Not-So-Happy-Meals

Not-So-Happy-Meals

Santa Clara County Bans Toys from Fast Food Restaurants... And really, I couldn't give a shit about it. I haven't gone to McDonalds for some time now and I'm sort of glad about it. I don't like their food and maybe the L.A. Times has a point -

It’s a sad day for Happy Meals in Santa Clara County

County officials vote to ban toys and other promotions that restaurants offer with high-calorie children’s meals.


By Sharon Bernstein, Los Angeles Times

April 28, 2010


Happy Meal toys and other promotions that come with high-calorie children's meals will soon be banned in parts of Santa Clara County unless the restaurants meet nutritional guidelines approved Tuesday by the county Board of Supervisors.

"This ordinance prevents restaurants from preying on children's' love of toys" to sell high-calorie, unhealthful food, said Supervisor Ken Yeager, who sponsored the measure. "This ordinance breaks the link between unhealthy food and prizes."

Voting against the measure was Supervisor Donald Gage, who said parents should be responsible for their children.

"If you can't control a 3-year-old child for a toy, God save you when they get to be teenagers," he said. Gage, who is overweight, said he was a living example of how obese children can become obese adults.

But he questioned the role of fast-food toys. "When I was growing up in Gilroy 65 years ago, there were no fast-food restaurants," Gage said.

The board, whose jurisdiction extends only to the unincorporated parts of the county, including much of Silicon Valley, voted 3 to 2 in favor of the ban after a contentious meeting that included more than an hour of testimony on both sides.

In favor of the item were public health administrators, parents and doctors; opposed were fast-food franchisees, other parents, and fans of fast-food toys who said the promotions are often used to provide Christmas presents for poor children.

Dr. Dan Delgado, director of a county program that targets childhood obesity, said the toys are a powerful lure for children, encouraging them to eat unhealthy food, which then helps cause obesity.

Delgado told the supervisors that parents who come into his clinic say they often buy Happy Meals and other fast food for their children because of the toys that are included. Delgado said that the obese children coming into his clinic include a 5-year-old with Type-2 diabetes.

But Steve Peat, who owns seven McDonald's franchises in Santa Clara and Santa Cruz counties, said he and his wife work hard to promote healthy lifestyles for children through their restaurants. Peat said that they have donated funds for children's sports and other activities, and recently won an award for community service from the McDonald's Corp.

The toys won't disappear right away.

As a compromise to win majority support, the five-member board agreed to put off implementing the measure for 90 days, to give the fast-food industry time to come up with a voluntary program for improving the nutritional value of children's meals.

My main thought here is that Santa Clara rules. Then again, I doubt this will do anything but whatever, fuck McDonalds. I was at a gas station/McDonalds one time to get gas and it was "Teachers day" which apparently means "make teachers stand behind the counter and hand out free unhealthy food to hordes of fat children". It was pretty sad when I thought about it pumping my gas.



It's surprising to think that it takes cheap trinkets to get people to eat fatty, calorie laden food. Usually that's the human impulse by default. And don't start calling McDonalds a restaurant. Restaurants bring food to your table. McDoanlds is just an assembly line, no more a culinary master than your local car factory line worker is a Engineer.

But then again, Kids want Happy Meals because they like crappy food, not just because it comes with a toy. I think that's just the icing on the mother fucking cake in this situation. Oh goodie, a toy from a show that has been marketed the fuck to my young demographics! How will I ever live with out it?

The main problem here is that we need much more comprehensive health and personal nutrition education in the school system. Unfortunately that kinda takes a back burner to necessities when you starve the fuck out of schools because 25% of your budget is spent on killing brown foreigners.



The Government food programs for schools was only initiated because the military that wants to kill browns said that the students coming out of public schools were too pussy to fight. So they wanted to toughen them up and put some meat on those bones. You went a little far, wouldn't you agree?

Then the may bad food so cheap. But hey, Poor people who just got off work want a big fucking bucket of fried chicken. Because this is America, and they have a right to. What other reasons does one need? Do you have a problem with that? Huh, buddy?

