Halloween - Dress Like A Whore

Halloween - Dress Like A Whore Day

Did you think that you would get by a Halloween season without me making my annual "Halloween is a free pass for women to dress like whores" rant? Well then, you obviously don't know me well enough. Why yes, it is indeed the time of year when you are allowed to dress like Meg Whitman...



But seriously, why does everyone dress like a whore on Halloween? Well, okay - not everyone. Guys can't get away with it unless they're going to the West Hollywood Halloween celebration.

Maybe I'm just looking at this whole thing wrong. Maybe this is just the final goodbye to the male gaze as we are approaching winter and, well.. we all know that the sun dresses and other revealing clothing gets put away this time of year. So Halloween ends up being that last goodbye to the patriarchy. The final curtain call where you can sadly see curtains....


I don't recall Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter having his tits hang out?

But perhaps the reason this feels so wrong is because it seems to have been jumped all over by capitalism in the worse way. You end up paying more for a flimsy little piece of fabric than you would for much more coverage.

I wondered why but then I looked up Costumes for women and sure enough, "sexy costumes" are nothing more than reclassified sexy lingerie. Yandy.com is a website which I guess is normally for sexy lingerie, in essence, shit to spice up your bed room relationship issues and explore fetishes and it's clear that they realized that something you'd wear to get it on is pretty much easily crossed over to something you'd wear to show off your body in public.

To say their site had a few odd choices would be an understatement, but in the name of comedy and for something to write about, let's take a look.



I'm not exactly sure who that appeals to? I mean, are left overs left overs for a reason? How much does it boost the self esteem of a girl to dress up as something you toss in the fridge and potentially only eat it if you have no other options later.

I have a fortune for you, you will be ignored for a week and then tossed out after your bad smell is discovered. Lucky numbers 2, 4, 18, 23, 64.


Who you gonna call? Perhaps a seamstress to sow up that top.

Is it even like a geisha like design? I mean, I have a thing for Chinese pattern dresses, but is this giant leftovers box suppose to turn me on? I also like the well placed "THANK YOU". You know someone's getting down tonight! And without the need to verbally thank the other person after as they could just read it right there.

The site is also like many other stores this time of year in that they're already gearing up for Christmas, as it features this excellent Santa Claus costume that any young child will want to give their wish list to.



On a side note, I believe Santa Clause is more real than anything on that girl's body. But fake holiday character costumes aren't the only thing you can find here. I would be completely sad if I didn't mention sexy female george washington (Who wouldn't want to fore score with her?)

I would like to request a sexy Leon Trotsky be made as well. Garter belt not necessary. Then there's other selections that I really have to question if this site is just some soft core porn site for those who don't have a credit card to enter a real porn site and for those who don't know how to use bittorrent to just download it.

I mean, how the fuck is this a costume and not just an example of the male gaze?


I guess it's just one of a few separate foundation garments they sell to be used as part of a costume. Like hey, check out this tutu-style petticoat they're selling! You can match it with... well, shit. I don't even know what you could match a tutu with and not look like a silly attention whore.

Don't you dare go to a Halloween party without one of these fabulous accessories



and who doesn't like shoes? They sure seem to have a shit ton of them there.

This next one transcends into the new world of Hipster Indians, which I finally saw first hand at Fat Tire's Tour De Fat the other weekend. But sure enough, nothing says classy as sexifying the native people of this land..



I honestly can not tell whether that's purely digital or a heavily heavily airbrushed photograph to the point of having the skin match the costume so much that it looks like she's draping flesh.

I'm not even sure how they got to the point of thinking like dressing up as an Indian would be a good idea. I mean, we oppressed their people, took their land, killed them off in droves and then stuck them in casinos. It seems that it's only adding insult to injury to make Halloween costumes mocking them, or at least stealing their identity and putting it on some college age white girl.



In fact, the only thing I could think of to say about that one is that I'm sure there's many people who would want to give her small pox.

