Thursday, March 31, 2011

Obama's War

Obama's War

Hope... that you could believe in. Man, do you remember that young senator who rode in on such a parade of the backs of the youthful vote planning to shake things up after eight years of incompetent leadership and a personal war campaign?

Cause the man I see in front of us, regardless of birth certificate or anything like that, seems like a completely different person than the one we elected. I mean, did you see Obama's speech addressing the anti-air bombardment of Libya? I was literally shocked that this was the same person who even used the word HOPE and CHANGE.

It has only taken him two weeks of concentrated bombing against a sovereign nation for him to go on TV and tell us why he gave the go-ahead to do such actions.

I'm wondering when Obama is going to invade other African nations with dictators? You know... that don't actually have any oil.

I mean, did he actually say this? I must be delusional on this aspect.
"Wherever people long to be free, they will find a friend in the United States."
You know, unless you're Chile, Vietnam, Indonesia... He's completely correct in saying that Libya's wealth belongs to its people.. you know, BP, Shell, Exxon and Gazprom. I kind of want to point out and ask how many civilians died in the past two weeks in Afghanistan over

I mean, hasn't he already promised to end those war..... oh wait, you mean the new wars. Told you it made sense. Obama didn't actually say anything about Afganistan during his campaign. In fact, it was all about withdrawing from Iraq and whatever else.

He kept on with campaign promises that he would get troops out of Iraq and put more troops in Afghanistan. That was literally one of his campaign promises. Throughout the entire election season, Obama's standpoint was that we needed to stop fucking around in Iraq and get back to fighting the Important war in Afghanistan...

What that important war is or the why to it? I still have no fucking idea. But he made absolutely no effort to hide that, either. He was quite open about his desire to expand the war in Afghanistan and we all still elected him.

I guess I can understand Barry's logic on this one. GWB won in 2004 after invading Iraq. So he'll be pushing that we're at war and you can't change horses midstream. Gotta steer the course, Heck of a job, Barry! Otherwise I have literally no idea what he could possibly run on during the 2012 campaign.
Obama 2012
He's not so bad!
I guess he could pull out the trump card that the Dems seem to run in 2006, 2008 and 2010. "I may not be great, but would you rather have a republican be in charge? That's what I thought!"

But so far the campaign promises Obama has kept are pretty simple:
-Escalating the "Good war"
-Get that puppy
Compare that to the list of promises he hasn't kept and all but dropped already or has completely let us down on stance for....
-Didn't immediately return the Nobel Peace Prize.
-Has otherwise given up closing Gitmo up.
-Has predator drones over pakistan
-Created and implemented a half assed HCR
-Financial "reform" is a complete joke
-Literally flipped the finger to the Gulf Coast by just letting BP and BHO slide on all this
-Doesn't give two shits about revolutions in the middle east.
-Extended the Bush tax cuts.. why? Why the fuck not, right?
-Is completely unable to stand up to Republicans.
But by now I don't expect anyone else to be mad at him. I figure that outrage fatigue has set in faster for him than it did for Bush. And to be honest, it's mostly because people were worn out by the end of Bush, they let themselves get the slightest thought that it might be different. Then watched that dream get crushed like a crippled Spartan infant about 3 months into the whole presidency.

Now they're saying that NATO is going to take up the majority of the work. Want to see some of NATO's style? Here's a short video short in the former Serbian Army Head Quarters in Belgrade, that was bombed in 1999 by the NATO.

Yup.. so NATO sure knows how to leave... toys behind.

In short, fuck this act of aggression. It's seriously stupid and it's just more proof as to why the American dream is completely dead.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The House On Haunted Heil

The House On Haunted Heil

So this was hitting the news cycle yesterday...
This unassuming house in a sleepy part of Swansea is set to become a global internet sensation... for bearing a passing resemblance to Nazi leader Adolf Hitler.

Its neat brown door brings to mind the fascist dictator's trademark toothbrush moustache.

And the slanting tiled roof falls at a similar angle to the leader's greased down, parted hairstyle.

Read more:


AN UNASSUMING semi-detached house in Swansea has become an internet sensation because it apparently looks like Adolf Hitler.

The house at Port Tennant Road off Swanseas busy Fabian Way has a slanted roof said to be reminiscent of Hitlers distinctive hairline.

And the top of the houses front door tends to remind people of the Nazi dictators trademark toothbrush moustache.

A picture of the khaki coloured house originally taken by a sharp eyed Twitter user named Charli Dickenson has swept through the world wide web.

Youth worker Charli, 22, who lives in St Thomas, Swansea, started the "house that looks like Hitler" craze when she posted a picture she took of the building on Twitter earlier this month.

She explained: "I was driving along Fabian Way with my boyfriend and we got stuck in traffic.

"I looked over and suddenly thought to myself: Oh my God that house looks like Hitler so I took a snap of it.

Read More


Charli Dickenson posted a Twitpic of the property, saying: 'I've found Hitler reincarnated.'

She certainly has a point. It has a sloped roof that looks like the Fuhrer's greased down side parting and a brown door that resembles his moustache.

The picture was subsequently re-tweeted by top comedian Jimmy Carr and the house is now well on the way to becoming a viral hit.

As far as we are aware it's the only house in the world that looks like a despot. However, if you spot any more, please do send in a picture of them.

Perhaps there's a bungalow that looks like Pol Pot or a flat that bears more than a passing resemblance to Idi Amin. Keep your eyes peeled.

Read more:


The lintel above the property's slim brown door echoes the toothbrush moustache of the evil dictator.

And the roof slopes at an angle like the fascist leader's greased down hair.

The house — divided into two flats — in Port Tennant, Swansea, South Wales, has become an internet hit after sharp-eyed Charli Dickenson spotted the resemblance and posted photos on her Twitter page.

Youth worker Charli, 22, said: "I walk past the house all the time - but I'd never noticed the Hitler likeness before.

"But then, at the weekend, I was in the car with my boyfriend and we were stuck in traffic - and I just said to him: 'That house looks like Hitler'.

"We both laughed about it. I took a picture and posted it on Twitter.


To be told that a house looks like Hitler is quite a different experience from seeing that it does. It sounds unlikely but, with its sideways sloping roof above a pair of upstairs windows and central front door, one little end-of-terrace house in Swansea looks like no one else. What are we to make of this?

Internet discussion groups have long known of cats that look like Hitler. It seems an all too common feline failing. At the same time, many things look like ducks – some rabbits, according to Wittgenstein, and, more recently, spilt beer, bits of bread, peanuts and houses too. A tiny shift in cosmic quantum resemblance parameters was all it took for houses to move from the duck end of things to the Hitler resemblance cluster. This does not rule out houses that look like more admirable people, even, as with dogs, like their owners. We should be

I don't know about you, but I don't think it looks very much like Hitler. It just looks like a really shitty house to me. But hey, internet sensation, right?

It's a good thing that evil Nazi can still entertain us from beyond the grave.. or his spring guest home in Argentina.

In other news you care even less about than this House bullshit... thousands died today of otherwise curable illnesses. Iraqi citizens are still under a imperialistic force and I'm close to turning 31..

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Of Taxes, GE and Big Business

Of Taxes, GE and Big Business

Would you look at that, April is around the corner and you know what that means... TAXES! Yes, it's time to pay Uncle Sam. Now, we weren't all created equally... at least not in the tax bracket department.

Take for example big business. In 2010 GE made a total of 14.2 billion dollars. If you were a gambling man, what would you say would be your guess as to how much GE paid in taxes for the year?

Whatever you said, you're wrong. You're dead fucking wrong.
General Electric, the nation’s largest corporation, had a very good year in 2010.

The company reported worldwide profits of $14.2 billion, and said $5.1 billion of the total came from its operations in the United States.

