Today is Halloween. The only problem is that Halloween already ended this past weekend. How does that make sense? Well, it's because Halloween is on a fucking Monday of all days this year. Which is to say that the best of it has already past it by and the only thing remaining is the corpse of the Holiday.
You would think that three day holidays would make this Halloween sort of epic. Or maybe it's just cause I'm in a foul mood to begin with as of late, but this Halloween is shaping up to be a big fat let down. Not even the 1st world problems problem of fear mongering parents into thinking their kids are going to be tricked into eating pot can cheer me up.
How much more is there to say about that? Why the fuck would any stoner in their drugged up mind even consider giving away product like that? How much does it cost per ounce? I mean, really. Who will want to give away their supply like that to ungrateful brats? Especially in this economy. It's just so god damn stupid I can't even believe anyone buys into it.
With Halloween only a few days away, The Narcotics Bureau of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department would like to remind the citizens of Los Angeles County of a health hazard that was discovered last year.
Parents, teachers, and physicians are warned to closely inspect children’s candy, soda, and snack items to ensure children do not accidentally ingest a concentrated drug.
In recent months, thousands of illicit edible products have been seized in the form of candies, cookies, cereal snacks, and bottled soda, all containing varying amounts of concentrated tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the main psychoactive substance found in the marijuana plant.
These items, packaged to resemble licensed commercial candy and snacks, are being produced locally in clandestine labs and residential kitchens. The items are packaged to be attractive to children and teens. Some items have no label to warn the consumer of their content, and many that are labeled do not contain a reasonable indication of drug content, recommended dosage, or instructions for use. Because their makers intend to remain anonymous, no contact information is listed.
No wait, we're Americans. I guess I can believe it. What the fuck, America. That's some stupid bullshit.
I'm sorry. I'm just not in the mood for anything. I can't even find joy in pointing out how awful "Sexy" Halloween costumes are this year even if they are pretty fucking ridiculous.
Nothing gets me to buy a drink for a lady faster than seeing you dressed up like some cuties childhood doll. Man, it takes me back to those days when I wanted to stick my penis into said plush play thing.. No wait, that's not at all the case.
See, what the fuck. They're so easy to mock but I'm just in no mood for it. I'm not feeling this holiday at all that I'm actually going to link you to a fucking CRACK DOT COM article to get your fill of openly mocking female Halloween costumes. HERE, take it already!
On a side note, what the fuck, who the hell wants to be a scrabble board and who in the right mind thinks it can be made sexy? Fuck, I need some pot brownies and fast. Look at this shit, I mean.. there's offensive and then there's just "Fuck you!"
In short, Happy Halloween.. I guess. Unless you're a female. In which case I'm so sorry for the patriarchy...