No New Tax Cuts!

No New Tax Cuts!

That's right. They're not by any means new. It's all the old tax cuts. Remember all that talk about Change and Hope. The kind that you could believe in? Yeah.... about that, don't expect it anytime soon cause Obama extends Bush Tax Cuts.

WASHINGTON -- President Barack Obama's top adviser suggested to The Huffington Post late Wednesday that the administration is ready to accept an across-the-board, temporary continuation of steep Bush-era tax cuts, including those for the wealthiest taxpayers.

That appears to be the only way, said David Axelrod, that middle-class taxpayers can keep their tax cuts, given the legislative and political realities facing Obama in the aftermath of last week's electoral defeat.

Gee, I'm sure glad you folks decided to vote against the incumbents to get new blood in there. Cause they're sure on the right track to getting our shit together. Though I guess this isn't coming as much of a shock. I think I figured out the quote for the DNC to use on their banners.

"If we think we're going to lose, why bother fighting?"
-The DNC's Call to Arms

Boy Howdy, am I glad I voted for Obama. He's everything I thought he would be! Bring on that hope and change...



This is pretty sad for the sole reason that this was probably all I had hope for left with him. But I guess I should have known better and just given up on Hope long ago. If there was any justice in the world, or at the very least any clear cut backing on others words about trying to reach a compromise, it's just tossed out.

An actual compromise would have been to keep in place the middle class tax cuts while letting the wealthy tax cuts expire at the end of next year. But nope, that shit isn't happening and our nation will be in a state of stasis for the next two years. Then in four years we can cut them again. It's a pretty vicious cycle. Obama's idea of compromise is to just give into any of the republicans demands on whatever they want. Grow some balls, man.

The whole appeal of Obama was that he wouldn't be as bad as Clinton. But he's so much worse as of now. In spite of all the neo-liberal reforms Clinton enacted, he at least had some form of commitment to mildly progressive taxation whereas Obama obviously doesn't give a fuck about any of that.

And if you thought this allowing the tax cuts to expire was a long shot, just wait till we get to the estate tax. That shit is dead in the water. Just look at the potential for the federal estate tax...

Q: In reading about what will happen to the Bush tax cuts in 2011, the federal estate tax is never mentioned, in my experience. Why so, and what should we expect?
—N.M., Santa Cruz, Calif.

A: The strange saga of the federal estate tax, dubbed the "death tax" by its foes, has drawn growing attention lately. Nobody knows what will happen -- even though the midterm elections now are history. But there is a chance that Congress finally will take action in coming weeks when lawmakers return for a lame-duck session.

Naturally, you can't rule out the possibility that Congress will do nothing. Gridlock seems like Washington's natural state these days. But there is a compelling reason to expect some action: If Congress does nothing, the nation will face a bizarre set of circumstances.

This year, the federal estate tax is zero. If Congress takes no action, the tax will return on Jan. 1, 2011, with a basic exemption of $1 million and a top rate on the largest estates of 55%. Most lawmakers have indicated they don't want this to happen.

That would ensnare far more people than the estate tax did in 2009, when the basic exemption was $3.5 million with a top rate of 45%. (Transfers from one spouse to another typically were tax-free, however.) Furthermore, it would be odd to have a system with a zero estate tax this year followed by a very high estate tax next year.

"I can't believe Congress would let this happen," says Nadine Gordon Lee, president of Prosper Advisors, a wealth-management firm.

"The most likely option for a lame-duck session compromise seems to be restoration of the 2009 rules," says Tim Hanford, a consultant in Bethesda, Md., and a former tax staffer on the House Ways and Means Committee. "However, many members of Congress would like to provide even more estate-tax relief."

Much of the speculation focuses on setting the basic estate-tax exemption level somewhere between $3.5 million and $5 million and cutting the top rate to somewhere between 35% and 45%.

So basically the best tax, the one made excuslively for dead rich people, is going to be gutted or completely reworked within the next two years. No way will the rich in power allow for this shit. I mean, why would you let the US collect $14.8 billion from the elite for simply dying and passing on their mega bucks to the next elite family name? So you know that those effected aren't going to stand for a $15 billion dollar taxation on such a limited population

An easy route for this anger against it would be to simply call it a "Death Tax". It seems like putting Death in front of things works. Death Panels. But this tactic will surely gather the red state true patriots to gather around in their tea parties and proclaim that while the only two certainties in life are death and taxes, they shouldn't be combined.

Not like they'll have a tough competition for this. Who the hell is going to defend the estate taxes publicly? One, it's viewed as taking from your recently departed loved one. But it also creates a stupid mess of confusion between states who the relative may have lived in or kept money in.

Take Bank of America. What if they kept your assets in bank crossing state lines, will the state that it's in keep the taxes or will the place where the dead guy be it? What will be the tax rate for them? It's bad enough that the secret life goal of Americans is to discover that they had a rich estranged uncle money bags who just wanted to give them his vast fortunate they never knew about. So they won't dare even consider the possibility of taxing this mythical golden goose.

But then you have to factor that death taxes may not make a whole lot of sense. Everything the person earns is already taxed when they're alive. So you're going to tax it again when they die? Why should kids be punished for their parents success? Then again, any rich fucker worth their weight in expensive sea salt probably already set up some living trust to spirit the money away to the heirs.

As much as they want to support their troops, most of Americans don't want their inheritance to go towards funding a bunch of murderous tyrants. I guess the only good reason to oppose this would be to actually starve our hungry War State.



Just think, in a good 10 years time, each and every state is going to have no money and no infrastructure. The entirety of the next decade or two looks like it's going to be awful. I just wonder how Fox News will spin this whole story about Obama giving up on the fight against Bush era tax cuts.

It seems to be the mantra of every American to suggest that we should raise the taxes of everyone else but themselves. We can't get very far on that mindset. Especially not in California where it's far easier to pass something to spend money than it is to actually allow ourselves the ability to collect that money for the proposed item.

It leads one to think about how California has to already borrow a lot to meet its unemployment obligations and maybe things would get bad enough to bring people out of their holes and call a state constitutional convention. But that isn't going to happen either.

