Dating In L.A! Nobody Dates In L.A!

Dating In L.A! Nobody Dates In L.A!

Ok, so that's suppose to be a comical take on the Missing Persons song.. you know.. oh.. fine. Fuck off. Everyone's a critic, it's no wonder that it's so difficult to find a date around here. Oh, not for me. I'm in a very happy and serious relationship right now. Which is a good thing considering it's the Holiday season.

Do you know how lonely and depressing this time of year can be for those singles? Oh, I don't need to tell you, imaginary blog reader who I'm pretending to talk to, I've been there. Trust me, it will get better. But let's for a second take a look at WHY you're not in a relationship right now, you know, why you're not being defined as a couple and all your self worth is boiled down to the happiness of your significant other and yourself and the number of fights you have had in the last hour alone.... It's because L.A. Sucks for dating! At least that's according to the Huffington Post. And I trust that news source since I seem to be writing about their news articles a lot lately...

Little known fact: I went to high school in Los Angeles, so I'm kind of from Los Angeles. So when I found myself back in LA after a long hiatus, it was a bit of a homecoming. I looked forward to perpetually sunny climes, rollerblading on the boardwalk, and the general openness of the people. The perceived abundance of friendly, fit women didn’t hurt either.

However, the quality of my love life was worse than it had been in any other city. For the first two years, I just assumed I had suddenly gotten ugly and stupid. Then I heard multitudes of other people voicing similar experiences.

Well let's be honest and superficial here. You're sort of in a whole new level of looks when you come to Los Angeles because this is where the cream of the crop rises to the top. It's like being a big shot in your high school football team and then stepping into the major leagues. It's going to be tougher competition in terms of your looks. I'm not even going to talk about the "falseness" because it's not even that, it's just a matter that you're in a whole new ball game here. Let it just be known that water does seek its own level. So what are then reasons that L.A. sucks for dating?;

Los Angeles is a particularly tough city to be single in – perhaps the toughest in the US. Here are one man’s observations on the challenges of socializing and dating in LA:

1. According to the Singles Map, the sex ratio in LA sucks.

Anthropologists have noticed a statistic that correlates nicely with the social and sexual permissiveness of a population. It’s called the sex ratio – the number of men for every 100 women. In places where the sex ratio is low (i.e. excess of women over men), social mores are relaxed, women go out a lot, and everyone has a ball. Where the sex ratio is high (i.e. excess of men), people go out less and attitudes are more conservative. No one knows exactly why this is, but it makes sense.

This correlation tracks in large populations (e.g. whole countries like Russia) and smaller ones (e.g. cities, towns and university campuses). According to the latest singles map from the 2006 US Census, New York has a 211,000 surplus of single women over single men, while LA has 89,000 more single men than women. Accordingly, dating in New York City is fun, while dating in Los Angeles sucks. This statistic alone may be the single biggest cause of the lackluster love lives of singles in LA.

So... this is the opposite of a sausage fest. In fact, it's a.. um.. I don't know what to call an influx of vagina. A pussy Galore? This is a good excuse for a man who is saying why he can't find a good girl. This is the exact opposite for women. There's really no excuse as to why you aren't finding a good guy, a claim that has been around for a long time now. It's simply too common that there's way too many women to men. So you should have yourself a buffet choice when it comes to finding a guy.

In fact, I'm going to call bullshit on this whole "can't find a guy" crap. If the ratio is true, then there's plenty of fishes in the sea and you should be casting your net to see which one is the right one to catch. Don't buy into this soul mate bullshit. You're compatible with a lot of different who may very well share similar interest as you or at the very least you can relate to on many things. Don't give me this crap about not being able to find a guy.. you have a long list to choose from and the ball is in your court.

2. Large distances in the world’s biggest city create a real barrier to intimacy.

Let’s say you meet someone you like -- cute, fun, smart, funny. You ask where this person lives --“Silver Lake.” You live 20 miles away in Santa Monica -- and that’s not just any 20 miles. It’s 20 miles through one of the most car-jammed concrete jungles on the planet, with no efficient public transport to speak of. And your helicopter’s in the shop. Again.

