Comic Con - You'd Give Your Left Eye To Be There!

Comic Con - You'd Give Your Left Eye To Be There!

I was going to call this "Comic Con - Let's Get This Party Started" because I always feel like parties should be started up in here, you know. But I couldn't pass up the chance for this one. What made it so topical? Well, more on that later.

First.. well.. wow. First, how do you even start to talk about this years Comic con? How about long before comic con even started and the crazy folks at the Westboro Baptist Church said they were going to protest it. You know the ones, those that say God hates fags and what not. Yeah.. them. Only they didn't know what they signed up for when dealing with nerds. We don't give no fuck!

An anti-gay protest from the Westboro Baptist Church at the massive comic convention Comic-Con has been muffled by a humorous counterprotest.

The Westboro Baptist church has gained notoriety for anti-gay and anti-government protests, picketing the funerals of US soldiers, celebrating the deaths of Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger and making hate-filled diatribes against Lady Gaga, President Obama and Sweden.

But they met their match with convention-goers at the massive science fiction/comics event in San Diego, California, who countered the demonstration with witty signs, lurid costumes and mocking chants.

"What do we want? Gay sex! When do we want it? Now!" shouted members of the crowd.

Apparently the church protesters dispersed when they got completely overwhelmed by nerds and their signs. I'm glad to see people counter-protesting Westboro supporters, they are quite possibly the most vile modern christian sect. imaginable. Well, at least they aren't violent...

Though let's be honest. Fred Phelps is a pretty genuinely broken, hateful man and he's done hjs level best to infect the rest of his family with his hatred. If even half the things I've heard about him are true, then he's truly insane and with some terrifying violent tendencies. But it seems that all those violent tendencies are centered into brainwashing his children into his belief.



All of these signs made me laugh when I walked by them at con during the protest. The Odin one was really comical. Not many people have picked up the good book of thor #5, I'd say. And I completely agree that God Hates Michael Bay. I'm pretty sure he supports competent editing in films.

But this was probably the best way to deal with them. Everyone knew arguing with the WBC was useless, so they just went with overwhelming them with a heap of internet memes and nerd related humor. It was interesting to see WBC try to handle all of the senselessness directly targeted at them for a change.



And for those of you who think that the best way to deal with WBC is to not give them any attention at all and let them go away. I can't really believe there's some people who continue to pull out that completely ridiculous chestnut of "You're just giving them attention, if we ignore them they'll go away".

This tactic works in the same way as "it's just cancer! Don't give it any attention. If you just ignore it maybe it'll go away!" Because just ignoring the WBC won't have them go away. You should fight hate with love, injustice with justice. You can't out-hate people like the Phelps, so it's really the best tactic to nullify their message with just out doing their absurdity



It's rather funny that the WBC folks have the police around them at all times and they go after the folks who they are protesting against to prevent any sort of violence to happen. Though really, the whole thing was comedy at best when they just walked away.. realizing that they got out-trolled by comic con folks.

You could almost say that you would give your left eye to see that. Which is just what one person did when an argument broke out in Hall H.

Between the just ending Resident Evil: Afterlife panel and the Marvel Comics panel a fight between two fans erupted when one of them wouldn't change seats. Sadly, the scene ended in bloodshed as the argument turned violent resulting in the man who wouldn't move being stabbed in the eye with a pen.

The victim has been stretchered out and the attacker (both adults) has been removed from the convention center by police in handcuffs, his exclusive Comic-Con Harry Potter T-shirt soaked in blood.

Yes, that's right. Someone stabbed a dude in the eye with a pen so the Thor and Avenger panels had to be delayed. By Odin's Beard, is there no honor in Hall H? And why did he do it? Because the guy wouldn't change seats.



Okay, that's a little vague. Let me describe what happens in Hall H. Last year when Twilight came to con, the line for Hall H started up much earlier - the night before the panel was set to start. So now the line for it starts up extremely early, so much so that you really don't even need to book a hotel room for con anymore. You could just be homeless.

