Why Hello, Mister Speaker of the Waaaaaaaaaa...

Why Hello, Mister Speaker of the Waaaaaaaaaa...

My god, have you've seen the new speaker of the house? What a fucking cry baby. I mean, seriously, I haven't seen someone cry this much since I saw the last pixar film.



Watch those three videos. You'll notice that in the second two, it's the same string of words and the same crying going on. Why I noticed these things, maybe I just don't like to see a grown man cry. Either that or I'm annoyed with the whole 9/11 cry fest.

It's pretty clear that his staff gave him crying lessons. Tons of research indicates that the republicans are seen as unemotional and calculating, so I wouldn't put it past them to resort to strategic crying.

I guess you can take it as a whole conservative weeping as a meta-narrative response to there being a black man in charge. So you can't blame it if a strong man can cry. Though, I'm guessing it has more to do with the fact that he's probably terrified on what to do and crying is the first thing that came to mind.

Or maybe he's just allergic to honesty. Then again, which politician isn't? Rim shot! If you squeeze an orange, does it not cry juice? So it shouldn't be any different with this guy.

It can't be that he actually believes the narrative that he's spewing out and isn't a bad person on purpose, right? Perhaps he just has a thyroid problem and we should all lay off the guy.

I mean, I shouldn't judge because I'm such a big baby myself, but you'd think that the guy would man up since he's in such a position of power. It's like in that Sopranos episode where the local boss cries when he's arrested at his daughter's wedding, and then no one respects him because he was balling his eyes out.

All that I'm saying is that an Alpha-reagan-male would never cry because he actually was coached for years to be a good actor. Way to lead us into the future, asshole. It's hard to be a speaker of the house when all that comes out of your mouth is Waaaaaaaah.

51st State of Mind - Puerto Rico

51st State of Mind - Puerto Rico

For all of you who are secretly looking to visit all the great states that make up this land of ours, as well as for those of you who own flags.. get ready, you may have to do some adjusting.... Why? Well because Puerto Rico may become our 51st state!

The U.S. House of Representatives will vote tomorrow on The Puerto Rico Democracy Act (HR2499), which includes the holding of a plebiscite in Puerto Rico to decide if it wants statehood. In other words to decide if Puerto Rico wants to be the 51st state of the United States of America.

Reuters reports that it is expected the House will pass the Puerto Rico statehood bill HR2499. However, we don't know what will happen in the Senate. If approved by both the House and the Senate and signed into law by the U.S. President Barack Obama HR2499 will formally consult the citizens of Puerto Rico on their preferred political status if they want a U.S. statehood or continue to maintain their current status.

U.S. is giving parental blessings for the first time in 112 years to Puerto Rico to vote for its future status.

If HR2499 is passed the government of Puerto Rico can amend its constitution and come up with a second constitution with options of U.S. statehood, current status or even an independence.

Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory since 1898. It is self-governing, but depends on Washington in matters of defense, monetary policy, immigration and customs.

The issue of people's self-determination is on the agenda and of concern to other European countries as well. Consider the frozen conflicts in Moldova, Georgia and Azerbaijan. One of the recent successful cases in the world is the case of Kosovo. The conducted a referendum and voted for independence from Serbia. Serbia has not recognized it, but the world has. There is peace now in the Balkans.

Next case may be Azerbaijan. Nagorno Karabakh, a majority Armenian populated enclave in Azerbaijan is a de facto independent republic. After seemingly endless negotiations a formula for peace is put forward by the Minsk group mediators. According to the scheme the liberated territories adjacent to Nagorno Karabakh will be returned to Azerbaijan in exchange of the latter's recognition of of Nagorno Karabakh's right to self-determination and referendum. Azerbaijan is afraid that referendum will lead to independence because the Christian Armenian population does not want to leave in the same country with Azerbaijan because of the cultural differences and past oppressions.

