Shitty Tattoos Return

Shitty Tattoos Return

It's hard to escape it, really. I mean. I will gladly continue to open up with the tattoo question on why I don't have one. The real reason is because I'm not going to commit to one image on my body for the rest of my life. I can't even remember what I was into and enjoyed five years ago, let alone what I will enjoy or find witty enough to keep on my body thirty years into the future.

These following folks, on the other hand, will gladly know the answer to that.. they will have shitty tattoos on their body. Now let's take a look at their crappy tattoos and learn that the body is not something to fuck with.

First up is Taco Bear. No, I didn't type Taco Bell wrong. In someone's mind I suppose they misheard the name and in their drunken stupor just rolled with it. But then they went ahead and figured that they would come up with the design of a bear enjoying tasty tacos. This is the end result.



Then we got this gem. She got this from a guy who shoehorned a jay and silent bob reference into his deviantart url. she admits it looks 'sketchy as hell if u havent seen the art' but perhaps thats because the art is sketchy as hell and she is some sort of retard who would rather use a shitty sketch than take the (awful) idea and have another artist redraw it to make it work better for a tattoo. oh and she got it smack dab between her tits. welp. Hope you enjoy having a penis shaped blender between your tits.



Though I guess it's a worse than the other tattoo she got that has secret meaning to it



get it. a square. on her hip. hip to be square. get it. She also apparently does that annoying air quotes thing so much she thought it woudl be agood idea to get actual apostrophes tattooed on her fingers in white ink. no, you wont really be able to see them but im sure next time she air quotes something she will really enthusiastically airquote the shit out of it and desperately look for someone to notice her shitty tattoos.



I'm not sure if it says Hold Fast or Mold Fast. Perhaps he's concerned with how long he has before the food in his fridge spoils? You would think that if you were getting something on your body that you'd want to make sure that it can be read with ease.



No, it's in step. But the real question is how much will you be able to read of it when he's out of shape. Will it look like a mushy pile of ink? Either way, foot tattoos are a little strange. Maybe it's because I'm not a hippie who only wears sandals, but I don't see all that many openings to show off your feet to anyone other than at the beach.



Many dumb tattoos can be blamed on drinking too much. This one is a direct result of drinking too much..



Nothing is more cool than a dragon tattoo. Not unless you count a dragon tattoo wrapped around a sword. Swords are awesome! They're sharp and they can cut things. Too bad you can't cut coolness with this.



While I enjoyed most of Lost for what it is, these fine folks decided that the number mystery was too much and they must simply get a tattoo reminding them of how awesome it is. I'm sure in twenty years the lotto numbers will be exactly these and then 20 thousand nerds will have to share the winnings.



Those aren't bug bites. This person is trying to relive the awesomeness that is Predator by mimicing that their leg is about the blown off by a Predators laser gun. Way to be cool, homie.



Star Wars nerds know no bounds. This one looks like an average lightsaber tattoo. Nothing strange about it, right?



Wrong. At night it lights up with the help of UV light. So you know this douche walks around everywhere with a UV light on his keychain showing this off.



This one... speaks for itself.



I'm not entirely sure I know what Hug Life is all about. I do know that I don't want any part of it.



While I love this state very much, I would not bother writing its name on my arm. What with the whole state budget in the shape that it is in and all.



Now the person with the next two I know. She's a nice person and hell, she let me share a room with her during one year at comic con when I wasn't able to book a room for myself. But I wouldn't be fair and balanced if I didn't point out the obvious in this stuff.

Take notice on where Link is jumping from. Her crotch. I have to say that after growing up playing the Zelda franchise I don't like to picture Link jumping out of someone's crotch. I remember that game all too well. I know what I would do when I was bored in the game. I would run around with Link and start slashing at bushes. Maybe I should stop with that metaphor while I'm ahead...



Here's a profile shot and notice that she has the Zelda life bar meter on her upper chest. Yes, that's pixeled hearts right there. I guess that's not a shitty tattoo. But I do have to wonder if she'll still like the game franchise or if she'll even remember when she's old and those hearts look like little lip stick smeared marks.



But hey, she did house me during comic con, so I can give her a pass, right? As for the other people's tattoos I pointed out in this blog. Fuck 'em. They're losers for getting those tattoos. Wait, let me correct myself. They're losers for getting those SHITTY tattoos.