So all these people wait in line and in the morning they're allowed in. They find their seats and since the programing for the day varies, at many points people just leave. They were there to see what they wanted and they leave. So between programs/panels with the people leaving their seats for good, other people sort of move up in chairs. It's a crazy situation only made crazier.



So I'm guessing that this poor joe was saving a seat and Harry Potter fan #1 wanted it. After losing his own chair in risking to venture off and find a better one, he got pissed and they got into a fight and the pen ended up being mightier.

Ha! That's absolutely horrible that someone got stabbed in the eye over something so trivial. That's also got to be one of the worst places to get stabbed in too. Over a seat at comic con. Do you know how many jokes will be made because of this single event for however many years of comic con to come?



Then think about how prison is going to be in terms of extra levels of torment and hell when people find out that you stabbed a guy over moving up a couple of chairs to see the next panel. Then again, maybe they may think he's extra tough when he comes in with his blood stained Harry Potter t-shirt. "Stay away from that guy, he rolls with the west side Gryffindors!"

Though I have to feel for the guy who got the pen to the eye. I also received a sharp injury at comic con. I got a splinter in my fucking throat. And no, it wasn't during the panels. I actually had an amazing Thursday at the con. Finding a tron scavenger hunt piece and getting into three after parties that night.



But when Friday night rolled around I went with my friend to one City of Heroes after party at the Hardrock hotel and there they had some free food. Meat on bamboo skewers.. Which seemed like the perfect thing. I de-meated my skewer and chewed on the meat and I guess somewhere in there was a splinter and it got lodged in my throat under my tonsils. It hurt like fuck and I was in the bathroom trying to get it out for some time.

Nothing worked and I ended up just waiting till Sunday with this gag inducing stick in my mouth when I saw a doctor. Eventually got the 1cm stick out of my mouth with tweezers. Yes, that's right.. Ugh. Let me tell you, getting staked at comic con is no fun.



Ah, a splinter the size of a fucking penny stuck in the throat. Gotta love that bullshit. City of Heroes, I never played your game nor would I ever bother to.

But I still have to say that even though the two big stories of comic con were violence and stupidity in eating and protesting, there's reason for the mass migration of nerds to this convention center every year.. and sadly it's not for comics but for comic related items.

Look at the following piece for the upcoming Captain America film. It's a thing of beauty.



It's also the place were you see your comics come to life. In the form of some really scary shitty looking cosplayers (though, let's be honest - half the time it's an excuse to walk around half naked) to seeing props that will be used for future comic book summer blockbusters.

I never in my wildest imagination thought I would see the Infinity Gauntlet in person. I mean, look at this!



But even those props and what they might be used in isn't the real seller here. No, it's to see the comics come to life. And considering that this year had NO news or announcements in terms of comic books from either Marvel or DC at the biggest comic convention around, I guess the main focus had to be the films they were producing.

One of the highlight was when the Avengers finally Assembled. If there's any reason or justification for the Hall H violence that happened, it's that you get to see the cast and hear announcements for stuff that will be big news. Because hey, the Avengers did Assemble on stage.



For those of you not paying attention at home, we have;

Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury
Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark
Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson
Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow
Chris Hemsworth as Thor
Chris Evans as Captain America
Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye
Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner / Incredible Hulk

For a company that had a lot of the characters sold off to other film studios in movie rights, to get the Avengers movie off the ground and see these comic characters class is something utterly huge. I mean, it's a long way from when we first got film/tv crossovers such as this fine example of Thor vs Hulk...



That was bad and I only saw one actor in that video that looked like they belonged there. But hey, that was then and this is now. Just seeing the cast there was amazing and even though the movie is a whole two years away, it's still screams for attention.

