Wake Up America, Where's The Birth Certificate?

Wake Up America, Where's The Birth Certificate?

This one has been burning on the back burner for a while, so I may as well finish it out before I completely forget it and only see it a month or two later. But with the birth of Big Baby Jesus coming up in the very religious Christmas festivities, it's brought to our attention yet again that Obama is being asked by the moronic public, as to where his Birth Certificate be at. Yes. These fine upstanding folks like the ones in Colorado bring about billboards that link Obama with jihadists

WHEAT RIDGE, Colo. — A billboard showing President Barack Obama wearing a turban has sparked a lot of attention at the suburban Denver used car dealership that put it up.

The sign, completed Friday by artist David Lee, shows a grinning, cartoonish Obama and bears the words "PRESIDENT or JIHAD?"

Underneath the president's image is a big yellow square with the phrase, "BIRTH CERTIFICATE, PROVE IT!"

The words "WAKE UP AMERICA! REMEMBER FT. HOOD" appear at the bottom of the billboard at Wolf Interstate Leasing and Sales, about seven miles west of Denver. The sign is visible from Interstate 70.

Lee said there were plenty of honks as he painted it.

"One lady came by and gave me the 'shame, shame' look," said Lee, of Arvada, another suburb of Denver.

Dealership owner Phil Wolf was unavailable for comment Friday, but General Manager Wayne Means said the business has seen strong opinions about its sign.

"We've had people come by and say, 'Keep it up.' We've had people come by and say, 'Take it down,'" Means said. "We can have differences of opinion. This is America."

The left-leaning advocacy group MoveOn.org called the billboard "racist" and was asking customers to boycott the dealership.

Lee said the billboard has previously held other slogans questioning the president's citizenship, along with routine ads for cars.

Yes, America. It's time to "Wake up". How can this sort of action keep going? If only we woke up. Don't you people realize that it's time to get serious about America and time to get serious about Jesus!



I know. Some idiots embarrass themselves. it should be easy to just forget them and move on. But come on, that message is pretty loaded. PRESIDENT....OR.....JIHAD!? It's a very serious question.. that makes no fucking sense. But still, Serious enough.

I can't say all of Colorado is a shit hole. You have Fat Tire being made there, so there's some non-crazy people on that land. And I hear Boulder has an anti-billboard ordinance so it is easy to tell when you have left and are in fucknut country when visiting Colorado.



I was wondering what was going to go in the yellow part of this sign, but I suppose I should have already know, right? At least we put NORAD next to Colorado Springs so that the USSR could annihilate all of the assholes in Colorado with only one device. True Story!

I'm sure the simple argument here is "Freedom of speech, yo. He's kind of dumb but has every right to espouse his stupid ideas to the world." I say.. um.. cool. Thanks for this totally non meaningless defense. I can say anything he wants. Or for that matter pay for the outside advertising for anything he wants, but by doings on a soap box he'll get some attention and it is perfectly fine to call him on it. But really "Wake Up America" sounds so fucking stupid. The Nazis were even doing it.



It just screams out as to what the hell is up with right wingers yelling "Wake up America". America must be a pretty sleepy nation. Would you have them whisper it? If someone ever unironically uses the phrase "Wake up America", you can pretty safely say they're fucking crazy or just have nothing else to use in defense of their outrage.

Then again. Maybe I should pay for a pro-stalin billboard in rural Alabama. I'm pretty sure that will quickly get burned to the ground. But still, it would be pretty interesting to see the reaction for all the two hours that it's up there. Oh, I'm giving the backwood people of Alabama credit enough to actually get it. Ha, the joke is on me. Maybe I'll just stick to a pro-evo Morales since evo owns and Stalin was a murderous thug.

Even if I did do that, it would still be a long way to evening the scores. The right wing has really gone nuts with billboards. Care for some more all up in your grill?


http://wonkette.com/412337/these-pe...violence-sheesh


What's that? Haven't had enough? Have another helping of it.

http://coloradoindependent.com/3856...a-drivers-today

And I love that we link to Socialism with Obama. Fucking hell. Come on. I wonder if anyone who paid for the next sign gets welfare or is on social security

~every day is a winding road to socialism wake up america~

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diane...g_b_140719.html

I guess this just shows that billboard space is going for cheap these days. Too bad that not everyone really understands the purpose of a billboard. Take the following billboards as an example;



Someone just doesn't understand the point of a billboard. Odds are this was one of the guys at a tea party protest who wrote a novel on the front and back of their sign not realizing that you have only a couple of seconds to read whatever message they misspelled on the way to the protest.

Just imagine driving by there and trying to read all that print? It would be a lost cause. Why would you write a full short story on your billboard like that? Not to mention the messages are pretty damning. Just make you sound crazy. As one blogger who writes some insane stuff and calls out people left and right, I know first hand that a lot of writing can make you look crazy. This person just doesn't realize that.



These two are the work of Harry "X" Sysack. He's a sort of infamous local "legend" in Cleveland. He's been painting these conspiratorial, batshit racist billboards, and hanging them in front of his sign shop for the past forty years.

