The Lottery

The Lottery

A popular new years resolution is to get rich... or die trying. I mean, that seems more like a fantasy and less of a resolution. I suppose you can boil it down to "save more money" and "invest better" as the proper new years resolution. So why is it that the lotto is ever even an option for folks? It's not investing wisely nor is it even saving you money. You're better off burning that dollar on alcohol than you are on that piece of paper with random numbers on it.

I'm not seeing the whole benefit of wasting your side cash on these things, especially when there's an economic hardship going on in the world. Besides that, what do you get out of playing these games? I'm not sure exactly. Do you think that you're destined to win something by some higher power? But oddly enough...There's a study that suggest there is something positive out of playing the lotto.



Apparently playing the lotto is actually good for something after all.. if you believe this study...

Jordan Ellenberg at Quomodocumque links to an old article he wrote about the expected value of lottery tickets. Despite the fact that the article is in Slate, it is free of knee-jerk contrarianism, and this so disturbs the fundamental order of the universe that I feel like I have to supply some of my own. I claim, therefore, that playing the lottery can be quite rational in cost-benefit terms, even if the expected monetary value of the ticket is negative, and one is risk averse. (And what God died and left expected utility in charge?)

The benefit to playing the lottery comes entirely between buying the ticket, and when the winner is revealed. During this interval, someone who has bought the ticket can entertain the idea that they might win, and pleasantly imagine how much better their life could be with the money, what they would do with it, etc. It's true that in some sense you always could just make yourself think about "what if I had $280 million?", but many people find it very hard to get their imaginations going on sheer will-power. A plausible and concrete path to the riches, no matter how low the probability, serves as a hook on which to suspend disbelief. In this regard, indeed, lottery tickets are arguably quite cost-effective. If a $1 lottery ticket licenses even one hour of imagining a different life, I don't see how people who spend $12 for two or three hours of such imagining at a movie theater, or $25 for ten hours at a bookstore, are in any position to talk.

Doesn't it make you feel sorry for the wealthy? They will never experience the joy of hoping to maybe one day get rich. Such divine pleasure from the peasant view of potential riches.

I have to say, I don't need to buy any lottery ticket to imagine what I would do if I won the lottery. It's like suggesting that one can create a meaningful and moral life without any God. I know, how insane of an idea. But I assure you, it can be done!

Essentially this writer is stating that lotteries are good because you're buying false hope. Yes, that's right. You're just $1 and some imagination away from being able to pretend that one day you will be rich!



I guess if there was a lottery pool at work I would probably throw in a dollar every now and then solely to make my co-workers shut up with the whole "You're gonna be sorry when we're all rich and you're stuck working here" bullshit that I'm sure must circulate in every office environment.

I'm pretty sure that there's a lot of excitement towards what differences will occur in your life if you win the lotto, but then the total letdown of not winning probably puts you in a depression and having faith in such a stupid savior is likely to discourage the player from taking practical steps to improve your life.

It really boils down to the fact that only suckers play the lottery. and I'm sure that's not going to stop you from playing Mega Millions for 330 million. You might as well pay the poor tax of $15. The lottery is essentially the worse possible scheme that states can do any sort of fund raising. Perhaps the only useful things Lotteries do is fund education. Ironic, wouldn't you say, that it's those who have so little education that are funding it.



It's not that I'm telling you that your dollar is better saved. I don't see the reliability behind a dollar saved, is a dollar earned. Especially when tools to work smarter now and tomorrow in and of itself cost anorexic now dollars.

This whole mentality of lotteries does fill folks up with false hope. It makes it seem that for the poor it is the only method and chance out of abject poverty. Then if they so happen to be divined into fortune they face the harsh reality that this new wealth will simply be stolen from them because they don't understand finance, and will just go in a vicious circle of capitalistic horror.



I suppose consumerism is all just a tax on the poor. But what isn't? Insurance? HA! The Stock markets? Double HA! Maybe this is all just from the annoyance of being stuck in line behind the idiots buying lotto tickets. Thinking that there's some destiny in it for them to choose the correct series of numbers that some random balls will spit out of a machine and highlight....

....And yet the Lottery has given a lot more hope to the poors than Obama has.

But speaking of that, what exactly is the hope of a lotto win? You sort of have to look at all the odds. Well, I'm glad I brought that up. For you see, you can use this handy tool to see how small they are. You essentially have a better chance of getting killed by lightning than you do of winning the lotto.



The odds of buying a lottery ticket and hitting the jackpot are the same as not buying a ticket and still winning the jackpot. Pretty trippy, don't you think? Yeah. Think about it for a few minutes. We might as well just replace lotteries with legitimate taxes and do away with robbing the poor of their money.

Or maybe we should do away with all taxes and mandatory lotteries. And by that I mean replacing all taxes with Shirley Jackson's The Lottery! Bet you didn't see that one coming, did you? Why yes, I am suggesting we replace taxation with human sacrifices. What of it?

It's That Time of The Month...

It's That Time of The Month...

Yes, it's that time of the month again... no, it's not when your girlfriend/wife/fucking lady friend won't stop whining and you're not getting any. I mean, what a frigid bitch, right? Where are YOUR benefits?! Nope, it's not that time at all, but that last part still stands, where are your benefits? Because it's another time of the month...

