Tuesday, May 21, 2019

ZORRO AT DISNEYLAND

ZORRO AT DISNEYLAND 

As a child I loved Zorro in my early years. He was great and I had this sort of obsession for all that. So seeing these old videos that Disneyland had Zorro just doing his thing, that just makes my heart smile.



Can we get that sort of thing back, Disney?

Saturday, May 18, 2019

TAYLOR SWIFT - ME!

TAYLOR SWIFT - ME!

A couple of weeks ago, good ol' T-swizzle dropped a banger and, well, I can't hide my feelings for it.





Look, maybe Swift is playing to my demographic - that is the demo that got out of a really long term relationship just a bit over a year ago. So, you know, I'm easily a target for her usual songs about heart scorn. But I don't even think that is it. No, you see, the music video had a color scheme that was so amazingly awesome that I wanted so much more. The pastel colors really worked with me and the outfit changes were well designed. Had a very Pushing Daisies sort of feel to it, which I do miss as a show.

Besides, the message is pretty solid that one feels when they're jilted that one will never find someone out there like themselves. I mean, that could be taken two ways that if you wanted to get away from someone that you felt was toxic, I guess that's good you'll never find another like oneself. But I mean, it's pretty clear the message of this one is I'm fucking awesome, fuck you. And well, I can get behind on that with ease.

Cause you know there ain't no I in team, but you can't spell awesome without me.

I ain't better, fuck you.

Friday, May 17, 2019

A DOG'S JOURNEY - HEY, STOP LYING TO YOURSELF

A DOG'S JOURNEY - HEY, STOP LYING TO YOURSELF 

A dogs journey is a movie about the soul of a dog continues to come back to their own over and over and over again in their life time because we're so fucking full of ourselves in thinking that we're the center of the fucking world and souls are attached to one self.

Guess what, they're not.

All the pets that you had and died on you are not connected to one another. Who the fuck knows what happens to a "soul" when you die, but the notion that a pet's soul is so fucking infatuated with you is so bad that you shouldn't entertain such stupid fucking notions. JUST STOP.

I mean, it sort of feels like the only way you could show compassion to a creature you own is by assuming that it has a link to a previous creature you have owned? It really cheapens the new creature and the old for their worth and individuality. How about loving the new little fella for the sole reason that you have a heart and not because he has this fake established history that you're filling out in your head. He's not the fucking Doctor, he didn't just regenerate just for the sole purpose that you can't start a new with your relationship with another living creature. So how about knocking this shit off?



Thursday, May 16, 2019

THE TWILIGHT ZONE

THE TWILIGHT ZONE 

Apparently on May 30th, the CBS All Access or whatever the fuck it's called, will have all the latest season's Twilight Zone episodes in.. get this... Black and fucking white.




Yeah, because that's what it was. That was why this show suffered so much of shitty writing and shitty premise and goddamn shitty execution. because it wasn't in black and fucking white.

Get the fuck out of here. At this point I'm pretty confident many of the writers have never seen most of the Twilight Zone original show and wrote most of the episodes off a mind-map that included the words "morals, politics" "sci-fi fantasy" and "scary"

Because I absolutely can't believe that they would do a remake of Twilight Zone without realizing that the writers are the most important aspect to the show and needs to be actually fucking A game level in the whole thing. When they said they were remaking the Twilight Zone with Jordan Peele, I assumed Peele would be writing most of the episodes or at least having head creative on it like Rod Serling did. As far as I can tell, he only partially wrote Nightmare at 30k and that is it. I mean, what the fucking shit? How much more interesting would it have been if the kid could manipulate minds and basically brought everyone under his spell.But JohnCho is trying to prevent the worst of his impulses? I just can't believe they think "It's trump, but he's a little kid? Do you get it? HUH, HUH? WELL, DO YOU?" is good writing on any level.  And this is from someone who hates Trump. It just wasn't good and so hamfisted in your face that it just was so lame.

Completely seriously though, it has absolutely no thorough understanding of what Twilight Zone was. Which is going to be a point of criticism when you take the name The Twilight Zone and slap it on your brand of "stay woke" dog shit bullshit nonsense.

But yeah, let's see if just making it black and white will change anything on that shitty story telling.

Monday, May 13, 2019

GAME OF THRONES - LOL

GAME OF THRONES - LOL 

Okay, I guess I have to just talk about it because, holy fuck.... what the hell?  I'm really impressed. Completely impressed in fact. Like, you thought the complaints were going to be hitting rock bottom last episode, don't you worry, hold GoT's beere.

It's seriously impressive that Dany went from "I'm kind of irritated at some of these Northerners question my royalty" to "BURN THEM FUCKING DOWN!"  in, like, a couple of episodes. Again, I'm sure this is probably where the story was going to go from the get go, because that's so very G.R.R. Martin, but it took her father years to go from normal to total mass murdering maniac and he didn't even burn down the fucking city like tht. The crazy bitch burned down a city of a million people while her own army was still inside of it.

Can we also ask hot the hell there's still any Dothraki? We really haven't gotten any no sense of scale for these battles, the armies involved, the losses and all that shit. The night king battle looked like it wiped the fucking floor with all of them.

Also, the whole after the episode is also hilariously bad. Listening to the two fools try to ham fit explain why the fucked this all up is really comical. "See, when Dany says let it be fear, that means she is going to do something unpleasant... you see, foreshadowed!"  I'm pretty sure that they thought the white horse scene after all the carnage was really deep and artistic. I read somewhere that the show runners were offered 10 episodes by HBO or the season, but they said "Nah, we can wrap it up in 6" and here we afre.


It's pretty clear that Rhaegal was killed off so moronically for budget reasons alone. Drogon vs Ships could have been a good scene, but the writing that set it all up made it so fucking cheesy and stupid instead of triumphant.

It should have been Viserion and Rhaegel battling each other to the death in the battle with the Night King, so that when Dany came down to Kings Landing, she would have already been on her last dragon, instead they pissed away one dragon to show how bad ass and scary those scorpion bows were when in reality they weren't so bad and just sort of got glossed over anyway because who the fuck cares anymore.

Ultimately my biggest problem with this season isn't with any of the plot elements present to us. All of those actually make a lot of sense and I'm comfortable with them in itself. The Mad Queen emerging, the Night King being killed by Arya, Euron fighting Jaime in the lamest battle for some love situation. That's all fine and dandy.

It's a fucking issue in all this stuff is that how we have gotten from Point A to point B has made NO Goddamn sense what-so-ever. This has been a rush job of the highest order on every possible plot point and level. Logic has flown out the window and it's not coming back. They just are arranging plot events in a row and then forcing them together without the proper setup to get you there.

I love how they took Cersei to the levels of being a monster that was needing a good death or revenge for all the actions she has done over the past 8 seasons, to just dropping some fucking bricks on her where no-one can see her as the punishment to this crime.

By the way, thanks for the heads up about all this shit, Bran. 

If this show doesn't want to get serious with this story telling, why should I? I think it's safe to say that we can all agree that the peasants got what they bloody well deserved.  If you didn't want to be burned by a fucking dragon then you would have voted for someone different than Cersi, am I right? You have only yourself to blame for your socioeconomically situation in Kings Landing

You also have to wonder if Jon simply lied to Dany and said he'd want to keep getting down with the get down, would she have gone and burned everything to the ground because she still has his love? Sure, an awkward time to bring that up when you just roasted one of your high council members, that can effect a man's sex drive greatly, but still, this is something I simply wonder.

On a final note - I'm wondering about all the people who literally did their best to make Daenerys into a moral Princess Leia, breaker of chains and all that jazz. So much so that Daenerys was a popular name in the realm of parents choice of a name for their child. I wonder if now that she committed white genocide, if it's going to get awkward cosplaying her at conventions.  Especially since she just finished turning the folks of Kings landing into a BBQ... All those mothers and children burned to char. Not to mention that it was all done on Mother's day.

But hey, she lost everything. The North will never love her, they killed her dragon, they killed her slave translator, and then both Jon and her Hand betrayed her through the lens of her mentality. Adding insult to injury, Jon refused to fuck her.... and the only thing remaining for her was that "mercy towards future generations, who will never again be held hostage by a tyrant."   Yeah... it's no wonder she snapped.

Friday, May 10, 2019

THE WISDOM OF ROGER STERLING

THE WISDOM OF RODGER STERLING

Even though Mad Men had a huge amount of misogynistic craziness because the era was full of misogynistic womanizing bullshit, and Roger Sterling was one of those highly offending factors in all this, there is some  wisdom that he can impart. He's sort of like your grandpa. You love the man even though he can have some of the most offensive things to say on account of being from a different era so you sort of have to excuse him a bit...



Wednesday, May 8, 2019

DETECTIVE PIKACHU

DETECTIVE PIKACHU 

Basically, I don't know why but I really want to see this movie, so here's this just to pump you up a little more...



That was just all sorts of an hour and a half of goodness. Little cute bugger!

Friday, May 3, 2019

BURGER KING - FEELING THEM FEELS UP IN HERE

BURGER KING - FEELING THEM FEELS UP IN HERE 

I mean, they're not wrong. You gotta feel those feels.



