"If You Pollute I Will Literally Kill You" - The BBC

"If You Pollute I Will Literally Kill You" - The BBC

It's a pretty strong message, but hey that's what this series of BBC ads would make you believe.



Don't let the insufferable accents get you, watch the whole thing through.

So the notion is you reduce 10% of your toxic lifestyle and you wont have 100% of your blood splattered all over the place. Makes you wonder what impact the cleaning products needed to clean up that mess make on the environment.

By now you would think that the ad was banned. It wasn't. The ad was pulled by the people who published it because some folks found it offensive. Imagine that! But it's not like any of that matters in this modern era where anything and everything shows up on the internet and controversy like this is a form of publicity you can't pay enough for to get the sort of attention you will when something is "Edgy" like this is.

Besides, much like global warming, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Ha! See what I did there? If anything, Climate change isn't happening fast enough and we're not killing enough people to help prevent the global destruction that we are doing daily.

There's a better version that I think is a much nicer solution to ending global warming and environmental chaos...



Yup, that's right. I want to kill everyone. It's a more accurate solution to global warming.

Maybe you're telling yourself that these ads are far too violent. Why would anyone want to spread the message of being kind to the environment or else you will be killed by someone else with a little red button.

If anything, I think maybe we can go even further with the ads. I heard probably the best climate change ad possible.

The ad would start with a young Jewish person being freed from a concentration camp and while they're look upon the U.S. soldiers crying her eyes out, she would say "Why did no one do anything to prevent this"... We cut to 100 years later and a young girl tearfully gazes upon the camera while the atmosphere behind her changes to show a tidal wave heading towards her and the nameless city. Right before the wave hits, you see tears stream down her cheek before they boil away and she winces in pain saying "Why did no one do anything to prevent this?"

At that moment we go to black and hear a loud crashing sound.

Yup.. now that would be an ad. Oh yeah, poor Gillian Anderson. Does a PSA ad and then gets blown up. The truth is still out there, yo.

June 26, 2010 - Doctor Who

June 26, 2010 - Doctor Who

Last Saturday I bet you were wondering why it couldn't be this Saturday soon enough. Well, I'll tell you - Because that would be two points in time that aren't suppose to touch! Do you want the universe to not have begun? Huh?! Well today is the day.. It's the day that the Tardis blows up everything in existence.

You see, there are cracks in the fabric of the universe.



Thanks a lot, Doctor Who! You and your silly Tardis just caused the end of existence! Wait, when you think about it.... it's far more fucked up than you think. The Doctor lets his wife/girlfriend/Rani/Sweetie/whatever take his vehicle out for a spin, and not only does she end up totaling it, she blows up the fucking universe too!

Women drives! I tell you.



I love the call back to the Van Gogh episode and it explains where he is driven mad near the end by visions of his friends blowing up. That is just what a depressive personality needs, constant horrific nightmares of the end of existence for real. The universe was sort of a dick to that guy when you think about it.

That cliff hanger was brutal to everyone involved. The Doctor laying it on Amy about her life.

"Does it ever bother you, Amy? That your life makes no sense?"

When he points out little things like Amy living in that huge house all by herself in only one room it kind of hits home just how bizarre she and her life actually is. I'm anticipating and dreading today's episode. Sure, we get our resolution - but we'll have to wait months for any new Doctor Who goodness.



I mean, how the hell are they going to get Amy back? Worse is how she got nailed by the realization that she forgot her boyfriend who died and here he is again... only oh yeah, he's actually a killer robot and not your dead boyfriend.... and he just killed you. Hope you had a good day!

And just to cut the speculation of Karen and Matt dating, I'm pretty sure Matt Smith is banging Gavin Rossdale's daughter, not Karen. So this means it's good news for for all of us devoted Karen fans who have a crush on her to reassert our confidence that they still have a snow balls chance in hell with Karen Gillan. The answer is.. we all don't.



