Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The New DCU

The New DCU

Yet another comic book post. I know, but it's important. Well, not really. But for those who nerd out about this sort of thing, the DC comics universe has just gotten a bit of a make over and with the release of Flashpoint #5, we finally figured out how.

For those of you at home keeping score, it went down like this. The Reverse Flash, Thawne reveals to Barry that because Barry went back in time to save his mother from Thawne killing her, Barry took in all the speedforce and then time exploded, creating this sort of altered timeline. The batman of this universe, Thomas Wayne, kills Thawne and tells Barry to run away. Barry then runs home to his mother and has a good cry before letting her go and travels back in time to punch himself in the face. Thus stopping him from going back in time. Bam! With that hit the DCnU begins.

And really, that's just fucking hilarious. Flashpoint could have been pretty awesome. But it ended up being two years worth of build up of Barry crying over his dead mother. But executing the reboot could have been awesome in every way. Perhaps DiDio and Lee need to go back in time and punch themselves allowing Final Crisis become the lead into a new reboot. Instead we get this ham-fisted mess.

It makes you wonder what Johns originally had planned for the Flashpoint ending. Because really, the reboot should have/could have been caused by Final Crisis considering time was collapsing into a single point in that story anyway.

Barry just ends up being the worst Flash ever. Wally would be shaking his head, you know, if he still existed. Which for some reason the DCnU has wiped Wally West, the Flash that took the mantle when Barry died and has been that character for the greater part of the last few decades.

Which leads me to hope that Wally just become the new Zoom. He would be the most sympathetic bad guy ever. He has every perfect reason to hate Barry as he erased his wife and children. All that time looking up to the guy just for him to do this would make it hard to find fault with the guy. How could you reshape the world around you without thinking of your nephew who was your side kick for years?

Then again, maybe I should just calm down......

Breath in... breath out. How bad can it be, right? Well, let's talk about today's first issue of the DCnU in Justice League #1

How can I put it in words? I mean, the story is blatantly paced-for-trades. Which means that a story that could have been written through 3 issues gets stretched out to 6 for the sake of collecting it in a trade to sell later on. It's really bad because when talking about the reboot, DC has been very outspoken in their proclamations of "no more writing for the trade".

Which is really odd to start off this DC's mega-hyped, once-in-decades attempt to capture new readers. It's essentially one chapter that only really features two members of the League and barely hints at the overall plot of the story. Do they honestly think that people will see this and want to pay $3.99 for 24 pages of story and wait a month for another chunk?

Which is also odd. Geoff Johns gets the chance to write the story that will be read by more eyes than anything else he will ever do and he spends 20 pages on Frank Miller's Batman's team up with the most cocky Hal Jordan I have read. In which they accomplish the singularly heroic task of watching evildoer's minion blowing himself up, with 4 bonus pages of poor sport Vic Stone running up the score on Mumford. More on that sick shit later.

But even if you're leading off with Batman and Hal, two characters who have had a movie out most recently, as well as being the two characters that have changed the least in this switch over. But even using pretty well established characters they really needlessly pointed out stupid shit about them.

Did you guy s know that Batman DOESN'T HAVE ANY POWERS?! How about that Green Lantern is part of a corps and there's thousands of them roaming around space sectors. Why thank you JLA #1 for hammering that fact into my brain about six billion times.

What was with Superman's first response to meeting Hal Jordan being to clock him and tossing him 30 feet. That sort of thing would have killed your average person. Besides that, isn't that Hal Jordan's thing these days? Punching first and asking questions never. Looks like Geoff got his characters mixed up.

It also feels like an eye rolling situation because when you think about it, it's really going to take only two issues before they rehash a Batman vs Superman fight? Oh how innovative... Oh wait, I guess since this is the DCnU, that situation has never happened before. Maybe Batman and Superman will go in for that first punch on to be broken up by the Flash for no particular reason.

The back and forth between the characters were nothing more than pissing matches and major super dickery right out of the gate it makes you wonder why these are the good guys. And not to mention that all the seams on the costumes are really becoming grating to me. They seem so unnecessary.

Back to Vic Stone. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the adventures of this character, it's a surprise to see how we're suppose to revel in his impending creation into Cyborg.
"Here's a boy who could be a quadzillionaire within 4 years thanks to being the best football player in history. Now let's all watch in awe as his body is horrendously mutilated!!!! He'll have to become a super person after this because it's either that or just die in a lump!".
It's so heart warming. It's sort of like being excited to see Bruce's parents get shot. But maybe Batman will take part of all this. Watch his horrible injuries are going to be the Justice League's fault and that will be used as the motivation for them to stop being such giant douchebags and actually go public to try and help people. Cyborgs parts will more than likely be some Wayne industries property.

Which I guess will at least add a reason as to why one kid who gets into an accident gets to be a superhero while every other amputee has to just deal with it.

Oddly enough, a lot of people have something new to deal with.. The price. For anyone who just got an iPhone/iPad and who purchase apps will be wondering why the pricing of all this is so insane for digital comics. Not just DC's. But as a whole. I mean, for $3 you can buy Angry Birds, Words with Friends or Bejeweled. Maybe if they were charging a dollar per issue, comics might reach the same level of those games in sales. But that shit isn't happening anytime soon at the price point they are suggesting.

Cameron Stewart wrote a really good piece a few months ago on how publishers ought to be aiming for a 99 cent price point, but sadly I can't find it anymore.

I get that there's a lot of cost going into making a comic book and 99 cents may be way too low for the amount being sold today, you don't think that a 99 cent comic will sell more issues in the long run? Maybe it's a matter of just adjusting the business model. Instead of charging $2.99 for 22 pages, you should be charging 99 cents for 10 pages.

I realize that 10 pages for a buck obviously isn't a better value than 20 pages for twice the price, but psychologically it pushes things more firmly into impulse-buy territory. Not to mention that it handles another problem that the comic industry faces - delay time.

Because even if the price point issue is resolved, there's the matter of reading one piece of the story and then waiting 30 days to get the next. You want to draw new readers in you need to give them a quicker turn around. I think that comics should probably be moving towards a weekly/biweekly storytelling model as standard. Having that 20 page piece of story every month just isn't very appealing to those who aren't already used to the Wednesday ritual.

It may mean a lower page count and content per week, but at least it keeps it fresh in your mind. How many shows would you be interested in watching if you only got an episode a month? Having less of it more often seems like an acceptable trade-off in the long run.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Why So Blue, Superman?

Why So Blue, Superman?

Today is a very special day. It's the last day for a while that Superman wears his red undies on the outside of his pants. Yeah, crazy. They've changed his costume around for the comics as well as giving 51 other comic books a slight, if not extreme make-over. And unlike the excitement that Extreme Make-over Home edition gets, not so many people are all that thrilled about it when the bus moves out of the way here.

And for those who thought you would be able to see him in the films with the underwear on.. Sorry to say but you're going to have to do with out. The following pictures surfaced of the Man of Steel's latest movie role:

These images confirm that Supes doesn't wear the red underwear in the film. Basically showing that DC has got it locked down on keeping quality control all over various mediums. On a side note, I'm not sure if that's Henry Cavill or a stuntman, but if it is, the guy got properly stacked for his role as the man of steel. Look at Henry Cavill as Clark Kent here.