Its American tax bill? None. In fact, G.E. claimed a tax benefit of $3.2 billion.

That may be hard to fathom for the millions of American business owners and households now preparing their own returns, but low taxes are nothing new for G.E. The company has been cutting the percentage of its American profits paid to the Internal Revenue Service for years, resulting in a far lower rate than at most multinational companies.

Its extraordinary success is based on an aggressive strategy that mixes fierce lobbying for tax breaks and innovative accounting that enables it to concentrate its profits offshore. G.E.’s giant tax department, led by a bow-tied former Treasury official named John Samuels, is often referred to as the world’s best tax law firm. Indeed, the company’s slogan “Imagination at Work” fits this department well. The team includes former officials not just from the Treasury, but also from the I.R.S. and virtually all the tax-writing committees in Congress.

While General Electric is one of the most skilled at reducing its tax burden, many other companies have become better at this as well. Although the top corporate tax rate in the United States is 35 percent, one of the highest in the world, companies have been increasingly using a maze of shelters, tax credits and subsidies to pay far less.

In a regulatory filing just a week before the Japanese disaster put a spotlight on the company’s nuclear reactor business, G.E. reported that its tax burden was 7.4 percent of its American profits, about a third of the average reported by other American multinationals. Even those figures are overstated, because they include taxes that will be paid only if the company brings its overseas profits back to the United States. With those profits still offshore, G.E. is effectively getting money back.

Such strategies, as well as changes in tax laws that encouraged some businesses and professionals to file as individuals, have pushed down the corporate share of the nation’s tax receipts — from 30 percent of all federal revenue in the mid-1950s to 6.6 percent in 2009.

Yet many companies say the current level is so high it hobbles them in competing with foreign rivals. Even as the government faces a mounting budget deficit, the talk in Washington is about lower rates. President Obama has said he is considering an overhaul of the corporate tax system, with an eye to lowering the top rate, ending some tax subsidies and loopholes and generating the same amount of revenue. He has designated G.E.’s chief executive, Jeffrey R. Immelt, as his liaison to the business community and as the chairman of the President’s Council on Jobs and Competitiveness, and it is expected to discuss corporate taxes.

“He understands what it takes for America to compete in the global economy,” Mr. Obama said of Mr. Immelt
, on his appointment in January, after touring a G.E. factory in upstate New York that makes turbines and generators for sale around the world.

A review of company filings and Congressional records shows that one of the most striking advantages of General Electric is its ability to lobby for, win and take advantage of tax breaks.

Over the last decade, G.E. has spent tens of millions of dollars to push for changes in tax law, from more generous depreciation schedules on jet engines to “green energy” credits for its wind turbines. But the most lucrative of these measures allows G.E. to operate a vast leasing and lending business abroad with profits that face little foreign taxes and no American taxes as long as the money remains overseas.
Yup.. I'm not sure that most of you expected that. I wouldn't be surprised if at least one or two of you expected zero.. But I know sure as hell that no one expected it to be a negative number.

God damn, United States.. I say again, god fucking damn. Can we just give them all the money already and be done with it? I mean... it's just so fucking outrageous at this point. Even more of a slap to the face is that the White House defends embrace of G.E. CEO despite report company didn't owe taxes in 2010

Let's just burn civilization to the ground. We're not worthy of it anymore. Especially when they fucking want more of it...
Lawmakers have thus far been cool to the idea of a repatriation holiday. Passing one without reform "makes a farce out of the whole system," says Kent Conrad, a North Dakota Democrat on the Senate Finance Committee. Even corporate America isn't unanimous in its support. "A one-time repatriation of profits is a bad idea," says United Technologies (UTX) Chief Financial Officer Gregory J. Hayes. "My fear is that we'll have a repeat of 2004. If companies repatriate these profits and spend it on things like share buybacks, that will create such negative connotations around tax reform with the public."
Maybe if we give them even more tax breaks they'll send back some of those cushy phone support jobs that they sent to India. Though I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this. I mean, it is the same company that built a shrine for Reagan.

Who knows, maybe Tina Fey will make a joke about it. Nightly News on NBC sure as fuck didn't mention any of this. But maybe GE needs the money. Maybe it's better that it's in their hands. Just imagine if the money was still in our government's control...

Just think of how many patriot missiles they could have bought with that money... Oh wait, they're buying them anyway.

So what did GE have to say about all this tax breaks and any means to justify such an outrageous abuse of the tax laws? Well
GE posted a rebuttal to the whole matter.....

Yeah.. I guess by this point I can't even feign outrage about this anymore. Not to mention fuck all social democrats who think this kind of thing could ever be regulated.

The only real solution to the capitalist parasite involves a rope and a lamppost. Regulations just slows them down until they can pay someone enough to remove it all over again. Dragging them out to the street and hanging them leaves a warning sign to everyone who sees it.

I mean, let's just look across the ocean to a recently devastated land and how they react to similar situations. I mean, just look at how Japanese culture is utterly alien to our own.

Japanese corporations agree to forgo tax cuts, for good of their country
"I don't mind if the government skips cutting the corporate tax rate," Yonekura, who is also chairman of Sumitomo Chemical, told a regular briefing in Tokyo. "Instead I want the government to move swiftly in its recovery efforts."
My American mind is completely blown. If this happened in America it would only be in the form that Mega corporations would be demanding that taxes be temporarily abolished so they can invest in recovery efforts. Then a bill will be passed with overwhelming numbers in both the senate and the house.

Monday, March 28, 2011

It's The End Of The World as We Know It

It's The End Of The World as We Know It

Well what do you know, a date for the second coming has been set! I suggest you update your google calendars to May 21st, because that's when the world is going to end.

A special thanks goes out to my crazy grandpa for forwarding me this, the latest series of stupid fwd's I get from family members who I wish still didn't know how to use AOL.
JUDGMENT DAY: MAY 21st, 2011

We know that the year 2011 is the 7000th year from the flood. We also know that God will destroy this world in that year. But when in 2011 will this occur?
The answer is amazing. Let’s take another look at the flood account in the book of Genesis:
Genesis 7:11 In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.
Faithful to His Word, God did bring the flood 7 days later in the 600th year, on the 17th day of the 2nd month of the calendar aligned with Noah’s lifespan. It was on this 17th day of the 2nd month that God shut the door on the ark, securing the safety of its occupants and also sealing the fate of everyone else in the world outside of the ark. They would all now certainly perish in that worldwide catastrophe.
Genesis 7:16,17 And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in. And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.

Earlier it was mentioned that the church age came to an end in the year 1988 AD. It so happens that the church age began on the day of Pentecost (May 22nd) in the year 33 AD. Then 1955 years later, the church age came to its conclusion on May 21st, which was the day before Pentecost in 1988.
The Bible teaches that the end of the church age would occur simultaneously with the beginning of the great tribulation:

Matthew 24:21 For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.
On May 21st, 1988, God finished using the churches and congregations of the world. The Spirit of God left all churches and Satan, the man of sin, entered into the churches to rule at that point in time. The Bible teaches us that this awful period of judgment upon the churches would last for 23 years. A full 23 years (8400 days exactly) would be from May 21 st, 1988 until May 21st, 2011. This information was discovered in the Bible completely apart from the information regarding the 7000 years from the flood.

Therefore, we see that the full 23-year tribulation period concludes on May 21st, 2011. This date is the exact day that the great tribulation comes to its end, and this is also the most likely landing spot for the 7000 years from the flood of Noah’s day.

(didn't watch this, but i feel like this post needed a video)

You know, what do you do if it's actually revelation? I mean... aren't we all doomed? I would like to think that I have lived a full life, but there's still so much cheese and alcohol to consume..