20 miles is a perfectly reasonable distance to travel in the 5,000+ square miles of Los Angeles to get somewhere. Yet, it is totally unreasonable by human terms. It’s almost twice the length of Manhattan (13 miles) and enough distance to cross a couple of national borders in Europe.

Contrast this with New York City. Even though the times required to get around in NYC are comparable, the perceived effort of taking the subway or hopping in a cab is much less than driving yourself through snarls of traffic. Hence people there are much more willing to go places and meet up

Geographically undesirables. That's what I call you if you live far from me. It's a pretty accurate assessment. I'm not going to sugar coat it -if you live 40 minutes from me, I'm not going to date you. Why not? Well it's bad enough I don't have enough time (see industry excuse later in the list) but to fight traffic at peak times to see you is going to be difficult. You can't blame anyone for not wanting to do this.

This, by no means is limited to Los Angeles. I'm sure if you're in New York you're not going to want to date someone from Jersey. The distance is going to eat up the amount of free time you have. But then you always have those exceptions. I may sound like a completely gross person here but come on, you've read my point of view on other things, this should come as no surprise.

There's a deciding factor when coming up with how far you are willing to go for a date. It's a very simple graph that maps out how hot the person is compared to how far they are. The average girl who is 10 minutes away is much more desired than the average girl who is 20 minutes away. Then again, the average girl who is 10 minutes away can be less than the hotter girl that is 20 minutes away. Get what I'm saying here?

Besides that, who wants to drive 40 minutes before even starting the date. You're going to have a long commute back and that amount of time does leave you with a lot of time to analyze the date. Which can be a bad thing.

3. Lack of pedestrian culture reduces opportunities for casual contact.

Whenever I visit Boston, New York or London, I bump into friends – on the sidewalk, on the subway, in the parks. This casual, unforced, unpremeditated contact is the cornerstone of building social relations. That’s why our closest friends tend to come from work and school.

That casual contact is missing in LA, because we spend a lot of time in our wheeled steel cages. As as in the song by Missing Persons, “Nobody walks in LA.” And if you want to meet someone again, you have to coordinate busy schedules, make a one-on-one date and travel (see #2) – a higher-stakes proposition than bumping into someone and grabbing an apropos drink. The higher energy required for making a date means that it happens less often.

I'm a little on the fence on this one. I guess maybe growing up in Los Angeles really made it a lack of human contact. I remember living in the south and having people start up conversations with me in the line at the market or while waiting for food at the fried chicken joint, But I can't ever really remember striking up a conversation in L.A. So maybe I'm just tainted meat here, but opening up a conversation with someone on the street may be a little strange to me.

I don't know how to whistle. I never learned how and I don't think I can physically do the act of it. So while it's not going to work as a pick up line anyway, I don't think that being able to get someone's attention on the street would have been all that helpful.

But most of all, I'm not optimistic about this one because my girlfriend and I were at a lot of the same events through the years, only we didn't ever cross each others path at any point. If this theory that more walking areas is good, then in Los Angeles, those rare exceptions when we were at the same social events, we should have in theory met each other. This just proves that even with being in close location with someone who is relationship potential, being on your feet isn't much help.

4. Transportation challenges make even the best-intentioned people flaky.

Traffic in LA is unpredictable; as a result, even the best-intentioned people end up being late more often than they wish.

Here’s the psychology of what I think happens: once you’ve been late or missed an appointment for reasons beyond your control, your brain has to make a choice: “I’m flaky so I’m a bad person” vs. “Flakiness is okay.” To avoid cognitive dissonance, the unconscious choice that most people make is to validate the unintended bad behavior.

Showing up late, not showing up at all and breaking promises can then become the norm. When that happens enough times to enough people, you end up in a legendarily flaky city, and social and dating life encounter more obstacles.

Los Angeles is often called the place with fruits, nuts and flakes. This is exactly why. The whole urban sprawl that Los Angeles means that you will be traveling some place unless you don't want to discover new places. I know people who have never been to locations that are more than 40 minutes drive away their whole life because it just isn't convenient enough.