If you haven't watched Food Inc or read the Omnivore's dilemma, just stop reading this blog post and get the fuck over to some place you can watch and read that. Even though Omnivores is a bit Bougie-snobbery for my taste, it's still a good book with a fair amount of policy slant.



You know if I was in charge, I would ban food from having a brand identifiable container. Standardize containers and only have them say what it is and how many calories it is. Imagine, no more big macs, just 780 CALORIE HAMBURGER on the menu. What a glorious future that would be. Then again, calorie count is not really a great way to gauge the health effects of food. Maybe we should just force-feed everyone kale.

People just don't seem to look at nutrition facts. Most people don't even care what's in the ingredients or how many calories it is. I want how many calories in front of what the food is, the same size font or bigger than the name of the product itself. Like USDA commodity foods but with a huge fucking FATTY CALORIE COUNT in front, Stuff that just say BEANS and the like of which on the cans themselves.

In short, Fuck McDonalds.

McFood

McFood

When I was growing up I didn't eat a lot of McDonalds. While I would like to think that it was because my parents didn't want me to eat crap, it was most likely because they didn't want to spend money. Which I suppose is just as well since it didn't expose me to the horrors that is what you cal their food.

But unlike me, there is millions and millions of people who visit McDonalds on a daily basis. It is the #1 drive thru fast food chain after all. And even with that they do seem to find a way to change up the menu to keep it fresh... yeah, the word FRESH and McDonalds should probably never be uttered in the same sentence.



Take for example McDonalds introducing "mini-meals". Which are a burger with a small version of fries and soda for a much lower price. I took one look at this and thought to myself, that's a happy meal without the toy. No wonder they renamed it, it's no longer happy. Was it an issue that adults were getting the large portioned burgers that have meat stacked up to the sky because they were to ashamed to buy a "Happy Meal", but not too ashamed to be seen in a McDonalds drive-thru? I'm not sure I exactly get the appeal here.

Maybe it's just that the healthy options at McDonalds aren't all that healthy.. or at least not all that appealing. Why spend a couple of bucks on a salad when you can go to the market and get all those key items to make a salad at home for a fraction of the cost. Not to mention that a home made salad doesn't come with countless hidden calories and large fries



Then you have the religious band wagon jumping that they do every year around this time with the Fillet-o-Fish Friday deal. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed that they crank those out during lent. Let me tell you one thing, if there's something that you SHOULD give up for lent, it should be fast food. But hey, what about those who are giving up better things like swearing or giving up lent itself? Yeah. Exactly.

I do sometimes wonder what a Fillet-o-Fish is. It's not like I go to a steak place and ask for a "slab-o-cow". You have to wonder what kind of fish you're getting and at what quality the meat it is. Then again, at $1.29, who wants to ask what exactly you're getting. Besides, people have better things to do with their time. They're at a fast food joint because it's fast.. right? It doesn't mean these people aren't crafty. Take for example the Mc:1030



So what is the Mc10:35? I'm glad you asked

I heard about this from a cashier at one of the local McDonald's. He said it's getting kind of a cult following in San Francisco.

1. Go to McD's right when they are transitioning from breakfast to lunch. 2. Order one of the remaining Egg McMuffins from the breakfast menu and also order a McDouble since the lunch menu is now open. 3. Take the egg and Canadian bacon from the Egg McMuffin and put it on the McDouble.

The guy at the register said people call it a Mc10:35 because that's pretty much the only time you can pull this off.

They're damn good when hungover!

I don't think it really can be called something as "SECRET MENU ITEM" consider it's not actually one thing to order and just an utterly vile looking combination made by the person ordering it who couldn't decide if they wanted breakfast or lunch. All I have to say is, finally a brunch menu for gigantic people. They sure have suffered a long time without an option to eat massive amounts of food...


