Showing posts with label New Orleans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Orleans. Show all posts

Monday, May 17, 2010

Dragging Your Name Through The Oil Slick

Dragging Your Name Through The Oil Slick

It's not that uncommon for bad PR to occur when you're involved in a major accident. BP, in a very ironic twist, had to deal with an oil spill on a burning oil refinery on April 20th. Yes, that's right, on 4/20 a big oil rig in the Gulf Coast was lit up and burned away, causing what is now the largest oil spill in U.S. history. Its a triumph for irony considering it started two days before Earth Day and yet it seems like one one gives a shit about it.

At first, BP's stock went down, but was then slowly climbing back up. To minimize the damage to the name, BP downplayed how much oil was actually coming out. They got called bullshit on it and it was discovered that they had pictures of the accident. So BP released two still images of the well as it leaks massive amounts of oil into the ocean.


Throughout the clean-up effort, BP has monitored the spill site around the clock using submarine-mounted cameras at the mouth of the spill. An official at Oceaneering International, the company that operates the submarines under a contract with BP, told ABC News he "could walk right down the hall and watch it, but I can't share it without BP's express permission."

Eric Smith, a professor at Tulane University's Energy Institute said that footage could help in making independent assessments of the scope of the spill. But it also could do public relations damage to BP. It has remained closely guarded and cannot be made public under the argument that it is "proprietary," according to Coast Guard officials who have received repeated requests to release the images.
It just makes you say God Damn! Who the fuck is the coast guard working for America or Britain? Fuck them. This oil is literally Mother Nature's shit spewing out into the Gulf Coast destroying much of the sea life.. But I'm sure glad BP is focused on the real issue... protecting its brand name.
Eric Smith, a professor at Tulane University's Energy Institute said that footage could help in making independent assessments of the scope of the spill. But it also could do public relations damage to BP.
Oh no, not the public relations damage! Anything but that! People might start to think BP is a bad company. What if, dare I say it, they start making up their own meanings for what BP stands for? Hmm, that sounds like a good idea.

Bad Petroleum
Buying Politicians
Burying Puffins
Broken Pipes
Bonus Payouts
Botched Plug
Blowout Prevention

Poor company, wouldn't you say? If they had to release video of the leak then everyone would know that they lied about the flow rate of the oil. We can't have any of that, now can we? I wonder if scrubbing oil off a birds feathers with Dawn® brand dish soap count as a green job or if it's just corporate shilling?



The strangest part of all this is that BP is actually one of the more, if not the most, eco-friendly of the oil companies. I do realize that saying that is sort of like picking the nicest Nazi or something. So there's not much point in all that.

I have a friend who only bought BP gas for the longest time because they claim not to put 10% corn ethanol in their gas while Shell/Exxon/Chevron/Texaco somehow do. How ever will he come out of this moral quandary after this spill? I suggested that he steal a baby from a nursery, cut it open and drain it directly into his gas tank as a means to run his car. That act alone would be more ethical than buying from BP.



I mean, you could sell your car but.. ha! Yeah right that's actually happening. I also have to laugh at all the babies on facebook who want to boycott BP as if it fucking matters at all what company you get your oil from. No matter what you do it's not like one is more ethical than the other.

You may as well buy from BP stations because you're probably buying the exact same gas from the exact same refinery it just doesn't have ethanol in it... or at least has a sticker claiming it doesn't. If you believe that then I think you're a little too gullible. The name on the station really doesn't mean shit. Every other oil company is exactly as bad as BP, so no matter where you get it from it doesn't matter. If you don't want to pay corn farmers then don't buy the ethanol shit.. but then again, your tax dollars supports those lazy fuckers anyway.



The whole concept of refusing to buy BP gas is just as effective as that idiot protest where everyone didn't buy any gas on one day and then just filled their tank the day after or day before instead. BP will just sell their gas to chevron or exxon distributors and won't even notice any difference when it comes to their pocket books.

And to clarify for all of you folks who aren't in the good ol' U.S., yes, we have brands of petrol and they make competing claims about what they do to your engine that go beyond "make it run". I'm just happy to say that almost no American gives a flying fuck about where they get their gas. iPods apps for where to get the cheapest gas are a big business. People do make a distinction based on octane rating, but other than that, they don't care that Chevron has "Techron" cause we all know that's bullshit anyway.