I ended up being late on a lot of dates. Why? Because as much as you'd like to think that you left early enough.. you clearly haven't. Traffic is awful. If there's one thing I can pass on to the average person reading this is to don't hold it against the other person. As long as you're in communication and they're on the way, consider it on.

But this also plays into another good observation, those without a car are not going to be able to meet others very easy or at all. How could you, really? It's not like you can get out there into the city night life. Most subways stop fairly early in the evening and the bus system comes to a crawl. Not to mention how far you need to get out of your own area, it's virtually impossible to be in L.A. without a car without suffering some major negative effects.

5. The transience of the city’s entertainment culture adds an aura of impermanence and unreliability to social ties.

A lot of people come to LA to make it in the entertainment industry, which is a fleeting, fickle creature. Is it too far fetched to see that fickleness permeating all the way down to the participants in that industry and their social bonds?

A peculiar energy permeates a town when so many people are trying to advance an ego-based agenda – my role, my song, my script – which may not be the most conducive energy for building meaningful, lasting relationships.

I'm not sure how much this plays into it. When you break down all the egos here anyway, you'll eventually find someone who you can see eye to eye with. Even if it's superficial, you're going to connect with someone who is your interest. Again, water seeks its own level. This desired location effect should actually help you in the long run.

When you're looking for a specific car is it better to go to a car lot that is on its own or is it better to go to one that is in the new/used car dealership part of town? I would imagine that the influx of people desiring to come to Los Angeles would help as it creates a whole lot more potentials to pop up. You'd rather have more choices than less, wouldn't you?

6. Dating people in the entertainment industry is fraught with unique challenges.

I’ve already written another article about dating actors, so I’ll make this brief: dating people with uncertain finances, erratic schedules and fragile egos is a challenge requiring saintlier patience than most people possess.

As someone who works in the entertainment industry I can honestly say that I think this is a big one. My work schedule is often filled with 18 hour days, 7 days a week with very early call times. I'm not the easiest person to work around in terms of work schedule. But if you're going to attempt to be in a relationship with someone in the industry you're going to have to deal with this.

I'm very fortunate now. I have had a lot of relationships end because they couldn't deal with my schedule of working when the average person would have off. My long hours have always been an issue and well, it did lead me to believe that I will be alone.. or at least not have the average relationship because of this. But now I'm with someone who, while it's not the most ideal situation, they haven't complained once... well, other than me waking up at the butt crack of dawn to get to work.

Still, I'm sure this is just one of those that if they're in any line of business that is unusual in the work load, it'll be an issue. You can replace the film/tv industry here with being a police officer, firefighter, coal miner and well.. anything. Let's face it, not everyone has a 9 to 5.

7. Nightlife shuts down at 1am and you have to drive your own butt home afterwards.

Last call being 2am in Los Angeles, most establishments start kicking you out at 1am. So just when things have started to get interesting, the party shuts down. In cities like Berlin, New York, London, Barcelona and Paris, people often start going out at 1am, and the social life is correspondingly more raucous.

Lack of public transport also means that people stay sober enough to drive back home. As a result, the social lubricant effects of alcohol don't operate in the same way as in a city with public transport.

Mathematically stated, less party time + less imbibing of adult beverages = less fun. This, plus the other six aforementioned factors, may very well make LA the toughest big city in the US to be single in.

This is the biggest death knell to everything about night life in Los Angeles. I'm not even talking about getting a date or hooking up, the fact that bars close at 2 mean that your night ends before it even has a chance to get started considering most people don't get out the door till about 10pm any way.

When I travel and I realize there's no last call or people start going out later and later, I threive on it. If I'm in New York, I'm not sleeping, much like that Beastie Boys song, I'm not sleeping till Brooklyn.. or for that matter, while in Brooklyn. If I'm overseas, I'm def. not even getting out the door till about midnight anyway.



Last call at 2 am in L.A. really does mean that your night ends before it ever really got a chance to get started. Then because of the past mentioned lack of public transportation and the dismal use of taxi's here, people are staying sober so that they can make it home in one piece and without a DUI. So that social lubricant is tossed out the window.