Oh well, I can't really think of something too funny here. I just figured I would warn you of the coming doom. So that you can put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

So What's California's State Gun?

So What's California's State Gun?

I don't think they covered this in California History class back when I was a kid. I mean, doesn't every state have a gun? Well, at least Utah does.
Utah becomes first in U.S. to designate official state gun

SALT LAKE CITY (Reuters) - Utah has become the first U.S. state to name an official firearm, placing an automatic pistol on a list of designated symbols, right along with the honeybee and the cutthroat trout.

Utah Governor Gary Herbert signed the bill into law this week, designating the Browning model M1911 automatic pistol as the official state firearm.

The gun, which turns 100 years-old this year, is manufactured in Ogden, Utah.

"It does capture a portion of Utah's history," Utah State Representative Carl Wimmer, a Republican who sponsored the bill, told Reuters.

And scary enough, this whole thing is still a lot less offensive than their liquor laws and much less stupid than "Hang on Sloopy" being the official state song of Ohio. But it really does make you wonder when your state will vote for your choice of firearm sponsorship for the joint.

"It does capture a portion of Utah's history," Utah State Representative Carl Wimmer, a Republican who sponsored the bill, told Reuters. "I mean literally, it points itself at that history and then tells it what to do. There's nothing more Mormon than that."
Maybe they could have just got a hunting rifle to be the state choice for a gun. That would be a lot better than a hand gun because then you could easily say that it was made for killing other state's state birds.

Utah is so backwards I really don't want to drive through there. I mean, yeah Salt Lake City is there, but fuck the rest of it. Do I even need to get on topic of the Mormons?

I mean, can anyone describe for me what getting shit faced on 3.2 percent beer is like? I mean.. seriously? I'm fairly certain it involves twice the amount of peeing as regular beer. I guess it's just a matter of time to see what happens if someone uses Utah's official state gun to shoot a Utah official government official.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Doctor Whooooo.. Tell Me Who You Are... Doctor, He's The Doctor

Doctor Whooooo.. Tell Me Who You Are... Doctor, He's The Doctor

Argh, why do I have that stuck in my head now? Curses! But anyhow. You know what's the nice thing that happens after Lent is over?

It's Easter. Though I really couldn't give a shit about the actual bunny and egg holiday. I'm just in it for new Doctor Who.

And if you're like me and can't wait, here's a little something to hold you over.

Well wasn't that fun.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Hitting You With A Sucker Punch

Hitting You With A Sucker Punch

I guess with the weekend starting up, it's time to talk about what's going to be hitting the movie theaters.

Surprisingly enough, I started a draft for this blog post last year right after comic con when the first footage was shown.

Yeah, that did look pretty damn odd and over the top, didn't it? I bet you're wondering what's it all about. Well, this is the first completely original film by Zack Snyder that he's co-written and directed. Amazing, no more remakes and comic book adaptions. The boy has finally grown up...

Or has he? I mean, look at this sketch art laced all over this blog post it's pretty clear he has some school boy fetish/fantasies running rampant all over this film. So anyhow, the film is set in Vermont during the 1950's and tells the story of a young woman named Babydoll who is confined to a mental institution by her abusive father.

Facing the possibility of a lobotomy, being the standard practice of the time, Babydoll works on figuring out a way to escape with her other fellow mental patients (Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish, Jamie Chung and Jena Malone) and as the story moves in and out of anachronistic fantasy sequences, filled with dragons, robots, zombie nazi's and all sorts of other strange shit, it's geared to take you on one strange journey.

I have to admit that I'm looking forward to seeing it. And not just because of my strange crush on Jena Malone. That doesn't hurt, mind you, but because it does look like a wonderful playground for science fiction.. even if the story is complete shit and fairly predictable, it does scream to be at the very least eye candy.

I mean, just look at the official trailer...

Yes, it looks like the dumbest premise in order to put a bunch of high school looking girls into ridiculous fight sequences and skimpy clothing while also charging around guns a blazing. There's really going to be no end in sight to the nerdy fandom that follows.

It seems to embody everything that wrong with these kinds of epic films in Hollywood and I would be surprised if it's longer than 90 minutes, but hell if I'm not probably going to enjoy the visual eye candy that all the glorified violence and female leads provide.

It's pretty clear that this is all just going on in their mind as a visual representation of what is happening metaphorically to them in the real world and I'm sure that Babydoll will get her brain lobotomized and the dreams be nothing more than.. well, a dream.

I mean, why else would it be called Sucker Punch? I'm guessing that's in reference to the audience getting sucker punched with the fact that none of this shit mattered in the real world. But again, I guess it'll be worth it for the action and science fiction adventure in it.

I mean, Snyder did harden these female actors up who aren't really known for doing any action roles before. He sent Emily Browning and the rest of the gang to train with fucking Navy SEALs. By the end of their 12-week training session, I read somewhere each of the main girls could lift 210 lbs.

What the fuck are you doing to Jena Malone, Snyder? What with battling dragons, orcs, zombies and Nazi's, this sucker is a mix between the Matrix and Lord of the Rings with a tad bit of Inception and mixed with a chaser of Kill Bill and Alice in Wonderland.

Wait.. isn't this set in the 1950's? Forget the Orcs, demons, dragons, Samurai with chain guns and zombie Nazi's in trenches.. my believability in this film has been compromised!
Wait, isn't this set in the 1950s?

Besides that, if you put Lords of Acid for the music in a trailer and you train your petite actresses for 6 hours a day with Navy SEALs for 3 months, toss in Samurai's with massive guns and trench warfare... How could you not have every 13 year old's wet dream? I'm certainly not seeing any downside yet..

Well, there's some bad news. It looks like he cut 20 minutes of fighting scenes to keep it PG-13 So at least there will be a substantially longer director's cut to look forward to. The only review on RT thus far is from the comments, but I think this person only saw the trailer:
Emily "a series of unfortunate events never got turned into a series" Browning stars in Sucker Punch; a movie that unabashedly centers around nothing but man-fantasy eye candy... better known as Maxim: The Movie. The film follows the cartoon inspired tragedy of a teenage-ish girl in the 1960's who is locked away at a stripper school for the criminally insane, which also doubles as a matrix martial arts dojo. Quick zooms, rapid slo-mo, and boobs jiggling as shells bounce off pavement... in slow motion... yeah, it's all there in full supply.
TRIVIA: keep on the lookout for the token, ass-kicking Asian chick, which totally hasn't been overdone since Sin City.
This is going to be one of those films that critics are going to hate. I mean, it's Zack Synder for goodness sakes. His face is asking for a Sucker Punch. But still, here's two animated shorts to get you in the mood.

And the second one..

Even if the story sucks, at least this will be interesting to look at. It's like a Heavenly Creatures for retards or a Pan's Labyrinth complete with aving to accomplish task and gather items all before the ending to Brazil most likely kicks in.

But yeah, I have a feeling that the movie is titled Sucker Punch. Who else thinks there will be a massive fuck you at the end where the protagonist gets killed/lobotomized anyway after completing all her missions?

This is how the movie needs to end.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Sheen's Back In The News

Sheen's Back In The News

Yeah, this isn't about Charlie Sheen. I know, why am I not reporting on which latest porn star he's snorting blow off the ass crack of and "winning" or whatever stupid catch phrase he's saying next? I don't know. Maybe cause I like to report on scummier things than Sheen... Like oil spills?

Why yes, it done happened again.....
The U.S. Coast Guard is investigating reports of a potentially massive oil sheen about 20 miles north of the site of last April's Deepwater Horizon oil rig explosion.

A helicopter crew and pollution investigators have been dispatched to Main Pass Block 41 in response to two calls to the National Response Center, the federal point of contact for reporting oil and chemical spills, said Paul Barnard, an operations controller for Coast Guard Sector New Orleans.