A lot of the actors for the Avengers movie are perfect for the role. Just look at the swagger that Robert Downey jr. brings to the table. And even though Chris Evans is the poster boy for every comic book movie these days with his latest one being an Evil Ex in Scott Pilgrim, he still looks great for Captain America. Wait a minute, I think we need to stop and look at scarlet once again.



Yeeeeaaaah, That wasn't creepy at all. Anyhow, it's an entirely big boys club all up in there. What be up with that. You have Marvel Girl, Wasp, Jessica Drew, and various others to choose from and all you have is Black Widow? I guess I can't complain about that.

Though I'm a little let down about Nick Fury. I'm a huge Fury fan. I mean, look at the side image. I have a Nick Fury eye patch rocking most of the times because he's such a bad ass. Maybe I'm just waiting for them to announce a Nick Fury movie that goes back to the classic days of Nick Fury...



And I don't mean WHITE. I'm more than happy to see Sam Jackson ride a motorcycle through a wall bare chested while shooting two guns at Hydra scum. I mean, that in itself would be a movie I see four times and why the Hoff couldn't do that once in his version of Nick Fury, I will never know nor will I speculate. But that's the main reason I disliked that one.

Then there's those surprises you really can't expect but just love when they happen. Such as this surprise guest appearance to con for his first time there..



Which just brings about new questions.. such as, it took Cowboys & Aliens to bring Harrison Ford to comic con. Really?! REALLY? I know he's sort of a recluse who just doesn't want any part of the Hollywood scene, but he's played how many iconic nerd characters in films now? Han Solo and Indiana Jones alone should be reason enough for him to have visited in the past.

What? He didn't want to promote Crystal Skull? I know some people hated it, but come on.. it's Harrison Ford and this is the first time he's been at con? That just doesn't make any fucking sense. But I'll take it, I suppose. Then you have those cute moments when you just see a young kid become a life long nerd with a single question. Like this little guy asking Ryan Rynolds how it feels to be Green Lantern and saying the Oath.



So there you have it. A lot from comic con. Hopefully some expanded news on what you heard from someone else and slightly chuckled over and a lot more out of what happens in San Diego that causes us nerds to flock there like the Swallows returning to Capistrano. There's always a best/worst of comic con list but every year it's worth it for those Best.

See you next year... as well as tens of thousands of sweaty people who need a fucking shower and should know more about invading personal space!

Smack My Bitch Up

Smack My Bitch Up

If you didn't think of a Prodigy song when you read the title and just jumped tot he conclusion that I was talking about domestic violence, well then, you have been desensitized to the wonders that is domestic violence.

I was going to suggest a internet interactive game to sort of get you to feel numb to the whole domestic violence and link you to a site called HIT THE BITCH but it seems that the Danish folks have decided not to let any non-Danish people play a game where you simply smack someone around to show how "gangsta" you really are as you can read from this letter:

"Dear non-danish visitor,

Due to an extremely high amount of traffic "Hit the Bitch" has been limited to only allow users from Denmark.

However, domestic violence is a global problem, so please support the fight against it in your local country.

Thanks for your interest.

Kind regards
Children exposed to Violence at Home"

But don't worry, those of you who are scared that Children are exposed to Violence at Home can see what the exact video game was all about in this following youtube clip:



I don't know that the audience is actually people who habitually beat women. I don't speak Danish, but the message I got out of it was that cavalier talk about domestic violence, like framing it as pussy/gangsta, further enables abusers.

I know you're asking if there is more than one way to hit her. The answer is no, there's only one way... THE WRONG WAY! See, Danish people. I just made a better impact with my message than your website did.

I don't think this going to have the desired effect on the target audience. "Oh man, I used to beat women.. then I found this website allowing you to beat this chick.. couldn't get enough. I loved it.... then I got 100% gangsta and everything changed..."

Just not going to happen. Advocacy stuff almost never changes the mind of somebody all the way on the opposite side, but it can do a good job of changing opinions of those who've vet to form and solidify an opinion of their own.