I'm not even sure what this next costume is trying to suggest or even how much sense it even makes. As far as I could tell it's just dressing up like a giant female remote control



Nothing says female empowerment like a giant mute button over one breast and a power button over the other. Oh hey, what's that? You can turn up and down the volume of good and bad girl. Why gee, I wonder what I will choose in terms of bad girl. You don't want to bump it up too high, or you'll get the snapping finger

I'm also not sure why you would need a forward and reverse for Hotness. Is there such a thing as someone saying "Whoa there, you're waaaay too hot now, let me rewind you back a little and ugly you up." I can't even make out what the bottom buttons are for.



Just look at that battery on her back. How empowering, I must say! But now that you made up your mind as to what you will wear, what's next? Well it's time to figure out where you're going to show off your small article of clothing, of course!

The standard answer if you're like me in Los Angeles would be to hit up the West Hollywood parade. But that in itself is a nightmare of unimaginable proportions. Just look at the street closures and traffic circus involved..

the city relaxes its strict parking permit enforcement citywide (in some areas, not displaying a permit means more than a ticket, it means a tow) between 5 p.m. on Halloween to 6 a.m. Monday morning. Parking meters, however, will be enforced and the city warns that because it shares a sometimes tricky border with Los Angeles, make sure you read all parking signs (clue: most all L.A. street signs say "City of Los Angeles" at the bottom in small letters).

The event officially goes from 6 to 11 p.m. Below are the street closures and public parking locations ($15 to $20):

Street Closures

• Santa Monica Boulevard between Doheny Drive and La Cienega Boulevard including all side streets from 12 p.m. Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
• Robertson Boulevard between Melrose Avenue and Santa Monica Boulevard from 12 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
• San Vicente Boulevard between Cynthia Street and Melrose Avenue from 12 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
• La Peer Drive eastbound turn lane onto Santa Monica Boulevard from 12 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Sunday, November 1, 2010.
• Santa Monica Boulevard between La Cienega Boulevard and Holloway Drive/Croft Avenue from 4 p.m. Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
• La Cienega Boulevard between Sunset Boulevard and Santa Monica Boulevard from 4 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
• Sunset Boulevard eastbound and westbound turn lanes onto La Cienega Boulevard from 4 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.

Yes sir, that is one hell of a nightmare for anyone that lives anywhere near Santa Monica Blvd or the West Hollywood area. You really want nothing to do with that area for the whole Sunday through Monday morning aspect of things.

What exactly are you getting yourself into in that endeavor? A lot of body parts hanging out and since it's centered in a gay community, you know the inhibitions just go out the window. So of course you'll be seeing more costumes that would get you arrested for public indecency. But then again, it wouldn't be Halloween without that, right?



The main problem other than the awful parking, which in my mind is reason enough to skip out on it, is that happens is you and your friends wander around West Hollywood in a very slow moving shuffle with the rest of the folks out there in a vain attempt to figure out which bars or clubs you're going to try to get into to justify this trip to West Hollywood's madness.

Police force, while relaxed in terms of parking, is going to be way up in police check points and other inconvenient means. It's also a Sunday. Most folks actually have to work the next morning. I know I do. So staying out late doesn't seem like such a great idea. Nor does drinking till you can't remember. This is why I'm sure that most parties will be on Friday or Saturday this year... in some cases - Both!



Or you could take the drive 90 miles out to Santa Barbara for Isla Vista's little Halloween Parade which has the benefit that it's invaded by the masses of the local College UCSB. Which if you were in the younger demographic would be perfect material to pick up on that "Sexy Nurse" that crosses your path or that "Sexy bloody chick". You never know until you try your luck, right?

I've been to Both and I have to say that I had a lot better time in UCSB. The party scene, well.. when I was a good 6-7 years younger was more suited for my style and it was less of a mad house than West Hollywood. I can't say I'm much of a club going as well. So that just was pointless to me.



