We Feed The World

We Feed The World

With Thanksgiving out of the way, now it's probably time that you want to stop thinking about food altogether. Especially those extra 10 pounds you picked up from Aunt Mildread's pumpkin pie... What with all that lard she used for the crust and the tons of whipped topping. Man, that must go straight to the ass.

In any event, I suppose it's a good time to talk about food.

I mean, you had a nice warm home cooked dinner just a few days ago and now you're back to eating fast food. That confuses me. I want to know what changed in the American psyche between the time when everyone accepted family-run restaurants like those along route 66 and now, where no one will eat at a chain with fewer than 100 locations.

And I'm not buying the concept that it's easy to stop at a chain restaurant that you've eaten at 100 times before because you know exactly how and what the food is going to taste like. I realize that Americans aren't exactly known for their culinary adventurism, but to just write off so many potential eating establishments, even ones that are seen on Diner's Drive-in's and Dive's, for the McDonalds assembly line taste is beyond a crime against humanity.

It makes me dread for the future when your weekly rations of Tyson Fortifeed® Chicken gloop is distributed via a system of koch industries pneumatic tubes straight to your halliburton macro-wave™ oven



What? You don't like the way that sounds? I tell you, it's going to be Bobby Flay style delicious!

Okay, it's not. But let's just roll with the assumption there that it's the future, so it has to be cool. Or we can just face reality and realize our food is becoming something of a science experiment. Jamie Oliver did a thing with both UK Students and America Students show them how companies get mechanically separated chicken.

Which got a completely different reaction in the U.S. when he tried it on school children in West Virgina..



I love it. "Because we're hungry!"

They weren't even hungry, they just saw what looked like a fucking chicken nugget and their pill-addled ADHD brains lit up like a Christmas tree set of lights. But then it hit me. I was sort of waiting for Jamie Oliver to explain why those parts of the chicken were bad. I don't think "Because it looks gross" cuts it as a proper explanation.

I mean, in a world where we love to each Veal or goose liver, why should mechanically separated chicken be anything bad? Yeah, I guess adding a ton of food "stabilizers", flavorings and possibly oil are bad, but there's really no difference in the composition of human muscle, bones and connective tissue and those of chickens.

I haven't had a chicken nugget in years, but I do remember them being fairly tasty. So I'm not sure what's all the crying about. Should we only use white breast meat for chicken nuggets? Isn't that like using Kobe Beef for a corn dog or hot dog? Or like using top shelf tequila for a margarita. Sure, it makes you look high end, but you're really not going to taste it masked under all those other flavors.

These chicken nuggets seem like perfectly edible parts of a chicken being eaten. And isn't that what we're going for? Eating as much of the animal you killed. I know if I died for someone's meal, I wouldn't want my parts tossed away. Use every last inch of me for something.



Even if it's pretty gross and you don't want to taste the icky parts of the chicken. I'm sure that if Jamie Oliver brought his show to a group of native American kids, they'll probably astound him with how much they could do with a deer carcass.

If you seriously don't eat or ever consider eating Offal, even in a show of solidarity with the third world in eating whatever you can from the animal, then you're doing it wrong. I eat offal because it's god damn delicious. You should as well. Don't think that you should leave those parts for the vagrants and the coloreds.

Here's 30 seconds of a Vegan's nighmare....




During my brief time working in a kitchen, you learn to appreciate food a bit more and become disgusted with the amount of food that you see thrown away everyday. If there's any reason why you should be upset about mechanically separated chicken it should be because that chicken can probably be more productively turned into chicken stock.

Soup made with chicken stock made from fresh chicken is so damn good. Even at home, you can just throw the carcass in a slow cooker along with the neck bone and some of the giblets and some veggies and water and wake up the next morning with a tasty stock to turn into a soup. Not to mention that in this economy, if you make stock out of the organ bones and neck, you can get at least 5 meals out of a single chicken.

But just look at the government run studies....

Mechanically separated poultry is a safe and wholesome food product with nutritional characteristics similar to ground poultry. Because of its cake-batter texture, it is ideally suited for use in hot dogs, bologna, nuggets, patties, sausages and luncheon meat-type products.

Then again, HA! The USDA.. yeah, the same people who ban Haggis and yet sell Hotdogs. It's the same USDA who says GM foods are not evil at all and.. well, here we are. But still, I'm going to trust them on this one. I don't think it's okay to say it's bad simply because it looks gross. Being grossed out by the process of food preparation is about as silver spooned as it comes.

Yes, processed food is gross looking and the fact remains that the more processed a food is, the harder it is for your body to absorb the vitamins and nutrients in it, no matter how many vitamin supplment powders and stabliizers you put in it. But should it be a reason to not be able to feed lower income people?

Then you have cone pizza..



You have to admit, that's what America is all about. Do you have an awesome idea? Do you want the freedom to make something out of it? Does it include gross fucking food? Well then, come to the U.S. and all your dreams will come true!

