Friday, August 6, 2010

Bareback Mountain - I Wish I Knew How To Re-elect You

Bareback Mountain - I Wish I Knew How To Re-elect You

Being hip to the latest technology crazes is one way to appeal to more demographics. The problem comes when you bring your old world terms that have taken new meaning to this technology. Doing so may very well alienate your voter base. Like how this Indiana Republican candidate tweeted something he should of thought twice about..
Twitter can get you fired and it can get you hired. It can put old friends back in touch and provide fuel for raging ego wars. And it can also put less-than-savvy politicians in the position of having to explain why they are traveling from town to town engaging in unprotected sex.

At least, that’s the impression that followers of Jon Fussle, a Republican candidate for County Commissioner in Kosciusko County, Indiana got when the Fussle tweeted yesterday:



“Barebacking,” you see, has two meanings: Riding a horse without a saddle is probably more common among middle Americans. Riding–or being ridden by–another man, without a condom, is the alternative meaning.

Indiana resident Dan Turkette pointed out Fussle’s faux pas on twitter, asking, “Sure that’s what you want to post?” To which Fussle responded, “Why? Is there some sort of innuendo I’m not aware of? Have you ever ridden a HORSE bareback before? It’s awesome.”

After three minutes of radio silence, Fussle’s twitter feed published a shocked exclamation of ignorance, confusion, and general embarrassment.



As the more prurient definition of “barebacking” does not involve a horse at all, there is a good chance that Fussle still does not understand what happened. And this is why it is dangerous for politicians to use Twitter. Or the Internet.

This is pretty funny. It's like someone sounding guilty and every time they try to explain it further, they just sound MORE guilty of the act. "I was on the back of a horse for the sole purpose of transportation, I repeat, I was NOT having sex with a horse!"

What a STICKY situation this guy is in. I could only find one video for the actual Brokeback Mountain quote and oddly enough it was on Spike.com. What the fuck, Spike. You trying to say something here? I mean, you do have every UFC show around...

Let's be honest, you've never ridden a horse bareback before? I hear it's awesome and many people claim that bareback is the only way to ride. I haven't. But that's because I always ride safe.

But since when does bareback mean only unprotected gay sex? I thought it always meant any sex without a condom for as long as I've heard it.

Maybe, just maybe I'm actually intensely interested in Kosciusko County, Indiana. Maybe after this slip of the twitter thumb Jon Fussle may take a hit in the polls. Who isn't fascinated with the race for County Commissioner, and he's just one of several candidates in a packed field.

My journalist sources inside the Kosciusko Republican Headquarters (Exit 21 next to the Holiday Ham Factory and Howard Johnson) have said that there's an even larger story waiting to be told. Apparently Bob Conley had a bunch of personal stationary printed up saying BOB CONLEY: KOSCIUSKO COUNTY COMMISSIONER before the election was even held!

Hey Bob, maybe you haven't heard this, but America is still a democracy, how about we let the people decide who gets to be County Commissioner for a change? How about that. Perhaps you can follow me on twitter for more details of this race that happened in May 2010 so he isn't even a candidate so much as some elderly man from rural Indiana who failed to win an unimportant election being unaware of the latest gay slangs.

I thank you for all the support you've given me. Keep fighting the good fight and shout out to my family, especially my mother. You carried me for 9 months, now it's my turn to carry you.