The new unhappy meal is, well, a nice take on the whole thing and well, I enjoy this marketing campaign for what it is. Even though boomers will just say that the youth today is just a bunch of snowflakes.

Thursday, May 2, 2019

ALIEN THE MUSICAL

ALIEN THE MUSICAL 

So a school adapted Alien to a school play and well, here is it.



I'm still lazy

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

DEAD FUCKING WOOD

DEAD FUCKING WOOD 

Just another 30 days and we get to finally, FINALLY, after more than 10 fucking years, see another Dead Wood episode and I can't fucking believe that this shit is finally here. So many teasing, so much hope and so much crushing reality that it wasn't going to happen for all this fucking time.

This new trailer just makes me so happy.




Monday, April 29, 2019

PAUL RUDD - AMERICA'S ASS

PAUL RUDD - AMERICA'S ASS

No Paul, you're really America's ass and I love it. The man is comedic gold in the most effortless way as well as completely ageless in every possible way. I'm not sure how he does it but I'm pretty sure the real Avenger that everyone wants to be like is Paul Rudd.

Now here's more proof why.


Sunday, April 28, 2019

A SONG OF FIRE AND VANILLA ICE

A SONG OF FIRE AND VANILLA ICE 

Well, it's the day. This is going to be a shit show of a fucking Game of Thrones episode where you'll probably have all of your favorite characters at the edge and cliffs of potential death. So, how about we just add so sort of levity to this whole thing and try not to get so emotionally, cause this shit is going to be very very rough....



Saturday, April 27, 2019

JENNY OF OLDSTONES

JENNY OF OLDSTONES 

This weekend's Game of Thrones episode may have been more set up to the epic battle of Winterfell that is about to happen, and it's a given that it will be a hard fought battle with the potential of huge amount of failure and death.

But the song that they sang in it was both beautiful and it probably has a lot of foreshadowing of all the dancing that will be done in the crypt tomorrow. The song, which is basically the song for House Targaryen and a huge hint at what tomorrow's high death count will be like.



So enjoy while I coast right in to just another sort of lazy ass blog post.

Friday, April 26, 2019

AVENGERS ENDGAME - DON'T TALK TO ME

AVENGERS ENDGAME - DON'T TALK TO ME 

I mean, look, the guy isn't wrong.




A little crass? Perhaps, but I say again, he isn't wrong. After Endgame, I'm sure a lot of us will need a solid half hour to contemplate the meaning of it all. I mean, you can only expect at least that much after 11 years of Marvel Movies building up to this.


What I'm saying is.. HE ISN'T WRONG.

Thursday, April 25, 2019

AVENGERS ENDGAME

AVENGERS ENDGAME 

No spoilers, you shouldn't ruin the Endgame for anyone. But 11 years later, we reach the end of this run on this story today. I'm crazy excited. So I'm not going to say much today other than just leave this video....



I'M GONNA FEEL SO MANY FEELS TONIGHT

Monday, April 22, 2019

PRESIDENT DUTERTE HAS A BIG DICK

PRESIDENT DUTERTE HAS A BIG DICK 

I'm sort of confused why we don't hear this sort of thing about Trump more often, but it looks like the Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte just likes to tell everyone that he has a huge dick.

After calling opposition senatorial candidate, Chel Diokno "Ugly", something that he has done many times already, Duterte then said that a man is measured by his character. He then said that a man's good looks won't matter if he has a small penis. This is also not the first time he talked about this. He would have been unhappy if God gave him a tiny penis, he went on to say. The crowds laughed as they typically do.

But Duterte continued on about his dick size that during his trips to the YMCA as a student, he would draw admiration while walking around nude. That he thanks his father for gifting him a long dick genes.

Yup, I'm just... eh... not sure how great it is to talk about it like that. It's something to be a grower and not a shower.  Then again, Duterte is just a piece of shit and we can leave it at that.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

INFLUENCERS ON VACATION

INFLUENCERS ON VACATION 


Tired of dealing with wannabe-instagram "influencers" begging for free shit in exchange for promoting the target of free shit's items, the owner of a beach club in the Philippines decide to take a stand against this stupid action. The manager and co-owner of the White Banana Beach Club on the island of Siargao, Gianluca Casaccia went ape shit at the whole subgroup of leaches in the blogosphere saying
"We are receiving many messages regarding collaborations with influencers, Instagram influencers, we kingly would like to announce that White Banana is not interest to collaborate with self proclaimed influencers and we would like to suggest to try another way to eat, drink and sleep for free. Or try to actually work for a living."

It has gotten to the point where these freeloarders would write shit like "Hi, I'm an influencer, we like your place, we're staying from XXX in February to XXX February, we're three people, you provide food and drinks and we draft an Instagram post and we tag you on our story."

The thought that was your big business model for gathering brand appeal and promotion is fucking crazy. It just goes to show that everyone now a days thinks they're some play maker that can get away with asking for something for literally nothing.

Then again, this shit isn't anything new. Photographers, editors and other media content folks who try to get your material in exchange of "exposure". Yelpers who fucking gave the noun yelper a terrible name because they were demanding little shits.  Influencers is just the new normal of shit heads trying hard to be relevant

This does bring to light the nature of the whole concept of the so-called influencers. Many people just assume because they bought a lot of bots or have a lot of follows that they some how make a difference to anything now. We live in this Kim Kardasian world were folks just want to be famous for existing and it's really sad.

Some got offended by being called out and suggested that their social media manager should have handled it a lot better, but fuck that. you need to cut the weeds in order to survive and the only way you'll do that in this case is by making it as obvious as possible that you aren't handing out free shit to freeloaders.

Even the concept that influencers can provide a huge boost of recognition to the location seems far fetched because now with the digital age, you don't need someone else to prop you up and promote you as much given the fact that there's so many other ways to get promotion for your business in the digital age.

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

YOU'RE THE WORST - THE END

YOU'RE THE WORST - THE END

Now, there's going to be some spoilers in here, but given the fact that you weren't watching this FXX series in it's fifth year, does that really matter?

What does matter is that the show came to a conclusion this week and I can honestly say that I have never seen a show end on a more perfect note that it promised and that was true to the characters as this one did. So much so that Stephan Folk really made the best possible choice for his Dramady sort of romantic comedy and that it ended with being as true to the characters as possible. All too often in romantic comedies, the ending is sort of a quick left turn that you sort of expect to see. Not in this case. While it did have a sort of "Happy Ending", it did so in its own way and I love it so much more for what it did and how it pulled it off.

First off, the characters didn't get married. Let's just say that. They choose to remain together. Everyday choosing to remain in one another life. That, is, well, too true for our generation. The social aspect of marriage, through the decades of increasingly high rates of divorce and the perception that a piece of paper and a vow made in a very expensive day of celebration doesn't mean shit in terms of a bond between two people. In current day it can be broken with the simplest of one side just not wanting it anymore and walking away.

The show was very true to that, and true to the characters, which is something that fully makes me respect and love this ending as much as I do. It knew how to tie a bow to the life of these characters in terms of the story we were seeing and how it would have come to an end. Not like a forced romantic comedy happy ending. These folks are flawed, extremely flawed. But they want to be with one another and going through the whole wedding as some significant ritual was not something they would do.

I have many friends who are also in that situation. Or at least the one where they have kids and basically live life together with one another as if they were married but they are not. This isn't strange and it's not taboo. It is the new normal in the evolution of marriage. Something that is a good thing. Hell, less than 70's years ago the idea of a divorce in the family structure would have been something completely crazy. What would happen to the children and all that. But now it's pretty common to live with someone until you just don't want to continue that relationship any more. Does it make love mean less? Nah. It really doesn't. It is a choice and it's about time that everyone was equal in having that choice to make on their own.

So yeah, I mean, there you go. If you haven't seen this show, it's probably one of my favorite shows as a whole. With moments that are often too real and you'll relate in ways that you probably aren't proud of, to just having a sense of enjoyment in how the characters interact with one another. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

VACCINE SIDE-EFFECTS - NEARLY WIPING OUT HPV

VACCINE SIDE-EFFECTS - NEARLY WIPING OUT HPV

For all of you that just are anti-vaccination, well, you're probably not going to be reading this blog anyway. So me wasting my breath in talking to you would just be better suited in something productive.

But researchers have discovered that the vaccine had led to a 90% cut in pre-cancerous cells and basically those who took the vaccine will be the generation that starts to get more immune to at least this cancer risk. It's great to see that those who were smart 10 years ago are

In the UK, schoolgirls routinely receive HPV vaccine when they're 12 or 13, and for that, it's actually doing some solid good. In Scotland, 90% of the crisis. Their studies concluded that the HPV vaccination program has led to a dramatic reduction in preinvasive cervical disease. So basically, stop trying to prevent progress, you fucking assholes.

Monday, April 15, 2019

CAUSE I'M THE TAX MAN

CAUSE I'M THE TAX MAN 

A funny thing happened ever since Trump became President. You see, twice as many companies are now paying zero taxes under his new tax plan. For all those fuckers complaining about social aid users getting free milk and cheese and basic goods at the market to feed their family, twice as many corporations are just riding off into the sunset

Yup the tax cuts and jobs act lowered the corporate tax rate from 35 percent to 21 percent. In its first year, the number of companies paying NO TAXES went from 30 to 60. Well, if that's not making America great again, I don't know what is.

