I know there's none of you, but hey let's just pretend there is and call it a day. Look, I love the Pacific Northwest. I plan on going back there sometime either this year or next. Seattle is a great place. The weather is a surprising change from L.A and it's amazingly beautiful.
So with that level of sucking up I bring you something you should have seen by now. And if you haven't, then perhaps you're not into sports. But here we go... The Saints tasting a bit of Beast Mode by the Seahawks.
But you know what, that's not the biggest bomb in terms of news to come from the stadium. No sir, I bring you something more shocking, and frankly speaking as a beer drinker, more of a criminal action. I speak of course of the stadium's BEERGATE!
Yes, that's right folks. I know it comes as a shock but you're being over charged on stadium beer. F'ing shocking breaking news. I'm sure. That a stadium will rip you off when it comes to beer prices shouldn't be the news piece. I mean, I know if I go into Dodger stadium and get a beer I'm going to be charged an arm and a leg.
The real shocking thing here is that they're completely ripping you off in a new way altogether. Instead of getting more for paying for the large, you're getting the same contents as a regular. You essentially could have just ordered the regular and saved the $1.25 more that they were clearly ripping you off on.
"We received a copy of the YouTube video showing the quantity of liquid served in the 16 oz. beer cup is the same quantity that fits into the 20 oz. beer cup. This is the first time we have been alerted to this fact. Upon our internal investigation this afternoon, we discovered the cups that are marked 16 oz. hold 20 oz. of liquid. Fans who purchased a 16 oz. beer actually received 20 oz. of beer for the 16 oz. price. Fans that purchased the 20 oz. beer received the amount they purchased.We are working with Levy Restaurants to follow up with the cup vendor about the measurement and to determine how long this has been occurring at Qwest Field. We are determined to find a solution as quickly as possible. In the meantime, we will serve domestic beer in the 20 oz. cup at tomorrow's playoff game to ensure all fans receive the amount they purchase, and we will charge the 16 oz. price."
Yup.. that's Qwest field operator First & Goal Inc., in an official statement about the beer cup controversy. Why yes.. 20 oz. of beer for the 16 oz price.
The break down is simple. The company was selling "two" sizes of beer. Large and regular. The 'large' beer cost $1.25 more than the regular beer. It was later discovered that both beer sizes were of equal volume. So they were charging you $1.25 more for what was the same as regular size.
The company is contending though that they'd actually been giving everyone large beers, which means that the people who paid for the regular got more than they should have....
Talk about tying a bow around a piece of shit and calling it a present. Yeah right. It's not 16oz of beer for the 20oz price. The problem is that it's not more beer for less. It was how the cups were made so that they would appear to be two different sizes and you would think that one was larger than the other. But actually was not. Basically the volume of both cups was the same while the appearance was clearly meant to throw you off.
Yes, fine folks.. we are through the looking glass here.
So last Wednesday was the premiere of the final season of Friday Night Lights on DirecTV. In it Landry and Julie got their show send off.. Which while they'll still be season regulars, does mean that their time in Dillon Texas has come to an end and we'll probably only see them while coming back home on vacation or if there's some family drama I'd imagine.
But as it was, it was Landry's last night and Julie promised him an epic night.. which just ended up leading to the Landing Strip. So I guess it was a regular night for a Texas high school football player. A new surprise to the season was a desperate attempt to keep the Riggins boys in the picture by putting Billy Riggins as a new coach of East Dillon.
Now, for those who need a little reminder, here's who we are following in this little slice of West Texas:
Coach Eric Taylor - Former coach of the Dillon Panthers, now coach of the East Dillon Lions. Was fired from his position at the Panthers as the end of Season 3, and took the job at East Dillon to begin Season 4. Ended Season 4 by managing to pull the Lions together into a unit and manage to spoil the Panthers winning streak.
Counseler Tami Taylor - Eric's wife. Eric's rock. was principal of Dillon High during Seasons 3 and 4, only to be eventually forced from her position after advising a girl of her options following an unplanned pregnancy. Will begin Season 5 as a guidance counselor at East Dillon High.
