Friday, February 14, 2020

IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY - PLEASE DON'T GO OUT TO EAT

IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY - PLEASE DON'T GO OUT TO EAT


This is my annual attempt to make you realize that the last thing you should ever possibly do on Valentine's day is go out to eat. It's stupid. It's expensive and it doesn't even lead to a good dining experience.

First off, every place is going to hike up their prices because this is the night all the couples come out to show they care. So every spot you think you can get in to will have a long reservation system. Or at the very least a long stand-by wait to get in to. You really don't want to put yourself in the position of that, do you? Waiting 45 to an hour and a half to sit down and eat. Nah, man.

Then when you do sit down and eat, the menu is completely different than any normal night that you would have gone to this establishment. They do this because they want to generate a shit ton more money off you rubes on this day of forced affection. Pre-fixed menus are every where. You can't escape it. A solid three times the cost for a chicken option and two other plates you really didn't want. They also do this because it's far easier to flip a table and have some ease on the chefs in the back.

The staff is also not happy. The amount of table turnover is just too intense. The level of expectation in terms of service is way too high for those who on average do not go out. So their eating out manners are a little rusty. The whole concept of tipping is foreign to those, or at the very least outdated. So those waitstaff through the night just see how low the average person is tipping and just slowly get more annoyed as the night goes on and more annoying customers come in.

To say the least, your service is not going to be great because of a whole slew of factors. It's really not the best time to go out and eat, is what I'm saying. Places offer up the worst in terms of service, food, and experience as a whole. You are better off just skipping the eating out and do what I would highly suggest.

Make it low key. Or shit, even cook for yourself. Something you made, even if you can't cook for shit, is still a whole lot more effort than going out. Your significant other should appreciate that shit at the very least or you're with the wrong person. Make it a mac and cheese and cheesy movie night. Get some tacos. Everyone loves tacos. If you don't love tacos, you should question if you deserve love at all. Not liking tacos is just a strange thing that I can't support. No thank you. Love tacos.

Yeah, I'm sure I could make a crude joke right here, but you best be loving tacos at least today. Come on, man. Don't be that guy who doesn't "eat out". Wait, where is this conversation going? I don't know Eat out... but DON'T eat out on Valentine's day, is what I'm saying. And if you're the piece of shit who doesn't normally eat out other nights of the week, what the fuck. I feel sorry for your girlfriend/wife/whatever she be.

Okay. I have spoken my peace. 


Monday, February 10, 2020

THE GOOD PLACE

THE GOOD PLACE

This NBC show had a lot of stuff that spoke to me. Well, I don't believe in heaven or hell. I'm not religious, so, ya know, this isn't really some sort of fear of damnation. But it spoke to me in a "Hell is other people" sort of way. Most of all, it went into detail that if you boil it down, we all do some unethical shit without ever realizing it.

That salad you are eating because you feel that it is saving some animal's life... well, what cost is it at or how ethical are you when you realize that the lettuce in it comes at the cost of child labor or poor working conditions for farm workers. How much water is going into growing that to make such large amount of produce that is taking clean drinking water away from someone else?  What about the fact that the amount of work to grow it comes at the cost of pesticides or water run off that hurts others.

It really brought to light that the goals of getting to "the good place" really have a scaled tipped against you at all cost. That you can just do your best at being a good person as you can and live in the moment because, well, who the hell knows what an after life could be. It may very well be that the Good Place is straight up the Bad Place tricking you into it.

On top of that, it shared my mentality of soul mates. In which that they don't exist. Or if they do exist, it isn't something that you just flat out have a soul mate out there that you have to stumble upon. To me, that was always the worse possible thing you could ever put out there as a concept.Given how large and vast this world is, the odds of finding said soulmate just seems so...  bleak.

Soulmates aren't found. That's what the biggest take away is. They're made. You basically just have to realize that there's not one soulmate out there for you. Soulmates aren't found at all, they're made. People meet. They get a good feeling. They enjoy the time they spend together and most of all they work at being together. Because ultimately that's what it comes down to. They don't magically stay together because they were meant to be. They stay together and what binds them together is the work building a relationship with one another.

