Babies Don't Make For Good Paper Weights....

Babies Don't Make For Good Paper Weights....

But they make for excellent anchors! I'm not sure I have words to describe how shocked I am that "anchor baby" is used in serious political discussion in this country. God damn, it makes me feel ashamed. I mean, really? Anchor baby? ANCHOR BABY? Fuck.

In another 50 years Anchor baby is going to be as worse, it not far worse than Porch Monkey and Tar Baby. Maybe the preferred term is now going to be Swoop and Squat or Drop and leave... how about First and ten?

But sure enough, the republicans hate anyone from the Southern hemisphere according to The Guardian

Republicans move to block US citizenship for children of illegal aliens

Senators plan to halt 'invasion by birth canal' by overturning constitutional guarantee for anyone born on US soil



Senior Republicans have escalated the increasingly bitter fight over immigration with proposals to rewrite the US constitution to block the children of illegal aliens from obtaining citizenship.

In the latest move to inflame the racially tinged issue ahead of November's congressional and state elections, Republican senators say they intend to call hearings on overturning the 14th amendment to the constitution, which grants citizenship to anyone born in the US. Leading Republicans have denounced the provision as outdated, saying it encourages "invasion by birth canal" in which illegal immigrants smuggle themselves into the US to have "anchor babies".

The change is being pushed by the Republican whip in the Senate, John Kyl, and senator Lindsey Graham, who said that "birthright citizenship is a mistake".

"People come here to have babies," said Graham. "They come here to drop a child. It's called drop and leave. To have a child in America, they cross the border, they go to the emergency room, have a child, and that child is automatically an American citizen. That shouldn't be the case. That attracts people here for all the wrong reasons."

Kyl and Graham support changing the 14th amendment to specifically bar the children of illegal immigrants from citizenship.

"If both parents are here illegally, should there be a reward for their illegal behaviour?" said Kyl.The move has been given added momentum by the Republican leader in the Senate, Mitch McConnell, who has thrown his weight behind the proposal for hearings on the issue.

Lamar Smith, the senior Republican on the House of Representatives judiciary committee, has introduced legislation to deny citizenship to children of illegal immigrants. More than 90 members of the House are co-sponsoring the bill.

Advocates of tighter restrictions, such as the Federation for American Immigration Reform , estimate that more than 425,000 children are born to illegal aliens in the US each year.

"The funds that state and local governments must provide to anchor babies amounts to a virtual tax on US citizens to subsidise illegal aliens," the group claimed. "The anchor baby problem has grown to such large proportions that the United States can no longer afford to ignore it. The logical first step for correcting the problem is for Congress to adopt legislation clarifying the meaning of the 14th amendment."

The 14th amendment was adopted in 1868 after the civil war to block laws that prevented former slaves from becoming US citizens. Reform must be approved by two-thirds of both houses of Congress and ratified by three-quarters of US states or by calling a convention by the states.The Obama administration won a court injunction last week against key parts of Arizona's legislation that requires police to check the immigration status of suspected illegal aliens.

Virginia's Republican leadership has announced that the state police will check the immigration status of anyone they stop. Previously, the Virginia authorities investigated the legal status only of those who were charged with a crime or imprisoned.

Finally we get a solution to all those illegal aliens tossing their illegal babies across the border like they were rag dolls. You see everyone in that picture above? They're all descendants of an illegal immigrant. Their couldn't be a bigger picture of "Fuck you, got mine" than that.

When the contractions started, I told Jose "It's time. Drive me to the border crossing."

If you're not offended to your core, as an America, by the idea of this proposed change in the constitution, just kill yourself now. At least we're just going for the heart of the matter. The republicans want to repeal the 14th amendment, undo black citizenship, reinstate pre-civil war legal system. There is no better way to yell "I'M RACIST!" without actually yelling out thoe exact words.

So what does this bill actually say? Here's the text of the bill:

A BILL

To amend section 301 of the Immigration and Nationality Act to clarify those classes of individuals born in the United States who are nationals and citizens of the United States at birth.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the `Birthright Citizenship Act of 2009'.

SEC. 2. CITIZENSHIP AT BIRTH FOR CERTAIN PERSONS BORN IN THE UNITED STATES.