No matter what you do this weekend, it's a lot better for the memories to stay safe and not drink to hard - potentially risking your Monday 9-5. Let alone a DUI all for the sake of all Hallows Eve. It's probably also not a good idea to wear very little and expose yourself to the elements.

Then again, I go back to thinking that this is that final bow to the low cut exposed summer time attire. I'm sure the guys appreciate the view, but remember.. You don't have to wear a costume that has the word "Sexy" in front of it.

If anything, this should show you that if you really want to dress like that, then by all means dress like that normally. Too many people use this Holiday as a free pass to enact their inhibitions. Just do it if you really want to. But don't use Halloween as an excuse.

Calendar Girls

Calendar Girls

It's never to early to think about what you'll be hanging up on the wall to separate the days next year. So let me be the first to show you the 2011 calendar you'll want to have. Say hello to your Czech Sexy Members of Parliament Calendar!

The 2011 calendar features four women MPs from the Public Affairs party wearing little in the way of clothing in a series of images that dispatch the traditional image of staid and serious parliamentarians. The country returned its highest ever number of women MPs at the last general election.

Two other women, one the party's candidate for the mayor of Prague, make up the numbers, with each politician photographed twice for the calendar, which will be sold for charity.

"We want to draw attention to the fact that we have women in politics," said MP Lenka Andrysova, who appears in one shot in a thigh-high dress kneeling on a shelf.

Katerina Klasnova, the 32-year-old deputy speaker for the lower house of the Czech parliament, is photographed lying on a bed wearing a loose-fitting robe.

The Czech elections in May saw a record 44 women elected into the lower house of parliament. In a significant political shift, young parties such as Public Affairs, in which women have a stronger presence, entered parliament for the first time.

Public Affairs and Top09, another newcomer to the Czech parliament, are now involved in coalition negotiations to form the country's next government.

"Women's political influence is growing. Why not show we are women who aren't afraid of being sexy?" said Marketa Reedova, Public Affair's 42-year-old candidate for the Prague mayor's office.

Public Affairs has previously used glamour to highlight its strong female presence. During the election campaign four of the women who appear in the calendar posed for a billboard poster wearing black swim suits.

As further evidence that few in the Czech Republic have qualms over spicing the world of politics with touch of glamour and sex appeal, in the days after the election the glossy women's magazine "Ona" (She in English) encouraged readers to vote for "Miss Parliament", asking them to choose their favourite female MP.

So with that said, do you want to see the pictures? I mean, they are worth a thousand words, after all.













Wait a minute. What? That's it? That's it?!?! Maybe the foreign films have lead me to think that any time people do calendars that nudity will be included. Oh well. I love this quote

"Why not show we are women who aren't afraid of being sexy?"

I mean, it's about time someone took a stand on the deplorable lack of sexualisation of women in the public eye. Has a woman ever been "Afraid" of "being sexy"? Heads up, you can be a feminist and still like to feel sexy and horny, it's amazing, I know. But it's true, I swear.


Avril Lavigne?

I guess the only time someone really doesn't want to look sexy is if they don't want to look sexy for someone they're not interested in. Don't look at me like that, pervert! sort of thing.

OH MY GOD, I can see their legs AND feet! Don't look now. My favorite is the one of her brushing her teeth. Cause, I mean.. what? I guess they're cute pictures and poses. I don't know. I guess it's just a little vanilla compared to what I would normally expect one of those calendars to have.



That woman looks hot and smart with those glasses and that book. Though the book is an upside down copy of Atlas Shrugged.

I guess your average feminist wouldn't have a problem with strapless dresses and short skirts if guys went around in public showing that much skin with a straight face. But then again, double standards, right?


That's Okay love, sometimes I have trouble getting out of the bath as well.

But I dunno. I'd go around half naked all the time if I had a good enough body for it. I mean, be proud of your sexiness! Though if I had a daughter she will be wearing a potato sack until she is 18, god damn it!

I guess the real indicator of equality is for your average woman to not be judged because you wore the same work clothes three days in row. It's pretty much the definition of male privilege.

