Showing posts with label kill yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kill yourself. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Just Kill Yourself

Just Kill Yourself

I don't remember if it was Nietzsche or Hunter S. Thompson or who ever said it, but it was something along the lines of
"without knowing that at any instant I could take my own life I would feel very trapped and terrified, there is liberation in having the power to end existance"
One of my favorite lines from nietzsche is
"The thought of suicide is a powerful solace: by means of it one gets through many a bad night." I've always best understood depression, and most mood disorders, as issues of control. Suicide and the possibility of suicide in many ways give someone a feeling of power, the final say in their own life. I feel suicidal ideation is stigmatized, justly but without regard to the positive effect that contemplating suicide can have. Depression is fundamentally narcissistic in its solitude, and a rational contemplation of suicide can reveal the absurdity of depressive cognition and activity"
It's pretty common for people to be suddenly find themselves at peace, even happy, in the hours before they kill themselves. Depression often includes issues with control, but it's usually a lack of control and feelings of hopelessness that feel depression.

And really, if you can't control your own death, what can you control? So in that sense and in the whole notion that it is the Holiday season, the most lonely time of the year given the amount of family function and celebrations as well as the addition of daylight hours becoming much shorter, it's no surprise that suicide rates go up so high.



I mean, yeah, it's long wondered why people commit suicide. After all, self preservation should be the cornerstone of any successful species.


but you would be hard pressed to find a well adjusted teenager who hadn't thought of the idea of offing themselves. But let's look into that whole concept and see why people do it? Why people would openly and gladly take themselves out of the equation of life.

People who attempt suicide usually have 3 salient characteristics. The third characteristic, especially, will often determine the lethality of the attempt.

1. The perception of burdensomenesss (real or perceived): Suicidal people often feel that they are a burden on their loved ones. This may be due to loss of work because of depression, long, expensive stays in a mental hospital, or a recent loss of employment. The last characteristic is especially true for males. Suicide rates spike during a recession, and that spike affects men the most since they are usually the partner that makes the most money in a romantic/familial relationship. While I believe in the right to die for the terminally ill, research has shown that terminally ill folks who take their own lives through assisted suicide report higher levels of feelings of burdensomeness than those who look into assisted suicide but do not choose to kill themselves.

Bear in mind that the psychological burden on the family and friends of the suicide victim is much, much worse than the burden that the victim may have placed on them in life.

2. Social isolation (real or perceived): This is the "no one would care if I killed myself" thought process. Like burdensomeness, much of this is due to perception. This point explains why mothers have a much lower suicide rate than women without children and why African-Americans (who typically place higher importance on family ties than Whites) also have lower suicide rates. It also explains men's higher suicide rates after a divorce than women's: men frequently take divorce harder emotionally because they are unwilling/unable to open up to their friends so they bottle it up. They are more emotionally isolated.

3. Acquired ability to self-injure: This was the most fascinating feature of Joiner's work to me. Several findings: people who have sustained multiple serious injuries in life are more likely to commit suicide, people with piercings and tattoos are also more likely (even after controlling for other factors), and people with multiple attempts are also more likely. It is widely assumed that people who attempt suicide multiple times are more depressed, explaining why they have more attempts. This may be true, but literature shows that attempts become more and dangerous (with regards to method) as the number of attempts increases. Joiner argues that these people are acquiring the means to self-injure through practice.

The notion that you can willingly hurt yourself helps explain a few more things. We know that veterans are in the higher suicide rate statistics, they have a larger likelihood of being injured during combat and have a front row seat to death on a daily basis.

Physicians also have a higher rate of suicide because they experience death very frequently and it could very well have become numb on them what you or I would feel towards the whole thing. It's know that those who suffer from depression have a higher pain tolerance than those who are not. So this higher pain tolerance explains why it's easier to bite the bullet.



In an even stranger statistic, men have a higher suicide rate than women, even though women attempt it 3 times as much as men. Just goes to show you, if you want something done right, let a guy do it. I'll chalk this one up to society putting a lot of pressure on males to "be a man" and all that sort of shit. Besides that, men are more in the line of fire of getting hurt and thus, increases the odds of causing harm to one self.

Then we go into the whole mental illness. Like stated above, it's the top priority of any species to make sure they have the will to self preserve. So when something is chemically imbalanced, that can greatly affect the willingness of openly committing suicide. It was found that nearly all victims of suicide have either a clinically diagnosable mental illness or are operating at sub-clinical but detectable levels of mental illness. Major depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and anorexia tend to be the worst for this.