(a) In General- Section 301 of the Immigration and Nationality Act (8 U.S.C. 1401) is amended--

(1) by inserting `(a) IN GENERAL- ' before `The following';

(2) by redesignating paragraphs (a) through (h) as paragraphs (1) through (8); and

(3) by adding at the end the following:

`(b) Definition- Acknowledging the right of birthright citizenship established by section 1 of the 14th amendment to the Constitution, a person born in the United States shall be considered `subject to the jurisdiction' of the United States for purposes of subsection (a)(1) if the person is born in the United States of parents, one of whom is--

`(1) a citizen or national of the United States;

`(2) an alien lawfully admitted for permanent residence in the United States whose residence is in the United States; or

`(3) an alien performing active service in the armed forces (as defined in section 101 of title 10, United States Code).'.

(b) Applicability- The amendment made by subsection (a)(3) shall not be construed to affect the citizenship or nationality status of any person born before the date of the enactment of this Act.

You see, the constitution is a sacred document that is perfect as is. Except for this part. Yeah, this part right here. The rest are cool though. No queers too please. In short we want to protect the Constitution, a Holy Text inspired by Jesus, except the parts that benefit browns.

Just don't touch the 2nd amendment, all right? When it comes to the republican party it's all about the constitution, except for the parts we don't like. We might as well tweak a couple more of the four father's fine work;

Bearing in mind that the 14th Amendment explicitly grants citizenship to anyone born on US soil, we hereby declare and interpret that Amendment as saying that being born on US does not grant citizenship..

Bearing in mind that the 13th Amendment explicitly forbids involuntary servitude, we hereby declare and interpret that Amendment as allowing involuntary servitude.

The whole thing is hilariously ironic because it all started when people pointed out that parents were being separated from their children due to bad policy in an attempt to humanize immigrants, but instead they became even more terrible.

Sure does sound like something Americans would do with full knowledge. Perhaps the only amendment that should ever be repealed is the 22nd so we can re-elect George Walker Bush indefinitely. At least he was good to laugh at.

While our policy is a lot more loose than others, it's still our system. Did you know that you can only be born a German citizen if at least one of your parents has had a permanent residency permit for three years and has been in the country 8 years?

If neither of your parents have citizenship in Denmark, you must wait until you're 18 to apply for one, even if you were born there. You must also pass an error-ridden test that most Danes probably couldn't pass since the majority of high school kids couldn't in a recent survey. Answering such culturally and politically significant questions as "When did Denmark win the European football championship?", "When did Denmark win the wold handball championship?" and "Who directed the 'olsen gang' series of movies?". A true test of citizenship worthiness.

Just a little reminder that Europe is more racist than America... but not by much.

Good luck enforcing the law with any seemingly legitimate authority if The People withdraw their consent to be governed. They're making a mountain out of a molehill with this whole thing.

In order to revoke birthright citizenship, you'd have to amend the Constitution. The chances of the military budget getting gutted, and all US troops being withdrawn back to the Fatherland has a higher chance of happening than this whole thing.

It's just a show to look tough on Mexicans. There's no way it comes close to 3/4 of states ratifying such a thing. And it shouldn't be news to anyone that it wont past, but it's still a goddamn heinous thing to do. Perhaps we should have just annexed Mexico in 1848, problem would have been solved a long time ago.

And if it's any matter to you, here's a list of congressmen who can be put on the black list for when the revolution comes. For they will be the first with their backs against the wall;

http://www.redmassgroup.com/diary/9...hip-act-of-2009

In short, this entire nation is predicated upon this idea. Half of those fucking names on that list are some Scots/Irish/German/Italian bullshit they're forefathers would have been kicked out under this law.

Buying American.... Apparel

Buying American.... Apparel

I'm not much of an American Apparel fan. I mean, I don't go into their store and shop. I'm not a hipster after all. I do like the fact that their shirts actually fit in the size that they claim to be. Too often I have tried a large shirt that felt like an extra large shirt. But the ones from American Apparel seem to be pretty dead on.

When I'm buying Threadless shirts (I swear, I'm not a hipster!) I usually jump up when I see there's an AA version of it. I mean, threadless shirts shrink enough as is, might as well get the right fit, right?



One thing that they have been pretty much gung-ho about is legalizing L.A., meaning that they want to make it easier for any worker, no matter who or what nation you claim home, to work here. To add to that, they pay a pretty decent wage. It's not by any means a sweat shop. Though, with the latest news, I'm sure everyone is going to start tossing that phrase around.

Let's face it. We associate them with the perv company owner and making hipster clothes. Well, that's why this story is sort of funny. You see, it's a simple matter that it's poor people are making the clothes for hipsters who want to pay a lot of money to look ironically poor. Whoa. Thats like when you're at a haircut salon and the mirrors are just bouncing back and forth forever.



I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, but American Apparel found to have 1,600 undocumented workers.