Either way, I guess you should clear room on your desk for a new 2011 calendar cause who can pass up some political figures? Pray that the U.S. senate never attempts this.

All The Doctor's Companions

All The Doctor's Companions

Last Saturday was the premiere of the new season of Doctor Who. Well, across the pound that is. I'll rub it in once more that BBC America doesn't get it till next week. Ha! Good luck waiting that week, I'll be enjoying tonight's episode in a couple of hours!

Any how, if you aren't lucky enough to catch a BBC version of it then you'll get caught up in the following week, but perhaps you should pay some attention to the new companion that is tagging along The Doctor as she's already making some controversy for what she's wearing.



You see, Amy Pond is too damn sexy!

He's spent hundreds of years traveling the universe with rather tomboyish companions by his side.

But when Doctor Who returned to our TV screens on Saturday night, the Time Lord was joined by a new sidekick - a kissogram with an almost non-existent mini-skirt.

The revealing outfit prompted a flood of comments on online message boards, with a section of fans accusing producers of 'shamelessly sexing up' the long-running family show and labeling it 'slutty'.

The reaction threatened to overshadow Matt Smith's well-received debut as the Doctor after taking over from David Tennant. Some 8.3million viewers tuned in.

New companion Amy Pond, played by 22-year- old former model Karen Gillan, first appeared on screen in a policewoman's outfit with a tiny skirt. In one scene her character tells the Doctor that her kissogram repertoire also includes nuns and nurses' outfits.

And in another, she watches as the Doctor completely undresses in front of her while getting changed.

As he strips off, Amy's fiance Rory asks: 'Aren't you going to turn your back?' to which she replies, 'No', while running her eyes over the naked Doctor (though viewers saw him only from the waist up).



It was even more surprising given the rather conservative attire worn by actresses who have played the Doctor's companion in the past, including Bonnie Langford and Elisabeth Sladen.

Even her more recent predecessor, former pop star Billie Piper, covered up for the part, preferring hoodies and jeans - although fans with longer memories will recall leggy Leela, played by Louise Jameson in a skimpy animal skin costume, or Peri (Nicola Bryant), who made her debut in a pink bikini.

But Miss Gillan defended the decision to dress in a mini skirt, saying: 'I tried on different things and when it came to the short skirts, I just thought it was right. I mean, look down most high streets and girls Amy's age wear that. It's not that weird. 'Short skirts show that Amy is confident and comfortable about her look. You have to have confidence to wear something like that.'

Doctor Who's executive producer Piers Wenger said that Steven Moffat, the series' new boss and chief writer, had wanted a sexier companion for the Doctor. He said: 'The whole kissogram thing played into Steven's desire for the companion to be feisty and outspoken and a bit of a number.

Amy is probably the wildest companion that the Doctor has traveled with, but she isn't promiscuous.

To this I say, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?! Why are you even complaining about this? You're damn right Amy Pond is sexy and I have no problem with such beautiful eye candy gracing the screen of science fiction television. Maybe now the general masses will actually tune in? Besides that, you should NEVER, EVER discourage a redhead to be sexy. That's like saying Fish swim too much. No, that's what they do.


Too sexy? Uh.. come on.. that's perfect levels of sexiness!

What isn't portrayed in either the article or this blog is her accent. A scottish accent to boot? Come on. You should not be doing anything but showering praise on this lady for bringing her A game to the Doctor Who season.

But by no means is this the first time that the Doctor's side kick has been sexy. I mean, maybe it's just that I have no problem with seeing a short skirted, pale skinned, very cute red head along side someone with a sonic screwdriver. I mean, look at this classic Who moment

Sexterminate! So where should we start with this discussion? I mean, Doctor Who has a very long list of companions considering how long the show has existed. But even the article does a little run down of the whole "Girl Next Door" thing with the past Doctor Who ladies.