Now you'll call me crazy but this following speculation and theory as to what is going on makes a whole lot more sense than I'd like to believe. It's my current favorite theory to why Amy's life makes no sense.

gallifreybase wrote down:

In the prelude special to TEH on BBC America, Moffat goes out of his way to remind us:

The TARDIS is a living being, referred to as "she".
Anything is possible with the TARDIS.
The TARDIS is the one true love of the Doctor's life, his most faithful companion.
The pictures/models in Amy's room are: Amelia, the Doctor and the TARDIS.
(And if you look at the close-ups of her room in TPO, the TARDIS is most emphasized.)
The paint in Amelia/Amy's room is referred to in Confidential as "TARDIS blue".
The Doctor refers to Amy as the "mad, impossible Amy Pond."
Amy's house is "too big", according to the Doctor. Since, TEH, I've always thought it looked bigger on the inside.
Amy's house door looks just like Craig's upstairs "TARDIS" door, except the colors are inverted.
Their stairways, Amy's second flight of stairs up and Craig's stairs up are suspiciously similar.
Time works very strangely around Amy. If you watch TEH again, only paying attention to the clocks and watches in it, you'll see what I mean. From Big Ben, to Amelia's kitchen, Amy's watch an instant later to the clock by the duckless Duck Pond, time is completely inconsistent throughout the episode. Time acts bizarrely around Amy in other episodes, too.
Listen again to the last scene in The Beast Below.
Amy says she understands how Bracewell feels. Why?
Amy knows things about the Doctor she shouldn't be able to know. For example, how does she know the Doctor doesn't usually allow anyone to salute him? Nothing in the series episodes or novelizations gives her that knowledge, at least not yet.
Amy says to the Doctor, standing in the TARDIS, "There's a whole world in here, just like you said." (Anagram Ledworth = the world)
Listen to the scene again in Amy's Choice, when the Dream Lord talks with Amy alone. "He always leaves you alone in the dark." "He'll never apologize."
Vincent says, "half human" and the camera focuses right on Amy.
The "TARDIS" at the top of Craig's imaginary stairs needs a "pilot". The concept art drawing from River's diary shows, "Amy Pond, TARDIS 'Pilot' " (quotes around pilot are on the page).

Care to check out more of this sketch stuff? Click here

[There are several other clues from the novelizations, but in case people haven't read them yet, I've decided not to include them on this list.]

The chameleon arch technology which made the Doctor human in Human Nature is part of the TARDIS. Why wouldn't she be capable of doing the same to herself? Especially considering the damage done to that part of the old TARDIS at the end of EOT/beginning of TEH. It may not have been intentional.

Or like the young boy in The Empty Child, Amelia was a real little human girl who's house caught on fire when the burning TARDIS landed there. (She's got drawings of her house on fire.) I prefer the chameleon arch, but we know Moffat wrote the TEC.

Did you notice that when Amy died, the TARDIS with River cracked and the universe exploded?

and last but not least, from the Doctor himself:

"What if time could run out?"
"Amy's time." (Amy is time.)

So, yes, my favorite theory for this series, which doesn't actually mean I think it's right, is that Amy herself is an aspect of the living being at the heart of the TARDIS.

I might be proven 100% wrong, but I'll still like the theory.

Oh ... one more thing. Look again at the very first glance we were given of Amy Pond

disguised as a police officer

Hmmm, blue and white checkered with a Police logo.. sounds familiar. Then you have the Doctor - Who is stuck in a Pandora's box sort of deal now. Kept forever alive and stuck in there away from his exploding box just to ensure that humanity survives.

It seemed to be a running theme through New Doctor Who. The Doctor has been played up as being a being of vast power and magnificence: the lonely God, the Oncoming storm, etc. We even see this in how enemies that may stand against him run in the abject fear after realizing who he really is and what he's capable of, just like in The Eleventh Hour.



It really does seem that the legend of the Doctor recites, "A nameless, terrible thing; soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies" could very ell fit The Doctor from the point of view of his enemies who have lost so much in battles with him time and time again. They don't see him the way we do, as a hero. They see him as a terrible, destructive being who inspires the most abject fear and dread in them whenever he waltzes onto the scene.

Just look at him in a couple of episodes this season where he nearly, if not specifically chooses humans over other species to save because of a crack in the universe we are lead to believe is his doing. Can't say his reputation isn't being known for being a complete bad ass.