For UNEMPLOYMENT EXTENSIONS! or maybe they wont this time. It's hard to tell.

Digital News Report – Congress didn’t pass an extension for unemployment benefits before going on a two week break. This left almost 400,000 that are receiving unemployment benefits could see no money when they run out of their long-term benefits.

Members of the House of Representatives felt it was important to extend the unemployment benefits before going on spring break. They knew that benefits would be running out on Monday if the Senate didn’t approve the bill. Unfortunately the Senate couldn’t come to an agreement because there was a debate on how the government was going to pay for the extra benefits.

The Democrats reasoned with the Republicans that were in opposition to extending the benefits by saying that they have passed unemployment extensions three times in the past over the last two years because it was determined as emergency spending. They felt that this extension would fall under that reasoning as well and wouldn’t have to figure out a budget rule that would otherwise be required.

The Senate will reconvene one week from now and they will have the unemployment benefit extension the first matter to vote on.

I mean, maybe not this time again, indeed. I dunno. We're still very rusty at this. Perhaps we'll extend them tomorrow? Who can really tell these days? Oh wait, you mean we already extended it yesterday? Well, that's a relief.

All I gots to say to dat is, Girl, those unemployment extension look good on you. Is that horse hair? You must have paid top dolla dolla for thems, right baby? Come over here and give your sugar daddy that sweet stuff. mmm hmmm.



And here I thought the republicans would block the extensions because they be hatin' on since the health care bill passed. But hey, I'm sure you're just as shocked as I am right now that it passed. Republicans would, in an instant, keep unemployed people twisting in the breeze on account of sheer pettiness. Look at the UHC bullshit.

But who can blame them, right? Unemployment benefits are just as bad as giving money to poor/lazy people; ie SOCIALISM!!!!!! I'm actually really surprised the conservatives and teabaggers aren't overjoyed by republicans not fighting it. Oh wait, those teabaggers and conservatives are more than likely half made up of people who are unemployed.



I've never drawn unemployment but that's simply because I've never really had any option to. I mean, it's paid by your employer's unemployment insurance and from my understanding is that your employer pays for unemployment insurance with the state and the state makes the payments. If the state pays your former employee your premiums go up. If you receive unemployment benefits, your former employer has to pay higher unemployment taxes which is why they may contest your benefits. Which is a pretty big dick move after just firing you.

I have a friend who is going through the process of getting unemployment. When they first applied, their former employer supported them and they approved them for receiving checks. A week or two later, they rescinded the approval on the grounds that they didn't believe he was looking for work, despite the fact they complied with their requirements to prove such. Since then they've had to attend an appeal hearing, where a group of bureaucrats attempted to trick him into saying that he's not looking for work. He didn't, but since then there's been no change in his status.

The lesson to learn from this is basically employment commissions exist to make it as difficult as possible to get unemployment and will dick you around for no good reason.



How do we fix this? Well, I would suggest that welfare were merged into one system like Centrelink in Australia, it would help with having it to extend it in the senate... potentially. But then I realize that saying "What if it worked like in Australia..." is probably the worst way you could start a political policy proposal.

Perhaps the only real solution to all this is to just go work for the Census.

Yes, that's right. Get a government job. They don't let you go unless you really are bad. So no unemployment. On the flip side there, you gotta keep paying your workers and giving them benefits that are very expensive. Man, clearly we just don't know how to handle all this capitalism stuff. Maybe we shouldn't try to bring that to Iraq when we can't really get it down here in the states just right.

Well, at least they finally passed it

Congress passed H.R. 4851, the Continuing Extension Act of 2010, a measure to extend unemployment compensation benefits and the President has signed the bill.

The bill passed in the Senate by a vote of 59-38 and then passed in the House on a 289-112 vote. The legislation includes extensions of COBRA health care insurance benefits for laid off workers, emergency flood insurance, and the Medicare payment rates for physicians. The measure would also extend retroactively the Emergency Unemployment Compensation Program, through June 2, 2010.

Annnnnnnnnnd let the money flow!

Dear Employees: Go Home and Die, Please -Love, The Management

Dear Employees: Go Home and Die, Please -Love, The Management

Dear Esteemed peon of a pay grade lower than mine,

Today I have come to the conclusion that my executive compensation and its various bonuses are not enough to guarantee that my spoiled children can't destroy the wealth I have amassed in the first generation after my passing. To remedy the situation, measures must be taken.

<sub>Banks are using a little-known tactic to help pay bonuses, deferred pay and pensions they owe executives: They're holding life-insurance policies on hundreds of thousands of their workers, with themselves as the beneficiaries.

Banks took out much of this life insurance during the mortgage bubble, when executives' pay -- and the IOUs for their deferred compensation -- surged, and banking regulators affirmed the use of life insurance as a way to finance executive pay and benefits.</sub>

Towards this end, I have decided that is is prudent for me to profit off your deaths.

_{The insurance policies essentially are informal pension funds for executives: Companies deposit money into the contracts, which are like big, nondeductible IRAs, and allocate the cash among investments that grow tax-free. Over time, employers receive tax-free death benefits when employees, former employees and retirees die.}

This should not be taken as an encouragement to die early, especially if you are tirelessly pursuing the good of the company by working 80-hour weeks, but we do encourage you to keep yourself posted on the market situation and the retirement schedule of the senior executives so that you may pick the most opportune moment to croak.