I do have to say that even with this very strange perspective, the suit looks a little okay without them. I'll be honest, I'm hurt that they're not on superman because I think that it helps break the blue of the suit up into different sections. But the way it's been done looks alright for the most part. I think it's a better looking costume than what we got out of Green Lantern for certain.

The only question to wonder is who the hell the motion capture suited guy is and why he has a pole taped to his head. The answer to that is so that Superman can have line of sight to the eye point for when he's delivering his lines. And since we're on the topic, What's up with Faora's armor? It's sort of vampirish and something out of what you expect to find in a BLADE flick.

Then again, I guess it makes sense for the story they are going to shoot to telling with General Zod as the main villain. Which will also go with giving him a sort of black leather MAD MAX style armor suit. It would match the drawing by Jim Lee of General Zod...

In any case, R.I.P., Red over pants. You were a trusted friend and Superman couldn't have been super without you

So what is causing the DC Universe to change? A story that comes out tomorrow named Flashpoint where Barry Allen goes back in time and screws things up. Much like Homer with that time traveling broken toaster. It's all a sorted mess and I'm sure it'll eventually be... well, no. It's not going to be fine. But it'll just be.

I don't get why DC thinks that this sort of action of tooling around with all of the properties will be somehow a good thing to bring in new readers. Do they not remember how bad things were before Crisis on Infinite Earths? Do they not see how they alienated new readers themselves? Maybe COIE wiped out everyone who worked at DC's memory of the previous state of comics.

At some point there was three Clark Kents in the comic world. One of them that didn't even know Lois Lane or puberty, one was married to Lois and the other was never Superboy. It was all sorts of confusing when they tried to make them cross over. But hey, that's all going to change, right. RIGHT?!

At least the good to come out of this is something that I agree with Newsarama about. In that there's going to be a lot of really terrible comic stories driven over and never to be mentioned again. But hey, before we go silently into that dark light, let's take a look at the top ten moments of the DCU that we're all glad will be gone in... 36 hours?

10) Bart Allen: From a boring Kid Flash to a corpse Flash to a Black Flash
9) Kal-El and Barda Make a Porno
8) Superman goes for a walk and acts like a dick to America
7) JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Justice.
6) Batman's pee-pee pants
5) Dick Grayson is one, two, three times raped
4) Does Kyle Rayner have a panic attack whenever he opens a refrigerator now?
3) Jason Todd got... punched back to life?
2) Cat: A weapon for the 21st century
1) The first comic book I ever read, Identity Crisis, was the worst thing about the DC
Yup, they pretty much nailed everything that was wrong with DC. Only the problem is that in another 6 months time, there will be equally as bad stories that will be begging to get wiped off the face of the comic earth.

Monday, August 29, 2011

This Post Violates Copy Rights

This Post Violates Copy Rights

This American Life did a very interesting and fascinating examination of how US patent law is 100% utter bullshit. It does exactly the opposite of what it is meant to do and is just there as rent seeking by lawyers and companies who solely exist to sue people for violating patents that are for things that have already been invented.

The whole episode can be heard by clicking this link

It's my opinion that intellectual property should be abolished in all forms as the way the courts work only the rich can possibly benefit from copyright laws. The people these laws hit hardest are the small start up companies that don't have the resources to defend themselves which creates a barrier to entry for innovators as patent holders and copyright owners can always out spend legitimate inventors and people creating works that are for fair use.

Though it's also my position that capitalism should be abolished as well considering the only way the system works is if the rich can possibly benefit from it. The people this system hits hardest are the working people who don't have the resources to defend themselves since they can only survive by selling their labor power for the lowest wage necessary to maintain and reproduce it.

Though, I'm not sure what discussion I can have about patent laws beyond saying that "they're bad". Because, you know, they're bad. So I'll just leave it at that and hope that you take the time to check out the link to TAL. At worse it will help you fall a sleep. At best you'll learn something new.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For...

These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For...

If you don't get the star wars reference then you must not have spent the last week at Comic Con. I have, I am a nerd. Deal with it. But in regards to using Jedi mind tricks, it seems you don't have to use any. Apparently it's pretty easy to brainwash people.
How easy is it to falsify memory? New research at the Weizmann Institute shows that a bit of social pressure may be all that is needed. The study, which appears Friday in Science, reveals a unique pattern of brain activity when false memories are formed – one that hints at a surprising connection between our social selves and memory.

The experiment, conducted by Prof. Yadin Dudai and research student Micah Edelson of the Institute's Neurobiology Department with Prof. Raymond Dolan and Dr. Tali Sharot of University College London, took place in four stages. In the first, volunteers watched a documentary film in small groups. Three days later, they returned to the lab individually to take a memory test, answering questions about the film. They were also asked how confident they were in their answers.

They were later invited back to the lab to retake the test while being scanned in a functional MRI (fMRI) that revealed their brain activity. This time, the subjects were also given a "lifeline": the supposed answers of the others in their film viewing group (along with social-media-style photos). Planted among these were false answers to questions the volunteers had previously answered correctly and confidently. The participants conformed to the group on these "planted" responses, giving incorrect answers nearly 70% of the time.

But were they simply conforming to perceived social demands, or had their memory of the film actually undergone a change? To find out, the researchers invited the subjects back to the lab to take the memory test once again, telling them that the answers they had previously been fed were not those of their fellow film watchers, but random computer generations. Some of the responses reverted back to the original, correct ones, but close to half remained erroneous, implying that the subjects were relying on false memories implanted in the earlier session.

An analysis of the fMRI data showed differences in brain activity between the persistent false memories and the temporary errors of social compliance. The most outstanding feature of the false memories was a strong co-activation and connectivity between two brain areas: the hippocampus and the amygdala. The hippocampus is known to play a role in long-term memory formation, while the amygdala, sometimes known as the emotion center of the brain, plays a role in social interaction. The scientists think that the amygdala may act as a gateway connecting the social and memory processing parts of our brain; its "stamp" may be needed for some types of memories, giving them approval to be uploaded to the memory banks. Thus social reinforcement could act on the amygdala to persuade our brains to replace a strong memory with a false one.
In conclusion, it seems that people can be brainwashed, even by Facebook friends they have never met. So what they're saying is that individuals have a tendency to defer knowledge to the Other supposed to know and this Other structures their symbolic order in such a way as to alter their memories.

And as has been proven time and time again, memory is the absolute most unreliable facet of human existence. The one thing a cop can tell you they hate the most, is if there's more than 4 or 5 witnesses on the crime scene.

But then again, all this is just sloppy neuropsych research that doesn't prove anything. It's exactly what the world needed. If anything though, it proves that grants and publicity are out there ripe for the taking.

Because really, this study is pretty bold of a thing to say with such a small number of test subjects to get the information from.

But what is interesting is that people lots of amygdala activity also vote conservative, along with easily being brainwashed... Maybe they're on to something here.

Or maybe not. It could very well be just stuff your brain does all of the time. We like to perceive reality as being consistent even when it's not. You probably responded to people with "what?" before you even heard them finish their sentence from time to time and have yourself convinced that it's just some weird thing you do.

In short, that's science. Deal with it. Your brain is pretty easy to hack. Face the reality of that.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Oh, So You Say You Got Raped?

Oh, So You Say You Got Raped?

Well, tough shit! As you can see from the Dominique Strauss-Khan case, nothing really matters when you're the President of the International Monetary Fund. Go ahead and rape everyone. No one will ever do shit to you...
US prosecutors have confirmed they have asked a judge to dismiss all charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former French presidential hopeful accused of attempting to rape a hotel maid.