Though I have to admit that I find it morbidly fulfilling that someone poor soul will take a deep and hearty bite into that while it's still hot and burn his lips on molten cheese the likes of which would be 100x more powerful than a hot pocket. All having to resort to going to the emergency room.

So there you have it.. the food of the future.. or. um. yeah. We feed the world indeed.

No Time For The Ol' In & Out, Love. Just Here To Check The Meter

No Time For The Ol' In & Out, Love. Just Here To Check The Meter

First off, I still hear people bitching about the Double Down at KFC. Let me remind you that it is the healthiest item on KFC's menu. That's right. Healthiest option there and most anywhere in the fast food world. Just cause it looks gross as fuck means little to nothing.

Then again, you could just go to In-n-Out. You know why? Cause In-n-Out fucking owns. Their burgers are so delicious and the ingredients are freshly made and shipped. Meat that's never frozen? How could you go wrong? Oh... what's that? they just got expensive?



Did you realize that they got slightly more expensive since the last time you've eaten there? Well they did.

You might have noticed it, or maybe you didn't: In-N-Out quietly raised its prices by 10 cents on April 1st. It's one of those incrementally minute things that you don't realize has happened until eventually, ten years later, you think to yourself, "Wow, a burger here used to be less than two dollars!"

With the change, their cheeseburgers have finally crossed the $2 line, which in my opinion, is still cheap.

Curious, I asked my cashier and he said that the price increase was made as a response to rising produce costs.

A dime?!?! A FREAKIN' DIME?!?! Oh great. Now I'm going to be looking through my car's change pile for a shiny little thing. Curse them! Hee.

"It's one of those incrementally minute things that you don't realize has happened until eventually, ten years later, you think to yourself, 'Wow, a burger here used to be less than two dollars!'"

To be honest, that just sounds like every old person and should be a rite of passage. "THINGS WHERE CHEAPER IN MY DAY!" sort of ranting. In all reality, this isn't much of anything.

so why did they raise the prices? Well, it seems pretty straightforward. The price increase was made as a response to rising produce costs. You want to keep that fresh lettuce, right? Besides, it's a small price to pay for what is still the best and cheapest burger options in Los Angeles.

Then again, perhaps I'm just biased. I mean, I'm more than happy to accept IN-N-OUT even though they have religious references on their cups. You keep your Jesus out of my burger and I'll keep my atheist out of your beliefs!

But even with that, I think it's perfectly good food and I love to eat. It's the healthy version of the fast food chains because of that fresh ingredients. I do like the fact that it was used to prank New Yorkers on April fools day. Some folks put signs up suggesting that In N Out was coming soon which lead to a lot of sorrow spread across those New Yorkers faces when it turned out to be a prank.

Doube Down!

Doube Down!

Oh you poor unfortunate souls. You don't have any idea what horrors are being unleashed on your lunch time today. Be warned, the end is coming. It comes in the form of meat and cheese and more meat. Yes, my friends - IT HAS BEGUN! RELEASE THE KRAKEN KFC!



Whenever I go to Vegas there's typically a couple of rules I follow. First off, never burn the locals. Second rule is to always double down on 11. In fact, it's really fun to double down. It's something you look forward to finally using those wide words of wisdom. Well, now KFC unleashes something with the name Double Down that I'm not sure if you're going to coming out ahead with.

I bring to you, THE KFC DOUBLE DOWN!

It's like they asked the average Joe "What do you want on your sandwich?" only to hear "MEAT!" as an answer

"What about the bread? What kind do you want?"

"MEAT!"

Yup. all that was taken into account and thus they bring to you this;


The sandwich will be available in two forms. The original Recipe sandwich will set you back about 540 calories, 32g of fat and 1380mg of sodium. That not-as-bad-for-you Grilled Double Down totals 460 calories, 23g of fat and 1430mg of Sodium.

While I suppose the sodium is a bit high, even for the grilled version, just look at those calories. In all truths it means that you could eat four of these before you even cross the line of calories that you get from a thickburger and baconator. Yes, those make this fast food item look extremely healthy. How about that. I wouldn't want to go to town on that, but as far as fast food goes, you can do a lot worse than picking this KFC horrible creation.



Just think about this little fact. This ugly looking thing has fewer calories and less fat than a Big Mac. If you're at McDonalds, a ten piece of chicken nuggets has 50 more calories than the grilled double down. It's actually a pretty good macronutrient profile, other than the transfat stuff, for anyone trying to get big while lifting weights. It's literally a protein bomb and low on carbs.

This sandwich is simultaneously awesome and horrible at the same time. Awesome because it's probably the best drunk food ever or the best food for people looking to get muscle mass. But horrible because look at that. The idea of eating fried chicken with bacon and cheese just seems so wrong on every level. I'm just thinking that if it didn't have so much sodium, the grilled version wouldn't be anything at all to worry about.