_{Though not improper, the practice is similar to what is known as "janitors insurance," an insurance-on-employees technique that has long been controversial. Critics say the banks' insurance contracts are a way for companies to create tax breaks for funding executive pensions. And some families have complained that employers shouldn't profit from the deaths of their loved ones.}

Haters may hate but it's tax free so don't hate the playa, hate the game, yo.

What's that?

As an incentive to get employees to consent to being covered, some companies offer them a small portion of the death benefit. But the coverage may end when they leave the company.

In December, Irma Johnson accidentally received a check for $1.6 million, from Security Life of Denver Insurance Co., payable to Amegy Bank. According to a lawsuit Mrs. Johnson filed in February in a Houston state court, in 2001 the bank told her husband, Daniel Johnson, a credit risk manager who had survived two brain surgeries, that he was eligible for supplemental life insurance of $150,000, if he signed a consent form authorizing the bank to purchase an insurance policy on his life. Four months later, the bank fired him.

Mr. Johnson died from a brain tumor at age 41 in 2008. His widow and two young children received no life-insurance benefits, which the bank had canceled when Mr. Johnson left. Mrs. Johnson says her husband was cognitively disabled when he signed the consent form.

A spokeswoman for Amegy Bank, a unit of Zions Bancorp, declined to comment on the suit, but said, "Participation in Amegy's BOLI plan was completely voluntary; employees consented to participate."

Compensation time! I suppose this was more hilarious before states ATTEMPTED to change the laws on life insurance to require your consent. But efforts to rein in the practice largely have been unsuccessful, including the most recent rules Congress enacted in 2006. The rules limit companies to buying life insurance to just the top third of earners, who must provide consent. But the rules don't apply to life-insurance that employers bought before the August 2006 rules, which cover millions of current and former employees.




Companies would just take out a secret life insurance policy on you and bet on your death. Do you suppose it's a company-wide policy or that the people taking out the insurances are like "Heh, I bet Robert from accounting will die before retiring."

Maybe that's why they're planning an employee deep sea diving retreat or other dangerous activities instead of that open bar holiday party at the local hotel lobby.

The insurance industry is the first industry that needs to be completely eradicated. It's required by law that you need car insurance. I understand the logic. There's a lot of people out there that are too silly to worry about putting money aside in the event of a car accident to cover the damages of your car as well as whoever you hit and fucked up. But the whole system is beyond screwed. I'm pouring money into this fund month after month and in the end of the year I don't get any percentage back from it.

Insurance is suppose to be a "In case shit happens" fund. Well, if it doesn't happen then I should get my money back. Much like these abusive methods of taking out insurance policies on your employees. It's a real risk that you'll lose someone important to the business and you company may suffer, but to fuck them over in this method and take it out on them without telling them... Sheeeeeit, that's just wrong all around.

Then again, I'm not sure I feel entirely sorry for them. Bank employees know exactly who they're working for. It's like the conversation from Clerks about the contractors who worked on the second death star in star wars. They knew the risk in taking the job, fuck them if they get fucked over.

Bursting the Beanie Baby Bubble

Bursting the Beanie Baby Bubble

In this tough economic time it's nice to look back on yesterday's craze. It seemed like only yesterday - going to frank and sons collectible show for some cheap comics, shooting the shit with the vendors there, then suddenly these Beanie Babies come from fucking nowhere. Suddenly everyone had to have some. People were talking about how stocking up on Beanie Babies would make them rich later. How it'll be their ticket to that retirement home in Florida.

Here we are, now. Economy is struggling. Things aren't so bright in the distant, or even farther, future. But hey, maybe someone could feed the Beanie Babies back into the economy or something. Give people jobs making more Beanie Babies and hyping the shit out of them.

How did that ever happen? Full grown adults freaking out about plush dolls. Now there is no treasure. There is only plush. I'm sure it was only elderly shut-ins claiming that they were worth anything. Seriously, why would anyone pay more than a couple of bucks for a cute little seal plush doll?


Hmmm, the other items for sale are rather interesting

This ebay auction sums up the whole craze and stupidity behind it. The picture, the price, the description, it's so mind blowingly stupid. I can't believe that there was ever any time that anyone thought that this shit was anything more than a flash in the pan.

I'm sure these are the same people trying to unload their Pokemon cards. OMG, DOU HAVE A CHARIZARD??! I'm curious to see if anyone is trying to sell their POGs at this outragious price? When it comes to investments parents should not encourage their children to get into these fads other than to enjoy the game for what it is.

That's the real problem with our country right now. It's the reason why we're in the situation we're in. People grow up thinking that you can get rich quick on these things and not properly invest your money in things that would be more secure as well as yield a better return.



One worth millions, the other is the Enron of the Beanie world

I never heard anyone say that their dual land portfolio has matured quite well over the years especially my diversification into foreign mana. For those of you who aren't nerds that's Magic:The Gathering talk and no, I won't admit to playing that game... not while I have breath in my lungs.

I guess everyone knows that the Beanie Bubble collapsed because of the subprime Fuzzy Hogs. But don't worry Comic fans, one day I will sell my comic books and baseball cards for MILLIONS!!!! My many copies of the death of Superman will go for zillions!

