Gitmo - Coming To A Town Near You

Gitmo - Coming To A Town Near You

Do I have a Christmas time treat for you. For all of you folks who are keeping score with their Barry Obama promise trackers, you can cross another one off the list finally. It looks like Obama is finally going to close down Gitmo.. then again, he's going to reopen it in Illinois..

President Obama ordered the federal government Tuesday to buy the Thomson Correctional Center in northwest Illinois to house Guantanano detainees as the administration revealed that military trials would be conducted at the prison.

Meanwhile, critics of Obama's plan to move the suspected terrorists now at the military prison in Cuba to Thomson -- 150 miles west of Chicago -- included all seven Republican members of the Illinois congressional delegation: Peter Roskam, John Shimkus, Mark Kirk, Judy Biggert, Don Manzullo, Aaron Schock and Tim Johnson together in a rare joint press conference at the Capitol. The GOP Senate and House leaders, Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio), as well as Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), also objected to the transfer.

So instead of having military kangaroo courts at Guantanamo, Obama is now planning on having military kangaroo courts in Illinois. It seems like he's bringing it to his back yard. I'm not sure what demographic Obama is trying to please with this. Conservatives are furious about the terrorist being moved to American Soil (P.S. Gitmo is on American soil now) Liberals are furious about the still indefinite detention and military trials, and I'm pretty sure middle easterners don't give a fuck about where is indefinitely holding brown people; rather, the fact that they're just randomly snatching them up and holding them somewhere is the key issue here.



Well, Obama didn't say shit about civilian trials, he just wanted to clear out Guantanamo as he promised.. what was it now, a year ago already? Maybe this is a step in the right direction as prisoners detailed in the United States have legal rights whether they are citizens or not. The justice department has previously suggested that Guantanamo bay is outside the U.S. Legal jurisdiction, so prisoners detained there have a reduced chance of a court acknowledging their rights. The whole argument for suspending Habeas Corpus at Gitmo was due to it not being technically on U.S. soil.

I know what you're thinking, now that they're going to be in U.S. Prisons, they'll live the sweat life of watching cable TV and working out all day. Don't forget the 3 meals a day! You don't get that kind of treatment in the ghetto! oh wait.. what? You mean to tell me that there's no longer the "three hots & a cot" treatment in jail anymore? Only two meals a day for Indiana prisoners.



To be really honest, inmates are safer at Gitmo than in stateside civilian prison by a wide margin. For example, Gitmo does not feature shooting inmates for sport (while guards bet on the outcome via videotape) Bags of human feces dumped on inmates with shattered elbows if they complain, freezing inmates for days at a time, 36-year sensory-deprivation solitary confinement, penis amputation, being cooked to death in solar ovens, fingers chewed off by swarms of rats, having skull cracked in order to make inmate lose bowel control, being beaten to death while tied to chair with towel in mouth, gladiator fights to the death, bled to death internally over the course of many days + parents told on TV that inmate deserved it because he used drugs... and a rape every 4 minutes. All that and more happening every day right here in the good ol' US of A.

Then again, People in Northern Illinois are thrilled about this because they have no jobs and money and with this opening up, it would provide a large number of jobs to Americans instead of.. Cubans. Obama now gets to brag about reducing outsourcing. Who doesn't want a low-payig prison job so they can continue to shop at wal-mart instead of dollar tree. This isn't going to anger those Illinois. In fact, I think the only way to really piss off people in Illinois is to pronounce it Illinoise.



I hope nobody thinks Obama will do anything significant for the human rights of Guantanamo detainees. It's going to be a while before anything is even done there. I mean, how long has it been since he first decreed that he was going to shut it down....

No Sweet Home In Chicago For The Olympics

No Sweet Home In Chicago For The Olympics

The news broke yesterday that Chicago would not only NOT host the 2016 Olympics, but that they were eliminated in the first round of voting. Even with Obama going over there and pitching for the city. Let's see how it looked at the International Olympic committee



Oh boo! And here I thought Chicago was a sure shot in winning this. Now it seems that Chicago will miss out on all the joy and beauty of struggling to pay for all the new facilities the Olympics would have made them build. Even if it means destroying Chicago's economy in the process.

A lot of attention has been paid on the media coverage of local crimes in Chicago. From kids beating other kids to the typical every day Chicago corruption, how is any of this stuff news worthy? I do hate that they are painting the picture that in Chicago everyone gets beat by 2x4's but Rio is all about beaches and consensual sex.



Yeah, Chicago has taped beatings. But Rio is the helicopter capitol of the world so that the rich don't risk it on the streets. They drive the bulletproof glass industry because it's so dangerous on the streets. The moral here is that you should invest in bulletproof helicopters.