The move brings to a controversial end one of the biggest sex scandals in decades. Strauss-Kahn is expected in court on Tuesday, where he will be told he is a free man and will be allowed to leave the country for the first time since his arrest in May on charges that he attempted to rape hotel worker Nafissatou Diallo.

In court papers filed on Monday, Manhattan district attorney Cyrus Vance said: "The nature and number of the complainant's falsehoods leave us unable to credit her version of events beyond a reasonable doubt, whatever the truth may be about the encounter between the complainant and the defendant.

"If we do not believe her beyond a reasonable doubt, we cannot ask a jury to do so."
Diallo's lawyer, Ken Thompson, attacked the decision: "The Manhattan district attorney, Cyrus Vance, has denied the right of a woman to get justice in a rape case," he said. "He has not only turned his back on this victim but he has also turned his back on the forensic, medical and other physical evidence in this case. If the Manhattan district attorney, who is elected to protect our mothers, our daughters, our sisters, our wives and our loved ones, is not going to stand up for them when they're raped or sexually assaulted, who will?"

Diallo and her lawyers met the district attorney's team on Monday afternoon. Thompson said the meeting lasted 30 seconds and that prosecutors told Diallo the case was being dismissed because she had repeatedly lied to them. He called the meeting "disrespectful".

Protesters held a demonstration in support of Diallo outside Vance's office and demanded that he step down.

Earlier in the day Thompson had made a last-ditch effort to save the prosecution by having the district attorney removed from the case before he could request its dismissal.

Vance's office initially gave unqualified backing to Diallo, calling her statement "a compelling and unwavering story".

Her story appeared to be backed by forensic evidence; his semen was found on her uniform and the carpet of the room where the incident took place. While Strauss-Kahn's lawyers have never denied a sexual encounter took place, Diallo's credibility came under fire as it emerged she had lied to officials on numerous occasions, including to immigration officials about claims that she had been gang raped in Guinea, her home country.

As credibility issues surfaced, Diallo's lawyers clashed with Vance's office and fought their case in public. Diallo filed a civil lawsuit against the former IMF boss on 8 August, a move that legal experts said made Vance's position even more difficult.
Pierre Hourcade, a French attorney who is also admitted to practice law in New York, said: "Dismissal does not mean he is innocent, simply that the district attorney doesn't believe the case can go to trial."

He said some people in France were surprised that the US authorities prosecuted the case so vigorously initially, only to cool on the case equally as fast. "It's not that he doesn't believe her, it's that he doesn't believe her to be a good victim. That's the way that the American system is built," he said.

Defence lawyer Ron Kuby said Vance mishandled the case from the start: "This case could be used as a text book for what not to do," he said. Kuby said Vance had been too quick to bring charges, had made statements that were "far in advance of the evidence" and "rushed ahead to indict him when they didn't have to".

Stuart Slotnick, a white collar crime expert at Buchanan Ingersoll & Rooney and a former Federal prosecutor, defended Vance. "This is the same DA's office that prosecutes people who rape prostitutes. Those are very difficult cases to bring," he said.
He said it was clear that she had lied to the prosecutors on numerous occasions and that they no longer felt they could trust her.

"These are the people with the greatest access to evidence, to the complainant, and they don't believe in the case," he said. "A prosecutor should not prosecute a case that they don't believe in."
Read it all! Read all of that bullshit! This is fucking disgusting news to hear no matter how scummy of a person you are.

Well now, we can't prove you were raped in Guinea, so we're gonna toss out the DNA evidence, the forensics, the other witness statements and the fact that Dominique Strauss-Khan himself admitted to having relations with this girl. Sorry, but you're just not a good victim. Enjoy your imminent deportation process.

Fucking shit. Dominique Strauss-Khan, who will be referred to as DSK for the purpose of not having to mention his full name again, is such an asshole piece of shit. I mean, just look at this shit again:
Stuart Slotnick, a white collar crime expert at Buchanan Ingersoll & Rooney and a former Federal prosecutor, defended Vance. "This is the same DA's office that prosecutes people who rape prostitutes. Those are very difficult cases to bring," he said.
It's just so easy to spin the narrative to make DSK the victim here when you have the capital to back it up. It just ends up being a case of the poor black girl trying to get rich. It seems that we're actually going with the "You can't be raped if you're an immigrant" stance as official U.S. policy now.

And you know what, it's official. He actually got away with it. Being rich in America is like living as a god. Imagine the power to do anything you fucking want and get away with it. That's the power of being rich. The richer you are the more you can get away with.

It's cool that when you become ultra wealthy, getting caught raping someone is like getting caught speeding or getting a parking ticket. Clearly America is awe inspiring. "Oh, you only raped one of these peasants? That's fine. But twitter about stealing money from the business class or potentially stealing money from the rich people? Enjoy spending four years in jails, you fuck face!

I'm just wondering how rich you need to be in order to eat someone's heart while a crowd watches. Maybe Steve Jobs could get away with that. In fact, I'm pretty sure that people would cheer as you take someone's organs to replace the cancer ridden ones in your system.

But hey, maybe if this victim were more were more credible.... Maybe it's her fault she's not white or rich? I think everyone is forgetting the lifelong damage to this man's reputation caused by this non-rich person. I mean, has anyone considered this fact and HEY, it's INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN "GUILTY" not guilty until provahsajfhdskdjlhfakhadkjlfaksljdhakjfd Ugh. Fuck this noise.

It's not like Her story appeared to be backed by forensic evidence; his semen was found on her uniform and the carpet of the room where the incident took place. While Strauss-Kahn's lawyers have never denied a sexual encounter took place..

But hey, the only firsthand account we have is the maids and we know she can't be trusted. A poor black woman being taken at her word? Something clearly is amiss. Even if DSK said he forced her to suck his dick, he just said it was consensual and she didn't. I mean, maybe she shouldn't have worn that maid outfit.

He is, after all, being accused by another woman also. And I hope Ms. Diallo takes him to civil court. Unfortunately in that situation that will further fuel the "she's lying because she's a money grubbing whore" crowd.

But hey, as this news article points out. Strauss-Kahn paid a heavy price" according to his defense attorney, "the momentary lapse of judgment was not criminal... "
Strauss-Kahn may also take legal action of his own against Diallo, said Brafman. He could file his own claims to counter Diallo's lawsuit, "and that's certainly a consideration," Brafman told The Associated Press in an interview. "Because she did lie, and he has suffered enormous damages as a result of those lies."

While Diallo's account of the encounter has been recounted in interviews, her lawsuit and the now-defunct prosecution, Strauss-Kahn doesn't want to detail his version of what happened at the luxurious hotel, Brafman said.

"What happened in that room, so long as we have now confirmed that it wasn't criminal, is really not something that needs to be discussed publicly," he said.

Strauss-Kahn appeared resolute at the hearing. He smiled and shook hands with his biographer as his wife, journalist Anne Sinclair, sat nearby. The couple left court without speaking to reporters, but Strauss-Kahn later issued a statement describing the case as "a nightmare for me and my family."

"I want to thank all the friends in France and in the United States who have believed in my innocence, and to the thousands of people who sent us their support personally and in writing," the statement said. "I am most deeply grateful to my wife and family who have gone through this ordeal with me."
In other news, Jamie Leigh Jones is getting sued for $2 million dollars.