Some times people forget that they love each other because the world around them is so chaotic. Sometimes life just zaps the hell out of you and you can't give what you need. But what it is to be soulmates is doing the work and understanding and working towards that better life together.

And even though you can spend forever with them, eventually you are ready to move on to whatever the next step is. I love that the show didn't tell us what happens when the characters stepped into the portal and became fabric of the universe. You don't get to see the answers to that. You just have to live in the moment that you can and do what little you can to appreciate what you have.

Also, the best lesson to The Good Place was that Froyo is the best way to exemplify the bad place it's taking something great and ruining it just a little so you can have more of it. No one likes froyo. Fuck that shit. Give me ice cream any day. Ice cream is pure heaven. Frozen yogurt is just everything bad in the world when it comes to compromise. 



Thursday, February 6, 2020

NEW YEAR, SAME HATE FOR BOSTON

NEW YEAR , SAME HATE FOR BOSTON

The super bowl aired a couple of days ago and I'm writing this before hand because hey, that's how I roll sometimes. So, like, you know, the typical talking out of my ass for the most part of what happened with the actual game until I write about that 49 vs racist mascot.. oh shit, it's literally miners vs native Americans! I mean, I'll probably post other shit about the game because that's always how it was when I did the topical discussion about the Super Bowl.

Ok, I'm just being jaded right now. I'm sure it was a half way decent game that no Monday morning quarterbacking will be done for... right. But hey, the advertising. That's what people watch this stuff for, right? And part of the ads were for a self parking.... PAHKIN CAWR!



HEY, I'M WALLLLLKIN' HERE!   Yeah, it's not a big secret at all if you've read any of the backlog of posts, that I do not have love for Boston or Bostonians. It was just recently discovered that the Boston Red Sox's win at the World Series against the Dodgers came from deceitful methods and should have a huge astrix.

I guess I don't give the city much of a shot because it constantly has the feeling that everyone wants to beat the shit out of you. I find the stereotype of the average Boston person to really fall in line. And while I have known and gotten along with a lot of Boston natives, it's really something that I have to try to overcome because, man. forget about it!

Okay. This ad. Is this were technology has come to? You can't even parking your own car anymore. More to the point, unless the person next to you has the same technology, you just became the asshole who will get their car's door dented to the fucking hell because if there wasn't enough room for you to fit in the spot, you shouldn't fucking be parking there. How the fuck do you think the guy next to you is going to get in their car?  Yeah, they may have parked like a piece of shit and left you no room to park, but that's the nature of the whole game. Learn to know when to hold them and know when to fold them.

While I think that the technology to better improve parking and driving as a whole is great, this just seems like unless all the boats have risen to the same level, you can't be on that parch and you're going to be dragged down by the eldest car there anyway. Because that's how shit rolls. Learn to roll with it or your fucking jammed in car will just get keyed up to hell. Especially with pieces of shit Boston residents.

Seriously, fuck that place.  Also, in the effort to be partial, fuck new yorkers as well.  I don't just dislike the Boston superiority complex, I also hate that New York, center of the universe and modern day Rome bullshit mentality.

There. I said it. I won't take it back. Get your ass back to Dunkin Donuts for a Crawhla and a cuppa cawffeeeeee. You fuckin' Mooley! 


Tuesday, February 4, 2020

GOOGLE PLAYING DIRTY POOL

GOOGLE PLAYING DIRTY POOL 

The superbowl was filled with ads touching nostalgic corners of your childhood or past things that entertained you. And in years past that was the goal.  You really don't want to go for the big ticket serious topics when your audience is pretty much hammered to fucking hell and stuffed full of guac and wings.

That's the biggest reason why the Nationwide ad a couple of years ago was way too fucking heavy for the time frame of the viewing audience flew over like a led balloon. Don't believe me? Just you watch!


Fuck. that was a record scratching sort of fucking reality check. Did you put down your hard seltzer and check to see that you didn't leave your kid to drown in the tub? I mean, holy fuck. That was dark. Way too dark. So dark that Nationwide had to file an apology later that night after it aired. It was that much of a mind fuck. I guess the general rule after that was perhaps don't make shit that's way too dark for some mass consumption of national football day's ads.