Then again, Sodium isn't as bad for you as people think it is. There's really no reason for everyone to be stressing the sodium factor. Just drink a lot of water all day and you'll be fine. This is what you should be doing every day anyway. Far too few people drink enough water in the day. Back when I worked out a lot, this thing has less calories than I eat in any meal except my pre-bedtime shake.

While it does have fewer calories than most fast food meals, I guess the real problem is that your typical fatty is going to look at this and think to themselves "I dunno, looks kinda small, better order two." Along with half a gallon of soda from the fountain. That is the real enemy to their heart and belly.



When I first heard of this I just assumed Patton Oswalt had made something else up but sure enough, it got media attention. But now this day is upon us when the Double Down is offered at any KFC.

So the real question is if you're going to try one of these suckers.

McFood

McFood

When I was growing up I didn't eat a lot of McDonalds. While I would like to think that it was because my parents didn't want me to eat crap, it was most likely because they didn't want to spend money. Which I suppose is just as well since it didn't expose me to the horrors that is what you cal their food.

But unlike me, there is millions and millions of people who visit McDonalds on a daily basis. It is the #1 drive thru fast food chain after all. And even with that they do seem to find a way to change up the menu to keep it fresh... yeah, the word FRESH and McDonalds should probably never be uttered in the same sentence.



Take for example McDonalds introducing "mini-meals". Which are a burger with a small version of fries and soda for a much lower price. I took one look at this and thought to myself, that's a happy meal without the toy. No wonder they renamed it, it's no longer happy. Was it an issue that adults were getting the large portioned burgers that have meat stacked up to the sky because they were to ashamed to buy a "Happy Meal", but not too ashamed to be seen in a McDonalds drive-thru? I'm not sure I exactly get the appeal here.

Maybe it's just that the healthy options at McDonalds aren't all that healthy.. or at least not all that appealing. Why spend a couple of bucks on a salad when you can go to the market and get all those key items to make a salad at home for a fraction of the cost. Not to mention that a home made salad doesn't come with countless hidden calories and large fries



Then you have the religious band wagon jumping that they do every year around this time with the Fillet-o-Fish Friday deal. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed that they crank those out during lent. Let me tell you one thing, if there's something that you SHOULD give up for lent, it should be fast food. But hey, what about those who are giving up better things like swearing or giving up lent itself? Yeah. Exactly.

I do sometimes wonder what a Fillet-o-Fish is. It's not like I go to a steak place and ask for a "slab-o-cow". You have to wonder what kind of fish you're getting and at what quality the meat it is. Then again, at $1.29, who wants to ask what exactly you're getting. Besides, people have better things to do with their time. They're at a fast food joint because it's fast.. right? It doesn't mean these people aren't crafty. Take for example the Mc:1030



So what is the Mc10:35? I'm glad you asked

I heard about this from a cashier at one of the local McDonald's. He said it's getting kind of a cult following in San Francisco.

1. Go to McD's right when they are transitioning from breakfast to lunch. 2. Order one of the remaining Egg McMuffins from the breakfast menu and also order a McDouble since the lunch menu is now open. 3. Take the egg and Canadian bacon from the Egg McMuffin and put it on the McDouble.

The guy at the register said people call it a Mc10:35 because that's pretty much the only time you can pull this off.

They're damn good when hungover!

I don't think it really can be called something as "SECRET MENU ITEM" consider it's not actually one thing to order and just an utterly vile looking combination made by the person ordering it who couldn't decide if they wanted breakfast or lunch. All I have to say is, finally a brunch menu for gigantic people. They sure have suffered a long time without an option to eat massive amounts of food...


I have just needed an excuse to post this picture

And egg? On a burger??!? WHAT WHAT WHAT?!?! It's not like Fat Burger hasn't been doing this for ages now and the amount you're going to waste on a burger and an egg McMuffin at McDonalds could be better spent at Fat Burger for a better quality meal that is equally as fattening. At least Fat Burger is honest with their name.

This is also just a less healthy version of a standard sausage egg and cheese sandwich they have already on their breakfast menu. Oh yeah, I guess it also has ham. No big loss, why not just ask for some bacon while you're at it. Besides, you shouldn't encourage McDonalds, they'll probably do this for a limited amount of time and then never serve it again to create demand for it, just like the Shamrock Shake



Which I have to say that MILK has a much better Shamrock shake on their menu year round. So don't believe Ronald's lies and fall in for the hype of getting something nasty like it.

I guess the only real question is who is ordering all this shitty food? I sure as hell am not. Bu



Woman aims to become world's fattest

An obese mother in the US is trying to put on weight in order to become the world's fattest woman.

Donna Simpson, from New Jersey, weighs 273kg but told the Daily Mail newspaper she had her heart set on reaching her goal weight of 1000lb (450kg) in two years.

The 42-year-old already holds the title of the world's fattest mother after giving birth to her daughter in 2007 when she weighed 241kg.

"I'd love to be 1000lb ... it might be hard though, running after my daughter keeps my weight down," Ms Simpson told the Daily Mail.

