Good Bye To Hummers!

Good Bye To Hummers!

Today GM was suppose to make a decision on if the Hummer brand name lives on (through another company buying out a lemon) or dies and gets discontinued.

DETROIT -- General Motors is postponing a decision on the fate of its Hummer brand for a "few weeks" as it works to complete a sale.

On Feb. 17, former CEO Rick Wagoner said GM would decide Hummer's future by today. Clarke told dealers that GM would have a final announcement on Hummer "in the next few weeks rather than months." CEO Fritz Henderson reiterated that timetable in a press conference today.

What can I say and good riddance to the hummer-brand vehicle, though its mostly a symbolic death anyways since they're all just re-sheet-metaled Tahoes. Yeah, yeah. I know. "If you hate hummers you hate America." whatever. I hate them. They're too big, thus making you a terrible driver on the road. If the H2 was the most American car out there, then I'll gladly be seen driving my unsafe little eurobox.

Here's hoping that no one buys it and the Hummer brand becomes a huge symbol of failure like the Edsel, only the failure involved isn't incompetence but wastefulness and conspicuous consumption



Why rationalize ever buying a Hummer? Some housewives think it's better for safety...

With the Hummer, Dr. Rapaille said: ''People told me, 'I can protect my family. If someone bumps into me, they're dead.' People love this feeling.'' One female H2 buyer told him: ''I have three kids in the car with me and no one is going to look at me as a soccer mom.''

This is simply saying that you like your car because it can kill people. How about this idea, DON'T DRIVE LIKE A FUCKIN' MORON! If you want an actual tough vehicle with ground clearance and solid build, you get an ugly-ass H1 to take your kids to soccer practice. But if you want to be a horrible upper-middle-class turd with a status symbol that barely fits in one of your 4 garage stalls, you get an H2/H3. Honestly what about the H2/H3 doesn't scream "soccer mom" or "white collar scum"


TOO BIG TO FAIL

For that matter, they weren't that much safer than any other car anyway. Just because the Army uses them doesn't mean shit in terms of its safety record. They are used in wars and are suppose to be light cargo vehicles/troop transports, which they do as well as most other vehicles of that role.

They're not, however, supposed to be combat vehicles. Despite this, a fellow by the name of Rumsfeld seems to think they're adequate for that task and uses them anyway. A high school buddy of mine went into the army and said that it was a pain in the ass to park his Hummer. Every time he would have to park it he would rather put a wheel chock under the tire and an oil pan under the engine as this was easier than getting them to not pop out of park or leak oil.



They are pieces of garbage and are completely unreliable, high-maintenance and overly complex, perfect for the US military.

I guess it shouldn't come to any surprise that this piece of shit is finally going to be put out its misery. It's like saying that plaid suit sales plummet. No shit they would. Only morons would want to wear one of those... just like only morons drive hummers.

I had a friend who worked covering the detroit auto show for a taping said all the Hummer reps were assholes in brown leather jackets with punchable faces. I can believe it.



I still don't get the appeal of riding in a limo. Let alone a piece of shit Hummer limo. What the fuck is the point. I wont even get into a regular stretched limo. Not even for a wedding or funeral, to begin with. Unless I was really drunk and drugged up. Otherwise I would feel like a real asshole.

I'm not on My Super Sweet Sixteen, so I don't need that flash to feel the need that I'm important. I already know I'm not important. No need for that flash. I can't even imagine the gas milage of the limo version of this crap.



HAHAHAHAHAH FUCK YOU, HUMMER!

The connection to military power, jingoism and supporting American imperialism fascinates me. Thus it's doubly ironious that as US imperial might diminishes, Americans are hoping the Chinese will save their Hummers. Since that is what will need to happen if the Hummer has even a prayer to stay around.

They weren't even good for the whole off road purpose. Not like anyone who owns one ever took it off the pavement anyway. They offered a false sense of security. Like walking around with a gun. You feel like a big man then. Only to find out your gun has no bullets. That's when you get fucked. That's when I laugh my ass off at you.

Shit like this just makes me laugh

It should be titled America.avi

What with the Hummer on its deathbed it makes me hope that I get a hummer on my deathbed. It'll be a lot cooler than ever owning a gas guzzling piece of shit.

Whenever I see a Hummer I have been humming this song:

I drive a Hummer; yeah, my cock's real small
Girls wonder if it's even - there at all
I drive a Hummer.. yeeeeeeeeah
Compensation, the American way

When I think of Hummers I think of that Simpsons piece. It's the sum of what all those over compensating drivers make me think. Like the short guy who buys the really tall car or that balding 50 year old who picks up the sports car to impress "the ladiez". All those cars may over shadow my little Honda but at least I'm getting good gas millage.



MPG (city)
14
MPG (highway)
18
MPG (combined)
16

This is not something you should brag about. The fuel economy on these pieces of shit are beyond awful.

In the most ironic twist of all, it seems the same stupid mentality is carried over to the newly free countries, such as Iraq. Maybe they should sell it to Iraqi's. It seems they're more than willing and able to carry on the legacy.

“I just knew there’d be a huge demand for this in Baghdad,” he said. Now Mr. Hilli and his brother Dhafir run a car dealership specializing in Hummers. It is called, in English, “Al Sultan for Trading Cars.”