The person who complains about this is the same type that would bitch about the James Bond Girls. I'm sorry, but I'm not that big of a spy nerd so I don't really care about James Bond. The equivalent here is that the Doctor has a long history of ladies around him and of those, some will automatically be a little more sexy than the others. Besides, for all the time it has been on the air in some shape or form, it's grown with the times. As woman's rights issues changed, the acceptability of what they shall wear or look like has also done so.


How many takes this took to film? Countless!

Besides, who's really going to complain about that? You're traveling through time and space, it can get a little lonely. What's some eye candy every now and then? So moving past those previous ones, we should take a look at some of the modern day companions.

First we have Rose... To be honest I don't think Billie Piper is all that attractive. I know, how strange. I mean, yeah, I can see how she would be considered sexy. But perhaps it's just not my type of look. I think her face is a little too squished together and stretched out at the sides.



But even with that lack of preference towards her, I'm surprised she didn't get labeled as the "sexy sidekick" since it seems the world falls over for her. Besides that, after Doctor Who she worked on a show all about sex. Secret Diary of a Call Girl. I mean, you can't get closer to sex than that. I don't care how short a skirt is, it has to be longer than nothing at all under the covers.

So I'm not going to toss Rose out in terms of looks. I mean, yeah, given that for most of her run in Doctor Who she was covered up with a lot of clothing. Perhaps they were trying to avoid the potential of having this topic come up in the past in a family scifi show..



After Rose was Martha Jones. Oh Martha Jones. She really was the rebound companion. There was that whole will they/wont they romance between her and the Doctor. That one didn't really fly right with me. Mainly because I was really was getting tired of the Doctor falling for the pretty lady that was traveling space and time with him. Nothing against Martha. I'm sure she's a nice person and all, but I just wanted them to be friends..



After Martha it seemed like The Doctor was a bit broken, so that's why I especially liked the next companion. Catherine Tate - Donna Noble. Who has been my favorite companion of all of them. Though Amy Pond is really close to beating her with just one episode appearance so far..



What was it with Donna Noble? Hey, maybe it is because of the scarlet do on her head and even though she was NOT a love interest, I guess that's why I found her to be the best one. Now was she sexy? Well, she was mainly covered up properly, though Catherine Tate does have.. um... yeah.

But I just found her to be sassy and all sorts of comedy. She was real. Maybe not real sexy, but her attitude really made her stand out. It's her sass that really made her attractive and not in that "I want to sex her up!" sort of way. Donna Noble was that female friend you could have who wasn't a bad looker but you weren't going to try anything cause, hey. You're too good of friends.



I think the biggest let down was Kyle Minogue who only appeared as the Doctor's companion for one special that was based around a space titanic situation. Why was it a big let down? Cause she lacked any of the sexiness that you come to expect from Kyle Minogue. I mean, this chick was a major crush of mine growing up.

I mean, I wasn't expecting her to bust out into a song and dance number of Come into my world, or anything. But still.. I think seeing her act just brought back bad memories of Street Fighter and not of any good memories of hearing her music.



Kylie, you just let me down big time in that episode. Though, I guess it had more to do with the writing. I mean, everyone just senselessly died without really a care in the world as to character development. They were just there to add to the death count.

My favorite of the specials was Lady Christina de Souza from Planet of the Dead. This was the Easter Special Doctor Who episode and my, oh my. That was some Birthday Gift, RTD! Lady Christina was played by Michelle Ryan. As to why I liked her? I can't lie.. it's her eyes.



Before you call bullshit on that and think I'm just some objectifying misogynistic bastard, let me explain. Why yes, she has really big boobs. And why yes, I would be lying if I said I didn't notice them. You would have to be blind NOT to notice them. But that's just the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae that is Michelle Ryan.



The best part of her is her eyes. Those eyes! I mean, yeah, you'd have to click on one of these pictures to enlarge to see them better, but they're just so enticing that I could stare at them for hours. You don't have to tell me "Eyes up here!" Cause chances are I'd be looking at them anyway. You could even say she's some kind of... Bionic Woman.