It really is just a matter of having less party time and less availability to get around without you behind the wheel that ruins all those possible big mistakes you'll have with the average person of opposite sex.

But in all, it's a combined force of all these things that create road blocks and make it a bit more difficult to meet other singles in Los Angeles more than anywhere else. But you can't take away to the bigger issues. Unrealistic expectations.

Most of the guys in L.A. see themselves with a supermodel and most women see themselves with a hottie tycoon living that entourage lifestyle. It happens because when you're surrounded by so many attractive industry types, the number of extraordinarily attractive people vs average or unattractive is unusual and compounds the issues laid out in the article. With so many attractive folks around, having an attractive partner is percieved as realistically attainable for everyone. Those of us on the average end of things get ignored (even by other people at the average end of the spectrum).

Whenever I visit friends in other cities I get hit on consistently. I'm considered attractive there. Women elsewhere see the movie-star looks on tv/big screens/magazines etc, but they don't see it every day on the street. And to think, I thought my lack of dates growing up was all due to me being a complete and utter nerd. Whoops. Looks like all I had to do was go to school in a location that wasn't Los Angeles. Either that or I have someone else to blame for my total lack of social skills.

Truth be told, it's not just Arianna's little corner of the blog-o-sphere that is doing social commentary on why L.A. sucks for dating, L.A. Weekly took a jab at it themselves.

10. You've got to have a J-O-B to be with me. More than one out of ten people have no J-O-B in L.A. It's a real Debbie Downer, especially when the dinner check comes.

9. While there might be more single men than women in town, most Hollywood hot-spots let in like 10 women for every one spiky-haired douche paying for bottle service. Good for that one guy (maybe, if his parents don't mind the credit-card charges), bad for the rest.

8. Cougars. This is the cougar capital of the world. (Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa should add that to his boasts about L.A.). We know cougars who have two and three boyfriends. Actually, that's a good thing. Helps even out the ratio.

7. White guys and Asian girls. There are other kinds of people in the world. Both you two, break it up.

6. Sensitive metrosexuals. Get over yourself and pull the trigger, or get out of the way.

5. Wilmer Valderrama and Seth MacFarlane. If they only dated each other it would open doors for a whole generation of single men in Hollywood.

4. Gay people. They're partying like it's 1979, and breeders aren't invited.

3. Mayor Villaraigosa has dibs on all the hot female television reporters.

2. Medical marijuana dispensaries on every corner. People who are stoned want to hook up, too -- for sure. They dream about it. They have great, burning desire. Then they take another toke from a three-foot bong and slink into their friend's stinky couch before passing out.

1. There's no place to park.

It's a more satirical take on the subject. None of them are really on top of it all. I mean, I was cocked blocked by the Mayor once.. but that girl just had some strange obsession over him anyway.



Even with all these reasons why L.A is hard on singles, it's still a whole lot better than in the UK where that Holiday pudginess you gained will get you tossed off a dating website.

Dating and social network site BeautifulPeople.com has axed some 5,000 members following complaints that they had gained weight.

The members were singled out after posting pictures of themselves that reportedly showed they had put on pounds over the holiday period.

The site allows entry to new members only if existing members vote them as sufficiently attractive to warrant it.

The US, the UK, and Canada topped the list of excluded members.

The site has always been unrepentant about its selection process, calling itself "the largest network of attractive people in the world".

The move was reportedly prompted by members themselves, who police the membership of the site to maintain a high - if highly subjective - standard of attractiveness.

"As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld," said site founder Robert Hintze.

"Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded."

You see that right there is the free market speaking. Best of all he said "Fatties" in an official statement. Now that's comical.

I did check out the site for the sake of this article and surprise surprise, it's all botox and fake tans. I don't think I would want to join that dating site anyway. I mean, it's not like it's something to brag about to be on a dating site.. right? Just look at match.com and eHarmony... or the other choices;



And don't give me this bullshit about people using dating sites.. Actual beautiful people don't just go outside to bars and other social gatherings and get dates, that's not how it's done any more. The idea that there isn't beautiful people resorting to online dating is archaic considering the modern day amount of busy work people are doing just to keep their jobs.