The site is not a bad idea but if it were properly revolutionary than after the first time the protagonist raised his (her?) hand in a manner of disrespect to the power of the womyn, she would have chopped off his balls with a cleaver. See, that's my inner feminist coming out.

This really is not going to have a positive effect, except for helping some very disturbed individuals masturbate. I suppose I shouldn't judge. I mean, chicks insulting you in foreign languages might get some people really hot. Definitely justified to rub one out to this.. I mean, seriously, what is the dumb bitch blubbering about?

Which, after talking to a Danish friend of mine who told me what she's saying, it just makes the whole thing just so much worse. So what does she say? I'm sure you'll feel more justified in beating her black and blue

In short, she had a great night out, she danced with someone, you feel like you should decide who. The only thing smaller than your dick is your iq. If you loved me, you wouldn't hit me. Do you feel strong now?? Blah blah blah just generic stuff like that.


What kind of putz designed this? You can't even do a proper backhand. Think outside the box, Danish Violence advocacy board.

Also, you're broadcasting this to the internet? Come on, let's be honest. Most nerds will be shocked by a girl speaking to them to actually do anything to them. If anything, a lot of them will just sit there taking that emotional abuse hoping she will stop being mean to them. Then close the page, thus proving that the real bitch is the internet user...

Why doesn't this girl run away after I hit her like two times? I know, because she's in love with you! But then, why is she calling you an idiot, a fuck face and flipping you off? Well, that's cause you're abusives and it isn't a very healthy relationship.

Lastly, I just want to know how to uppercut. I already tried forward, down, forward/down + punch. God damn it, internet... God damn it, Humanity...

Modern Combat 2 - We're A Sick Nation

Modern Combat 2 - We're A Sick Nation

This post is about Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (in stores now) and the rather surprising racism contained within it highlighted by a section of game play. So that you're in the loop, early on in the game you take the role of a CIA operative who has infiltrated a Russian terrorist cell and, not wanting to risk your cover, you go along on a terrorist raid to an airport in Russia (in mother Russia, airplanes fly you!); Your crew of terrorist pals walk out of an elevator and open fire on a group of unarmed civilians murdering all of them. Tally that up to the cost of freedom.

The people scream, bleed, twist and die in a way that is frighteningly realistic. The player is expected to shoot at the civilians because, if they do not, their cover is compromised. The player is given free reign to walk through the airport terminal and pick off fleeing, wounded civilians at their leisure - it is not until you cross a checkpoint do local law enforcement officials arrive.

Activision, the publisher of COD:MW2, have said though that there will be a checkpoint where the game stops and says to the player "the following sequence has content that some players might find distressing." I have played a lot of very violent games and I feel I can say that this section of MW2 takes things to a whole new level of fucked-up. But it's okay because you can skip it...



No wait. That's exactly why it's terrible. Why give the player the ability to kill fucking innocent people in such a sick manner to prove they're with the terrorist? I've played GTA for as long as I remember, running over hookers is one thing, this is something else entirely. Take a look at this video clip of the airport scene if you can stomach that sort of thing...



As you can see, if you waited for the ending.. you did all that blood shed for absolutely NOTHING. Perhaps this is what makes it brilliant. The CIA dude gets shot in the head by the terrorist leader, basically showing that the CIA is evil, incompetent and actively elped the terrorists' cause. Just like in real life. Though, if it really was a CIA agent his gun would jam or something, the CIA is not competent enough to do these kinds of things.

But then again, most of the gamers playing this aren't going to realize this, even with this ham fisted message in their face. They'll consider the CIA agent as the protagonist and any game that the CIA agent is the "Hero" is a shameful game. If not for the before seen game play where he goes along with mass murder for the sake of information or to get in good with the terrorist. But hey, want to see that part again?