Julie Taylor - Eric and Tami's precocious and whip-smart daughter. Had one of the great loves of her life with Matt Saracen, and through that love, found she had managed to place her heart in Dillon. Ended up turning down college for the time being because of it, as well.
Matt Saracen - The shy boy who became the heart of the Dillon Panthers and helped lead the team to a State Championship. Refused to leave Dillon upon graduation in order to take care of his grandmother and be with Julie. Following the death of his father, took off to Chicago to chase his love of drawing and painting.
Landry Clarke - FNL's comic relief, a boy who joined the football team to impress his father, and maybe the smartest character on the entire show. Lost his virginity to Tyra Collette in Season 2, was the glue that barely kept the Panthers together in Season 3, and was shifted to East Dillon High in Season 4, only to find love with Jess Merriweather and a simmering rivalry with Vince Howard. Ended Season 4 by kicking the game-winning field goal against the Panthers and was last seen heading towards Chicago, on a plane, with Saracen.
Tim Riggins - the heart and soul of Friday Night Lights as a series. Perhaps the primest example of the overgrown boy kings that much of the Dillon Panthers could be, Riggins has had an entire multi-season arc bringing us moment to moment through his emotional and moral growth. In Season 1, he was a drunk and an angry, angsty type. Through a series of collapses and restructures in his whole entire life - from his best friend being paralyzed to his brother getting married to dropping out of college and ending up as Coach Taylor's assistant on the Lions. When we last saw him, he had - in order to pay for the growing medical bills over his sister-in-law's medical bills (his brother, Billy, had - of course - knocked up his girlfriend, a stripper) and to take care of his future niece or nephew - starting running a chop shop out of Riggins' Rigs, his brother's barely-afloat garage. And that itself had collapsed, as he was arrested and opted to carry the burden of prison time himself, rather than destroy his brother's new life by admitting the truth. Was that was the last we will see of Tim Riggins? Likely not, but nobody is sure.
Luke Cafferty - The Great White Hope of Dillon, The Excelsior of Farmboys, The Lone Star King, got transferred to East Dillon (because that's where he was SUPPOSED TO BE <>), butted heads with the rest of the team - in particular, Vince - and knocked up a girl. Plus he bruised/broke his hip something awful taking care of some cattle with his dad, lied about the injury to Coach (yes, lie to your coach - a man who watched as a kid's life nearly got obliterated in one bad moment, smart move there Luke), and eventually hurt himself so bad he was taken out for the rest of the season. What's staring him in the face: a scholarship to St. Pat's, a life free from cattle rustling and farming. He's coming back a little wiser, a little more humble, and without a bum hip.
Vince Howard - QB 1. Trepidatious gangbanger. A kid torn between two worlds. Vince Howard is FNL's replacement for Matt Saracen, and his storyline is primarily responsible for the turn towards a more Wire-like view of Dillon (ironic, since we all know where the actor who plays him came from). Last we saw of him, his best friend had been shot up, and wanting revenge, he found himself riding around with some baaaaad people, all while his mother remained in rehab. In the end, though, he appealed to his better angels, despite it meaning he might be a marked man off the field as much as he is on it. But he gained the love of Jess. Equal tradeoff between revenge and acceptance? Or will this all end in tears for the man who definitely makes JD McCoy look like the whiny prat whitebread dickwad he is?
Jess Merriweather - If I didn't know better, I'd say Jess is the baby that Julie got switched with. Knows football, loves football, and is - with Julie disappearing - now the angel of Friday Night Lights. First, she guided Landry to a place of self-acceptance and confidence. Then she pulled Vince out of his own ill-thought vengeance, and is cobbling his life back together. She even - with the help of Coach - has bit by bit managed to pull her father, a man who, in the intervening years as a player to his place now as owner of East Dillon's best BBQ joint, lost all love for the game, back into the mystifying world that is high school football. Plus, she's got a sweet-ass bike to roll around on.
Buddy Garrity - the jester of Friday Night Lights, since sending his baby girl Lyla off to college, watched the sinking of something beautiful, his beloved Panthers, into the muck of greed and classism. So he told them off and went Lions on their ass, and brought together a booster club that, slowly but surely, is reinvigorating East Dillon into rallying around their team.
