Friday, May 24, 2019



I'm just going to start this off by saying I generally don't see the point of myself watching any live action Disney movie remake of their animated projects. Why? Because it was never really targeted to me, someone who watched the animated version when it was released.

This is just a way to reintroduce their property to a new generation in theaters and that's fine. What isn't fine is that these live actions feel like I just wasted time watching an inferior version of the film that I remember. Then again, that's mostly due to nostalgia and all that bullshit.

Let's get started with the critiquing. The Genie played by Will Smith is... I mean, it's sometimes alright and then it's sometimes just crosses the line of all human decency and makes you wonder what the fuck were they thinking. I do have history with the man as I was almost run over by him on the studio lot this one time. So clearly he has been trying to kill me in one way or another for a long time coming now.  So from hell's heart I stab at thy.

in mecca saudi arabia born and raised

in the desert is where I spent most of my days

wishing out, lamping, relaxing all cool

and rubbin' on the lamp up inside of the tomb

when a dude named iago was up to no good

started makin trouble in the kingdomhood

I granted one little wish and aladdin got scared

and said "no more wishing on the blue genie we got here"

Now the more that I think about it, this film isn't really bad enough to warrant any hate. It's just a by-the-numbers, overly focus-grouped, unncecessary Disney live-action remake of a better movie. Nothing really offensive happens. Nothing interesting happens as well. It's like going to see folks sing karaoke. Not really seeing the real thing, but you get the idea.  It's ultimately forgettable.

 I'm Javier and I'll see you in the isle!

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