Those scenes are entirely brutal not just in concept, but the sound. That Youtube video doesn't do it justice on how sick and over the top this is. It's beyond scary. Then you have to remember that there are people who would willing do this in real life, for either faith or politics or just because they are crazy, and that real bodies, real blood, real screams, and real guns are much messier and louder respectively. Personally, I'm glad video games aren't all that realistic in the grand scheme of things. But the fact that you're numbing someone to these really just screams bad taste. There should be a game where you play as a CIA agent and do actual CIA agent stuff like checking in to a Moscow hotel room, waiting around until you are paralyzed by ennui after your 49th hour of Russian state tv, and then being informed your mission has been canceled due to bad intel



Why can't I just kill Makarov in the elevator during the airport level instead of mowing down hundrest of Russian citizens? Sure, I'll die.. maybe, but I mean, what the fuck. Are you not suppose to value the life of Russians because they aren't Americans? I think you could definitely kill all three of those dudes before they ever fired a single shot. Forcing you to go through with it would make sense if General Voldemort and Makarov were in cahoots to start the third world war, but apparently they hated each other since the beginning. So the story doesn't even make sense.

It would be an interesting social experiment if they would keep track of the average number of civilians killed in the airport level and post it on the internet. I'm pretty curious as to how horrible our youth really is.



Then again, this isn't new to Modern Warfare. The first game had a bit where you are in a bomber a few thousand feet up and you can shoot and kill people that run back to their homes from a mosque. Again, killing civilians from the safety of a bomber is OKAY AS LONG AS THEY ARE MUSLIMS.. or brown people. Hooah!

Just think of the "enemy infantryman's" last moments as they are spent in absolute terror as hell rains down around them, but to you it just looks like you're shooting at ants on the screen while you circle thousand of feet above free from any threat of harm. You and your bro share a chuckle as a tiny ant torso flies across the screen. God bless you, America.


"Hey roach, imma torture this towelhead in shorts, you go shoot someone or something"

I mean, look at that image. The black guy is just staring into space. They clearly already worked him over and got essential information out of him that we all know torture provides. In the original modern warfare, the player takes on the role of the president of an unnamed middle eastern nation. You are dragged through the streets of your former capitol city, beaten with the stock of an AK, watch unarmed prisoners be executed and are powerless to stop it. You are then knocked out and dragged to a pole in the middle of town square, tied to it and executed.

In another sequence the villain of the game detonates a nuclear bomb in the middle of a the aforementioned middle east city. You are playing the role of a Marine at this point who has confirmed his status as a hero by rescuing the pilot of a downed troop carrier helicopter when a nuclear bomb goes off. Your evac chopper crashes and you crawl through the destroyed city bleeding out until you are dead.

But the kids keep on eating this shit up. Why hey, what do you know, Modern Warfare 2, Guitar Hero 5 Among 'Tweens' Most-Wanted For Holidays

A survey published by U.S. video game specialty retailer Game Crazy this week found that 86 percent of teens and "tweens" will ask for a video game this year, with Guitar Hero 5 and the M-rated Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 among the most wanted.

AHHHHH, MOM. I WANNA PLAY SHOOTERMAN 5: FALL OF FALLUJAH!

This game is going to sell over 10 million copies and at least, AT LEAST 1/10th of those people are going to fist pump or go "Hell yeah!!" at the torture scenes. Let that settle in your mind a little. Then again, the percentage that will fist pump their arm at the airport scene is more frightening.

Then there's those that are angry that this game comes out 2 days later on steam. Which I suppose is justified question. Why should people want the game on demand without the need of putting on pants not be able to play it on the day of release? All it does is make them want to pirate the game.

Besides, who will want to play multiplayer on this piece of shit game? The multiplayer feature really is awful. Not as awful as playing as a piece of shit CIA agent killing hundreds, but still pretty bad. But for those who don't have the game in hand now and numbing themselves to the problems of their fellow man, they are playing the first mission, which is a lot of teaching Iraqi's to be self sufficient. The entire first mission is Generation Kill, The Video Game.