For you Americans, the way that anyone else deals with gas is to look at the pump and make sure it's not diesel, followed by sticking it in the hole and pumping the gas into the car. But anyhow, back to the actual story at hand here.. Gas companies and their public image. You know, I'm pretty sure that BP could actually do something about all this.. how about stopping that leak and trying to clean up the mess caused by the spilled oil?

There's certainly nothing the Coast Guard can do about this. Other than, you know, stand around on a boat going "There is fuck all we can do about this". There's really just not much that can be done about it because nobody bothered to prepare for such an eventuality. It's sad but true.



The EPA is mostly just regulatory and research and since Bush stacked them with liberty "university" grads, I doubt it's in much shape to do much of either. State environmental groups do the same thing. Rubber stamp paper work and press lawsuits for token amounts after the fuck up, if they even bother to do that. Mineral Management service has probably been specifically built for the purpose of ensuring that any private entity that wants anything, gets it fast cheap and easy as they please.

Maybe we could just wall off the gulf, jam a bunch of well pipes into the sea floor like a Capri Sun; let the oil come to us, save millions of dollars on rig constructions that wont meet safety standards anyway. While I can say I'm trying to defend BP's shitty name, what role do we really want the government to play in this besides nationalizing everyone involved?



There are some congressional hearings where everyone's going to pass the buck that will eventually decide that they can safely blame the people that made the BOP because it didn't seal the well, regardless of the fact that that wasn't the cause for shit and the probable reason it didnt seal the well was that it was damaged in the explosion, the cause of which congress probably won't give a fuck about, but had nothing whatsoever to do with the BOP. The BOP company will say hey it wasn't our fault, the BOP was out of warranty and they should have tested it better or something. It'll just go around in circles for ever and ever.

Just think of the nightmare that is going to happen because of all that? What if we just say 'Fuck it' and pretend this never happened? Then again, everyone else is way ahead of me on that one. How about we check in on CNN for the latest on that oil spill thing, is that still going on?



In other more important news, Ronnie James Dio died yesterday at age 67 from stomach cancer. And is anyone else sick of seeing Reagan's mug yet or is it just me? I've been sick of seeing it for at least 25-30 years now. Not to mention hearing about him.

I know one thing for certain though, That oil spill sure has improved my shrimpin! Because, really.. only the tasty parts of the ecosystem matter. Do you realize how fucked that Gulf Coast sea life is? And while I realize that if it doesn't have any direct use or profit for the economy it is useless, this is a capitalistic system and needs a specific mantra after all. But maybe the only other real way that people are going to grasp and understand the damage of this accident is if they see a chart on which tasty meals they're going to lose out on because of the oil killing the ocean life.



How much more clear does one have to go out of their way to describe the level of damages this has caused? Do I need to pour a bunch of dye into the dolphin tanks at sea world? If you want an idea of how absolutely fucked the Gulf Coast is, then take a look at the following video from a 2006 field trip that some high school students took to the Prince William Sound Beach, decades after it was "cleaned" after the Exxon Valdez spill. Yes! Drill, baby, drill!



I suppose it's a lot of complaining about nothing. The Gulf was pretty dead already anyway. We killed it a long time ago but seem to conveniently forget a good week or two later. Our insatiable hunger for corn and cornally-derived food products raped the Gulf Coast long before any oil spilled into the water.

To clarify that for some of you who don't realize it, the Gulf was already badly polluted from fertilizer byproducts and runoff from the flyover states making so much corn. Basically the Mississippi is the countries anus and the Gulf is our toilet.



But hey, don't worry guys... Liberal Media leader NPR reassures me that this spill is no big deal at all...
Ken Ringle points out, in a commentary in the Nieman Watchdog, that very little oil has hit shore, and that much of the oil could evaporate. Also, sea water may break up even more of the spill. The leak is a calamity, he agrees, but may prove to be far less of a disaster than expected.
Remember folks to make your pledges! Without you some of this high caliber news reporting couldn't be done. It's comical because there's all these ads about not dumping your oil into storm drains or your yard or your home becomes a contaminated area and that storm drain leads out a mile into the ocean, but you make the biggest oil spill ever and it'll just evaporate.. no big deal.

