Paranormal Activity: Boobs

Paranormal Activity: Boobs

If any porn companies take that name, at least name one of the actors after me... you know one of the actors who has a huge co.....mmand of the English language. I think those porno's these days have evolved in their scripts, haven't they? I wouldn't know as I don't keep up with the format.

Fun fact - Did you know that 20% of the internet traffic in the evening is from folks streaming from Netflicks? True story. So that means that folks are more than happy to watch movies, say one where it's a home video recording of some demon annoying a family instead of watching amateur porn on the internet... also done on a shitty home video camera.



On the subject of shitty hand held camera films, let's talk about Paranormal Activity. It's sequel, Paranormal Activity 2 scored a whopping 41 million in the box office this past weekend. Considering that Paramount only spent 13 million on the production, prints and advertising of the film, Paramount is already making bucket loads of cash and it's clear we have a new Halloween scary movie replacement for the Saw franchise.

You remember that home movie looking ghost story film from last where a douche bag day trader and his girlfriend got a camera and documented their boring lives till some demon came into the picture somehow and was getting even on the stupid day trader and his rather large breasted girlfriend.



Over all, I didn't hate hate the film. I mean, a day trader died. But I found the jump scares to be pandering and a little heavy handed. The plot didn't make much sense and it was left vague as to allow the viewer to insert their own justification or just scare them into thinking that some asshole chaotic evil demon could just come in and wreck shit for no other reason than he's a demon. But it made a shit ton of money and was produced for the down payment of a car. So you knew it was going to get a sequel.

I mean, given the level of dialogue and the glaring lack of plot, character development and everything else that makes up a good movie, this one did pack the crowds in for what was considered a classic ghost/haunting story that people just eat up around this time of the year. So it was perfectly done and on a shoe string budget.



I bet the number one question you had was how were they going to put Katie's boobs into this one and how prominent will her tits be in the film? Are they going to win acting awards? More than likely they'll be up for best supporting character. Maybe I got that wrong. The boobs win best characters and the bra is the best supporting character.

It's pretty clear that they were playing them up at some points. She's seen in a bikini in the pool in one scene and in another scene while playing with the baby she has a seriously low cut outfit with a lot of cleavage just in your face.



Then again, what kind of red blooded American doesn't like cleavage? The host of the Late show, Craig Ferguson once responded to an email from a girl about how to get men to stop starring at her breasts and he made an excellent point.

"...I don't think theres anything you can really do, men will stare at your breasts, unless their polite... Then they'll pretend not to. Which is what we do, we pretend that we're not looking, but we are, and whenever you think 'Is he looking at my breasts?' his is, 'Was that guy looking at...' yes. Can't help it sorry, try not to, the thing you got to understand is we can't help it, its hardwired, I don't believe in the objectification of women, I believe I'm post-feminist, but when I see a woman... I look at her breasts, and you know what? They're awesome!"

Now look at him on the subject here;



So yeah, there's cleavage and then there's a demon. Sounds about right. Though the sequel isn't all about big boobs. You have to toss in something for the other fetishes in there. How about Japanese school girls for those who rather have that? You folks get that two in a Paranormal Activity franchise film because there's actually TWO Paranormal Activity 2 films coming out.

Here's the Japanese remake sequel, It's in post production and due for late November. Paranormal Activity 2: Tokyo Drift

The film follows a Japanese exchange student, who returns home after visiting San Diego and unwittingly brings the evil from the first film into her family’s house.

The film chronicles the young woman’s videotape recordings in their house and the shocking realization of the supernatural force that her family must defeat.

It's pretty comical to see a film have to official sequels that go completely different directions. If we're to buy into the story of the sequel, then it's practically impossible for the demon to just up and follow an Asian school girl back to Japan. The sequel taught us that this is a sort of Rumpelstiltskin demon who was simply trying to cash in on a deal.

I say about time. Can we put that whole creepy girl who died a wrongful death ghost to rest already? Now it's time to put in the vengeful demon who likes boobs and/or babies to take up the lime light and star in as many ghost stories on the big screen while making hollywood stars out of waitresses from Boca de Beppo.


"Why yes, you can have the Pope room for a party of 10 or more."

For a quick review, the sequel was a lot better than the first. I really didn't care for it, but given the chance to see the second one for free I went for it and really enjoyed it. It expanded on the first one and played well with the time line while also bumping up the notches on what this demon was after and how it tied into the first one as a sort of prequel/epilogue. Over all, it had the best aspects of the first film and added a lot to it while retaining the boobs..