Fuuuuuuck. Reading the lawsuit makes me angry

Maybe I should be happy with this. Maybe I do prefer the honesty that the world is a terrible and unfair place as opposed to a months/year long trail where sharp lawyering gets him off anyway.

Friday, August 26, 2011



Oh Hi there! Didn't see you with your TARDIS just materializing. Welcome to the future. It's now time for that second part of this season of Doctor Who to start up. Oh, you're not excited for it yet? Well, maybe this will tickle your fancy...

That didn't get you all the way excited for it? Well how about this....

Oh come now, it's not spoilers anyway. Besides, didn't you hear, a new studies shows that spoilers don't matter anyway. A recent study out of UC San Diego suggest that spoiler alerts may be for naught. The University researchers found that the pleasure people get from reading or watching something isn't diminished by knowing what's going to happen in the end. In fact, their pleasures may be enhanced some.

In the study, conducted by Nicholas Christenfield and Jonathan Leavitt of UC San Diego's psychology department, participants read suspenseful stories and researchers either told them what would happen or let them find out on their own. They found that overwhelmingly, subjects enjoyed the narrative more when they knew in advance how it would all play out.

They theorized that this may be the case in part because great stories depend on the talent of the author, not clever twists. "Plots, after all, are just excuses for great writing. What the plot is is pretty much irrelevant. The pleasure is in the writing itself." Said Christenfeld. "Monet's paintings aren't really about water lilies."

And perhaps it may be that without the distraction of wondering what will come next, more attention can be devoted to the subtler aspects of the text.

" ...once you know how it turns out, it’s cognitively easier — you’re more comfortable processing the information — and can focus on a deeper understanding of the story," said Leavitt. So perhaps you shouldn't get too upset when someone drops a big spoiler bomb on you. It may turn out that you enjoy the piece much more now that you can absorb the good out of it.

Besides, those spoilerish stuff is far better than what BBC America has done to Doctor Who by adding this stupid intro in the mix:

Besides that add in, BBC America also runs commercials jammed packed into the episodes. God how I hate that, I especially hate how they really mess up the flow and pacing of the show. I think there were more commercials than actual sow during the airing of Impossible Astronaut. They also run super fucking spoilerly behind the scenes things in the breaks, which is a huge dick move even if I just posted the article because behind the scenes shots are usually really destructive for that fourth wall narrative.

But that's not really too spoilerish. how about we just go into it with these suckers since it will air tomorrow anyway. Here's a clip from the episode that really makes you a bit confused:

Then there's The Doctor meeting Hitler...

Which makes sense considering the episode is called "Let's kill Hitler!" But what about that first clip there. Why did he call that rather darker than River girl "Mel"? Maybe the regeneration causes Melody Pond to change skin color some time through the whole process?

I have to admit, the idea of current Amy being forced to deal with a bratty teenage Melody Pond is pretty amusing.

So what do you need to know going into this weekend? Well, it would be helpful to see the final teaser trailer/prequel to the episode. In which case, here you go:

Oh man.. only a short time before new doctor who!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Let's Make Welfare Even Harder

Let's Make Welfare Even Harder

This article took me a while to do a write up for because every time I would start I would get so angry that I would just close the browser. It's really a news story that is so bad, but yet those who don't understand the problem and just see it on the surface ignorantly support it. but hey, fuck the poor cause if you're on welfare in Florida then you should get a drug test

TALLAHASSEE, Fla.- Mandatory drug testing for welfare recipients soon will be the law in Florida.

The measure passed the state Senate 26-11 Thursday, The Miami Herald reported, following 78-38 approval by the House in April. Gov. Rick Scott has made it a priority.

"It's fair to taxpayers," the governor said after the vote. "They're paying the bill. And they're often drug screened for their jobs. On top of that, it's good for families. It creates another reason why people will think again before using drugs."

Scott earlier issued an executive order requiring random drug testing of state employees.

The bill makes all adult recipients of federal Temporary Assistance for Needy Families benefits pay for the tests, which usually cost about $35, but those who pass will be reimbursed.

Recipients who test positive for any illicit substances -- after disclosing all prescriptions they take -- will lose benefits for a year. A second failed test will cost them benefits for three years. Parents will have to designate another adult to collect benefits for their children.

The measure provides no funds for drug treatment.

Since this article, the law finally passed and is on the books now. I saw this first on Facebook some time with the usual "Hell yeah!" and "Good, not my tax dollars!" sort of approval that accompanies any such legislation.

But to me, the closing statement of the article says it all. Drug abuse/addiction is a sickness that requires treatment, not some frivolous hobby undertaken by people so bored and with too much time on their hands that they can fit it in perfectly with their easy living on welfare lifestyle.

This law is one of those laws that sounds fine to many casual voters, because they lack the ability to understand the real problem. You know, the problem that is drug addiction in itself.

What bugs me about all this is also that they're not testing for nicotine or caffeine. Those are considered the "good" drugs. Neither are they looking for alcohol in your system. So you can be a raging alcoholic and still get money to drink with. It's perfectly fine to burn your kids with cigarettes during a three day drunken bender, but weed in the system? Fuck you, your kids are starving.

Why is it that we don't drug test the bankers taking bailouts and corporate welfare? I mean, if a poor person is taking some drugs because their life on the bottom rung of society is so shitty they need stimulants to get through the day, it's only costing me a few cents. But if a banker gets a bailout then that's costing me a shit ton more.

I guess it's because it's not welfare, it's considered stimulus. Man, don't I know anything? We all know, or at least we should suspect that a shitload of those bankers are doing coke and probably weed as well. This is such an obvious "fuck the poor" move that I am kind of a little shocked. I really shouldn't be, but then here we are.

Mandatory drug testing is almost exclusively applied to people who are at or near the bottom of the societal ladder. It's incredibly one sided and seems to be transparently a fuck the poor thing. Why don't we make receiving tax rebates and credits determinant on passing a drug test? Mandatory drug tests for drivers caught in moving violations? Stuff like that. You only ever see this stuff come up with the poor and corporate underlings. The only exception I can think of is athletes.

This is really just demeaning and humiliating to all around.

And the cherry on top of this FUCK YOU Sundae is that the bill makes all adult recipients of Temporary Assistance for Needy Families benefits pay for the tests, which usually cost about $35, but those who pass will be reimbursed for their test payment.

So it's not enough to take benefits away from the people who probably need them the most, but we've gotta get that $35 bucks back as well for conducting the testing. Bam!

Where the fuck do you people think someone who needs a government-sponsored debit card to pay for life's essentials are going to get $35 to loan to the government to pay for their drug test exactly? Perhaps it's a situation where support for this kind of thing is found chiefly among people who honestly don't believe that it's possible to have less than $35 cash for an extended period.

I also have to wonder how the hell do people see Universal Healthcare as socialist and this being a fine as dandy piece of legislation? I guess it does boil down to saying "Fuck the poor". These people believe welfare is a bad thing, and they think that this law will force people off of welfare, and it will, but not to get a job to pay for that habit.

Ironically enough, it's that drug money and the culture around it turned Miami from a placid vacation get-away for old people into a globally relevant metropolitan. And now they're trying to flush out the drugs?

You really have to give it to them on this one, it's an excellent long term plan: Poor people use drugs, take away money for using drugs. Addicts will then commit crimes to get money for drugs, we arrest them for the crimes and pretty soon we won't have any more poor people. I see no downsides at all.