Ms Simpson, who needs a mobility scooter to go shopping, eats huge amounts of junk food each week and tries to move as little as possible so she doesn't burn off as many calories.

"I do love cakes and sweet things, doughnuts are my favourite," she said.

Ms Simpson said she also loved eating sushi and would often eat 70 big pieces in one go.

Her 49-year-old partner Philippe — who she met on a dating site for plus-size people — was encouraging her to reach her goal, she said.

"I think he'd like it if I was bigger ... he's a real belly man and completely supports me," she said.

To put on enough weight, Ms Simpson will need to eat 12,000 calories a day, which is six times the recommended daily intake for women.

In order to pay for the enormous amounts of food she is eating — her weekly grocery bill is $815 — Ms Simpson makes money by running a website where men pay to watch her consume fast food

Well.. I guess everyone has to have some goals, right? Maybe I should just accept this and buy 200 shares of McDonalds stock right now. Ms Simpson can no longer walk more than 20ft before needing to sit down. Yeah, wouldn't want to burn calories by actually walking, right? That's why she goes to the shops in a mobility scooter. I wonder when she'll reach the weight limit for that.

"To fund the massive $750 weekly food shop, she runs a website where men pay her to watch her eat fast food." I think that's the most disturbing thing and yet the smartest thing. She's literally getting fatter on the money she makes while gaining more fat. I wonder if she'll probably get mercury poisoning from eating 70 big pieces of sushi 3-5 times a week. That poor fabric on her underwear



You know that feeling you get on your fingers after you eat potato chips, I get that feeling when I finished reading that article.. and as I type this blog post about McDonalds.. ugh, that's enough of that. I'll be in the shower scrubbing down with steel wool and Lysol.

Fuck you, McDonalds!

Weighing In On The Holidays

Weighing In On The Holidays

It's that time of year where you start eating like crazy all sorts of things that will go straight to your hips. On average, 51% of your annual weight gain happens between Thanksgiving through New Years Eve. That is all before the New Years resolution to lose 10 pounds. Way to go, you just gained 7lbs!

Why is this? Well, the holidays cause you to compulsively socialize with people... who, well, you really otherwise would choose to ignore. often at parties or family functions that just cause a whole lot of stress. A way that people choose to react to stress is to, of course, get comfort food as it helps you forget all about that hardship.



You also have to spend a lot more money on people when you really don't have all that much money to spend in the first place with this economy. The quest for the perfect present is one that causes a lot of stress as well as the fact that you don't have all that cash to begin with, dealing with the crowds.. All in all, you're pretty much going to be losing your mind and burying yourself in some chocolate to get away from it all.

Let's be realistic here. Thanksgiving is going to be a lost cause for you and everyone else. You are going to be encouraged to get seconds and thirds. This is stacked on top of the fact that you have a lot of food in front of you, you're going to over eat on Thanksgiving. There's no question about that.

Once you forget about Thanksgiving, just go at it with a pro-active approach to defeat the potential of gaining weight this season. I have no idea what I weigh right now, but I'm not going to join the masses and gain 51% of my annual weight this year. If anything, I'm going to do everything in my power to LOSE weight. I will weigh myself later today and post it. Hey, I'm no lady and I'm sure putting myself on blast like this will only serve as encouragement to lose it.



You can join me and do a daily weigh in and track how much you gain or lose through the 35 days between Thanksgiving and New Years. Keep a chart handy. It's very important that you have a visual reminder of your progress or catch yourself before you start slipping. It may keep track of your progress, but it's also emphasizes long-term, positive goals and maintaining personal health. The ol' saying in Weight Watchers is "Never let a lapse become a collapse," While it may sound like some buzz words, it does make sense.

Don't let the fact that it's cold and perfect time for some comfort food become a major Achilles heel to your potential healthy weight loss. Especially if you are going to make the generic resolution in January to lose the weight, it's better to start now. You can also cut out red meat out of your diet. Not only is it less of a strain on your arteries, but it will make your cum taste better. Who cares about that, right? I'm sure your girlfriends will appreciate it. And if you think my suggestions are silly, perhaps you can take a note from this wacky lady who has some helpful hints;


Who, for some reason thinks that rice is key. Even though rice is pretty heavy on the carbs. I mean, it's no fade diet or anything, but maybe the key here is simple common sense eating. I mean, let's take the following image to see how much the average American eats in Calories per day:



I'm not sure how you can justify that supersized meal. I mean, you have to be eating a lot of Baconators per week to get to that level of consumption. Just look at the nutritional facts about it with this handy link

I have to say, the triple baconator left me mesmerized. I'm not sure if it's because of the sheer ridiculousness or because deep inside I want to try one... and then die. I remember back when i ate fast food regularly and I saw Super size Me, I didn't understand why that guy threw up after eating a super sized McDonalds meal, I thought he was being overly dramatic/feigning it, but now after eating normal-human-sied portions for years I am just appalled at the thought of eating something like a triple baconator. I feel like vomiting just looking at that thing.