I still have one question about the glaring plot hole in the first. If your place is haunted by some unknown spirit, why the fuck are you sleeping with the door wide open to the dark scary hallway? I mean, really? I realize the ghost has no problem with opening closets and going through the attic or fucking with shelves, but at least with the door closed, if it is opened you can see what sad sad monster is coming in..



Oh wait, Sad Keanu haunts everyone's hearts around the world. The most probably and more realistic thing to do in that situation would be to just fucking run to the nearest hotel and hope it doesn't follow you. If it does.. run some more.

Fringed

Fringed

Yes, it's Monday and you actually made it through the day. I know, Mondays are one of those things that just have to exist. It's the bane of everyone's existance but how else are you going to get the week started? Besides, you get a special treat tonight... an old/new episode of Fringe. Oh, I know what you're going to say.. You watch Fringe now? Yes, it may come to a surprise to some, but I've gotten into it a bit over the last week or two.

For the longest time I didn't give Fringe a shot. I would watch one or two episodes, but considering it has a large subplot running through it, I wouldn't really pick up much other than the monster/illness of the week story. Don't get me wrong, it was some what interesting, but I wasn't ready... to love again.



You see, I was a huge X-files fan. I own the series and have seen them at least 2-3 times each. So why while it comes to no surprise that I would be interested in Fringe, I felt that it was a bit too much like the X-files. Not only that but it's J.J. Abrams and I have a love/hate relationship with his work. Then you have to pay attention to the J.J. Abrams shows for patterns. This makes the second JJ Abrams related show in which a shape shifter steals an important character's identity. Someone should comb through old felicity episodes for clues.

Besides that, let's put it this way, I invested a lot into the X-files. It was a love affair.. one could say it was my first adventure into love. The love of the paranormal. I was a susceptible youth. Wide eyed and full of awe at the idea that we weren't alone, that big brother was out there and that I wasn't going crazy in thinking those thoughts about the strange underbelly of our world..



This love took me along on a fling that lasted 7 good seasons.. But then it got ugly. 2 seasons more were just heart breaking and emotional destroying times that I regretted.. but yet still had feelings for this show. 2 films later and I can finally have some closure on the relationship. It taught me and was my role model for a healthy relationship... which is probably why I screw up most relationships. I mean, seriously Mulder and Scully. All those years and you're worse than liberachy with keeping your emotions to yourself. Only to later donate sperm to have a kid? No wonder Mulder is in Californiacation. All those years chasing aliens and his sister would automatically cause Mulder to become a sex addict.

But don't you get it? Maybe I wasn't ready for Fringe because I'm wasn't ready to love the paranormal investigation genre again. My heart's still tender... And then you want me to get in bed with J.J. Abrams? I think my rocky relationship between lost becoming a shambles but Star Trek being an enjoyable romp in the Trek universe has left me.... confused to put it mildly. Is J.J. just that abusive ____friend who will treat me like shit but I'll keep running back to him for more? Didn't I get done with that after X-files? Am I just repeating the same mistake over and over again? The truth is out there...



But I did it anyway. Mainly because it was recommended by the lady and well, I wanted something new to watch after going through various other comical series. So now with this new episode that is shown tonight, I can say that I'm all caught up with the story thus far. I suppose that means I get to maintain a high nerd count in my genes.

I do have to say though, the thing about "The X-files" was that the series always made sure to keep Mulder and Scully isolated, so that their reports could always be dismissed as kooky nonsense. This could have been done to keep the budget lower and not need massive city wide special effects, but it did keep the idea out there that creepy things were on the verge of discovery and powerful forces were bent on their suppression. Opposed to creepy things being discovered and everyone just essentially shrugging their shoulders.



It does take away some of the "oh wow" factor when something like the multiverse shows up from your comic tales to the television screen and the fantastic just happens to seem mundane for the characters. It's sort of like in Buffy and Angel when the apocalypse would happen ever other week and normal people just went about their business. Not saying there's anything wrong with it, it's just an observation.

That's not to say that I'm not shocked by the show. I mean, think about Walter alone. I still can't get over how insanely evil it is to steal your own kid from yourself like he did. Walter is so deceptively charming and adorable, but he had to know how what he did would affect the other Walter because he himself was going through the exact same thing. But I guess it's also incredibly childlike in the sense that it's selfish in a way that doesn't consider the consequences at all, and kind of embodies a love for and dedication to Peter that's admirable like other things about Walter are indefensible but also admirable.