As much as I dislike farmville, It's not teaching people to be completely numb to the deaths of innocents or pushing the marine/military mentality. The idea that as long as there's no naked titties or dead children, people aren't going to have that much of a hard time with it.

The whole plot of this game is tons of people getting murdered because the CIA fucked up. And really, that's what the CIA does. You know, like how they'll be captured and tortured before they even get dinner because they had known the CIA agent was coming for about 3 weeks thanks to intel gathered from spies and communist sympathizers.

It's games like this that make us completely ignore the fact that ARE troops, post serving their time and without any other sort of option for career, join "security forces" like Blackwater and, well, if the news have showed us anything, they're pieces of shit. Take for example what Former Blackwater execs said: "So we killed 17 civilians and tried to cover it up."

Blackwater Said to Pursue Bribes to Iraq After 17 Died

WASHINGTON — Top executives at Blackwater Worldwide authorized secret payments of about $1 million to Iraqi officials that were intended to silence their criticism and buy their support after a September 2007 episode in which Blackwater security guards fatally shot 17 Iraqi civilians in Baghdad, according to former company officials.

Blackwater approved the cash payments in December 2007, the officials said, as protests over the deadly shootings in Nisour Square stoked long-simmering anger inside Iraq about reckless practices by the security company’s employees. American and Iraqi investigators had already concluded that the shootings were unjustified, top Iraqi officials were calling for Blackwater’s ouster from the country, and company officials feared that Blackwater might be refused an operating license it would need to retain its contracts with the State Department and private clients, worth hundreds of millions of dollars annually.

The idea of executives at a private security firm like blackwater resigning over ethical concerns is so unbelievably bizarre to me I don't know what to make of it other than these are clearly some of the most hate-able whistle blowers ever. Black Water is one of the few cartoonishly evil things in the world. There's little ambiguity about it. But I should stop referring to them as Blackwater. If I keep doing that, then their name change t XE will be a success as that name is currently not as reviled and associated with murder and corruption.

At midday on Sept. 16, 2007, a Blackwater convoy opened fire on Iraqi civilians in the crowded intersection, spraying automatic weapons fire in ways that investigators later claimed was indiscriminate, and even launching grenades into a nearby school.

Blackwater is the Soviet invasion force from Red Dawn.



Then again, I could write an entire blog the size of this one dedicated to the evils that is Blackwater/XE, let's get back on the subject here.

If you play Modern Warfare 2 unironically, you're a piece of shit. Any game that has Dick Cheney quotes when you die is something you shouldn't play. But for the sake of the argument, I played a little of it so I can complain about it with some insight on seeing evil first hand.

I was on the first mission and just got onto some mounted machine gun as a grunt in the desert. My troopmates were all cheering over some explosion and clearly they programed them to act just like military douchebags and I couldn't help it and I just fucking shot them all. I failed the mission, but left my mark. Ft. Hood. Oooooorah!



The scary thing is that apparently there were Army Recruiters at various midnight release lines. This fucking country, I tell you. Cause what the military really needs are the kind of people that line up at midnight for an Xbox game. Let this be a reminder that the army literally uses call of duty to entice kids to sign up.

Who the fuck plays this game and thinks "Hmm, yes, I'd like to do this in real life." How exactly is this any good in promoting the army? You die like once every five minutes in these video games. I hope that anyone who really feels the need to join after playing this game falls cock-first on an IED.



Video games that recreate the horrors of actual historical conflicts and attempt turn them into fun point grabbing adventures are morally abhorrent. I could just picture the young grandson sitting the living room with his grandpa with the xbox on:

"hey gramps remember when you stormed the beaches and watched your best friend die? Well if you weren't satisfied with only being dragged back to that terrible event in your nightmares you can now watch me play it on the big screen during the day. Did your buddy die on this part of the beach or that part? Where was it the shrapnel gave you a permanent limp? Watch me stab that guy in the gut, oh I know he's on our side, but I'm just having fun"

Modern Warfare 2 is neocon American flag waving piece of shit that puts the show 24 to shame in terms of ridiculousness. Basically the story is 50% red dawn and 50% kill-random-brown-people served with torture sauce. With moralistic quotes from kleptocrats such as Dick Cheney and Donald motherfucking Rumsfeld, this should be banned for more reasons other than "it'll turn your kids into terrorist."