I mean, Jesus fucking christ, it's like two days worth of calories and a week's worth of fat, and the meat is literally predigested parts-slurry from growth-hormone-ballooned fairy animals. Fuck! My dinner tonight was like, maybe 360-370 calories and I'm being generous. How does one eat literally 10x that in one day?



The answer, of course, is Soda. Two cans of Coca Cola run you 320 calories themselves. I used to drink a lot of it. Almost a liter of non-diet Pepsi a day. I can't fathom to even consider going back to that lifestyle. I see people who get chemically dependent on energy and caffeine drinks that they get bad headaches at this point if they don't have the daily fix.

Here's the basics. Seldom ever drink soft drinks and avoid eating from fast food places and go to the gym or get some healthy exercise once or twice a week for an hour. Congrats, you are now living healthier than 90% of America.

Oh, are you offended, you 90% of Americans who are eating way too much? I know, I know. It's hard to maintain. Between your Modern Warfare 2, Episodes of South Park and the rigorous demands of working at Staples, I'm surprised you have even 20 minutes a week to yourself.



Oh? what was that? You literally get to work at 6am and finish at midnight and only earn $2/hr and don't have the time to cook and fast food is your ONLY option? I know, I must have been living in my fantasy world of bulk rice and beans. Cooking a simple meal with inexpensive bulk meals SEEMS like it's cheap and healthy, but you forget the TIME costs... it literally takes upwards of 45 minutes for some of these so called "simple" meals, do you have any idea how busy my life is, Javier? I have 15 KIDS for gods sake, constantly crying about being hungry, fast food is seriously a gift from god!

And a Microwave at work? I'm sorry we can't all work at some major television production company, Javi. Ebgame doesn't have those luxury items, so precooked meals are literally NOT an option, please stop suggesting those. The only other REASONABLE option would be that I eat at subway, but please keep in mind that subway is a whole 4 blocks away. So getting there, eating and getting back in my 30 minute lunch break would be quite the feat indeed. Does anyone know if A&Ws is somewhat healthy if I'm only getting diet soda?



See how silly that sounds? I get the fact that fatty foods are cheaper than eating healthy. Just look at the price of a bag full of frozen meat patties versus a bag full of frozen veggies. If you want to point the finger at someone, it may not be the consumer - they're just caught up like pawns in a bigger game.

So how about you stop being that pawn and start owning up to your own eating habits? If there was ever any time to rebel against these habits, it would be in this time of the year when it will effect you the most.

Then again, you can always just give into over eating and stuff your mouth with some of Paula Dean's deep fried butter balls. Want something to go with your fried butter balls? How about a double chocolate gooey butter cake y'all.



Though, before I judge America too harshly, let's see the graph again and break it down. It gets its info from the WHO. The WHO says it gets its info from FAOSTAT, which is the statistical food organization of the UN. You can look through the FAOSTAT consumption statistics here:
http://faostat.fao.org/site/609/default.aspx#ancor

According to their FAQ, FAOSTAT's glossary defines dietary energy consumption per person as:
FAOSTAT said:

Dietary energy consumption per person refers to the amount of food, expressed in kilocalories (kcal) per day, available for each individual in the total population during the reference period. Caloric content is derived by applying the appropriate food composition factors to the quantities of the commodities. Per person supplies are derived from the total amount of food available for human consumption by dividing total calories by total population actually partaking of the food supplies during the reference period. However, per person figures represent only the average supply available for the population as a whole and do not necessarily indicate what is actually consumed by individuals. The actual food consumption may be lower than the quantity shown as food availability depending on the magnitude of wastage and losses of food in the household, e.g. during storage, in preparation and cooking, as plate-waste or quantities fed to domestic animals and pets, thrown or given away.

So it's a little bit of a myth busted. Your average American may not be eating 3767 in calories a day. Your average American is probably only eating 2,600 calories and then throws away enough to feed sub Saharan Africa. In other words, Cheer up!

Get Your Crazy Chicken On - Southern Style

Get Your Crazy Chicken On - McSouthern Style

I will never doubt the needs of fast food. It's there for those who don't have the time to make food for themselves. And while it remains to be the unhealthiest option around, and in most cases only slightly cheaper than actually sitting down and enjoying your meal, it remains a staple in our culture. A culture always on the move and only willing to put it in park to fill the need of hunger.

McDonalds has one been one company that while I generally don't eat at, I have some respect for creating the burger chain and giving us the drive-thru ability. Originally founded in 1940, McDonalds was a Bar-B-Que place. It was a pretty successful outgoing but in 1948 McDoanlds decided to scale back their menu to only have 9 items. Focusing on the burgers, fries and everything nice approach, they became successful.



It's a long time since then and McDonalds' menu has gone completely insane with the amount of items they are now offering. McGriddles and other options that I dare not even try. They're currently looking to kick Starbucks while starbucks closes up shops in terms of the coffee business.