I have just needed an excuse to post this picture

And egg? On a burger??!? WHAT WHAT WHAT?!?! It's not like Fat Burger hasn't been doing this for ages now and the amount you're going to waste on a burger and an egg McMuffin at McDonalds could be better spent at Fat Burger for a better quality meal that is equally as fattening. At least Fat Burger is honest with their name.

This is also just a less healthy version of a standard sausage egg and cheese sandwich they have already on their breakfast menu. Oh yeah, I guess it also has ham. No big loss, why not just ask for some bacon while you're at it. Besides, you shouldn't encourage McDonalds, they'll probably do this for a limited amount of time and then never serve it again to create demand for it, just like the Shamrock Shake



Which I have to say that MILK has a much better Shamrock shake on their menu year round. So don't believe Ronald's lies and fall in for the hype of getting something nasty like it.

I guess the only real question is who is ordering all this shitty food? I sure as hell am not. Bu



Woman aims to become world's fattest

An obese mother in the US is trying to put on weight in order to become the world's fattest woman.

Donna Simpson, from New Jersey, weighs 273kg but told the Daily Mail newspaper she had her heart set on reaching her goal weight of 1000lb (450kg) in two years.

The 42-year-old already holds the title of the world's fattest mother after giving birth to her daughter in 2007 when she weighed 241kg.

"I'd love to be 1000lb ... it might be hard though, running after my daughter keeps my weight down," Ms Simpson told the Daily Mail.

Ms Simpson, who needs a mobility scooter to go shopping, eats huge amounts of junk food each week and tries to move as little as possible so she doesn't burn off as many calories.

"I do love cakes and sweet things, doughnuts are my favourite," she said.

Ms Simpson said she also loved eating sushi and would often eat 70 big pieces in one go.

Her 49-year-old partner Philippe — who she met on a dating site for plus-size people — was encouraging her to reach her goal, she said.

"I think he'd like it if I was bigger ... he's a real belly man and completely supports me," she said.

To put on enough weight, Ms Simpson will need to eat 12,000 calories a day, which is six times the recommended daily intake for women.

In order to pay for the enormous amounts of food she is eating — her weekly grocery bill is $815 — Ms Simpson makes money by running a website where men pay to watch her consume fast food

Well.. I guess everyone has to have some goals, right? Maybe I should just accept this and buy 200 shares of McDonalds stock right now. Ms Simpson can no longer walk more than 20ft before needing to sit down. Yeah, wouldn't want to burn calories by actually walking, right? That's why she goes to the shops in a mobility scooter. I wonder when she'll reach the weight limit for that.

"To fund the massive $750 weekly food shop, she runs a website where men pay her to watch her eat fast food." I think that's the most disturbing thing and yet the smartest thing. She's literally getting fatter on the money she makes while gaining more fat. I wonder if she'll probably get mercury poisoning from eating 70 big pieces of sushi 3-5 times a week. That poor fabric on her underwear



You know that feeling you get on your fingers after you eat potato chips, I get that feeling when I finished reading that article.. and as I type this blog post about McDonalds.. ugh, that's enough of that. I'll be in the shower scrubbing down with steel wool and Lysol.

Fuck you, McDonalds!

McDonalds Is Gross: Rock McLobster

McDonalds Is Gross: Rock McLobster

I know that McDonalds is not even remotely close to the best option. Yes, they have decent tasting fries, I have to give them that, but their food just flat out sucks. So I suppose I'll do an ongoing topic of McDonalds food being gross. Yes, it's not ground breaking journalism, but hey, I don't ever claim to be some ground breaking awesome journalist.



I really don't have words to describe how badly this thing makes me want to puke. I can't even look at the subway seafood sandwich and not wonder how sick I will get if I ever attempted to eat that. My distrust in how others handle fish and mayo is so bad that I can't ever enjoy a tuna melt or any tuna salad related item at any food establishment. Maybe it's because I know how easy it is to make it and how bad it can be to let it sit for anymore than a few hours, but I just can't do it.