Well, this past weekend you had something pretty hard coming at your feels and well, damn. Man. You see, then Google decided to turn up the amp and tell Nationwide to hold their beer. Because fuck, this one hit hard.


It's like Google hit up Pixar and said, hmmm we stealing that concept of putting a whole life of two loving people into an ad instead of a 10 minute cry fest and fuck you and your emotions, YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE IT!

That was a take no prisoner to your emotions and I don't know how to feel about that other than it's put me in a box of my emotions. Listen, it touched me. I had this whole history of these two people who loved each other very much until one died and then the other is slowly losing their mind to something that is very relatable to most folks and man, you're just like... please google, save me. Even though we already seen that you don't need to tell a fucking computer about your past when you could just write it in a notebook.

GOOGLE, REMIND ME THAT I NEED TO WATCH THE NOTEBOOK AGAIN.

But yeah, that was UP ramped up to a new level of fuck your emotions and I guess that's where the difference stands. The nation wide ad was just a big fuck you with the reveal that the kid wasn't able to do all this and that because he didn't have the chance to... SURPRISE! He's dead.  And this one was telling you through a whole history of these two lovers.

Either way, I'm going to be me and try to make light of it. Because, let's be real, this is the only way I handle emotions - through mocking them to the point where I don't feel them anymore. It's really a classic tool that I have to admit, is pretty much a staple in surviving. 

Think about it. I bet you Loretta would have probably used google reminder to tell him, whomever the character reminding himself of shit, that he should put the fucking toilet seat down. Or maybe that he needs to trim is goddamn ear hair. Because at some point, we all get ear hair and the moment you get it pointed out, you wonder how a fucking piece of hair has grown that much. 

Damn it, stop calling me Loretta, that was the name of your 3rd Ex-wife, Harold. I'm still alive. Why are you talking to the computer like I'm dead?!

Google, remind me that the nurses are beating me and that's where the bruises come from... Okay, maybe that one was a bridge too far. But still, did you expect anything different from me? This is the material here!

Fuck, okay, let's just face the facts. That ad was fucking deep and I don't know what to tell you other than perhaps we deserved that half time show of visual enjoyment to wash away the fact that Loretta is goddamn dead and this guy is slowly losing his memories he shared with this woman and man, that's fucking deep in a way that I can't explain.

I mean, when you think about it, you're not ever really truly gone until the last to remember you finally goes themselves. You can leave little things behind, but it's not going to be the first hand understanding of who you are. So for the guy to be alive and losing his memories and being able to document that stuff is nice. But man, just think of how hard those memories hurt when the computer's robotic voice brings it up - Hey Harold, remember that you had a loving wife that you no longer have.  But hey, perhaps you should take your penicillin to fight that STD you got at the senior center bingo after hours party.

What I'm trying to say is that old people have a lot of fucking sex. A LOT! I mean, goddamn, you don't want to picture it in your mind, but realize that me'ma is slapping skin a lot at the senior center and she's enjoying it. Shit, she's getting it far more than you are and on the regular without any strings or other bullshit to hold her back in that whole playing game.

Wow, did this just turn into a discussion about old people fucking? Man. What the fuck is wrong with me. This was suppose to be a wholesome discussion about a sentimental ad on the super bowl. I guess that dirty DIRTY game really tainted me and the discussion of everything wholesome. Like the ability to tell Google memories of your dead wife in order for them to try to sell you some shit. Like, perhaps when you tell your computer about how you and Loretta would go to Home town buffet for that all you can eat bland chicken fingers, they'll just lump you into another group and sell off your precious memory moments to the highest bidder who wants to know who to sell chicken finger ranch sauce to, because oh man, you may want to spice up your chicken fingers.

Just remember, google wants to sell you shit Loretta would have told you to buy. In fact, that's probably their newest selling tactics.   "Reminder - Loretta would have wanted you to have some jimmy dean sausages. 