So while you're scrambling as a taxpayer to make that last minute payment due to the IRS today, many of the country's largest publicly held corporations are dong a lot better, they're reporting that they owe absolutely nothing on the billions of dollars in profits they earned this last year. Isn't that great! That number is more than twice as many as was found last year. So hey, thanks new tax law that went into effect. you're the real winner here.

On a side note, fuck the state.

Sunday, April 14, 2019

GAME OF THRONES

GAME OF THRONES 

Well, the season is finally here. The last of the series in a hand full of episodes. This will be epic, this will be grand. This will be something else entirely and if you spoil it for anyone, someone's gonna die.

Besides all the characters you hope wouldn't. Hey, this is Game of Thrones, yo. That's how shit works. Anyhow, here's something light and funny to fill your time as I totally avoid writing about today since I'm both at Dapper Day and gearing up for a screening party.



Goddamn if the Hound isn't the best character, then you're a bloody fucking cunt that doesn't deserve to have an opinion come out of that cunt mouth of yours.

Saturday, April 13, 2019

GUAC? THAT'LL COST A LOT EXTRA

GUAC? THAT'LL COST A LOT EXTRA

Before I get into this topic, can we just talk about why any place needs to say that Guac will cost extra anymore? I mean, we all know it's not going to be a standard option anywhere. It's always extra and for a good reason - it's fucking good. But it's also just a premium item and anyone who assumes that it doesn't cost a small fee more is just a fucking idiot anyway. Listen, it's just the way of life as a certainty. Death, taxes and guac will always cost extra.

Then again, if Trump's latest veiled threat that is really just another way to have Russia disrupt the U.S Economy as closing the boarder crossing in general would fuck up a lot of commerce. For example, avocados will be pretty much fucked. So much so that according to growers, the U.S. would run out of avocados in three week's time if that happened.

But more important than that, beyond Guac, the entire automotive industry would shut down in a matter of a week if the Mexican boarder was to shut down. Which makes Trump's threat, be it an empty piece of shit one, just that much more ignorant and that more of a threat on our global position. I wonder how the average trump supported just assume that we can go back to only making American when the reality is that the parts that we put all those cars together with or even the other products that everyone used to be proud that it was made in America with just come from all over the world..

But I guess that's the problem. No one really thinks about the small things that you basically have to deal with in making the whole big picture thing.

Either way, I guess Guac may be more expensive to put on your burrito and that's what really matters, right?

Friday, April 12, 2019

DARKLORD FUNK IT UP

DARKLORD FUNK IT UP

Universal is finally embracing the dark side of the Harry Potter Universe. In which Universal Hollywood is finally getting some deatheaters out and about to scare up the crowd of Hogsmeade. A practice that J.K. hasn't wanted to do with the theme parks as she has taken it that Hogwarts not be apart of Horror Nights in the Halloween season.

The closets we have gotten was Universal Tokyo having a bit of fun with deatheaters. But now Universal Hollywood has a Dark Arts projected show and, well, I'm looking forward to it. The preview event was last night and today and, well, I had my fill of Butterbeer in all its glory. The darklord has been kind to me in such fashion. Here's my liquor goblet, just fill it up, yo.

Anyhow, I didn't feel like writing much today, on account that this weekend will be hell-a busy with Harry Potter, Game of Thrones and Dapper Day, so just enjoy this.



Darklord funk you up, indeed.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

NETFLIX WANTS TO BUY THE EGYPTIAN

NETFLIX WANTS TO BUY THE EGYPTIAN  

Gonna go out on left field and say that this is probably a bad idea. The famous Egyptian theater in Hollywood is the latest target that Netflix wants to own. And I guess it's because they have been dealing with a situation that if the Hollywood Guild has their way, movies that AREN'T in theaters aren't going to be allowed the privilege of getting awards glory. So you buy the theater and you can check that shit off your list as you do a limited couple of nights screening of your film at this theater and there you go.

So what's all the bad that could happen from this? Let's go back a way. Studios owning theaters was probably one of the most clearest examples of vertical intergration, that is to say, a cautionary tale in the whole monopoly aspect of this field. We literally have done this before and it was complete shit and why the fuck would we dare do it again?

So I see Netflix owning a theater as something that can completely go fuck itself with their in home-made content. I want a streaming service to do one fucking thing and that one thing is only to stream as much of the existing content to me it owns as possible in my home. I wish they'd work on that core aspect of the whole thing. If they have a show, have all the seasons of that show for me to tackle whenever the fuck I want. I wish they'd work on the core

I guess they just want to show that they have "Respect" for old school cinema, but this is not the hill that they should try to die on because fuck you, it's a historic theater.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR A BALL GAME

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR A BALL GAME 

It's baseball season, and it's really my favorite time of the year. I just love the smell of the game in the area, the way the stadium looks and feels




Then he was back to do it again




Oh my goodness, the way that ball moves. It's just too much. That is some crazy late breaking movement on that ball that is already going 99 miles, I just can't really understand how it moves that way.

Anyhow, catch me at a ball game this season, cause damn it, I want to go out to a ball game.

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

I MADE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR, IF IT KILLED ME

I MADE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR, IF IT KILLED ME 

I'll be blunt and say that today is April 7th, 2019 and I have come a long way since April 7, 2018. Back then it was a rough time. I mean, really rough. My relationship of almost 10 years just basically ended in not a bang, but a whimper. A lame ass "take a break" which was just a chicken shit method to slowly rip off the bandaid of the relationship a week before.

But this was already known. What was also known was that for the past four years prior to that I had been dealing with the death of my father, who I had a huge amount of unresolved issues with and who left a mess the likes of which only a hurricane could rival.

What I didn't know was that the year was not done with me. The following year would test me to no end in my ability to handle some bullshit that was thrown at me. In the way of a foreclosure situation with my Mother's home and then dealing with a fraudulent investment she made with a neighbor that I had to do a lot of work to collect. On top of that I was still trying to salvage the relationship as best as I could and be the supporting partner that I had been for the last ten years of the relationship.

Late in the year when I finally resolved the foreclosure and the money was attained, my mother had a huge health scare that rocked me and for the following months weighed me down in helping in ways that broke me and tested me to no end. Life can not be said to be kind to me on any of these things. 

I can honestly say, breathing in the air of now being 39, that nothing was handed to me. This was one of the most difficult years I have ever endured. But I did it. So while I've posted this before, I look back at laugh at me back then not realizing how bad it could get and more to the point, how much I can endure and survive through. Because I did. I fucking did. You hear that, life?  Fuck you.


Monday, April 8, 2019

SEVEN DAYS UNTIL WE'RE BACK IN THE REALM

SEVEN DAYS UNTIL WE'RE BACK IN THE REALM

Only seven more days until Game Of Thrones airs the last of the episodes and we come to the conclusion of this epic series. So hey, here's a little bit of a leisure day of writing as I'll distract you with no blog post with this fountain show.



For the Throne... how about from another angle.


Sunday, April 7, 2019

LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE

LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE

Lately I have heard a lot of folks telling me that they see my social media and think that I'm living the best life I could be. That I'm a true Renascence sort of man to just be a jack of all trades and well, just flat out taking in all these awesome experiences.

The truth is, I don't know if this is my best life. I mean, I'm enjoying it and I'm letting my creative side come out a lot more these days for myself, but am I living my best life? I think the issue really at hand is that you don't know if you're truly happy until you basically gotten through it and then it's still another chase in trying to get the next thing that brings you happiness. It's a strange sort of constant worry that you keep going after.

It makes sense, I mean, if you have nothing to starve for, no drive.... then you die. That's why retirement really sucks. You do nothing. You don't have your hobbies anymore. But, you know, you need that drive. But that drive is the same thing tricking your mind into the concept that you aren't happy to make you go after it.

Pretty sick if you ask me.Vicious cycle. Now I'm just trying to do the best for myself to keep my enjoyment for the moment and keeping in the moment to make sure I'm aware that I am living not only for the best life for myself, but being aware that I have been doing a solid amount of things that should make me proud that I am doing it.

Living my best life, one day at a time.

Saturday, April 6, 2019

KING NABONDIUS WAS EMO AS FUCK

KING NABONDIUS WAS EMO AS FUCK 

King Nabonidus wasn't about getting stood up, as you can find in the discovery from the Liberty University through this 6th century BCE Neo Babylonian king's break up letter ever discovered.

Yes, that's right. We seem to have proof of the first break up letter ever to be written according to the discovery of this archeologist work to be found.

“News has reached me via the Upper Euphrates that you were visiting with my childhood friend Nisaba. I am devastated by this betrayal, as you are one of my favorite concubines. You have until the end of the month to pick up your flax shawls and sandals or else I will donate them to the temple of the moon god.”



Bitch, get yo shit and GET OUT!  Just makes you realize that jilted lovers transcend all time and space, and that's some classy as fuck sort of way to break up with someone.