So when I learn that there's something called the McLobster and it's a regional thing at McDonalds, it just makes me happy that I will never come across it and have some strange and morbid desire to try the damn thing because of a well placed advertisement on television that makes me laugh. Especially when this was their marketing machine for the sandiwch.



So there you have it. A pretty gross McLobster McDonalds menu option. Something truly horrifying for this month of October.

Get Your Crazy Chicken On - Southern Style

Get Your Crazy Chicken On - McSouthern Style

I will never doubt the needs of fast food. It's there for those who don't have the time to make food for themselves. And while it remains to be the unhealthiest option around, and in most cases only slightly cheaper than actually sitting down and enjoying your meal, it remains a staple in our culture. A culture always on the move and only willing to put it in park to fill the need of hunger.

McDonalds has one been one company that while I generally don't eat at, I have some respect for creating the burger chain and giving us the drive-thru ability. Originally founded in 1940, McDonalds was a Bar-B-Que place. It was a pretty successful outgoing but in 1948 McDoanlds decided to scale back their menu to only have 9 items. Focusing on the burgers, fries and everything nice approach, they became successful.



It's a long time since then and McDonalds' menu has gone completely insane with the amount of items they are now offering. McGriddles and other options that I dare not even try. They're currently looking to kick Starbucks while starbucks closes up shops in terms of the coffee business.

McDonald's -- never known for a delicate marketing touch -- is about to drop the mother of all campaigns on you, an everywhere-you-look, invade-your-dreams ad campaign in support of its McCafé specialty coffee drinks that will be not so much viral as bubonic. An estimated $100-million mega-buy across TV, Web, radio, print, outdoor and social media, the McCafé push beginning today will be, according to the company, its biggest "menu initiative" since it began serving breakfast in the 1970s.

I'm not even sure their coffee is all that much better. Sure, a 2007 consumer report taste test showed that people liked McDonalds drip coffee better than Starbucks version but what does that actually mean? I don't think I've ever been to Starbucks and asked for a regular cup of coffee. It's always something specially ordered.

McDonald's, $1.35, was decent and moderately strong. Although it lacked the subtle top notes needed to make it rise and shine, it had no flaws. Dunkin' Donuts, $1.65, was weak, watery, and pricier than Starbucks. It was inoffensive, but it had no oomph. (If you brew with Dunkin’ beans at home, you can make it stronger.) Starbucks, $1.55, was strong, but burnt and bitter enough to make your eyes water instead of open.

But now McDonalds has introduced it's McCafe. Offering a section of McDonalds specialty coffees like their own take on a Latte, Cappuccino and Mocha. While I'm ore of a luke warm coffee drinker, I guess these look.. ok, well, they don't look tasty.

This isn't the first time McDonalds has ventured into the world where others dared to brave. It's with my honor that I bring you a review that I literally forgot I ever took pictures and wrote notes about. It had to be at least half a year or more old.

Southern Style. Before McDonalds dared to look Starbucks in the eye and continued to piss in it, they set their eyes on Chick-Fi-la. A place that has a lot in common with McDonalds. In that they both don't actually serve meat.

Chick-Fi-La is a Southern flavor. It provides chicken to the all meat alternative seeking folks and it provides it cheaply. Their big seller is a simple chicken sandwich that comes plain with pickles. It's delicious in its simplicity and McDonalds came about and tried to rip it off with its Southern Chicken sandwich.

Being a fan of Chick-Fi-La's sandwich, oddly enough always craving it on Sundays, the only day the place is closed (they're religious) I wanted to see how McDonald's knock off compared to the real thing. Here's my results.

As you can see the two, I went with a McDonalds new coffee and sandwich comparing it to the Chic-fi-la sandwich and sweet tea.

VS

One goes with a cardboard box for a container and a plastic cup. The other goes with a styrofoam cup and a paper/foil bag. So off the bag you keep the sandwich warmer with the chick-fi-la bag since it's going to retain the heat. I've never been a fan of the Big-mac cardboard container. Half the cheese gets stuck on the bottom of the cardboard and once it's wet, it's as good as gone. Yeah, it makes sure that you sandwich isn't smashed when you stack them, but how many sandwiches do you need to get filled on these? One should be more than enough.