The first caller, around 11 a.m., described a sheen of about a half-mile long and a half-mile wide, he said.

About two hours later, another caller reported a much larger sheen -- about 100 miles long -- originating in the same area and spreading west to Cocodrie on Terrebonne Bay, Barnard said.

"We haven't been able to verify that, and it would be very unlikely for an individual to be able to observe a 100-mile long sheen," he said, adding inspection teams were en route around 3 p.m. to the site.

Eileen Angelico of the federal Bureau of Ocean Energy, Management, Regulation and Enforcement, which oversees offshore oil and natural gas production, said late Saturday afternoon that her agency was awaiting Coast Guard confirmation of the nature of the sheen. The bureau had not received word from any operators in the gulf of a spill, she said.
Clearly this is just some sort of fluke. I'm certain that this sort of thing won't happen again in our lifetimes. I mean, deepwater drilling is a perfectly safe practice and it's our only source of fuel for the rest of our lives. Clearly it's safe..

Well then, I'm sure that whatever company did it will make it right just like BP did. And if it's actually oil, than this could just be some natural emission from the ocean. It certainly cannot possibly be linked to BP's spill because everyone knows that all that oil was cleaned up.

Besides, I read somewhere that sometimes nature just naturally releases a little oil here and a little oil there - You know, because there's so much of it that it's just aching to burst out of the ocean floor. If anything, this shows that we need far more drilling to be done.

That and we should come to terms with the notion that New Orleans is a doomed city.

But what is with all this creating of fear? This thing is probably just the shadow of some giant fish the size of which we have probably never seen and will more than likely eat cities whole. So stop with the scaremongering with this talk of oil spills, people!

Then again, is this an actual spill? Some like to believe otherwise.
What was reported as a miles-long oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico is likely a plume of silt emanating from a dredging operation on the Mississippi River, a U.S. Coast Guard spokesman said Sunday.

Still, the Coast Guard is testing the substance, which has an associated rainbow sheen similar to that resulting from oil spills, to determine exactly what it is, said spokesman Henry Cambre.
So don't worry guys, it's just some rainbow silt. Let's get back in the water already. Which really makes you wonder, is this a spill or not? What's the spiel on all this spill? They better spill the beans on the real spill deal. Feel me? Just look at what the AP is reporting.. AP:
The Coast Guard says a miles-long patch of discolored goop floating in the Gulf of Mexico appears to be caused by river sediment.

The Coast Guard tested the patch Sunday and found only trace amounts of petroleum that were well below the state of Louisiana's standard for clean water. A news release says The Coast Guard believes the discoloration is the result of sediments brought down the Mississippi River.

The investigation began after reports came in Saturday of what appeared to be an oily sheen.

The Coast Guard also said it was investigating separate reports of an oily substance washing up in Grand Isle and other areas nearby. The substance isn't believed to be from last year's massive BP oil spill, but it's being tested.

Cleanup crews and boom are being deployed.
So.. yeah. It's claimed to be sediment, but they're also might be some oil in it.. and they're treating it like an oil spill.. but it's just sediment guys, okay? Keep your camera crews away and focused on the war Obama just started. Nothing to see here.

If there's anything that was learned from the last huge oil spill, it is to not tell anyone and keep it a big secret while doing the minimum to clean it up because no one on the coasts is actually smart enough or observant enough to notice disgusting black tar on the beaches. Just make sure to keep your camera crews off the beach.

In other news...

Source of 30-mile oil spill in Gulf puzzles officials

Shell is on track to start new deepwater drilling in Gulf of Mexico

Woohoo! Capitalism.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Do Robots Dream of Slaughtering Electric Sheep?

Do Robots Dream of Slaughtering Electric Sheep?

Of course not. I mean, we all know that's not in the three laws, right? Well in any event, there's this short film, roughly 12 minutes long, about the timeless classic story between a Boy and his toy Robot Blinky™. Blinky™ is happy to do what ever is asked....

I guess the lesson here is just be careful at what you ask for.....

Blinky™ from Ruairi Robinson on Vimeo.

I really loved all the subtle futuristic details that were laid out throughout the short. Not to mention the really abrupt ending. It looked like there was going to be some kind of hide-and-seek-themed chase involved with that final shot, but I liked the suddenness that it got to even better.

The restraint that made everything before the dinner scene so good just vanished at the end there. It was as if the director was knocked out by Sam Raimi and shoved in a closet with two minutes to go and bam! Evil Dead time.

Did they really have to show those last five seconds or so of it? I mean.. they didn't have to spell it out anymore than they had leading up to it. We get it, the stupid kid actor from Where the Wild Things Are gave the robot a command that wasn't suppose to be taken literally.

Though I do like how his mother also inadvertently gave the command on his fate. But they really didn't have to show the shower of blood like that. The robot closing the door slowly as the officers walked in would have been creepy enough.

But then again, I did laugh pretty wildly at the way that Blinky said "I recycled him. I cleaned him, and cooked him, for dinner. You're eating him!" with such glee. Oh that poor little robot. All he ever wanted was to be friends.

I have to say though, I do find the robot to be creepy all in its own. Mainly for the same reason that dolphins, Clowns and huge smiles mask are creepy as fuck. It's that they aren't really actually smiling. It's just the shape or image of a person smiling and you're just interpreting it as a smile. It has nothing to do with what is going on inside their head.

All those items that have a forced/forever smile on their face are just creepy as fuck if you really think about it. And for that this Blinky Robot is just really freaky.

But then again, that's what makes this short piece all that much better.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Gotta Nuke Something

Gotta Nuke Something

So by now you're well aware that an Earthquake hit the land of tentacle rape porn and you are worried that the nuclear power plant will go full Akira and blow the shit out of things left and right. Well, maybe you need a better education about how nuclear power works.

I mean, especially since three mile island essentially destroyed American nuclear expansion and acceptance for at least three decades. So how about we let the Japanese show us how nuclear threats work in a format that they do best...

Oh man, that looks pretty silly right? Now what is the threat of that fella pooing all over the place? Well, how about we look at this projected flow of air to let us all know what we should be expecting...

You see that right there? That's call revenge for Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Karma's a bitch, isn't it? But because of this we're able to see how truly stupid Americans actually are.
The radiation nightmare is happening thousands of miles away in Japan – but Americans already are hoarding drugs in hopes of staving off cancer.

"You just aren't going to have any radiological material that, by the time it traveled those large distances, could present any risk to the American public," said Nuclear Regulatory Commission Chairman Greg Jazcko.

Still, that fact hasn't prevented Americans from stocking up on the drug., a nuclear disaster readiness product seller, is sold out of potassium iodide in both liquid and tablet form, according to its website. Anbex Inc., a supplier of the pills, told The AP that his company had sold out of more than 10,000 14-pill packages and doesn't expect more supply until April.

"I feel strongly there is a high likelihood we will have radiation coming from Japan," Tammy Lahutsky told the AP she waited at the Texas Star Pharmacy in Plano, Tex., on Tuesday. She bought six bottles for herself and a friend.

"I can't tell you how many women are calling up in tears," said Alan Morris, president of Anbex Inc. Morris told the AP that the company had sold out of more than 10,000 14-pill packages and won't be able to offer more until April.

While there really is nothing more to even say about this as the article speaks for itself pretty well, I can add a lot of things. I mean, that's typically what I do - Usually with a lot of swear words laced all over them.

I guess an irrational fear of that there Japanese cancer will scare the living shit out of anyone, right? That there is some of the worst kind of cancer. But then again, isn't radiation the key in killing cancer? It has been proven to be therapeutic to cancer patients for quite some time. Perhaps this cloud of doom is being reduced so far that it can actually help us.