This game is seriously terrifying. So much so that it's hard for me to accept this as anything but parody. But that's the sad part. It's not parody. It's not any sort of satire. It's really scary to think that anyone would have fun playing a game like this. I can only wait for Modern Combat 3 for when we get more Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Featuring actions such as Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks

Woman Beats Armed Snake To Death

Woman Beats Armed Snake To Death

I woke up today and thought to myself SHIT, I'M LATE FOR WORK! but besides the fact that I was late for work, I thought to myself that I haven't done any news pieces that actually mattered. Sure, I was covering a lot of the stupid pop culture stuff with the Kanye West shit and then there's always the Health Care and Homosexual sides that I cover which... let's put it this way, are pretty old hat for this blog, right? So I went out and looked for the best story that would give me that sense of journalistic integrity.. Sadly I only came back with this.

Women Beats Armed Snake To Death.

An elderly Chinese woman who discovered a snake with a clawed hand protruding from its body was so scared she beat it to death, according to reports.

Xiu Qiong Duan, 68, told the SINA Beijing news agency she woke up in the middle of the night to find the snake clinging to the wall of her bedroom.

"I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound ... at first I thought it was thieves" she said.

"I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw."

Ms Duan, from Suining in southwest China, said she then grabbed a shoe and beat the snake to death.

She reportedly preserved its body in a bottle of alcohol which she gave to the Life Sciences Department at China's West Normal University in Nanchang.

Snake expert Long Shuai said the discovery of the creature, which is 40cm long and the thickness of a little finger, was "truly shocking".

"We won't know the cause until we've conducted an autopsy," she said.

You thought I was joking with the title? It may sound like a pun but it's the god honest truth. Look at that snake, it has a fucking arm. One specifically. And she did beat it to death. Beat it to death gooooood!



I think I speak for everyone when I say that this scares the living shit out of me. It does sound like it has eaten something that has punched it's way out of the snake's side, but no... it's an arm on a snake and it used it to make its way along a wall. Run for your fucking life, the shit just got real and I wont be sleeping tonight. It's clearly a thing from your nightmares.

You decide. Caused by Toxic waste or just a bizarre mutation due to evolution? What's next? Spiders with Wings? How about if sharks grew legs? That would be freaky. I suppose if sharks ever started to walk on land in our lifetime, mine would be cut short. With a bullet. Half of me wants to burn it with fire. The other half thinks it's kind of cool. Like a real-life Trogdor. Burninating the countryside.... TROGDOR!!!!!!



Let's see if we can make some sense about this via religion. If God took away legs from snakes as punishment for sins, is a snake with leg(s) a holy snake? Man, if that's the case, this lady doesn't know what she is dealing with.

As a scientifically minded person, I'd like to say that if I had seen that thing in my house that I would have made every attempt to capture it so it could contribute to finding in biology but in reality I would have screamed like a little girl and battered it into a paste with a shovel. When I start shovelin' at something, I don't stop until I'm sure it's dead.


It was the one-armed snake

Then again, that hand looks so inviting. As if it's something you want to just high-five. Once I get past the fear that it's causing, I do sort of want to high-five that snake. I mean, how does a snake grow an arm anyway? I know you may not have paid attention during school, but that doesn't mean we all were sleeping in class or passing notes to Marisol trying to ask them out...

Snapping out of it now, here's how it works. Snakes have dormant genes for both arms and legs. In rare instances they may activate. It's a process called Atavism. While uncommon, yes, snakes have been known to show up with legs every now and then, but I don't know if they're usually was well formed as the one in this story. So yes, it's called atavism.