Monday, February 3, 2020

THAT SUPER BOOTY HALF TIME SHOW

THAT SUPER BOOTY HALF TIME SHOW

I mean, it's pretty much embraced that the half time show was a bit of a shocker to the average white middle aged American. Who would have thought that so many would take offense to such a great half time show?! Well, don't know of it? Here it is for your viewing pleasure.




I mean, I could see a lot of things that people would be offended by and none of them seem to be any over sexual content. At one point J.Lo wears a double sided flag coat. On one side there's the American flag, on the other side is the Puerto Rico flag. While this can be confused with the Texas flag since it has one star, the point here is that America constantly hates to be reminded that Puerto Rico is, in fact, part of the U.S.  I mean, who really wants to own up to being their big brother? They constantly get hit by natural disasters such as hurricanes, rampant corruption, flooding, power outages and a slew of Earth Quakes.

We can't keep up with admitting how much maintenance it requires and our Leaders like Trump constantly just ignores their needs. Ask the average American and they'd be confused to learn that Puerto Rico is ours. We'll take the good, like Lin-Manuel Miranda and his subject, Alexander Hamilton, but we just flat out don't want to acknowledge that Puerto Rico is part of America and we should embrace them and help them with whatever we can.

Then you have the singers singing in.... well, to put it bluntly, not-English. In a country that was made up of Native American tongues as well as a slew of immigrants who brought their own culture and languages into the mix, we are a melting pot. The average American just hates that fact as well and this unreasonable demand that everyone speak English is such a strange thing.

But to have two singers who change it up from English to Spanish in what is "America's" game of football half time show, well, I'm pretty sure that's what really caused the sort of reaction that these two female - and shit, that's a can of worms in itself I'll get to next, are singing in a language that they've argued with so many people after church that we should all know and speak English and only English. to have the half time entertainment mix up the language a little in what is their own languages, well, that shit will just annoy the average red voting viewer.

And now the biggest thing. Hating on women. The loud talk that is straight up nothing short of slut shaming this performance, even though last year had Maroon 5's lame fest be completely shirtless with a bunch of tattoos and shit like that, just goes to highlight the double standards up in here.

I thought the performance was fierce as all hell. It has been a while since I talked about or enjoyed Shakira's music, but that was one hell of a performance. Add to that, you're in fucking Miami. I mean, if you want people to cover up, let the game happen in a cold winter state. But no, the league likes to host these things in the summer climate sort of situations. Miami is a place that has a lot of languages and a lot less clothing going on.

Just because the singer isn't wearing much or goes through a lot of wardrobe changes - I didn't think any of them were showing too much. Not to mention that these singers aren't the most over flowing. Their assets seem to be more with... um, well, their popular features are their asses. There. I said it. On top of that Shakira's biggest "thing" was that she moved those hips. And while both were pointed out on their age.... and can we just say that WHO FUCKING CARES HOW OLD THEY ARE!??!

Holy shit, I'm going to go off a little, but what the fuck was the point of saying that J.Lo's age of 50 is such a big fucking deal. She is paid millions to work out and work on those moves and keep that brand alive. Of course she's going to be vastly different of a place at age 50 than your average house hold mother of 3 in middle America who is also 50. Let's also just say it, age seems to be brought up mostly for women just to show that unlike others of their gender, that once they reach a certain age, they weren't dismissed for possibly being good at being seen or their worth isn't based on a fictitious expiration date.

That they, even at the age of 43 and 50, can still have something of objectification to offer the viewing public while they drink down their bud and eat chicken wings. Ultimately, I think the fact that it was two female performers in itself was a major issue.

I loved the fact that the performers were 70% women. I mean, the chest showing male dancers and Ali G looking rapper make up the rest of that, but even to have girl dancers of a younger age up there showed that the future is indeed female and even though there's such a backlash to female empowerment, that there was such a large showing of female performers displaying the fact that they have some serious dance moves and can put on a show that was far better than the ones of the previous years easily.

We can also touch on the fact that J.Lo did a lot of political statements without being too in your face with them. The kids starting off in these sort of white cage things to highlight the fact that our country is still leaving children in cages. The political realization that yeah, Puerto Ricans are fucking American citizens and born in the U.S.A. is some straight up stuff we need to get right with in terms of how we treat their post-tragic events with. 