Becky Sproles - Despite nine billion different attempts to sleep with Tim Riggins, she got nowhere. With one meeting with Luke Cafferty, she got knocked up. That little problem got Tami forced out of her job as principal of Dillon High. Becky was the spotlight of drama on Friday Night Lights in Season 4. Last seen giving Tim Riggins one final kiss and one final talk before he shipped himself off to prison. There's still a spark between her and Luke, perhaps? Who knows where FNL's Freida-haired beauty queen will go in this final run.
Billy Riggins - Billy's still Billy. He will remain Billy until the end of time. Unless maybe Tim being a jailbird knocks some real sense into him, like a permanent version of his epiphany at the end of season 3. But then he wouldn't be Billy.
J.D. McCoy - Asshole. Talent. The Makeshift Demon of Friday Night Lights. His dad got Coach fired, Coach seeing Daddy Dearest push him around got his parents divorced, and slowly but surely he's acting out more and more. His future on the series is entirely dependent on where they go with East Dillon vs. Dillon this year, but I can't help but imagine that, after getting beaten on the field at the end of Season 4, he will grow only more into the dickwad he was born to be.
East Dillon and Dillon proper are beginning to collide - the haves and the have nots are now finding that they're pressing up against one another in ways that could lead to an explosion, emotional, physical, and social. The stakes have been raised; the general that Dillon tossed aside in an instant has managed to make a ramshackle team into possible future contenders for State.
So we're left with this final season.. and the fact that we got this far is amazing into itself. Fans of the show faced potential cancellation on so many occasions, the miracle of DirecTV's deal with NBC is probably the only good to come out of NBC's Zuckerburg rule.
Out of all of the original cast it seems like we only have 3 or so that are showing up on any regular rotation this year. We went from Matt Saracen being the main protagonist to Vince Howard in 13 episodes last season. It's only a question of what else changes within the 13 episodes this season before the end. Who we will see from the original cast. The only thing we know for certain is that we'll see it before NBC viewers ever do.
To be honest, I'm not much of a football fan and yet oddly enough I'm a huge Friday Night Lights fan and if you're not watching it, there's something wrong with you. Anyhow, without the knowledge on when the actual super bowl is, I suppose I'm talking out of my ass when it comes to the actual game. Good thing that no one actually cares about the game or the two teams playing it. We all realize that it's all about the ads that run through it.
The Super Bowl is so boring that one of the big reasons to watch it is the advertisement that runs through it. Just let that sink in for a minute. And if not for that, we all hope for some sort of train wreck in whatever Half Time show that is thrown together when you should be otherwise taking a piss or going on a beer run. Perhaps the super bowl would be better if it were just a regular football game without a 40 minute long halftime show by artists who have long since past their prime.
That's not to say that the advertisements are really any good. Super Bowl commercials are consistently awful and always have been. We've just been fooled into thinking that they're comical or outrageous enough to be talked about around the water cooler the next day. Well, if you still even have a god damn water cooler in your work place, you should have something to talk about on Monday as Focus on the Family is tossing up an ad...
In between the Dr Pepper, Doritos and Bud Light commercials airing during the Super Bowl on Feb. 7, one first-time advertiser will be pushing God's product line. Focus on the Family will air a 30-second "life- and family-affirming" television spot, featuring University of Florida star quarterback Tim Tebow and his mother, Pam, during the coverage.
The Colorado Springs-based media ministry shot the ad with the Tebows on Tuesday in Orlando, Focus spokesman Gary Schneeberger said Friday. It is set to air before and again during the CBS broadcast of the football championship from Dolphin Stadium near Miami.
Tebow and his mother will share one of their many positive personal stories, Schneeberger said, but he wouldn't reveal which one. One contender is Pam Tebow's decision to carry her son to term despite a life-threatening pregnancy in the Philippines, where she and her husband, Bob, were serving as Christian missionaries.
The 2007 Heisman Trophy winner, also known for being home-schooled, winning an NCAA championship and wearing Bible-verse citations inscribed on his game-day eye black, agreed to appear in the ad because the issue of life is one he and his family feel strongly about, Schneeberger said.