The move by the United States to give its paternal blessing with the passage of HR2499 for Puerto Rico status, whether its statehood or independence, may send a peace message to Azerbaijan, Georgia and Moldova to recognize the change in the global dynamics that the 21st century is the end of colonization and beginning of peace.

And there's absolutely no way this will pass the Senate. In fact, I'm taking bets on the losing spread. Just think about it for a second. It passed the house with much controversy. There's literally no way on gods green earth 100 of the world's most selfish assholes would dilute their voting power by 2 for some place that most of them couldn't even point to on a map. I mean, we all know that 100 senators will of course vote for it because the United States is a shining beacon of liberty, right?

"I choose to give more voting power to brown colored people" - No senator ever

I do wonder how many people against PR statehood could actually point it out on a map.

Puerto Whereco??? -Americans

The scary thing is that Puerto Rico, if a state, will likely put Republicans in power. They are highly conservative when it comes to social matters due to tight catholic upbringing but they also have things in there that most liberal would kill for in the states. They have a public health option but it's only given out to the poor, you can scare shitless most establishments that try to fuck with your consumer rights cause they have fully functioning and ruthless consumer rights agency called DACO.



If PR becomes the 51st state, the whole identity of the current parties in there would dissolve since the only thing that separates them from each other is their position on when it comes to statehood/independence/pragmatism.

Puerto Rico being a state and maintaining Spanish as their principle language could also have a real positive effect against "English only" and other anti-brown laws around the country targeting immigrants and Latino citizens.



Though, hasn't Puerto Rico itself voted multiple times not to become a state? Yeah, it's been over 10 years since the last vote and recent polling has been fairly even along the 'eh who cares not like they want us' or 'no fuck em' lines, and if we actually show 'hey why don't you come on in and get actual representation' to them, I'm sure they may be more positive to the idea.

So right now it's looking decent but any poll isn't a good gauge until we can get some US side reaching out to them. Not to mention the American racist. I can't even imagine what people would do if Puerto Rico actually became a state. I'm pretty sure that people in the south are still calling for the deportation of Puertoriquenos. And if they did, just imagine the tea bagger shit storm, a Hispanic state where white people can't try to force the browns out. It's their nightmare come to life.


Oh Glen Beck, you're such a moron...

So how did the voting go down yesterday in allowing Puerto Ricans to decide their own political future and relationship with the United States? The vote was 223 to 169. Rep Louse Slaughter, D-N.Y. voted present. The Republicans attempted to add provisions to the legislation that would have made English the official language of a potential Puerto Rican state.

Yes, that's right. Every Hispanic Republican is human garbage. There is no denying that. they are literally trash.

California Über Alles

California Über Alles

Face it California, we're fucked. Bent over and screwed sideways. No one's going to go out west now. Those already here.... well, if you're a state employee... um.. yeah, it's not looking good for you guys. The AFP is reporting that California will see 40,000 lays offs come Tuesday

SAN FRANCISCO (AFP) — California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said layoff notices would be sent to about 20,000 workers starting Tuesday, after legislators failed to pass a plan to help close a projected 42-billion-dollar state budget deficit.

The governor's latest threat came as legislators adjourned late Monday without approving a proposal, painstakingly negotiated by Schwarzenegger and legislative leaders, that would include more than 14 billion dollars in new taxes and 15 billion dollars in spending cuts.

"In the absence of a budget, the governor has the responsibility to realize savings any way he can," Schwarzenegger spokesman Aaron McLear said Monday.

State Senate leader Darrell Steinberg told senators to return for a vote Tuesday and vowed to lock them into the legislative chamber until a budget is approved.

"I will not allow anyone to go home to resume their lives or any kind of normal business," Steinberg said.

The short of it is that California still hasn't done shit to close that $42 billion budget hole, but hey, laying some workers off is a good start! They're talking about deck chairs on the titanic. Tax increases are not going to work too well since we already have the highest taxes in America. So the social services/education cuts are going to be massive.

