April 26th 1992

April 26th 1992

First off, Sublime sucks. It was NOT April 26th like the song suggest but rather April 29th. But then again, we were young and didn't know any better. Yes, they said it was for the black man. They said it was for the Mexican and not for the white man. But if you look at the streets, it wasn't about Rodney King, it's this fucked-up situation and these fucked-up police.

Today is the day we remember that L.A. was on fire 18 years ago. If it was a person, it could buy itself some cigs so that it could do something with the flames that it was causing. I think we've advanced so much in under two decades. Rodney King would have been tased to death in today's climate of police brutality. I mean, really. If you're going to acquit cops of beating the shit out of a guy when that's clearly what they did, don't do it with an all-white jury. That's just silly talk.



It was a day that old white California gun owners old enough to have been there didn't mind it, since it meant they got to drive around with guns sticking out of their car windows without anyone having a care in the world. It was the most pertinent examples gun nuts could use to justify gun ownership. The police department had written off entire areas of the city and weren't responding to calls, so if you weren't armed, good fucking luck.

That Sublime song is fucking stupid and has not a goddamn thing on the Dr. Dre song about the riots. But hey, it's not "alternative" and is just considered crude because it's rap. W-h-a-t-e-v-e-r, yo. This track is the shiz-net!



The day the riot started was surreal. It was still contained to Florence and Normandie at that point, but everyone knew that since the police weren't moving in they were just going to let the city burn. The supermarkets were packed with people buying food and water. Two days later all the stores had been looted and most burned down.



And for all of you who believe that they were morons for burning their own shit and destroying their own neighborhoods. As if they should have thought for a minute and driven the 10 miles to Beverly Hills and wrecked that instead of destroying South Central, don't think that didn't cross their minds. How exactly do you get an angry mob to drive 5 miles north? Well, I would imagine something along these lines.

"Hey guys, we're angry and we wont to wreck shit, but let's destroy the property of some rich people that is literally 5 minutes away instead of engaging in mass cannibalism"

"Oh.. Okay!"

I just have to ask what the hell is wrong with you. They would have loved to burn whitey's house down but the police kept the blacks pinned in their own areas. The on and off ramps for the 110 free way were specifically closed to keep the worst of the rioting confined to South Central. I had friends who lived in Long Beach at the time, just near where the nice area and the bad area bordered and he tells me that the police setup shop just a few blocks east of him so that all the stuff on the east side was spared but all the stuff on his street and to the west and north got looted.



The L.A. riots had to be about one of the worst possible things that couldn't have happened. People like to pretend like it somehow "woke LA up" and all that but literally all it did was feed into already pretty strong stereotypes about all races and give everybody an excuse to keep hating each other for a few more decades. The generation of white people that was alive and aware during the riots are now permanently disabled in terms of their ability to support any serious positive social change.

The riots are also pretty much the most important consideration when you're looking at the social implications of the OJ Simpson trial as well. White people pretty much saw the moral of the LA Riots being "Black people want you dead" and then the OJ trail being "they're going to get away with it too!" People felt like it was literally Civil War 2 happening in front of them.



At the time I was twelve years old and probably playing with legos or something. And it's only fitting that just a few days ago Daryl Gates had a long funeral march through Los Angeles. Though it was a pretty crazy 6 days to live through and I can remember most of it. That was some crazy shit indeed.



So perhaps you could take a moment to remember when Los Angeles was burning and perhaps some lessons should be learned from all this racial tension, especially over in Arizona. I mean, it's not like you really want that on your hands and you sure as hell don't have enough room in tent city for all the Mexican looking people, right Sheriff Joe?

I'll take you out with some Ice Cube;

Riot In The Streets

Riot In The Streets

April 29, 1992, there was a riot in the streets - where were you? I can tell you where I was. I was in school in East Los Angeles. My 12 year old ass wasn't sure what the fuck was going on. I wasn't in the heart of it all. I can see smoke from my house though. That was a trip. I can't say I was all that old to really remember it all. Even then, I may not recall a lot of my childhood but the day that the riots broke out, I for sure damn remember.

What caused this? The easy answer would be that four police officers who were charged with a beating a black motorist where acquitted of their crime and people went ballistic over this whole thing. Civil unrest broke out and for days the streets of Los Angeles were a war zone.



In all actuality this tension was there for years in the LAPD with their abuse of power and clear signs of racism. It only took a spark to ignite such a race war. The economic situation and friction between minority groups all around South Central didn't help in getting all this going.

Rodney King was beaten and the city saw it fit to release the officers. Can I say that no blame lays on King for this? No. I can't. But I don't think for a second that anyone deserves to get beat by the fuckin' cops. So when they were let off on charges there was a full blown riot that blew out.

L.A. Riots Video

Utterly insanity unfolding

The madness that unfolded over the course of those five days can't even be taken in even 17 years later. Whole city blocks went up in flames. People were carjacked as if it was some precurser to Grand Theft Auto 3. People of various colors were taken out of their car and beaten. The most famous of these folks beaten was a single driver just passing through at the wrong place on the wrong time. Reginald Denny at the now famous intersection of Florence and Normandie.

Things got so bad that the National Guard had to show up and try to maintain control. Crewfews and other preventive measures were taken. When it was all said and done over 1,000 buildings were destroyed, 10,000 people were arrested, $1 billion in damages were caused and this simple NOT GUILTY cost 53 people their lives.