Things like Beanie Babies are the reason everyone thinks its so easy to get rich. I mean hell, it looks so simple: have a moderately novel idea (stuffed animals, only filled with Styrofoam beads instead of stuffing), promote the hell out of it, and once it hits critical mass, it becomes a self-sustaining monstrosity of greed and wealth-generation. I suppose there must be more to it, but I'm not seeing what it is.


One worth a lot, the other not worth reading

I'm a comic fan but this sort of mentality is the reason why I hate being one. There's two extremes when it comes to picturing a comic book nerd. Some people think that it's some kid thing to do and that it has to be a waste of money. These are the same people who buy a monthly magazine at the newsstand and don't see how it's the same thing

Then there's those who think that comics are some form of investment. They see that Action comics just sold for $317,200 and think that all comics will someday be worth millions. I have no words for people like you. I guess I could suggest you keep buying those variant and foil cover issues hoping that they'll be worth something.. Guess what, they aren't and I'm glad for it.

Back in the 40's to 60's kids loved their comic books. It's no secret. They bought them at the local market and more than likely the comic was destroyed or in terrible shape long before the kid bought an issue. Once they got them home they were read and read hard. Folded up and put into their back pockets and then carried around.


He didn't give a shit about near mint/mint condition

I shouldn't have to tell you that kids didn't treat their comics well. I think I treat my comics in the same fashion. They're something to read, if I could be frank, in the crapper or while waiting in line. If I grew up in New York I would say that I would read it on the Subway, but I'll come out and be honest here, I read comics in traffic. Yes, I'm sure many of my friends who have seen me drive while reading a comic can tell you I'm honest with that statement.

Because of this comics were destroyed long before they were ever kept safe for future investment. Kids didn't think they would be worth anything. They were that innocent back then. Then mothers would throw out boxes and boxes of comic books when the kid grew out of that phase. They weren't collected at all.

This is why comics from those days that are in great shape are worth anything. Because it's just that rare to find one that wasn't destroyed and is still in good shape. It's really laughable to think that any comic book released in the last ten years would be worth much more than a couple of bucks unless it's a very special situation. Much like beanie babies, they don't go up because of sentimental value.


Ah yes, the comic collector stereotype...

I can't wait to hear about those who have beanie babies that have skyrocketed in sentimental value, thus getting a second mortgage only to have the bank reposses their sense of sentimentality.

Beanie Babies, Dilbert, and Who Wants to be a Millionaire exemplified everything wrong with the late 90s. I can't wait until 10 years from now when people will be talking about how Yu Gi Oh was. The awesome days of Juicy Drop Pops and watching Mighty B.

And it will be that day, that nostalgia has officially died.

California Is Fucked Again

California Is Fucked Again

If you need a reason to drink today, here's a big one. You may have remember when we went to hell and back to pass a budget to plug a ~$40 billion hole, the one that was signed on feb 20th? Welp here we are again:

Budget analyst sees new $8 billion deficit
The Legislature's budget analyst, Mac Taylor, declared today that the immense package of spending cuts, new taxes and loans aimed at closing the state's $40 billion budget deficit will fall short by $8 billion because the state's economy is continuing to falter.

"Unfortunately, the state's economic and revenue outlook continues to deteriorate," the Legislative Analyst's Office (LAO) said in a review of the package, which covered the remainder of this fiscal year and all of the next.

"Even in the few weeks since the budget was signed, there have been a series of negative developments. Our updated revenue forecast projects that revenues will fall short of the assumptions in the budget package by $8 billion. Consequently, the Legislature and governor will need to adopt billions of dollars in additional solutions in the coming months to bring the 2009-10 budget back into balance."

Taylor had some more bad news for the state's political leaders. Because so many of the "solutions" adopted last month are temporary, "without corrective actions, the state's huge operating deficits will reappear in future years - growing from $12.6 billion in 2010-11 to $26 billion in 2013-14."

Taylor said that to close the newly discovered $8 billion gap, the state should maximize its use of federal "stimulus" funds and "continue developing programmatic solutions, especially those his office has been recommending in recent months but the Legislature and the governor shunned in adopting their package last month.

The LAO report will renew the Capitol's partisan and ideological squabbling over spending cuts and new taxes and fuel calls on the left for even more tax increases and those on the right for deeper spending cuts. The full LAO report may be found here.

It took 21 days by my count to find $8 billion more debt. Looks like we're pretty much fucked, right? What the hell are they doing up in Sacramento, throwing money into the pacific? I guess I could blame Arnold. It's certainly not the first time an Austrian ran a state into the ground.



But the general feeling from those I talk to is that Arnold is trying but completely ham stringed by the house. When the guy who goes in on a platform of "I didn't need to take special interest money for my campaign! " Meets an entire judiciary who does, there's not a whole lot one man can do no matter how well-intentioned. And every concession he makes just further gridlocks the whole process.

Arnold would have made a good benevolent dictator, but with the seeping wall of scum on both sides of the aisle nothing's ever going to improve. If we're going to toss a scape goat to the mix we might as well pin it to Pete Wilson. He fucked things up so badly it would take an entire convoy of eunuchs to get them unfucked. Grey Davis just continued the pioneering fucking by Pete Wilson. Where else can we lay blame? Let's do the numbers.