Schneeberger wouldn't say how much it cost to make the ad or the price of air time. However, TNS Media Intelligence reported Monday that 30-second Super Bowl commercial slots, which will reach an estimated 100 million viewers, are selling for $2.5 million to $2.8 million, down from last year's record price on NBC of $3 million.
Declining donations at Focus on the Family have forced the ministry to eliminate more than 275 jobs in recent years. However, Schneeberger said, the money for the Super Bowl ad is not coming out of the ministry's general fund. "Every cent for this ad was paid for by generous donors who specifically gave for this project because they are excited about this opportunity for Focus to show who we are and what we do," Schneeberger said.
Jim Daly, Focus on the Family president and chief executive, said in a statement that the Tebows' message about family comes at the right moment in the culture because "families need to be inspired."
"Tim and Pam share our respect for life and our passion for helping families thrive," Daly said. "Focus on the Family is about . . . strengthening families by empowering them with the tools they need to live lives rooted in morals and values."
So this ad, encouraging women NOT to abort even in the face of potentially deadly circumstances, is apparently not too controversial for CBS to run. On the other hand, CBS thought that this ad for the United Church of Christ was too controversial to run five years ago.
CBS and NBC both described the spot as too controversial. In a letter to the denomination, a CBS official said, ''Because this commercial touches on the exclusion of gay couples and other minority groups by other individuals and organizations, and the fact that the Executive Branch [the Bush Administration] has recently proposed a constitutional amendment to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, this spot is unacceptable for broadcast."
I could say that this is pretty darn unacceptable but I suppose I can understand it. Advertisement dollars are really low and the ads they would have at once denied, are the ones they'll be more than happy to take a dollar or two from them. Even at the cost of looking like they're favoring some anti-abortion stance. Or should I say "Pro-life", as if those who are open for free choice of a person to what they want to do with their body is "Anit-life".
I know, I know. I'm sure it comes as a surprise to no one but NFL fans are kinda conservative, so maybe it's just preaching to the converted. But if they want to run an ad about abortion, why don't they just do it during Oprah? It'll make more sense and it will be female friendly. How awkward has it been the last few years for the ads to be for Viagra or some other penis erection pill that they're trying to sell? I'm trying to watch a football game.. or at least the awful ads, not trying to see how to get my dick harder. Need advice for that? Look at the cheerleaders of each side's team. There you go. No pill involved.
Another thing that Focus on the Family will do is send books that ridicule and reproach the practice of using condoms to schools in South Africa. I hope this pregnancy thing is a gimmick and nothing more than a fad because giving birth sounds pretty disgusting. What is with the world and their need to breed and pump out babies?
Then again, this may seem like a pretty decent ad. Abortion should be stigmatized for whites considering depressed birthrates. I bet they don't run any ads during the World Cup which, by the way, is the most-watched sporting event n the world. The Super Bowl is a distant, distant second. Besides that, who the fuck who is watching the Super Bowl even gives a shit about College football star Tim Tebow.
What.a.douche!
Any team that drafts Tim Tebow is a shameful team, if I ever seen one. This will mark the one ad only time Tim Tebow will ever be on during a Super Bowl, no doubt about that. There's a high chance that these commercials backfire on Focus on the Family because everyone fucking hates Tim Tebow except for southern baptists from Florida.
Tebow, famous for his charity and missionary work, spent his spring break in The Philippines. What was he doing? Circumcizing children.
"The first time, it was nerve-racking," he said. "Hands were shaking a little bit. I mean, I'm cutting somebody. You can't do those kinds of things in the United States. But those people really needed the surgeries. We needed to help them."
Richard Moleno, a Florida graduate and aspiring doctor, said: "You could see he was really into it. He thought it was cool. I'd make a stitch, he'd cut a stitch. He got his hands a little wet in surgery."
Yup, that's right Southern Baptist, this guy likes snipping off foreskin. That alone should have him packing. Then again, I'm not sure how much time he has to Focus on the Family when he's focusing on his wife's Bikini;
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think that bikini really fits here well. She has a quasi-celebrity boyfriend, you think that she would be able to afford something that covers herself up a little more. Wouldn't want the young kids killing a human sperm by depositing it into a Kleenex. It's really going to be rough when she turns 40 and is walking around with those things smacking her in the knees.