Not cool... lady.

At the end of it all, I don't think anyone of you would have done anything different. You see an armed snake in your place, you're running in horror. Even without the arm, you'll be running like a pussy or throwing knives at it. It clearly has to be a horrible demon mutant from hell and murder is the only valid response.

But it does bring to light a good question. Would this have happened if the snake was armed... Oh wait. har har.

The Grim Reality Portrayed in Urban Lifestyle.According To 50 Cent

The Grim Reality Portrayed in Urban Lifestyle According To 50 Cent

Here we are on Day one of E3. Which is just the mecca of all gaming. It's been a while since I've really been into gaming. I once help run a cyber cafe and well, maybe it was the endless hours of playing counter strike that just made me numb to it all, but I don't have that in me any more. Don't get me wrong, I still play a lot of video games from time to time. But I've found my taste change.

While I'm used to the over the top action and violence in today's gaming world, I still am a bit surprised by the style of games these days. I played the hell out of Grand Theft Auto back in my day, but even I have some limits. So when I saw this game come to light, well, I was just a bit confused on what exactly allowed it to get released:




I'm talking about the above game staring 50 cent. Yes, I too had higher hopes for a product designed for immature and childish adults. Maybe it's the option in the game that allows you to give you more points for randomly cussing more and more. It really comes across as a cheap gears of war where the appeal is that you get to make fifty cents swear while killing arabs.

I mean, I can't exactly figure out who the target audience for this is, maybe it's super white people that have fantasies about how black rappers are all thugs? Maybe it's Republicans? 50 Cent has become an American folk hero similar to Jack Bauer. Every culture in times of war needs it's hero mythology. 50 Cent and Jack are the modern day Achilles and Hercules.



50 cent would be a perfect person for republicans to point to with regards to success in the capitalist system. as you all know musicians make almost no money off of record sales. 50 cent created a typical rap merch empire, but he used that money to buy up vitaminwater because he thought it tasted good and pimped it in all his videos. well coca cola bought it from him for 400 million. Yeah.. that's pretty smart

It really screams of "White people shoot like this, Black people shoot like this" sort of obvious. But color me a little bit let down by this game. This game is not really addressing the sociological factors that makes the modern urban youth commit acts of crime?? It just documents one famous artist's exploits in Iraq??? Very disappointing.



what annoyed me about blood on the sand was that every site was like "LOL CRYSTAL SKULL YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT THAT WACKY 50 CENT'S UP TO THIS TIME!!!" when in actuality this piece of shit's little dress-up fantasy game is extremely disrespectful to the real people who've been killed/injured in Iraq and elsewhere (civilians, soldiers, whatever). You get bonus points for taunting people's corpses in this game. Yeah, pretty sick, alright.

It really is a unealistic portrayal of urban lifestyle in Baghdad. I have to wonder what's 50 cents' worth in inflation-adjusted dollars? And does he kill Damien Hirst there at the end of the trailer? I can't tell and for some reason I actually give a shit. Video game deaths mean a lot to me. I cried like a little bitch during Final Fantasy VII



I may not have first hand experience with the region but i can assure you that 50Cent: Blood in the sand is true to life. I really think this is how I expect Stephen Colbert's middle East comedy tour to resemble.

So what's the point of the game? It seems that 50 cents lost his Jeweled skull and he wants it back. I don't want to be a Arab standing in the way between 50 cents and his jewelery. I mean, clearly he's not believable in this role. He was shot several times in that trailer and did not even retaliate to all those mother-f'ers.



I wonder if anyone actually joined the army because of this stupid game. I'd be amazed if anyone even joined the military afer enjoying America's Army, which goes to a great lengths to glorify the Army. This 50 cents game isn't going to do much there. Anyone dumb enough to join the armed forces would have joined regardless of the game. 50 Cent: Blood on yo hands, yo!