McDonald's -- never known for a delicate marketing touch -- is about to drop the mother of all campaigns on you, an everywhere-you-look, invade-your-dreams ad campaign in support of its McCafé specialty coffee drinks that will be not so much viral as bubonic. An estimated $100-million mega-buy across TV, Web, radio, print, outdoor and social media, the McCafé push beginning today will be, according to the company, its biggest "menu initiative" since it began serving breakfast in the 1970s.

I'm not even sure their coffee is all that much better. Sure, a 2007 consumer report taste test showed that people liked McDonalds drip coffee better than Starbucks version but what does that actually mean? I don't think I've ever been to Starbucks and asked for a regular cup of coffee. It's always something specially ordered.

McDonald's, $1.35, was decent and moderately strong. Although it lacked the subtle top notes needed to make it rise and shine, it had no flaws. Dunkin' Donuts, $1.65, was weak, watery, and pricier than Starbucks. It was inoffensive, but it had no oomph. (If you brew with Dunkin’ beans at home, you can make it stronger.) Starbucks, $1.55, was strong, but burnt and bitter enough to make your eyes water instead of open.

But now McDonalds has introduced it's McCafe. Offering a section of McDonalds specialty coffees like their own take on a Latte, Cappuccino and Mocha. While I'm ore of a luke warm coffee drinker, I guess these look.. ok, well, they don't look tasty.

This isn't the first time McDonalds has ventured into the world where others dared to brave. It's with my honor that I bring you a review that I literally forgot I ever took pictures and wrote notes about. It had to be at least half a year or more old.

Southern Style. Before McDonalds dared to look Starbucks in the eye and continued to piss in it, they set their eyes on Chick-Fi-la. A place that has a lot in common with McDonalds. In that they both don't actually serve meat.

Chick-Fi-La is a Southern flavor. It provides chicken to the all meat alternative seeking folks and it provides it cheaply. Their big seller is a simple chicken sandwich that comes plain with pickles. It's delicious in its simplicity and McDonalds came about and tried to rip it off with its Southern Chicken sandwich.

Being a fan of Chick-Fi-La's sandwich, oddly enough always craving it on Sundays, the only day the place is closed (they're religious) I wanted to see how McDonald's knock off compared to the real thing. Here's my results.

As you can see the two, I went with a McDonalds new coffee and sandwich comparing it to the Chic-fi-la sandwich and sweet tea.

VS

One goes with a cardboard box for a container and a plastic cup. The other goes with a styrofoam cup and a paper/foil bag. So off the bag you keep the sandwich warmer with the chick-fi-la bag since it's going to retain the heat. I've never been a fan of the Big-mac cardboard container. Half the cheese gets stuck on the bottom of the cardboard and once it's wet, it's as good as gone. Yeah, it makes sure that you sandwich isn't smashed when you stack them, but how many sandwiches do you need to get filled on these? One should be more than enough.

Which brings us to the battle of the sandwiches.

McDonald's Southern Chicken Sandwich



Looks to be on a regular burger bun. It claims to be a sweet one but meh, I really couldn't tell the difference. Not a whole lot of flavor. It's plain chicken flavor. Something that I always disliked about chicken. It can easily taste like plain white meat if you're not trying hard enough to give it any flavor. McDonalds is all about cranking them out quickly, so I can see why it wasn't anything more than something to shove in your mouth that is lower in calories than most other things on their menu.

The coffee was standard coffee with ice. Nothing at all to write home about and it really did taste watered down to all hell. Way too much ice, which in turn melted making it water. Not really a fan. I haven't bought one of these since that first and only time I bought this FOR SCIENCE! Not recommended.

Chick-fi-la Chicken Sandwich



This sandwich is a meal in itself. Nevermind the potential of waffle fries being added to the combo. The sandwich in itself is damn tasty. Never falling short and landing into that area of boring white meat. The bun is actually tasty in itself. So even without the mayo, mustard and ketchup, it's filled with a lot of flavor.

If you are inclined to toss something on the burger, Chick-fi-la also offers up various sauces. From honey mustard to sweet and sour sauce. It's really a lot of choices on how you can make what appears to be a plain sandwich into something completely different every time you try one.

The sweet tea in itself will one day kill me. I just know it'll seal my fate and give me diabeties. There's no doubt about any of that. I'm just thankful that they have free refills because I can suck this stuff down with ease.

How about a side by side comparisson.



Both come with two pickles and not much else. This is going to have a lot of people put into question the amount you get for the price you pay. In this modern day you're expecting your burger to be topped a mile high. Hell, Carl's Jr. has made it that an extra patty is a common condiment. Add in chili and all the other stackable material, that first fact will throw off a lot of consumers from getting this otherwise simple, yet tasty sandwich.

Between the two sandwiches you can see that the Chick-fi-la chicken breast is huge compared to the McDonalds one. Let alonoe the bread quality on the chick-fi-la is a whole lot better than Micky-D's version. Speaking of which, can we stop calling it Mickey-D's? That's a stupid name and a burger joint is far from having street cred.

