Take Your Stinkin' Paws Off Me You Damn Dirty Ape! Darwin Day

Take Your Stinkin' Paws Off Me You Damn Dirty Ape! Darwin Day

Since it is Darwin Day, this topic seemed to be just right. Intelligent Design vs Evolution.



NPR, the educational choice in radio listening, went out of there way to tell us that Darwin's 200th birthday is coming up.

This year marks the 200th anniversary of Charles Darwin's birth, and to say Darwin mania is gripping England does not overstate the case.

The Royal Mint has created a Darwin coin, the Royal Mail has made a Darwin stamp set, and there are countless lectures and exhibitions throughout the country.

Bob Bloomfield is in charge of Darwin200, a program coordinating the celebration. He says there's even a group of knitters paying tribute to Darwin.

"The group created artistic knitted elements which are evocative of evolution processes," says Bloomfield. "Similarly there's a very small group also doing quilts which are doing a Bayeux tapestry of the Beagle voyage."

In other words, Darwin is not the controversial figure in the United Kingdom that he continues to be in the United States. Bloomfield says the reason for this is science has proved Darwin right.

"Unless you want to disregard the weight of evidence, there's not really a controversy," says Bloomfield. "Most difficulties come from people who have a fixed perspective on either the nature of time or either the created nature of the natural world."

But in Britain, even those who see the hand of a creator in the natural world don't have a problem with Darwin. The reason is that science and religion answer different questions, says the Right Rev. Lord Harries of Pentregarth, a member of the House of Lords and the former bishop of Oxford for the Church of England.

"Science is trying to address the question, 'How do things happen?'" says Harries. "In answer to that you get the theory of evolution. Things happen gradually over a very long period of time by natural causes. But if you ask 'Why did things happen?' Then you get a completely different answer."

It's the way of life that belongs in the spiritual domain. Harries believes the problems some religions have with Darwin and evolution come from a literal interpretation of the Bible. According to Harries, while the Bible contains profound truths, it is not word for word true.

"First of all, take the issue of the age of the Earth," says Harries. "Do people really think that the universe is only 4,000 years old when every science — chemistry, paleontology, physics, astronomy … points to, with substantial evidence, to the Earth being billions of years old and the universe more than billions of years old. So you have to ask people, do you think that the vast majority of scientists … are liars?"

The Rev. Malcolm Brown says the Church of England did have problems with Darwin's theory at first, but quickly realized it was not an attack on Christian faith. Nevertheless, by getting the first reaction wrong, "We legitimized, to some extent, later movements, particularly in the United States during the early 20th century, to raise creationism as an ideology and make Darwin a whipping boy."

The creationist ideology, now repackaged as a theory known as intelligent design, still runs strong in certain parts of America.

The University of Kansas in Lawrence actually has one of the 1,250 copies that make up the first edition of On the Origin of Species. But unlike in England, where it seems every scrap of Darwin memorabilia is on public display, this copy of the first edition stays mainly in the vault.

Leonard Krishtalka is a paleontologist and head of the natural history museum on campus. Krishtalka knows the book, with it's notions about how life appeared on Earth, is threatening to some people. And even though Kansas has grabbed headlines with its fights over teaching intelligent design as an alternative to Darwin's theories in schools, it's not a problem unique to Kansas.

"There are actually 34 states in the United States that have passed anti-evolution laws of one kind or another," says Krishtalka, "whether it's stickers in textbooks or warnings that 'Reading this book with be injurious to your mental health," whether it's California or Alabama or Louisiana. For the record, in Kansas, the teaching of evolution in schools never stopped because all of the regulation and rules that the anti-evolution segment of the Kansas City Board of Education tried to get through were never enacted."

But the fight continues. It's not a scientific fight. Science has already proclaimed Darwin the winner. It's a social tug of war. A tug of war that started 150 ago and shows no signs of abating.

America continues to prove its ass-backward mentality, and the UK is chock full of 'chavs.' however, 'chavs' aren't as dumb as the university of Kansas. Britain did something right, in all of its imperialistic glory.



This is the one that gets me though...

"There are actually 34 states in the United States that have passed anti-evolution laws of one kind or another," says Krishtalka, "whether it's stickers in textbooks or warnings that 'Reading this book with be injurious to your mental health," whether it's California or Alabama or Louisiana.

what in the mother of fuck is wrong with you, America?