The opinion that there's no beautiful people on the internet is like, 7 years ago. Online dating is pretty much mainstream now. So sorry for your lack of social awareness to people attempting to find others via other means since there's already a lot of grief involved in finding a date in L.A as the previous articles have stated.



Even though this website will toss you off it if you've gained weight, I suppose it's still better than that sugardaddy.com dating website. I mean, dating in L.A. is bad, but not bad enough that you should have to resort to going to THAT website.

Either way, chin up folks. If I found what I consider an amazing gal, there's no reason why you can't find someone who you can relate to and be somewhat serious or not-to-serious with. Best of luck to you.

You Got 99 Problems, Don't Let Your Guy Be One

You Got 99 Problems, Don't Let Your Guy Be One

I'm going to say it right now. This post is not for everyone. It seriously addresses some of those issues that aren't very pretty to address. It's the seven ton elephant that gets beaten in the room. Today's topic is all about abuse. You seriously shouldn't have to deal with any form of abuse.

It may be easy to say and not so easy to do, but if you're ever in an abusive relationship, just get the fuck out. Seriously. Don't wait. Things aren't going to change and you aren't going to change someone nor should you ever try to. The old saying of "He's just not into you" couldn't be more truer. If you ever are faced with abuse or even a situation that is not kosher with you, do yourself a favor and just leave!

In saying that, let's get it on! I'm going to just start off with a dozy.

Man attack ex to get his tits back

VICTORVILLE, Calif., Jan 29, 2009 (UPI via COMTEX) -- A 28-year-old man who stands accused of brutally attacking his former girlfriend in Hesperia, Calif., was after her breast implants, another man alleges.

Dennis McGill testified Tuesday his former roommate,Thomas Lee Rowley, admitted he wanted to steal the breast implants he gave his former girlfriend, Shanon Perry, the Victorville (Calif.) Daily Press said.

"I'm gonna cut 'em out and get 'em back", McGill said in court, allegedly quoting Rowley.

Deputy District Attorney David Foy of San Bernardino County has accused Rowley of ambushing Perry on July 25, 2006, outside her mother's home

Rowley allegedly stabbed Perry six times in her head and torso during the attack.

The attack also resulted in Perry's breast implants, which Rowley reportedly paid for, being damaged. Perry's current medical condition was not reported, but she is expected to testify during the trial.

The Daily Press said in addition to attempted murder charges, Rowley stands accused of false imprisonment, stalking, burglary and assault with a deadly weapon.

Holy shit. What the fuck is wrong with the world? I know I haven't done my "God Damn It America" segment for the month but I'm just going to save that golden goose for the end of the month so I'm not limited on what I can say God damn to.


Don't buy your mate inflatable life rafts

I simply have to add, why the fuck is anyone buying anyone else fake breast? Here's some advice: If you don't like the size of the tits on the person you are with, find someone else. This goes for women as well. Don't like the size of the guy you're with? Is he packing too much pudginess in his gut? Leave! Do not try to change them.

If your girlfriend is asking for you to buy them fake tits... Leave. Just leave. She'll be cheating on you before those inflated puppies heal from the operation. You may be paying for them but they'll just be having fun with others. It's like getting a new paint job to your car before it sells itself to someone else. Regardless, it's changing someone's "imperfections" that you find in them. Why settle for that? There's plenty of fish in the sea and you shouldn't have to change someone to be with them. Accept them for who they are and what they come with. Let them change themselves.


If you want big boobs, don't buy them!

I don't get this idea. Do guys think that they're just not good enough to attract others that they need a blank slate, someone willing to be made in their personal preference? I simply just don't get it. Just stop it, people! If you need to change something of someone else, don't bother. Let them change themselves on their own dime and most of all, on their own accord. I think I'm a little overweight right now. At the very least I'm not in great shape. But that's something I want to change about myself and I will do so on my own terms. If the person I was dating told me I needed to lose a little weight or that I needed to gain weight, I wouldn't look at it very kindly.