1) republicans hard lining on any sort of tax increase with an extreme willingness to cannibalize any republican who votes for one
2) prop 13 prevents us from raising property taxes
3) we got fucked hard hard hard when the dot com bubble burst
4) then we got fucked again when the housing bubble burst
5) requires 2/3 super majority to pass budget so a few republicans (see 1) can stall process indefinitely
6) but voters can vote for any spending they damned well please with a 50% vote in an election but raising taxes again takes 2/3
7) not smart enough to have made a rainy day fund when things were good
8) people who live in California are Californians and thus retarded

A little more alarming is that Friday was Pink Slip Friday. A lot of teachers got their pink slip. So while we're finding more debt, we're also slashing public education by millions. Oddly enough we're also increasing funds to prisons by 9%. I think something is wrong with this picture. Can you tell me what it is?

Based on current spending trends, California's prison budget will overtake spending on the state's universities in five years. No other big state in the country spends close to as much on its prisons compared with universities.

But California has all but guaranteed that prisons will eat up an increasingly large share of taxpayer money because of chronic failures in a system that the state is now planning to expand.

Under a new state law, California will spend $7.4 billion to build 40,000 new prison beds, and that is over and above the current annual operating budget of more than $10 billion. Interest payments alone on the billions of dollars of bonds that will be sold to finance the new construction will amount to $330 million a year by 2011 -- all money that will not be available for higher education or other state priorities.

....

According to the May revisions of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's budget, the state will spend $10 billion on prisons in fiscal 2007-08, a 9 percent increase from last year.

Civil servants make more than rookie professional school grads. Oh, and half the state is employed as prison guards. the other half is in prison which really makes for an interesting revenue / spending problem. Nobody in social services gets paid well. Supported Living attendants get $9.50/hr.



Fuck the department of corrections and everyone involved with their budget. I can't think of a bigger waste of money other than if the prisons were run by AIG. On second thought, since they're getting so much fuckin' money they should be put to work running the prisons. I'm sure they'll burn to the ground within a month of their take over.

I'm just going to throw it out there but abolishing the death penalty in California would save the state 63.3 million. Just saying.

It's not like we're helping our own case here. Especially when California cities are buying and selling stimulus funds at a discount.



So basically, the federal government gives a city money for roads, and they sell that road money for 60% of face to another city for unrestricted cash. Imagine how bad that would be if they were trading stuff like medical or education funds.

I can sympathize. I was playing sim city and balancing the budget is really hard. in sim city putting prisons all over your shit makes you money.

As for the random pictures in this post? Well, I just want to highlight some of the better things of the state. Some of the reasons why we need to save ourselves from... ourselves.

Who Pays For Porn?

Who Pays For Porn?

Bettie Page died last month at the ripe old age of 85. She left behind the rift in the sexual acceptance in our media. While we playfully allowed it to seep into our society in a sort of acceptable level, even having time square be filled with seedy theaters filled with pornography, our society has backed off from allowing it entirely in. As is evidence of Time Square now being a Disneyland type of tourist trap.

The question on Who actually pays for porn anymore shouldn't really be questioned. I'm sure there's plenty of suckers out there who... well.. I guess don't know how to use computers? I dunno. I'm sure there's plenty of people who still enjoy ordering their porn off mail order and getting it in some non-discrete black or brown paper bag. Or perhaps they like wearing the trench coat to the local "Le Sex Shoppe" to buy whatever they're craving.



Break down on who's downloading porn...
Damn South Korea, play some Starcraft, will you?

With the ease of getting anything at your finger tips with just the mashing of your keyboard buttons it shouldn't come as a surprise that the pirating of porn is at a new time high. Or that it's finally come to the attention of those who petty their smut. So are you ready for a fight that isn't very sexy, nor does it contain pillows. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls leeeeetttttssss get reeeeeeeeeeeaady to Ruuuuuuuuumble!

FREE MARKET DEATH MATCH: YOU PORN Vs. VIVID ENTERTAINMENT

In one corner we have Vivid Entertainment. To some degree, it's a respectable adult entertainment company. They crank out many videos a year and follow whatever guidelines there is to follow in the field of.. pornography. In the other corner we have You Porn. It's pretty much the Youtube for porn. I suppose that Rule 36 is in effect there.

Either way that link is way to fucking long to write out. It's just Vivid vs Youporn going at it because Vivid wants to get its material of a free porn channel. Seems that people are getting wise to this internet thing and, well, free porn on this screen and box thing is starting to appeal to people.


High Quality Porn or Low Quality Buffy Episode (Season1)

Seems that the porn industry is losing cash left and right. It looks like not many pay for porn. In the news today......

Larry Flynt and Joe Francis were (comically?) Asking for a Government pull bail out.

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry's survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people."

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. "People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt said in the statement. "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

So far, there has been no congressional reaction to the request.

–CNN’s Chloe Melas contributed to this report

I'm just happy that I had a CNN article to quote and I hold on to my Journalistic integrity by not having to site TMZ for this story. I'm going to need as much integrity to get a pass for the next paragraph cause it's going to be... hee, what? I just have to get it out of my system.