If you currently have cancer you better go out and pray that the rays of death come your way and kill off that cancer in your body. Then again logic and common sense could kick in and you could realize that by the time those radiation clouds get to us it wont have much of what makes it deadly left anyway.

Not anymore than what you would get flying in a plane, standing next to a microwave or getting an x-ray. Hell, I'm pretty sure that people in Colorado have more exposure to radiation just getting up in the morning (since they're closer to the sun) than any of us on the west coast will get from this threat.

Don't believe me? Take a look at this following chart to see your normal exposure level to this harmful radiation stuff.

Now if only these people were buying potassium chloride instead.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Scott Ghadaffi Vs The World

Scott Ghadaffi Vs The World

Here we go. It finally happened. It finally made the front page and people finally took notice something beyond Lohan in court. All it took was a no fly zone and the US bombing the shit out of the place to get people to notice what is happening in Libya.

In the event you don't know what's going on, Over the weekend Obama stamped away, with the help of the U.N. to create a no-fly zone for Libya. Then they started bombing the shit out of Libya's hot spots. Yup, this should lock up a 2nd Nobel Peace Prize easy.

It was only a matter of time before Obama jumped in and used one of the follow:
  • Moammar Gaddafi has failed to disarm
  • He represents an imminent danger to the region
  • The cost of inaction is greater than any risk posed by going to war
  • The world, and Libya in particular, will be a better place without Gaddafi's regime
First off, I have to ask how insane our government is. Not for yet another money burning operation, but for the name of it in itself. If you don't know, the name of the operation that saw Tomahawk missiles bombing Libya is called Odyssey Dawn.

Why yes, let's name our supposedly easy military operation after a hellish lengthy journey. Great job, Pentagon. You fucking idiots. My only hope now is that we have a lot of aircraft carriers sailing in circles around the Mediterranean for 10 years.

Oh yeah, in case you were wondering. 114 Tomahawk missiles x $500,000 = $57 million. Thank god that hundreds of Libyans will be granted glorious spiritual liberation by American bombs and then capitalism instead of having to languish in Gaddafi's dungeons.

I wonder if you remember when France penned a $400 million dollar arms deal with Libya in 2007? That's gotta be fun. Now they get to blow up all the stuff they sold them. Now that's a solid business model if I've ever heard of one.

So why hasn't this been getting more media attention? Maybe it was because no one could figure out what his god damn name was. The banner at the top of his official website spells it, "AL Gathafi." But if you go deeper into the site, you'll see it variously rendered as "Al Qaddafi," "Algathafi," and "Al-Gathafi." Adding to the multitude of his spellings is the increasingly ironically named "Al-Gaddafi International Prize for Human Rights."

And that's just the surname. Variations on his given name include Muammar, Moammar, Mu'ammar, and Moamar, and many others. Once you've settled on how to spell his first and last names, you then have to decide whether you want to add the Arabic prefix "al-" before his last name. Which can also be spelled "el-." And then you have to decide whether the prefix should be capitalized.

All this because his name has 3 different letters that have no english equivalent: ع, ذ, and غ. The first one (from the left) makes a sound kind of like the th in rather (as opposed to the th in with or thick, which is a different letter). it's often transliterated as just a dh, sometimes a dd. the second one was the hardest for me to learn as a native english speaker, it's kind of a vague U noise made at the back of the throat, close to the way you'd constrict your throat if you were doing a kermit the frog impression. transliteration is hard with that, but sometimes you'll see an apostrophe. the last one is made by trilling your tongue on the top of your throat, a lot like a parisian R. in the program I was in, we focused on standard arabic with a little egyptian, so I can't speak to how this might differ from the egyptian dialect, but that's how the letters were taught to me.

And all this so far is on how to deal with his name. So I guess it's no wonder that we haven't been hearing much about this on your local station, let alone on the cable news networks. After all that, most editors gave up and ran stories about Justin Bieber instead.

Maybe the reason Libya wasn't getting the same attention as Egypt because Gaddafi is one of those people that likes the attention. We never know what he's going to do next. He's a wildcard and if we gave him any ounce of attention, it's basically him saying "You thought that was bad, well look at this shit!". As he blows up an oil pipeline or something.

If you're not aware of this guy, here's a good article on why he's a pretty bad man.
Gaddafi has ruled the country with the delusion of grandeur of a man who rose to power in a 1969 coup with fairly acceptable political ideals that got corrupted and abandoned. Gaddafi’s much vaunted socialism turned into distribution in favour of the Colonel’s clansmen.
So while I really wish we could stop this, the only thing we can really do as a nation is to raise awareness and I guess bomb the shit out of there. I mean, at least Obama is saying that there wouldn't be any troops on the ground...... yet.

I would like to toss this one out to you with any sort of logic. Think about this - Hillary Clinton traded with the Arab League, getting their support for this in exchange for letting them crush the shit out of the protests in Bahrain. Without the Arab League's declaration of support for a no fly zone, there would not have been a U.N. resolution. Which is what Obama's using as a political fig leaf here.

In short, this isn't about innocent civilians. It's about who can be sacrificed for our own benefit. But hey, I'm glad we're going through all of this effort to replace a stable, autocratic government with a Somalia-style environment.

I wouldn't be surprised if this was all some sort of pretense of an excuse to boost his re-election chances by genociding yet another hundred million brown people. I mean, it couldn't be, right? This is the same guy who inspired us to have HOPE.... fuck. Won't be fooled again.

It's as if Obama has just turned into Reagan. Oh wait.. didn't Reagan also bomb the shit out of places.. hell, he even killed one of Gaddafi's sons. The sad thing is that we all watched the metamorphosis happen right before our very own eyes.

He doesn't even have the excuse that he lost his mind. He's just literally a puppet to any and everyone. Fuck this administration. They're already starting to suggest that we should expect Libyan terrorist for our actions. Man, We deserve everything bad that happens to us. Fuck it.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

One More St. Paddy's Day Rant

One More St. Paddy's Day Rant

Since I had to deal with two check points this weekend because of how close St Patrick's day/weekend celebration, I'm going to be like a potato famine and hit the Irish with everything I have...

Okay, that's a little unfair. It's not the Irish's fault really. Yeah, they're genetically disposed to be drunks, but it's not their fault that every fucking frat boy has co-oped their holiday as an excuse to get shit faced.

No, you see, I don't go in for that "Excuse to drink" bullshit. I didn't nor would I be drinking any more on any St. Patty's day or the weekend that follows it than I normally do.

On the flip side, I also won't be drinking any less.

Now that I think about it, the saying "Luck o the Irish" seems like a passive-aggressive jab when viewed historically. Fuck, that's pretty messed up, man.

St. Patricks Day would be a much better day if the British Army showed up at some point and gunned down every dumbshit wearing an over-sized, novelty Guinness hat. Then you would cue in another 800 years of Irish crying, whining, and self-pity. Oh yeah, not to mention awful U2 music. God, why is it that you white people love that band so much?

Perhaps I should take another shot at educating you on St. Patty's day history. I mean, it could very well be that St Patrick's Day was indeed a coded story about how Christians exterminated all the practitioners of local religions because they were metaphorically "snakes" that were driven out of Ireland. Or it could very well be a reference to druids with their snake tattoos and what not.

And how about that potato? Let's let a clearly stereotypical Irish lass explain it.

How about knowing your Irish? Here's a list of Irish folk in history, famous and infamous. Feel free to add to it if you recall any micks.

Barack O'Bama
Panch O'Villa
Jackie O'Nassis
Patrick Fitzhenry
Henry Fitzpatrick
Jell O'Biafra
Yoko O'No

Yup. Shaquille is probably the best Irish-American name. Now see, isn't history fun? It's a whole lot better than just making an excuse for Bro's to get together and get drunk and act belligerent. The whole Holiday should be openly mocked.