Oh wait, she already was. Yes, Michelle Ryan had her own show on NBC as a remake to the Bionic Woman. It didn't last long, but it was loads of entertainment in seeing her kick some ass. Besides, even though the ending of that Planet of the Dead episode was a bit silly, even for RTD standards, it did have its moments and it showed Lady Christina as someone who would have made a good companion, though the Doctor was not ready to get back on that horse again.

Now let's jump back to the present (Time travel.. neat-o!) and see a little more of Amy Pond. Cause she is, after all, the sexy new doctor who companion. Is that really true?



Yes. Yes, it's very true.



Oh so very true!

So there you have it. Some of the companions of the Doctor's and a whole lot of images to never wonder why this man takes to time and space with a date. And with that, here's a preview for today's Doctor Who episode

Marking My Turf

Marking Your Turf

Let's face the facts.. if you're in a relationship chances are half of your concern is losing that relationship. So there's little ways that one tries to mark their territory. I can't say this is the most healthiest of things to do when you think about it, but some people just can't help but do it without realizing it. Take for example these Cafe Press gift ideas for the recently past Valentine's day;



It's sort of silly. I mean. Do you really not trust you significant other enough to not cheat on you that you have to do this childish branding. Yesssss! You're all mine now, Bitch! I OWN YOUR ASS! Nothing like

Just think about it, who is exactly going to look at your boyfriend/girlfriend's underwear that this will actually be put to use. You would hope that this isn't going to actually work in preventing your significant other from cheating. You know, like they're right there finally going to seal the deal in nailing someone else and then the pants/skirts come down and BAM! Right there it's in the other person's face that your BF/GF is the property of yours. Looks like someone got caught. Should have worn a different pair of underwear.



You go Kateland! You show them who's your man! I just don't get this idea of putting your name or marking your turf on your significant others underwear. Again, who is going to see it to begin with? Their doctor? Other than you, it's going to be hidden under clothing from the rest of the world anyway.

Then again, maybe they were going for the BDSM angle. I know, pink with hearts isn't very BDSM.. unless there's some weird pink-with-hearts-BDSM fetish I'm not aware of.... Oh wait.



I guess any fetish you are capable of conceiving to a degree sufficient to formulate expression of has already been thought up and has an enthusiastic community of participants. This includes that pink BDSM fetish, I'm sure of it. It's all part of Rule 34.

What's Rule 34? It's very simple. If you can think of it, there's a porn of it out there. No matter what it is, there's some one out there jerking off to it. No matter how deranged or how cute or how asexual it may be, there's some sort of porn of it out there floating and someone is getting off on it.

But anyway, I'm deviating here on the main topic of marking your turf. There's people out there that are so insecure that they don't want their partner to masturbate because it may be considered cheating in some really stupid sort of mind set. I don't know how they justify it. I mean, unless your partner puts out every time you have that urge, you should more than anything have the right to take care of yourself in whatever means you need.

So what is the answer to that sticky situation? Well, I recently came across this online kit they sell that you can use to make your girlfriend a vibrator shaped exactly like your dick. I'm not fucking with you (I didn't mean that pun). You put your dick in a mold and it makes a perfect replica of your own wang.



I suppose if you back up your computer software, it's only nature to back up your other hardware... Then again, I'm sure this is very practical for trannies. I mean, if you were going to become a tranny and you used this tool to make a vibrator shaped like your own dick then you can go in for the snip snip and then for the rest of your life you can at least have a back up copy of your cock if you ever need it.. or if you want to fuck yourself with it. Which is totally strange and well, too much god damn information.

If anything, it'll at least make a great mold for that trophy you want to give out to your partner when they do a really good job in bed. "Here honey, you get the Gold Wang for your work on my knob the other night. I'm sure if it was a hitch you would have taken the chrome off it."



