Holy Shit, Trons Out!

Holy Shit, Trons Out!

Two years ago at Comic Con they announced that they were going to make a sequel to the 28 year old nerdy computer graphics filled Disney's Tron. A film that no one saw. I mean, no one. You ask around and you'll get confused looks from folks who never saw it and who probably never will see it.

To say that the effects and the movie itself is a bit dated is an understatement. It really wasn't heavy on the plot to begin with. The story was as follows. Jeff Bridges is a computer engineer who creates some of the most successful games which propels a company to the main spotlight. But the only problem is that someone stole the games from him and took the credit.



So he goes to find out proof of this, gets zapped into a computer server and has to fight the MCP, Master Control Program with the help of a program named Tron. Yes, that's right. Jeff Bridges is not Tron. He's Kevin Flynn. The fact is that the film was not named after the main character of the film. How do you like them apples?

Jeff Bridges, way before his days as playing The Dude, was still being a completely awesome character. In fact, it's what makes Jeff Bridges Jeff Bridges. He has a way of carrying out a character, even if it's some adult man-child who works above an arcade... You know.. speaking of which, how could I expect you to get into the spirit of an arcade film when I haven't linked this..



There we go. Now you're in the arcade mood! You know, if you haven't seen the original, don't worry. It's really very basic. There was recently a South Park episode that made fun of Facebook as well as Tron. Watching this gives you everything you probably need to enjoy Tron Legacy.

Besides that, Disney's not making it any easier by putting the original DVD out of print. Yup. It may sound crazy, but Disney made sure that you can't get Tron on Netflix or at the local stores as the 2002 collectors edition has been long out of print. Their defense to that was that they didn't really want people to look at the clearly dated CGI and make up their mind not to see this movie. Let's be honest, the original was really lacking in terms of plot. But what it lacked in plot and story, it made up for in revolutionary computer graphics that immersed the actor in the digital world for the first time.



What's amazing here is that Disney took their internal property of Tron, a film that barely broke the 20 million budget the first one had, was given a close to 200 million budget for a sequel. Something that even I'm doubting it's going to be a success in the box office. Which is really sad since I would love to see a sequel of Tron Legacy, as it has all the makings of a franchise with a lot of potential.

Tron, in 1982, was way ahead of its time. People didn't have home computers, let alone hand held computers that I'm sure will annoy the hell out of you while you watch this film and someone is updating their facebook status. So to have actors in this digital world was something amazing. Oh yeah, Tron also had a video game tie in. Something that is common practice now, but back then was only limited to pinball machines.



The original film really kicked off the CGI era. But when you break it down, the story of Tron is much like the Wizard of Oz. Someone finds themselves in a strange new world by accident and they can only get back home by going to point B on the map. Hell, the parallels to Wizard of Oz really go pretty deep on this franchise. Even Roger Ebert enjoyed it and saw the potential.

While I'm not a big fan of the latest wave of 3D films that is flooding our market, I do acknowledge that films shot in 3D are made for that format very well. This film used the same cameras that Avatar used. Especially useful when you have the villain be a 1982 Jeff Bridges. I mean, this character really looks like the dude back when he was just that great looking actor.



Then again, you can't talk about good looking actors and not mention Olivia Wilde. You may know her as 13 on House. Yes, Olivia Wilde is the female lead in this film and well, I don't think you could ask for better eye candy in a film that is all about eye candy.

I love these two Mondo posters that were made for the film. It's a two parter that combines the old and the new. Just look at how the old film is depicted...



And then you go to the modern new look in the next poster....



You put those two together and you have something that looks so fucking amazing. In this instance, let's just show you so you can put it on your desktop..



Now if that isn't considered a thing of beauty, then you'll have to define beauty as something completely different.

I guess now after going into the wish list of things, given that the 240 prints of those poster sold out in a whole 3 minutes, that I should bring my expectations on what I could get down some. You see, maybe I should shoot for something I could get by making it myself.

So for Christmas, can anyone recommend to me somewhere or someone who can make this design get transferred and look good on a t-shirt? Any good shirt shops? Cause this is a cross of a few of my favorite things.



And with that, I go to see this film and I'm very excited. It's been a couple of years since it was announced and a couple of decades to get a sequel from this. Let alone, I've been following the Flynn Lives online Alternate Reality Game for the last year and a half or so and have been so immersed in this film. So you can't really blame me for wearing my Tron hoodie jacket and hitting up the local arcade to get even more excited about this flick.

So yeah, go and see it.