Rio winning is a human rights travesty. It's like throwing the 1840 Olympics in Atlanta.. or holding an Olympic event in Nazi Germany... Oh wait. It's going to be a real shock to Brazilian society when they start displacing their poor for this. For



Looking to the past Olympic games, they've displaced more than 2 million people in the past twenty years. 1.5 were evicted during Beijing. 3,000 Roma for the Athens Olympics. About 30,000 low income people of Atlanta, Georgia were affected as well. What will happen to all those shanty towns?

2,000 housing units were destroyed, leaving 6, 000 residents without homes. Additionally, 9,000 homeless folks were given citations and removed. Finally, 720,000 people, mostly the poor, were displaced during the Seoul, South Korea Olympics. Many would say that removing homeless people, beggars and the poor would be a great clean up effort, but obviously humans should not be treated like cockroaches.



The Olympics are notorious for going over budget. London's going to cost three times as much as originally expected. Who suffers then? Then there's the Olympic village. For London, they have no idea what they'll do with the 1.1 billion dollar Village. It's a sad fact that most of the Olympic venues fall into disuse and disrepair pretty quickly. Even the much-fapped-over Birds Nest Stadium has hardly been used since last summer's Olympics.

Chicago is already $500 million in the hole for this year, I just think it would have been a huge drain on city resources for not all that much of a benefit. I'm sure the art of the deep dish pizza will be lost on all those out of towners. Now we'll be able to see Charo and Sepultura handle the opening ceremony.



The problem now is we're going to get a few weeks of bleating about Obama's failure to bring home the games rather than years and years of mudslinging about how corrupt the Chicago games will be. The never ending amount of corruption talk and how much Obama is personally involved in lining the pockets of Delay with hundreds of instances of bribery, kickbacks, etc that would result alone sounds like a reason not to hold them in Chicago.

The Olympic games are basically a chance for the elite to show off and spend taxpayer money on their own pet projects that marginally improve the quality of life.. if by anyway of the host country. While this isn't evident in well developed countries, think of the old neighborhoods that got torn down to play host to the Beijing Olympics.


Don't be too sad Chicago, I'll be visiting in the next few months

How about those Chinese store fronts and restaurants that were complaining that the Beijing Olympics didn't increase their businesses because the threat of leaving the Olympic village wasn't worth it. With Rio being as fucked up as it is, do you honestly think any of those local businesses will see anyone come out of the compound Olympic village?

From what I can tell the best, if not only, reason to have the Olympics in a city is to improve the international reputation of the host country. It seems like large cities in countries that are already major global players don't benefit economically and just wind up having brand-new billion dollar buildings going mostly unused.

This is exactly why "new" powers like China, Putin's Russia and now Brazil are willing to fuck their relatively poor people in the ass--they are insecure and need the validation of the world to make them feel like big boys. A place like Rio, a tourist attraction in its own right, wont get a major boost. Not to mention that it'll suffer some because they already have to deal with working with the world cup in 2014.

But hey, if you need some primer to get you to know a bit more about Rio, let Disney be your guide:

Caution: Zombies - It Must Be A Sign

Caution: Zombies - It Must Be A Sign

In the last few weeks there has been an epidemic going on. A ZOMBIE epidemic! But before you board up your homes, gather weapons and raid any malls you should know where they're coming from.

First it was a spotting in Austin, Tx warning people that Zombies were ahead.

You can find the evidence all over the internet. Dustin Coates and Julie Montgomery were among dozens of people who captured road signs flashing, “Caution: zombies ahead, run for cold climates, the end is near!“ Signs on both sides of Lamar between MLK and 15th were altered some time Sunday.

"This is a first for us. We are new to this kind of thing,” said Sara Hartley, Public Works spokesperson.

Hartley says whoever did this cut the locks to the computer system and hacked in.

"While the content of what it was changed to was amusing to a lot of people we want to make sure that people understand it's a public safety hazard," said Hartley.

Zombies would invade Austin. Godless, bastard town full of Sodomites. This would be perfect if it was placed on a road close to Zilker Park during Austin City Limits. When you walk out of there you're already hung over, dirty as fuck and practically a zombie. And have you've ever been to South By South West? Paint the crowds green and you've already witness the Zombie mobs.


Fucking zombies, I got a ticket once because I didn't slow down to 45 before driving through a zombie area. NO ONE ELSE EVER SLOWS DOWN geeze!