Friday, April 5, 2019

A SERIOUS CONVERSATION ABOUT A SERIOUS MAN

A SERIOUS CONVERSATION ABOUT A SERIOUS MAN 

Since we're nearing Passover and my deli intake is through the roof, I tell ya, I should really slow down. But what do I know. I'll just sit here, go ahead and ignore more. What's one old culturally Jewish person's opinion after all?

Anyhow, back to passover. Well, not just passover, I wanted to have a serious conversation about A Serious Man. a Coen Brother's film that was so overlooked and is frankly, the most spot on Jewish quintessential "modern", be it mid-century modern story about the religion. Here's the trailer



Now, that was in true fashion very Coen Brothers, but this, Lebowski aside, is probably my favorite Coen Brothers film ever. It spoke to me in a way I can't even begin to describe. I mean, I guess the all in Yiddish cold opening isn't as inviting to the average Lebowski quoter, but let's just get it out of the way, it sets the tone of the film so well. The message that sometimes bad things just keep happening to you and well, you must receive it all in simplicity. Or shit, maybe we're just cursed. Or maybe it is what it is.

It doesn't hold your hand and it's very much a great film world all its own. I mean, I probably can go on for hours, but this video sums it all up on why I love the film, the message and the way it treats you as if you aren't some stupid person.





Thursday, April 4, 2019

ROBO CALLS

ROBO CALLS

At this point in our society the worst thing you can do with a cell phone is actually make a phone call with it. You see people constantly on speaker phone talking to someone on the other side of that line, who you can tell everything that is being said because they just feel like they could just shout at one another and get everyone involved in this conversation that shouldn't even be happening. And why? Because holding up a phone to your ear now may as well just press so many more buttons that you'll lose said call.

On top of that, I don't know when the last time I answered a call I got from a number I didn't recognize. Everything goes straight to voice mail if I don't know you or have your name in my contacts already. Why? Because of fucking robocalls.

In the coming year, over 40% off all the network traffic of calls will be robo calls trying to sell you something or in most cases I have dealt with, trying to scam you in some way shape or form. So that has lead to this conclusion that we should just text one another. Straight up the future of communication is just using one sentence statements every couple of hours and injecting emoji's and funny gifs.

Because again, what sort of monster actually calls one another to communicate and exchange words in real time. I'm pretty sure that it's the main reason why social interactions in person are getting harder for all of those that I have dealt with lately. It's all about making a statement, getting some sort of reaction, if that at all, and then just sort of awkward silence it for a bit.

I mean, let's be real, the FCC will not do shit about this robocall situation because there's money to be made and the top 10 percent of calls being made are lame ass attempts to collect on debt by major companies - who have a lot of pull and if they feel like attempting to squeeze blood from a stone in this manner gets them some sort of results, I guess they'll just try to continue to do so.

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

US

US

I'm going to make a hot take here. I didn't think US was great. In fact, I thought it was a hot mess of a sophomoric outing and I'm a little annoyed by it. First off, none of the funny shit was actually funny. None of the scary shit was actually scary.

I enjoy laughing at movies and I'm consistently scared by even the lamest scary movie. I'm not a hard mark to get across either of those two emotions.  But when I got home I slept like a fucking baby without any small ounce of concern or even effected by the message. It had very little spook factor to it all even though it's a film that was billed as a home invasion horror. The home invasion stuff is a small part of the film and not even that was all that remarkable.

Also, it did not think that the movie should have been a whole two hours long. I mean, when someone ask Alexa to call the police and it plays "Fuck the police" by NWA, I mean.. el oh el, but then again, they don't follow that up and write it off as just the system is overwhelmed. It was filled with a lot of groan worthy moments and it seemed like every actor was in a different movie. You could have cut out the rest of the family and the movie would have been 40 minutes shorter and a lot more interesting to do just a character study of the sort of invasion of the body snatcher concept.

It also wasn't very deep. It wanted to be filled with symbolism and it was basically a "I'm 14 and this is deep" level of thought process to the whole fucking thing. Wouldn't it be so fucked up if this tethered lady doppelganger smothered make-up on it's face. As if the clone wants to be hooooooooooman. Let's spend 8 minutes on this roaringly deep concept even though the tethered version would have put on make up a billion times by this time in their connected life. 

When the twist came about at the end, It felt like someone slapped a three week old fish on the counter and acted as if this was some catch of the day. It just tried too fucking hard. Which I don't mind if it fails on that part, but the ride throughout the movie was not worth the pay out. I would be better about it if the trek through the film was at least funny or scary or enjoyable

Then there's this plot hole that I can't scratch. It's like the fundamental motivation of the characters and it's all strange. Why set up a rule that the up-side people control their tethers? Then just have it break, only to be used in certain instances again when it was needed like with the little boy and the fire pit.

Aren't horror films suppose to have a more stern approach to their rules that they themselves establish? Isn't that the device that allows you to suspend disbelief and enjoy yourself? This movie just shits all over them for the sake of a scare.  If the tethered people could ignore the puppet rules sometimes, why does that kid walk backwards in to the fire? If they can ignore the rules, why is it such a big deal that they're puppets. They made a big stink about it in the down below area that they were forced to mimic all these actions and it just didn't make any fucking sense any more.
 

 You have this government situation that they were doing this cloning shit just to mind control folks? Like, what the fuck was the point of all that bullshit? Especially in the era that the movie started. That just seemed silly. Also, the fucking rabbits. what's the point of all that anyway?

They made a big deal about how "Red" had to rip a baby out of her clawing it. Like, what the fuck was that about? That the control was so strong that the little boy burned himself constantly, not really explaining why the fuck the little kid clone was face burned other than, I guess it was cool to show it that way? No clue. 
 
Now that I think about it, why the fuck did they do the hands across America statement if they were just going to kill their tethered person. Like, who the fuck was that even for? I love Peele, he has a good eye for freaky shit, but this was just a mess. This was an Episode 1 sort of thing where Lucas didn't have anyone who had the balls to tell him that his idea isn't very good and he should consider condensing it down or something.    

More than anything, he needs someone to tell him that he should really lay off that tear going down people's face. I mean, the guy just loves doing that shit. And while I'm only a few hours away from watching the new Twilight Zone, where his social commentary would be better suited in a proper place, I felt this was a total misfire as a horror and as a social commentary. It's just totally inept at generating any menace or sense of building tension. The "tethered" shadows.

In general, I felt like the fundamental conceit of the film failed and if that fundamental idea of the movie doesn't hold water, then I can't give it a pass to all the other issues with the tone and the writing of it. I think the line "We're Americans.." line is where I started to really hate the movie I was watching. 

I get that I'm in the minority in this opinion and well, that's perfectly fine. I'm not trying to make you change your opinion on the film we both watched, but the flaws just are too big for myself to move past it.

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

I'M PREGNANT!!

I'M PREGNANT! 

Oh wait, yesterday was the day to do that stupid comment on social media and other spots to family members and what not. Which can we talk about that for a second? I never understood why it would be of my concern or even care if you told me that you were pregnant on April fool's day. It's along with other comments like "I LOST MY JOB! OH NO!" and faking injuries. You clearly think too highly of yourself in this situation and assume that I care.

The thing is this - no one cares about April fool's day jokes because they are low hanging fruit and often are worse than puns, which I have been told is my taste and all that, but isn't as highly viewed as other senses of humor.

Anyhow, back to talking shit about folks who self depreciate or make themselves the mark on this past April fool's day. I say that you're really not doing it right. Even using yourself as an example of getting something that isn't offered up. I saw a slew of  "I got myself _____ tickets" or some nonsense that in today's modern era of internet can be figured out is a flat out lie or just not the case, then your quick ruse is just... well, a little sad.

Anyhow, by mid day of the fowl day of Fools I was already not feeling any sort of prank as clever or even witty. I just have to say if you're going to partake, at least take some pride in actually doing something that everyone can find comical. You know how in stand up when the comedian picks on that one guy to make everyone else laugh? Well, yeah, you need to do that. You need to find your mark and honestly, if you make everyone else the mark than it's not really all that entertaining for the rest of us to actually enjoy. It's almost as if you're just trying to amuse yourself and no one likes a stingy person like that. 

On a side note, maybe I have trust issues because every year my inbox has a slew of promotional April birthday free meal offers and discounts from the many many online sites I have stupidly given my email to. And it happens to land on April 1st as the beginning of that wave of freebies which makes me question if it's a joke or an actual thing I just got for reals.

I forgot to include the "we're getting married" comments on social media. look, NO ONE CARES. stop acting like they do.

Monday, April 1, 2019

IT'S APRIL FIRST, JUST LOG OFF OF THE INTERNET

IT'S APRIL FIRST, JUST LOG OFF THE INTERNET

I'm honestly telling you for your own sake. Just log off. Nothing good happens on this day on the internet. Everyone assumes they're some comedic lords and it's the most annoying stupid pranks possible. You're better off just logging off and coming back online tomorrow. Because today will be nothing but half assed jokes that you will see well through any of them as sad attempts of humor.

Think Geek will come up with stupid products you know they wont produce. Nerdist will do a lot of dumb shit that you wouldn't even believe on a normal day. I mean, the whole internet thinks they are some witty mother fuckers today and you just have to chalk it up as this is just some stupid day that you just need to avoid the internet on.