And yeah, Guinness, I love you, but why the fuck are you selling a stout called "extra foreign"? If people are more than happy enough to drink Green Miller Lite for a quarter at 7am, why make something "extra foreign"?

Most people drink Keystone or PBR that they bought in a 30 pack for $7.99. They aren't doing this ironically, you know. More so because they're probably unemployed in this economy and running out of money.

Well, there we go. I did a final few jabs at the whole St. Patty's Weekend. So how about we kick this away by playing something that isn't Dropkick Murphy's

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Gun Nutz

Gun Nutz

Like the title says, we got Gun Nuts all up in here. GUN NUTZ

God, I hate America....
These are just 3 of the colors that we have available, we can also get them in red, blue, purple, white, sky blue, orange, yellow, green, and clear.
We also have them in plated chrome or plated gold for an additional cost.

Write us for the prices on the chrome and gold nutz.

We also have them in several sizes, we have 4”, 8”, and 16” MONSTER NUTZ!

For the ladies, nutz are available in pink. Show the guys at the range “Who's Bad” with a
set of pink nutz on your firearm

Enjoy, and spread the word
Someone should do a massive nasty target practice on that set of balls there. Potentially hitting the troop's balls.. or his spine. Whichever, really.

You have to wonder, don't gun barrels get hot and wouldn't a little stupid piece of rubber attached to one melt and make a mess of the tank you're driving? Man, these are poorly thought out.

Man, nothing shows off how much of a man you are than by hanging replica male genitalia on all your phallus substitutes. You just know that guy has got a tiny dick based on where those balls are.

I just wonder which sort of gun you'll use for the above HOT PINK Gun Nutz?


What is America's obsession with guns? I mean, you go down to the shooting range and you'll see morons put a giant scope on their rifle so that they can hunt the most dangerous game around.. paper targets.

In short.. Fuck this shit, Death to America! Or at least our stupid cultural need to hang on to weapons and attach fake balls to them.

Friday, March 18, 2011

NPR... Defunded

NPR... Defunded

So yeah.. that happened. Well, one step towards happening...
WASHINGTON, March 17 (Reuters) - The U.S. House of Representatives voted on Thursday to end federal funding for National Public Radio, following recent controversies that entangled some of the organization's senior executives.

Republicans said the move, which passed by a vote of 228-192, was motivated by the need to cut spending in the face of a record federal budget deficit.

NPR, which has about 27 million listeners, was shaken last week when its chief executive, Vivian Schiller, resigned after the organization's chief fund-raiser was secretly videotaped making disparaging remarks about members of the conservative Tea Party movement and questioning whether NPR needed government funding.
Why yes.. it all makes sense. We surly can't have the American government funding an organization that actually reports factual information free and over the public air waves. I'm sure glad that the republicans are finally stepping up to the plate and are removing this organization's taint from ARE great country.

Who needed car talk anyway? Bootstraps, bitches! Fix your own car without two annoying brothers who laugh at their own shit way too much...

Fuck man! Arthur sure has had a lot of left leaning guest stars. We better defund PBS! So is this the beginning of the end for National Public Radio? Whatever will Garrison Keillor do now? Well, I guess the answer to that is "Beg for money more often". Time to get your fill on local college station tote bags!

But let's face it, it's not like this will actually make it through the senate. Oh wait.. it's the Dems we're talking about. Why did I, for even a second, assume that given the voting history for the democratic senators over the past two years, assume that this had any chance of not getting passed?

We all know what will happen. The democrats will pass it in the spirit of compromise hoping the republicans will start to try cutting less - and of course they wont - and despite Obama saying he's against cutting NPR funding, he'll put pen to paper and sign this mother fucker to law. Why? Well, why not. It's Obama we're talking about.

I mean, do you know that Fresh Air is a reasonable alternative to Glenn Beck and of course that means that we have balanced media in this country. But no, that shit has got to go! I guess you should have donated to your local NPR affiliate during their last pledge drive.

I know KPCC just finished theirs. Here's hoping that enough community college kids tossed in their $11 per unit to keep the station alive. But man, isn't this a son of a bitch. It goes to show you that James O'Keefe has more influence over American domestic policy than thousands of protesters in Madison. All by dressing like a pimp to shut down acorn and having fellas dress in Arab stereotypes.

For those of you who are worried about shows like This American Life, you shouldn't be. Those are still being produced and will still be able to be purchased. As the local stations will still be given funding. But they can't use that funding to buy NPR or American Public Radio shows.

What's funny about that is that This American Life needs the money the least. TAL is honestly a show that could be made very cheaply without sacrificing much of the production values. But the news outfits of NPR actually require resources to stay alive.

And while I used to be a big fan of Radiolab, it's really starting to annoy me these days. Especially when they just echo something on and on in the background. Echo something on and on in the background. Echo something on and on in the background. Echo something on and on in the background.

There's seriously a good show trapped under all those layers of pretentiousness. I just wish they wouldn't put too much frosting and sugar-toppings on the program, with less it would be much more listenable.

NPR funding basically supports your local station news, which is really the only valid service public radio provides to begin with. Without funding you can pretty much kiss any print or online news service via their website goodbye.

If they lose federal funding, NPR will have to end up asking for money on the air. I mean, how the hell can that happen in this great nation of ours?

We already have to deal with that twice a year for a week. Ugh!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Why I Hate The Luck Of The Irish

Why I Hate The Irish

It's not even the Irish that I hate, I just really dislike this stupid holiday altogether.

As much of a drunk that I am, you would imagine that I would love St. Patty's day to death. It's nothing more than an excuse to drink and pretend you're some Irish. I mean, I know I love me some red headed fare maidens out there, but in reality, I hate the holiday.

The problem I have with this holiday is that it's everything that is wrong with America.

At best, St. Patty's day is Amateur hour at any bar you happen to go to. If it has an Irish sounding name then it's just going to be so much worse. You can expect to wait in a good 45 minute line outside of the joint just to get in.

And once you do get in, it's elbow bumping shoulder to shoulder all the way. But hey, these are the kind of people you want to be around anyway, right? Wrong. That amateur description really says it all.

These are the people who easily only come to the bar twice a year during Cinco De Mayo and St Patty's day. I can't think of another Holiday that drives them out as 4th of July is clearly a day you drink outside.

So yeah, you have these folks who have no idea how bar etiquette works. Bartenders getting shitty tips for crazy service - which does lead to having to wait ten minutes at the bar to get your shitty Green dyed beer. Makes you wonder what happens to all that Miller-lite that gets dyed for one night.

And of course these folks are the ones who don't see that it's now socially acceptable to drink without having to come up with some silly excuse as "The dude who we don't know the history of celebration day is here!". Well they end up getting really shit faced off of really bad beer. Most of them still have this preconceived notion that Guinness is so heavy and ewww!

But this leads to the classic drunks fighting and puking all over your bar and your persons. I mean, it's bound to happen. The holiday promotes recluse abandonment of being responsible with the simple banner that it's okay since it's St Patty's day. Duh!

Not to mention that D.U.I. check points are vastly increased and highway patrol is on full alert. In fact, this not only is in effect on Thursday, but since it's so close to the weekend, they extend the full on manhunt for anyone combining alcohol in any amount and getting behind the wheel to the entire weekend. So you can expect to see far more police out on the road and D.U.I check points pop up all over L.A.

Then you have those folks who just love to remind you that they're Irish. As if 1/10th of your ancestral background being a Mick is something to be proud of or gives you proper justification to get so shit faced in public you make an ass out of yourself.