I guess I would suggest that Austin is quite possibly the most prepared city in the country for a Zombie Apocalypse. Why you ask? They have all of the following:

*A well armed, yet liberal minded population.
*4 indoor shopping malls conveniently located around the city.
*Law enforcement trained in herding large gatherings of inebriated people.
*Easygoing populace makes forming "loose-knit band of survivors" simple. Just stand in the middle of an street and yell "Who want's to form a loose-knit band of survivors?" and 20 people will be there in seconds.
*Huge number of aspiring filmakers who have studied every zombie movie made in hopes of being the next Tobe Hooper or Robert Rodriguez.
*Alamo Drafthouse located there. Few entrances that are easily barricaded, large supply of movies to watch, industrial sized kitchen, plenty of alcohol for drinking/molitovs, etc.

Then the zombies showed up on the road signs in the grand ol' corrupt Illinois

COLLINSVILLE, Illinois - Pranksters in at least three states are messing with electronic road signs meant to warn motorists of possible traffic problems by putting drivers on notice about Nazi zombies and raptors. And highway safety officials aren't amused.

The latest breach came Tuesday during the morning rush hour near Collinsville, Ill., where hackers changed a sign along southbound Interstate 255 to read, "DAILY LANE CLOSURES DUE TO ZOMBIES."

A day earlier in Indiana's Hamilton County, the electronic message on a board in Carmel's construction zone warned drivers of "RAPTORS AHEAD — CAUTION."

And signs in Austin, Texas, recently flashed: "NAZI ZOMBIES! RUN!!!" and "ZOMBIES IN AREA! RUN."

Officials in Illinois are concerned the rewritten signs distract motorists from heeding legitimate hazards down the road. The hacked sign on Tuesday originally warned drivers of crews replacing guardrails.

"We understood it was a hoax, but at the same time those boards are there for a reason," said Joe Gasaway, an Illinois Department of Transportation supervisory field engineer. "We don't want (drivers) being distracted by a funny sign."

Authorities haven't figured out how pranksters access the signs. Gasaway believes the Illinois sign was changed remotely, and Austin Public Works spokeswoman Sara Hartley suspected the hackers there cut a padlock to get into the signs' computers.

Some Web sites, such as Jalopnik.com, have published tutorials titled "How to Hack an Electronic Road Sign" as a way to alert security holes to traffic-safety officials. Jalopnik urges its readership of 2.6 million a month not to put its lesson to practice.

"Hacking generally is about showing where there are holes in security systems, and I think this is a great example of that," the site's editor-in-chief, Ray Wert, told The Associated Press by telephone Wednesday. "I'm sure there are all sorts of ways to use that information in a way that's inappropriate, but we're trying to make clear this is an issue that needs to be confronted by traffic safety and transportation officials."

Wert said he had no immediate plans to take down Jalopnik's how-to guide.

In Illinois, tampering with an official traffic control device is a misdemeanor punishable by up to a $250 fine — half what a culprit might have to pay in Texas if caught. If convicted in Indiana, a culprit faces up to a year in jail and $5,000 in fines.

They had to deal with political craziness for a while now, I can only imagine that a Zombie situation will be a piece of cake to them. Let's be honest, there's already the zombie mentality for Chicago fans who follow the Cubs. What a bunch of losers!



So the big question is how are they doing this? It's really very simple and whenever I hear people call others "Hackers" for things like this, a little part of me dies inside. This isn't hacking. This is a simple prank. You don't need all that high tech information to do this. All you need to do is learn how to type on a glorified speak and spell. Hell, there was talk at the last defcon about billboard hacking.

This is the ADDCO portable sign. Today, you see what is on the inside, and how they are programmed to display important information.
*** WARNING YOU SHOULD NEVER TAMPER WITH THESE SIGNS ***

1. The access panel on the sign is generally protected by a small lock, but often are left unprotected. Upon opening the access panel you can see the display electronics.


2. The black control pad is attached by a curly cord, with a keyboard on the face.



3. Programming is as simple as scrolling down the menu selection to “Instant Text”. Type whatever you want to display, Hit Enter to submit. You can now either throw it up on the sign by selecting “Run w/out save” or you can add more pages to it by selecting “Add page”

** TIP ** Should it will ask you for a password. Try “DOTS”, the default password.

In all likelihood, the crew will not have changed it. However if they did, never fear. Hold “Control” and “Shift” and while holding, enter “DIPY”. This will reset the sign and reset the password to “DOTS” in the process. You’re in!



If you're not brave enough to break the law, you can always look at these regular signs being "hacked" by others and laugh.