Looks like the porn industry are in it deep. They must be hard up for cash. They're on their knees and they'll do anything. They're just in a tight spot. They put their money in the bad area and got fucked by a few investments. They took one to the face and it's just hard to swallow such tough times. But perhaps I can get behind this bailout. It would really get the industry out of a sticky situation. We should really go to their aid. They're too big to fail. They just need to offload their immediate liquid assets and then quickly merge with as many partners as possible to lower overhead.

Ok. That's it. I've got it all out of my system. How about something besides terrible puns?


Diesel SFW XXX - Watch more free videos

You would assume that the porn industry was going to die because if no one is paying you for your content then you're going to have to turn to ad revenue for profit. But it's always advertisements for other porn sites. So that makes it sound like a huge pyramid scheme. Which makes you wonder if there's any outside money other than the cash being pushed around from site to site. This is the wrong way of thinking about it.

I know a friend who did an internship for a porn site. What he learned is that if you make a form and put some tits on it, someone will put their credit card number in it. Even shit like this gets freaks putting in their credit card info. Careful, Not work safe. It sounds amazing but I can use something said about the auto and bank bail out towards porn.

This is ridiculous, these companies have continually failed to drive innovation or technology and are quickly being outclassed by the Japanese. If they can't compete let them fold, its not the onus of the tax payer to support big industry that refuses to grow with the time.

Larry Flint makes some of the worst pornography on the market and Girls Gone Wild is too sad to be arousing. These two men brought this on themselves. The quality of commercial porn is terrible all around Oh. Oh. Oh. Yes. yes. yes baby. verb my noun. oh yeeeeessss I can almost hear the mundane tone in the actors voice
oh baby I'm almost there ok I'm there.



I'm a content creator. Or at the very least I like to believe that I'm creating some sort of content. I'm really not that opposed to piracy. I read comic books online. I listen to music on the radio and I download a lot of new sounds. If I like it I support it in some shape or form. I'm thinking that this won't kill the whole porn industry. Mainstream porno is going get rolled, but fetish websites will get those strange weirdos money no matter what.

The demand for high production quality was never terribly high so the digital age meant literally everyone with a handycam and a couple spare table lamps could produce and distribute pornography that was 90% as good as the highest quality professional pornography. its socialism at work and the only losers are the bourgeois bead-throwers.

how much would it cost to produce a porno anyway?
1 nightvision camera
1 relationship

Or you can go the whole high class production method and get the following:
3 big ass lights (can be rented for a day for about $75 or so)
1 mini DV camera + tripod (near $100 rental per day of shooting)
1 editing-capable PC (chances are you can do it on your desktop PC)
Editing software (free on torrent, yay!)
1 male performer (ranging $700-1000 per day of shooting)
1 female performer (ranging $900-1500 per day of shooting)
1 Script (write it yourself, you cheap bastard)
1 Director (this would be you)
10 crewmen or so (draft friends, assuming you can use the camera yourself)
transport and make-up. I mean, no matter how pretty your performers are, the camera is merciless.
Food for the day

This is, of course, mid-end porn. You can go amateur for quite less.
1 webcam ($40) + bored girls with ok boobs or couples looking to put on a show + connection to internet ($40) = future of porn . So crass, so soulless... no craftsmanship, no spirit, no art. But then again, who is claiming this stuff is art? Those ashamed of just calling a spade a spade.



That's the thing I don't get. You see congress get all up in arms about nudity or sexual content in the media. Ever look at the news racks at your local market? I question why they allow the sale of Romance novels at the market. I suppose it's because while it's porn, it requires literacy so the moral majority is unaware of its existence.

When will I request my bail out money for this Internet comedy stuff? I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't get a dime... for... just about anything I write. I mean, there's payment somewhere involved in this, right? CURSE YOU YOUPORN!

Maybe they have it all right. I mean, if someone was willing to pay me to get naked, you're damn right I would. Hell, I've gotten naked drunk for free! What am I doing not charging? Perhaps a bail out is needed. Can we somehow use Obama's Yes We Can chant somewhere in this movement?

Yes We Came

Batmobile Lost A Wheel....

Batmobile Lost A Wheel....

I know that during the Holiday season we're suppose to let the past be the past and have all be forgotten. Well, I guess that's more New Years. Either way, the winter solstice is for peace, love and understanding.. So I'm having a hard time understanding why Chrysler CEO's were so stupid in spending 100,000 on this ad in the Wall Street Journal



Way to go Chrysler, the tax payers money hard at work! HEY FUCKTARDS, THIS IS THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE NO MONEY!

Let's go over this again. Is spending $100,000 to remind people you got bailed out despite public opposition doesn't seem very smart, but they're professionals. I'm sure they know what they're doing. Here I was tempted to plop down cash for a 2009 Dodge Challenger... Not anymore!

Way to take a shit in our stockings Chrysler. How about you spend that 100,000 on new jobs or hiring a department to come up with a car that doesn't burn gas and cause larger congestion on the road. You know, something economical and fuel efficient. Is that too hard?

Up yours Chrysler.. I'd hope for your downfall but then again, it's only a matter of time before you go broke again.

Hitting A Brick Wall... Auto Bail Out The Windshield

Hitting A Brick Wall... Auto Bail Out The Windshield

I was told that the safest place in a car is in the passengers seat during an accident. Well, not in this crazy ride we call the economy. We just went head first into a brick wall when it looked like nothing but open road to put the pedal to the metal. Not even being in the passenger seat could help you in this case. If you didn't think we were fucked before, we are now. I recently wrote about the impending Big 3 Auto Bail out.... Well, guess what, it failed. Senate said No thanks to that idea.