Even if it did happen, there's nothing that can happen in the US political circle anymore without being co-opted to benefit the rich in some way or another. We literally have sold our nation to the captains of enterprise. Capitalism has worked in making some rich off the back breaking work and sweat of those below them.

Looking at the Dailykos and Huffpost, you'd think that the democrats finally cracked. The Huffpost is tearing into Obama pretty badly over this and all the Obama supporters are so desperate that they're criticizing huffington post as being "anti-Obama". Really? REALLY?

There's a lot worse shit Obama has done, as you can see in this counter to that Democratic sponsored praise for what Obama has done.. highlighting what exactly he's done that isn't too nice. So yeah, this is far from the worst thing Obama has done but it may be the final straw to many.



I don't mean to sound crazy, but it would really not surprise me if both parties are so filled with so much separation that we get a 2012 election that has actual viable third and fourth party votes.... Okay, who the fuck am I kidding, that shit wont ever happen. But at least I'm throwing it out there.

Okay, that shit is for sure never happening. At best this just means that we'll have the lowest voter turnout ever.

What else can you expect when you follow up a "YES WE CAN!" chant with the act of squandering the democratic majority and doing almost nothing to fix anything slightly before the republicans take back the house. You're just saying that it didn't work out like you hyped everyone up for and you want to get placed back into office? Yeah.. probably not the best idea.

You might as well make the tax rate over 250k just 0%. No one cares about a ship that sinks slowly, but everyone remembers a ship that hits an ice berg and cracks in half as it sinks. Even if a slowly sinking ship allows for the running around of passengers while giving the rich people enough time to get into the life rafts with all their belongings.

When it comes down to it, it's hard to get behind a tax cut and I really don't want to give my money to a government that steadily cuts every form of social spending and welfare while increasing taxes to those who can not afford them to begin with.

William Henry Harrison - Great President or Greatest President?

William Henry Harrison - Great President or Greatest President?

Gather around, children, so you can listen to the amazing tail of William Henry Harrison. He was your 9th President of the United States and you see, he was the greatest president. His first move as president was delivering a 2 hour inaugural address in the cold rain without any hat or coat, led to his death by pneumonia 1 month later.

This should be widely regarded as ingenious, preserving his legacy by removing any chance of fucking things up. This portrait of William Henry Harrison looks like it could be Dewey from Malcom in the middle all grown up.



You see, by enacting nothing of any consequence, he objectively fucked up less than all other US Presidents combined. In this day and age, say for example 2012, we need a visionary to carry on William Henry Harrions' vision of not fucking anything up. These days, it's increasingly clear that any attempt to make anything better just fucks things up worse.

Bailouts? Should've let them fail. Healthcare reform? Watered down to a glorified insurance company handout package. Financial reform? Still contains retarded loopholes. Who can we trust to not to fuck anything up?



And for those who say he was a war criminal... Well, there's not much of you anyway because who the fuck keeps up with American history anyway? I mean, most of you think that Ben Franklin was one of our Presidents for fucks sake. But anyhow, he was only a war criminal whilst not President, so my statement still stands as accurate.

Only a few others come close. Linden Johnson was close as the great American President just wanted to kill poverty while simultaneously shooting the kids at school. But William was the first person to ever kill a sitting U.S. president, so he has that going for himself.

A Series of Tubes - Being A Complete Ass About Ted Stevens

A Series of Tubes - Being A Complete Ass About Ted Stevens

Early on in the day yesterday I was able to use this series of tubes to find the following news story

A U.S. government official says former Sen. Ted Stevens is believed to have been aboard the airplane that has crashed in Alaska.

The official tells The Associated Press Alaska authorities have been told the former longtime Republican senator is among several passengers on the plane. The official, who spoke on grounds of anonymity, says Stevens' condition is unknown.

So, Ted Stevens, did you survive the plane crash?



Looks like he was on a... plane to nowhere.

Ted Steven's life, tragically cut short, at the vibrant age of 86. It's always sad for a parent to outlive his or her child, and when asked for comment Mr. and Mrs. Stevens responded, "Mmmmmmmmehehhaheahehahaehehahh eeeeeeehhhhhgggg hheeeeeefhdfhdfjfhggg".

The thing that saddens me the most about former Alaska Senator Ted Stevens dying in a plane crash is that Momma Grizzly, Sarah Palin wasn't on that plane with him. But at least my other prayers have been answered. Maybe God does exist after all.



One thing about Ted Stevens though, he died the way he lived. On a plane to a fishing trip sponsored by lobbyist. Essentially that's what happened. Capitalist scum was killed by his own excessive consumption. Praise marx!

Doesn't he know that the remote area 325 miles southwest of Anchorage is not a place you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of pipelines tubes! I mean, this dude did a lot of unethical bullshit. Like, remember that time he got off because the prosecutors screwed up? I do wonder how much money one can fit into a suitcase.



But you see, it wasn't all good luck. Former NASA administrator Sean o'Keefe was also on that flight and survive. Why am I mad that he made it? Let me remind you that the shuttle Columbia was lost on his watch due to exactly the same kind of institutional complacency that led to the loss of the shuttle challenger and which NASA vowed would never happen again.

Besides that, he's the current CEO of EADS, and if he wasn't profiting off war he couldn't have afford to get on that plane in the first place. So god damn you, plane crash. I wanted to say my good byes to that Space Cowboy.



Moving back to Stevens. This isn't his first brush in with death. In 1978 Ted Stevens survived a plane crash where 4 of 6 passengers died. I'm willing to bet that he's one of those guys who would eat the other passengers to survive.

Then there's his wife who died in a plane crash years ago and now he finally dies in one. Maybe his wife was haunting the plane he was in. This was so totally one of those Final Destination films. Only Death really fucked up in waiting 32 years to finally play catch up. Either that or planes really fucking hate this guy.

When you factor in that his wife died in a plane crash, his stance in being Protective of Alaska aviation was pretty ghoulish.

