Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Babies Don't Make For Good Paper Weights....

Babies Don't Make For Good Paper Weights....

But they make for excellent anchors! I'm not sure I have words to describe how shocked I am that "anchor baby" is used in serious political discussion in this country. God damn, it makes me feel ashamed. I mean, really? Anchor baby? ANCHOR BABY? Fuck.

In another 50 years Anchor baby is going to be as worse, it not far worse than Porch Monkey and Tar Baby. Maybe the preferred term is now going to be Swoop and Squat or Drop and leave... how about First and ten?

But sure enough, the republicans hate anyone from the Southern hemisphere according to The Guardian
Republicans move to block US citizenship for children of illegal aliens

Senators plan to halt 'invasion by birth canal' by overturning constitutional guarantee for anyone born on US soil

Senior Republicans have escalated the increasingly bitter fight over immigration with proposals to rewrite the US constitution to block the children of illegal aliens from obtaining citizenship.

In the latest move to inflame the racially tinged issue ahead of November's congressional and state elections, Republican senators say they intend to call hearings on overturning the 14th amendment to the constitution, which grants citizenship to anyone born in the US. Leading Republicans have denounced the provision as outdated, saying it encourages "invasion by birth canal" in which illegal immigrants smuggle themselves into the US to have "anchor babies".

The change is being pushed by the Republican whip in the Senate, John Kyl, and senator Lindsey Graham, who said that "birthright citizenship is a mistake".

"People come here to have babies," said Graham. "They come here to drop a child. It's called drop and leave. To have a child in America, they cross the border, they go to the emergency room, have a child, and that child is automatically an American citizen. That shouldn't be the case. That attracts people here for all the wrong reasons."

Kyl and Graham support changing the 14th amendment to specifically bar the children of illegal immigrants from citizenship.

"If both parents are here illegally, should there be a reward for their illegal behaviour?" said Kyl.The move has been given added momentum by the Republican leader in the Senate, Mitch McConnell, who has thrown his weight behind the proposal for hearings on the issue.

Lamar Smith, the senior Republican on the House of Representatives judiciary committee, has introduced legislation to deny citizenship to children of illegal immigrants. More than 90 members of the House are co-sponsoring the bill.

Advocates of tighter restrictions, such as the Federation for American Immigration Reform , estimate that more than 425,000 children are born to illegal aliens in the US each year.

"The funds that state and local governments must provide to anchor babies amounts to a virtual tax on US citizens to subsidise illegal aliens," the group claimed. "The anchor baby problem has grown to such large proportions that the United States can no longer afford to ignore it. The logical first step for correcting the problem is for Congress to adopt legislation clarifying the meaning of the 14th amendment."

The 14th amendment was adopted in 1868 after the civil war to block laws that prevented former slaves from becoming US citizens. Reform must be approved by two-thirds of both houses of Congress and ratified by three-quarters of US states or by calling a convention by the states.The Obama administration won a court injunction last week against key parts of Arizona's legislation that requires police to check the immigration status of suspected illegal aliens.

Virginia's Republican leadership has announced that the state police will check the immigration status of anyone they stop. Previously, the Virginia authorities investigated the legal status only of those who were charged with a crime or imprisoned.
Finally we get a solution to all those illegal aliens tossing their illegal babies across the border like they were rag dolls. You see everyone in that picture above? They're all descendants of an illegal immigrant. Their couldn't be a bigger picture of "Fuck you, got mine" than that.

When the contractions started, I told Jose "It's time. Drive me to the border crossing."

If you're not offended to your core, as an America, by the idea of this proposed change in the constitution, just kill yourself now. At least we're just going for the heart of the matter. The republicans want to repeal the 14th amendment, undo black citizenship, reinstate pre-civil war legal system. There is no better way to yell "I'M RACIST!" without actually yelling out thoe exact words.

So what does this bill actually say? Here's the text of the bill:

To amend section 301 of the Immigration and Nationality Act to clarify those classes of individuals born in the United States who are nationals and citizens of the United States at birth.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,


This Act may be cited as the `Birthright Citizenship Act of 2009'.


(a) In General- Section 301 of the Immigration and Nationality Act (8 U.S.C. 1401) is amended--

(1) by inserting `(a) IN GENERAL- ' before `The following';

(2) by redesignating paragraphs (a) through (h) as paragraphs (1) through (8); and

(3) by adding at the end the following:

`(b) Definition- Acknowledging the right of birthright citizenship established by section 1 of the 14th amendment to the Constitution, a person born in the United States shall be considered `subject to the jurisdiction' of the United States for purposes of subsection (a)(1) if the person is born in the United States of parents, one of whom is--

`(1) a citizen or national of the United States;

`(2) an alien lawfully admitted for permanent residence in the United States whose residence is in the United States; or

`(3) an alien performing active service in the armed forces (as defined in section 101 of title 10, United States Code).'.

(b) Applicability- The amendment made by subsection (a)(3) shall not be construed to affect the citizenship or nationality status of any person born before the date of the enactment of this Act.
You see, the constitution is a sacred document that is perfect as is. Except for this part. Yeah, this part right here. The rest are cool though. No queers too please. In short we want to protect the Constitution, a Holy Text inspired by Jesus, except the parts that benefit browns.

Just don't touch the 2nd amendment, all right? When it comes to the republican party it's all about the constitution, except for the parts we don't like. We might as well tweak a couple more of the four father's fine work;
Bearing in mind that the 14th Amendment explicitly grants citizenship to anyone born on US soil, we hereby declare and interpret that Amendment as saying that being born on US does not grant citizenship..

Bearing in mind that the 13th Amendment explicitly forbids involuntary servitude, we hereby declare and interpret that Amendment as allowing involuntary servitude.

The whole thing is hilariously ironic because it all started when people pointed out that parents were being separated from their children due to bad policy in an attempt to humanize immigrants, but instead they became even more terrible.

Sure does sound like something Americans would do with full knowledge. Perhaps the only amendment that should ever be repealed is the 22nd so we can re-elect George Walker Bush indefinitely. At least he was good to laugh at.

While our policy is a lot more loose than others, it's still our system. Did you know that you can only be born a German citizen if at least one of your parents has had a permanent residency permit for three years and has been in the country 8 years?

If neither of your parents have citizenship in Denmark, you must wait until you're 18 to apply for one, even if you were born there. You must also pass an error-ridden test that most Danes probably couldn't pass since the majority of high school kids couldn't in a recent survey. Answering such culturally and politically significant questions as "When did Denmark win the European football championship?", "When did Denmark win the wold handball championship?" and "Who directed the 'olsen gang' series of movies?". A true test of citizenship worthiness.

Just a little reminder that Europe is more racist than America... but not by much.

Good luck enforcing the law with any seemingly legitimate authority if The People withdraw their consent to be governed. They're making a mountain out of a molehill with this whole thing.

In order to revoke birthright citizenship, you'd have to amend the Constitution. The chances of the military budget getting gutted, and all US troops being withdrawn back to the Fatherland has a higher chance of happening than this whole thing.

It's just a show to look tough on Mexicans. There's no way it comes close to 3/4 of states ratifying such a thing. And it shouldn't be news to anyone that it wont past, but it's still a goddamn heinous thing to do. Perhaps we should have just annexed Mexico in 1848, problem would have been solved a long time ago.

And if it's any matter to you, here's a list of congressmen who can be put on the black list for when the revolution comes. For they will be the first with their backs against the wall;


In short, this entire nation is predicated upon this idea. Half of those fucking names on that list are some Scots/Irish/German/Italian bullshit they're forefathers would have been kicked out under this law.

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