And you women aren't getting off easy on this. Speaking generally, women love fix-er-uppers. You gals love to watch shows like trading spaces, extreme make over, queer eye for the straight guy, flip this house, etc. You love finding diamonds in the rough. You love making that Prince from a popper. Only it doesn't work like that. People just don't change because you want them to. It doesn't work out that way. Love them the way they are and if you can't put up with something they do that bugs you, LEAVE!


Talk about fake breast!

Let me tell you as a guy, we're fucking crazy. Yeah. Don't think it's just you women who are batshit insane. You may be a little wonky for a week out of the month. Us guys aren't immune to that sort of shit.

Like this man who keeps trying to cut off his own penis.

MONROE — A convicted murderer at the Washington state prison complex in Monroe was hospitalized after his second attempt to cut off his penis.

A spokeswoman for the Monroe Correctional Complex, Cathy Kopoian, says the 49-year-old inmate has a history of mental illness and already had amputated much of his genitalia several years ago.

Corrections Department spokesman Chad Lewis identified the inmate as John Forrester.

Forrester apparently used a razor blade to cut off what remained on Thursday. Kopoian tells The Herald in Everett that he was taken to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle with serious cuts to the groin. His condition was not immediately available Thursday night.

Kopoian says prisoners are permitted basic necessities — including razors — under state law.

Kopoian says Forrester was convicted on July 1, 1977, for aggravated first-degree murder and was sentenced to life without parole.

Yeah.. talk about fucking crazy. That guy has alot of balls cutting off his own dick. Then again, he doesn't have much of anything else now, does he? Reasons are for pussies. Maybe it's just a bunch of alcohol that's causing this sort of crazed epidemic. Speaking of drunken mad men;

They found him walking along the freeway
all red in
front
he had taken a rusty tin can
and cut off his sexual
machinery
as if to say --
see what you've done to
me? you might as well have the
rest.

and he put part of him
in one pocket and
part of him in
another
and that's how they found him,
walking
along.

they gave him over to the
doctors
who tried to sew the parts
back
on
but the parts were
quite contented
the way they
were.

I think sometimes of all of the good
ass
turned over to the
monsters of the
world.

maybe it was his protest against
this or
his protest
against
everything.

a one man
Freedom March
that never squeezed in
between
the concert reviews and the
baseball
scores.

God, or somebody,
bless
him.

~Charles Bukowski - "true story"

Then there's the cases were guys are just bat shit insane without the poetic-ness that made Bukowski the well versed character he was... like this situation where a Tarzana stripper was doused and set and on fire.

Having been on fire and has the leg scars to prove it, it's not pleasant. I woke up in cold sweats after the fire because of the amount of pain it caused. Shit, I still have a bit of pain on cold days in my leg. Thank god they captured the sick fucks behind that.

Perhaps I just don't get it because I don't get strip clubs. You pay money to see someone naked? Hey, let me go to a bar and pay them to pour the drink into the glass and have me NOT enjoy it. Yeah, I guess I'm just so full of logic that I don't get the point of it all.


I'm not sure where I found this picture or why it exist.
I figure I wont have anywhere else to use it.

Then we get to the bigger situation. The Chris Brown/Rihanna situation. I've been holding my tongue on this one for a bit of time. It's one of those sensitive topics that you really don't want to talk about. Mainly because everyone else is talking about. Like I've avoided giving that octo-mom any more attention she surely doesn't need.

So what's there to be said? Chris Brown beat the leaving shit out of Rihanna. You can read the entire police report here. Around page 8 is when you start to drop your jaw at this shit.

The cliffnotes of that is that she saw his text message from an ex and questioned it. He was having none of that and got all upset trying to kick her out of his car. She couldn't get out and sure enough, he started beating her in the car. Holy fuck, if you thought it was just a beating, the detailed report would make you sick to your stomach. Is having the last name brown strongly correlated with beating your celebrity girlfriend?