A former senior federal aviation-safety official says that former GOP senator Ted Stevens, who is reported to be among the missing in the crash of a small plane on Monday night in a remote area of Alaska, was “very protective” of an “aviation culture” in Alaska, which sometimes involved risky flying practices that might not be tolerated elsewhere in the United States. CBS is reporting that Stevens died in the crash.

hey we can't have big government bureaucrats telling us how we can fly our planes and... oh shit, what was that? what was that sound? ohhhh god oh god... the plane is going down oh god the wing is on fire we're going to slam into that cliff OH GOD AHHHHHH



You know, my greatest wish is to die in an appropriately comedic fashion. What more noble pursuit is there than to provide your fellow man with a brief moment of mirth, even in your demise. I mean, I get that all life is Precious(: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire) but I have no problem getting a good laugh out of this.

Some of us spend every day in constant bliss because we know people are dying every second and it's amazing. Most of them are dying boring deaths, but there's that rare exception when it's just filled with total irony.

Remember that one asshole doctor on ER who got his arm chopped off by a helicopter and then later a helicopter raped his wife and the final piece of irony was that a helicopter fell and smooshed him good. Good times. George Clooney was dreamy in that.

But in any event, with Ted Stevens, hopefully someone filmed the crash and it's longer than 10 minutes so they have to upload it as a series of Youtubes. God forbid an 86 year old man die in a plane crash instead of going out the way God intended, painfully wasting away from terminal cancer and spending the last years of his life hooked up to a series of tubes see what I did there?

Fuck it, I'm ending it with a Remix!

Six Years Ago Today Ronald Reagan Died

Six Years Ago Today Ronald Reagan Died

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!


FUCK REAGAN! FUCK THAT DOUCHE! I grew up thinking Ronald Reagan literally held the universal together. He was the first president that I could remember growing up. My god, what a moron I was growing up. When I realized what his stance on the issues was and how he used the time in office I realized how much of a monster he actually was.

The only joy I take in this dark world is knowing that his death was slow and painful and that he spent a decade being reduced to a gibbering mess. A broken shell of a human being trapped in his worthless decaying body. Just imagine Nancy having to witness his decline into mindlessness. But fuck her too. Her war on drugs was the largest advance in institutional racism since Jim Crow.



I will always hate you Ronald Reagan, I'm glad you died. Though ever since his funeral, when people had to pretend to like him, he's been increasingly sanctified and people are ascribing all kinds of nutty heroic shit to him. It's true that Americans think highly of Reagan..

A Gallup poll about presidential greatness, taken February 9–11, 2007, asked 1006 adults in the US, "Who do you regard as the greatest United States president?"[13]

1. Abraham Lincoln (18%)
2. Ronald Reagan (16%)
3. John F. Kennedy (14%)
4. Bill Clinton (13%)
5. Franklin Roosevelt (9%)
6. Other/None/No opinion (8%)
7. George Washington (7%)
8. Harry Truman (3%)
9. George W. Bush (2%)
10. Theodore Roosevelt (2%)
11. Dwight Eisenhower (2%)
12. Thomas Jefferson (2%)
13. Jimmy Carter (2%)
14. Gerald Ford (1%)
15. George H.W. Bush (1%)
16. Richard Nixon (0%)

A Washington College poll about presidential greatness, taken February 11, 2005, asked 800 adults in the US, "Thinking about all the presidents of the United States throughout history to the present, who would you say was America's greatest president?"[14]

1. Abraham Lincoln (20%)
2. Ronald Reagan (15%)
3. Franklin D. Roosevelt (12%)
4. John F. Kennedy (11%)
5. Bill Clinton (10%)
6. Other/Don't Know (9%)
7. George W. Bush (8%)
8. George Washington (6%)
9. Theodore Roosevelt (3%)
10. Dwight Eisenhower (3%)
11. Jimmy Carter (2%)
12. Thomas Jefferson (2%)
13. Richard Nixon (1%)
14. John Adams (<1%)>

If only he was still alive today. People wouldn't be praying for his return. After looking at that poll, I really don't know what the fuck. Yes, the average American is completely ignorant of their own country's history. I mean, I could find out a thing or two about this Reagan guy but on the other hand, if he wasn't great there wouldn't be a bunch of things named after him. So I could probably skip any personal research into the matter and just roll with everyone else in thinking that he was just that awesome of a president.



There's many reasons to hate the Gipper. In a blog recently that I put up about traveling through time, I suggested I would have saved the Gipper from the ol' gun shot that a Jodie Foster stalker inflicted. Truth is, it doesn't matter. Ronald forgot all about that gun shot long before he died anyway. A confused look on his face every morning after a shower and seeing the scar. You want to know other reasons why to hate Reagan?

-He may in fact have been Satan.

-He hated Carl Sagan

-He inadvertently created Gangsta rap.

-He LITERALLY trained Osama Bin Laden how to be a terrorist.

- No one fucked over the African American community post-civil rights as brazenly as Reagan did.

-He criticized Metrorail when it was finished in 1985, saying "It would have been cheaper to buy everyone a limousine."

If you're homeless or ever annoyed with hobos begging for chain, blame Reagan. He slashed the government mental hospital funding and basically created the homeless insane as we know them. With that budget slashing the mental hospitals just let loose the crazy onto the streets.



I get that sometimes parents do that thing sometimes where they call each other "Mother" and "Father" because the kids do, but Nancy called him "Ronnie" and he called her "Mommy".. In hindsight with the fact that he was senile that really makes you think. Then really make you feel icky.

If you ever look back at old interviews of him during his presidency you'll notice that he would wax nostalgic about his life as a young man and tell the press corps about it, but it turned out he was confusing things that happened in movie for things that happened to him but he couldn't tell because he was literally senile and also, at the same time, the MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD!

Just look at some of these interviews he gave to different news reporters;

12/09/82
"Sometimes I look out there at Pennsylvania Avenue and see people bustling along, and it suddenly dawns on me that probably never again can I just say "Hey, I'm going down to the drugstore to look at the magazines,'" - President Reagan discussing his feelings of confinement with a People reporter (see 12/16/82)

12/16/82
"Sometimes I look out the window at Pennsylvania Avenue and wonder what it would be like to be able to just walk down the street to the corner drugstore and look at the magazines. I can't do that anymore." - President Reagan conveying one of his regrets to The Washington Post (see 12/18/82) ... See More

12/18/82
"Sometimes I look out the window at Pennsylvania Avenue and wonder what it would be like to be able to just walk down the street to the corner drugstore and look at the magazines. I can't do that anymore." - President Reagan sharing a sudden thought with a radio interviewer

1/27/84
"You find yourself remembering what it was like when on the spur of the moment you could just yell to your wife that you were going down to the drugstore and get a magazine. You can't do that anymore." - President Reagan telling Time magazine about being President.