Wll, I guess I can be silly after all. Here. Enjoy NPH's take on what happened during the riots in the classic episode of Doogie Howser M.D.

Joking aside, here's to hoping that sight isn't seen any time ever again.

I'm not saying police are bad people. Anyone could grow a power trip after enough time. Hell, I know a lot of great cops. Doesn't change the fact that most police are poorly-paid ignorant wage slaves employed as thugs by the same system that keeps them lower-middle-class. Fuck the police for the opression they are ordered to help bring down, you have every right to NOT like them. But at the same time, don't hate them for being accidental pawns.

Rioting for Retards

Somebody must have won the big game and/or been shot to death by police while unarmed.

Rioting is a vital component of a healthy democracy. Without rioting Americans would never be able to gather in large inebriated masses and violently express our emotions. Riots are what happens to peaceful protests if you add enough anarchists and cops. They are also what happens to sporting events when you add enough beer.

I have never been in a riot, but I think I would like to try it out. I wouldn't want to be the guy who throws the Molotov cocktail or gets shot by the police water cannon. Maybe I could just kick a door a few times and scuff it up or throw a few grapes at a brick wall. I can work my way up to the real brutality like setting fire to a trashcan or spray-painting a picture of a horse on the side of a bus.

I think I would also be pretty good if they need a guy to hold a stick and raise it up and yell, "Nooooo!" I'm tall and I've got a bunch of sticks in my backyard. I can yell pretty loud.

The main thing holding me back from rioting is the idea of being tear-gassed. That and all the walking. I don't really want to spend all day walking around just to be forced to cry. It doesn't look like there are many good places to sit in a riot. I would also need to buy one of those camelbacks to stay hydrated and those are pretty pricey.

I also don't like rubber bullets. They sound fun, but I don't think they are because I read about a guy who died from one. You usually can't die from fun things that aren't drugs. Well, I guess you can die from jumping on the trampoline too high. That's probably pretty fun.

Not fun!

Rioting seems like it's the sort of thing everyone should do at least once. Even handicapped people should riot.

Maybe it's the bank failures talking, but I've been obsessed with the idea of handicapped people rioting since I read about the blind masseurs rioting in South Korea. Starting in 1963, masseurs in Korea had to be blind. I'm not sure why, but I suppose massage is one of the only jobs where being blind is an advantage. It's pretty much just blind massage and blind erotic massage.

Then the South Korean government decided to ruin a good thing by granting massage licenses to people who can see. This is making the blind masseurs furious since being a masseur is just about the only job they can have in Korea. In response to this they have started rioting, holding up signs, fighting with police, and jumping off of bridges in acts of defiance.

Imagine the determination that requires. Even on a purely organizational level, getting hundreds of blind masseurs together on a bridge is a major achievement. Add in the rioting and it's like one of those identical twins conventions getting crashed by dozens of sets of angry triplets.

I wouldn't even begin to know how to train a seeing-eye dog to riot.

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Operation rolling thunder prepares to tear down capitalism on the way to Arby's.

The obvious downside to the blind masseur riot is that it would be pretty easy for the police to stop it. They can put a ramp down in the middle of the road and drive a truck up to the ramp. When the blind masseurs march up the ramp they would be walking right into the back of the truck. When its full, the cops close the doors and drive them to the blind jail.

It's interesting to consider how various handicaps might effect rioting.

A deaf riot would either be completely silent or a cacophony of overlapping tuneless chants. The rioters probably wouldn't heed very many police warnings.

There was a riot in the Netherlands or Denmark or one of those little countries that helped the Nazis that was all people in wheelchairs. I think they were mad about ramps. I mean to say they were angry about there not being ramps, not to suggest they were wild for ramps and just expressing that.

Rioting in a wheelchair probably would be pretty easy, you would just have to accept some limitations. Dalek rules rioting. No flipping cars unless you have a really big lever. No gravel or pools. No staircases, which really sucked for them because they were pretty much protesting staircases.

A wheelchair riot could be scary for the police if the cops made the mistake of setting up their line at the bottom of a hill.

A good thing about a riot is that it creates a lot of shared memories for you and your friends. When you see that girl you like from the office you can ask her, "Hey, were you at that riot?"

"No," she might reply, "but I did hear about it on TV."

That's your chance to reel her in!

"I was there," you could say. "I stabbed a lady cop in the side with a screwdriver."

Imagine how much sweeter that conversation might be if the riot being discussed was a riot of nothing but flipper babies. Thalidomide has probably been responsible for some pretty awesome riots.

What are chemtrails actually good for if not to get rid of the harlequin people?

If I were planning a thalidomide riot I would make a deal with the people rioting against nuclear power plants. If they let us use their gasmasks and hazmat suits we'll lend them all our flipper people. Just dress them up in some rags and they can walk around screaming incoherently like atomic rejects from The Hills Have Eyes.

My favorite disabled riot of all would be a harlequin fetus riot. I think it's purely hypothetical, because those things barely every live beyond a few months, but there's an apocalyptic riot. The line of cops would be routed and flee before the sight of baby walkers filled with mewling monsters. Their unblinking bloody eyes would transfix those riot police with the courage to stay behind and in the final moments of their lives they would turn the water cannons upon themselves.

Now I just have to think of something harlequin fetuses might be violently against. Skin? Do they hate pupils?