Well, except for maybe all the crime that will spawn in very low income areas. But how can we put them in jail if they aren't committing crimes yet?

I would be okay with this if they used the drug test to help steer people to substance abuse centers or something, as long as they didn't pull the rug out from under them at the same time. Or maybe just skip a step and offer drug rehab to people from the get go.

This bill neatly fits together peoples' misunderstandings of the welfare system together with their misunderstandings of drugs in general. I wish I was ignorant of reality and able to just blindly support things based on my gut because then I would love this law.

Over all, this just sounds like an obvious ploy to cut welfare benefits in the guise of some moral fiber.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Whole Lot Of Shaking Going On

Whole Lot Of Shaking Going On

So, yesterday there was an earthquake on the East coast. What up with that?

Take THAT Pittsburgh! It's pretty clear that California just wanted to share the love, so we built an earthquake generator. But apparently it was based out of Virginia.. and felt like a 5.8 in D.C.
This event has been reviewed by a seismologist. Magnitude 5.8 (Preliminary magnitude — update expected within 15 minutes) Date-Time
  • Tuesday, August 23, 2011 at 17:51:03 UTC
  • Tuesday, August 23, 2011 at 01:51:03 PM at epicenter
Location 37.875°N, 77.908°W Depth 6 km (3.7 miles) set by location program Region VIRGINIA Distances
  • 15 km (9 miles) S (179°) from Mineral, VA
  • 18 km (12 miles) SSE (154°) from Louisa, VA
  • 26 km (16 miles) ENE (58°) from Columbia, VA
  • 37 km (23 miles) E (97°) from Lake Monticello, VA
  • 54 km (34 miles) NW (314°) from Richmond, VA
  • 139 km (87 miles) SW (214°) from Washington, DC

And there was also one in Colorado the night before. One of the strongest on record, in fact. You know what this means... The Mole people are ramping up their attack. Or maybe it's just a matter of East Coasters being huge babies.

Considering I have lived in the center of the universe, otherwise known as California, I can safely say that I would not have been phased by this fart of an event. Earthquakes happen all the time, jeez. It's not a big deal. Oh, look at me. tectonic plates shifting frightens me!

For a while there the news seriously was talking about how this earthquake in the middle of Virginia WILL NOT cause a tsunami... I really was dumbstruck by this shit. Really? REALLY? At the very least not everyone was phased. Traders in the New York Stock Exchange felt the shaking and shouted to each other, "Keep trading!". Or at least that's what CNN's business correspondent Alison Kosick reported from the floor at around 2:20pm Eastern.

Fuck quakes, yo. Get money!

The most hiliarious shit about all this was that the epicenter was near some nuke plant that had been stripped of seismic measuring equipment a couple of years back because of budget cuts. HAHAHAHAHA. Gee, I bet they sure wish they still had those installed.

Earthquakes are probably the best instruments of proletarian justice expressed through the gestalt unconscious of the planet itself, or, something like that. Apart from that Haiti one. That was clearly caused by imperialism.

You just know that maybe, just maybe, this will create more talk about Fracking. Man, I really need to finish up my piece I have been writing for the past year about Fracking. But yeah, Fracking woke up the nameless god from his eternal slumber. Wouldn't that be the cool story behind this? Fracking in Virginia awakens an Old One who possesses the entirety of Washington D.C. As a result, American government moderately improves.

It does go to show you that Virginia is for Frackers. But yeah, we dug too greedily... and too deep.... *windows shake a little bit*

But no, really. Fuck Fracking. I really think that it's something that's causing situations like this. Why yes, let's blast water into a hole we dug into this solid piece of rock and get the natural gas out. What ever could go wrong? People do realize that it's a solid piece of rock that caused the earthquake yesterday to be felt as strong in New York as it was in Washington. Because there was no fault lines there to slow it down.

Oh well, fuck it. If the world is going to end, I should at least get some cheap gas out of it...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Sluts Going Back To Philly? I Don't Think So

Sluts Going Back To Philly? I Don't Think So

You may be familiar with the whole act of Slut Walks. It's basically a way to try to take back the word that has been the subject of a gender double standard for a long time now. That is the word SLUT.

As if it's perfectly normal for a guy to be a stud and get the chicks while the woman needs to stay back and wait for her prince charming. It's all really just tragic, though not as tragic as this ass wipe's opinion piece - Read the whole thing:
By Stu Bykofsky
Philadelphia Daily News
Daily News Columnist

THE UNIVERSE BEGAN with a bang, it is said, no sexual innuendo intended.

SlutWalks began with the casual remark of a misguided Toronto cop who in January told students at a crime-prevention talk, "Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order to not be victimized."

Because the overwhelming majority of rape victims were not dressed like sluts, he was wrong and he apologized, but his remark sparked a worldwide anti-rape, don't-blame-the-victim, don't-shame-the-slut movement.

Dictionaries define "slut" as a promiscuous woman, and/or one who is sloppy or untidy. (Up-to-date dictionaries might use a picture of Snooki.)

Why embrace that?

SlutWalk Philadelphia, which attracted more than 500 protesters Saturday - mostly women, mostly in their 20s and 30s, mostly wearing what their mothers would approve - caught fire after a careless column in the little-known Broad Street Review by Philly intellectual/gadfly Dan Rottenberg.

The wrongheaded column managed to blame victims, insinuate that all men are potential rapists and insanely connect the Cairo rape of CBS reporter Lara Logan with a sexy dress she had worn to an awards show in the States three years earlier. His column, for which he abjectly apologized, illustrated his miserable misunderstanding of rape facts.

By coincidence, Dan's daughter Julie was a writer for "Sex and the City," which helped define the sexual mores of a generation. Samantha, Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte were sexually active, but were they sluts? Did they "ask" to be raped?

"So, what is a slut?" I asked Hannah Altman, 21, organizer of the local SlutWalk.

After a pause, she said, "It depends on the scenario," but agreed it is a slur. So why use it? My answer: To attract attention. Call it an anti-rape march? Zzzzz. Call it SlutWalk? Wooo, wooo.

Jill Maier, director of counseling services for Women Organized Against Rape, applauded shifting blame from the victim to the perpetrator, but told me she feared that "the name is so charged it may distract from the message."

She said 1 out of 4 women is sexually assaulted at some point in life, and 70 percent of adult victims know their attackers. Attire rarely figures into it.

An older woman at the rally, with a guide dog, held a sign that summarized the protest: "I was wearing jeans and it was not my fault." She declined to give me her name or to have her face photographed.

Because some of what I write is sure to be mischaracterized by a few, listen: RAPE IS A CRIME. IT'S NEVER JUSTIFIED BY THE APPAREL OR EVEN THE CONDUCT OF THE VICTIM. That was SlutWalk's basic message, and most men would agree, if they thought about it, and I wish they would.

Repeated at the rally was the idea that rape is all about power and not about sex. That's a political statement, not a logical one. If it were solely about power, women would just be beaten, as male victims are, and not raped. Rape is sexual assault, too. Only those living in silos on Group Think Island can't see that.

Saturday, I saw SlutWalk suffering from SDD - Slut Deficit Disorder, with only a few women dressed like "sluts." Organizer Altman was in a T-shirt and denim shorts, declining to "dress up," as she said, skirting the word "slut."