Which brings us to the battle of the sandwiches.

McDonald's Southern Chicken Sandwich



Looks to be on a regular burger bun. It claims to be a sweet one but meh, I really couldn't tell the difference. Not a whole lot of flavor. It's plain chicken flavor. Something that I always disliked about chicken. It can easily taste like plain white meat if you're not trying hard enough to give it any flavor. McDonalds is all about cranking them out quickly, so I can see why it wasn't anything more than something to shove in your mouth that is lower in calories than most other things on their menu.

The coffee was standard coffee with ice. Nothing at all to write home about and it really did taste watered down to all hell. Way too much ice, which in turn melted making it water. Not really a fan. I haven't bought one of these since that first and only time I bought this FOR SCIENCE! Not recommended.

Chick-fi-la Chicken Sandwich



This sandwich is a meal in itself. Nevermind the potential of waffle fries being added to the combo. The sandwich in itself is damn tasty. Never falling short and landing into that area of boring white meat. The bun is actually tasty in itself. So even without the mayo, mustard and ketchup, it's filled with a lot of flavor.

If you are inclined to toss something on the burger, Chick-fi-la also offers up various sauces. From honey mustard to sweet and sour sauce. It's really a lot of choices on how you can make what appears to be a plain sandwich into something completely different every time you try one.

The sweet tea in itself will one day kill me. I just know it'll seal my fate and give me diabeties. There's no doubt about any of that. I'm just thankful that they have free refills because I can suck this stuff down with ease.

How about a side by side comparisson.



Both come with two pickles and not much else. This is going to have a lot of people put into question the amount you get for the price you pay. In this modern day you're expecting your burger to be topped a mile high. Hell, Carl's Jr. has made it that an extra patty is a common condiment. Add in chili and all the other stackable material, that first fact will throw off a lot of consumers from getting this otherwise simple, yet tasty sandwich.

Between the two sandwiches you can see that the Chick-fi-la chicken breast is huge compared to the McDonalds one. Let alonoe the bread quality on the chick-fi-la is a whole lot better than Micky-D's version. Speaking of which, can we stop calling it Mickey-D's? That's a stupid name and a burger joint is far from having street cred.

The different potential flavors that you can get out of the sandwich from a Chick-fi-la version is 10x's as many as you can get from McDonalds version due to the different sauce packs they have. Add in that they are free from Chick-fi-la and cost you something from McDonalds, the winner is clearly leaning towards Chick-fi-la

Especially when it comes to the price as well. The chick-fi-la meal ranks a bit pricier by a buck or two, but you get what you pay for in terms of a top quality burger. What do you get for that higher price? A healthier meal. Men's Health, A magazine that I have been pretty gay for shows that Chick-fi-la ranks in the best in terms of fast food chains. With having nothing on the menu that is more than 500 calories, a bar that no other fast food joint can claim, it really is the best possible choice to make when you're on the go and feeling hungry.



It has been said that the south will rise again. I think there's only a certain amount of truth in that when it comes to their food and the hospitality. If you've been to Atlanta lately you'll realize that it's still only good for a couple of things. Being a delta hub, providing you with Coke and being a Ray Charles song. When it comes to chicken sandwiches, McDonalds doesn't touch Chick-fi-la in terms of southern style chicken sandwiches.

As for McDonalds move to coffee. I'm sure it'll be just the same. Good for you if you're on a budget and need that speciality drink as a status symbol but I wouldn't expect anything great out of the flavor.



As much as I'm not a fan of starbucks, you do eventually get what you pay for in going to those that aren't trying to be a jack of all trades. Stick to the items you're good at. In this case, McDonalds would be better suited sticking to Burgers. It is what made them famous, perhaps you shouldn't expand too far. Keep It Simple Stupid. K.I.S.S.