For the most part, you really can't stop someone who really wants to commit suicide. For all the many reports of suicide, it's still probably the biggest under reported act. Car accidents with a single passenger are often attributed to driver error when many are probably suicides. Many people, including coroners, believe the myth that very young children, like pre-teens, do not commit suicide. There has been at least one case where a child hanged himself and the coroner listed it as accidental. Lethal drug overdoses that may be suicides are also routinely put down as accidents.


Why the fuck not..

This leads us to what is the act in itself. Suicide, by all regards is viewed as a selfish act. At least by those who are left behind. Again, remember that those offing themselves feel as if they are a burden to others. So perhaps it's a selfless act to take themselves out of being a burden. Much the opposite of what selfishness would be. But it goes without saying that the loved ones, friends and family alike feel like they were selfish in committing such an act.

They also often operate under the idea that they are socially isolated. If you actually believe that your death will matter little to others, how are you being selfish by taking your own life? Besides that, the thought process of a person lying awake in bed and thinking about offing themselves is probably not with the same thought process of someone who is pulling the firing pin back and spraying the walls.


Yeah, you should probably kill yourself.

They keep it simple. People who off themselves do so in ways that they perceive will be quick and easiest on their families or friends. The complete opposite of selfishness. They travel to places to kill themselves. Like, in New York, 10% of the suicides that happen in the city are from non-New Yorkers.

Even celebrity suicide isn't that easy. Kurt Cobain had to work up to his suicide and was considering it for a long time before the actual pulling of the trigger, if you just look at his lyrics you can tell. He was originally afraid of guns but then his friends convinced him to go shooting. Oddly enough, this also is how he got into heroin.



You know what, a lot more of you people should kill yourselves. Especially since you probably have nothing going for yourself in your shitty lives. But I do have one favor to ask, when you do do it, don't be a pussy and fuck it up by failing to take out as many people on the shit list as you possibly can. You only get one go at it, so please do it correctly.

If you're going to just sit in your car in a closed garage as you cry yourself to death listening to Lady Gaga instead of bringing a duffel bag of guns to a cop convention, then just get the hell out of here. You're wasting my time. There's something to be said about doing something very drastic like murdering Wall St. bankers before you do yourself in.

Like, if I was going to kill myself, I would probably drive onto the middle of the 10/101/110 and in the peak hour, ditch my car, run across 8 lanes of traffic causing a lot of small accidents. Then I would jump onto the adjacent subway line and get hit by a train, thus inconveniencing the hundreds of thousands of commuters that inconvenience me every morning.

Don't go out like some punk ass bitch somewhere out in the cold all isolated or whatever. Getting drunk and letting nature take its course is not a good method. Even if your corpse may end up feeding some passing animal. You would think that would be the way to go, but freezing to death doesn't seem like the best answer. Here's a very detailed account of what that is like.



Then again, if you want a peaceful way out, there's always the helium/nitrogen tank method. But I've already gone over that one plenty of times and if you haven't paid attention to it then, you wont now.

The best part about suicide is that you will never regret it... well, unless you fail at it. Then you'd probably regret the mess you're in.

If you're still reading this, perhaps I should recommend some really good viewing material. You should take the time to watch Frontline's "The Suicide Tourist", it's really very good and you can see it online RIGHT HERE.

Me, personally? I don't think about killing myself. Instead, I think of just dropping everything and traveling the world penniless for a few years. Though I'd probably end up dead going that route. But if you're fundamentally broken and therapy, support and medication doesn't help, well then. Perhaps suicide is a means to a proper end.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Exit Strategy

Exit Strategy

There has been a lot of talk about an exit strategy lately and given the nature of the holiday season, that comes with good reason... Wait, did you think I was talking about Iraq? Ha. Nah, I'm talking about the giant elephant in the room that's currently kicking the chair from under him, hanging himself.

With all that time spent with family and the stress cause by going out and being a consumer and shopping for that "perfect" gift, it's no wonder why people off themselves around this time of year. That's even if you have family to give things to. Those folks who have no one in their lives.. Holy hell, that's gotta be even tougher. What with the days getting shorter and the nights inversely doing the opposite of that, can you really say you're surprised by the level of depression out there?



Don't even get me started on the folks in uniform. Considering Armed Forces suicide rates outnumber the amount killed in Iraq this year so far, I think it's safe to say that there needs to be some help out there. That's why I'm going on about this and just going to do the most morally wrong thing possible... teach you how to commit your final act in style. TLC, get ready a show for me!

Yes, that's right, Suicide. The voluntary act of taking one's own life. A cowardly retreat from the pressures and toils of daily life, or the bold head-first entrance to a new and unexplored frontier.. whatever way you want to look at it, if you killed yourself today, there will oddly enough be people who benefit from it.



