Monday, December 14, 2009

Diamonds Are Forever

Diamonds Are Forever A Plight On Our Society

Let's face it, this Christmas your wife or girlfriend will love to get a little box with a diamond ring in it. It's every girls fantasy.. Much like waking up to oral sex is one of those things every guy would fantasize about. Something simple and yet wonderful.. The problem is one of those things is actually morally pleasing and the other is filled with pain and torture. If your girlfriend says that the blowjob is the pain and torture option, it's time to get yourself a new S.O. for the holidays.

Diamonds are legitimately a completely disgusting industry and the fact that everyone wants one is also disgusting. Oh, don't get me wrong, it's nice to think you're special enough to get something worth so much given to you to signify the "forever lasting" whatever it is you have with them, but that's a lie. Diamonds are only highly priced because there's a monopoly on them and they've created and burned it in your mind that it is. In reality, it's far from that.

We're all raised to think that one day, if she's lucky enough, a handsome man will be given the chance to slide a fat diamond ring of her own onto her finger. We're told that diamonds are forever.. Much like death and disfigurement, it's all forever. Diamonds, much like death and disfigurement, is also very common. In fact, they're found all over the Earth. To bad DeBeers wants you to believe that they're rare. They're as common as shinny rocks. In fact, that's all they really are.

Diamonds are artificially expensive. DeBeers causes a price gauge for something that is worth pennies on the dollar. That's not even much of an issue. The diamond trade causes mass bloodshed and instability in Africa but nobody cares because diamonds are sparkly and Africans are black.

The diamond industry chops the hands off of poor African boys so they wont steal diamonds. They work people to death. They pay these people barely enough to survive then the make millions on the diamonds that are found. Your typical diamond ring has about $5 worth of shinny rocks. The diamond industry is quite possibly the closest thing to pure evil in the world today. If anything, I would like to make a synthetic diamond out of the ashes of DeBeers execs.

Behold the power of marketing. There's literally no way to tell a natural and synthetic diamond apart due to the fact that there isn't actually a difference between the two other than, you know, blood. Ok.. wait, my bad. There is a difference. Natural diamonds have flaws which symbolize the flaws in your relationship making it a beautiful and unique snow flake of a thing. How apt a symbol of love an completely worth funding wars in the DRC over.

This is the face of your girlfriend when you give her that diamond ring.

This is the exact face a woman makes when she finds out that rock isn't a real diamond (You didn't tell them the rock was face)

Now this is the face when she finds out it is real after all.

The lesson here is that women are fickle, emotional creatures given to constant fits and mood swings. It's best to ignore them.

I had a friend who is thinking of popping the question ask me and I told him the reality of diamond rings. He thought it would be a good idea to get his potential fiancee a diamond ring from a pawnshop. At least that way he would go around buying from DeBeers at a high price. I had to tell him that not only is he supporting the exploitation of the African underclass, but he's also exploiting the American underclass. A two for one.

There's those who say just buy from Canadian sources. You're still not helping. If you don't buy synthetic diamonds, you're still paying cartel prices. It's free market time.. Cartel prices are what makes you dumb for buying real diamonds. The whole diamond trade in Africa is what makes you a monster for supporting that. This is pretty old, but this article in wired is a pretty good read about the subject.

Getting an artificial diamond is cheaper, it will have fewer flaws and will not involve any moral hand wringing about how many Africans died in the process. There's tons of people who get them just for the economic reasons, not to mention the moral ones.

Why would you want to compromise your position on tyranny, human suffering and the morally bankrupt companies for a women because you're a desperate virgin looking for something to ease the loneliness? It's not that I don't care about the happiness of women. It's just that their happiness isn't worth having blood on your hands.

I know what you're thinking. This guy talks a big game but much like 9 out of 10 guys who has these soap box rants about these blood diamonds, he's just going to talk a big game and then get his fiancee a diamond ring anyway. Wrong. If she's so set on a diamond that she won't accept the real consequences for real people on the other side of the world then she's not worth it. You should reconsider ostensibly spending the rest of your life with her

It is possible to love someone more than you care about your politics and abstract ideals.. but all that means is that you're pretty fickle about your ethics. At this point there's an important question to be asked. Have you've read "have you ever tried to sell a diamond"? If you haven't, do so now. It's long and old, but a good read.

If you're interested in more material, you can always check out The Diamond Empire. Watch that as it's pretty fucking enlightening for those of you who still think that diamonds are required for the whole "traditional" route to go about in getting hitched.

Then we get to the question about the appropriate diamond sizes/clarity for an engagement ring and I just don't know what to tell you. It really depends on your own situation, but there's alternatives to supporting a terrible system.

I leave you with this final news piece from Front Line. It's an hour long, but after watching it you'll never want a diamond again.

Click Here for Video Playback

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