The dude just really wanted to buy a magazine, alright. Hasn't he ever heard about magazine subscriptions?



Maybe the biggest thing was the fact that he didn't give a shit about the health of the people. He just let AIDS grow into a disease that millions of people had via neglect and indifference. He has to be blamed to some degree and held responsible for everyone who dies from HIV forever as a result.

He somehow convinced the poor people that taxes helped not them but some other less hard working, browner poor and therefor was given the go ahead to stop those tax cuts. Then he spent more money on uniforms for military marching bands than the national endowment for the arts.

He was a racist who was against the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act, and making MLK Day a national holiday. He supported apartheid in South Africa and kicked off his 1980 Presidential campaign in a town known for only one thing: The lynching of 3 civil rights workers in the 60's(Philadelphia, Miss.)

The speech was about "State's Rights"



Oh, and I'll tackle the biggest praise that Reagan gets.. the taking down of the USSR and the end of the cold war. Such utter bullshit. Reagan taking down the USSR is the equivalent of me going to a building schedule for demolition and yelling at it to give up. USSR was done. Communism didn't work. Sadly, we're just realizing in this last big recession that neither does Capitalism.

Then on top of all that the fucker cut every government program he could and somehow doubled the national debt. Yes, my friends.. this was REAGANOMICS! It was probably around this time that he closed all the mental institutions, but I'm sure I already said that because it needs to be said again. You know, this is why those mentally affected person are homeless and on the streets, and mistreated by the youth and most of all, themselves.



How about some more choice quotes from the man;

"Sometimes when I'm faced with an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner that one could ever serve, and when we have finished eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there's a cook." - Ronald Reagan

Well then.. FUCK YOU, REAGAN! Oh wait, I already said that.

"I've noticed everyone who is for abortion has already been born." — Ronald Reagan

Ha, this one is ironic considering that Reagan is pretty much the poster boy for the "FUCK YOU, GOT MINE" conservative fucks. The scary thing is that all of these things I'm writing are actually the exact reasons conservatives adore Reagan.



Why has there not been anyone to write a good book that debunks Reagan as the greatest president narrative that we constantly get in the media today?

You also have to remember that Nixon thought he was an idiot who should never be allowed in the same room as Gorbachev. When he was allowed in the same room as Gorbachev he proceeded to tell Soviet jokes to him instead of talking diplomacy.

So today, on this day that Ronald Reagan died, we celebrate like if the wicked witch of the west just got smashed.

God Is Dead

God Is Dead

Cried out Nietzsche. And I mean, really. The dude fucking cried it out. So make no mistake about it, even if yesterday was Jesus' second birthday (didn't that fucker just have a birthday a few months ago? Does he need more presents yet again?!?) your god is indeed dead. He's been dead for some time now. At least dead to us.

Let's consider, for a moment that on Friday it was considered "GOOD FRIDAY" and that's because the Son of God died.... for our sins. Let that wrap around your head, especially when the whole concept of religion is to not be all about #1 and have concern for others.

"Nietzsche is dead." - God

How much concern is going on when you're happy someone just died on a cross for you 2010 years ago. Then again, as a strong atheist who doesn't believe Jesus ever walked on water, let alone on this great green (and slightly less environmentally damaged) earth, I really don't have a thing bad to say about Nietzsche. The guy was awesome and at least he had the balls to say it.



But let's take on the ramifications on what it means if God is dead. Does that mean Mary was a necrophiliac? Not to mention that if God is dead, it implies that at one point he was alive and actually existed. Hmm, not boding well for my Atheism.

Then there's always the voices in music.

Your God is dead.. and no one cares
- Trent P. Reznor

Nine Inch Nails got me through a lot of dark times in my life and they introduced me to rap via Dr. Dre producing Even Deeper. NIN seemed to be a gateway drug to all other good music as it was the mainstream industrial and electronic sounds. But let's face it. Trent is getting old.

Trent at 50 performing Ruiner live would be the best thing in music ever. Who wouldn't want to hear a middle-senior aged guy yell those lyrics? They're noble class literature!

Lies? Check
Reference to people as cattle? Check
Violent sexual imagery? Check
Disease? Check
Scars? Check
References to physical/emotional pain? Check and double check!

"Nietzsche is God."
- Dead

Let's be frank, the doors for dark sounding music doesn't always have to be AGAINST religion. I mean, look at Evanescence.. "I WANT TO DIIIIIEEEEEEE". That's a real quote from one of their songs. This band used to be christian rock.



This isn't something new for the world to say though. Have you've played any RPG's on the Playstation? It seems that every Japanese RPG game has the same message.

"We must kill god"
- All JRPG's

The best part of it is that they always seem to succeed. As if the creation must destroy the creator in order to declare that it is truly free and actually works.



Nietzsche is a wonderful writer. Go take, like half an hour to read Truth and Lies in the Extra Moral Sense. Though he is popular for that one phrase, there's much more Nietzsche quotes that you shouldn't live without. So as I leave you on this fine post-Easter blog, enjoy these awesome quotes.

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.

Behind all their personal vanity, women themselves always have an impersonal contempt for woman.

Egoism is the very essence of a noble soul.

Fear is the mother of morality.

For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.

He that humbleth himself wishes to be exalted.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.

If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn.

In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

In the last analysis, even the best man is evil: in the last analysis, even the best woman is bad.

It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad night.

It is the most sensual men who need to flee women and torment their bodies.

No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant.

Not necessity, not desire - no, the love of power is the demon of men. Let them have everything - health, food, a place to live, entertainment - they are and remain unhappy and low-spirited: for the demon waits and waits and will be satisfied.

People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights.

Plato was a bore.

Regarding life, the wisest men of all ages have judged alike: it is worthless.

Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings.

The best author will be the one who is ashamed to become a writer.

The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

The lie is a condition of life.

The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.

The press, the machine, the railway, the telegraph are premises whose thousand-year conclusion no one has yet dared to draw.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.