Also, for the most "freedom" loving Americans, we're sure as shit stuck up when it comes to the human body. That's a whole discussion for another day, I guess, but let's just accept that gyrating hips, unconventional tops and bottoms and a more Florida/South tropical attire is far different than what the average fly over state resident will wear. Just get over it. No nipples popped out. Nothing under the belt was shown. Even in a pole dance, it was a lot of class all around.

In fact, let's talk about that. Pole dancing in itself is a tough as fuck sport, and while yes, women in strip clubs use the pole, it does not mean that pole dancing is something only for women who choose to make their living in that field. Shakira's belly dancing moves, again, another thing middle America just associate with sexuality, is something she has always done in her career and while folks attach it to some sort of sexualized aspect, it is a heritage thing and cultural awareness should be shown on it.

But more to the point, and I'll just be blunt here, the fact that these two showed that women past the age of 30, who don't have an abundance of cleavage as the first thing your attention isn't drawn to aren't something tossed away by society because, holy fuck, these two women did a huge amount of work on stage and brought it in ways not even most people half their age or more could have possibly done.

Besides, It's just a little butt shaking. Deal with it.

Thursday, January 30, 2020

WITHOUT A WITNESS

WITHOUT A WITNESS 

So I don't want to talk too much politics this year, but then again, it's a fucking election year so good fucking luck with this bullshit. Now one of the potential swing republican votes to go for witnesses has said he'd vote NO to having any witnesses come into the impeachment trial. In fact, he admitted the Democrats proved Trump is guilty. but he wants to leave it to voters. So, he believes Trump attempted to extort a favor to benefit his own political campaign, and he doesn't care. He wants Trump to be on the ballot and it's okay if he does cheat.

That's what just happened. I can't help but be crushed. Him saying that there is "no need" for witnesses on this and new evidence into the trial and damn. I mean... damn

And of course, now that Lamar Alexander has said he would vote no, Susan Collins can have the courage to the same. Republicans are always watchful for a consensus to do bad things because none have the balls to do the right thing. But Lamar sides with Trump being guilty of avoiding the politics of removing a president... which, what the hell, is the checks in this whole checks and balances. You can't have it any other way besides that.


Which is really the biggest aspect of this.  He flat out said he knows Trump is guilty. He doesn't care. He, just like Susan Collins decided that they don't have the fortitude to remove someone who believes they are above the law. And this just proves that he is. Leaving it to the voters is not the 

Which, I will just have to bring up the biggest question I have still - Why the fuck do we still rely on Susan Collins for key decisions in our country? He goddamn state literally only consists of Stephen King, a dozen lobsters, and possible a bear. She's just as bad as all the other fucking Russi....an...uh, republicans.  There is literally nothing she is useful for and I'm tired of constantly being disappointed by her in attempts to make this country a better place. 

But what this shows is that more than ever, the laws that governor us are written for the poor and common people. The rich and the untouchable will always avoid the repercussions of their own actions and choices. They will continue to get richer and more powerful off the backs of the common folk and it's just sad that we're all a joke to them.

More than ever we need to show up in November and put an end to this falsehood that is the Trump administration's attempt to be for the common people. If our elected officials won't stand up and be the voice for us, then we need to vote them out as well. This isn't a test of an impeachment of the President. This is a test and a sign of what our representatives are. 

I get the poor farmer who economic situations have passed them by being fooled by Trump's words to make America the place they remember in which they had economic prosperity. But it's a fools gambit to believe that he ever had anyone else's interest at heart other than his own. This situation in itself showed that he wanted to enrich himself in a deal, not the American people. And that's what it comes down to. 

So here we are. After two weeks of political theater and repetition of the same message, there's not even an attempt to listen to witnesses or get details from those who were close to him when he decided to hold help hostage for his own benefit. 

All I can say about this situation is.... 


FUCK!
  

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE 

On the last Tuesday of January lands the national day like most other national days randomly scattered along the calendar year. But today's National Day is National Plan a Vacation day. Honestly, I fucking need it.