It's as if the Christianity movement is not only fiddling while Rome burns, but they're also playing with a full Orchestra, "Onward Christian Soldiers" while the charred crossbeams fall around them. And while using the excuse that you have to make more babies seems like a perfectly logical justification to get his girlfriend to sleep with him, I simply have to wonder why anyone, including yourself, could possibly bring a child into the world in this age of post-peak energy decline.
You're simply asking for them to live through the suffering through a bad Mad Max sequel with Tina Turner. If not some incredible tax debts that we're going to leave them. You're pretty much giving the middle finger to any offspring you produce. But still, no excuse NOT to try to sleep with what appears to be the person attached to those tits that Tim Tebow is fucking dating.
Besides, isn't that the whole point of the media format. Sex sells. Those are often the more popular of the advertisements. I'm sure you'll get a lot more reaction if you saw Tim and his girlfriend practice this whole "pro-life" thing on screen. Till then, why don't they just shut up about the politics of all this and get to the sexuality filled adverts.
It's bad enough you're watching the game, stuffing your mouth full of chips and beer/soda in an attempt to avoid social interaction in a very strange socially active method. But to toss in what is the equal of a topic grenade into the middle of a football game, a show that already has two sides providing tension towards each other with fans of both teams bumping heads to see which team is better, is it all that smart of a move to bring up pro-life/pro-choice into the middle of this?
You're just asking for trouble in all sorts of levels there. Why can't the ads go back to the way they once where. Silly and mind numbing. Nothing there but something to pass the few moments while you took a piss before coming back to the game. It really is ironic that now if you want to take a piss, just do it during the game as you sure as hell don't want to miss a minute of the commercial break.
When The Saints Come Marching In... to The Super Bowl!
Well, I'm not a big football fan. I mean, when the fuck is the super bowl anyway (please don't send me hate mail, I actually know) but it seems that I really don't give a shit. Well, maybe I do. I like the ads. But all that boring shit between the next million dollars flushed down the toilet isn't all that entertaining.
On the other hand, Chocolate City is going to the super bowl fr the first time! Wooooo hoooo. Oh man, go saints.. Go and fucking lose! Please. I mean no disrespect, of course. It's a nice thing since New Orleans has gotten the shaft in every other meaningful indicator of civic success. Even if you don't like football, you should be a little happy that an oppressed southern shit hole is a little happier leading up to the Super Bowl.
Neither team really deserved to win and the Saints literally won that because of a coin toss. It seems that the overtime rules are just dumb as all fuck in the NFL. College needs to borrow NFL playoffs and NFL needs to borrow college OT rules. At least just for one year to see how much better shit works out when you actually play the game in a not so fucked up manner.
And how about that game. I mean, how do you go +5 in turnovers and need overtime to win. Good god, both teams were sucking badly. The game was embarrassing for everyone involved. Brett Favre should just kill himself. He got his decrepit ass owned hard. I'd like to point out that when Farve was QB for Green bay, he also threw an intercept and lost in OT during the championship. History sure does like to repeat itself. Guess it's off to the Sears commercials now. Ha!
It's pretty funny that the saints strategy in the game was obviously to hit favre as much as possible, legal or not. But hey, the Saints actually stripped the ball on most of the fumbles. So that was good on them. But yeah, the Saints won by a coin toss. Then again, the Jets should have thought harder about coin physics in lowland areas.
Maybe the Vikings should fucking learn how to call a coin toss. Here's a hint, you never call heads. Ever. Did you not learn that tails never fails? Well, at least Tails only sometimes fails. At least Favre can win the pro bowl, right? Ha. Yeah, I'm just fucking with you. Fuck that douche. Who actually gives a flying fuck about some dumb shit sport where you get to spend 4 hours watching commercials and waiting for something like Janet Jackson's tit fly out or something. It's really very boring. Have you ever been to a football game in person? Talk about boring shit.
