It's El Dia De Los Muertos, Charlie Brown

It's El Dia De Los Muertos, Charlie Brown

Halloween may have come and gone but that just means that the better of the Holidays is here and ready to be enjoyed to its fullest. Day of the Dead.



So what is this crazy Mexican dead person Christmas all about? Well, honoring friends and family who have passed on. The idea was that on this all souls day, a tradition that goes back all the way to the indigenous people of the Americas such as the Aztec, Maya, Purepecha, Totonac and so forth. Then when the Spanish Conquistadors arrived in America in the 15th century they were freaked out by these pagan festivitie and since Catholicism always tries to swallow up a ritual, the month long celebration of the dead that the natives carried out were then condensed down to two days by the conquerors and the creation of All Saints Day and All Souls Day occurred.

Oddly enough, now that the Spanish and Latin blood is all jumbled together, the celebrations seem to have a sort of mixture of the two cultures. Dia De Los Muertos seems to go on for the 9 days leading up to All Souls Day, November 2nd on the Calendar. As you can see, us Latins sure like to party long after your Halloween hangover is gone.



Part of the festivities is to honor your ancestors by leaving offerings of food and treats out. The building of alters are done so in a hope that they will come and visit as it is the belief that on all souls day/Dia De Los Muertos, the dead walk among the living. Oddly enough this belief isn't specific only to Latin cultures. In ancient Celtic celebrated their own holiday like this called Samhain. In which the souls of the dead wander on October 31st - November 1st and was their New Years celebration as the departed moved on to the next world.

But going back to the Day of the Dead celebrations in Spanish culture. One of the most common things you'll see is people wearing make up to look like the walking dead/skeletons roaming the earth. This again goes back to the idea that your loved ones walk the earth on this day. Only decomposition may have kicked in and thus, to blend in, and much like the whole notion of dressing up for Halloween, it's another melting pot outcome.



The notion is that they'll be walking the earth and to make them feel at home, you gotta hide your face in a layer of caked on white powder. Sure, why not. And speaking of skulls, one thing you can often find is Sugar Skulls. These are little skulls that are made entirely of diabetes inducing levels of sugar and are decorated with the names of the person you're remembering. Though you can put the names of folks still alive on it without any problem.

Pan de Muerto is a sweatend soft bread that looks like a huge bun. You can also put the faces/names of those who you are celebrating the life/death of it and they're easy to come by leading up to Dia De Los Muertos.

Another important food item for the day is Chocolate. In ancient Mexico they used to use Cacao beans as currency and they would bury someone with a couple of beans on their persons so that they would have a little spending cash in the afterlife. So it should come to no surprise that Day of the Dead uses Chocolate drinks as a big part of it.



If drinks filled with alcohol are more your style in remembering the dead, then Los Angeles has you covered. Las Perlas has a special Los Muertos drink that would be perfect for this holiday. The drink is a blend of Espolon Reposado tequila, muddled apple, cardamom amaro, apple butter infused agave, lime juice and apple cider vinegar shrub. It's topped with an apple cider foam and a swirl of black strap molasses.

Or you could hit up the hipster centric area and go to The Thirsty Crow has the "Jack Skellington", a pumpkin, sapling Vermont maple liqueur, St. Elizabeth Allspice Dram with a graham cracker crust rim. Which I guess will go great between now and Christmas if you're into the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Well, no matter how you celebrate it or if you go to any festivities such as the one for Self Help Graphics, Day of the Dead is one of those holidays that has a significant meaning for me and always will. So as much as it sucked for me to drop and break my first sugar skull a couple of weeks back, I'm looking positive towards the day and festivities!

Feliz Dia De Los Muertos.

Feliz dia de los muertos.

Feliz dia de los muertos.

It's day of the dead, or as Venture Brothers put it, "that crazy dead people Christmas Mexicans celebrate". Yes, it is dead people Christmas us Mexicans celebrate. We do some wacky things to graves. Like putting photos of the loved one out there as well as food they enjoyed eating. It's all to honor the departed loved ones and keep their memory alive.

It's all part of the Halloween festivities. What with Halloween being All Saints Day (Hallow = Holy) and the following day being All Souls Day. Meaning all the people who died. It was the church's way to try to kill that Pegan fall festival. Though it seems like they're getting all up in arms about everything forgetting all about their own god damn Holidays.




For example, look at this crazy person rant about the dangers of Halloween;

The word "holiday" means "holy day." But there is nothing holy about Halloween. The root word of Halloween is "hallow," which means "holy, consecrated and set apart for service." If this holiday is hallowed, whose service is it set apart for? The answer to that question is very easy—Lucifer's!

