Showing posts with label lies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lies. Show all posts

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Fun Random Facts

Fun Random Facts
That are not true at all

Today I thought I would give you a list of random facts that you may not know and would probably increase your knowledge on the world around you ten fold. These are "Facts" that you should know. Why don't you know this stuff? Well, I'm here to change that right now.

Q-tip is actually short for "Queen's tip", it was originally invented for Queen Victoria, who was well known to suffer from excess earwax.

The US government doesn't regulate the amount of ingredients that can go into beer like Europe does so in case a nuclear war started preservative filled American beer would last longer and keep up morale for the hard months ahead.

Humans have bare skin instead of fur because sweaty skin reflects a lot of sunlight, keeping our African ancestors cool during long hot hunts.

Many birds like the sparrow have spotted eggs because the spots look like flies, fooling passing predators into thinking they are dead and rotten.

The reason humans have acne is because it was once considered a symbol of health. If someone ate a lot of oily and fatty foods, that person would survive longer in times of famine, and would also have more acne to show for it. Thus, acne at one point was considered attractive.

Semen can actually be used as a conditioning product for hair, as it is mostly made of sugars and proteins.

The human immune system is slow to react, so by the time a person is showing symptoms of being ill, they are no longer contagious.

The reason humans evolved to enjoy music and making music is because it was originally used as sound to warn off predators. The patterns and sound that we as humans enjoy hearing in music are also the patterns and sounds that are optimal for scaring off wild animals.

Pound for pound, the robin is the most aggressive bird.

The US census was used to round up Japanese-American citizens and immigrants into internment camps in World War 2.

A Canadian invented the sport of hockey.


Mount Rushmore was originally going to be a monument depicting the Marx brothers, however the rights couldn't be secured.

The government put chemical additives in our water supplies that can be seen when light refracts off droplets.

If you put one hand in boiling hot water, and one hand in freezing cold water, neither one will hurt.

Big Al says dogs can't look up.

The pressure from holding in sneezes damages the capillaries in your nose.

The US Government once experimented with using ducks as early warning systems against nuclear strikes. However the ducks only sounded the warning within the blast radius once the bomb had been detonated. The system ended up being scrapped as "redundant" due to the flesh searing heat being equally effective a warning as the ducks, merely a few seconds slower.

In proportion to our body size, humans have amongst the smallest penises in the animal kingdom.

Every day, six penguins die from hypothermia.

Due to an unforeseen manufacturing error all Comcast subscribers can get HBO and Showtime for free just by flipping over their cable box. Unfortunately, Cinemax is piped directly into your home through satellite so it doesn't work for that.

1% Milk is just that: 1% Milk.

The remaining 99% is comprised mostly of pus, rodent and insect parts -- which contains vitamins A, B, and D, which are are particularly good for bone growth in children.

The FDA does regulate the quality of pus, rodent and insect parts used in milk production.

Walt Disney chose the Anaheim, California location for his first theme park due its unique rock formation which resembled the Swiss Matterhorn.

In a 2009 survey of over 100,000 adults in North America, Europe and Australia, 8.3 percent of the men and 22.2 percent of the women said they had been out in public without underwear at least once in the previous twelve months.



In three counties in Ireland it is illegal to have a funeral on St. Patrick's

Anti-matter actually has negative mass, and thus a reverse gravitational field.

An American invented the sport of basketball!

Baseball used to have a military application.

The first grenades were rather unpredictable, and getting them at a safe distance while throwing them was hard, until a Leonardo da Vinci realized that the French game of "balle au bâton" could be used to propel grenades as far as possible. He then devised a primitive grenade with a slow chemical reaction that would cause the grenade to explode after about 200 feet of flight. A grenadier would have to carry a bat and swing at the grenade he had thrown in front of himself to send it flying down the center of the battlefield. If he made a slight contact with the grenade without propelling it over his allies, he would yell out "STRIKE" to have people run away.

The inherent danger made their use fan out until the invention of more modern hand grenades, but having a good batter could at some point change the outcome of a battle. One that could hit the grenade far enough could even reach the generals' tents, and hit "home base."


Most (not all) nokia phones have a reserve battery, present in all versions but only available through the menu in versions distributed to emergency personnel. You can activate it manually by entering *3370#. The phone will restart in backup mode.

Up until 1984, the legal drinking age in the Northwest Territories was 12 for males and 16 for females.

The Apollo space program was named such because the program Administrator often frequented the Apollo theater in New York

The right side of a ship is to this day called "starboard" because sailors voyaging to the New World knew that, in times of a faulty compass, as long as the North Star was on the right side of the ship they would maintain a Westward course.