I'm torn between being happy about failure of self-destructive horrible corporations but sad about the massive amounts of job loss. I have to wonder if that big Union wage didn't provide those folks enough to stash away any sort of nest egg for hard times? Like the auto companies, they can't say they didn't see this coming. The writing was on the wall since 2002. Only anyone responsible for our current troubles was too busy getting rich to care.

The problem here is that folks are willing to break eggs for omelets. Only the omelet wasn't guaranteed, and there was a way to make an omelet with a little egg substitute. No need to be printing money for the sake of giving it away.

Senator, the only way the US can stay a first world country is if everyone buys fuel-inefficient SUVs with multiple DVD players. Money pleze.
-Auto Industry CEOs

While I'm sure that doesn't make a great argument as to why they should get a bail out, I'm still confused why this one got shot down when the banking industry bail out went through with flying colors. I'm trying to understand the logic behind the Senate here but all i can come up with is JEWS. You give AIG ten times the amount of money as the big three would have to make good on their failed structured deals

When it's all said and done, why is this bad? Shitty companies that made shitty decisions are failing. Isn't this what the fabled 'free market' is all about? Laissez Fair all the way, baby!



The only thing folks can come up with is that the big 3 can't be allowed to fail because they will have a death spiral effect on the economy. The government should have had regulations in place to stop the big 3 from having so much influence on the country's economy. But they didn't. The companies should have been more farsighted and they weren't and because of it they're going to bring down a large chunk of the economy during the worse possible time for a major employer to go bankrupt.

So what happens now? There's a couple things that could happen now. Bush could let them use TARP money on this simply because he doesn't give a fuck about the GOP and he might as well not try to get 3 million people laid off. In this situation Bush would be acting like Darth Vader tossing the evil emperor down the deathstar 2's shaft. Then again, the deathstar still blew the fuck up in the end.

Or this was all a calculated move by the big three to bust up the UAW. You don't think that the flying in 3 separate private jets to beg for money wasn't calculated? They had to have balls the size of melons to think anything otherwise. So they file for chapter 11 and then in the restructuring they get a lower rate for workers busting up the Union high prices. I suppose it's clear to see that republicans realized that if the Big 3 undergo a restructured Chap. 11, they would be released from all the entitlements owed to UAW, effectively destroying the biggest union in the country.

Option three is simply to pour yourself some scotch and say "fuck it" while you let everything burn

Then there's hope;
GAS PRICES GOING DOWN FOR THE 70TH DAY IN A ROW!.

Perhaps this is what the auto industry needs. For too long people were afraid of driving those big SUVs because they sucked up gas like a Thai whore sucks up your travelers checks. So with gas prices going down many will reconsider those piece of shit cars that the big three have been trying to push on us. Why you would need the horse power to pull a full house with ease? I have no idea, but as long as that their thing gots itself a hemi, you know they'll be buying it. Remember, this is are country...


this means we'll never see an F750. when the world ends and survivors rebuild, they will know that we only made it to 650. they will know...

On the flip side they couldn't afford those big cars if they even wanted them anyway with the economy being as shitty as it is. Don't mistake me, the economy is in a bad position. I'm half expecting Northeast Ohio will have its own roving band of Somali pirates; only, they're all gonna look like Bruce Springsteen. It's been nice knowing you all, hopefully I will meet some of you again foraging for food in the wasteland of tomorrow.

One year from now i'll be eating ketchup packets to calm the hunger-migraines down while trying to tie a rabbit snare in the city park. How many cans of chef boyardee do you guys think I can get for one opossum hyde in the new economy? I realize you just pay extra for that label, but there's something in treating yourself by not going for the Kroger brand.

While on the subject, does anyone know how the fuck do you tie a bindle? The handkerchief is so tiny. I can't fit anything in there along with my can of beans. You always have to be aware of your bean situation.

I'll leave you with this final thought on that matter. I really can't believe those Senators objection to the bailout was that worker benefits were too high.

Built Tough, Built Detroit Tough

Built Tough, Built Detroit Tough

But not built strong enough to balance a check book. A couple of weeks ago the big three auto companies went to Washington and asked for a hand out and left hoping for a 25 billion dollar bailout much like the mortgage companies before them. Needless to say, they got schooled in a terrible fashion.

Plans to vote on a $25 billion bailout for the "big three" automakers were scrapped by congress yesterday after discussions focused, not on how the industry will fix the problem with taxpayer money, but on how they each used corporate jets to travel to Washington DC to beg for money.

They go back to Washington to not only plead their case again, but to add to the amount they were originally asking for. Their major change was that the showed up in their companies own hybrid cars. Those same cars that they really didn't care about when they were building the large SUVs.


Think of all the jobs that will be lost.....
Oh wait, they're already gone.

There is no business that is too good to fail. These car companies saw the writing on the wall. Oil prices were set to go up for months as the value of the dollar was dropping. Continuing to build gas guzzling SUVs and pushing those cars was the last thing they should have done. These are the same companies that killed the electric car. Who never offered it for sale and limited all the release to simply being leased out.