A Magic Carpet Ride Making Disney Princesses Face Reality

A Magic Carpet Ride Making Disney Princesses Face Reality

If you're the average parent who dressed their child up as a Disney Princess for Halloween, you may still be having issues trying to get that costume off your little darling even now, a good week and some change after Thanksgiving. Yes, children can get caught up with the childhood dream of being a real life princess. I'm sure the many trips to Disneyland helped out in securing that loving dream of finding prince charming and making them live happily ever after and all that good jazz.

But there's a dirty side to it. And I'm sure this is just me being the same cynical self that I am, but if you really think about it, those Disney Princesses are really a bad example and a bad role model for your children to be emulating. So come with me into this world of Patriarchy


Snow White

We start with the classic. Her burgeoning sexuality is a threat to another woman and so she's killed. Her only asset, physical beauty, is what saves her in the end. Add in that she has seven slaves to do her work for her. Seven old looking men..



Princes Aurora,

Well then, with a name like that, it's at least one step towards humanizing. It's no Snow White, but Aurora is a strange name in itself. She was betrothed at birth to solidify a political position, she is killed by another woman out of spite. Her owner.. um.. fiance, saves her with a kiss. gain, sex is her only salvation.



Jasmine

This princess must get married to satisfy the requirements of the law. Her reluctance to do so causes her powerful father no end of trouble. She is enslaved by a powerful man and is only saved by the wit of a street rat. One that suggest that good teens take off their clothes and plays with his monkey all day.



Cinderella

She is saved from terrible living conditions by a Prince. He does this, not because she's such a hard worker or has a great personality. No, he didn't have time to get to know her much at all. He does this because she is beautiful and has a specific size shoe. Must be some freaky foot fetish going on up in this Disney Classic.



Belle

She saves a prince's life. With her only asset. Her sexuality. Mainly she has to see the inner beauty of a man.. Which I suppose isn't too hard as any According to Jim episode shows hot women go for ugly douches all the time.



Ariel

Hmmm, perhaps I should be careful here with a name like this one.. but what the hell, why not. This one drastically changes her physical appearance so she can be more attractive to her prince. The price is that she can't speak. No problem, she has nothing of value to say anyhow. She is saved by the prince in the end. This is a lot better than the book ending though, as the soulless mermaid gets a soul but dies a painful death.

Over all my favorite of the Princesses. Why? Cause of the red hair, of course. Duh! Clearly she's also a collector and my nerd tendencies would probably be deemed acceptable by her undersea hoarder style.



Mulan

Societal law demands that her role in serving the Empire is to bred men and be an object of sexuality. She challenges gender roles and masquerades as a man and fights in the Empire's army. Her facade is revealed and would normally be slaughtered for her deception, but is saved by her sexuality. Well, I guess not saved.. she's more or less spared by her direct superior because of her skills in battle. Then spared by the emperor for her skills in saving all of China.

I guess she is a positive role model, if it wasn't for the fact that she's alwasy "chasing the dragon" that sounds like Eddie Murphy. She doesn't need a man and even though is courted once she gets back, Be a Man is maybe not the best message to give young girls if you want them to think about gender equality.

The song was pretty cool though..



Pocahontas

When her country is invaded, she saves an English man from a hunting party. In return she is converted to Christianity, married, and sent off to England. She dies on her return voyage of smallpox, pneumonia, or tuberculosis. Her people are wiped out in droves and scattered to the winds. But hey, we just celebrated Thanksgiving. I hope you did something in honor of her. Like eat stuffing.

Then we have the newest in the line of Disney Princesses. The first Black Disney Princess. Now all the collection of hair colors and skin tones are there.. Well, except Mexicans, but who cares about them?



Tiana

In theaters this week, I haven't actually seen it, so I really don't know the crimes to Feminism that she present. I guess just getting turned into a frog due to a bestiality fetish. Maybe you should go to theaters this week to see it and then report back here to tell me how she's a terrible example for your small children. Christians need not apply.



By the way, what the fuck is wrong with Alice? She's not considered a Disney Princess? She's in the lyrics of this song about the Disney royalty. She was getting a proper education at the beginning before her ADHD kicked in and started chasing a rabbit. Or is that code for her hitting the drugs? What about Megara from Hercules? I guess she could be a Disney Goddess? And Jane from Disney's Tarzan? Clearly they're missing a lot of potentials in exploiting different little girl cartoon idols.