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement believes that about one-third of American Apparel Inc.'s Los Angeles work force isn't eligible to work in the country.

ICE said 1,600 employees appear not to be authorized to work in the U.S., American Apparel disclosed in a Securities and Exchange Commission filing late Tuesday. Those employees appear to have obtained employment by providing documentation which ICE believes to be suspect and not valid, American Apparel said.

ICE wasn't able to verify the employment eligibility of a further 200 employees because of discrepancies in these employees' records, the company said.

The company said ICE representatives conducted an inspection in January to check the company's compliance with immigration law.

American Apparel, which is based in Los Angeles, said that if the employees aren't able to provide proper documentation, they will be forced to leave the company. It said losing the affected employees wouldn't have a material effect on its business. The company said it intends to continue to cooperate with regulators.

ICE's notification provided no indication that the company knowingly or intentionally hired unauthorized aliens and no criminal charges have been filed against the company or any current employees, according to the company's filing.

American Apparel Chief Executive Dov Charney has been an advocate for immigration reform and boasts that his trendy t-shirts and other items are made "sweatshop-free."

"It is the company's hope -- and my personal hope as an immigrant myself -- that these employees are able to confirm their work authorization so that they may continue to work at American Apparel," Mr. Charney said in a prepared statement.

American Apparel in May agreed to pay $5 million to filmmaker Woody Allen to end a lawsuit accusing the retailer of unauthorized use of the director's image in an ad campaign.

In danger of default earlier in the year, the company secured $80 million in capital from private-equity firm Lion Capital LLP.

On the one hand, employment for immigrants is rather nice, on the other hand.. you have the demise of American Apparel thus making hipster wear a thing of the past.... Tough choice. I mean, what's so wrong with paying illegal immigrants a fair wage (well, at least min. wage) and not abusing them? Well, at least not sexually harassing them too often. This is American Apparel after all.



I'm not entirely sure I'm agreeing with the outrage this is causing. I can't really be upset at a company providing well-paying jobs to thousands and not whoring out their manufacturing to the cheapest bidder who inevitably exploits the 3rd world for their products. If anything, the only whoring done here is to the models that adorn the bus stops and ads that AA does.



I even got into an argument about this. There take on all this was:

There are plenty of legal immigrants and natural born citizens that need fucking jobs right now. Also they pay the illegal immigrants a fair wage that's a shitload less than they would normally pay their workers. It's fucking bullshit I don't care what you faggots say. I do a lot of work in factories and you see it so much it starts to fucking piss you off. Especially when you have friends who are basically starving because they can't find a job.

I'm not saying fuck illegal immigrants, I'm saying fuck the scumbag employers.

To that I say... Um... "Waaaaaaaaah. My friends were born on the correct side of this arbitrary line.... They deserve jobs!!!"

I mean, seriously, what kind of thought process makes you think that immigrants don't spend their money and/or contribute to the society they're considered illegal aliens of?



The problem here is that AA has some really poor verification practices in that all these workers had paper work.. the only thing was that it's fake paper works. So the workers are still paying into taxes, and not getting a refund by the way. They're also paying social security.. under whatever fake number they put on the application of course. So they're still putting into the pot. If anything, they're not getting anything back from that pot. If they have an injury or need to go to the doctor, they can't pull anything out of that pot.

As for the jobs. It's not like AA was exclusivly hiring illegals to pay them less than normal workers. To them, they were normal workers. But now with 1,600 job openings, I'm sure whoever wanted to work in a fair wage sweat shop can knock themselves out. I'm pretty sure there's not going to be that many takers on the whole thing.



What other companies are marketed as all american and yet abuse the workers to no end with piss poor wages? Probably the beer companies like anheuser-busch and miller.. toss in Coors to the list. So really, can we drop this "MADE IN AMERICA, BY AMERICANS!" bullshit. NAFTA already killed that American dream a long time ago. Especially if you're so used to paying dirt cheap prices from Wal-mart and other super centers. It's not going to be easy to keep those low prices when the workers unionize... which, while I am a union worker, isn't always a thing that is great for the employer.



Besides, can you really get mad at the quality of the product? Though the shirts do come in at a little tight and well, I haven't been into an AA for.. um... ever really. I've never been into one. I buy them online or through other vendors like Threadless or those wholesellers that get them from AA.



These are pretty specific shirts. Add in that they're not making a whole lot off each shirt sold. Whole sellers sell them for about $10 on ebay and the stores price of $20 seems to be on scale for what they charge the whole sellers to buy them. A whopping $5 bucks or so. They're cheap.. but they're not made cheap. On average, I've found that my AA shirts last about a week or two longer than a regular shirt given the work out I put it through.