There are actually 34 states in the United States that have passed anti-evolution laws

It's against the law to evolve in the US? That explains a lot. All along America has been water boarding the wrong people. I think I can explain it. People receive inadequate science education in school and do not learn critical thinking skills. These people join schools boards where they vote against adequate science education and classes on critical thinking. also they cut funding for arts and music classes so they have enough for new football jerseys.

Then again, Britain isn't looking so hot either.

More than half of the public believe that the theory of evolution cannot explain the full complexity of life on Earth, and a "designer" must have lent a hand, the findings suggest.

And one in three believe that God created the world within the past 10,000 years.

But as this chart shows... maybe that's not accurate



So I say to you, Happy Darwin day. Much like Christmas when we're bombarded with Christmas specials, all these Darwin and evolution programs the bbc have been putting out over the past few weeks have been awesome. Then again, most people only look to BBC to see Monty Python or Benny Hill.

I'm just surprised that creationist are having a hard time understanding that we evolve. Don't we see that in our full life time anyway? When you're young you grow up and you become someone entirely different. The me from 10 years ago is completely different than the me today.
Evolution. It's just that simple. It's responsible for things which are so goddamn spectacular that most just cant fathom complex parts being developed through chance, I mean hell even I cant figure out how photoreceptors developed through genetic mutation, let alone how my microwave actually cooks my Hot Pockets and that's why we have religion. Because people can't accept how fucking amazing the universe is without magic.



The worst arguments I've heard are that evolution does not explain the origin of life(even though it doesn't even attempt to) therefore it is completely false, and the "missing link", which is nit picking a whole theory and trying to render it false(even though the "missing link" only applies to humans). I also like the classic "I'm as skeptic of evolution as I am of creationism, and until there is scientific evidence for any i will believe neither". My response to that is that my book on carpentry doesn't explain how to build a car. It's two separate issues entirely.

Forbes currently has a ton of Darwin related articles. The article about social darwinism is a nice example of "I dislike this theory on a personal level therefore it must be wrong" and on a final note Did you know that Dawrin's tortoise died three years ago but lived for 176 years?

Darwin's tortoise, Harriet, dies at 176
By Tom Whipple
SHE visited three continents, inspired Darwin’s theory of evolution and made it into the record books, yet for more than a century everyone thought she was male. Harriet, the world’s oldest tortoise, has died in an Australian zoo, aged 176.

Weighing in at 150kg (24 stone) and roughly the size of a dinner table, the Giant Galapagos tortoise was considered by Guiness World Records to be the world’s oldest living animal in captivity.

John Hangar, Australia Zoo’s senior vet, said that her death came quickly. “She had been sick yesterday with, in effect, heart failure,” he told ABC Radio. “She had a fairly acute heart attack and thankfully passed away quickly overnight.”

Longevity is not Harriet's only claim to fame. Originally named Harry, some believe that in 1835, at the age of 5, she was among the animals transported from the Galapagos Islands by Sir Charles Darwin’s expedition on the Beagle.

She stayed briefly in Britain, but by the mid-1800s had found her way to more tortoise-friendly climes in the Botanic Gardens, Brisbane. She was moved to the Queensland zoo in 1980.
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Steve Irwin, the zoo owner and wildlife celebrity, said: “I have grown up with this gorgeous old girl and so have my kids. She was a grand old lady.”

Oddly enough, Steve Irwin died three months later.

In the end, I just default to the way Monty Python would solve this issue.


So enjoy this Darwin day and take a look at all the wonders we may never have an explanation for, but that doesn't mean they're not any less amazing.

It Was The Best Of Times, It Was The Worse Of Times

It Was The Best Of Times, It Was The Worse Of Times

Google has done a terrible thing.

Though Google's corporate motto is "Don't be evil" they've released a terrible, sinful evil unto the world this past week. As part of the celebration of the search engine's tenth anniversary Google is making available their earliest index from January 2001, and it has the potential to turn our modern Internet world upside down.

It was a simpler, more optimistic Internet back then, when a search for VRML resulted in "VRML: The next big thing!" not "VRML: What went wrong?" On Internet 2001, searching for "Facebook" results in information about actual facebooks. "MySpace" refers to web hosting companies. "YouTube" returns zero results, the way it should be.

