Sunday, September 12, 2010

Leave Your Entourage Behind...

Leave Your Entourage Behind...

Tonight is the season finale of Entourage. This male fantasy show comes to an end as a full season as next year it'll only be six episodes and an optional movie to finish off the series. I would like to think that it's at least leading you to a high note of a season finale but the plot of the show has become so unbelievably idiotic.. and that's saying a lot considering the show's premise is about the rise, fall and then rise again of a Hollywood actor and his entourage.

So this little blog entry is all about the guesses on what happens tonight.

My predictions:

Vince ends up in celebrity rehab where Eminem is presently recovering from sex addiction. During the cameo, Eminem shows Vince his favorite porn (Sasha eating a 10-man anal creampie off an elephant's ass while having her ex give her a golden shower). Vince finally breaks and pledges to break out of rehab to rescue his true love.

Turtle gets beheaded by Mexicans. His head is found roaming on a live turtle in the middle of the road. The turtle also has an iPhone© taped to it playing "this is really good tequila" on loop.

Drama gets the show, but finds out E's assistant is a lesbian and gets depressed.

Eric is sitting in bed when Sloan comes in with a brown paper bag. "Eric, you've been inside my ass so now it's my turn to be inside yours" she says with a grin as she pulls out a Twilight-themed strap-on (the strap on sparkles).

Ari finds out that the assistant that betrayed Amanda is actually Mrs Gold. She got the job behind his back in order to force him into retirement and spend more ~*~family time~*~.

With the way things are going I honestly expect at least one of these to be true. Because look at the Ari-Amanda Daniels-Lizzie-Sexual Harassment Tape-NFL thing. Tossing in Amanda Daniels assistant out of left field made not fucking sense.

Remember this scene

You mean to tell me that calling people Cocksuckers and Cunts is worse than walking around your newly owned place and shooting up people with a paintball gun? At the very least it's some sort of criminal assault and battery, and in tort law, it's most definitely assault.

So that alone makes this current season's harassment situation a hypocrisy. In a universe where Ari can go in and do that without repercussions, it make no sense for him to get into trouble for having a sailors tongue.

I'm hoping beyond hope that the final scene is Sasha walking into a porn studio to get fucked by 5 dudes and Vince is shivering through withdraws in a white, cold room. Ending it with Vince in rehab seems like a logical conclusion to the season, and it gives us the time jump that is usually between seasons.

That whole side story is beyond stupid. Sasha is now the girlfriend of a millionaire boyfriend and she balks at the idea that he will be a-okay by getting fucked by five dudes, one of which is her ex-fiancee. How stupid do the writers get?

But I'll be fair here. Vince is being a total fucking idiot about her. Just fucking dump her if she wants to get dicked on screen by a lot of guys. On the other hand, she straight up told him "get me that part and I wont fuck other guys" and now she's taking that back. Oh one of the many moments the writers stopped caring.

When you think about it, Vince really has a bad history of being a total mother's boy bitch when it comes to any girl that is even remotely famous on her own without him. He falls madly in love with any girl that doesn't need him and just tosses around a fuck or two with little concern to those who look at him with awe.

I guess I just want to see him lose Airwalker just so this show doesn't become anymore of a Mark Walberg method of bragging about how him and the funky bunch lived in the industry.

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