Ha ha! Would you look at that, it's a Drunk Irishman. Oh boy does he have a drinking problem, but that's perfectly fine because he's Irish! Continue to laugh at their silly antics as if he was some leprechaun while they slowly drink themselves to an early and painful death.

It's pretty ironic that these part Irish folks are all proud of being it. The Irish were not considered a "True" white race until the late 19th century. You were probably hated more than the blacks. The only difference is they were brought here as slaves. You came on your own free will and still face such hatred.

But me, I don't hate the Irish. I just hate the people who take a holiday and use it as an excuse to fuck up my local watering hole and feel like they don't have a problem in wanting to get so completely wasted simply because it's a Saint's day. And I'm not even catholic.

It's not even just me that hates this day. Most real Irish also hate it. I'm pretty sure that at night they go and piss on the Blarney stone

But hey, do you actually want to know the history of this Holiday you're pissing on? By all means, click the video away...

But hey, you just want yet another excuse to get drunk. Who cares if you're fine with misinterpreting history and exploiting foreign culture for the purpose of some good times, right?

Don't get me wrong, I'm someone who loves pale redheaded women even more than the next guy. And I realize that when it comes to a sub group of people who fit that category, they're most likely going to come from that ethnic background of being Irish... and having that oh so sexy Irish accent... But back to the point, this Holiday has taken a life of its own and it's really pretty sad, all things given, that it's just focused on the drinking aspect.

And yeah, they don't eat Haggis, folks. That's the Scottish. Corned Beef and cabbage is also something that while very tasty, probably doesn't have as much consumption as you would imagine the Irish to eat. Also, why hasn't black pudding become more popular?

But I guess it does come down to the fact that it seems that every American holiday is really about drinking. The only difference is that on St. Patty's day, you don't have to deal with family, buy anyone a card or even sugar coat the drinking aspect of it.

So with that, I guess I'll say HAPPY ST. PADDY'S DAY, YOU MICK BASTARDS!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Your Local News Rack

Your Local News Rack

For some strange reason I still pick up a magazine when I'm at the store. Be it Los Angeles Magazine or Men's Health or sometimes even Maxim. I still find myself going back to those paper and pages of ads from time to time.

It's a hard habit to break even if everything you could possibly ever want to know about anything is blogged or updated online at a much faster rate. In the case of Maxim, I guess you can lump in shit like the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit issue. I mean, who really cares about that one anyway when there's tons of porn on the internet?

Though I guess that's a topic for another day. I just want to get to the point that sometimes magazine covers are a little bit tasteless for the sake of displaying on a check out rack. So they have to cover them up with a family friendly plastic padding.

The following covered up magazine really made me raise an eyebrow.

Oh, I see how it is.

One man and a baby - okay to show
Two men and a baby - block to protect families.
Three men and a baby - box office gold

And yes, this was an incident at one store and the manager got complaints about it and he covered it, I have to wonder about the morons who were actually complaining about this one. It's a good thing that corporate got complaints about the cover and they reviewed it/removed it.

It just really makes you wonder what is actually family friendly?

I do have to wonder though, why isn't Black Rifles not in the porno magazine section? I mean, let's be real here.. that just sounds like a dirty magazine.

More reason to say it... God damn, America!

The Deadliest Warrior - Why The Fuck Am I Watching This?

The Deadliest Warrior - Why The Fuck Am I Watching This?

That's really what I ask myself when I flip through anything on SPIKE. I mean, the network is complete shit. But there's one TV show that comes to mind right now. The Deadliest Warrior.

It's a simple concept that your average 5 year old who has asked if Superman can fight Darth Vader and who would win. You have two forces from history, time, space, whatever. And you put them to fight each other and see which one would come out ahead based on some really stupid shit.

Well, they did a really stupid match up between the SS and the Vietcong. Just look at this actual quote from the show.
"these organizations are some of the most evil in history but the SS were probably the worst of the two"
Though interestingly enough, they did actually fight in real life as well when the remains of the SS joined the French Foreign Legion to escape prosecution. But anyhow, back to Deadliest Warrior..

There's a trash talking segment before the showdown where the representative experts explain why the Apache warrior would totally murder the shit out of the spartan, actually no fucking way man. The Spartan would own him like immediately, brah!

Oh yeah, I guess it should be mentioned that the average SS officer was 100 years old. I just don't get how a guy with access to AKs and RPGs lose to a guy with a Luger. I mean.. what do they have? The power of white skin?

The SS won the simulated battle. How? Well, they used a blow torch. You want to see this cluster fuck of a match up?

Yes, that's right. They gave it to the SS. So this, by extension means that the SS could have defeated the US Army. So I guess the true answer is Stalin.

The entire show was basically "Oh the SS are so big and strong and physically perfect but the little rodent people from Vietnam sure have some fight in them". It was a racist bullshit Nazi worshiping if I ever seen such circle jerking.

I love their rational here. The Vietcong are one of the most evil organizations in history... because they are commies. Vietcong = Commies = Communism = Stalin = Gulags. If you support the Vietcong you support Russian Gulags during the 1930's

Vietcong are evil because by successfully waging a guerrilla campaign against the brave Troops of the US Military they forced said brave troops to massacre thousands of civilians. True story.

Next up, Mansweres: Can farting underwater make my girlfriends boobs bigger?!?! Who cares, the real issue is that she better get breast implants because they may save her life by stopping a bullet!

I guess my only hope now is that they repeat the IRA vs the Tailiban for St. Patty's day. I'll be properly drunk.. no wait, I wont. But still when will they show the episode where they pit the Predator Drone vs the Pakistani Wedding?

Still, You have to love that them taking tactics into consideration by wasting the Viet Cong's special weapon slow with a poop-spike that can be used once. Never mind the whole notion that they used tunnels to give Americans a hell of a fight. Let alone the fact that they compared the Vietcong to the worst war criminals in history because they had the gall to defend their country against an invading army. I mean, what the fuck.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

God Damn, America

God Damn, America

Hey, remember that guy that supposedly leaked out all the information to WikiLeaks? No? damn, I guess you're American. But hey, let's look at what he's gone through..
As Obama's crime of the destruction of Bradley Manning continues to unfold before our very eyes, Manning friend David House now tells us that over 8 months in isolation with movement and sleep restrictions placed on him have been having their intended effect. House has told MSNBC that by the end of January Manning appeared "catatonic" and that he had "severe problems communicating," with it having taken House nearly 45 minutes on a recent visit to engage in any meaningful way (video below.) House said Manning's demeanor was as "if he had just woken up and didn't know what was going on around him." Manning was "utterly exhausted physically and was difficult to have any kind of social engagement."

Also, a full month after Congressman Dennis Kucinich formally requested a visit, the Army has stalled on the request.

All for the crime of reporting war crimes and criminal behavior even among the highest-ranking military officials in Iraq.

In 2005, General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said: "It is absolutely the responsibility of every U.S. service member [in Iraq], if they see inhumane treatment being conducted, to try to stop it."
Chase Mader writes in the Huffington Post that soon after deployment to Iraq, Manning:

"soon found himself helping the Iraqi authorities detain civilians for distributing "anti-Iraqi literature" -- which turned out to be an investigative report into financial corruption in their own government entitled "Where does the money go?" The penalty for this "crime" in Iraq was not a slap on the wrist. Imprisonment and torture, as well as systematic abuse of prisoners, are widespread in the new Iraq.
From the military's own Sigacts (Significant Actions) reports, we have a multitude of credible accounts of Iraqi police and soldiers shooting prisoners, beating them to death, pulling out fingernails or teeth, cutting off fingers, burning with acid, torturing with electric shocks or the use of suffocation, and various kinds of sexual abuse including sodomization with gun barrels and forcing prisoners to perform sexual acts on guards and each other...