In the end it really is just morons spending their money on shouting out loud. At the very least I can say that this blog is free and it just takes some of my downtime to write these soap box rants. But that's much different than pissing away money on a large outdoor ad to scream out your insanity. Maybe they should be linked to Blogger or Wordpress.

You Can't Cheat Death

You Can't Cheat Death

I saw this in the news a couple of days ago and it rings the title of this post true, You can't cheat death:

Woman who missed Flight 447 is killed in car crash

An Italian woman who arrived late for the Air France plane flight that crashed in the Atlantic last week has been killed in a car accident.

Johanna Ganthaler, a pensioner from Bolzano-Bozen province, had been on holiday in Brazil with her husband Kurt and missed Air France Flight 447 after turning up late at Rio de Janeiro airport on May 31.

All 228 people aboard lost their lives after the plane crashed into the Atlantic four hours into its flight to Paris.

The ANSA news agency reported that the couple had managed to pick up a flight from Rio the following day.

It said that Ms Ganthaler died when their car veered across a road in Kufstein, Austria, and swerved into an oncoming truck. Her husband was seriously injured.

Wow isn't it ironic
Don't you think
It's like ten thousand ones
When all you need is a five
Its like raaaaai-ay-iiiiiiiin
On your wedding day
It's a free riiiiiiiiiiide

Well, I guess it's more like that one movie. You know, the one where they miss a flight and then death comes stalking them one by one till they all die in a less cooler manner. I think that movie was called Homeward Bound.

No wait, it was Final Destination. There's a new sequel of it coming out soon and in it they highlighted a death that's caused by a rock flying out of a lawnmower. Seriously? You mean you could have died in a huge car pile up, a rollercoaster or a plane crashing and you escape death to die by a rock? Please give me the option to have a much cooler death.

Let's forget that again and move back to the cannuck. It's like that Alanis Morrisette song about unfortunate things happening. But then again, that's every Alanis Morrisette Song if you can hear it:


I don't know about you, but after hearing that I want to make it my final destination to never hear that again. I wonder how the other 500 people who died in car crashes today previously cheated death. It's almost as if death is inevitable.....................!!!!!!!!!!

I'm on the road today. Well, partially on the road. Let's see how far I make it. But the whole thing does make you wonder and question things. When it's your turn to go, it's your turn to go, right. We're all living on borrowed time.. or some poetic spill like that. Really, you die when you die. One wrong turn or slip in the shower and we can all be dead tomorrow. Though, to be honest, the news article about 1,00,000 slipping and dying in the shower on any given day is a pretty big news story, I must say.



As an aside, the final destination franchise taught us all that death will take any opportunity to make your demise an exercise in Rube Goldberg design. Given the level of detail, death has to be an aspie.

So while I'm on the road today on hundreds of miles I wonder to myself... Did I cheat death in any possible way during my time up here? Perhaps.. perhaps.. I know I've drank a lot. Don't even get me started on the amount of food I ate. There is a very possible chance that I cheated death and it may catch up to me on the 101 down to Los Angeles. If it does, please don't let them include it into Final Destination 5.

See you guys! Either on the other side or when I get back home.

Caution: Zombies - It Must Be A Sign

Caution: Zombies - It Must Be A Sign

In the last few weeks there has been an epidemic going on. A ZOMBIE epidemic! But before you board up your homes, gather weapons and raid any malls you should know where they're coming from.

First it was a spotting in Austin, Tx warning people that Zombies were ahead.

You can find the evidence all over the internet. Dustin Coates and Julie Montgomery were among dozens of people who captured road signs flashing, “Caution: zombies ahead, run for cold climates, the end is near!“ Signs on both sides of Lamar between MLK and 15th were altered some time Sunday.

"This is a first for us. We are new to this kind of thing,” said Sara Hartley, Public Works spokesperson.

Hartley says whoever did this cut the locks to the computer system and hacked in.

"While the content of what it was changed to was amusing to a lot of people we want to make sure that people understand it's a public safety hazard," said Hartley.

Zombies would invade Austin. Godless, bastard town full of Sodomites. This would be perfect if it was placed on a road close to Zilker Park during Austin City Limits. When you walk out of there you're already hung over, dirty as fuck and practically a zombie. And have you've ever been to South By South West? Paint the crowds green and you've already witness the Zombie mobs.


Fucking zombies, I got a ticket once because I didn't slow down to 45 before driving through a zombie area. NO ONE ELSE EVER SLOWS DOWN geeze!

I guess I would suggest that Austin is quite possibly the most prepared city in the country for a Zombie Apocalypse. Why you ask? They have all of the following:

*A well armed, yet liberal minded population.
*4 indoor shopping malls conveniently located around the city.
*Law enforcement trained in herding large gatherings of inebriated people.
*Easygoing populace makes forming "loose-knit band of survivors" simple. Just stand in the middle of an street and yell "Who want's to form a loose-knit band of survivors?" and 20 people will be there in seconds.
*Huge number of aspiring filmakers who have studied every zombie movie made in hopes of being the next Tobe Hooper or Robert Rodriguez.
*Alamo Drafthouse located there. Few entrances that are easily barricaded, large supply of movies to watch, industrial sized kitchen, plenty of alcohol for drinking/molitovs, etc.