First off, God doesn't exist. Therefore any argument appealing to religion is null and void. At least in my eyes. Besides, what's so harmful about dressing up as a mummy and eating candy? There are so many issues where kids are blissfully unaware and happy, but parents are extremely concerned for the safety and eternal standing of their children.



I may openly mock Halloween costumes (see future Disney Princess blog), but it's still just fun for the kids in the end. It's not like they're going out and conducting pagan rituals that would be potentially crossing the line of ethics or moral lessons. Yes, you're asking for kids to live in a socialist world and redistribute the candy free of charge, but then again, maybe that will mean the future grown ups would be willing to actually pass such socialist programs like Universal Health Care.

I mean, Halloween is a catholic church approved day.. well at least try attempted to make it one. All Hallow's Eve, with "hallo" referring to a ghost or spirit. Holy Spirit. Because November 1st is All Saints day. Get it? But hey, that doesn't allow one to get irrationally angry at a kid's holiday, so we might as well go and ignore that.

Every year there's some people who get all riled about Halloween. Like that documentary Hell House, about a church group creating a scary "haunted house" about sinner and going to hell. Yeah, the whole scared straight stuff has worked in the past, right.



Could Halloween just be a day where kids put on costumes and go door to door to get some candy? Oh absolutely not, by dressing up as The Little Mermaid or Spiderman obviously means you're worshiping satan! Though on a future topic, dressing up as the little mermaid may make you feel like you should change for a man and lose your voice to "get" him.

And then there's this fear that Wicca and Pagan followers will be sacrificing babies and making it dangerous for your children to be out. What the hell? Serious? I think Pagans have a busy schedule of taking off their clothing and worshiping whatever crazy gods they want to as well as doing that retrospective look at those who died in the past year(s). It's like claiming crazy church goers are going to go out and eat atheist children on Sunday morning.

Here's a tip, the people who are most prone to taking their clothes off and dancing in the moonlight are rarely the sort of people you want to see taking their clothes of and dancing in the moonlight. Unless, of course, you like 'em large and in charge.



But again, these church going people are the same types of people who think the spells in Harry Potter are real. They are mentally deficient and should be treated as such. They should also be sent to Texas.

If it wasn't for Halloween how will the kids learn that humanity is full of bastards and charlatans if not from the scum who give out black and red waxy paper wrapped peanut cement chews? Not top mention what motivation will the children have to dress up like sluts and drink themselves retarded if they aren't trying to bury the regret that they're no longer of the age to dress as a beloved cartoon character and beg perfect strangers for candy? Oh wait, that's for the older crowds who no longer care about God.

I don't know how they did it, but they (who, anyway? beer companies?) turned another holiday into another Amateur Drinking Festival. In a few more years Washington and Lincoln will be hoisting big glass boots of beer for the big President's Day Drunk-a-thon. This is why, while I like Halloween, I do think the meaning is pretty much lost, or at least altered from the years, but it certainly hasn't altered to a satanist worshiping holiday.

That's why I like celebrating The Day of the Dead, where we actually make alters and food, have retrospective memories for imaginary skeleton ghost, now that's pagan as fuck, but it's still approved by the Catholic Church because if it wasn't, Mexicans would burn the whole pueblo down.

So hey, forget Halloween altogether. Not because it'll lead you to eating something that will make you sick, or because it's satanic but because dia de los muertos is a whole lot better of a holiday.

Conversations With The Dead: Asking My Ouija Board Things For You

Conversations With The Dead: Asking My Ouija Board Things For You

So here's the deal. It's not really an Ouija Board. More accurately, a Buffy marketing tie in product. While it's not a Hellboy Talking Ouija Board, I'm sure it'll be just as good in conversing with the dead. Without the need of pulling the person out of heaven, I can only imagine that this form of communicating with the dead will avoid said spirit from being bitchy for a half of season.


Reach out and touch the dead

While I have this party line to the afterlife I might as well put it to good use and get some answers! So if you readers want you can send in your questions for all those spooky spirits. Who knows what will answer your call. Be it a ghost from your past or just the cast of one of Joss Whedon's canceled projects? One can only guess. So send your questions to me and I'll answer them

My only rule is this: Silly/Mundane questions only. I don't want to be responsible for any perceived spookiness or bad decisions. Whatever the spirits tell you in this are not my responsibility. So nothing like, "Do I have cancer?" or "When will I die?" or "Should I dump my girlfriend?" and most of all not "Should I go on that chainsaw killing spree I've been heavily considering?"

NONE OF THOSE! Since I don't have your e-mails, I've taken the liberty of getting request from various people on instant messenger. By request, I mean I bugged random strangers and they were so confused that I didn't ask for A/S/L that they were curious as to what I was selling. So I present to you some questions to the dead! Let the power of a board game compel you!

