Friday, December 12, 2008

Hitting A Brick Wall... Auto Bail Out The Windshield

Hitting A Brick Wall... Auto Bail Out The Windshield

I was told that the safest place in a car is in the passengers seat during an accident. Well, not in this crazy ride we call the economy. We just went head first into a brick wall when it looked like nothing but open road to put the pedal to the metal. Not even being in the passenger seat could help you in this case. If you didn't think we were fucked before, we are now. I recently wrote about the impending Big 3 Auto Bail out.... Well, guess what, it failed. Senate said No thanks to that idea.

I'm torn between being happy about failure of self-destructive horrible corporations but sad about the massive amounts of job loss. I have to wonder if that big Union wage didn't provide those folks enough to stash away any sort of nest egg for hard times? Like the auto companies, they can't say they didn't see this coming. The writing was on the wall since 2002. Only anyone responsible for our current troubles was too busy getting rich to care.

The problem here is that folks are willing to break eggs for omelets. Only the omelet wasn't guaranteed, and there was a way to make an omelet with a little egg substitute. No need to be printing money for the sake of giving it away.

Senator, the only way the US can stay a first world country is if everyone buys fuel-inefficient SUVs with multiple DVD players. Money pleze.
-Auto Industry CEOs
While I'm sure that doesn't make a great argument as to why they should get a bail out, I'm still confused why this one got shot down when the banking industry bail out went through with flying colors. I'm trying to understand the logic behind the Senate here but all i can come up with is JEWS. You give AIG ten times the amount of money as the big three would have to make good on their failed structured deals

When it's all said and done, why is this bad? Shitty companies that made shitty decisions are failing. Isn't this what the fabled 'free market' is all about? Laissez Fair all the way, baby!

The only thing folks can come up with is that the big 3 can't be allowed to fail because they will have a death spiral effect on the economy. The government should have had regulations in place to stop the big 3 from having so much influence on the country's economy. But they didn't. The companies should have been more farsighted and they weren't and because of it they're going to bring down a large chunk of the economy during the worse possible time for a major employer to go bankrupt.

So what happens now? There's a couple things that could happen now. Bush could let them use TARP money on this simply because he doesn't give a fuck about the GOP and he might as well not try to get 3 million people laid off. In this situation Bush would be acting like Darth Vader tossing the evil emperor down the deathstar 2's shaft. Then again, the deathstar still blew the fuck up in the end.

Or this was all a calculated move by the big three to bust up the UAW. You don't think that the flying in 3 separate private jets to beg for money wasn't calculated? They had to have balls the size of melons to think anything otherwise. So they file for chapter 11 and then in the restructuring they get a lower rate for workers busting up the Union high prices. I suppose it's clear to see that republicans realized that if the Big 3 undergo a restructured Chap. 11, they would be released from all the entitlements owed to UAW, effectively destroying the biggest union in the country.

Option three is simply to pour yourself some scotch and say "fuck it" while you let everything burn

Then there's hope;

Perhaps this is what the auto industry needs. For too long people were afraid of driving those big SUVs because they sucked up gas like a Thai whore sucks up your travelers checks. So with gas prices going down many will reconsider those piece of shit cars that the big three have been trying to push on us. Why you would need the horse power to pull a full house with ease? I have no idea, but as long as that their thing gots itself a hemi, you know they'll be buying it. Remember, this is are country...

this means we'll never see an F750. when the world ends and survivors rebuild, they will know that we only made it to 650. they will know...

On the flip side they couldn't afford those big cars if they even wanted them anyway with the economy being as shitty as it is. Don't mistake me, the economy is in a bad position. I'm half expecting Northeast Ohio will have its own roving band of Somali pirates; only, they're all gonna look like Bruce Springsteen. It's been nice knowing you all, hopefully I will meet some of you again foraging for food in the wasteland of tomorrow.

One year from now i'll be eating ketchup packets to calm the hunger-migraines down while trying to tie a rabbit snare in the city park. How many cans of chef boyardee do you guys think I can get for one opossum hyde in the new economy? I realize you just pay extra for that label, but there's something in treating yourself by not going for the Kroger brand.

While on the subject, does anyone know how the fuck do you tie a bindle? The handkerchief is so tiny. I can't fit anything in there along with my can of beans. You always have to be aware of your bean situation.

I'll leave you with this final thought on that matter. I really can't believe those Senators objection to the bailout was that worker benefits were too high.

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