Monday, January 28, 2008

West of the Rockies...

West of the Rockies...

If you never wandered the word of the AM dial on your radio late at night, then you have no idea who Art Bell is and what Coast to Coast is. I'm not sure if you're the luckiest or the most deprived person alive.Coast 2 Coast is a nationally syndicated radio talk show on your local AM dial (KFI 640 for us L.A. folk) That is your one stop shop for wierd shit. The show is made up of callers that provide all the insane entertainment one can want from a train wreck. You have your crazy conspiracy theories, truckers who are convinced that aliens have buzzed their trucks, underground reptilians, war between vampires and angels, ghost, spirits and unfortunately a bit of the new agey bullshit that becomes a little annoying.

It's hosted by three people. Two of which I couldn't give much crap about. Art Bell is the original host and has pretty much retired from the show, but comes back to host the Halloween (Ghost to Ghost) and New Years editions of the show which is an open lines prediction. All of which are utterly batshit, talking about how aliens are going to finally reveal themselves this year or that Mecca is going to get nuked by the evil syndicate running the world or how Reptilians are finally going to come out of Mel's hole.

Suffice to say, it's pretty entertaining. The shows could be found here for streaming purposes First Show and second New Years Eve show. And while I know that we are already a good month into this new and amazing year, I figured it would be nice to pick out the cream of the crop and comment on some of these.

Predictions for 2008 made by the callers of Coast 2 Coast.

The 2007 WD5 asteroid will hit Mars, and the remnants of an ancient civilization will be revealed.

Sadly, that same asteroid will also destroy any remnants of said ancient civilization.

A helicopter will crash into a non-residential building (medical or business), stated Yvonne from New York.

Will a Plane crashing into cow crap Corona count?

Max suggested that the Dow will drop to below 11,000.

A prediction that the U.S. economy wont be great? Woah there Max, you're going out on a limb with that prediction...

Bill in Salinas believes that 'Bugs' will resurface and lead researchers to the remains of buried Bigfoot.

It'll be funny if it's found in a shallow grave right outside of Vegas. Cause lord knows that's where I go to bury a body.

The dollar will tank in the second week of March, and will be dumped worldwide, declared Bob from Arkansas.

Good thing I already converted my savings into Disney Dollars to prepare for this prediction.

And for the first time Art Bell, himself, made a prediction--Al Gore will jump into the race at the last moment in hopes of being drafted.

And I thought that after years of hosting the show, Art Bell would be crazy enough to back up Ron Paul. Color me surprised.

New Orleans will encounter problems with violence, when the NBA All-Star game comes to town.

I'm sure the flood washed away all the trouble makers. You have nothing to worry about.

After two more box office flops, Tom Cruise will renounce Scientology and become a born-again Christian, claimed Joey in Pahrump.

Isn't that cute, the utterly insane talking about the batshit insane.

A new, almost unlimited, source of water will be found in the Southwest US, near volcanic mountains.

Forget water, find me a good bar to find a drink at in the Southwest. Especially one without crappy tex-mex!

There will be no hurricanes over North America in '08, said Tim in Texas

After living a year in Florida, I have to say this is like saying there wont be any red necks at Nascar events this year.

A steam roller accident in Charleston, SC will take many lives


Nick said the US and the international community will end up boycotting the '08 Olympics because of actions by China.

When its discovered that they laced the Olympic torch with lead.

Dan in San Francisco foresees Osama Bin Laden calling for an end to the jihad and uniting the world's religions.

My prediction is that San Francisco is filled with too many hippies.

Northern California will have an earthquake over 9.0 in April, according to Neil.

I can only hope this one happens. Us in Southern California only needed our upper half for a steady supply of water and wine. If sacrificing that is needed to get rid of dope head hippies like Dan, I'm all for it.

Mothman incidents will return to PA area, starting on July 4th.

Get Richard Gere on the phone. I smell sequel! It's Mothman Profacies meets Oliver Stone!

Food prices will replace oil prices in news headlines.


Mark in Denver sees Bush revealing the next generation of stealth fighter, which will end up being the Black Triangles UFOs.

He'll have no time do to such a thing, what with his focus on printing endless amounts of dollars to give to the people in the form of checks.

There will be a lot more school shootings.

Thanks.. that's detailed of a prediction. I knew the callers were insane. It seems they're also insanely vague.

Marty in California predicts a UFO being downed in the Lake Tahoe area and seen by many witnesses.

I predict that Marty will be too drunk during his trip to Lake Tahoe that UFOs are the least of what he'll be seeing.

An undisputed unified field theory will take humanity into space, said Michael.

And a brightly colored two chambered bong will take Michael to the next level of awesomeness.

Beth in Youngstown warned of a big disease coming from crows.

Someones played way too much Resident Evil.

There will be a series of three earthquakes in Hawaii-- 8.6, 7.2 and 6.3, probably in March, said Darren.

Not one or two but THREE? Damn, someone must not have liked their honeymoon.

Lightning will become sentient and attack people.

Wait.. what?

All this shows nothing but proof that Coast 2 Coast is full of insane callers. All of which are willing to let loose their insanity onto the world through ham radios and AM tuned radios. I am a little surprised that there was so few Alien related predictions. Usually you have a lot more loonies calling in about them. If you ever want to feel sane and normal late at night, tune your radio to Coast 2 Coast. You'll more than likely listen to some crazy idea that Reptilians are secretly integratng into society from Mel's hole in hopes to over throw the human hierarchy. All before the latest grey's abductee discusses how he sort of enjoyed the whole anal probe. And if this stuff doesn't phase you, you've listened to too much Coast 2 Coast.

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