I would be sort of sad if The Doctor Who season finale doesn't bring up or answer the whole no ducks in the duck pond question. I mean, Ducks again in his rambling speech in Flesh and Stone. If 'Duck Pond' is so he'll tell miss Pond to duck, why bother bringing it up again? There has to be something more to it, right?

Then if you think about it, the night that the Doctor first brought Amy into the Tardis is the same night Amy came on to the Doctor, and the same night River found landing marks on the house ransacked... Now that's one busy evening.

Then there's this Image of the Day.. you know, if this day was June 4th..

"A cosmic snake appears to slither across the plane of our Milky Way galaxy in this image from NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope. The snake-like object located about 11,000 light-years away in the constellation Sagittarius is actually the core of a thick, sooty cloud large enough to swallow dozens of solar systems and may be harboring beastly stars in the process of forming.

'The snake is an ideal place to hunt for massive forming stars as they have not had time to heat up and destroy the cloud they are born in,' said Dr. Sean Carey, of NASA's Spitzer Science Center..."

Oh the Doctor has his hands in everything. :p And with that, I do believe I will wrap it up and wait for the ending of this most wonderful season of Doctor Who.

Oh, did you want another picture of Karen? Why hey, I'm sure I could fulfill that request....

Sonic Screw Driver

Sonic Screw Driver

It should come to no surprise to anyone that I am a nerd. Yes, I'll admit it. I'm a huge nerd. It's not like this is a shocking after all. I've already done a couple of post about Doctor Who with the premiere of the new season last month. And with that came new everything for the doctor... especially toys. Yes, if it was no surprise to see the reboot of the series in a sorts, it's easy to tell from the fact that there's a new Sonic Screw Driver and, well, I now have my own.

What's a sonic screw driver? and who would need one? Well, let's let the 9th Doctor answer that one.



Yes, it's the answer to any problem. A plot device for writers to both abuse and conveniently ignore when they need to. It can do it all. From make space whales throw up to pick a simple door... unless it was dead locked or something.

I was a pretty big fan of the 9th and 10th doctor's sonic screw driver. Enough so that I have my own pen that looks like it. Even writes inferred ink and junk. So what do I think of the new Sonic Screw Driver? I like it! It's neat, but it's a lot bigger than the past one. Yes, I enjoyed how compact the old one was, but there's something to be said with the new one that it actually looks like a prop you'd see on the show.



I've got now and I'm not sure what I will do with it. If the past sonic screw drivers are any indication, I'll just point it at things and make the noise sound effect. It wont do anything but it'll make me feel like I'm 5 years old again or something. Even if it's much bigger than the other screwdriver models, even the Master's Laser screwdriver, which I remember thinking was chunky looking at the time.

I did come up with a pretty good mix drink for Doctor Who. You go down to Sonic's and get an Orange Slush Float - Mix in some Vodka and you got yourself a Sonic Screw Driver. Make sure to put potato Vodka in it for that Scottish companion that is Amy and you got yourself some good times. It'll at least make Sonic's tolerable.. maybe.

Closed


Opened


And before you say it, I will. It does look a little bit too phallic, right? Well, I guess that would be true if your penis has four prongs that spring open at the end... Oh wait, doesn't everyone? Oh, don't act like Doctor Who is innocent. You're telling me you didn't giggle a little when you first heard the Doctor describe the Tardis?

"Oh Doctor, it feels soo much bigger on the inside!"

Though this isn't the first time Doctor Who gets a little sexual. I had a blog post about Amy being too sexy a bit back. But come on, can we take a moment and look back at Love & Monsters? What a terrible terrible episode. I think the basic premise was pretty good. Focusing on a fairly ordinary person/group who encounters the Doctor and tries to find out more about him over time, showing a different perspective on previous events, and eventually stumbling into trouble of their own that ends with them finally getting to meet the Doctor. That could make for a good episode.. but it didn't. And since it's been done already, it never will.