So it's no wonder that hipsters attach themselves to this brand. It does have a throw back to the fashion of the 70's-80's and fashion, much like Television and anything else really, goes in 20 year cycles. Those that grew up with whatever it is they grew up with, will make it popular again when they have the power to.



So the claims that American Apparel clothes are basically over priced plain wal-mart t-shirts. Those people have not worn American Apparel. It's much different and thus that claim doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Now, this doesn't even touch the promotion of this product. You know, all the pictures that I have put into this blog entery.. Yeah, those. I have no way to really defend those nor would I. It's pretty much know that the owner of AA is a weird perv with all manner of harassment/assault charges against him by his employees and others. But what does that have to do with this article?



Look at Michael Jackson. He may have been a perv that was on trial a couple of times for questionable practices with kids.. but he still made Thriller, one of the best all time albums. Ha ha! It's often the really strange that create the really great. I think the ads are a little creepy... Ok, a lot creepy.

I mean, half of them look like they're a photo or two away from the one that a child molestor gets tossed in jail for. But that has nothing to do with AA's practices as a company... well, at least not the behind the scenes practices. Their ad department is just really strange and really lacking in clothes.



But at least this method of finding illegal aliens is a whole lot better than busting doors and taking people from their families in the middle of the night. You have to give it to the workers though, they're trying hard to make a living in this city and they're contributing to the pot, no matter what anyone says.

Besides, even if they're hiring illegals, they're still doing a lot of good. I mean, they also hire porn stars as well for their marketing. So while they don't put much clothes on the models for the ads, at least it's a lot more clothes than those same models would be wearing during their day job. Who said that AA doesn't care to make you feel casual... or as if some creepy guy is taking pictures of you with a polaroid camera.



I mean, it's not like they were the first ones to ever go with the "Sex sells" mentality. Besides, I have to say, that ad is pretty god damn hot. I think I want to get me some of those socks... not for me, of course. Hey, they're tapping into an untouched market of porn stars, right?

Then again that ad is pretty tame considering the other ads that they've released. Even if the ad is making a reference that the gal, who you should NOT google image while you're at work, is getting it on.



I'm sure all of these final comments aren't helping my case and if anything, are negating all the positive things I said about the company. Yup. Now you're thinking that they're just some pervs with nothing to add.. other than a good amount of business to the local economy to the state of California, which I hear has had a budget problem. Hmmmm.

Well, if that's the case, I'll just leave you with this funny piece that you'll agree with and laugh along with me at. Why? Because it's so true.

The End Of Bacon Stupidity Month Part 1

The End Of Bacon Stupidity Month Part 1

So we come to the end of Bacon Stupidity Month. What is bacon stupidity month? It's the whole month of February according to Mike Nelson. Don't worry it'll make sense later. With the end of it I think that it's only fitting to put it on February since the shortest month of the year reflects perfectly that you'll have a shorter life span with all the bacon grease.

But let's not focus on the bad side of bacon for the time being. There's time for that in a little bit. Let's focus on how Bacon is a wonder meat. It comes from a magical animal. One so magical that most religions don't dare eat it. Why not? Well, I think that it'll make heaven look pale in comparison.


Mr. Bacon Head

Some say that pigs are way too closely related to humans for people to eat. I guess that just means I'm one step closer to being a cannibal because I'm not going to stop eating this beast. Just because men are called the Ultimate pigs doesn't mean it's actually true. Homer J. Simpson called the pig A wonderful, Magical animal. I'm sticking by his word on it cause he's Homer J. Simpson.

So why is this just a part 1? Well, part 2 will focus on some other aspect about bacon. I just wanted to focus on the food aspect of bacon in this one. Is that a little confusing? Well, no shit bacon is a food to be consumed, but the way it's consumed is not really what one would consider healthy. As you can see from the This Is Why You're Fat's website, it shows us that there's a far range of food that really shouldn't have bacon up with it. Lets focus on some of the stranger dishes Bacon has been showing up on.

I'm not one who hates meatloaf. I didn't have it enough as a kid cause I'm Mexican and would just have beans as my utility meal. It was one of the first things I learned how to make when I was about 9. But even my nine year old mind didn't think that this was a good idea. If you want to punish yourself you can try some Bacon-Wrapped Meatloaf With A Layer Of Mac And Cheese



Bacon and cheese would make any Jew do some flips and run away. Well, it would normally be something delicious unless you went overboard and put too much of a good thing in one item. I know, I know. "Too much bacon? No such thing!" But trust me it can be as you can see from this Three bacon-stuffed grilled cheese sandwich... cheese, bacon and two four-ounce beefs patties.