An American diplomat declared that it was the biggest Hummer dealership outside of the United States, a fact that seemed too good to check. Unfortunately, Mr. Hilli has checked. “It’s the biggest one in Baghdad, though, that’s for sure,” he said.

Never mind that General Motors, Hummer’s struggling parent company, may scrap the brand or sell it to someone else.

“Iraqis love them because they’re really a symbol of power,” said Mr. Hilli, a chubby 37-year-old who could not stop chuckling. Nonetheless, he spoke with authority, since he was his own first customer.

Oh the Irony. So enjoy your patriotic symbol before it becomes something "the terrorist" latch onto.

Hitting A Brick Wall... Auto Bail Out The Windshield

Hitting A Brick Wall... Auto Bail Out The Windshield

I was told that the safest place in a car is in the passengers seat during an accident. Well, not in this crazy ride we call the economy. We just went head first into a brick wall when it looked like nothing but open road to put the pedal to the metal. Not even being in the passenger seat could help you in this case. If you didn't think we were fucked before, we are now. I recently wrote about the impending Big 3 Auto Bail out.... Well, guess what, it failed. Senate said No thanks to that idea.

I'm torn between being happy about failure of self-destructive horrible corporations but sad about the massive amounts of job loss. I have to wonder if that big Union wage didn't provide those folks enough to stash away any sort of nest egg for hard times? Like the auto companies, they can't say they didn't see this coming. The writing was on the wall since 2002. Only anyone responsible for our current troubles was too busy getting rich to care.

The problem here is that folks are willing to break eggs for omelets. Only the omelet wasn't guaranteed, and there was a way to make an omelet with a little egg substitute. No need to be printing money for the sake of giving it away.

Senator, the only way the US can stay a first world country is if everyone buys fuel-inefficient SUVs with multiple DVD players. Money pleze.
-Auto Industry CEOs

While I'm sure that doesn't make a great argument as to why they should get a bail out, I'm still confused why this one got shot down when the banking industry bail out went through with flying colors. I'm trying to understand the logic behind the Senate here but all i can come up with is JEWS. You give AIG ten times the amount of money as the big three would have to make good on their failed structured deals

When it's all said and done, why is this bad? Shitty companies that made shitty decisions are failing. Isn't this what the fabled 'free market' is all about? Laissez Fair all the way, baby!



The only thing folks can come up with is that the big 3 can't be allowed to fail because they will have a death spiral effect on the economy. The government should have had regulations in place to stop the big 3 from having so much influence on the country's economy. But they didn't. The companies should have been more farsighted and they weren't and because of it they're going to bring down a large chunk of the economy during the worse possible time for a major employer to go bankrupt.

So what happens now? There's a couple things that could happen now. Bush could let them use TARP money on this simply because he doesn't give a fuck about the GOP and he might as well not try to get 3 million people laid off. In this situation Bush would be acting like Darth Vader tossing the evil emperor down the deathstar 2's shaft. Then again, the deathstar still blew the fuck up in the end.

Or this was all a calculated move by the big three to bust up the UAW. You don't think that the flying in 3 separate private jets to beg for money wasn't calculated? They had to have balls the size of melons to think anything otherwise. So they file for chapter 11 and then in the restructuring they get a lower rate for workers busting up the Union high prices. I suppose it's clear to see that republicans realized that if the Big 3 undergo a restructured Chap. 11, they would be released from all the entitlements owed to UAW, effectively destroying the biggest union in the country.

Option three is simply to pour yourself some scotch and say "fuck it" while you let everything burn

Then there's hope;
GAS PRICES GOING DOWN FOR THE 70TH DAY IN A ROW!.

Perhaps this is what the auto industry needs. For too long people were afraid of driving those big SUVs because they sucked up gas like a Thai whore sucks up your travelers checks. So with gas prices going down many will reconsider those piece of shit cars that the big three have been trying to push on us. Why you would need the horse power to pull a full house with ease? I have no idea, but as long as that their thing gots itself a hemi, you know they'll be buying it. Remember, this is are country...


this means we'll never see an F750. when the world ends and survivors rebuild, they will know that we only made it to 650. they will know...

On the flip side they couldn't afford those big cars if they even wanted them anyway with the economy being as shitty as it is. Don't mistake me, the economy is in a bad position. I'm half expecting Northeast Ohio will have its own roving band of Somali pirates; only, they're all gonna look like Bruce Springsteen. It's been nice knowing you all, hopefully I will meet some of you again foraging for food in the wasteland of tomorrow.

One year from now i'll be eating ketchup packets to calm the hunger-migraines down while trying to tie a rabbit snare in the city park. How many cans of chef boyardee do you guys think I can get for one opossum hyde in the new economy? I realize you just pay extra for that label, but there's something in treating yourself by not going for the Kroger brand.

While on the subject, does anyone know how the fuck do you tie a bindle? The handkerchief is so tiny. I can't fit anything in there along with my can of beans. You always have to be aware of your bean situation.

I'll leave you with this final thought on that matter. I really can't believe those Senators objection to the bailout was that worker benefits were too high.