On the plus side, if you're intellectually and morally bankrupt, you could probably make some money shopping yourself around as an oil spill expert willing to say "IT'S NOT THAT BAD, WE CAN'T EVEN SEE IT!"

I guess the only thing to do now is bend mother nature over and let her take this and just buy stocks in these awful companies. Much like Exxon after Valdez, BP is on the way up again in the stock market and I'm sure if you're buying now, you're just collecting dollars for when the revolution comes as a result of these short sighted energy solutions.

But man, you thought New Orleans had it bad when Katrina went through there... Just wait till all of this is said and done and five years go by with their ecology long since dead.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

When The Saints Come Marching In... to The Super Bowl!

When The Saints Come Marching In... to The Super Bowl!

Well, I'm not a big football fan. I mean, when the fuck is the super bowl anyway (please don't send me hate mail, I actually know) but it seems that I really don't give a shit. Well, maybe I do. I like the ads. But all that boring shit between the next million dollars flushed down the toilet isn't all that entertaining.

On the other hand, Chocolate City is going to the super bowl fr the first time! Wooooo hoooo. Oh man, go saints.. Go and fucking lose! Please. I mean no disrespect, of course. It's a nice thing since New Orleans has gotten the shaft in every other meaningful indicator of civic success. Even if you don't like football, you should be a little happy that an oppressed southern shit hole is a little happier leading up to the Super Bowl.

Neither team really deserved to win and the Saints literally won that because of a coin toss. It seems that the overtime rules are just dumb as all fuck in the NFL. College needs to borrow NFL playoffs and NFL needs to borrow college OT rules. At least just for one year to see how much better shit works out when you actually play the game in a not so fucked up manner.



And how about that game. I mean, how do you go +5 in turnovers and need overtime to win. Good god, both teams were sucking badly. The game was embarrassing for everyone involved. Brett Favre should just kill himself. He got his decrepit ass owned hard. I'd like to point out that when Farve was QB for Green bay, he also threw an intercept and lost in OT during the championship. History sure does like to repeat itself. Guess it's off to the Sears commercials now. Ha!

It's pretty funny that the saints strategy in the game was obviously to hit favre as much as possible, legal or not. But hey, the Saints actually stripped the ball on most of the fumbles. So that was good on them. But yeah, the Saints won by a coin toss. Then again, the Jets should have thought harder about coin physics in lowland areas.



Maybe the Vikings should fucking learn how to call a coin toss. Here's a hint, you never call heads. Ever. Did you not learn that tails never fails? Well, at least Tails only sometimes fails. At least Favre can win the pro bowl, right? Ha. Yeah, I'm just fucking with you. Fuck that douche. Who actually gives a flying fuck about some dumb shit sport where you get to spend 4 hours watching commercials and waiting for something like Janet Jackson's tit fly out or something. It's really very boring. Have you ever been to a football game in person? Talk about boring shit.

So why do I want the Saints to lose? Because I plan on going to New Orleans this year. Specifically around the time after the super bowl and I know that it's going to be a fucking mad house for months to come if they win the Super Bowl. It'll be tearing the roof off shit and showing your tits without the need of beads. It'll be just that crazy and since this trip is part of my mission statement as well as potentially my first road trip with my potential new car, I want to make sure it's a good one. The New Orleans Saints winning the first Super Bowl they ever go to will make that a bit difficult.



So come on, Colts, I really don't give a flying fuck about you, but I do know I don't plan on visiting your shit town any time soon. So win it all and take it back home to your fuckville.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Disney Goes Back To Basics

Disney Goes Back To Basics

Today in a theater near you, Disney returns to the stuff that made them famous.. 2D animation. While we've all enjoyed the 3D and CGI fest that they have been doing, it's nice to get back to the classic 2D fun that made Disney great. Yes, the Disney Princess magic is back!