But that wasn't the worse part about it. No, the worst part was the paving-brick blowjobs. That thing I just said, let's call it a distant second place. I can honestly say that I never wanted or even thought about a blow job from a chunk of sidewalk. Just imagine Torchwood got a hold of this story....



Actually don't. Ever

I'm really really liking the 11th Doctor thus far, but I'm finding it absolutely hilarious how quickly Moffat is distancing himself from RTD's run if you over analyze the hell out of it.
- Amy can't remember anything that happened during RTD times
- Moffat run has 'one ship survives' which fucks over EVERYTHING to do with Journey's End wiping them out (Yes yes I know the Daleks will always be about as a nemsis)
- The Dalek spaceship doesn't recognise RTD Daleks as 'pure' Daleks.
- Moffat Daleks disintegrate RTD Daleks.

It may be a bit looking too deep into it, but it's funny if you take a moment and think about it. In fact, the only thing that seems to have stayed the same was the monsters that Moffat created. The Weeping angels are one hell of a scary monster for the Doctor to face. But it's not like we haven't seen them before.. Just look at this Weeping Cat...



This week we finally get the resolution of the Weeping Angels two parter. I'm not even going to touch River Song cause, well.. I'm not sure how I feel about her and the smug satisfaction she has when she says "Spoilers". I'm hoping that eventually she isn't so smug. I mean, their meetings are out of order, so perhaps the more she appears, the less she will know.

But for those looking for those "Spoilers!", just click the following youtube links for a preview of the next episode.







BRING OUT the comfy chairs! and let's get some new Doctor Who playing. Booyah!

All The Doctor's Companions

All The Doctor's Companions

Last Saturday was the premiere of the new season of Doctor Who. Well, across the pound that is. I'll rub it in once more that BBC America doesn't get it till next week. Ha! Good luck waiting that week, I'll be enjoying tonight's episode in a couple of hours!

Any how, if you aren't lucky enough to catch a BBC version of it then you'll get caught up in the following week, but perhaps you should pay some attention to the new companion that is tagging along The Doctor as she's already making some controversy for what she's wearing.



You see, Amy Pond is too damn sexy!

He's spent hundreds of years traveling the universe with rather tomboyish companions by his side.

But when Doctor Who returned to our TV screens on Saturday night, the Time Lord was joined by a new sidekick - a kissogram with an almost non-existent mini-skirt.

The revealing outfit prompted a flood of comments on online message boards, with a section of fans accusing producers of 'shamelessly sexing up' the long-running family show and labeling it 'slutty'.

The reaction threatened to overshadow Matt Smith's well-received debut as the Doctor after taking over from David Tennant. Some 8.3million viewers tuned in.

New companion Amy Pond, played by 22-year- old former model Karen Gillan, first appeared on screen in a policewoman's outfit with a tiny skirt. In one scene her character tells the Doctor that her kissogram repertoire also includes nuns and nurses' outfits.

And in another, she watches as the Doctor completely undresses in front of her while getting changed.

As he strips off, Amy's fiance Rory asks: 'Aren't you going to turn your back?' to which she replies, 'No', while running her eyes over the naked Doctor (though viewers saw him only from the waist up).



It was even more surprising given the rather conservative attire worn by actresses who have played the Doctor's companion in the past, including Bonnie Langford and Elisabeth Sladen.

Even her more recent predecessor, former pop star Billie Piper, covered up for the part, preferring hoodies and jeans - although fans with longer memories will recall leggy Leela, played by Louise Jameson in a skimpy animal skin costume, or Peri (Nicola Bryant), who made her debut in a pink bikini.

But Miss Gillan defended the decision to dress in a mini skirt, saying: 'I tried on different things and when it came to the short skirts, I just thought it was right. I mean, look down most high streets and girls Amy's age wear that. It's not that weird. 'Short skirts show that Amy is confident and comfortable about her look. You have to have confidence to wear something like that.'

Doctor Who's executive producer Piers Wenger said that Steven Moffat, the series' new boss and chief writer, had wanted a sexier companion for the Doctor. He said: 'The whole kissogram thing played into Steven's desire for the companion to be feisty and outspoken and a bit of a number.