But for the most part, you might be a negligent parent if you are depending on the Disney princesses to raise your children to the idea that they'll have the story book ending. Then again, I guess this whole post is just me flapping my lips and being witty. I mean, Young children don't really pick up on the whole narratives and view these movies as a series of unconnected events. If anything, they pick their favorite Disney Princess according to which hair color they have and what name they are given. So don't throw those DVD and Blu ray disc into a Disney Vault just yet. You can still enjoy them with them and not worry about giving your children issues as they grow up.

Make Mine Mickey

Make Mine Mickey

All weekend long I've been working on a future article reminding your why you should hate Disney. But then like Tina Turner, love them anyway after they beat you, news broke today that in a very interesting and strange turn of events, Disney is buying Marvel Comics.

An investor conference call will take place at approximately 10:15 a.m. EDT / 7:15 a.m. PDT August 31, 2009. Details for the call are listed in the release.

Building on its strategy of delivering quality branded content to people around the world, The Walt Disney Company (DIS 26.47, -0.37, -1.38%) has agreed to acquire Marvel Entertainment, Inc. (MVL 48.90, +10.25, +26.52%) in a stock and cash transaction, the companies announced today.

So what does this mean? Let's take a look at the break down:

+Marvel animation projects will have access to better sweatshops.
-Slave Labor Graphics is screwed.
+Marvel projects, after contractual obligations, will "go home" to the Disney Interactive Studios banner.



I've seen a couple of releases from Marvel and Disney. Disney intends to take the same approach to Marvel as they have to Pixar: As far as Disney's concerned, Marvel knows how to manage their properties, and there is no reason to change that. As long as Marvel remains profitable, Disney will let them do their thing.

This means that everything Marvel does now will continue to happen. The only change we can expect to see from their movie plans will be Disney distribution of movies that are not Iron Man, i.e. Thor, Captain America and The Avengers. This also likely means we'll see more animated Marvel material, taking advantage of the vast resources and experience Disney has when it comes to animation.



Additionally, when Marvel and Pixar people were put in the same room, they "got very excited very quickly"

He called the Marvel integration an opportunity similar to the $7 billion acquisition of Pixar a few years ago, saying the combined assets will be more valuable than its separate parts. And Iger pointed to the global and cross-platform appeal of Marvel's characters as key opportunities in his second-biggest acquisition at the Mouse House that are even more important in "a world of increasing consumer choice."

Iger said though that longer-term Disney wants to be the exclusive distributor of Marvel films. While the company respects and will honor Marvel's third-party licensing deals with Paramount, Fox and Sony, "it clearly would be in our best interest if we ended up as the sole distributor," he said. "When you distribute your own films, the opportunity is even better."

The Paramount deal, for example, contemplates another five more pictures and will then be reviewed, said Disney CFO Tom Staggs.

Asked about potential Pixar-Marvel synergies, Iger said Disney executives have had some conversations internally, and Pixar creative guru John Lasseter has met with Marvel folks as well. "The group got pretty excited pretty fast," Iger said, adding he expects exciting collaboration opportunities. "Sparks will fly," he said.

Staggs said the Marvel deal will dilute Disney's earnings in the mid single digit range in fiscal year 2010. He projected it should add to earnings by fiscal 2012.

Miller Tabak analyst David Joyce called the deal a "good move" for Disney, even though it "should put some near-term risk arbitration pressure on it."

He pointed out that the Pixar acquisition a few years ago worked out well for Disney under Iger's leadership.

"Disney already knows how to monetize characters across multiple platforms, and now it has 5,000 (Marvel) characters to apply its success to," Joyce said. "It helps give Disney a new, rational area to expand its exposure to younger audiences, especially boys, in which Disney had lost some balance in recent years." Iger said more Marvel content will, for example, be seen on the boys-centric Disney XD channel

This is Disney finally reacting to Warner Brothers since WB owns DC. But unlike Warner, Disney may actually be able to help and market Marvel's product and films in a positive manner. It hasn't affected the stories all that much. Yeah, Wonder Woman was brought back to print because they were trying to get a movie going. But it really comes down to Comic books being just places to farm out characters for movies. After Dark Knight made more money than every comic book ever sold it's pretty obvious that if you want to really rake in the cash you need to hop on that comic book character gravy train.



But that's where the issue comes up. Marvel doesn't have the license for all their films. About 10 years ago they suffered from heavy losses and had to sell off a lot of their film and television license rights away. This is how Fox got X-men and Fantastic Four and Sony got Spider-man. Two film franchises that Marvel, now back organized properly would want back. This is where Disney comes in. Disney has the money, the legal team, and the deal-making abilities to make bringing those titles back to one fold a reality. They'll likely be able to finesse deals Marvel never could have on their own, whether it's a co-production/profit sharing model or just getting the properties back to Marvel outright.