The threat of not passing this bail out means that massive lay offs will occur in the auto industry. I call bullshit on that. Yeah, people will be out of a job. but they'll be out of a job if they get the money anyway. Do you think a bail out will allow business to run as normal? For about how long anyway? The Pontiac Solstice is made in canada and Buick is made down in Mexico. Toyota, on the other hand, is still building their cars in in Kentucky and Georgia. So it's not a matter of it being too expensive to manufacture a car in America. It just shows that it's difficult to maintain a business when all you make is crap.

Those jobs were lost long ago anyway. Hey, let's take a look at Motor City..



I wonder what Michael Moore would say?


Look at that open road




Letting them go broke is the best thing to do. Then they'll learn from their mistakes and make better business choices. Will this make them go under? Not all of them. No. I imagine that they will be crippled for a while but they'll pick themselves up by their bootstraps eventually releasing quality products.

It may very well be a tragic situation for the American economy. Just because something is tragic doesn't mean it shouldn't happen. Do you know how many beer companies have gone out of business? How about the ice man or the milk man. Those careers were lost with the fridge and while it may have been tragic, it was progress.


Is there still a speed limit if there's no residents in the residential area?

If Zenneth couldn't make a tv for under the price that the competitors should we have bailed them out? If people are making products no one wants, why should we continue funding that? We didn't bail out the pony express when the post office came to be. And we certainly didn't bail out the post office when online bill pay came in and took a huge chunk of the customers from them.

As much as I enjoy unions, I understand that the Unions in the auto industry have essentially priced their services out of the range of the U.S. consumers. They are hiding legacy prices to pay off old employees. If any sort of bail out should occur, it should be for the employees. Take whatever billion dollar bail out they would give to the car companies and just divide it up to all the employees.

I can't understand how the same company that is getting the bail out but those who bought cars from them and can't make their payments are getting those cars repossessed. Just like the mortgage companies who are still foreclosing on homes on those who made loans they couldn't pay back.

So what's the answer to all these problems with people not buying enough cars to keep these companies afloat? Clearly not a Buy 1 Get 1 free sale!


That's right. A Chicago car dealer has you ultimate buy 1 and get 1 free deal.

An Oak Lawn car dealership has started a new and unusual promotion: Buy one 2008 Chrysler Pacifica and get a second car, a 2008 PT Cruiser, for $1.
Frank Mancari started the deal on Saturday as a way to get people calling, booking appointments and visiting his Oak Lawn car lot at a time when many car dealerships are struggling to draw in customers.
"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity," Mancari said today, with an enthusiasm only a car salesman can muster. "There's no secret: the industry is slow right now. We're trying to generate activity with a great deal."
It works like this: Mancari said he wants to move the 2008 Pacificas off his lot. Those in stock are priced at $37,000 to $40,000, he said. The vehicles are larger, SUV-style, family luxury cars, he said. The PT Cruiser is also new but has low-mileage, and would give the buyer a more economical vehicle too.
"It's a great deal," Mancari said. "These are two great cars."
Mancari had five 2008 Pacificas on his lot, 4630 95th St. in the southwest suburb, Monday afternoon. Once they are all sold, the offer ends.

Just look at the bright side. This means the dealership is just trying really hard to clear space for the new stuff!. Is there even a medium sized car anywhere on that ad? They really shouldn't put the mpg on the ad, they should just say something vague like "improved fuel economy WOW!!" I can already see the ad that runs during late night tv for these car dealerships.

WHAT THE FUCK DO WE HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO BUY OUR WORTHLESS OVERPRICED, HORRIBLE GAS MILEAGE PILES OF JUNK THAT WILL FALL APART IN 2 YEARS?!

WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO?!?! DO YOU PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND THAT AMERICAN JOBS ARE AT STAKE HERE?!?!

AMERICAN JOBS. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BUY AN AMERICAN CAR

throw in two pairs of truck nuts and I'm sold! All of those shitboxes are named to appeal to red-state America, invoking a false sense of patriotism or some make-believe rustic values:
PATRIOT
LIBERTY SPORT
TOWN & COUNTRY
GRAND CHEROKEE
WRANGLER

Get rid of it all. All of it. Grand cherokee is such a tasteless name for an american car, it's like if volkswagen made a car called the majestic jew.

It's tragic when people care more about if that thing got a hemi instead of how practical it may be. Don't get me wrong, I like me a muscle car as much as the next guy, but those rides are better left for the weekend drive.


It gets both 0mph on city and highway roads

I don't even know how to drive an automatic. From what I hear it's like driving a stick, except instead of changing gears you talk on your cell phone. You just treat the gas like a "go" button don't try to modulate the throttle. If you need to go less fast mash on the brakes

As I write this a scaled down bail out is happening. Something along the lines of 15 million. I'm sure that'll last a couple of months before they come back to the well looking to squeeze blood from a stone. In the long run that's what this is. Our country is deep in the red and yet we're still lending out money. Oh how ironic.

I guess it was a given that this bail out would occur in some shape or form. Unions are big backers to the democrats, which have control of the senate right now. Not because of the jobs potentially lost but because of the money and support potentially lost in their re-election campaign.

I'm just wondering if we're going to get Roger and Me 2 out of this bailout deal?