Now you may be asking if this sort of pranks are ever a good idea. Those road signs are there to tell motorist important information like if a Left lane is closing ahead or that they should buckle up. I think it was worth the sacrifice simply because in one of the news stories about this CNN asked DO YOU HAD A ZOMBIE ESCAPE PLAN. I have to simply wonder, Do you?



Apparently only 56% of us have a plan. 22% don't have a plan, and 20% don't believe. By my math, there's 2% missing? Maybe those are just the first to get turned.

Also, you missed the section below the poll. "Your guide to the undead". For those of you who are looking for 'research' projects, the last one listed points to http://www.zombiepinups.com. No, I haven't gone there to see how good/bad it is.



And if you haven't been played out on all the zombie stuff so far, you can always read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy.

Oddly enough, I could see Colin Firth in a zombie film. As much as I hated the Keira Knightley version, she at least had the thin zombie look going.

So I think all this should meet your zombie quota. Hell, with a new Walking Dead issue coming out this week, I think you'll have more than your fill of Zombie to choose from.

Money Meet Mouth

Money Meet Mouth

With a title like that, you'd think that this was some sort of economy blog. NOPE! I've been there, done that, have the t-shirt. No more of that shit till another stupid thing happens in the news that I'd like to mock endlessly. This quick note is about Baseball. Is there anything more American than a Dodger Dog (Haawwwt Dawwwwg) in your hand and a cold beer in another, sitting on your ass watching grown men hit balls as far as they can.



All summer long you've enjoyed this sport and as Fox has put it, you can't script October. Trust me, they've tried. It ended a huge failure in the 94 baseball season when the Yankees SAG members and Dodgers SAG members couldn't come to a compromise on residuals for the home video market.


1994.. the year that didn't have this at Dodger stadium

Here we are experiencing October baseball. So who's ready to put some money where their mouth is at? I like my boys in blue. It's been 20 years since they won a world series, with Manny, Nomar, Maddox, Penny, Lowe, Blake and Torre I'm ready for another championship. So my meager $20 for the Dodgers to take it in the office pool isn't much when you look over to Vegas to see how many jonesing for a bet are willing to plop down.

I know one man who's itching to put something on the line. Mayor Anotonio Villaraigosa. Our fine mayor, in tradition of making completely pussy friendly bets with rival teams. In this case Villaraigosa has made a wager with Chicago Mayor Richard Daley. So you must be wondering what exactly is on the line?


His name is Tony Villaraigosa and he has a gambling problem...

If (or should I say When considering the cursed) the Dodgers win against the Cubs, Chicago will have to hand over their 2016 Olympic Bid that Los Angeles lost. If the Cubs win, Chicago gets to take LA Times owner Sam Zell Back.

Now I'm torn. I really don't want the Olympics in Los Angeles again. I'm still trying to sell off all the stupid cartoon Bald Eagle crap from the last time it was here over twenty years ago. You can't give this shit away. Los Angeles is full of traffic as it is. We don't need to lure more tourist into our fine city.


Then there's Sam Zell. Any journalist will tell you that he has been a human house pet to the paper and only pisses on it every other day. Slashing jobs and destroying content. Reporting news that is days old. It's a piece of shit now. I used to look forward to opening the paper. In this modern day of internet news, the LA Times is a thing of the past.

As much as it pains me to say this, Dodgers, I think we're going to have to take a fall. Am I going to have to cheer for the Cubs now? How about we just put up a different bet on the line. If Dodgers win, Chicago changes The Friendly Confines as their motto to The worthless Chicago team. And if the Dodgers lose, they'll.. I dunno. stop putting ketchup on hawwwt dawwwgs



This makes me think of something else. I really think these sort of bets are lame. It's like when the mayor of Boston bets a crock of clam chowder and the mayor of green bay bets a wheel of cheese. What kind of bet is that? I'd like to see two teams face off from cities who's mayors have massive gambling problems. It'll be interesting to see where they'd take a bet.


Here's some of my ideas as to a wagers to put your money where your mouth is at.

Losing city has to have every city hall employee show up to work naked on the following Monday.

Six months worth of sanitation budget, straight up.

Losing city changes all border signs to read "now entering loserville" for one week.

Losing team moves all of their scheduled home games to winning teams' stadium, concession sales from relocated games go into city slush fund.

Losing City does the others laundry for a month

Sexual favors. Nuff said

Mowing the lawn of all the other cities residents while wearing their wife's Sunday dress

Playing for pink slip, yo.

Bragging rights.. to sleeping with the losers moms! Ooooh SNAP!

City hall, straight up.

So come on Dodgers...er.. Cubs. Fuck, either way we're boned with this series. So.. is there any Cubs fans out there willing to put the curse on the back burner and let it ride?