The different potential flavors that you can get out of the sandwich from a Chick-fi-la version is 10x's as many as you can get from McDonalds version due to the different sauce packs they have. Add in that they are free from Chick-fi-la and cost you something from McDonalds, the winner is clearly leaning towards Chick-fi-la

Especially when it comes to the price as well. The chick-fi-la meal ranks a bit pricier by a buck or two, but you get what you pay for in terms of a top quality burger. What do you get for that higher price? A healthier meal. Men's Health, A magazine that I have been pretty gay for shows that Chick-fi-la ranks in the best in terms of fast food chains. With having nothing on the menu that is more than 500 calories, a bar that no other fast food joint can claim, it really is the best possible choice to make when you're on the go and feeling hungry.



It has been said that the south will rise again. I think there's only a certain amount of truth in that when it comes to their food and the hospitality. If you've been to Atlanta lately you'll realize that it's still only good for a couple of things. Being a delta hub, providing you with Coke and being a Ray Charles song. When it comes to chicken sandwiches, McDonalds doesn't touch Chick-fi-la in terms of southern style chicken sandwiches.

As for McDonalds move to coffee. I'm sure it'll be just the same. Good for you if you're on a budget and need that speciality drink as a status symbol but I wouldn't expect anything great out of the flavor.



As much as I'm not a fan of starbucks, you do eventually get what you pay for in going to those that aren't trying to be a jack of all trades. Stick to the items you're good at. In this case, McDonalds would be better suited sticking to Burgers. It is what made them famous, perhaps you shouldn't expand too far. Keep It Simple Stupid. K.I.S.S.

Hit The Road, Jack

Hit The Road, Jack

If you pay attention enough to advertisements, you'll know that Jack, from Jack In the Box, got hit by a car.


Many suspected that Ronald McDoanld was behind the wheel but he was ruled out as a suspect when it was discovered that him and Wendy checked into a motel roughly around the same time. I don't want to imagine the ginger kids they'll produce...

Back to Jack though. Looks like his near-death condition has caused Jack to want to change things up in his little box there.

As reported in the Orange County waste of paper.

Jack in the Box will announce today a major brand overhaul that includes a new modern logo, the debut of sliders and a makeover at more than 2,000 restaurants.

The brand changes are expected to be announced this morning by a “re-energized” fictitious Chief executive Jack Box.

The mascot’s appearance will be his first public outing since he was hit by a bus during a Super Bowl commercial. The mock month-long tragedy involved a series of commercials and YouTube videos chronicling the brutal bus bashing.

Now I'm not the biggest fan of Jack in the box. But that's mainly because I feel you can get better burgers at same price as Jack's charges. So the logo change to this really doesn't effect me in the slightest.


A New Box to be trapped in

In fact, I think the new logo looks pretty neat. It's a nice change and does have a very nostalgic look for a fast food franchise. It's sort of Madmen meets Burgers.

Along with the new logo we'll see a couple of brand new items on the menu including sliders. Which I really can't figure out what makes them all that special. I have had White Castle before and well, I can tolerate them well when there's nothing else or bigger on the menu. But if you can get a real burger... or as real as you can get from Jack in the Box, why bother with sliders?

I see the same thing with Burger King since they introduced sliders a bit ago. I'm not sure if the home of the whopper is all that great of a choice to bring about the smaller meal option. Yeah, no thanks.



Here's further proof that these aren't sliders at all. Hamburger today reports on the matter. They're dinner roll size buns but aren't sliders as sliders are typically steam fried with lots of slimy onions. But further more, BK has been doing a lot of free samples on these and from what I can tell, no one is caring. Hey, if you want small two bite burgers at the home of the whopper, more power to you. Just seems really silly to pay $5 for what could get you two whoppers.

In the end, did they really need a marketing campaign of hitting someone with a car to bring about change to the franchise? Do the newest additions really make you want to go to Jacks more than normal? It's cheap food. Simple as that. I say as long as you keep the two tacos for 99 cents on the menu, you can pretty much don't need to bash Jack with anything and I'll be a-okay.

DineLA Is Dead? Long Live DineLA!

Dining in L.A.... Everyone Dines in L.A!

Well, almost everyone. It seems that with the current economic situation dining out has become one of those fats that gets trimmed first. It seems that restaurants are having a hard time drawing customers

In a financial climate that has seen some franchises file bankruptcy during the national recession, restaurant patrons have lost a bit of their appetite.

People aren’t dining out as much, and independent restaurants in Cherokee County are suffering and changing to accommodate budget-wise customers.

“We are down 15-20 percent from this time last year,” said Dwayne Sneed, owner of Brother’s Restaurant in Ranger, discussing his seasonal profits. Winter is known in the industry for being slow in customer turnout; however it’s been un-seasonably slow for Sneed. He’s trying new tactics to bring in business including working with civic groups and local sports teams to draw in crowds.

When you realize how many people are losing their jobs, I guess it does make sense. I mean, McDonalds is actually getting a push in business with all this. McDonalds reported that its 2008 4Q profits were higher than normal I think it's safe to say that people stopped going to the restaurants and started hitting the dollar menu as they started to tighten their wallets.