BOLD are questions, NORMAL is answers and Red is my little snide comments on them.

What do I smell like?

A: THINGS

Am I eternally cursed for using my old Ouija board as a doormat?

A: NO

What will I name my first child?

A: OHNSEAEA

The real question is how will you say it and will it look good with "Palin" behind it?

Who will be the first celebrity to die in 2009?

A: JOJSAG

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

A: 915

Oh Buffy Talking Board, can you tell me if I will ever find true happiness?

A: WITH FIRE

I'm thinking this means it's time for a BBQ!

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A: MUCH TASTEGOOD

What's the deal with corn nuts? I mean is it corn or is it a nut?

A: BOTH

Where does the tomb of Alexander the Great lie?

A: MEMPHIS

What happens when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object?

A: NOTHING

Ok, at this point I'm starting to get a little creeped out. Not from the board, but from the random internet conversations...

Given the legal troubles it is in, will the Watchmen movie be released on March 9th, 2009 as scheduled?

A: EXCITING.

I'm not sure what that means but I suppose it goes to show that the forces at work are looking forward to the film

Who wrote the book of love?

A: MAN

Where have all the cowboys gone?

A: DOWN

The spirit must have seen too much Broke Back Mountain

Why do fools fall in love?

A: SILLY

Who's going to win the Super Bowl this year?

A: RED

God damn it, 40-1 odds for the Cardinals... I should have placed that bet in Vegas.

What do snozberries taste like?

A: GRASS

Well, that makes sense. I figured they just tasted like snozberries.

If I get that screenplay written by March, will it sell by December?

A: NO

Looks like you're stuck waiting tables for a while there, buddy.

Is there an afterlife?

A: BETWEEN

Ok.. that was kind of creepy. Not the aim conversation but the answer.

Will I lose 25 pounds this year?

A: 23

God damn you afterlife people, I know how much torture it is to try to lose that last few pounds!

Is Papa Smurf a pedophile?

A: NO

Good to know my childhood isn't tainted.

Should I ask her out?

A: YES

Awwww, that's sweet. It's always nice to know that your dating life is approved by the dead.

Ok, I'll leave it on a high note. I don't want the demons to consume my soul. Then again, that's not much of a threat since the thing is called CONVERSATIONS and not DEMONS EAT YOUR FUCKIN' SOUL! or anything like that. Keep those questions coming folks. I'm tired of using AIM to get questions from random people. SO SEND ME YOUR QUESTIONS... FOR THE DEAD!

Dawn Of The Dead

Dawn Of The Dead



Dia De Los Muertos is the day after Halloween. So while all you ghouls and ghost are trick or treating and you "sexy ______" costume wearers are feeding a hangover you'll be nursing, us Mexicans are preparing our menudo and getting ready to go to the next celebration, Day of the Dead



The idea of the day is that the dead come back to wander the earth for one day. While everyone is wearing costumes and has their face painted up as skeletons and other such things, the dead slip on by without being noticed to just chill. To appease them, family members build a shrine in their honor as well as leave out their favorite meal and other trinkets that remind them of the dead. It's a celebration of life, as morbid as it may sound on paper and it's a festive holiday that I rather enjoy for my own reasons.

Those may include such instances were I love skeletons, sugar skulls and the celebration of loved ones who have passed. Old memories and new ones made. In all, it's a time where you can dress up like the dead in a non-sexy manner. The Hollywood Forever Cemetery does it all in style. A good place to really soak in the culture of it all. Since I really don't want to type anymore, here's a lot of pictures so you get some idea of what this is like








Utterly awe inspiring to have a cemetery turn into a shrine for the dead.. Oh wait, that's what it is normally. Hey, it's just bringing some life to the joint, is all.


Disney is jumping in on the Dead wagon and are commemorating the holiday with displays of skeletons and flowers on day of the dead alters near the Rancho Del Zocalo Restaurante in Frontierland. Guest can get their spirit on by getting their face painted. They even went so far as to offer something for those hardcore Disney zombies, the button collectors by giving them a special button to try to capture.



In all, it's really interesting that it's getting more media attention. Then again, we are in Southern California. With a large Spanish population, it would be hard to remain silent to the mass population of SoCal residents. Here's more pictures in light of me just not wanting to type more content.






If that's not awesome at the same time being terrifying to any child within reach, well, I don't know what is. Good job Disney. Way to get on the ball. If I said we mounr the dead on this day, I'll have to correct myself. This day isn't so much about mourning the dead as it is celebrating with them. When we go out and party, drink up, eat up and take part of these festivities, those loved ones are with us. Enjoying the good times together. With that I'll leave you with quote.. but don't worry, I'll be coming back from the dead.

“Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
Mark Twain