Walk away. It's not worth it.

Sunday, March 31, 2019

NO SMOKING IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM

NO SMOKING IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM 

As of May 1st, your dumb ass can't smoke in any of the Disney Parks anymore. So yeah, we get it bro, you vape. We know it because of the amount of car wars scented smelling smoke that comes out of your face hole every now and then in the most smug way ever ten minutes. But we also just assume that you can live your life without that hit from the pipe. I mean, otherwise you're just as addicted to the e-cig alternative as you would have on the cancer sticks.

Anyhow, the whole concept of smoking at Disney is a bit moronic. I guess I'm saying this as a non-smoker. I would ride on Big Thunder and, well, that shit has gotten bad lately because of that smoking area that is in the back area. On some of the rides there has been times when I would just get taken through a big puff of god awful smoke that would make me feel like I just took a couple of hits from someone's vape machine or cigars.

Add to that, once Star Wars land opens, that whole area will be a bottle neck area to get into the whole Star Wars area anyway. So if they were to keep that area being a smoking area, that would be some pretty shitty thing to do for all those who were walking into the land of Star Wars' Galaxy Edge.... end... I honestly don't know the name truthfully as I assume no one knows it, but they all know it as the Star Wars area that will be a complete cluster fuck for the first two months.

But yeah, On may 1st, all of the parks, including the magic kingdom, epcot, animal kingdom, DCA, Hollywood Studios and the water parks will be completely smoke free and I couldn't be any happier about that fact. Am I being mean towards smokers? Look, that's your problem. I am a crushing alcoholic and at least I have a few options, but for the longest time I wouldn't be able to drink in the Disney parks, at least not all of them and I survived. You will find ways to survive as well.

Saturday, March 30, 2019

I DON'T NEED NO FRIENDS

I DON'T NEED NO FRIENDS

I'm not socially isolated and alone. I swear, It's just that I'm to damn cool to need friends and you noobs just can't handle how cool I actually am. I am far too busy doing rad shit all by myself to waste time arranging for friends to join in the fun. Having to take turns and share the awesome would just slow me down anyway.

I don't need a fucking buddy system or someone holding my hand to not get lost on an excursion. I don't need a bunch of dudes cramping my style. I don't to share my kickass thoughts and perfectly healthy emotions. I am the party. I am the night. I am the squad. I am the goals. I am the bros. I am supportive relationship. I am.... all that I need.

I also don't have any siblings either, you know, no one to bring down my style from the same womb. They closed that mofo down after I came out because that just shows that I'm basically all that this world needed. Even if I'm at the club and some chode is eyeballing me with all his bois and looking to step up to me, I don't feel like the 5 vs 1 is going to be any sort of disadvantage.

Look, I'll be the first to say that choosing to relax in the comfort of the metal locker all during Highschool is basically what I just want to live out my day. I feel sorry for all you jocks stuck out there in nowheresville.

It's no wonder why I'm single: the women in this town are terrible. What sort of masochistic wimp would want to be burdened with that? Women be falling apart out here still thinking men are the ones that need to put the work in. These girls have blank resumes but extensive health records (see: mental). The so-called "ladies" here are only not homeless or living with their parents by virtue of always having a man to crash with. Well the rent I'm worth paying is too high for them. This dick ain't free. Broke-ass locals can't afford me.

I am too fucking cool for this relationship shit, but I'm not so shallow that I can jive with casual sex. I'm too deep and thoughtful for hook ups and flings. Deep in a cool way. I'm like a philosopher, but one of the cool ones who speaks deep ass truths but can party equally with monks or rockstars. These basic bitches wouldn't get me and I don't see the value in dumbing it down for such an unworthy audience.

In short, I'm pretty awesome if I do say so myself.  So fuck off with your friendship bullshit. 


Friday, March 29, 2019

THAT DAMN REPORT

THAT DAMN REPORT

Look, are we going to talk about how a couple hundred page report got boiled down to 3-4 page run down by some bias, on the pay sort of fella? I mean yeah. I guess we are. But let's also throw it out, anyone expecting a smoking gun out of all this was expecting too much.  It's hard to hide "collusion" that was in flat out plane sight. You can't really ask a foreign leader to hack your opponent and then it happens that night and not just chalk it up as straight up collusion in your face.

But also, I'm just really tired of hearing about it. We have been down this road for the last two years and it's just boring as all fuck now a days. I'm also just  really tired of the media reporting on this on both sides that act as if this is some sort of winning side that, well, this has been a 2 year build up and you expect this to be over so soon? nah man, this is going far more months or years in appeals and request of documents to be released. It's far too soon for anyone to assume that there's the ability to make a victory lap on all of this.

What insight do I have on all this? Honestly, I have none. I'm tired of it. We all know that Trump is fucking goddamn crooked as a two dollar bill.... wait, those actually exist? Here I thought that the post office was just trying to rip me off. Okay, Three dollar bill. That's what I meant to say.

Anyway, stop assuming that the report was going to take him down. Worry not, his stupidity will be doing the majority of the work on this anyway. He continues to just do whatever the fuck he wants and it will eventually catch up to him. Just... yeah, this week has been rough because it's all been sort of one side won instead of, you know, the continuous slow uncovering of all this nonsense. 

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Jussie Smollett The Movie

Jussie Smollett   The Movie

I'm not even sure how to fully grasp what has happened with the life of Jussie Smollett, I don't want to say star ore  tv show because, he's really like, a nobody. But the dud has done some strange shit up in Chicago and now after faking his own hate crime and getting so caught red handed because the whole fucking thing was stupid.  The story thus far could be summed up in this video



But, you know that isn't the end of the story by any means. I mean, now the Chicago police department took on basically a 10k bail bond forfeit and time off on past community service and the fact that he's gay. As the court claims, though Jussie Smollett is doubling down on it all and saying it was cleared and he's got nothing on him, it's  really so strange and I'm wondering when it will have an end to this very very strange roller coaster ride of a media craze

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

ITS GOING TO BE STRANGE WHEN HOWARD STERN DIES

ITS GOING TO BE STRANGE WHEN HOWARD STERN DIES


Just think about it. I mean, I know you haven't really thought about Howard Stern in a long time. It's been like more than a decade since he went off the air on radio and went to what was suppose to be the next big thing - satellite radio. But just imagine what happens to the pocket universe he created. All those hanger ons who still are obsessed with him and with his employees. Te entirety of Fat lonely Long Island, Westchester and New Jersey fuck faces are going on like this extinction level event of revolting pieces of shit that have made Stern their entire reason for living. Without him, they will just be laid low like the Nazi's at the end of Raiders. Their faces melting, their sweatpants foaming with molecular disintegration.

I wonder about this stuff. And when it happens, and the fucking implosion that it leaves in its wake with this particular subset of human folks. It's going to be some seriously funny shit. I'm a west coaster and don't give a fuck about this asshole. I do wonder that if he really cared about his audience, he'd fake his own death just to cull the herd for all of our entertainment. I also wonder about Robin. He main job is to just to laugh at stupid jokes and agree with everything he says and is probably a millionaire by now. But in the grand scheme of things she's just there so that his nonsense doesn't get to crazy and he can have a token black friend to shield him of his bullshit.

Whatever humor was left in his show died when Artie Lang left. So I mean, there's that. Artie himself, still not dead somehow. Which amazes me since the dude should be dead twenty times over by now. But I'm sure that when Howard dies, there will be a sort of Kurt Cobain like display of bawling rejects, suicides, and autiscally cringe youtube videos ripe for the snickering.

I will say this. Howard is a decent celebrity interviewer. He likes to break down the walls to whomever he talks to and exposes them for who they really are and not the image they try to project. In some ways, that was probably the only treat that his show held. In cutting the image they try to project and getting to the core of the person. 

People treated his show as some sort of confessional or public courtroom to set rumors straight because he would cut the crap and get to the heart of it all. Then again, he'd just ask relatively inncouous question and then immediately casually follow it up with something like "so how many women did you have n the set of this movie? I mean, sexually... come on, like at least five?"
which, I guess is one way to cut the bullshit but at the same time is sort of the stuff that later just made me hate him so much,.

So yeah... when he dies... sure will be interesting. 

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

ONE SMALL STEP FOR WOMEN, ONE EVEN SMALLER EQUIPMENT

ONE SMALL STEP FOR WOMEN, ONE EVEN SMALLER EQUIPMENT 

In a very strange twist of... well, just random news, an all women first space walk by NASA was postponed because, and get this... a shortage of outerwear.

I don't even know what the hell is that about. But it was an a NASA planned all female spacewalk and it isn't happening because the agency doesn't have enough spacesuits to fit the astronauts. I'm not even sure how the fuck that makes any sort of sense and more than anything, for an agency that has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to come up with equipment like pens that write upside down, you would think that putting together the funds to get all the astronauts properly equipped for the damn mission.

This is ground control... and we just don't have any fucking clue how to properly dress our space people. It comes about because McClain found that the medium size upper torso shirt fit her best, but the agency said that only one such top can be made by the launch on Friday. So now the trip looks to be postponed until the 8th of April. Which just seems like an overall strange situation that has happened and a really odd reason for a space mission to just not happen.