From the cost you saved government in money to keep you healthy and sane, to the lack of needing food produced for you. You would stop taking up valuable living space and you would stop producing waste.. but again, we do need to dispose of your body. No more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere from your mouth and most of all, no more you. Yes sir, by you committing the single simple set of actions that led to your demise, you can stop contributing to the huge numbers of problems you are complacent in. Let's take a look of the revolutionaries who previously ended their life;

-Leandro Alem, founder of the Argentine Radical Civic Union
-Guy Debord, French marxist intellectual
-Thích Quảng Đức, Vietnamese Buddhist monk
-Andre Gorz, existential Marxist and political ecologist
-Abbie Hoffman, political activist
-Adolf Hitler
-Bruce Edwards Ivins, perpetrator of the anthrax attacks on US politicians
-Paul Lafargue, son-in-law of Karl Marx and fellow Marxist

The list goes on! Read all about it on Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia that decided to list famous revolutionaries that offed themselves!

So, then, you've made the informed, careful decision to off yourself. You've realized that any pain your death will cause your friends and family by suicide will not even come close to the amount of suffering you've inflicted on the oppressed peoples of the third world just by existing. How are you going to do it? There are several exciting options! Let's look at a few of the more popular ones.

Hanging/asphyxiation
Requires Some form of rope, Something to tie the rope to

This tried and true method is sure to make a statement about you-you're a classicist, someone who appreciates the originals. It's the second most common method in the US after the ol' Hemingway. Deceptively simple. I'm sure you've seen it done before. Make sure the knot is tight. Here's a diagram explaining how to tie a proper noose, for those among us with a flair for the dramatic.




in this example, substitute the ring at the end for your neck.

Couldn't be simpler! There are two ways to play here. If you have access to a tree or other overhanging object sufficiently tall that your feet won't touch the ground when suspended from it, you can pretty much figure out what to do from here. However, if you're stuck somewhere, a jail cell, say, you'll have to get creative. If there's a doorknob available, or just about anything you can tie a rope on, you're in the clear. Belts work great for those without ropes.

Cons:
Did you know that hanging requires a very precise measurement of weight and height of drop to be an effective, quick method of death? There is a very tiny window of appropriate force to apply, which has to be carefully thought out, taking into account your weight and the height of your drop, to ensure that your neck is broken and you die nearly instantaneously. Too short a drop? Your windpipe is slowly crushed and your dear sweet mother gets to find you in the closet, eyes bulging out of their sockets, wide with fear, with your fingernails digging bloody little trenches into your neck as you fruitlessly tried to abort your painful, terrifying miscalculation. Too far? Somebody gets to find your decapitated remains splayed about. Hope you didn't love them, because they'll be scarred for life at seeing your hideous, gruesome end

Gunshot
Requires: One firearm, One bullet



It's that easy! Wow!

Cons:
Guns are a little more forgiving than hanging, but not by much. Putting the wrong part of your brain through the back of your skull can leave you simply paralyzed, or worse, ensuring that your attempted escape from this plane of existence that has brought you nothing but a lifetime of further suffering on it, multiplied 10 times over by your new disability. Also, bearing in mind that you're suicidal, you probably have suffered with severe depression for some time, and don't wish to be a burden on your family and friends. After all, it's likely that one of the reasons you're leaving the world is because you feel you're too much of a burden on those around you already or you don't have that circle of friends who WOULD take care of you. Gun suicide is one of the most traumatic forms of death on the victim's surviving family and friends. Your pain may be over, but the pain of the people who live on after you will be made much, much worse by your escape vector if you use a gun.

Shotgun methodology

The question of aim with a shotgun constantly arises. There are many recorded instances of suicides failing where the shotgun is placed under the chin; conversely, the author has heard of no instances where a shotgun barrel placed fully in the mouth and slightly elevated, with the stock properly braced, has resulted in the continued life of the would-be deceased. The infamous "Judas Priest" suicides, where Raymond Belknap died but James Vance survived, involved firing the shotgun under the chin - *not* in the mouth. Mr. Belknap was evidence that under the chin -can- kill you; Mr. Vance was evidence that under the chin can -fail-. (Eventually, Mr. Vance collected enough painkillers to successfully suicide about three years after blowing his face off.)

For shotguns the best way is the hemingway: sit in a chair, place butt of gun on ground, hold barrel firmly in mouth flush against soft upper mouth tissue, pull trigger with toe. an awkward position to be sure, but it gets results.