The other day I got a letter for the Estate of my ex's mom and it sort of hit me. I mean, it's just a collections attempt and I'm used to seeing this sort of that stuff because I had to deal with it when my own father passed away a little more than six years ago and for the years that followed. It was frustrating and most of all, I was confused more so that they'd send it to me when my ex basically made sure all her mail was sent to her new place. Anyhow, I guess collections will just try to reach out to where ever could potentially be a relative.

Okay, enough of that. Just an example of what sort of shit I have been going through. On top of somehow getting a bit more emotional this year about my father's death anniversary, things have just been a bit heavy lately and I have been thinking about the weekend... or those attempts to escape the daily grind - which, I guess is funny for me since my daily grind isn't the average daily grind, so to speak.

But I need to get out. My father traveled a lot. Sometimes it would be fake business travel to places with a mistress, some times it was with my mother to far off places, especially around the next few months time period. Always traveling around my birthday, skipping it. But I have been thinking about it. I haven't done my fair amount of traveling to my liking. I talked a big game and sure, I went to a lot of places the last few years like Colorado and Florida. Most for official business or on the job sort of thing. I miss the open road. I miss the adventure.

I recently took a trip to San Diego for a day and went to places I hadn't gone to when I used to go there every month or so, back in the day. And it was fun. It was a great experience to discover new sights and to just breath in something new even if it was close by. Got to see Frank Baum's house and the Hotel Del Coronado. Which, fun fact, was the inspiration for the Emerald City. Seeing it in person, I can tell you that it did not disappoint. The fixtures, the entire building filled with wood carved everything. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

Anyhow, National Plan for a vacation is more than just some window dressing. Think about it. If you were to die tomorrow would your work give two shits about it? Do you even think that it would have a moment of silence for you? More than likely not. Shit will just move on like another day. Replace your ass in a couple of days as it takes to get background checks and applications submitted. So why give them your hard work, your time and commitment without taking care of your needs first? If you have sick days, use them. If you have time off. Use it. We are too stuck in this rat race to be seen as useful and half the time you're so not appreciated for the person who you are or the work you do. So you really shouldn't give them more than they require.

Take that day of. Schedule some time off and use it for yourself. You only live once and it's only one life to live. You may as well fill it with as many adventures and memories that you can possibly fill in your mind because you don't know what will happen tomorrow.

I'm writing this... after a long time of not writing, because I need to remind myself that the responsibilities that I take, that I'm still here for me and the life I live with be what I owe to myself. So yeah, this year will have a lot more adventures. Will have a lot more follow through to what I will do. I need to hold myself to account and I need to live for me.

So this year I will make it to New York for spring or summer. Shoot to go before it gets too hot and I will goddamn make it a trip filled with delis and Broadway shows and just experiencing things. Because hey, why the fuck not. 

I have a choice to make on making it to this trip to Cuba, but man, I'm heavily leaning towards doing it. Because when else will I do it? When else will I have the chance?  I also want to do Florida and perhaps, even maybe... do Paris. I need to check that off my list. Who knows what the rest of the year has in store for me, but that's some thing I look forward to. I need to go back up to S.F. this year because I owe it to myself to see what I haven't in a long time. And Vegas is a spot, which I don't think it's too crazy, nor is it a big trip. but I need to make it to see the Tim Burton exhibit and I need to go since the last time I went was with my ex and that wasn't the most fun experience and has some bad memories behind it since she had just lost her job and even though I didn't know it, it was the start of her decline into basically moving away from the relationship. Oh well, I still love Vegas. I want to do it right and I'm long over due for a trip that is about having fun and not about putting the needs of others before my own.

basically, that's what this is. Me holding myself to the mark and doing things for myself. For doing trips for myself. Anthony Bourdain, another man I admired and who's death hit me hard, he didn't start his life traveling till he was 43. So now that I'm in this golden years where I'm basically retired of basically doing much other than finding my own passion, It's time for me to fulfill that whole aspect where folks would tell me that I reminded them of Bourdain. I need to travel. To see the world and what it has to offer, what other cultures have to show me about themselves and show me about myself.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the year. I'll make it the best goddamn time and travel that I can possible handle.