I guess you could say he's going to... terminate those workers. That deficit is a real... predator... Now that's what i call a kindergarten cop-out.
Ok.. I'll stop that. This is a serious matter that demands serious attention..



I mean, they're going to keep my tax refund and give me a big fat IOU. Sure, it's not for $42 billion, but it's not like it's chump change either! Let's not forget about the thousands of not gay married couples who will not lose their sousal benefits that they were not receiving. Bet California could use all that extra income it would have got from the wedding licenses and other services marriages get taxed on.

California: we'll take away human rights based on 50%+1 of an uninformed public, but when it comes to paying our debts we gotta be really, really careful. I'm waiting for Obama to tell California to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Since he sure as fuck isn't going to bail us out. The Auto industry though... give them another 16 billion...

How about we just legalize weed already. I don't smoke it but it's seriously the answer here. Hell, it may be easier to push through than tax hikes. That's at least 2 billion right there, easy. Oh yeah, we still have Republicans existing, so we might as well kiss that idea goodbye. Cause wont anyone think of the children?



It's not that drug legalization is some instant fix to all of California's problems, but it's an obvious waste of money that damages quality of life in the state. Any other fixes would result in people being cut off from services, or people being forced to pay more taxes. Ending drug enforcement saves money AND leaves the population better off. At least for the minor drugs.

Thank god we recalled Davis and got rid of the car tax.. Oh wait. Davis was a fucking awful governor and Schwarzenegger has been rather impotent but at least he isnt a shiteating conservative-running-as-a-democrat asshole. This is all Pete Wilson's fault. Gray Davis was Pete Wilson in one of those Mission Impossible masks, if you really must know. Ok, I take that back. No one else is going to say it but I know you all are thinking it... This is all Ronald Reagan's fault.



It's a little sad but I've lived in this state for 98% of my life and I honestly can't tell you what kind of governor Schwarzenegger has been. I can't remember him doing anything completely terrible off the top of my head... Well, there was the whole teachers shit... but still, that wasn't Davis bad and it certainly wasn't Reagan bad. But I can't really remember him doing much of anything.

Maybe we elected the wrong brother. We should have elected Danny Devito. Hmm, on second thought, after working with him on Always Sunny... I think we're better off with Arnold.

Perhaps the easy answer is for California to annex Nevada or something. That would solve everything. Either that or take it to the other extreme and sell all the land that is more than 50 miles inland to Nevada, Oregon or China. Whoever would pay for it..


The I.E. in a couple of years.

At this point I'm fairly sure that in five years the most common lifestyle in California will be a combination of sustenance farming and cannibalism. The sad thing is that there's already a lot of shantytowns and tent cities in CA. This will only make them larger. The massive crime wave that we'll most likely end up seeing is going to be a little scary. Then again, that just gives me an excuse to not go into the Inland Empire again.

What CA republicans are doing is basically a mini version of what the D.C. republicans are doing. "I'm going to vote everything you put forth and when something finally does pass and fails to stop the inevitable shit storm I will blame it on democrats trying to tax people because I am a republican CA house member."


Budget crisis? TIME FOR A SLEEPOVER!

California's legislative deadlock is pretty much the reason that parliamentary systems exist and I really wish we could dissolve our government right now. Right now those state senators are unrolling the sleeping bags and gossiping about the boys and girls they like. Maybe playing a little spin the bottle and if they have enough time after doing each other's make up, they'll work on getting us a budget. There hasn't been a real budget in CA since the 1800s. It's all accounting magic and borrowed money.

Hitting A Brick Wall... Auto Bail Out The Windshield

Hitting A Brick Wall... Auto Bail Out The Windshield

I was told that the safest place in a car is in the passengers seat during an accident. Well, not in this crazy ride we call the economy. We just went head first into a brick wall when it looked like nothing but open road to put the pedal to the metal. Not even being in the passenger seat could help you in this case. If you didn't think we were fucked before, we are now. I recently wrote about the impending Big 3 Auto Bail out.... Well, guess what, it failed. Senate said No thanks to that idea.