And here we are with more proof that there is a glass ceiling. Specifically one that is around the whole space program. Go figure.

Monday, March 25, 2019

JOHN OLIVER AND GUN CONTROL

JOHN OLIVER AND GUN CONTROL 

Since there wasn't a new Last Week Tonight yesterday, here's a little John Oliver action from his days on the daily Show which was one of the best segments he ever did.



Followed by this one..


Truly some amazing work.

Sunday, March 24, 2019

IRISH CAR BOMBS

IRISH CAR BOMBS

Even though we're well past the zone of Irish Car Bomb drink orders, I still want to talk some fucking sense in to you fuckers to stop ordering the drink like hat. You know, I'll cut you a lot of slack and just say you can just say to the bartender that you want an Irish Slammer. Then again, by all means, do not dare order anything of the such outside of American because you will be a huge asshole.... more so than you already are.

The creation of the Irish Car Bomb was invented in Connecticut bar by a bartender named Charles Oat. It happened on St Patrick's Day 1976, with a shot that was made up of Jameson Irish Whiskey, Kahlua and Bailey's Irish Cream. I mean, let's just say I don't know what the Kahlua is doing in there, but by all means let's just ignore that for a moment. But the shot getting dropped in a shot's name IRA, which by all means was talking about the Irish Republican Army. 

Thus they took that IRA shot and dumped it into the typical Guinness and well, there you go. They claim that they were never making light of the Troubles in Northern Ireland... you know, the decades-long conflict that resulted in more than 3,500 deaths. Of course Oat never considered all those lives... but you name a drink after a major tool used through the Troubles and, well... let's just say I don't buy that it wasn't some bar room humor that really has no place in the current political climate.

Even if the owner has gone on record saying;
 “IRA and Carbomb are ‘cool’ in the bar scene, but in the reality of today NOT.”

Gee, thanks for that reassurance. Either way, the drink has been created, so I just ask, order it some other way. It's a tasty drink, it's just a tasteless name. 

Saturday, March 23, 2019

JUMPING THE GUNN

JUMPING THE GUNN

Last week it was announced that Disney reinstated James Gunn as the writer and director of Guardians of the Galaxy. He originally got fired because some right wing assholes pointed out some deep dives of his tweeter and found some rape joke from ten years ago. After the firing and post many occasions to discuss the situation with Gunn, and how he handled the apology of the situation, Alan Horn, Disney Studios chairman, decided to reverse course and own up to jumping to quickly on this one.

It's nice to see someone admit that they were wrong instead of doubling and tripling down on it as it all too common in this day and age. Though, it would be pretty tragic or awkward if we found out that he's some huge pedophile after he died. I mean, that would make us all who fought for him to get re-instated, because let's be frank, Guardians of the Galaxy only worked because he was a part of it guiding it to what it became and where it would be going. Without him... well, what's even the fucking point of a GotG without him, I ask?
 
Not even with Taika Waititi taking over would it have the same feeling. It just was a bad thing that I could not even think of anyone else who would bring the same level of enjoyment as a director to that franchise than James Gunn. 
 
Now you have folks like James Woods, who the fuck gives a shit about what he has to say anyway. He's James Woods. Anyhow, you have him mouthing off about how Disney isn't calling back Roseanne to come back as if it was even closely similar of a situation. You know, James Gunn saying something 10+ years ago vs. a woman who double down on racial comments that no one should have had to listen to. As if this was some sort of battle field. 

Cause you know, much like Facebook, twitter and apple. Disney is straight up not a capitalist corporation looking for the right amount of money coming in vs. money going out. Clearly it's a Democratic Socialist organization fighting for equality and is at the forefront of wokeness. How can all you sheeple not see this!?! 

Okay, if you didn't pick up on sarcasm on that, you're clearly a Russian bot. You should check your wokeness levels. 

That's what bothered me the most about this whole situation. You don't think that in the course of a guy's 20-30 year career making films, mostly as a Troma guy, a company that has the most balls to the walls out there in terms of what is appropriate and what probably wouldn't get a laugh from the normal general public, but you don't think that in that time frame that he would grow and change and stop making as many intentionally inflammatory jokes as he did when he was young? That he can somehow be a completely different person now through the course of life lessons, experiences and understanding of what probably isn't going to be a huge troll of a comment? 

On top of that, you hired him knowing full well of his history in film making, most of which would never even fly in the world of Touchstone or Miramax, but you put him on the lead of a major Marvel movie, not only does he bring you lightning in a bottle once, but twice and majorly impacts the cinematic universe you hired him for. But then you fault him for shit you full on well know and had scrubbers searching for in the PR world for years now?

That's what gets me. There was nothing absurd about Gunn's situation until the part where some weird twitter nazi managed to trick some corporate dunces with out of context tweets from yesteryear and then have them eat their own.

 I'm sure if it was to be upheld, Disney would just go on and avoid this situation in the future by never hiring a capable writer-director to oversee a franchise ever again, because clearly they fucked up or something, right?

While I have you on the topic of the marvel movies. I will continue to insist that the marvel movies aren't all the same and that gripe is fucking silly as all hell. They're all a continuous interconnected story.  Each movie is like another issue in a stack of comic books, which crazy enough is what they're suppose to feel like. You wouldn't look at a stack of comic books and say "ugh, those are all the fucking same" would you? Did anyone ever blast whoever wrote the Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew of Agatha Christie for making a bunch of shit that's all the same?

Friday, March 22, 2019

NATURE'S CLOSED, GO AWAY

NATURE'S CLOSED, GO AWAY

With the sudden influx of rain that hit the Southern California area over the past few months, something strange happened that has gotten people to really care about going out and taking in nature, despite it's constant warning signs that you should do no such thing in the form of allergies and pollen telling you to get the fuck away like some rattlesnake's rattle.

We now have a super bloom of vegetation. Which, in general the last time this happened social media wasn't as prevalent as it is today with so many goddamn influencesrs and models. So we had a really cool thing that folks who enjoyed nature went out to view.

But this is why we can't have nice things. With the ever growing lust to get that perfect instagram photo that will get you so many likes and attention that you will fill the void in yourself from actually socializing and having to, you know, actually have some sort of personality to be liked, all these folks rushed out to those fields and destroyed them to the point that, well, a lot of the areas are just closing down access to the very simple thing of nature.

;Let that sink in. Nature is closed to the public because you simply didn't know how to behave yourself. Now you should be ashamed of yourself but it's true and it's fucking sad beyond all measure.

"No additional shuttles or visitors will be allowed into Walker Canyon. This weekend has been unbearable for Lake Elsinore"

Which goes on and says it all. You fucking people are the goddamn worst and this is why we can't have anything nice and we should all deserve the ill timed fate that we will probably die of our own stupid undoing because let's just say it again, we can't even be trusted to conduct ourselves with some sort of small common sense when visiting a bunch of plants.

No! You fuckers have to basically trample it all when taking that picture of you hanging out in a field because clearly that is how carefree and happy you are and what you normally do when you're sadly depressingly scrolling through Instagram trying to figure out how you can be as happy and infulencing as the person you are liking the photo of. Ironically, their smile is a fake as well and they are trying to figure out how to be as happy as the next person they scroll up their feed.

It's all a vicious cycle when you think about it but hey, why don't you NOT trample the potential of circle of life vegetation that can plant many more fields of pretty poppy's if you hadn't just stepped all over those potential pollination flowers.

Way to go. Please go away now.

“We will evaluate all options next week, including ways to shut this down,” Lake Elsinore said on its Facebook page. “Thank you for your understanding. We know it has been miserable and has caused unnecessary hardships for our entire community.”

You people make me fucking sick. 

Thursday, March 21, 2019

SNITCHES GET STITCHES


SNITCHES GET STITCHES

Or, you know securities fraud put on them. 

This a bit of a funny story of all around stupidity. You see, while you're hearing talk about the whole college admission scandal, the way it all got kicked off in terms of being exposed was a proud Yale father just thought this was too much and was the whistle blower for the damn thing. Well, he originally exposed it when a soccer coach at Yale allegedly offered to get his daughter in for a fee. 

"Mr. Tobin was being questioned in an alleged pump-and-dump investment scheme—in which people conspire to inflate the price of a stock so they can sell it at a profit—when he offered a tip to federal authorities in an effort to obtain leniency, according to people familiar with the matter."

I mean, talk about scum trying to turn on scum. Such a triggered man, but don't think it was for good reasons that he did it. He was just saving his own ass in the grand scheme of things. Ended up wearing a wire and exposed that for his daughter, he coach would charge him 450k just to get her into the school. 

Man, I hope all these folks just rot.




Wednesday, March 20, 2019

DAVID LYNCH AND HIS ZEN LIKE STATE

DAVID LYNCH AND HIS ZEN LIKE STATE

Which is really not what is happening here. Just watch David Lynch get really pissed off during the filming of Twin Peaks The Return. Which, let's be honest, we should all be angry at him for how weird and strange and not very Twin Peaks feeling it was



Yup, He mad

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

COLLEGE, NOT FAIR, AND WHAT MONEY GETS YOU

COLLEGE, NOT FAIR AND WHAT MONEY GETS YOU

I'm about to talk about this latest scandal that hit this week where two celebrities and a slew of other rich mother fuckers did something that shouldn't come to a surprise to anyone. They threw money at a problem they had to fix it. The problem they had is that their children were too stupid to get good scores and into the college of their choice on their own merits and so mommy and daddy became a helicopter parenting situation and just handled it for them.