Putting a gun to your temple isn't as sure fire as it sounds. You could just lobotomize yourself and end up a vegetable. Much better to stick it in your mouth and aim roughly towards the base of the skull to hit the thing that attaches to your spine for instant death.



That's from the Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer Texas chainsaw massacre. If you aren't feeling suicidal yet, just give that a watch and you'll be right there... It's really sad that it took two entire dudes to make that gay ass movie. This scene is literally the only memorable thing aside from a guy being stuck on a meat hook or something. Fun Fact -Sometimes firearm contact wounds cause star shaped burns around the bigass hole they plug in your skull.

(note: If you HAVE to use a gun, make sure you steadily breathe out as you smoothly pull the trigger in, this will steady your hand and make your attempt much more effective. The number one reason for failed suicides by gun is your hand jerking as you pull the trigger. Relax, and slowly squeeze, not worrying where in the travel the hammer will drop. Just calmly breathe out and pull.)




Poisoning
Requires: Sufficient quantities of any poisonous substance

Hitler did it. The most popular poison is potassium cyanide. How the heck do you get that, you may ask? The answer is science supply.
http://www.sciencelab.com/page/S/PVAR/SLP3853
However, if you can't get your hands on any of this, there are a lot of creative ways to poison yourself. You could down a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of Jack, you could leave your car on in the garage, you could even eat too much nutmeg. Which would just be the cherry on top to this whole holiday season. One of the great things about poisoning is that if done correctly it can be quick and painless, which is great because who the fuck makes sacrifices when they're trying to do something they believe in?

Hydrogen sulfide inhalation
This is a specific form of poisoning with many Pros:
-The needed materials are cheap and easy to obtain.
-The chances of accidental survival are low.
-The method is quick and painless.
-Your corpse will still be suitable for open-casket funeral, if next of kin desire, and you won't leave a big mess for emergency responders to deal with.

Cons:
-The poisonous gas you generate can harm others. Probably best to do this in a car, tool shed, portable john, or other enclosed space that isn't immediately adjacent to other people, and to leave a warning sign about poison gas where people can see before opening the doors.



To pull it off you will need a metal sulfide and an acid to react it with, freeing hydrogen sulfide (H2S) gas. Some readily available sulfide sources are liver of sulfur (crude potassium sulfide mixture used for metal treatment effects), pure sodium sulfide as used in some photographic toning processes, or lime sulfur (calcium sulfide/polysulfide mixture), which is used for veterinary and also agricultural purposes.

For the acid almost anything will work: muriatic (hydrochloric) acid sold for swimming pool pH control, sodium bisulfate sold for the same purpose, various rust and limescale removing products, even lemon juice.

The method is now popular in Japan. In Japan the sulfide component has usually been a calcium polysulfide mixture that is added to bath water to replicate the experience of soaking in natural sulfide-bearing hot springs. Outside of Japan the products I have named above are probably easier to obtain sources of metallic sulfides.

su

Drowning
Requires: A sufficient amount of water

You can drown yourself in a bucket if you're dedicated. Driving a car into a body of water with the windows rolled up is a very effective method as it allows no opportunity for escape. Quitters never win! If you're really worried about your buoyancy, just find a rock, cinder block or other heavy object and properly affix yourself to it, then toss it off a pier with sufficiently deep water. Hey presto, suffer no more! There are lots of exciting ways and places to drown. Try breaking in to a public pool at night and doing it, just for shits and giggles.

The "totally fucking awesome" Suicide method:

1. tie cheese wire around your neck and then then tie it to something sturdy on top of a tall building. Make sure to leave some slack.
2. Superglue your hands to your head
3. Jump.

If done correctly, you'll fall a distance of metres before the cheese wire becomes taut, neatly slicing your head off. You will then hit the pavement hard. However, since you superglued your hands to your head, to those who didn't see it, it will look like you pulled your own motherfucking head off.

High falls
Requires: A ledge

This one's pretty straightforward, too.



If you're really dedicated, you can kill yourself jumping off a fridge or a vending machine. Just make sure you land head first. You think your life is bad now, try living it after a failed suicide attempt. Either do it or don't. Self pity and non-commitment is so pathetic.

I guess the only thing that I can't tell you is where to get any information about setting your affairs in order before you depart. So if you want to leave your meager savings to a few charities and a local neighborhood center, by all means, knock yourself out. I know people often joke about it, but I'm pretty sure this is literally the stuff that gets me on the FBI watchlists. That's alright though, I assumed if the FBI ever read my blog I would be already off to Guantanamo.