For those of you worried that Disney will want to censor or water down some of the more graphic of titles. Like the great Hitchhiker's book says.. Don't Panic! Disney hasn't been anything resembling a squeaky-clean company for probably decades. Disney owns Miramax, Touchstone, Dreamworks and Hollywood Pictures, none of which are PG-rated family entertainment companies. Lets look at some other films that Disney has dealt with recently:

The Queen
No Country For Old Men
The Life Aquatic
The Prestige
Sin City

Three from Miramax, two from Touchstone. Look, Disney is perfectly capable of not getting involved. They do it all the time. There will be some things, this time, where they will get involved, since the Marvel brand is strong amongst kids. We probably will see some analogue of Buzz Lightyear of Star Command with Marvel characters. But just as that didn't lead to Disney actually forcing Pixar to make a movie of it, so there will be no real change to Marvel. Additionally, when Marvel and Pixar people were put in the same room, they "got very excited very quickly"



Seems like a match made in heaven to me, as there is only one company as good as Marvel at whoring out their characters to be licensed on toothbrushes, underwear, stickers, magnets, bedding, bicycles, toiletries, etc. Just think of the crossover possibilities of making my dream of a future Kingdom Hearts game where Wolverine teams up with Goofy and Donald to fight Hopper from A Bug's Life closer to reality.

I can show you the worrllldd... and then my cosmic master shall devour it.

Aladdin/Silver Surfer - Summer 2010

Now the bigger question.. What will this mean for the Universal Studios Island of Adventure rides that are using Marvel characters for it's theme parks? Having been there I can tell you it's fun as hell to ride the Hulk ride. The spider-man one was pretty cool in the Back to the Future sense. Even one had Doctor Doom! Well, they're safe... for now.

You may have seen reports this morning that Disney intends to acquire Marvel Entertainment. Naturally, Team Members and guests may wonder how this will impact Islands of Adventure. Marvel Super Hero Island and the Marvel characters are a beloved and important part of the Universal Orlando experience and will remain so. Our guests are still going to be able to meet Spider-Man and all our other Marvel characters. We believe our agreement with Marvel stands and that the Disney/Marvel deal will have no impact on our guest experience.

In the end, this is a smart investment for both companies. Movies like Iron Man and the intended Thor/Cap/Avengers cost a LOT to make and Marvel took huge risk starting their own entertainment company that hasn't been entirely as smooth as one would expect.


There should always be an excuse to post this picture

Take the example of the change from Terrence Howard to Don Cheadle as War Machine. There was some sort of budget fuckup on the first movie, Howard wound up being the highest paid actor in the film, despite playing a supporting role. When casting came up for Iron Man 2, Marvel decided to correct this, and offered him a salary that matched the role he would be playing, i.e. not more than the star of the damned movie. Howard, for some reason, thought it was a good idea to dig his heels in and demand the same salary. Marvel said "Yeah, no." and got Don Cheadle.

So this deal provides Marvel with the moeny that licensing and book sales can't bring them. The best kind of money... Disney Dollars! Marvel gets the funding they need, Disney gets a whole slew of proven franchises, fans get to enjoy the work that Marvel does on their own instead of dealing with Fox or Paramount. They still get to run Marvel comics like they have as it generates profits and don't worry about the ICON and MAX series. They will still be around. I just can't wait to get my Disney autograph book signed by Frank Castle near sleeping Beauties Castle.

It's A Small World After All (The Changes)

It's A Small Goth World After All (The Changes)

On a recent trip to Disneyland I had the privilege to go on It's A Small world ride. It's been about two years since I've been on this ride and I think that it took about a year and a half to get the song out of my head. Fuck you, you mind fuck of a virus filled catchy tune.

The ride was closed for some time to fix up the ride so that it could accomidate the heavier guest. You see, as a nation we're getting a bit heavier. I'm not going to lie, I've got a bit of a spare tire on my boyish good looks. I'm working on it, sheesh! In any event, Disney had to take measures to compensate for this not so small world after all and dig the trenches to fill it with more water and create boats that would keep buoyant.



So while they were tinkering with the boats they decided to just go the full mile and make changes to whole ride. I'm sure a lot of Disney purist will protest but they went ahead and tossed in a lot of Disney Characters in the mix making it a small world, after all. I'm going to go on record here and will gladly say that I'm not offended by the stupid sequels that Disney seems to produce of all their franchises. Yeah, they can be dumb and do we really need a sequel to some of these films? But hey, it's out there.