This should not come to a surprise to anyone. Folks have been paying to get favors for their children for a long time. It just means that right now you can go "See, this is unfair and that's why I didn't get into the college of my choice!" to which I say, shut the fuck up. You didn't get into the college of your choice because your high expectations of what college is actually for is dumb anyway.

Life is unfair. That's the reality. Those who have social and economic foot above yourself will always get what they want because that is what it is. Life being unfair. It's also not even the issue here. Because folks are using examples of donating millions to the university to get a new building put in for the favor of getting their relatives or offspring into the school - that is not the case here.

This is a bit different in that they committed fraud to do so. By making fake ID's with sports on their record as well as literally helping them with the right answers on SAT questions, the people they were bribing was for low values and the bigger issue, the one that they are going after them for here is because that money they used to pay off these scams was being written off of their taxes. Which, let's just say that Al Capone went to jail not because of his acts as a bootlegger, but because he avoided paying taxes. You can cheat the system all you want, but when you don't give Uncle Sam his proper payment, you are going to get fucked.

Let's touch on another thing. Those fake ID's that showed those kids as sports participants, come on, like your asses didn't lie all the way to the top in terms of your college letters and recommendations. People lie all the fucking time and it's just not fair for the next guy who isn't putting their finger on the scale in terms of being this perfect acceptance recipient to this college.

The bigger issue here, and the one I think folks are missing out of all of it is that you got to realize that you are putting these colleges up on a pedestal in all the wrong ways. Stop acting like going to USC or UCLA is the best of the whole aspects. As we learned in this economic standing it's a worthless paper if you go to that college and you don't know or have a clear focus on what the fuck you actually want to be in life and do with your career. You'll just be pissing away a lot of time and money trying to find something you will give a damn for.

We shouldn't be focus on getting into a good school more than we should give kids the ability to fuck around a bit and especially, I feel, not have them make hundred thousand dollar debt choices when they can't even fucking buy alcohol or rent a car. How the hell do you think they will know what they want. Community college isn't a terrible fucking thing, you know. You're putting too much worth on the school's name on that degree than you are actually doing something in finding what your passion is for without going into a lot of student loan debt.

Most of all, life is not fair. Remember that. Just embrace that suck and you'll be a little more at ease on the whole thing and not be so bitter that some rich fuckers did what they were going to do from the get go. Buy their way into the means that they feel they want to be in a social setting.

Monday, March 18, 2019

A DAY WITHOUT THE INFLUENCERS

A DAY WITHOUT THE INFLUENCERS

Picture this, a world where normal people putting on way too much make up and showing off their bodies try to sell you products and attach themselves to brands by association because their normal day to day life is so fucking boring and pathetic. Using different filters to attempt to grab attentions and "likes" from strangers on said post. Now think of a day when you don't have that happening and everyone is equal. That's what life was like for one brief day.


On Wednesday both Facebook and Instagram had major issues in not loading up and, well, basically becoming useless apps that you couldn't escape the harsh realities of life with. Making you go back to a time when our ancestors used fire and actually socialized with one another to pass the time. Perhaps even think and maybe to some degree, had to actually pay attention to the surroundings around them as they waited for the metro. Think of all the magazines that finally got picked up and read again in waiting rooms across the world.

Another thing that was a fallout from that.... several billion men and women lost that ability to say that they were models. Without Instagram to be self referential on those credentials, how could you prove that you were an actual model. Not by having any actual paid work or spread that wasn't just some retweet or regrammed IG.

I think we are all a little shocked at how we survived this day without influencers. Who could I turn to in order to fulfill that need of telling me what their favorite products are and why you should also buy them or use them or shop at said stores. I mean, let's be real, these folks aren't actually getting paid to shill these products. They wish they were, but they're not.

I wonder how those folks felt that day that both Facebook and Instagram was down and they had to just live with their own self instead of seeking attention from others and pretending to be something that in itself is just a made up nonsense pile of garbage lies anyway.

Another question comes up as well. With Facebook being the parent company ownership of Instagram, whatsapp and all those other apps, what does happen when the system all falls down. Do they just sort of pack all their things and go. Imagine if it wasn't just down for a day, but forever. Most folks don't even have each other's phone numbers anymore as they depend on their entire communication means through these apps. And while having it all in one place is nice and all, it does make you wonder what exactly happens when the system all fails. Do you not have any means to communicate with those friends you have through facebook, instagram and the such?

Really makes you wonder. 






Sunday, March 17, 2019

JAMESON VS BUCHMILLS

JAMESON VS BUSMILLS

Clearly the simple thing to decide today is if you're catholic or protestant and if so, Jameson vs Bushmills.

You just have to remember that Jameson is a Catholic whiskey and Bushmills is a Protestant whiskey. Mainly because Northern Ireland is predominantly a Protestant region and that is where Bushmill's is made, and Jameson is from Cork, and is mainly the Catholic heavy region.

Don't believe me? Ask McNulty.


But that notion could be completely wrong and turned on its head. John Jameson, a Scottish man, ought the Bow Street Distillery in 1780, which at the time it was the biggest distilleries in Ireland. You have to remember that the Scottish Reformation happened in 1560, so the chances are in that favor the founder of Jameson distillery, Scottish and all, was a damn Protestant.

I know, tough pill to swallow. Even tougher is that Bullmills was officially licensed in 1608 by King James I, and despite of its location in the Northern area, which was Protestant country, has a Catholic as a master distiller.

Then again, this is really only an issue in the United States because blind Irish-American fandom for a drink. I mean, Jameson is currently owned by a French liquor conglomerate Pernod-Ricard, and Buhsmills by the English firm Diageo. So in the end, it really doesn't matter.

Saturday, March 16, 2019

A CASE FOR SAINT PATRICK'S DAY

A CASE FOR SAINT PATRICK'S DAY

I used to be one of those that was so rebellious that I would buck social trends. Valentine's Day? Pfft, that's for people who are forced to show their significant other that they care. St. Paddy's day? Bush league amateur hour in terms of drinkers who just needed to find an excuse to chug back beers and have the excuse that it's socially accepted to drink in excess today.

Not anymore. I think there's something to it. I mean, I always celebrated this very non-Irish holiday by cooking corned beef, which in its very nature is just not Irish in the fucking slightest. So perhaps I had to reexamine the very nature of what I didn't really like about this day and then just learn to embrace it.

Because yeah, Corned Beef is by far not something they do in Ireland, where meat from a cow is pretty sacred and scarce compared to the amount of beef we have in the U.S. Besides, in Ireland it was soups and potato based foods. A fisherman's pie or cottage pie. Some cabbage, carrots and potatoes. The more than likely scenario is that Irish immigrants to the U.S. found a sort of kindred spirit in the Jews, another background that was getting shitted on by the majority, and that corned beef process was adapted by the Irish as a staple American thing.

Much the same, St. Paddy's day in the U.S. is celebrated far more than it ever would be if you were in Ireland as an actual thing. So in a sense, to celebrate St. Paddy's day is basically to celebrate an American tradition and that in itself should make it A-okay to do. The justification to chug back those things that represent a sort of home away for a new home here. The same way that Cinco De Mayo is celebrated here far more than it is in Mexico and is by no means an actual independence day of the such. But it's one that Mexican Americans have attached themselves to and perhaps that should be enough to make it an official thing worth celebrating.

I guess that's a new way of looking at it. Or, hey, just imagine that it's a decent way for the Bostonian folks to thin each other out with all the fights and blood about to be shed this weekend. At least that aspect makes me smile. 

Friday, March 15, 2019

DEATH SENTENCE FOR DEATH PENALTY

DEATH SENTENCE FOR DEATH PENALTY

California did something amazing this last week. We did away, for the most part, with the whole lethal injection death penalty. Honestly, I feel like the whole "Eye for an eye" nonsense just doesn't fly. Considering most homicide cases remain cold cases and unsolved, the amount you save from the pointless death penalty

I'm not some pro lifer because, generally speaking, pro-lifers are the ones who scream to high hell that the person who committed a crime of killing someone and is on deathrow should die. Which seems like the complete opposite of what someone who is pro-life would do, but yet here we are.

In any case, I do think that the death penalty is a waste of fucking time because life in prison for the crime of murder seems just about equal and "just". more than anything else, It's not that we're ridding someone who murdered off the planet so much as we're doing the same act they did and calling it justified which seems like horse shit. The thing to remember is that we should be better than that. We should be more humane than that.

On top of everything else, as I briefly mentioned, the act of getting to the lethal injection or electric chair is filled with appeals and paper work that on average, it's millions of dollars spent to kill someone who is already rotting away in a prison for the crimes they committed. To me, that's a lot worse of a punishment than putting them out of their misery in the dumbest way possible.