When I think about it, it's really a tragedy. I dislike fast food. If you're not ordering from the dollar menu you'll be looking to spend around $6-8 on your combo meal and if you're already spending that much, you could at least toss in a few more bucks to get something that wasn't tossed into a microwave and taste like cardboard. I also don't want to eat in the car. If I'm going to spend money I'd at least like the quality of the meal reflect in me being relaxed enough to enjoy it.


Hello stock photo of good food!

Normally during the winter season restaurants are pretty slow in general. Last year was the start of DineLA. For a period of two weeks time many Los Angeles restaurants offered three course meals for the cost of what they normally charge for a main course. It worked out well enough that they did it again this year.

I didn't have much time to write about it as I was out there enjoying it. So while this was originally going to be a wrap up blog about the event, I come to find out that DineLA has been extended till the end of the month. You can find a list of restaurants taking part and extending the offer till the 28th. Well, they're excluding Saturdays. Especially a specific one coming up next weekend.

But that's not even an issue. Personally, I'd avoid going to restaurants on the weekend anyway. The service always suffers. They know that the majority of weekend dining is done by those who seldom ever go out any other time. Waiters care more about turning tables than provide that great service they'd give you when fewer tips are coming their way for the night. Chefs are more concerned about getting that five top's entrees out instead of coming up with something new, fresh and unique. I'm a weekday warrior all the way.


A romantic dining experience under a tree branch...

Since it's extended, this has become a DineLA Half-time report. And may I say that this is a great way to try new places without breaking the bank. So far from the few I've discovered places that I want to go to as soon as possible again.

The Foundry - A delicious assortment of treats from the albacore tartar to a Salmon skin that will make you reconsider how boring Salmon could be. Wine pairings and an atmosphere that is amazing. This describes it best:

Famed chef extraordinaire Eric Greenspan of Patina and Meson G strives to create "fine dining for the everyman" with his trendy Melrose restaurant. Unique tasting menus allow adventurous diners to sample a little bit of everything, with selections from the extensive wine list complementing each course. Live jazz performers add to the lively bar scene

Fucking AMAZING!

Ruth Chris -What can be said about Ruth Chris that hasn't been said a million times before? Amazing steaks served up amazingly hot.

Asia De Cuba - On the Sunset strip this place is surreal. With a cross shaped couch and a view of the city through a glass dining area, this is one amazing place to have a meal. The food's tasty as well with interesting fusions with desert being something amazing.

Gus's bbq - Mmmm Mmmmm.. BBQ! I'd say you should stick with the smaller beer because you'll get stuffed with their ribs.

Ocean and Vine - Meh. Didn't care much for it.

These and many more are still participating and are worth checking out. Lunch will run you around $16-28 and $26-44 for dinner depending on the place. For a starter, entree and desert at these highly rated place (minus bubba gumps....) it's a steal.


Cuban Opera... and it's not over till the fat lady sings...
cause.. you know, her mouth is over.

Considering how Hallmark Valentines day is, I say skip taking them out to dinner on the 14th. The prices will be fixed and rather expensive and your enjoyment wont be nearly as good as any other time. Getting them a great meal on a budget on any of the other days when everyone isn't doing the same thing may be a better token of your affection anyway.

And if you miss out on DineLA you don't have to worry about finding a good meal and a night on the town for a date. You can always follow the ongoing cheap date segment of this blog and if that doesn't do it, many dining establishments have been answering back to a poor economy by using cheaper deals to lure more customers in and creating something that is unique and tasty to keep them coming in.

"The winter, post-holiday, is traditionally a time when diners don't like to spend as much dining out, and this (is) especially true in the current economic climate," says Nick Valenti, CEO of Patina Restaurant Group. "We want to provide our guests with an offer that is in sync with the times."

A "Soup Kitchen Cocktail Hour" at the Edison Lounge in downtown Los Angeles on Fridays from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. provides customers complimentary grilled cheese melts and tomato soup and 35-cent Depression-era cocktails, such as the 401(k), a gin cocktail served in a half-empty glass. The lounge donates 25% of its net proceeds from the entire evening to local food banks and charities.

The "Blue Tray Special" is a hit at Luna Park San Francisco and Luna Park Los Angeles. Rotating entrees, such as the honey-glazed grilled pork chop with arugula salad and cigar onion rings (regularly $19.50) sell for $10-$12 and are served on blue cafeteria-style trays. Cocktails served in matching blue glassware are $5.

"When the economy slowed down, we did it as an experiment to see if would generate enough incremental business to make it worth it, and it has," says owner A.J. Gilbert. "People weren't spending as much money. They were trying to find deals."

So there's no reason why you shouldn't go out and Dine in L.A. With a hip new Downtown scene, delicious food all around trying to give you the most bang for your buck and the constant need of food you hunger for, there's many reasons why you should go out and have a good meal.