The movie takes place in Louisiana. It is consistent with all the folklore of that state. So in saying that it's pretty clear to see why the bad guy is literally a voodoo doctor. I'm sure religious groups will give Disney a lot of shit for this in itself. When will Disney make a villain that is a rich white developer set on demolishing the local teen center to make room for a gentrified strip mall.



They've been making these Disney Princess movies for almost 100 years now and there's one about Chinese, Indians and even the fish people but it took until 2010 to include blacks.. and she turns into a frog at the end of act 1. Way to go, Disney! Yup, she'll spend a good amount of time during the film as a frog, not as a black princess. What will the ACLU say about that?

Oh, it's nothing new. Disney is a vile parasitic corporation of racist, fascists, misogynists and animal abusers which has never contributed anything of any value to the world and never will.... But god damn will I be going to see this sucker!



I think people are complaining because instead of taking this opportunity to provide a positive role model for kids (black or otherwise), disney is instead choosing to play into a number of stereotypes. and in fact transform the princess so she doesn't even get to be a person for most of the movie, hardly someone a child can identify with.

Maybe I'll continue to boycott Mulan, a children's movie, because it does not address the crushing poverty experience by most rural Chinese during the Northern Wei Dynasty. But perhaps the idea that the classical Disney Princess is completely dependent on her Prince gives the wrong ideas to children.. Let's take a look at the following ad.. Oddly enough, this message is not in your average Disney Princess themed movie.



I know a couple who won't let their five year old daughter watch Disney Princess movies because none of them have mothers or something. It's true though, they generally are motherless and depend too much on daddy to do things before the Prince picks up the tab and runs with it.

Here's hoping that Tiana can actually take care of herself and be her own person without the need of the Disney Prince by her side to define her. I mean, that's the bigger concern in this film. Let's just get past that whole racism stuff. This film probably wont be as racist as Peter Pan. Then again, nothing can really be as racist as Peter Pan.



Yeah, it's bad enough that they made Splash Mountain without even acknowledging what movie all the characters are from. Hell, there's parts of Song of the South that nobody sees because they've been locked in a vault for decades. It's only if you're outside of North America can you see the full version.

This isn't a critical take on Walt Disney's lack of Black heroes. I mean, there isn't very many Spanish/Latin heroes or Disney Princesses or anything. At least Disney has never released anything like this...



But like I said, we should just move on from the whole racism stuff. Let's get to the real meat and potatoes.. the return to awesome movie posters. Call me a sucker for either red heads or mermaids, but the one that was released for the little mermaid really was something that I considered art when I was much younger.

It didn't have much in terms of big name stars listed on it. It didn't have the critical praise for it or the situation where they have large floating heads of the characters plastered on it. It was simple. It was beautiful.



That in itself is a poster worthy of framing and hanging. It's very simple in its beauty and if you saw it outside of a movie theater, you would know everything you need to know about the film and want to see it. It's a nice take on the whole movie art.

So when I see a poster like this for it, I can't help but think it looks pretty cool.. Yeah, I realize that I held back from saying "Awesome". But hey, I'm trying to be a man here... A man talking about Disney films. So with that said, the following poster for this new Disney film is pretty damn appealing.



Since this story is set in a sort of modern time.. at least modern enough that you can actually study and view the areas within a few generations of when it is suppose to take place, I wonder how much that effected the production of this. Hell, for things like little mermaid they only had swimmers to work with.



Having been to New Orleans a couple of times. Both pre and post Katrina, and considering I really haven't been to the locations or areas that the other Disney films have taken place in, I suppose that adds a new element to it. It's actually real, or real enough in that regard. So it being on American soil is something interesting that I hope will come in handy from the artist and creators of this. It's always a problem if you don't get input of the source or, in some cases, the original artist you end up things like this...

Can't blame them for how screwed up it was. I mean, I also really hate it when the person I'm kissing's face falls off and turns into moths. It's almost as horrifying as if you were to see the Disney Princesses as zombies.. Oh wait, that's been done already... I can' say that the Disney Princess brand isn't being a bit progressive.. especially if we've gotten to the point of them being able to not only fend for themselves.. but now they fiend for themselves...