Amy is probably the wildest companion that the Doctor has traveled with, but she isn't promiscuous.

To this I say, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?! Why are you even complaining about this? You're damn right Amy Pond is sexy and I have no problem with such beautiful eye candy gracing the screen of science fiction television. Maybe now the general masses will actually tune in? Besides that, you should NEVER, EVER discourage a redhead to be sexy. That's like saying Fish swim too much. No, that's what they do.


Too sexy? Uh.. come on.. that's perfect levels of sexiness!

What isn't portrayed in either the article or this blog is her accent. A scottish accent to boot? Come on. You should not be doing anything but showering praise on this lady for bringing her A game to the Doctor Who season.

But by no means is this the first time that the Doctor's side kick has been sexy. I mean, maybe it's just that I have no problem with seeing a short skirted, pale skinned, very cute red head along side someone with a sonic screwdriver. I mean, look at this classic Who moment

Sexterminate! So where should we start with this discussion? I mean, Doctor Who has a very long list of companions considering how long the show has existed. But even the article does a little run down of the whole "Girl Next Door" thing with the past Doctor Who ladies.



The person who complains about this is the same type that would bitch about the James Bond Girls. I'm sorry, but I'm not that big of a spy nerd so I don't really care about James Bond. The equivalent here is that the Doctor has a long history of ladies around him and of those, some will automatically be a little more sexy than the others. Besides, for all the time it has been on the air in some shape or form, it's grown with the times. As woman's rights issues changed, the acceptability of what they shall wear or look like has also done so.


How many takes this took to film? Countless!

Besides, who's really going to complain about that? You're traveling through time and space, it can get a little lonely. What's some eye candy every now and then? So moving past those previous ones, we should take a look at some of the modern day companions.

First we have Rose... To be honest I don't think Billie Piper is all that attractive. I know, how strange. I mean, yeah, I can see how she would be considered sexy. But perhaps it's just not my type of look. I think her face is a little too squished together and stretched out at the sides.



But even with that lack of preference towards her, I'm surprised she didn't get labeled as the "sexy sidekick" since it seems the world falls over for her. Besides that, after Doctor Who she worked on a show all about sex. Secret Diary of a Call Girl. I mean, you can't get closer to sex than that. I don't care how short a skirt is, it has to be longer than nothing at all under the covers.

So I'm not going to toss Rose out in terms of looks. I mean, yeah, given that for most of her run in Doctor Who she was covered up with a lot of clothing. Perhaps they were trying to avoid the potential of having this topic come up in the past in a family scifi show..



After Rose was Martha Jones. Oh Martha Jones. She really was the rebound companion. There was that whole will they/wont they romance between her and the Doctor. That one didn't really fly right with me. Mainly because I was really was getting tired of the Doctor falling for the pretty lady that was traveling space and time with him. Nothing against Martha. I'm sure she's a nice person and all, but I just wanted them to be friends..



After Martha it seemed like The Doctor was a bit broken, so that's why I especially liked the next companion. Catherine Tate - Donna Noble. Who has been my favorite companion of all of them. Though Amy Pond is really close to beating her with just one episode appearance so far..



What was it with Donna Noble? Hey, maybe it is because of the scarlet do on her head and even though she was NOT a love interest, I guess that's why I found her to be the best one. Now was she sexy? Well, she was mainly covered up properly, though Catherine Tate does have.. um... yeah.

But I just found her to be sassy and all sorts of comedy. She was real. Maybe not real sexy, but her attitude really made her stand out. It's her sass that really made her attractive and not in that "I want to sex her up!" sort of way. Donna Noble was that female friend you could have who wasn't a bad looker but you weren't going to try anything cause, hey. You're too good of friends.



I think the biggest let down was Kyle Minogue who only appeared as the Doctor's companion for one special that was based around a space titanic situation. Why was it a big let down? Cause she lacked any of the sexiness that you come to expect from Kyle Minogue. I mean, this chick was a major crush of mine growing up.

I mean, I wasn't expecting her to bust out into a song and dance number of Come into my world, or anything. But still.. I think seeing her act just brought back bad memories of Street Fighter and not of any good memories of hearing her music.