There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.

We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving.

We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us.

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.

Whoever has provoked men to rage against him has always gained a party in his favor, too.

You say it is the good cause that hallows even war? I say unto you: it is the good war that hallows any cause.

You can't read those and NOT say Nietzsche owned. Oh yeah.. and God is dead.

The 80's Sucked.. So Badly That Death Wants Some

The 80's Sucked.. So Badly That Death Wants Some

I've been saying it for a long time now, the 80's sucked. No one would believe me. Why would you believe me? You all have rose tinted glasses to the decade for your cartoons and whatever other stupid shit you actually liked in your childhood, but like that stupid movie Final Destination, it looks like the 80's are finally getting some well deserved vengeance!

Actor Corey Haim died this morning of an apparent overdose, according to LAPD. He was 38.

Police tell us they were called to St. Joseph's hospital in Burbank, CA shortly before 4AM PT to investigate.

Haim shot to fame in the 80s -- when he co-starred in a number of films, including "The Lost Boys," with Corey Feldman.

Just last week it was Boner from Growing Pains and this week it's Corey Haim? It's pretty clear that during the 80's Death took a holiday and now he's realizing that he missed a lot of 80's has beens that should have died of overdoses two decades ago.



On the plus side, both Corey's did successfully stay alive until the year 2010, which is significantly longer than I had ever predicted they would last. I will say that I will watch Lost Boys this weekend in remembrance, but I probably wont. Not to mention my girlfriend hates that film. So yeah, that's not going to happen.

Hmm, maybe you don't know who this is. Let's break it down for you. If you were born in the '80s, you'll remember him for being the Too Cool for School douche who eventually disappeared. If you were born in the '90s, you'll just remember him as the guy who sold his teeth on eBay, creating the 'no body parts' rule on the same website.

That's got to be one hell of a downfall. At least it's over for him. Do you remember that Corey hotline?

Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: Gory. Story. Allegory. Montessori.

And what about that other pre-recorded message

Hi, this is Corey. Hope you and I can get married someday.

(Nope, guess not)



"Sleep all day, party all night, never grow old, never die." At least he got three out of four.

I have to admit, as much as I try to make fun of the recent dead, it seems that I can't top this already hilarious Reuters article.

Corey Haim dies of overdose
WASHINGTON
Wed Mar 10, 2010 9:28am EST
(Reuters) - Corey Haim, a Hollywood teen star of the 1980s who became as famous for his struggles with substance abuse as his acting, died in Los Angeles of an apparent drug overdose, U.S. media reports said Wednesday. He was 38.

In the 1980s, the Canadian-born Haim starred in "Lucas," alongside Charlie Sheen and Winona Ryder, and "The Lost Boys," with Kiefer Sutherland, Jason Patric and Corey Feldman, as well as "License to Drive," also with Feldman.

He became known for his on-screen partnership and off-screen friendship with Feldman, another teen star, and they often were called "The Two Coreys." Both struggled with drug abuse. The pair starred in a reality TV series on American cable television in the 2000s.

According to media reports from Los Angeles, Haim was found unresponsive in his apartment and was pronounced dead at a local hospital. Los Angeles police said the death was the result of an apparent drug overdose, the reports said.

(Reporting by Will Dunham; Editing by Eric Beech)

Not even one sentence before insulting him. Just think, now Lucas is taking bugs out of the angels hair in heaven.. RIP... RIP.



So which 80's has been will it be next? Wil Wheaton? Scott Baio? That short guy from different strokes is a good bet. He already was hospitalized earlier this year. Apparently his liver/kidneys are shot. Damn. Should have put him on my dead pool list. MC Hammer, watch out!

Maybe it will be Corey Feldman? How could one exist without te other? One half of "The Corey's" has been suddenly lifted from the material plane. There is now a sudden shift in the balance of 'Radicality' of the Earth. We are approaching a dangerous and fragile time in our history.



I would guess Kirk Cameron but I don't think you can overdose on Jesus. My money's on the slighly-more-fucked-up Olsen twin.

Basic cable lost a valuable human train wreck today. Even more sad, The History Channel is going to have to cancel, midproduction, it's newest reality series Corey Haim Vs..., wherein fight science experts debate whether Corey Haim or a colorful parade of animals, military ordinance and historical figures would win if they met & fought in the wild, then simulate what the battle might look like. Corey Haim was to play himself in enactments, with occasional state-of-the-art CGI Haim filling in, if he suddenly became too high to stand up or read words from a teleprompter.

The only finished episode, Corey Haim vs. A Bald Eagle, will air tonight at 8/7c on The History Channel.



And if you want to bring in some Tiger Beats to a memorial, make sure to come check out Prayer of the Rollerboys, where in a dystopian future the only way to a better life is on a pair of rollerblades. It's playing at this theater in Hollywood on March 20th.

I guess this means we'll never get a Prayer of the Rollerboys 2. :(

2009 Dead Pool Results

2009 Dead Pool Results

At the end of 2008 I made a dead pool list of people who I thought would be.. um.. dead by the end of the year. It's a simple game, really. You pick ten people who you believe will not make it to next year and then you wait. If those people die then you simply subtract their age at death by 100 and that's how many points you get for them. It's really a morbid game when you think about it. But then again, the way that the media treats our Celebrity deaths, it's really the only way I know how to deal with it.

When you look past the sick rules and way you play this game, you can see that there's an incentive for not picking the very elderly. Th younger the person, the more points you're going to get for their shocking demise. When as picking people who are old and already have one foot in the grave will be will be good for a couple of points, but you're not going to get much for them. It's really a game of numbers.

Here's my list from last year;

Hugh Hefner
Roger Ebert,
BB King,
George Steinbrenner,
Amy Winehouse,
Mindy Mcredy,
Patrick Sawyze,
Ted Kennedy,
Larry king,
Barack Obama.

I went with the easy ones, as you can see by my point total;

Patrick Sawyze was 57 worth 43 points
Ted Kennedy was 77 and worth 23 points
My grand total for the year was 66 points.