Like any good soldier, Manning immediately took these concerns up the chain of command. And how did his superiors respond? His commanding officer told him to "shut up" and get back to rounding up more prisoners for the Iraqi Federal Police to treat however they cared to..."

Manning also found a video and an official report on American air strikes on the village of Granai in Afghanistan's Farah Province (also known as "the Granai massacre"). According to the Afghan government, 140 civilians, including women and a large number of children, died in those strikes.

War crimes? What war crimes? This is the point of view of the Pentagon as it destroys Bradley Manning.
Welp, looks like they broke him. Then you have Obama saying some shit that really annoys me.

"I have actually asked the Pentagon whether or not the procedures that have been taking are appropriate and meeting basic standards, they assured me that they are. I can not go into details about their concerns, but they have worries about his safety [from himself]."

Seriously? Seriously? Fuck this fucking country. America deserves anything that happens to it when we have our nation conducting itself in such a manner.

And for those of you who are pointing out that what if we didn't have Obama in the white house, guess what, the other option would have been MacCain. And I would expect that maybe a man who spent years being tortured would be a little bit more reserved about torturing an uncovicted American citizen to the point of insanity. At worse, he probably would have just had him shot in the head.

But then again, that's a better fate than what he's facing. He's already a martyr for the cause. He's nothing more than a body being kept alive so the spinal cord could continue to experience unpleasant sensory input to mirror his crimes against the body of the state.

If I was given a choice between being trapped in that condition or be put to death, you sure as hell know I'd pick being killed. And the scary thing is that the same torture that drove him to the point of insanity is inflicted on thousands of US convicts, often for the entire remainder of their natural lives. Now how many of those men are otherwise innocent or just sucked into the system by chance?

reminder that the same torture that drove him to insanity is inflicted on thousands of us convicts, often for the entire remainder of their lives, many of whom are actually innocent.

Monday, March 14, 2011

I Left My Heart In San Francisco. The Foreskin, I Kept With Me.

I Left My Heart In San Francisco. The Foreskin, I Kept With Me.

Tony Curtis once sang that he left his heart in San Francisco. It was a touching song but I have to wonder if it was now when he performed it would he be talking about a different body part being left.. or not left behind in the city of smugness?

Let's face it.. you can leave your heart in San Francisco, but you'll potentially not be able to leave your foreskin there soon...
Self-described "civil rights advocates" say that a ballot proposition to ban circumcision is on track for gathering signatures, meaning that San Franciscans may vote on the measure this November.

The proposed law is being spearheaded by local resident Lloyd Schofield, according to the San Francisco Examiner.

It's part of a national push to end the procedure, which some say is steeped in tradition but poses risks and has little medical benefit. The American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Medical Association do not recommend routine circumcision.

Getting on the ballot is the easy part -- only about 7,000 signatures are required. Once it's there, advocates will have to convince voters that snipping off body parts is a bad idea.

Although some studies indicate that circumcision reduces the risk of STD transmission, others have indicated that the procedure is not worth the associated risks and diminished sexual function.

Several Jewish organizations have weighed in against the ban as well, pointing out that circumcision rituals play an important historical role for many Jews. Schofeld counters that under his proposed law, adults would be free to opt-in to circumcision, but infants would not be allowed to have the procedure until they reach 18.

If it passes, those caught cutting foreskins would face a fine of $1,000 and a year in prison. Only people over the age of 18 would be allowed to have their foreskins removed.

I just have to say, having a strange turtle necked disturbing dog dick is not some sort of universal right. In fact, I have no problem that when I was young, they took mine away. Yeah, a little bit TMI, but guess what, it's topical.

At least I haven't gotten into how my circumcised penis is vajazzled. Now that would be both creatively remarkable as well as fashionable for the time. To be honest, this all feels like Obama is simply forcing kids to have ugly ass snuffalupugus looking dicks.

I really don't care that circumcisions are mainly performed by 1st year OB/Gyn residents who have almost no training or experience in the field. I don't mind that urologists won't do it and more senior residents consider it beneath them. The fact of the matter is that we don't need someone sticking up for all the white babies in San Francisco in their quest to have a dirty dick.

Because that's what it comes down to. Most Americans can't even take care of themselves, let alone their kid's foreskins. How do you expect them to teach them proper methods of cleaning their uncircumcised dicks?

But hey, this proposed law is being spearheaded... hee. I have to admit, my dick would be completely run of the mill if not for the circumcision scars. They really give it a character and I feel that without it, it would just be another face covered in skin..

Hey ladies, I'm less sexually sensitive so you know what that means? I can go 4 minutes instead of 3! Booooyah!

On the heels of this proposal we probably should do away with other controversial and painful medical procedures with permanent long term effects. You know, such as vaccinations given out to infants. Fuck those cultural trends! I say let them decide for themselves on if they want to be vaccinated against childhood diseases when they hit the right legal age of 18.

But hey, at least this whole thing is actually bringing the Muslims and the Jews to put all their differences aside and pull together in order to mutilate children's genitalia with religious immunity!
SAN FRANCISCO: Jewish and Muslim groups are mobilising over an attempt to outlaw male circumcision in San Francisco by putting the issue to a popular vote.

A self-described ''intact-ivist'', Lloyd Schofield, has been collecting signatures for a voter initiative that would criminalise infant circumcision in the Californian city.

After two months of collecting names, he claims to be more than halfway towards obtaining the 7168 signatures he needs by late April to put the matter on a ballot to be held in November.
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Mr Schofield and a growing community of anti-circumcision activists say infants should not be forced to participate in what is essentially culturally accepted genital mutilation.

They claim the procedure can cause health risks and diminished sexual function and compare it to the clitoridectomies performed on girls in parts of Africa.

''This is a human rights issue,'' he said. ''What you're doing is you're taking an infant and removing the most sensitive part of their body.''

Jewish organisations have pledged to fight the measure should it be placed on the ballot. The director of the Anti-Defamation League, Daniel Sandman, called Mr Schofield's effort discriminatory and misguided. ''This is hurtful and offensive to people in the community who consider this a coveted ritual,'' he said.

Abby Porth of the Jewish Community Relations Council charged Mr Schofield with wasting city resources for an inappropriate political stunt that was unlikely to become law.

''This is one of the most fundamental practices to our tradition of over 3000 years,'' she said. ''It's symbolic of our covenant with God.''

Ms Porth said the Jewish community would form a coalition against the initiative with medical professionals and Muslims, who also practise circumcision.

''It's very similar to those of the Jewish faith,'' said Omar Nawaz of Zaytuna College, a Muslim college in the San Francisco Bay area.

''It's a religious tradition and it's important for us.''

If the ban is approved, those caught cutting the foreskins of infants and other minors would face up to a year in jail and a fine of $US1000.
I mean, let's not forget that circumcised men are less likely to get HPV , Sorry about the higher risk of STD's, foreskin folks!

Though I do have to question why god, who it is said to have created us in his own image, would leave something he wanted off of us, on us. I can just image him saying something like:

"Oh shit, Man, I forgot to finish your dicks. Could you cut that last bit off for me? Thanks."

But you have to admit, it is a valid argument. Though let's just take god out of the equation. I think the problem here is that people see the act of cutting as something terrible wrong. Put this situation in its place..
"this would look better in its natural form, as a shapeless slab of cold marble"
-- anti-circumcision idiot, while looking at david, michelangelo's masterpiece

In short, I don't have to ever think about cleaning my hidden dank stinky dick skin because I'm cut. I don't remember feeling any pain when it got done because I was still too early to remember shit. So really, let those who want to slash off a little penis, slash off a little penis.

Let those who do it for religious, sick fun or whatever other reason keep on doing it.