Kylie, you just let me down big time in that episode. Though, I guess it had more to do with the writing. I mean, everyone just senselessly died without really a care in the world as to character development. They were just there to add to the death count.

My favorite of the specials was Lady Christina de Souza from Planet of the Dead. This was the Easter Special Doctor Who episode and my, oh my. That was some Birthday Gift, RTD! Lady Christina was played by Michelle Ryan. As to why I liked her? I can't lie.. it's her eyes.



Before you call bullshit on that and think I'm just some objectifying misogynistic bastard, let me explain. Why yes, she has really big boobs. And why yes, I would be lying if I said I didn't notice them. You would have to be blind NOT to notice them. But that's just the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae that is Michelle Ryan.



The best part of her is her eyes. Those eyes! I mean, yeah, you'd have to click on one of these pictures to enlarge to see them better, but they're just so enticing that I could stare at them for hours. You don't have to tell me "Eyes up here!" Cause chances are I'd be looking at them anyway. You could even say she's some kind of... Bionic Woman.



Oh wait, she already was. Yes, Michelle Ryan had her own show on NBC as a remake to the Bionic Woman. It didn't last long, but it was loads of entertainment in seeing her kick some ass. Besides, even though the ending of that Planet of the Dead episode was a bit silly, even for RTD standards, it did have its moments and it showed Lady Christina as someone who would have made a good companion, though the Doctor was not ready to get back on that horse again.

Now let's jump back to the present (Time travel.. neat-o!) and see a little more of Amy Pond. Cause she is, after all, the sexy new doctor who companion. Is that really true?



Yes. Yes, it's very true.



Oh so very true!

So there you have it. Some of the companions of the Doctor's and a whole lot of images to never wonder why this man takes to time and space with a date. And with that, here's a preview for today's Doctor Who episode

The Eleventh Hour

The Eleventh Hour

In true Doctor Who fashion I'm coming to you to post this from the future. Specifically April 17th. Why this day in the future? Well, that's because that is when BBC America will be showing the Eleventh actor to play The Doctor's season. Even though it did air back on April 2nd for those in England.. So yes, I jumped in a TARDIS.. or at the very least used my TARDIS USB Hub connected to my computer and came back in time to post this.. a game you can play as you watch the latest episode of Doctor Who.

What is it? Glad you asked. It's Doctor Who Bingo!



Just print those out and play along while you watch the episode on April 17th, cause really, what fun is just watching a new episode that you've never seen and are excited to witness, when you can make a game out of it?!? Why else do you think drinking games were invented? Then again, this is Doctor Who... so chances are you wont have anyone else to play this Bingo card with. In the effort to be an optimist, there's two. Maybe you can sucker your girlfriend into watching it. I mean, what else are you going to watch on BBC America between Top Gear episodes?

Which brings up a bigger point, why did the US get BBC America to agree to play it two weeks apart? What good does that do? I mean, I shouldn't complain. For one reason, with the power of the internet shows are at my finger tips literally the moment they finish airing on the earliest coast they aired on. I could understand the move when Scifi was showing it here in the states a good couple of months before/after the season showed up on DVD and at least 6-8 months after it first aired in England. But two weeks? Seems a little pointless.



You mean to tell me I'm going to have to hold my serious time travel discussion and how hot Amy Pond is for a good two weeks as America catches up?!? How dare they! I know. Then again, that whole "Two bingo cards" theory comes into play and chances are I'll be lucky to find someone else to even talk about Doctor Who with. Though, given my Girlfriend and a close friend both are into the show, you can take that whole paragraph as sarcasm.

Besides that, how many people in the US actually get BBC America? Especially given that the previous seasons were shown on Scifi in the US, which a lot more people get. BBC America is one of those special channels you have to shell out the big bucks for, or at least go beyond non-basic cable.



Driving on Robertson the other night I saw a Doctor Who billboard and was really surprised. Doctor Who, as I've often said it, is the show that even nerds call other nerds nerdy for watching it. It's not the bottom of the totem pole, but it sure is intimidating regardless on whatever it is that I said in the last blog post about this nerd show.