I'm torn between being happy about failure of self-destructive horrible corporations but sad about the massive amounts of job loss. I have to wonder if that big Union wage didn't provide those folks enough to stash away any sort of nest egg for hard times? Like the auto companies, they can't say they didn't see this coming. The writing was on the wall since 2002. Only anyone responsible for our current troubles was too busy getting rich to care.

The problem here is that folks are willing to break eggs for omelets. Only the omelet wasn't guaranteed, and there was a way to make an omelet with a little egg substitute. No need to be printing money for the sake of giving it away.

Senator, the only way the US can stay a first world country is if everyone buys fuel-inefficient SUVs with multiple DVD players. Money pleze.
-Auto Industry CEOs

While I'm sure that doesn't make a great argument as to why they should get a bail out, I'm still confused why this one got shot down when the banking industry bail out went through with flying colors. I'm trying to understand the logic behind the Senate here but all i can come up with is JEWS. You give AIG ten times the amount of money as the big three would have to make good on their failed structured deals

When it's all said and done, why is this bad? Shitty companies that made shitty decisions are failing. Isn't this what the fabled 'free market' is all about? Laissez Fair all the way, baby!



The only thing folks can come up with is that the big 3 can't be allowed to fail because they will have a death spiral effect on the economy. The government should have had regulations in place to stop the big 3 from having so much influence on the country's economy. But they didn't. The companies should have been more farsighted and they weren't and because of it they're going to bring down a large chunk of the economy during the worse possible time for a major employer to go bankrupt.

So what happens now? There's a couple things that could happen now. Bush could let them use TARP money on this simply because he doesn't give a fuck about the GOP and he might as well not try to get 3 million people laid off. In this situation Bush would be acting like Darth Vader tossing the evil emperor down the deathstar 2's shaft. Then again, the deathstar still blew the fuck up in the end.

Or this was all a calculated move by the big three to bust up the UAW. You don't think that the flying in 3 separate private jets to beg for money wasn't calculated? They had to have balls the size of melons to think anything otherwise. So they file for chapter 11 and then in the restructuring they get a lower rate for workers busting up the Union high prices. I suppose it's clear to see that republicans realized that if the Big 3 undergo a restructured Chap. 11, they would be released from all the entitlements owed to UAW, effectively destroying the biggest union in the country.

Option three is simply to pour yourself some scotch and say "fuck it" while you let everything burn

Then there's hope;
GAS PRICES GOING DOWN FOR THE 70TH DAY IN A ROW!.

Perhaps this is what the auto industry needs. For too long people were afraid of driving those big SUVs because they sucked up gas like a Thai whore sucks up your travelers checks. So with gas prices going down many will reconsider those piece of shit cars that the big three have been trying to push on us. Why you would need the horse power to pull a full house with ease? I have no idea, but as long as that their thing gots itself a hemi, you know they'll be buying it. Remember, this is are country...


this means we'll never see an F750. when the world ends and survivors rebuild, they will know that we only made it to 650. they will know...

On the flip side they couldn't afford those big cars if they even wanted them anyway with the economy being as shitty as it is. Don't mistake me, the economy is in a bad position. I'm half expecting Northeast Ohio will have its own roving band of Somali pirates; only, they're all gonna look like Bruce Springsteen. It's been nice knowing you all, hopefully I will meet some of you again foraging for food in the wasteland of tomorrow.

One year from now i'll be eating ketchup packets to calm the hunger-migraines down while trying to tie a rabbit snare in the city park. How many cans of chef boyardee do you guys think I can get for one opossum hyde in the new economy? I realize you just pay extra for that label, but there's something in treating yourself by not going for the Kroger brand.

While on the subject, does anyone know how the fuck do you tie a bindle? The handkerchief is so tiny. I can't fit anything in there along with my can of beans. You always have to be aware of your bean situation.

I'll leave you with this final thought on that matter. I really can't believe those Senators objection to the bailout was that worker benefits were too high.