This makes you wonder if animals ever commit suicide... This video should answer your question;



Then again, that's not suicide, he's just going on a fucking adventure! Those commentators are just a bunch of haters. But um.. yeah, that aint no Disney romp across three states to find the family who moved and forgot them in a kennel, That penguin is a fuckin' goner. That pengiun is self actualized and making it's own destiny... and it has chosen death.

Maybe I'm wrong. That penguin is going to become like the captain of the royal guard or an astronaut or something and he's going to return to his penguin home with a dozen posting medals and show them all.

The most harmful thing someone in the 1st world can do for the environment is have a child. Therefore, the best thing a person can do for the environment is kill as many babies as they can and then kill themselves. If you care at all about the environment follow my advice ASAP.

So there. We've coverd a lot of he basics, but the ways to bring about your end are endless! With a little creativity, you can make a mark with your death other than a blood stain or a crack in the concrete. Here's a fun one- Join the military, go through the entire recruitment and training process, but then the second they give you a live firearm, boom. Congrats, you've effectively trolled an entire organization and pissed away tax payer's cash.

I'll be happy to answer any questions about offing yourself you might have beyond what I've already covered. Though, if I could touch on one more option.. I bring to you the best possible way to end your miserable life...

Enter our Wonderful Friend: Helium!

That's right! The stuff that makes you sound like a munchkin! Helium is one of the least-mentioned methods of suicide, yet it is one of the best, since it is completely painless, 100% effective, works quickly (you can be out in 10 seconds, dead in 3 minutes), and best of all, very reversible... considering we are talking about suicide.

So how the hell does helium work? Did you know your body has no way of knowing how much oxygen it has in it? It's true! The burning sensation you feel when you hold your breath in isn't actually your lungs crying out for more oxygen, it's your body protesting the buildup of Carbon Dioxide! That's right, your body cannot sense if it has enough oxygen to continue living, your breathing is only regulated by carbon dioxide levels in your blood, which it can sense. Helium, when inhaled, displaces oxygen in your lungs, causing asphyxiation. It is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and quite fatal in the right dose!



Why Helium?

Well, really, any noble gas will do. Argon, xenon, neon, each of these will be just as effective as helium in ending your life. Helium is just the easiest to obtain. In fact, one of the reasons helium is the method of choice for your last goodbye is that it's much, much cheaper and easier to obtain than a gun or various other guaranteed-fatal implements. Just ask any party store! . Got a birthday party coming up? Just pay the deposit and rental fee and away you go with enough helium to kill you 20 times over! Once you've got that, all you need is some plastic tubing, duct tape and a dust mask (or any standard anesthetic mask). Then, sit down somewhere where you can be alone for ~10 minutes at the absolute max, twist the valve and enjoy oblivion. As you inhale, the helium will replace the oxygen in your lungs, starving your brain. You will not feel any pain, and your C02 levels will be unaffected. Depending on how high you turn the valve up, (do this in VERY SMALL INCREMENTS! The tank might not have a regulator, and you could seriously damage your face if you release all 8000 PSI at once.) you should be unconscious within 10 seconds, and completely dead within 3 minutes. You will feel no pain or adverse effects throughout the entire process, and you will be very, very deceased at the end of it. Find someplace pretty to do it, someplace with a nice sunset. Remember, it'll be your last.

When you are discovered, you will be indistinguishable from somebody in a deep sleep, save the mask on your face. Depending on how long it is before you are discovered, you should still have something of a healthy appearance (My advice, end yourself someplace semi-public. You'll be discovered before you begin to show signs of departure, but you'll be long dead). Best of all though, you will save your rescuers/your family the trauma of scraping bits of you off of a wall, and you can give those you loved the tiniest shred of consolation in your death, in their knowledge that you died peacefully and painlessly. Make sure you pin some signage to yourself or your surroundings informing your rescuers that they could be in danger though!!!! This is very important!!! After you are dead, the tank will continue to empty out its significant contents, and they may succumb to the gas (remember: tasteless, odorless etc.) if they are not properly warned!

But What if I Don't Really Want to Die?

Glad you asked! This is another strength of helium, since its point of no return/point of serious brain damage comes very late in the attempt, and it is completely, 100% reversible up to then! Feeling depressed, suicidal even, but unsure if a final exit is really what you need? Desperate to cry out to those you love the severity of your situation, but unsure how? Call the cops on yourself and hide in an upstairs room, then as soon as you hear them kick the door in downstairs turn the valve open. You'll be unconscious and very convincing by the time they make it upstairs, but when they remove the mask you'll be unharmed, and your loved ones will be made aware of your plight without having to use the words you never could find.

Conclusion

Use helium. It is better in literally every way than almost anything else, for almost every purpose.

Not only that but you'll also have a funny voice.