Me on the other hand, I'm looking to get this tat'ed all on my back



YEEEEEE-HAW!

Permanent Damage

Permanent Damage

It's Earth Day. Yesterday I told you about ways you can make the world a better place. Then again, if you're not trying to recycle your plastic bags by using them again when you go shopping or don't have one of those canvas bags, you're pretty much a big part of the problem. Though doing nothing isn't very helpful either.

Over at the Fox studio store there's a T-shirt that says "This is my 20th Century Fox 100% recycled shirt" The cost of this fine item is $22.99, And that's with the employee discount. Yeah, here's a good way to show you care about the environment, don't buy stupid shirts like that. It may not be wasting material in the sense that you are reusing the stuff, but it's still a waste of material in that it could have been recycled into something useful. Like toilet paper.

Let's move on. Like any other holiday, perhaps you wont just limit your "going green" to only today. Pick up some trash when you see it. Recycle your bottles, cans and paper. You really don't realize how much you're wasting on CRV alone if you don't recycle. Those 5 cents per can really does ad up. $1 for every 20 sodas you drink. Ok, that may seem like a little silly to worry about but in this tough economy, every penny should count. Not to mention that it'll be something you wont regret later on.

Speaking of things you'll regret down the line. Much like our Earth, you only get one body. So use it wisely or you'll end up turning it into a dump. Which gets us to tattoos. Tattoos can often be a great thing to express yourself. It's showing the world something you're connected or have strong feelings towards. But those strong feelings may fade and you should always be aware that.. well... your view point on things will change. What you write on your body today will pretty much not be what you're into when you're 70.

Let's stroll down the lane of terrible tattoos. Things you'll regret.



This guy is really going to regret it when Blu Ray takes over. If HD-DVD won at least he would be able to just add something to the tattoo to make it current. Now it's just a lost cause.



Grats you didn't become a crack whore like the rest of us normal people. Commemorate your straight edgeness with a crap tattoo. Looks like it says Ding Free to me. Maybe he's just a really good driver.



Again with the drug free shit. Hey, maybe I'm just wrong here but you should be drug free in general.



Seriously now. What does this even mean. I could imagine myself at age 60 thinking to myself "Well, a dolphin smoking a bong, yeah. That was cool" Oh wait, no I can't.



This one is odd. It will literally be there forever since any laser surgery to remove it will fail because of the colors.



I... really don't know. Perhaps it makes sense in some Galaxy far far away.

This next one is a two parter.



First we have the sleeve. Which in this case is so meta it hurts. You have a tattoo of a spider-man costume over your skin. But to add complexity to it you add in the fact that you tattoo flesh color skin over your spider-man costume sleeve. Very odd.



Then you have the master piece of all this. The chest ripping skin action of a spider-man logo under your chest. What the fuck is going on here? So you mean to tell me that you're actually spider-man under your skin?



After being in the same sound stage as him I can't imagine having Clay on my skin forever.



Ok, I change my mind. I really like this one because I agree with it completely. But in terms of tramp stamps, I don't think this one makes a good target practice. "Awwwww yeah, take that Ray Romano!"



I don't want to play this video game.



Meat curtains with cob webs? Yeah, I think this is a bit disturbing.



I'm not sure what's worse. His terrible tattoos or the christmas sweater.



Come on, it's funny and all but the damn gun isn't even connected!



I'm pretty tired of "leveling up" in any form but you don't ruin breast by placing tattoos on them. Seriously now.



Word, yo.



So hardcore that she has to advertise it. Maybe if she says it enough, it'll be true.



...... Wait, what?



Here's hoping that the franchise stays around for a long time. Then again, he wont be alive for much longer due to this love for fried chicken, so water will seek its own level.



A good lesson to never piss off your tattoo artist.



Stay classy, good man!



Like Beetlejuice, if you say it three times one will appear.



Never go to a 5 year old tattoo artist.



Again with the boobie tattoos. STOP IT! Stop ruining good breast with ink. Those will look like long barreled guns when sagging eventually kicks in.



Now that's a good way to end the pictures.

There you have it. Perhaps now you'll realize that once you ruin something like your body, you have the capacity to ruin the planet. So perhaps you should stop. Yes. stop putting ink on mother nature's breast. STOP IT!

Happy Earth day. Let's see if you actually carry on the practices tomorrow.