Bareback Mountain - I Wish I Knew How To Re-elect You

Bareback Mountain - I Wish I Knew How To Re-elect You

Being hip to the latest technology crazes is one way to appeal to more demographics. The problem comes when you bring your old world terms that have taken new meaning to this technology. Doing so may very well alienate your voter base. Like how this Indiana Republican candidate tweeted something he should of thought twice about..

Twitter can get you fired and it can get you hired. It can put old friends back in touch and provide fuel for raging ego wars. And it can also put less-than-savvy politicians in the position of having to explain why they are traveling from town to town engaging in unprotected sex.

At least, that’s the impression that followers of Jon Fussle, a Republican candidate for County Commissioner in Kosciusko County, Indiana got when the Fussle tweeted yesterday:



“Barebacking,” you see, has two meanings: Riding a horse without a saddle is probably more common among middle Americans. Riding–or being ridden by–another man, without a condom, is the alternative meaning.

Indiana resident Dan Turkette pointed out Fussle’s faux pas on twitter, asking, “Sure that’s what you want to post?” To which Fussle responded, “Why? Is there some sort of innuendo I’m not aware of? Have you ever ridden a HORSE bareback before? It’s awesome.”

After three minutes of radio silence, Fussle’s twitter feed published a shocked exclamation of ignorance, confusion, and general embarrassment.



As the more prurient definition of “barebacking” does not involve a horse at all, there is a good chance that Fussle still does not understand what happened. And this is why it is dangerous for politicians to use Twitter. Or the Internet.

This is pretty funny. It's like someone sounding guilty and every time they try to explain it further, they just sound MORE guilty of the act. "I was on the back of a horse for the sole purpose of transportation, I repeat, I was NOT having sex with a horse!"

What a STICKY situation this guy is in. I could only find one video for the actual Brokeback Mountain quote and oddly enough it was on Spike.com. What the fuck, Spike. You trying to say something here? I mean, you do have every UFC show around...

Let's be honest, you've never ridden a horse bareback before? I hear it's awesome and many people claim that bareback is the only way to ride. I haven't. But that's because I always ride safe.

But since when does bareback mean only unprotected gay sex? I thought it always meant any sex without a condom for as long as I've heard it.

Maybe, just maybe I'm actually intensely interested in Kosciusko County, Indiana. Maybe after this slip of the twitter thumb Jon Fussle may take a hit in the polls. Who isn't fascinated with the race for County Commissioner, and he's just one of several candidates in a packed field.

My journalist sources inside the Kosciusko Republican Headquarters (Exit 21 next to the Holiday Ham Factory and Howard Johnson) have said that there's an even larger story waiting to be told. Apparently Bob Conley had a bunch of personal stationary printed up saying BOB CONLEY: KOSCIUSKO COUNTY COMMISSIONER before the election was even held!

Hey Bob, maybe you haven't heard this, but America is still a democracy, how about we let the people decide who gets to be County Commissioner for a change? How about that. Perhaps you can follow me on twitter for more details of this race that happened in May 2010 so he isn't even a candidate so much as some elderly man from rural Indiana who failed to win an unimportant election being unaware of the latest gay slangs.

I thank you for all the support you've given me. Keep fighting the good fight and shout out to my family, especially my mother. You carried me for 9 months, now it's my turn to carry you.

Defending The Twilight

Defending The Twilight

I have to say that I hate the fandom of Twilight. It's like a mixture of Titanic and Star Wars. Only not the original trilogy Star Wars. More like the prequels. In that it was fun for those new to the franchise and young at the time type of people, but everyone else really hated it. Which makes sense. I mean, there is a nerd hierarchy in place here. What the current standings are, I do not know. All I know is that I paid my dues and I out rank most of them. Yup, king of the mountain on this empire of shit.

I'll admit it. I watched the first Twilight movie. It was about vampires, I figured why not. It also helped that I watched the Riftrax version of it. Which is the fine folks from Mystery Science Theater 3000 making fun of the movie the whole way through. In all honesty, that was the only way I would be able to make it through the entire thing without killing myself.

God, what an awful movie. It was poorly directed, poorly written, poorly acted. The vampire mythos really got a stake driven into its heart because of it. Glittery vampires in the sun instead of burning up? What the hell?! What is this gay shit?



I mean, I can't say that Anne Rice's Vampire stories were any more manlier. They had gay vampires and did you see Brad Pitt in that film? He must have been taking it up the kiester right there and then! But at least they don't glitter and sparkle in the sunlight. What the hell is up with that bullshit? Vampires should burn in the sun. Not be a case where they look like they got into a fight with an arts and crafts basket. That's the biggest downfall to this whole Twilight thing, the future of Vampires will be determined by these tweens.

Which will be soon as there's a new Twilight movie coming out. I could research WHEN it does come out, but since I don't give a fuck and I'll more than likely realize it when the lines start forming around the block at a local theater for it, I'll just say within some time in the future. To witness how poorly acted this one will be, here's a little snippet from Comic con



That was some terrible acting. And what is up with the teenage ripping off his shirt every chance he gets. I suppose if I had a set of wash board abs and peaks that never stop, I would be showing it off to everyone as well. And while I can't complain about the romance between human/freak creature in these films because I am a fan of buffy and she not only hooked up with one but two vamppires, I'm sure she would have some self control and not date Edward. I suppose that leaves it up to Dawn to date Eddie before they split it off and he went to a different city where he opened up a P.I. Business. Right?

But then I'm reminded of the nerd food chain again by none other than Kevin Smith.



Who makes a valid point. While I may not enjoy any of these fruits of labor from the nerd pilgrimage of new vampire fans that spawn from Twilight.. What with their potential leather and gothy latex fetish when they become of legal age, I suppose I can thank the nerd works of Joss Whedon for what I have today. Thanks Joss! I'm sure I'll high five you the next time I see you.. which I think has been overdue for a while. Last time was at the Serenity screening.

It's true though. These sorts of films may be god awful, but they plant the seeds of nerdom in the youth and that's a good thing. Yes, it may be something I look down to right now, but unlike pot, this is a gate way drug into the nerd world. So I'll welcome Twilight with a hand shake into the world of Comic con. It may have ruined the show for anyone trying to get into Hall H and I'll never make the mistake of seeing any of the films from the franchise, it still introduces new nerds into the fold here. Much like Chris Rock on the whole O.J. Simpson situation, I'm not saying I would watch this shit... but I can understand.