Maybe 5 percent of the women (and 0.5 percent of the men) were in stereotypical slutwear. Gwen Stahlnecker, 18, and Courtney Wilkinson, 19, wore black bustiers, pink bras, tight shorts and fishnet hose to support the cause.

"When do you wear those outfits in public?" I asked.

"Never," they replied simultaneously. "It doesn't feel safe," Wilkinson said.
This is the smug piece of shit that allowed that retarded piece to exist.

The dude looks like he smells of cheap cigarettes, stale coffee and 70's paneling. He's like a much older version of that ugly nerd dwarf from the X-files group of Lone Gunmen.

What a fucker. I mean, why yes, because the overwhelming majority of rape victims were not dressed like sluts. But hey, the guy misses the point. Maybe that's not news worth stuff. As a guy I can say I miss a lot of stuff.

Just look at the following graph and see how bad women have it in society:

Let alone with this double standard that men who sleep around are studs but women who do so are sluts and should be shamed. Not to mention that even those who don't get around but just dress in their own style get this shit a lot.

And even though the chart above has other factors involved such as pregnancy and other women's natures in play, it still is pretty telling that that statistics are that mothers are paid less than childless women, but fathers are paid more than childless men. Maybe that makes me rethink my stance of having kids.

It's also very disturbing to see that marginal market value of a PHD being equivalent to the marginal market value of being a man. That's really fucking stupid as hell. So perhaps this douche bag writing this god awful article quoted should let women enjoy the word slut by taking it back.

Even if I find it a bit strange to try to reclaim the word slut. But that's mostly because unlike the words retard, spic or fagot that were also stolen and used in a negative content along with other slurs, the word slut doesn't refer to something actually existed. It's a concept from the get go that someone was easy to sleep with and really, when we move past the religious prude side, the amount of sex you have shouldn't even be an issue.

Let me go further, the word slut shouldn't exist except as a patriarchal ideological construct. It's like a communist trying to reclaim the act of baby eating.

Obviously Slutwalks are liberal as all hell, but the majority of the people who participate in them are bourgeois and face mostly separate issues than POC & the truly impoverished do; These people would not be allies in the first place, so I don't see how you can critique "slutwalk" without it just being a very basic critique of the very demographic that slutwalk is serving.

For example, the article complains that the organizers of Slutwalk did not bother to mention the black women who were being oppressed in New Orleans during Katrina - well, yeah, obviously... But why would they? Do the black women in New Orleans really need the support of students in Toronto, or any group of white women anywhere? Even if slutwalks were to devote inordinate attention to the issue, it would come across as fake and ridiculous, and nobody would welcome that sort of attention.

All in all, the article is written by a giant moron. Nuff said.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Muammar And Liberating Libya

Muammar And Liberating Libya

Finally Gadaffi is gone! I'm so glad! Finally the glorious tripartite pact of Bersculoni, Obama and Sarkozy can set things right in Africa! Gadaffi wasn't a genuine anti-imperialist anyway. In fact, he was kind of a flip-flopping asshole who found out too late that trying to cozy up with the west didn't work if they saw a more profitable alternative.

Score another victory for global neoliberalism. To the parade, gentlemne! Communism has been defeated once again in any one of its many forms. When will it ever learn? Then again, a Gadaffi victory would have also been a victory for neoliberalism, but that's neither here nor there. Let's all bask in the wonder that is a dictatorship falling. God is great and all that other stuff.

Did everyone miss Gadaffi becoming more and more friendly to America int he past years. I mean, it makes sense that we completely ignore that aspect of it. Besides, previously to Libya being on the news for its civil war, we could most likely not even find it on a map. I seriously have to question anyone's reasoning on thinking that Gadaffi was anything more than a pawn with funny clothing and a murderous paranoia

The entire narrative around Gaddafi from NATO's viewpoint was that he was an evil warlord and I guess he did go down swinging. But basically this whole NATO operation serves as both a domestic boon for the human rights discourse of Liberal 1st world governments as well as asserting the power of Africom. It has virtually nothing to do with Gadadffi's pro-capital/pro-imperialist polices. Remember when Gadaffi said that "If this [war] is about oil then I'm willing to renegotiate our contracts." I mean, does anyone remember any of that?

I just feel very bad for the poor suckers who think their lives are going to get any better now. I mean, do we know what the ideology is of the "rebels" here? I'd wager it's a capital-friendly Islamism is what it'll end up being. And thus, the real civil war can begin. Good luck to Shell, Goldman sachs and Al Quaeda in their future Libyan adventures.

I saw on various news sites many of the oil industry workers get interviewed who were celebrating claims that the west would modernize the industry and give them riches. Oh how wrong they are. It really is going to get pretty ugly.

You're really fooling yourself if you think that the new regime won't loot everything not bolted down and make things significantly worse for the Libyan people. When was the last time a government was overthrown by genuinely leftist people anyway? It has got to have been a while now.

I was actually hoping that the rebels would lose in all this. That is completely different from believing Gadaffi is some paragon of anti-imperialism who needed defending. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't rooting for him, but the rebels were a bunch of weaselly opportunists and they're probably going to dismantle their country to reward their NATO saviors soon.

But hey, I want my gas cheaper, better get it done, NATO.

All in all, there really is nothing to celebrate about the "takeover" of Tripoli. Poor people and average joe's were bled white through a civil war fueled by ethnic sectarianism and what will be left is a mass grave, and a state controlled by NATO funded olligarchs that will be unable to manage the economic crisis.

Worse of all, Congress hasn't even gotten a chance to vote on all this yet!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Steven Seagal Is A Piece of Shit

Steven Seagal is a Piece of Shit

I mean, you've seen his show on A&E where he bust into a Mexican's home with Sheriff Joe on a tank. So how the fuck does that same person in the 2010's say this when he had this speech in 1994

To go to this:

A show all about busting up brown people. Though I guess that's not where this all began, let's go back to his shitty film career.

And what a shitty career it is...

Maybe I just find his puns to be so god damn awful - and that's saying something given the amount of puns I spout out on a daily basis..

In short.. Fuck this guy.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Really Supporting The Troops

Really Supporting The Troops

You may see ads all over the place and a slew of other circle jerking about how people support their troops and what not, but how true is all that actually? I mean, do you really support your troops? In a way that isn't just being okay with the senseless killing of brown desert people?

Because from what it sounds like, we're not doing much in the way of really supporting the troops..
JOINT BASE LEWIS MCCHORD, Wash. - A soldier's widow says his fellow Army Rangers wouldn't do anything to help him before he took his own life - after eight deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan.

The Army found Staff Sgt. Jared Hagemann's body at a training area of Joint Base Lewis McChord a few weeks ago.

A spokesman for the base tells KOMO News that the nature of the death is still undetermined. But Staff Sgt. Hagemann's widow says her husband took his own life - and it didn't need to happen.

"It was just horrible. And he would just cry," says Ashley Hagemann.

Ashley says her husband Jared tried to come to grips with what he'd seen and done on his eight deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"And there's no way that any God would forgive him - that he was going to hell," says Ashley. "He couldn't live with that any more."

While you've probably come to expect me to make some snide comment about the troops based on my feelings of our continuous escalation of our war efforts over seas, I'm not without some sympathy.

It's really tragic and strange that the only way this man could prove he was really human was to destroy his humanity. Think about it for a second. I shouldn't be surprised that this is a normal response to the brutality of the American armed forces in Iraq and Afghanistan.

I highly suggest reading Full Spectrum Disorder. It's a really good book.