But again, this just is another example of marking your turf. You feel the need to make a plastic mold copy of your cock so that your partner can masturbate with just seems silly. It's like saying that you may not be up for the task if you're call from the bull pen. "No can do honey, I got a headache tonight. Why don't you go to the dresser draw and get my replacement." It's like you feel they're cheating on you if they use that jack rabbit vibrating purple dildo.

Face the facts, you're not doing the job for some reason and that should be grounds for them to take care of themselves. Have it be with a dildo that isn't shaped like your cock or with you looking at this month's Maxim magazine. Same difference.



The best self-love gone wrong story I have ever came across from was one that seemed like a horror story (well duh, right?) It was about how a teenage girl attempted to fist herself and got said fist stuck up her vagina while she was at her grandmother's house and had to get her grandmother's assistance. Now the story would have been legendary at that point in itself, but it got worse.

Grandma couldn't get the girls fist out of there and so grandma had to wrap the poor girl in a blanket and take her to the emergency room where the doctor was able to lube her up enough to get the hand out. It really does sound like a terrible Winnie the pooh cartoon. The lesson is pretty clear - Never start masturbating without an exit strategy, it's just common sense.

Don't believe me about that story? You can find it as well as other horror stories AT THIS LINK. Believe it or not, the internet is just proof that a lot of strange shit happens. Again, Rule 34.



Which brings us to the next field of marking your turf.. Not being able to be told no. See, I never really got the appeal of a ball gag. Mainly because I actually enjoy feedback during.. well, you know. Being vocal isn't a bad thing when it comes to being in the moment so I'm a little surprised that people really go for ball gags.

But if you're into that sort of bedroom play, you too can get your lover a personalized ball gag. I mean, think about it, you really don't want to have a shared sex toy. Yes, that's a big no-no. You never buy used items that are going to be used in the bed room. So any how, back to the ball gag. Yup, if you feel like you need to mark your turf and personalize a ball gag, you can get one with such a cute little image on it from this place.


Ha ha.. I just got you fired! Way to go in reading this at work..

How could you turn down such a product? Let's look at the description again;

Isn't this just the cutest gag you've seen? I think so and that's why I already have several of my own (I just couldn't decide on a color! *g*) In fact, this stuffed ballgag is so cute, I've decided to give it my own tag line - Gag Kisses! This gag is soft and flexible and very effective too. For biters, you can really bite down on this without hurting your jaw or the gag! For those with small mouths or jaw problems, the small is smaller than rubber ballgags, finally allowing you that great ballgag mouth stuffing look and feel. Small is just 1 1/2" in diameter, medium is 2" in diameter and large is 2 1/2" in diameter. Remember, these are somewhat "squishy", so you'll be able to fit more than you usually can in your mouth.

Yup, that's right.. you too can not harm your jaw with a cute little personalized image ball gag for your significant other..



Getting back to that whole "do not buy used bedroom things" I suppose the fine folks in Japan don't know this rule.. But on a side note, they do know good and plenty about that Rule 34.. You see, the fine folks in Japan have been known to buy used panties in vending machines. I know what you're thinking, is that actually true? It is.

You see girlish youth and innocence is considered sexy in Japan. It's a culture with a long history of regarding women more as sex toys than as people. This sexual kick of untouched adolescence results in even the women who are in their 30's clutching onto childish mannerisms as well as toys and gadgets that one would put on their cell phone if they were some teenager.



How does this get back to the subject of marking one's turf? Well, how could it not. It's very simple. The idea of buying these panties is to try to capture someone's innocence. Act as Christopher Columbus in discovering the new continent. When all he wanted to do was spice it up. Then again, Americans seem to value that innocence as well as you see many frat and college age guys bragging about taking someone's virginity. I never got that appeal. As if one should be praised for having bad sex.

So all these different methods in potentially marking your turf. Seems a little silly. Instead maybe one should focus on just having a good time without all the branding... which would be the ultimate in.. um... marking your turf. Just enjoy what you have while you have it. You never know when it could be gone. Like they say, here today, gone tomorrow. Then all you'll be left with is underwear that indicates you're still the property of your ex.