To be perfectly honest, that's a lot better than how I did the year before. I suppose at this time we should take a look at those who have past. Most recently we have Brittany Murphy... who I have to admit I had a huge crush on her. Even more than so in Clueless than Alica Silverstone. I mean, she was the "nerd" of that group and let me tell you, nerds are hot. Then again, this all sounds like it's an illegal activity.. which necrophilia is in the state of California.



But seriously - Andy Dick, Amy Winehouse, and Abe Vigoda are still alive and yet Murphy is dead? Now that is a tragedy. I don't give a fuck about Michael Jackson. Let's talk about Murphy some more. Ever see the movie Ramen Girl? No? You should.

It really is an ironic masterpiece of film. The film premise is A white girl with no discernable skills or training whatsoever becomes a master of ramen maker. Ramen girl owns, it's like the next karate kid except about ramen and even more fucking orientalist.



Ok, not really. But still, you need to respect someone who took their career choice and moved it into that direction. That's a whole lot better than Michael Jackson. Fuck that douche. I'm not even going to give it much attention here because it's already received 4 million in media promotion. Most of all, I'm bitter that I had to work on that mess.

Most of all I'm still bitter that he wasn't on my dead pool list. That's almost 50 points I could have received for my dead pool list. That pissed me off to no end. Fuck you Michael Jackson. This just means I'm going to have to kick it up this year to another level and pick names that will actually have more kick to their step.So.. do you want in?



So here's your chance to get in on the TWENTY-TEN Celeb dead pool. Just post a comment or e-mail me your dead pool picks.. only limiting them to ten names per person or we get into some crazy math and keeping up those names is too much work. This should come in no later than January 5th or if a celebrity who is high profile enough dies before then, it doesn't count.

The people you choose have to be famous for more than just their death. So if someone is going to die soon and is in the news, they may not be allowed on the list if they don't have any claim to fame for any other reason. The winner will get $50 bucks and a special prize.

So go ahead and comment or put in your list of ten people and you're in. Besides, it'll be an easy way to do something truly evil and predict people's deaths. Boooyah.

The Day That Oral Dies

The Day That Oral Dies

Today Oral Roberts died. He was 91. The first thought that comes to mind is that Oral is one fucked up name to give to your kid. So who was this jerk off?

Oral Roberts, the charismatic Pentecostal evangelist whose televised ministry attracted millions of followers worldwide and made him one of the most recognizable and controversial religious leaders of the 20th century, died Tuesday in Newport Beach, Calif. He was 91.

The cause was complications of pneumonia, said Melany Ethridge, a spokeswoman for Mr. Roberts.

At the height of his influence, Mr. Roberts sat at the head of a religious, educational and communications enterprise based in Tulsa, Okla., that managed a university, conducted healing “crusades” on five continents, preached the gospel on prime-time national television and published dozens of books and magazines.

So here's the highlight reel for this asshole on what he did:

*In 1977 Roberts claimed to have had a vision from a 900-foot-tall Jesus who told him to build City of Faith Medical and Research Center and the hospital would be a success.
*Pioneered televangelism and faith healing
*Claimed God would kill him if people did not donate $8 million. (He was successful).
*Claimed to raise people from the dead.

I guess it takes more than $8 million to stay alive. It's moments like this that I hope that hell wasn't just some fairy tale where I'll have a chance to meet Hendrix and was actually real so this asshole would go there and be tortured good and plenty.



It should be pointed out that he was nowhere near raising that $8 million from scamming little old ladies until there was a mysterious last minute donation that took him just over the top. But hey, Roberts founded his own university in 1963. What will you get out of going there? Well, for your tuition money will more than likely go towards Roberts and his wife's vacations, home remodels and other expensive shit. No really, not going to be spent on that at all.. oh wait, what did the associated press say?

But hey, for your money you can get a Doctorate in Theology. And you thought my college degree was worthless? HA! I guess the whole Doctorate in Theology can get you a higher level in how you go about scamming people out of their money. Considering the press release from his death it's showing that he's still finding a way to con people out of money.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the Oral Roberts Ministry Healing Missions Fund, as part of the ongoing goal of Oral Roberts Ministries to take the saving, healing, delivering message of the Gospel into all the world until Jesus returns. Gifts can be sent in care of Oral Roberts Ministries, P.O. 2187, Tulsa, Okla. 74102, or online at http://www.oralroberts.com.

Good riddance. That old con artist has been taking up the oxygen of people who actually deserved it. I think that I'll add his gravestone to the list of graves I need to piss on at some time before I die myself. Anyone who I pissed off in life enough that wants to urinate on my grave, go ahead. But I don't think ANYONE would blame me for pissing on this guys grave.

Ashes To Ashes Done Classy

Ashes To Ashes Done Classy

When we die we like to think that we'll go out in some sort of classy or fashionable way. You don't want your body to get used by some college medical students or your organs being used like a football. Nor do you like to think of the reality of the situation that your body will be nothing more than worm food. It will unless you decide to burn the whole thing up to a pile of ashes, that is.

I'm still not sure what I want done to my body. Part of me wants to become worm food. Be all that I can be in the whole circle of life. But the other part of me just wants to have a viking funeral. Put my body in a small boat, drench it with fuel and push it out to sea while it's going up in flames. Let my burnt ashes float away forever lost. I somewhat doubt I'll be ever well known. And even if I am, what's so wrong with just letting my friends, fans or loved ones just remember me in their thoughts?



Well, now you can remind those loved ones how exactly you looked. You see, even if you decide to go the route of getting turned into ashes, you can have all the fun of an open casket. These custom urns, made using facial reconstruction and 3D printing are now available!

Talk about creepy. It would be like opening the eyes of the person in the casket to make it seem like they're looking at you and are still alive. Only you're not still alive. Just think of the implications. You no longer need a nice looking vase or urn to put up on the mantle. You can have a 3D face of the person who died reminding you of their absence for decades after they die!

To me it sounds a bit morbid. I suppose if they made those sing like the hanging Billy Bob Fish, they'd really have something going for them.


♫here's a little song i wrote...♫

I suppose the best part of the these is site advertises that they can use an image of the deceased or a favorite celebrity. I know who I'm getting, Britney, Bitch! I mean, why wouldn't you want to put your ashes into the head of one of your favorite celebrities. It's not like you'll be around when the celebrity hits bottom and is doing reality shows on VH1 to pay the rent, right?