Don't bother yelling at disobedient or disruptive toddlers, the sense of hearing normally only develops in humans around the age of 4 and a half.

The highest honor in the Chinese Army is to have a chicken dish named after you. The higher the honor, the spicier the dish

The government routinely leaves messages for spies in convenience stores, and the messages are printed on the receipts when a certain combination of items are purchased. I've said too much already.

The IQ test actually bottoms out at 2. That is the IQ of a pencil (the dumbest of all arthropods), and that's where the "#2 Pencil" comes from.

It would take 35,480 gallons of black ink to print off the entire internet.

You're gonna have to start paying for Facebook soon unless you join this group.

Old people "smell funny" because they are walking corpses whose rotting bodies no longer contain a soul.

You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex.

At the current rate of consumption the United States will be out of 'freedoms' in 2014.

Barack Hussein Obama is not an American citizen. However, he is not Kenyan either! Barack Hussein Obama is, in fact, a full-blooded Swede whose real name is Björn Hjalkervich.

If the polar ice caps melted due to global warming, we would lose about 4 hours of a day as a result of the change of the earth's moment of inertia.


There you go folks. Entirely true facts that you are now a smarter person for knowing ... Even though they're complete bullshit.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Army Ads - Lying To Get You To Sign The Dotted Line

Army Ads - Lying To Get You To Sign The Dotted Line

I have to say, the worse ads I have ever seen have been those for the armed forces. These are methods to get morons to sign up for the forces to go to other countries and kill kill kill. I remember these growing up and thinking that they were pretty bad. But it has been more in my face on how utterly insane these ads are the more that I see them.

Let's take a stroll through some of these awful ads so you can see how bad they really can get.



That has to be the worse ad I have ever seen for the Marines. I mean, what the fuck does this whole lava monster mean? Back when it first was released in the 90's there was desert storm to join up for. Or did we not have a "protecting your freedom" excuse during that time? Well, I guess the lava monster is a metaphor for women and children

This one follows the same model in making you think that getting through the Marines is like going through a maze or some shit. I really don't know. Maybe they just saw Labyrinth one too many times



What the fuck is up with the sword again anyway. You're more than likely asking if you actually get a sword. Yes, you do. But you have to pay for it or if you manage to recruit five guys or something along those lines you get one for free. I'm dead serious. 5 human lives for a kickass sword is pretty good

At least this next one tells it like it is.



Yes, it's upfront with you. YOU ARE A PAWN. Then again, you may be saying that the guy who is highlighted in the ads is actually a knight. Don't mistake that, your role in this whole thing is as a pawn, the pawn that died immediately at the beginning of the ad.

This is one that goes a different route in that it questions your manhood.



The only thing I got out of that ads was that minivans are for Pussies. Only real men fly planes and open up on a playground with a mark 19.

But is there any easier target than video game players?



Especially when they make the video games themselves..



Then again, this isn't the first time these ads for the armed forces were so stupid. Look at this one from the 50's.



How about we take a look at the army ads from other countries



Oh those Japanese. Notice how it's for defense only. They're still on time out due to WWII



If that doesn't make you cry.. you have no heart and should be bombed on non-stop.



Now that is pretty funny. I'm sure you get the message in that ad. Join now and you'll get laid. Here's a little fun fact that I learned from a friend who had a lot of talks with recruiters. They told him that they would get to fuck hookers nonstop. When he didn't seem interested in the option of collecting VD's, they didn't much talk after. Then during boot camp, they made them go through a training that says that buying the services of a hooker or foreign porn might be inadvertently supporting slave trade/ terrorist. There was a lengthy scenario describing how to avoid getting suckered into supporting an industry that relied on slaves.. Ironic? I think not. Go Navy!

How about those assholes up north?



Fuuuuuuuuck, they're sinister fuckers, aren't they.



Since they have an armed force, perhaps we need someone to equal their fighting style.. so the army clearly needs women, where's the chicks?



Back in 1981 must have been really boring to be in the armed forces





Webster defines strong as having great physical power,
as having moral or intellectual power,
as striking or superior of its kind.

But with all due respect to Webster,
there's strong,
and then there's Army strong.



If there was any more reason NOT to sign up for the armed forces, it would be because Kid Rock was endorsing them



All these ads remind me of Starship Troopers





Then again, that's what they're suppose to do as Starship trooper was a parody on the propaganda that the armed forces pulls

A lot of Army ads now target parents to get them to soften up at the prospect of their child wanting to join the military.



yea mr. farmer guy, who the fuck would be nervous if they had a son dumb enough to choose a career in killing people in war that is more or less universally recognized as being stupid bullshit?

Just remember Mom and Dad... you two can be in future television spotlights if you allow your son to join the armed forces..