I'm not sure what pothead came up with this, but it's Bacon wrapped corn.. Yeah, I'm not sure what will fully come out in the long run...



The basic bacon wrapped scallops always look delicious. Personally, I'm a fan of just the scallops alone.



Now I'm not sure what the big deal with this is. For many years I would cover my thanksgiving turkey in bacon before I put it in the oven. It offered a lot of flavor and if you were stuck with the dark meat, it was nice to enjoy some crispy bacon with it. So I can't say anything bad about this Bacon Wrapped Turkey



Did Oysters really need the bacon wrapping? They're pretty slimy, how do you even get one wrapped in the raw bacon to get it to cook? Very strange but that's porkin' that clam. Oh yeah! Bacon Wrapped Oysters.



A new twist on bacon and eggs by having it Eggs in Bacon. Of course it's cooked in the bacon casing. I'm not sure how they pulled this off but I would like to try it.



I'm not even sure if this one could be considered... anything good. It's a bacon wrapped... well.. you see what it is. I'm not sure if you want to actually eat it. Look at that thing.. EWWWW!



Check out this pork on pork action. Oh yeah. You know, bacon wrapped cased meat is something, as a Mexican, I know all too well.



Yet another pig and pig action. Clearly there's a running theme. Maybe I need to get on this since we're even seeing cocktail weenies get the bacon wrap treatment



So hey. do you want to know a secret? With all this talk about Bacon wrapped things I went out and tried to replicate what I've seen on the streets of East L.A. That is, bacon wrapped hot dogs. You'll see them outside of nightclubs at 2am and there's really no better greasy food to soak up a long night of drinking. Bacon around a sausage.

I figured it couldn't be THAT hard, right? Get a baking sheet and put a propane lit fire under it. Wrap bacon around hot dogs and you got yourself something to munch on.



It got messy. Really really messy. I know now why it's not legal to cook these on the street. The bacon grease jumps like no one's business. The first few ones will stick because the baking sheet is in need of grease. I figured I would be "healthy" and NOT add more grease. So it took a few dogs to get the ball rolling.



But once it got off the ground, the bacon wrapped hot dog making was A-ok. Towards the end you just add in the onions and green peppers and you got yourself a good BBQ experience that not everyone can claim they had. I cooked some bacon on the side to grease it up some more and to add more bacon on whatever hot dog needed it.



Now to turn to the ugly underbelly (not to tasty underbelly) of pork. The dangers it could provide. You see you have to be careful because If you inhale too much pig brains you'll get sick..

Doctors didn't know what caused the problem, but tests found severe spinal cord inflammation, suggesting an autoimmune disorder: the patients' immune systems no longer recognize their bodies' nerves, and attacked them.

Over the following months, the number of cases rose to 24, and past cases of a similar condition were uncovered at a meat processing plant in Indiana. Doctors scrambled to find a common clue. Both plants were among a total of three in the country to process pig brains for consumption — and each of the 24 workers at the Minnesota plant worked in the "head table" room.

At the head table, pig heads were cut open and the brains forced out with a burst of compressed air. In the process — a process that took place about 1,400 times an hour — some of the brains were blown into a fine mist. Not everyone in the room got stick, but the closer people stood to the table, the more likely they were to be afflicted.

"When you're breathing in pig brain tissue, your body develops an antibody against it," said Mayo Clinic neurologist James Dyck, who helped treat the workers. Antibodies are chemicals used by the immune system to tag foreign bacteria and substances. "There's enough overlap between pig brains and human brains that it was a problem."

I have to say, pig brains sound like a tasty thing if you're a zombie meat eater. Toss them on tortillas with some lettuce, tomatoes, and a nice sauce and you have a good street corner taco stand. Inhaling, probably not so much.



As if having 1600% of your daily cholesterol intake didn't make pig brains bad enough, apparently now you can get nerve damage from inhaling them too. I'm sure someone at OSHA had a field day with this.

Then again, if you think that's gross, then don't ever eat a hot dog. If you've ever eaten a hot dog chances are you've eaten pig brain. All sorts of 'mechanically reclaimed meat' goes into hot dogs. The brain is not one of those that is tossed out. Maybe that's a little too much info for you. I don't know. It shouldn't discourage you from enjoying hot dogs. Just don't ask how sausage is made. But enjoy your pork.

Preview for later today?