Then the zombies showed up on the road signs in the grand ol' corrupt Illinois

COLLINSVILLE, Illinois - Pranksters in at least three states are messing with electronic road signs meant to warn motorists of possible traffic problems by putting drivers on notice about Nazi zombies and raptors. And highway safety officials aren't amused.

The latest breach came Tuesday during the morning rush hour near Collinsville, Ill., where hackers changed a sign along southbound Interstate 255 to read, "DAILY LANE CLOSURES DUE TO ZOMBIES."

A day earlier in Indiana's Hamilton County, the electronic message on a board in Carmel's construction zone warned drivers of "RAPTORS AHEAD — CAUTION."

And signs in Austin, Texas, recently flashed: "NAZI ZOMBIES! RUN!!!" and "ZOMBIES IN AREA! RUN."

Officials in Illinois are concerned the rewritten signs distract motorists from heeding legitimate hazards down the road. The hacked sign on Tuesday originally warned drivers of crews replacing guardrails.

"We understood it was a hoax, but at the same time those boards are there for a reason," said Joe Gasaway, an Illinois Department of Transportation supervisory field engineer. "We don't want (drivers) being distracted by a funny sign."

Authorities haven't figured out how pranksters access the signs. Gasaway believes the Illinois sign was changed remotely, and Austin Public Works spokeswoman Sara Hartley suspected the hackers there cut a padlock to get into the signs' computers.

Some Web sites, such as Jalopnik.com, have published tutorials titled "How to Hack an Electronic Road Sign" as a way to alert security holes to traffic-safety officials. Jalopnik urges its readership of 2.6 million a month not to put its lesson to practice.

"Hacking generally is about showing where there are holes in security systems, and I think this is a great example of that," the site's editor-in-chief, Ray Wert, told The Associated Press by telephone Wednesday. "I'm sure there are all sorts of ways to use that information in a way that's inappropriate, but we're trying to make clear this is an issue that needs to be confronted by traffic safety and transportation officials."

Wert said he had no immediate plans to take down Jalopnik's how-to guide.

In Illinois, tampering with an official traffic control device is a misdemeanor punishable by up to a $250 fine — half what a culprit might have to pay in Texas if caught. If convicted in Indiana, a culprit faces up to a year in jail and $5,000 in fines.

They had to deal with political craziness for a while now, I can only imagine that a Zombie situation will be a piece of cake to them. Let's be honest, there's already the zombie mentality for Chicago fans who follow the Cubs. What a bunch of losers!



So the big question is how are they doing this? It's really very simple and whenever I hear people call others "Hackers" for things like this, a little part of me dies inside. This isn't hacking. This is a simple prank. You don't need all that high tech information to do this. All you need to do is learn how to type on a glorified speak and spell. Hell, there was talk at the last defcon about billboard hacking.

This is the ADDCO portable sign. Today, you see what is on the inside, and how they are programmed to display important information.
*** WARNING YOU SHOULD NEVER TAMPER WITH THESE SIGNS ***

1. The access panel on the sign is generally protected by a small lock, but often are left unprotected. Upon opening the access panel you can see the display electronics.


2. The black control pad is attached by a curly cord, with a keyboard on the face.



3. Programming is as simple as scrolling down the menu selection to “Instant Text”. Type whatever you want to display, Hit Enter to submit. You can now either throw it up on the sign by selecting “Run w/out save” or you can add more pages to it by selecting “Add page”

** TIP ** Should it will ask you for a password. Try “DOTS”, the default password.

In all likelihood, the crew will not have changed it. However if they did, never fear. Hold “Control” and “Shift” and while holding, enter “DIPY”. This will reset the sign and reset the password to “DOTS” in the process. You’re in!



If you're not brave enough to break the law, you can always look at these regular signs being "hacked" by others and laugh.

Now you may be asking if this sort of pranks are ever a good idea. Those road signs are there to tell motorist important information like if a Left lane is closing ahead or that they should buckle up. I think it was worth the sacrifice simply because in one of the news stories about this CNN asked DO YOU HAD A ZOMBIE ESCAPE PLAN. I have to simply wonder, Do you?



Apparently only 56% of us have a plan. 22% don't have a plan, and 20% don't believe. By my math, there's 2% missing? Maybe those are just the first to get turned.

Also, you missed the section below the poll. "Your guide to the undead". For those of you who are looking for 'research' projects, the last one listed points to http://www.zombiepinups.com. No, I haven't gone there to see how good/bad it is.



And if you haven't been played out on all the zombie stuff so far, you can always read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy.

Oddly enough, I could see Colin Firth in a zombie film. As much as I hated the Keira Knightley version, she at least had the thin zombie look going.

So I think all this should meet your zombie quota. Hell, with a new Walking Dead issue coming out this week, I think you'll have more than your fill of Zombie to choose from.