Yeah, I'm sure I'll make a comment or two in this post about how he's right that God won't forgive him, but mainly because he doesn't exist. Not to mention that he might not have been going to hell before, but shit if suicide is kind of a game changer in this whole voter tally on having a 1-way ticket to hell.

But this kind of thing really is tragic. This guy realized how fucked up and evil what he had done with and seen during his time with the military was, but he had no real framework or support structure that would allow him to cope with that and use the realization to try to undo some of the damage he had done. The only viable options to him was suicide.

And while I think it's entirely possible that whatever he did was so beyond the pale as to be totally incompatible with any present or near-future notions of humanity, that there was no real guarantee that every act would be something he could cope with, It does seem like a waste of a life.

What ever happened to the days when instead of killing themselves, ex-service men instead radicalized like what happened during Vietnam. That's the real loss here. That someone who witnessed the horrors that not only is man capable of, but what America is fully able and willing to do.

Though maybe I shouldn't be surprised by all this. I mean, did you know that Troop is Russian for corpse. Take a moment to think about that one. But perhaps this one instance (of many more) with someone committing suicide because of the actions that our country had them carry out. Think about all this the next time you suggest that you support your troops.

Friday, August 19, 2011

5 Foot 9 - Does Not Have A Posse

5 Foot 9 - Does Not Have A Posse

Where his dogs at, yo? I mean, I read all over the place that he has a posse. Where were those homies when he got his punk ass beat? Man, I guess those folks weren't Obeying anything cause Shepard Fairey was beaten up.

Shepard Fairey's widely acclaimed "Hope" poster in support of Barack Obama's 2008 presidential campaign has gained him international renown, but an apparent misunderstanding recently caused Danish leftists to view him as a pro-government propagandist. Now Fairey and a colleague are recovering from a beating by two men who accosted him outside a Copenhagen nightclub last Saturday, accused him of being an "Obama illuminati," and told him to "go back to America."

"I have a black eye and a bruised rib," Fairey told the Guardian.

Fairey explained that the attack was sparked by confusion over a mural he painted to commemorate the controversial 2007 demolition of a youth house that had been used as a base by Copenhagen's left-wing community. The painting, on a building adjoining the still-vacant site, depicts a dove and the word "peace."

According to Fairey, the mural was commissioned by a Copenhagen art gallery that is holding an exhibit of his work, but Danish media falsely reported that it was done for the city council. As a result, Danish activists believed it was being used to paper over continuing conflict between them and the political establishment, and it was quickly vandalized with graffiti reading "no peace" and "go home, Yankee hipster."

Aww, look at his work.

Peace, my Danish friends, peace even though the government tears down your community hall. Peace.
*Touches your lips softly with a single paint-stained finger*

I know I just did a piece about Art in the Street last week, but god damn is Shepard Fairey a shithead. That whole piece looks like some Christian newsletter clip art. He probably got it off some bulk pack Easter cards or something.

I can't make it out via the image size, but I'm guessing that the little circle above the PEACE letters in the mural is the same symbol he uses to advertise his fashion line and poster sales. Ha! Thanks for the free billboard space, Denmark.

May I advocate to beat Shepard Fairey every day? Before you get all angry at me, just ask yourself if this isn't that guy who plagiarized a bunch of communist propaganda and claimed it as his own art And the answer is simple:

Yes, yes he was.

Though I guess it's silly for anyone to get worked up about artist "copying" each other in this modern 2011 age. But I have to say, Sheperd is a capitalist piece of shit. He uses the images to simply have something to stick his logo on and sell, that's the extent of his contribution aside from a different color scheme.

This image is so perfect though. It's also directly across from a place the serves 12 dollar organic hamburgers. So.. yeah, way to preach to those who would start the revolution. Besides that, a daisy in the barrel does not in any way prevent a gun from firing. Perhaps the first round's accuracy will be slightly affected, but it's only significant at long range and the second is still going right where you aimed it.

Make sure to note that I didn't just steal this image from anywhere, but I got it from the acclaimed Pinoy Humor Blog. Great jobs guys. You know what isn't funny? Shepherding Faeries. That seems like it'll be fairly more difficult than herding cats.

But I've heard Shepard say how Obey was this bold in your face statement of authority that made people think. Yeeeaaahh. He's very stupid and also very rich. Much like the client that he seems to cater to. I mean, it's not in front of every Urban Outfitters that you see his work, now is it?

Guess someone wasn't Obeying shit indeed. And this notion of people seeing his work and then questioning authority? Really now, how much more bullshit can be spewed out?

I an picture it now with a little capitalist boy looking at a sticker and thinking to themselves "Oh wow... Obey? Why is this poster telling me to obey? Wait! What if there is a hidden message. Maybe he is telling me to not obey? I can decide NOT to obey?! Oh man, that's so crazy!"

At which point this little capitalist turns to a hard core communist. This is really just a mild expression and only used because street art is seen as an illegitimate "low art", while more bourgeois forms of cultural appropriation go completely criticized

Just look at the below piece that was later vandalized because Shepard is Shepard.


That twisted cock is god damn hilarious. Nice little jab at Shepard. So you see, it's not only the Danish who think he's a piece of shit. But hey, if only you could see more of what was under there before Shepard covered it.

The image above that originally was there was so much better. But I guess some steaming heap of photoshopped lifted communist poster art is better for property values from a highly praised Andre the Giant fan.

In general I dislike him for being a no-talent hack that's made a lot of cash entirely through the thinnest of pseudo-leftist veneers, not inspired by or sampled from propaganda works, but entirely lifting pieces that in all those instances were created and given to the public sphere to promote a political viewpoint which he obviously barely cared to educate himself in, much less make any kind of additional comment about with the soap box of his work besides filing for copyrights on it and marking as completely his own.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

A Little Doctor For You

A Little Doctor For You

Doctor Who comes back in a few weeks, but I'm pretty sure you're still jonesing for some Doctor Who-ness.

In any event, this is one for any of you who didn't catch it before the season started. It's a mini-sode that was for charity and was entertaining. Enjoy

Now I can't wait for Let's Kill Hitler!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Rubber Ducky I'm Fond of You : No Homo Tho

Rubber Ducky I'm Fond of You : No Homo Tho

So who here just assumed that Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street were gay? Oh wait, this comes as a surprise? To who?!

It seems that people wanted the streets of Sesame Street to legalize and observe the rights of same sex couples to being married. The only problem is that Bert and Ernie are not gay as Sesame Street producers creators came out to say
Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves.

Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.

Why can't a muppet represent some sort of same sex lesson? Know why? Cause Bert and Ernie weren't invented to be gay. They teach kids that you can be friends with someone who isn't like you. In fact, you can remain friends even though Ernie constantly acts like an asshole pulling pranks of you and stealing your cookies, pizza and what not while also hogging up the bath time fun.

Just think of how long Ernie spends in the bathroom. And it's not a big apartment, as you can tell from them having to share a room. I doubt that there's a second bathroom in that small cramped space. Which really makes you wonder about the real estate area that Sesame Street. You have homeless green things living in garbage cans and two guys who can only afford a 1 bedroom apartment.

Anyhow, back to the sexual orientation of muppets. What caused Sesame Street to come out and state that these muppets only like hands up their ass and not cocks? Well, an online petition that called for Sesame Street to have them get gay married is what did it.