Wow. It's amazing how far logos have come.

When I type in Blogosphere it comes back with no returns. As you can see it was a simple time, it was a better time. 9/11 was nothing more than a reminder to watch Dr. Laura's TV show and Obama comes up with very few results. McCain even comes back as being seen as a maverick and there's not a single mention of Sarah Palin. Miracles of miracles.

Internet 2001 wasn't perfect. But when I discovered that Internet 2001 only returns 6 results for "Ebaum's World" and Internet 2008 returns nearly 4 million, I wanted to bash my head in. In remembering this old Internet I've fallen into an equally old habit. I've started drinking again. Four years of sobriety down the drain. Thanks Google.

God help you if you've ever posted anything embarrassing on the Internet before 2001. Today those results are buried underneath hundreds of millions of links to other nonsense, but not on Internet 2001. They are right on top of the shitheap. Your old Geocities page doesn't exist anymore, but chances are that the Internet Archive is holding a copy for your friends to find. Your Pokemon hentai fanart gallery is about to become very popular again. I know my poor attempts of a website still linger out there waiting to be released when I'm good and famous as a reminder of those early years of Geocities and going into AOLchat rooms acting like a complete fool.

Internet 2001 is a topsy turvy world where a search for porn seems a bit surreal. Sure you don't get the contrast you would if you popped in some 70's porn and got an afro in your face, but there's a bit of innocence to 2001 porn. Back then, 1 girl and 1 cup was the standard. It's clear that we have been desensitized to the point where we can't get off unless something strange and abnormal happens. I weep for the future generations and what they need in order to get their rocks off.

And considering this is what wikipedia was back then, I just have to question how we ever wrote any book reports as a kid. And how could we go about and not make note that it was 7 years ago that Chinese Democracy came out. Oh wait.. that never happened. Then again there's a lot of things that didn't. Duke Nukem forever still gets an eerily similar result in the search. All of which have it pointing as vaporware.

With all this retrospect into the past it's hard not to linger on those yesteryears. Moments past, roads traveled and then looked back on. Situations and choices made. All that jazz that could crush a person if they aren't careful. There's many times in my life where I'm sure I would be a different person if I chose a different path. Often I went down the one less traveled, other times I went down the one everyone seemed to go on.

We shouldn't question ourselves or our choices. The passion that drove us to those choices should be something we respect and admire. It defines you as an individual. As that unique snow flake that you constantly were told you are as a child. To feel contempt or regret for ones motivations should be the thing that people should feel guilt over.



I then run into this article, which just strengthens my thoughts.

Woman celebrates 105th birthday, pure and simple

AS A child growing up in New Zealand, Clara Meadmore had a hunch she would never have sex. Today, as she celebrates her 105th birthday in a nursing home in Cornwall, that belief has been proved right as she makes headlines as the world's oldest virgin.

Daily exercise, moderate drinking and not smoking have all been championed for people living long lives, but Miss Meadmore is adamant her secret is abstaining from sex. "I imagine there is a lot of hassle involved, and I have always been busy doing other things," she said. "I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been bothered about relationships."

Having emigrated to New Zealand with her family when she was 12, Miss Meadmore abstained from sex because it was frowned on unless people were married. She has never owned a television, and says she has filled her time with reading, gardening, cooking and listening to the radio.

I'm left wondering.. Why? Why would you deny yourself life. Why would you not attempt to try everything in life. Yeah, sure you lived a long life. But ask yourself if you've lived a full life. Not to mention that this goes against the whole point of Darwinism. It's not a lack of sex that has kept her living to a ripe old age, it's her genes. Those very same genes that have not been past on to anyone that contain the building blocks for a long life span. Way to be greedy there, old lady.

In looking at my life and the mistakes I've made and the choices I've made, I'm glad. I'm excited that I learned from them and I'm beyond thrilled that I survived this long. I'm constantly learning, always expanding. Much like google, at one point the search results were few and as you can tell from google 2001, vastly different than google in 2008.

Enjoy the here and now. Learn to make the best out of those mistakes you make and learn something from them. It's all part of a life experience that teaches you to be the person you are today. Start living because you already started dying. Best enjoy every minute of every day you have offered to you.