Why she goes back? I do not know..

But hey, a couple of weeks later and they're back together. Yes, that's right. They are back together now.

The pair have reunited almost three weeks after Brown, 19, allegedly battered the "Umbrella" singer on Feb. 8, a source tells PEOPLE.

"They're together again. They care for each other," says the source. The on-again couple are currently spending time together at one of Sean "Diddy" Combs's homes, on Miami Beach's Star Island.

Adds the source: "While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves."

In its latest issue, PEOPLE reports that Brown called Rihanna on her 21st birthday one week ago. "He called to wish her happy birthday," a source told the magazine. "They've reached out to each other. It's been mutual."

Brown was booked by LAPD for making criminal threats but the case has not yet been presented to the District Attorney, who will ultimately determine which charges, if any, will be prosecuted.

"but......he loves me!!"

Honestly, I'm not surprised. Women are very strongly attracted to men like this, even if they beat the shit out of them on a regular basis. It's true. Sometimes people get a sort of Stockholm syndrome when it comes to abusive relationships, but men do it too. It's just normal human bullshit.

But you get what you ask for. If Rihanna wants to go back to that abuse, she can. She's an adult and she's high-profile enough to not need society to be concerned for her safety. Especially if she's going to do something as stupid as go back to such an abusive relationship. I'm content to shrugging this one off, personally.


Oh google, you're such a card!

Rihanna is a great role model for teenage girls. Thanks to her example, they know that it's okay if your boyfriend beats you as long as you're pretty sure he loves you a bunch. Actually, teen girls don't need her help. They're already so entrenched in the mindset that domestic violence is ok that they blamed Rihanna when the original story broke.

Many teens blame Rihanna, say dating violence normal 1 in 10 teens suffer abuse in romantic relationships, and many think it's often justified.

By Megan Twohey and Bonnie Miller Rubin |Tribune reporters

February 20, 2009

Ed Loos, a junior at lake forest High School, said a common reaction among students to Chris Brown's alleged attack on Rihanna goes something like this: "Ha! She probably did something to provoke it."

In Chicago, Sullivan High School sophomore Adeola Matanmi has heard the same.

"People said, 'I would have punched her around too,' " Matanmi said. "And these were girls!"

As allegations of battery swirl around the famous couple, experts on domestic violence say the response from teenagers just a few years younger shows the desperate need to educate this age group about dating violence.

Their acceptance, or even approval, of abuse in romantic relationships is not a universal reaction. But it comes at a time when 1 in 10 teenagers has suffered such abuse and females ages 16 to 24 experience the highest rates of any age group, research shows.

In recent years, some schools and youth organizations have started educating teens about the dangers of dating violence. Rhode Island and Virginia have adopted laws requiring such instruction in the public schools.

If that shit doesn't make you shake your head and wonder what the fuck is wrong with society, I don't know what will. But I can't say this is just a female thing. You'll find that women are just as abusive as men. The difference is in the way it's carried out. Abuse towards men aren't as physical, but I'm sure you'll see a lot of beaten men. No, it's typically emotional by nature.


This joke makes itself. Fuck you internet for making it so easy

The best example of this sort of abuse is when a Women falsely accuses their boyfriend of rape or abuse. Police favor women in this situation. That glass roof may not shatter but the stereotype of the defenseless woman works in their favor when they're looked on as the victim.

How about the threats to deny custody or to take half of everything when the marriage ends. Then there's the stigma that men would be pussies or looked down on by society if they report an abusive wife. Men and women are equally prone to abuse they just go about it different ways. You can see the ratio of active, physical murders of men vs. women, compared to the passive, poisoning murders of men vs. women.

If there's one lesson I can share from experience is that you should not settle. Never put up with abuse. Keep your head low and push on through till you are truly happy. Really really happy. Don't settle for anything less. Especially if the person doesn't have the personality or the features that you want. Don't think you should just cash in your chips and be content with that, you're more than likely not going to come five years down the line.

Don't put up with abuse. No reason why anyone should have to deal with being abused. Which leads me to stop abusing you and end this blog already.