I just don't see people, who don't have BBC America already thinking that after seeing that ad that they got to update their cable plan and get BBC America to watch it. Those folks who like Doctor Who already got it and then again, chances are those folks who live along Robertson already do have it. I mean, it is upper crust and BBC News actually covers stuff on what happens on the Gaza strip.

Well, anyhow, I best be off. Got much fun things to do back in April 17th time line. You know, like enjoy being 30 or something..

Doctor Who?

Doctor Who?

Oh man, aren't you excited? This weekend is the return of Doctor Who. Yes, that's right. In the long standing tradition of BBC showing Doctor Who on all holidays when it's a big fucking deal, they are going to premiere the first episode in the 5(?) season of Doctor Who on Easter Weekend.

Us Americans can wait for BBC America to show it on April 17th, but then again, I'm Aries and I'm stubborn. So you're not going to have me wait, god damn it. I'll be downloading it like the rest of the real, true blooded nerds in this world.



Oh wait, you might now know what Doctor Who is. Or for that matter, you may be intimidated by the fact that this is actually the 31st season of Doctor Who to hit the television airwaves. Yes, that's right. 31 seasons of Doctor Who. That's 756 episodes from the original air date back in 1963.

Doctor Who may look like an intimidating series to get into considering it's going on so many seasons on the air. Just remember this. The only things you need to know to appreciate any story is that the Doctor is an alien with a time machine whose idea of fun is having adventures in time and space, and he almost always brings one more more usually-human companions with him. The rest will come out in the wash.



So yes. Doctor Who is about a Time/Space traveling alien called the Time Lord. He's potentially the last of his race, and he likes to go on travels with humans. Mostly female and in the past there has been a lot of love interest and what not. They go to places in time that they are needed.. or that something needs to be done.. or hell, just to watch the demise of something.

For those of you who are looking for a more detailed on why the actor who has played the Doctor isn't ancient looking, well.. there's a reason. They replace him. After the last actor wanted to venture off to the land of American television, they had it so that the Tenth actor to play the Doctor absorbed a great deal of radiation. He regenerated, a trick that time lords could do, which brings him into a new incarnation of what he should look like. Now he looks like a young hipster.



But this last regeneration was pretty violent. So violent that it set the TARDIS on fire and sent it crashing back onto Earth. Oh wait, you don't know what that is yet, do you? Well, the mode of transportation through time and space is a blue police box called the Tardis. Yes, a 1950's British Police box is the tool of time travel. Now that Hot Tub concept doesn't look so far fetched, now does it?

Not only is the Doctor getting a new look, but the Tardis will also have a new design and layout on the inside. I believe that it has been described as very Steam Punk. Oh my, not only is the new Doctor a hipster, but they're making the TARDIS steam punk? Clearly they're trying to target a certain demographic.




But still, it's worth giving it a shot. It's classic sci-fi. Hell, it has to be since it's been on for so long. This is what the folks across the pond were looking at while we were enjoying the Twilight Zone.

Back in the 1980's there was talk that they were going to have a cartoon version. The Nelyana cartoon never happened. Here's some choice selections from the concept art. Rest are here. The first one's not bad. We've got what looks like an aged Tom Baker, there's K-9 and some Daleks.





Those all look pretty silly. I mean, they really do look a bit odd. Sort of Mobius. But let's not focus on the past. let's take a look to the future, this is, after all a time travel show. Am I right?

So who are the new players for this upcoming season?



Karen Gillan - Amy Pond

A fine young redheaded... hot... police woman dressed girl who first meets the Doctor as a child when he crash lands into her garden. She and her boyfriend (good ones always taken) join the Doctor on his adventures when she's all grown up.

The redesigned TARDIS



Looking a bit bright blue and plasticy and ENORMOUS but still an indication of the series going old school with the return of classic design elements such as the white window frames and the St John's Ambulance sticker from the Hartnell days. The inside, like I already mentioned being more Steam Punk, will also have a science lab in it. I wonder if we'll get to see the wardrobe room.

What are we looking forward to in terms of story? Well, we have Steven Moffat as the head writer now. You may remember him as the writer of such awesome episodes as The Library and Blink.