Small world is annoying enough and the song will never leave you. I don't think I have enough room in me to care about the characters changing or tossing in product tie ins. Kids are going to love it and want to go on it again and again anyway. It's not like Disney has a track record of keeping things as they originally were made. Need an example?

The Pastoral Symphony utilized delicate color styling to depict a mythical ancient Greek world of centaurs, pegasi, the gods of Mount Olympus, fauns, cupids, and other legendary creatures and characters of classical mythology. It tells the story of the mythological creatures gathering for a festival to honor Bacchus, the god of wine riding his horned donkey, Jacchus, which is interrupted by Zeus, who decides to have a little fun by throwing lightning bolts at the attendees.



This portion of the film was criticized for brief yet blatant nudity on the part of the female centaurs. Other criticisms center on the racial images of a female centaur servant named Sunflower, who is part African human, part donkey, and two attendants to Bacchus who are part African Amazons, part zebra. The servant has been excised from all prints in circulation since 1969, while the zebra female centaurs have always remained in the film.

The more things stay the same, the more things change. Yeah, I know I flipped that saying around. It's true though. There was a time when you couldn't get into Disneyland if you had long hair. It was a crazy time of Love, Peace and being far out, man. Walt wasn't going to have any hippies mess up the joint. It's bad enough that there's construction in California Adventure now in plain sight, just imagine how much breaking of the fourth wall would occur if Walt allowed beatnicks into the joint?



Over the weekend was proof that Disney has changed and become more accepting of other cultures. Or at the very least they're accepting of their money. It was Bats Day in the Theme park. What exactly that means is that a thousand or so Goths invaded the Disney parks in their finest black clothing.

Which on a typical SoCal sunny day means that there was a lot of sweaty people in the park. Careful how close you got to the person in front of you while waiting in line. But sure enough, there was folks in elaborate attire that I would never be able to pull off, let alone put on.



Blacker than the blackest black. Darker than the darkest dark. Their souls are as black as the background of Space Mountain. Their minds are as crazy as the track on Thunder Mountain. Their hunger is only quienced when.. they.. eat a tasty churro? The amount of remorse for all those not in black garbs is small.. as small as a small world.. um, I have no idea where I'm going with this. Let's just put it this way, The Haunted Mansion is one popular ride on this day. Good luck trying to get in that line. Let me tell you!

It was really odd seeing the reactions of those who had no idea that it was bats day. Must have been a massive mind trip to see a bunch of gothic kids walking around enjoying the park and getting those fast passes to silly rides. Try explaining to little Timmy why Mickey seemed to have friends from the wrong side of the tracks. Or the common mistake of asking one of the folks in black "What movie are you from?" or "Which Villian are you, can I get a picture?" All things you face while wearing the clothing.



I sort of resent this acceptance of Goths in Disney. For years after Nightmare Before Christmas was released, it was treated poorly by Disney. It was their red headed step child. Only when they started seeing the dollar signs in their eyes did they really embrace the movie. Then again, I may just be the grumpy old man in this situation.

Back to Goths day. I thought the whole thing was grand, if not a little disconnected. No one really batted an eye at each other. Cliques were there in their typical fashion. See, if I'm wearing a comic book t-shirt and I see someone else with one, it's like a little secret society. I give them a head nod and if a conversation is struck, then well, a conversation happens. Have it be about the latest events in whatever issue or something strange. I think it's a good way to see that you have something in common with a complete stranger. Is that so wrong?



I don't think these folks, as anti-social as you would imagine them to be, really needed to live up to that name. Oddly enough, in looking for stock photos of previous bats day pictures I came across this one of two people I actually know.

They're really nice folks. Since I have this soap box to stand on for the moment, I might as well plug their website once again. Gotham Public Works is the name of their group that I seem to at least run into them at con every year. Out of make up, they're just as nice.
Oddly enough I know these two. They're actually pretty cool people.



So yes. Goths day.. Now you may be wondering what I was wearing? Hmm, perhaps that'll best be left untouched. But it goes to show you, no matter how dark you try to front it, there's always that kid in you that is going to love going to Disney land again and again. That is, of course, under the assumption that you aren't some horrible person who just simply hates Disney.

What kind of monster would hate Disney? I'd say you'd have to be a Nazi to hate Disney, but isn't that the rumor about Walt? That and the frozen head thing. I'm sure you heard of that one, thus proving that it really is a small world after all.