I suppose it is a better method of storing the ashes of the loved ones. I mean, it has to be better than putting it in the fridge with a label of "DO NOT EAT", right?

The Set-Up Man Moves On... Good Bye Ed McMahon

The Set-Up Man Moves On... Good Bye Ed McMahon

This morning Ed McMahon passed away at age 86. While he passed away around family at Ronald Reagan Hospital, it's still very sad that his last year or so was such hell for him and his family. Breaking his neck in a fall and going bankrupt, it wasn't a great year for him. So let's take a few moments to look back at Television history.



I guess the real trick now is that you see him at your door with a check for $10 million, just assume it's a ruse or that he's death trying to get in your door. In fact, his later years were filled with side gigs. The New York Lotto has been running these ads for a while now



Scary that there's two dead people in that ad now. But a bucks a buck, right? Even if it's trying to push shit like Cash4Gold:



That was one of those last minute rushes to save his ass from total financial meltdown. Hell, for a while there he was about to be bailed out by Donald Trump. Is there any less dignified way to go? Well, I'm sure you can ask David Carradine about that... Now that's not a way to go out. Choked to death while getting off tied up and stuff. Compared to Carradine, Ed went out like a man.

I do wonder if they'll bury in a hermetically sealed jar on Funk and Wagnall's front porch. But that's a joke that goes back to the old tonight show days. You youngin's may not get it.



But speaking of ways to get taken out.. I suppose dying bankrupt was a good thing. Hell, I'd rather die broke as all hell after making massively big bucks. That means he had it all and he blew it all on things that made him happy. Fuck the family fighting over my millions, I want to use it all before I go out! He took it all with him. Now that's dying his own way!

But I have to say Bye-ooooh to you, Ed. You're saying Hey-ooooooH to the angels right about now. Don't worry folks, there's gold toilets and night shows galore where he's going off to.... and no creditors, no creditors at all...

You Can't Cheat Death

You Can't Cheat Death

I saw this in the news a couple of days ago and it rings the title of this post true, You can't cheat death:

Woman who missed Flight 447 is killed in car crash

An Italian woman who arrived late for the Air France plane flight that crashed in the Atlantic last week has been killed in a car accident.

Johanna Ganthaler, a pensioner from Bolzano-Bozen province, had been on holiday in Brazil with her husband Kurt and missed Air France Flight 447 after turning up late at Rio de Janeiro airport on May 31.

All 228 people aboard lost their lives after the plane crashed into the Atlantic four hours into its flight to Paris.

The ANSA news agency reported that the couple had managed to pick up a flight from Rio the following day.

It said that Ms Ganthaler died when their car veered across a road in Kufstein, Austria, and swerved into an oncoming truck. Her husband was seriously injured.

Wow isn't it ironic
Don't you think
It's like ten thousand ones
When all you need is a five
Its like raaaaai-ay-iiiiiiiin
On your wedding day
It's a free riiiiiiiiiiide

Well, I guess it's more like that one movie. You know, the one where they miss a flight and then death comes stalking them one by one till they all die in a less cooler manner. I think that movie was called Homeward Bound.

No wait, it was Final Destination. There's a new sequel of it coming out soon and in it they highlighted a death that's caused by a rock flying out of a lawnmower. Seriously? You mean you could have died in a huge car pile up, a rollercoaster or a plane crashing and you escape death to die by a rock? Please give me the option to have a much cooler death.

Let's forget that again and move back to the cannuck. It's like that Alanis Morrisette song about unfortunate things happening. But then again, that's every Alanis Morrisette Song if you can hear it:


I don't know about you, but after hearing that I want to make it my final destination to never hear that again. I wonder how the other 500 people who died in car crashes today previously cheated death. It's almost as if death is inevitable.....................!!!!!!!!!!

I'm on the road today. Well, partially on the road. Let's see how far I make it. But the whole thing does make you wonder and question things. When it's your turn to go, it's your turn to go, right. We're all living on borrowed time.. or some poetic spill like that. Really, you die when you die. One wrong turn or slip in the shower and we can all be dead tomorrow. Though, to be honest, the news article about 1,00,000 slipping and dying in the shower on any given day is a pretty big news story, I must say.



As an aside, the final destination franchise taught us all that death will take any opportunity to make your demise an exercise in Rube Goldberg design. Given the level of detail, death has to be an aspie.

So while I'm on the road today on hundreds of miles I wonder to myself... Did I cheat death in any possible way during my time up here? Perhaps.. perhaps.. I know I've drank a lot. Don't even get me started on the amount of food I ate. There is a very possible chance that I cheated death and it may catch up to me on the 101 down to Los Angeles. If it does, please don't let them include it into Final Destination 5.

See you guys! Either on the other side or when I get back home.

Immunity

Immunity

I wasn't going to touch all this swine flu shit because, well, I don't want to die. That and it's a lot of media buzz for something so fucking small. The flu kills countless of people yearly and it's not media attention. The whole fact that this is spreading a bit faster gets people concerned and really, there's no need for such craze.

The only reason Mexico is so hard hit by this is because their living conditions are piss poor. They don't have good medical. Even though you can get prescription medicine over the counter there that you'd need a doctors note for here, there's mass amount of crowding on public transportation and other places where the general public gathers. So it will of course spread quickly in such areas.



At best, this is a fade pandemic. Swine flu is this weeks bird flu which was two weeks ago pandemic craze. Speaking of which, did you know that Aids just went pandemic. I like the word Pandemic. Though I think I kept hearing it for months after watching the first or second season of the wire. Those Baltimore drug dealers sure have funny names for their drugs.

Before you folks dismiss Mexicans as being completely inept at handling this situation, consider this fact. Every time you hear about travelers going to Mexico and drinking the water, there's tales of getting deathly sick. Water, of all things. Mexicans are immune to that and freely drink it. You think they survive on Tecate and Coronas? Please, that'll cost too many pesos.


You see I find the term swine offensive which is why we should name it after the mexicans

This is simply a matter that when Mexicans are sick, they still go out. My mother would push me out the fucking door every day to go to school weather I was healthy or not. Half of my high school years was spent pale sickly white and shaking. Clearly I was going to be acting like an outbreak monkey in terms of passing whatever I had around.