We still rub alcohol on the spot that the lethal injection will go in. Man, thank god, we sure wouldn't want him to get an infection from the needle or anything. Then you have the situation that those chemicals have had their own issues in fully working. It's a complete waste of time when you already have sentenced the man to live the rest of his natural life in a small prison.

So I'm glad that we're doing away with it. There's about 740 folks who currently are in line to die. Just imagine all the appeals court time being wasted on that shit. How many tax dollars are we blowing just to get them through that line and jam a needle into them. It's far far far FAR cheaper to just feed them 3 "meals" and keep them alive. I mean, if that's what we are doing with prisons in general and not bothering with reforming them, then lets just do it that way.

The justice you think the family and loved ones of those who the killer killed is not going to be felt even with the death. You're not bringing anyone back. you're not doing anything than perpetuating a system of killing someone and we need to be better than that. You shouldn't have to scare folks from killing one another with the threat of death.

In any case, that's my words. I'm anti-death penalty as it doesn't do anything productive to bring back those lost and it cost our already fucked up system too much money.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

CAPTAIN MARVEL - AN INCEL REVIEW

CAPTAIN MARVEL - AN INCEL REVIEW 

Let me get this straight, Nick Fury had this pager to summon a Carol Sue Danvers (MARY SUE MUCH!??!) and he didn't use it when NYC was under attack by an alien invasion or when an A.I. Robot tried to take over the world and settled by just destroying some shitty country that Russia was probably going to try to reunite with?  See, clearly they're just pandering to women here and giving them empowerment to break that glass ceiling with magical blast from her hands because, you know, she's so witty and sassy with the come backs against the powerful magic negro Nick Fury.

I mean, sure, Nick Fury probably didn't want to blow his load on he NYC thing because it was his attempt to get together his Avengers... convienent that they're even making the name of the team a creation by Carol. Man, Marvel, do you not want my money anymore? Don't you see what happened with Star Wars when they got all girl power? Did you not like my cash!?!!

Ha. Just fucking with you, but seriously, I'm tired of Marvel pushing their agenda. I'm one step away from boycotting this movie because I'm sick of all the political radicals in Hollywood shoving their agenda down my throat with bullshit moral messages in my face such as it is okay to join the air force. Fuck you, industrial war factories and government industrial complex of death!

Even if it's a reference to the clearly not homosexual line stepping that is Top Gun. Honestly, the only real complaint I had about Captain Marvel is that they used No Doubt's Just a girl for a key fight scene and while other 90's music key moments felt forced, that one was the one that made me sad because it just didn't match the tempo at all, and the lyrics were louder than folks yapping.

Clearly they should have used Hole's Violet. Would have had the same impact for maximum female empowerment and maybe we could have also checked off the Kurt Cobain connection so we didn't have to also have that Nirvana track on there. Look, I'm not hating on the Mary Sue, I'm just hating on the fact that they went completely vanilla in terms of the musical selections of the 90's and maybe I'm a little more on this kick because my prime teenage years were throughout the 90's and there was far more superior choices they could have gone with in the musical selection.

Anyhow, it's nice to see that the Marvel Universe has a place for women to look up to a central hero that has her own film. I know Black Widow and Scarlett Witch are around, but Brie comes into her own on this and seeing little children dress up as Captain Marvel and look up to the character is fucking awesome. Finally, we're one step closer to moving away from the male gaze patriarchy....



Oh.  Well fuck.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

DEATH METAL AND YOUR INNER HAPPINESS

DEATH METAL AND YOUR INNER HAPPINESS

Despite what you may think, those who listen to Death Metal are not more likely to be violent people. Not at all. In fact, a new study shows that for them, it brings out some joy and happiness and because of that, they are not desensitized to violence as your asshole mind probably assumed they were.

Go ahead, admit it. You thought that long haired, all black wearing, chained up and spiked collar fella was going to be some violent sex predator and murder your face for looking like a plain ol' vanilla self that you are. But no. They aren't any less prone to violence than the next person and in fact they are probably happier and more soft than you can probably think.

Violent video games on the other than, those will desensitize your ass to violence and calling someone's mom a bitch more than anything else. You see, there's a difference between hearing that very loud ear piercing noise and banging your head than actually sitting behind a monitor and owning newbs on the internet.

Really makes you think, don't it? About the perceived notions we have for one another just because of little shit like this or that. Honestly, I know a lot of metal heads and they're often the most gentle of giants who love kitties and other bullshit of the such. I also know thin ass white boy gamers who probably should be on FBI watch list cause they're bound to shoot up some mother fucking office space.

Just goes to show you that perhaps... you should carve a pentagram into your arm and listen to some mother fuckin' DEATH METAL!!!!!1

Or.. you know, just enjoy classic music like most serial killers do.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

THE ART OF THE DAD JOKE

THE ART OF THE DAD JOKE

On my commute today I heard Larry Mantle act completely dumbfounded by the whole "Dad Joke" concept in that he felt it was a new labeling on an old thing. While it may be called a dad joke now, I feel like Dad Joke, as a term and as a concept existed for a long time now. We all grew up with your father saying some sort of lame attempt to break the ice in the form of a shitty joke. It was a way for someone who didn't spend most of the time in your space like the nuclear family model of your mom being around you all the time growing up attempting to inject themselves into your lives

In the patriarchy, the bread winning father would be off to work most of the day and would never really interact. After a long day of bread making hard work, they would come home and to add some levity to the situation, the dad joke existed. It's always been a dad joke. It'll always will be a dad joke.

Larry Mantel, who I constantly feel is completely out of his element in any new subject that seems to come up, just didn't understand the concept of bad jokes and the enjoyment one can take from making other people suffer. For every groan and every ugh spouted by someone who heard a really shitty pun filled joke, myself, for example, take so much enjoyment that one can come up with someone's displeasure in actually hearing it. It's like seeing someone get kicked in the groan. Sure, it's a terrible situation if you're getting hit, but if you see the person's reaction... yup. that's joy.

That's why I say stupid pun jokes. That's why I embrace the fact that I have told so many bad dad jokes - as if it's a bad thing. Getting a reaction is getting a reaction. No matter what the reaction is.

Hmmm, maybe I'll do more science into this matter and get back to you on the complete break down of dad jokes. Be happy I spared you of any of them.

Monday, March 11, 2019

SOCIAL MEDIA IS TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING

SOCIAL MEDIA IS TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING

Everything bad, at least. I mean, if anti-vaxxers and flat earthers are a clear example, we need to have some sort of level of test to see who the fuck can be on the internet. Because of those two groups of morons, there is a rise in people believing that the goddamn earth is flat as well as vaccines will give you some illness and thus, the rise of shit that was tackled many years ago.

Rather sad when you think about how much power this series of tubes can bring, and then to realize how wasteful it is being abused by with all the morons just saturating the good out of it with their own stupidity in terms of content.

Youtube, I'm looking at you. Stop being... well, you. Just stop it. Facebook is also now going to be a bit more insulator in terms of content, which is probably a terrible prediction of what sort of bubbles will form and what echo chambers will be coming out of it. I swear, you can't have a good debate with anyone any more because we all just like to enclose ourselves with like minded thoughts and while that may push further your own sort of understanding of things, it also means you're completely not willing to even entertain the thoughts of others that may not agree with your particular stance. So that's pretty fucked up in general.

In short, I blame FB for whatever the society has become and I'm sure that it'll only just get worse and worse as time goes along... whatever time that is left, that is. 

Sunday, March 10, 2019

TIMES HAVE CHANGED, MOM AND DAD

TIMES HAVE CHANGED, MOM AND DAD! 

Look, I get it. You think that I should be able to find a well paying career with ease because your asses had that ability no more than 30 years ago. But guess what, the times have fucking changed.

Just a heads up, Since 1978, the cost of College tuition increased by 1,120%.  Medical care has increased by at least 601% Food has been bumped up by 244% and shelter, the fact of paying rent for some place that isn't you basement, went up by 360%.

Meanwhile, the pay of the typical workers rose by just 10%   Minimum wage workers fell by 5.5% and if that's something to gawk at, just remember that the average CEO's pay increased by 937%

What I'm trying to tell you with these statistically factual numbers is that times have fucking changed and perhaps you should change the way you view this whole goddamn thing we call a life because the average college graduate can't make a living, especially because it's a pain in the ass to just get a decent paying job that will barely tread water with your student loans, let alone the crushing fact that the cost of living in an apartment that doesn't have 10 people living in the same space is just a pipe dream due to the raised rents.

And while you think this is just some whining Gen X'er bitching about the reality of the day, it's not. I'm not a Gen X'er, nor am I a Millennial. Because man, if I was I would just swallow a bullet because they are beyond fucked. I have a little bit of a nice situation going on, but I feel like I should write as the voice the majority who constantly gets shit on with the mentality that life is the same as it was 30 years ago when boomer's would just walk into a job and get a 40 year career out of it with retirement benefits - and, oh yeah, a fucking safety net that is social security. That's something the previous generation is probably not going to see a dime of and my generation would be fucking crazy thinking we'd get anything out of it.

It's fucked, but perhaps you folks should just change your mindset on this whole cost of living and even surviving.