Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Lessons From The Inside: Prison Tag

Lessons From The Inside: Prison Tag

Welcome to jail. Did you ever see yourself here? No, no one ever does. But don't worry about being left out of the group; you can join in at any point.


Join a Team

The first step is finding a group to hang out with. Making friends in prison can be difficult. At first, it seems that there are so many people that you'll never meet anyone, but eventually you notice the subtle differences. Soon you will see which group is best for you. The entire prison is divided into separate "teams." Instead of different colored jerseys, it is based on skin color. Let's take a look at the four major groups you'll be dealing with here

Aryan Brotherhood
Traits: White, Angry, Dangerous
Main Enemies: Hispanics, African Americans

Mexican Mafia
Traits: Hispanic, Angry, Dangerous
Main Enemies: African Americans, Whites

Black Guerilla Family
Traits: African American, Angry, Dangerous
Main Enemies: Whites, Hispanics

Prison Guards
Note: Due to your string of armed robberies and arson towards a local chain of Circle Ks, admission to Team Prison Guard is denied.

Get a Tattoo

Now that you've been drafted, it's time to spice up your jersey. Every convict needs an outside source for inspiration, so find your own muse. Pick three from this list and tattoo them on your back or any remaining, visible skin

Popular Choices

More Options

  • Hitler
  • Woman with Tear Rolling Down Cheek
  • White Power
  • Black Power
  • Latino Pride
  • Child/Children (preferably your own)
  • Fishing
  • Another Swastika (if applicable)
  • Black Panther
  • Knives
  • Dead Friends
  • Current Friends
  • Future Friends
  • Dragons
  • Nude Woman
  • Create your own
  • Any combination of above

Are you ready to play yet?

The Game: Prison Tag

Advanced Gameplay
Without doubt this is the most popular game in prison. Remember when you used to play tag all afternoon with friends outside of the school? Well, it's a lot like that except you're not allowed to run or have shoelaces. There are a few other differences, but it's basically the same.


Hurt as many people as possible.


1. Do not look anyone in the eyes

2. Do not look at anyone

3. If you are caught looking at someone you are tagged "IT"

4. You cannot tag someone on your own team

Special Tip: Staring at a wall is the most effective way to avoid an attack (unless the wall is a one way mirror and your enemy is on the other side.)

Uh oh, looks like someone is IT

Expert Tag Technique

Making a Shiv

Using a shiv is like extending your reach by three inches. It also allows you to rip holes into the side of enemies. If you follow this easy guide, you'll rule the courtyard (for the hour you are allowed out of your maximum security cell each day.)

Step 1: Acquire a human arm (Image 8)

Step 2: Carve excess flesh and bone to a point

Step 3 (Optional): Boil toilet bowl stew or flush arm carvings down drain

Step 4: Enjoy (Image 9)

I hope you learned a lot in this chapter of Lessons from the inside, Written for and by Convicts. Good luck in your first few weeks of Prison Tag, and remember to watch your back!

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