To give Mexico credit. They've handled this outbreak responsibly with clear transpency and have been very responsive. They've taken the steps to prevent a much larger outbreak. Closing down shops and having people stay inside. Call Mexico a shit hole if you want but they got a lot of shit together. Can't say the same thing for other places.. ahem ahem KATRINA ahem!


So it began..

Keep going out and doing your business. This seriously isn't something to be all that concerned about. And don't get me started on the potential of the phrase "SWINE" to cause hell on the food industry. For some reason people think that you get swine flu from eating pork. Morons. Well, that just means more pig for me. I hear it's a magical animal.

The best course of action is to simply build up your immunity. How? I guess eat a ton of pork. Sure, why not. Wash your hands and just keep clean. Simple as that folks. It may be the end of April but it wont be the end of you.

On a final note, it's not a MEXICAN FLU, you honkies had it first. Just cause you don't want to remember the 70's fashion doesn't mean you should block out the 70's ads as well.

What Happens When You Die?

What Happens When You Die?

Since turning 29 I have come to the realization that I am no longer invincible. Yes, I too can be hurt and I will one day die. When? I do not know. But I am certain that I will die. So the question comes to mind on what exactly will happen when I do?

I posed this question to many friends and got their reactions. Here's some of the answers I got back:

- I just assume your consciousness winks out. i think of it as when you're on a long car ride or something and you fall asleep -- however many hours you were traveling are collapsed into an instant. except you never get to the end of the trip, and consequently you don't wake up. you don't necessarily dream when you sleep in the car, though, or at least i don't. so that's what i compare to dying, this null time that doesn't really register as having passed at all in your mind.

- Mental events stop happening in your brain, and that's it. no more consciousness.

-Heaven. Hell. Standard good-evil afterlife dichotomy.

-Hang out with virgins all day so im told.

-Decomposition

-"it's like going to sleep, except you don't dream"

-If you beat Death at twister you get to come back

-As you pass forward in time you'll find that you never actually "die", rather, your conscious experience will only be continued in the possible universes in which minute quantum fluctuations create conditions that result in your continued consciousness, no longer how minute the possibility of the given quantum fluctuation, due to the anthropic principle

-We will all live forever just not in the same universe

-Nothing

-I'd want to be able to haunt stuff

-Who cares?

-The world will be a quieter place.

-When your brain stops working your metal processes stop as well. You don't know you've died because you're dead and can't know anything.

Congratulations, you are now an inanimate lump of decaying flesh.

-About those 72 virgins.
But then that leads to the question on if the virgins stay virgins after you repeatedly fuck them, or do they get replaced with new ones? Or maybe... you don't really get to fuck them at all???

-Also what if i don't want virgins, what if you want experienced hotties that will know how to please??? Fuck, now I'm depressed.

-People cry for a few hours then after a few years no one remembers you.

So there you have it. Some theories there but I'm not gonna die so I don't care. If I were to die though, I do know one thing for certain, I would like John Cleese to speak at my funeral.

If You Have An Erection Lasting Longer Than 12 Hours, Please Consult A Mortician

If You Have An Erection Lasting Longer Than 12 Hours, Please Consult A Mortician

This is a cock and bull story if I've ever heard one. Especially given that it's from The Sun. I seriously don't know why I keep reading them.. I guess I do. It's for stories like this.

Viagra orgy man collapses

By VINCE SOODIN

Published: 26 Feb 2009

A SEX-MAD Russian died after guzzling a bottle of Viagra pills to keep him going for a 12-hour orgy with two women pals.

The women had bet mechanic Sergey Tuganov £3,000 that he wouldn’t be able to satisfy them both non-stop for the half-day sex marathon.

But minutes after winning the wager, the randy 28-year-old dropped dead with a heart attack, revealed Moscow police.

One of the women, named only as Alina, said: “We called emergency services but it was too late, there was nothing they could do.”

Nice effort, but he really blew it at the end. I would hate being a stiff after winning a sex marathon. At least he had a happy ending. His penis must have been sputtering dust and hot air by hour 10. Looks like his heart lost its load at the end there. All that sex must have been hard on him. This is a pretty fucked up story. They should erect a monument for him.

Ok, I'll stop with the terrible puns now... maybe.



I bet his famous last words: "ahhhhh, yeahhh. ugggh". It's funnier if you imagine that the heart attack was due to sheer excitement. Too bad there were no pics of the ladies involved. I am imagining porno-standard eastern Europeans. The reality is probably something less...well, just less.

It doesn't specify how many pills, but the story makes it sound like he took a whole bottle of it in a 12 hour span. It's no wonder he died of a heart attack, 90% of his blood was in his dong. I am not sure how to pronounce his name, but it looks a lot like it might sound a bit like tuggin' off, which makes it even better.



This didn't seem like such a half-cocked plan to begin with but there was clearly some holes in his execution. Taking that many little blue pills was not a smart idea. He would have lost his vision (temporarily) and suffered a massive (maybe complete?) loss of blood pressure as well as severe loss of cerebral cortex function due to the neurotoxicity of nitric oxide before he would of had a heart attack.

If you're wondering if he still has it, he probably still does. I'm wondering if rigor will keep it like that until it rots away, aren't you? Well it wont. Rigor goes away after a while. Also, this is probably the best way to go. Fuck 2 girls to prove them you can fuck for 12 hours non-stop and then just a couple of minutes of gloating, maybe drinking a beer, then you say "told you so" and drop dead. It's the best way to get out having to call the next day. And cuddling? Who'd want to cuddle with a dead body?



I know it's a total guy thing to not care about the other person but let's think about them for a second. Wouldn't the other participants be pretty exhausted, too? That's six hours of fucking each. Who's up for being the test subject in this "Fuck for 12 hours" bet? Whoever it was had this sort of situation cumming to them.

I'd say that now he not only wins, he gets bonus points. The kind of people who would make a 12-hour sex bet are undoubtedly jaded enough that someone dying at a party only makes it more "real."



He's a fucking hero. Well... literally. I'd be satisfied if my death were as manly/awesome. I guess it's not as manly/awesome since he had to take performance enhancing substances. Maybe they should just put a little Astrix to his record.