Though now that I think about it, saying "gay married" makes it sound even remotely different than straight married. The fact remains that the group wanted to raise awareness of the every growing gay marriage bans by having muppets teach kids about same sex couples getting married.

Further more, what does this really tell about our society. If I was a gay man I would sort of hate this since it implies that I'm not going to be truly happy till I'm married. Think of how depressing that would be. It's the mentality that you aren't really happy unless you're in a committed relationship and we all know that doesn't breed a healthy relationship anywhere.

In any case, here's some excerpts from the fan reactions and push to have them married on screen:

Michelle Ashton Ryan: It would be so awesome if bert and ernie got married. im 16 and i would totally start watching sesame street again if they did. :)

Roxanne Vincent: "whats next ??? 2 lesbian muppets??? 4 GOD SAKES!

Samantha Pollack: I am 24 now and I grew up with Bert and Ernie Big Bird and all of that. Even growing up i knew that Bert and Ernie were a couple not brothers. I think that the marriage has been a long time coming. Yes marriage is the next step in a honest and respectable relationship.

Raymond Swinney II: Ok...let's think about this logically. Should the wedding take place, are the two characters going to begin showing public display of affection which they've never done before? The "wedding" would happen in one episode, and then what? The characters would have to be completely re-written, as it were.

It does seem rather silly to have them get married. Let's be pretty honest about that. Especially now that they aren't gay anymore. No wait, they never were gay. It's just us projecting what is straight or gay sort of behavior. We really should be ashamed of ourselves. They're muppets for goodness sakes! Shouldn't we have better things to worry about?

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Blackhawk Down - No Take Backs

Blackhawk Down - No Take Backs

It looks like Pakistan gave China a little gift...
Pakistan let Chinese military engineers photograph and take samples from the US helicopter that was left behind when American special forces killed Osama bin Laden, it has been reported.

If true, the claim would underline the deterioration in US-Pakistani relations since the raid in May in Abbottabad, outside Islamabad in which the al-Qaida leader died.

Members of the Chinese military were allowed to survey the wreckage of the hi-tech helicopter and take samples of its "stealth" skin, which allowed it to enter Pakistan undetected by radar, the Financial Times reported, quoting US sources.

It quoted a figure close to the CIA as saying: "We had explicitly asked the Pakistanis in the immediate aftermath of the raid not to let anyone have access to the damaged remains of the helicopter."

The US fears that cutting-edge military technology in the tail of the helicopter, abandoned after US forces blew up the rest of the craft, could be reverse-engineered in China.
This shit is just funny to me. It's really pretty clear that the Chinese are just waiting for the eventual collapse of America. Once that officially happens they'll open a museum of our most spectacular failures. This will go in the hall of "Expensive shit that fell out of the sky in a burst of hilarious incompetence" right next to the F-117 that the Serbians shot down.

I bet you're wondering what ever happened to that thing and who recovered it. Well, the Serbs did. And then they might have invited the Russians to have a look. It also did help the Chinese produce the J-20.

Anyhow, would you look at the balls on Pakistan? They're so fucking funny in how they played the United States like a fiddle for the last few decades while somehow maintaining that terrorist state that they are. Especially in how it supported Al Qaeda, wanted to blow up the labor poor of the first world (India), supports terrorist in Iraq and Afghanistan, regularly insults the United States and has poorly kept nukes. All this while making sure that it has the United States and the first world eating out of its hands.

They seriously don't give a shit about their image to the rest of the world and fully embrace being that asshole state. Unlike China, which for some reason still wants to maintain that image that they aren't going to destroy America with a simple crushing blow.

This is exactly like that movie Red Dawn, only instead of Russians it will be the Chinese.. Which oddly enough was going to be the villains of the remake but that changed...
In March 2011, the Los Angeles Times reported that MGM is changing the villains in its Red Dawn remake from Chinese to North Korean in order to maintain access to China's lucrative box office. The changes reportedly cost less than $1 million and involve changing an opening sequence summarizing the story's fictional backdrop, re-editing two scenes and using digital technology to transform many Chinese symbols to Korean.

Many people are not happy about the change of the invading country and this review points out why
You would think that the Chinese would be pleased to see a depiction of their longtime goal of conquering California and establishing an Eastern Empire would be something they would love to see on television.

It could be their form of ID4 or any other inspirational summer block buster film that highlights America as the kick ass country that doesn't take names nor shit from any alien, robotic or asteroid threat.

But hey, the changed it up from Chinese to North Korea in that video game "Homefront", so maybe they don't want to even put it in the minds of people that China will completely destroy us with now invisible helicopters. Ironically enough that we used to kill Osama with.

Maybe China has just gotten so fucking good at stealing technology. Or maybe this is deeper than you think. Perhaps the U.S. left the helicopter there on purpose so that China would copy it and then we could buy it from them for a cheaper price than it takes to make one.

We might as well just accept the fact that we're NOT going to keep many secrets from a country where "Hack google and steal their algorithms" is a trade-school term project. The only thing I don't get is that "Stealing" technology makes perfect sense as a development strategy, but then why would you turn around and build the same stupid things with it? It's not like they saw anything they couldn't just buy from Israel anyway.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Corporations Are People Too

Corporations Are People Too

Hey, did you hear? Corporations are people -

Ha! The crowd laughs at him. Man, that's sweet. I'd also laugh at Mitt Romney as well.

But you hear that shit? Corporations... Human beings, my friend. That shit is just crazy. Obama would never consider humans equal to corporations. So hey, both Mitt Romney and Nobel Peace Prize winner Barack H. Obama believe the thing Mitt Romney said in the video. But only Romney was stupid enough to say it out loud and so openly.

Did you know that in the late 19th century corporations got more benefit from the changes in legal definitions of person hood than freed slaves did? Fucking America. I just need to learn how to turn myself into a corporation. Maybe if I'm bitten by a corporation on a full moon, maybe then I will turn into one.

This may sound like a joke but I'm guessing that the government of the united states of America will probably recognize a marriage between a man and a corporation before one between man and man. But hey, who agrees with him on this issue?

Welp, I guess I could have guessed that one.
KEYES: Governor, are corporations people?

PALIN: The people pay the taxes. It’s not an entity — the corporation itself — that pays the taxes. It’s the people who pay the taxes. So Mitt Romney was right.
But hey, why should that stop you from voting for Romney. I mean, he's a friend of the animals, right?
The incident: dog excrement found on the roof and windows of the Romney station wagon. How it got there: Romney strapped a dog carrier — with the family dog Seamus, an Irish Setter, in it — to the roof of the family station wagon for a twelve hour drive from Boston to Ontario, which the family apparently completed, despite Seamus's rather visceral protest.

It all becomes clear now. Mitt is the driver and we're the terrified, compulsively shitting and pissing Irish setter strapped unthinkingly to the roof of this car we call America. But hey, it's at least nice that someone takes responsibility for their actions in the political setting..
Tea Party Rep: Bank Should Have Known I Wouldn't Be Able To Repay $2.2 Million Loan
Jillian Rayfield | August 11, 2011, 10:01AM

Tea Party aligned Georgia Rep. Tom Graves ®, who castigates Washington for fiscal irresponsibility, reached an out of court settlement Wednesday after he was sued for defaulting on a $2.2 million loan -- which his attorney argued is the bank's fault for lending him the money in the first place.

Ha! Fuck this stupid country. It deserves all the bad shit that will ever happen to it.