So why do I want the Saints to lose? Because I plan on going to New Orleans this year. Specifically around the time after the super bowl and I know that it's going to be a fucking mad house for months to come if they win the Super Bowl. It'll be tearing the roof off shit and showing your tits without the need of beads. It'll be just that crazy and since this trip is part of my mission statement as well as potentially my first road trip with my potential new car, I want to make sure it's a good one. The New Orleans Saints winning the first Super Bowl they ever go to will make that a bit difficult.
So come on, Colts, I really don't give a flying fuck about you, but I do know I don't plan on visiting your shit town any time soon. So win it all and take it back home to your fuckville.
Wait. Does anyone even care about this shit anymore? All I know, it is a holiday where a bunch of black people put on a dashiki and sit around a circle playing the drums. And I dont need an excuse to wear a dashiki.
Kwanzaa is just another example of reverse racism. Why is there a black christmas but not a white one. When will Bing Crosby's vision of equality finally be realized. I know, I know. I'm brown. Why should I care? Might as well stuff my mouth with more Tamales and call it a day. But I say to you, good sir, NO THANK YOU! I ate enough Tamales to kill a small elephant already.
When it comes to Holidays it really should be said that you were more than likely taking a piss when they passed out celebrations if you're stuck with Kwanzaa. As best as I can figure out, it was created in 1966 and it was a seven day celebration for very generic reasons such as family, culture blah blah blah. Seriously, Festivus was created around the same time and you don't see the big movement to make it anything more than some circus side show of a celebration.
In the world of the TV sitcom "Seinfeld," Festivus is a goofy, high-tension Christmas substitute dreamt up by George Costanza's angry dad. Revelers gathered around an aluminum pole and couldn't leave until someone pinned the head of the household to the floor.
Festivus is still good for a laugh among "Seinfeld" loyalists, even 11 years after the episode was first broadcast.
Funny, but nobody's laughing much about the Festivus pole that popped up under the dome of the Illinois Capitol this week.
"I think it's a mockery," said Dan Zanoza, chairman of the Springfield Nativity Scene Committee.
"If the state's going to create a forum for religion at this time of year, which we do not approve of, this is what's going to happen," said Annie Laurie Gaylor of the Freedom from Religion Foundation.
Even the 18-year-old who created the pole isn't laughing much. State workers, he gripes, set it up too far out of the way for anyone to see.
"I'm halfway thinking about complaining about the location," Michael Tennenhouse said.
Nathan Maddox, senior legal adviser with the Illinois Secretary of State's office, says the state couldn't legally deny Tennenhouse's right to free expression.
Ha! Now that's a Holiday that if I didn't already blog about, I would do so just in honor of it making news in such a troll like fashion. But since it's already over you're going to have to wait till next year to celebrate Festivus.
What does that leave you trying to get out of work for the 26th? Well, don't bother with Kwanzaa. You'll spend half the day off trying to figure out what it even means or what you do on it. You're better off sticking with Saturnalia. A whole week of eating tons of food and worshiping Saturn sounds pretty boss. You can also say you're from across the pond and are celebrating Boxing day.
It's like Soccer in that the world celebrates it but it never caught on in the states unless you slightly alter it. To make the football/futball comparison, it's simply Christmas a day later without all the Jesus allegories. While we're out there returning gifts, they're going out and getting them.
So Happy Boxing Day. I won't even recognize Kwanzaa till Festivus gets a national holiday out of it. Sure, I don't want my banks to be closed yet another day in December, but it's all about being an equal holiday distributor in this world of ours.
Once was a writer, tho, you see words to your left, so I guess I'm still that to some degree.
You can find my scribbles and mind ranting on this and various other places as a means to keep the creative, satirical and costco talk muscles worked out.
Was once apart of the tv industry, but I'm sure the NDA's are still in effect so let's move on from that. Now I spend my time slinging beer and keeping a building in one piece.
>), butted heads with the rest of the team - in particular, Vince - and knocked up a girl. Plus he bruised/broke his hip something awful taking care of some cattle with his dad, lied about the injury to Coach (yes, lie to your coach - a man who watched as a kid's life nearly got obliterated in one bad moment, smart move there Luke), and eventually hurt himself so bad he was taken out for the rest of the season. What's staring him in the face: a scholarship to St. Pat's, a life free from cattle rustling and farming. He's coming back a little wiser, a little more humble, and without a bum hip.
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