So here's what we're expecting in terms of episodes.

Episode 1 -"The Eleventh Hour" -Written by Steven Moffat: The new Doctor episode.
Involves: Young 1996 Amy Pond, Grown up 2010 PC Amy Pond, Present day Earth, exploding sonic screwdrivers, duck ponds lacking ducks, Barney and his shapeshifting dog.

#2 "???" - Steven Moffat: The Monks episode.
Involves: Monks with keys. Possibly mostly set inside the TARDIS, possibly Earth based.



#3 "???" - Mark Gatiss: WW2 of the Daaaaaaaaaaaa...leks! episode.
Involves: Winston Churchill, "WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF TEA?", Power of the Daleks remake but with redesign Daleks

#4 "The Time of Angels" - Steven Moffat: Super Moffat recycling station two-parter.

#5 "Flesh and Stone" - Steven Moffat
Involves: Returns of River Song, Sally Sparrow's boyfriend and the Weeping Angels. Lots of soldiers, a crashed spaceship called the Byzantium, treks through the forest, and strange underground ruins. Likely not Earth.



#6 "Vampires of Venice" - Toby Whithouse: Vampire episodes.
Involves: Amy's boyfriend Rory joins the TARDIS CREW, Pointy teeth, vampire brides, fancy swordsmen, Earth based but in Croatia and not London

#7 "???" - Gareth Roberts: ???
Involves: ???

#8 "The ground beneath their feet" - Chris Chibnall: Supposed Silurian two-parter.



#9 "Cold Blood" - Chris Chibnall: part Two
Involves: Silurians probably or similar reptiles, set in a post global-warming devastation future Earth.

#10 "Vincent and the Doctor" - Richard Curtis: Van Gogh episode.
Involves: Dreadful ear jokes, historical Dutch celebrity artists, 1880s Earth, yellow monsters.



#11 "???" - Simon Nye: ???
Involves: ???

#12 "???" - Steven Moffat: Cybermen two-parter.
#13 "???" - Steven Moffat: Part two.
Involves: Mondas Cybermen, hopefully. Probably not.



See, now I completely ruined it for you. I must have gone into the future and picked out all those story lines, but since I don't know any of the details, neither do you, I guess we'll be okay in watching them and enjoy as we come along to them once a week. Is that alright with you?

There's also talks that after this first season, Neil Gaiman is potentially going to write an episode for the 2011 season of Doctor Who.



On a final note.. It looks like our latest Doctor had some problems with the law.

Matt Smith, the latest actor to play Doctor Who in the BBC series, was stopped at Heathrow airport for taking a sonic screwdriver through security. The 27-year-old actor was stopped as he passed through a security scanner before a flight to Belfast.

Officials pulled the new timelord to one side, believing the gadget to be a weapon, according to The Sun.

A source told the newspaper: "Matt's a huge fan of the screwdriver so didn't think anything of carrying it with him on the plane. It's basically just a fake prop and doesn't exactly do much.

"But going through the X-ray scanner it probably looks like a weapon, albeit something you'd see in Star Wars.

"Matt was very polite and explained what the screwdriver was. But the guards just looked puzzled. Fortunately he had some Doctor Who promo material on him so was able to show them who he was.

"Once the penny dropped and they had a proper look at the screwdriver, they let him through."

It was revealed yesterday that Smith has already broken four sonic screwdrivers while getting to grips with his new role.

The new timelord told the Radio Times he keeps the tools – most commonly used in the series for unlocking doors – with him all the time for extra practice.

He admitted: ''I've broken four of them ... I like to have it about my person at all times, just twirling it around and flicking it. It's all part of the magic, isn't it?''

Ha ha, that's pretty funny when you think about it. Really though, a guard at Heathrow didn't know about Doctor Who? Come on.. you're joking, right? I'm just wondering why Smith didn't just tell them to call UNIT? Maybe they remembered Time-Flight or remembered what happened the last time he called UNIT.

So, as a huge nerd, I'm anticipating this weekend. Not for any coming of Christ, but for the coming of new Doctor Who!