But I'm sure stealing Peter really fucked up that alternate universe in a major way that we'll see in the remainder of this season. Just think about Universe-B Walter. It actually makes perfect sense on who is going to wreck shit up. Who else would have the motivation to be going through all of this trouble just to fuck up our universe? He wants his son back. Our Walter opened a hole in a universe to replace a kid he lost. Universe-B Walter is probably willing to do the same to get his kid back. Plus, he's proably out-of-his-mind angry so he wants to wreck some hell on our universe for that action. And from a storyline perspective, it personalizes things and keeps it more interesting. As opposed to "generic war between universes".

Just think about what the clues were from season 1. Walter casually mentioned that he built the plug that closes dimensional gateways "to keep anything from coming back through" which didn't mean anything at the time, but indicates that he was probably afraid of his Universe-B self following him back over. The Observer did say that there's more than one of everything. Back in St. Claire's, he did start hallucinating of a malicious version of himself. But really, it's a foregone conclusion because the dramatic potential (and possibly comedy potential) of another Walter is too great, especially when the actor doing it is as good as John Noble.


But to add even more connections between the two, FRINGE is now filmed in Vancouver and it'l be interesting to see if they recreate shots in the actual locals of X-files episodes as they love to reference the old show. Just in the season opener you had a screen shot of an X-files episode in the background on a TV. Then you have the U.S. higher ups saying that the Fringe division was nothing more than a new name for that X titled department.

Just take a look at the picture above and the one below. Can you see where the picture in picture occurs? It doesn't take a team of paranormal activity detectives to figure out that they're at least tipping their hat to the old classic.



So maybe.. just maybe I am ready to love again. I don't know what these feelings are. A little excitement every time I see the show.. wanting to watch it till the wee hours in the morning? Surely these are all signs that this is an unhealthy relationship doomed to fail.. mainly because it's J.J. Abrams and it'll peter out by season 4, but I'll jump in.. I suppose. Don't hurt me, Fringe, I bruise easily.

Oh yeah. I didn't even touch on a Fringe worthy investigation. Why is it being shown on Monday night? It's a Thursday staple, right? Well, it seems that Fox is testing the waters to see if the lack luster enjoyment of Heroes can mean that moving Fringe on Monday as a lead in to 24 can be something that they can work off of. Which is odd because Monday night is already a pretty busy week night in terms of Television. Even odder is that this episode tonight is a left over from season 1. Production shooting laws meant that they had to produce one more episode than Fox was picking up for the season, so this one is going to feel very out of place. You better get the Fringe team on top of this one.

With that, let's take a moment to remember those that are no longer with us a season and a half later.. Yes, it's time to look back to the fallen characters of this show..


Goodbye Mr. Papaya. You truly are the friendliest of fruits.

Paranormal Activities By Unwanted House Guest

Paranormal Activities By Unwanted House Guest

The holidays are often filled with unwanted house guest and relatives who come and eat all your food, give you no privacy at all and just wreck the time you do have off from work. Dealing with family during the Holidays is just one of those things. Just be thankful that they eventually leave.

Unlike the person in this next latest viral video floating around. If you ever wondered why you're out of milk so fast or who ate the Chinese leftovers you had in the fridge.. wonder no loner. It aint the Ghost of Christmas Past, just so you know...



Now, let's be honest here. This video clip is fake. It's a take off of Paranormal Activities. But before you dismiss the whole incident as a completely unheard of event, perhaps you should take a look at this story that took place a couple of years ago in Tokyo.

Tokyo homeless woman lived in stranger's cupboard for a year

A homeless woman has been arrested after living undetected for almost a year in a tiny cupboard in a man's house in Japan. The woman, identified as 58-year-old Tatsuko Horikawa, was found by police searching the home of the man, who believed he lived alone in Fukuoka.

The resident of the house, who has not been named, became suspicious that he was the victim of repeat burglaries after he noticed food was going missing from his refrigerator. The man decided to install security cameras linked to his mobile phone and on Wednesday caught images of a woman walking around the house while he was out.

Believing he had detected the burglar, the man contacted police and, after an exhaustive search of the property, officers found the woman hiding in the top of a built-in cupboard designed to store bedding and mattresses.

Behind the sliding door, she had laid out a thin futon and had several plastic drinks bottles, police said. There was just enough room for her to lay down, they added.

"We searched the house, checking everywhere that someone could possibly hide," said Hiroki Itakura, a police spokesman. "When we slid open the closet door, there she was, curled up nervously on her side."

Horikawa told police that she had nowhere to live and had first taken up residence in the cupboard, in a room that the man rarely used, about one year previously when the owner of the house had gone out and not locked the door.

Police believe she may have moved between different addresses in the neighbourhood during her stowaway year.

The woman did not apparently steal any money or other items from the house, but did make use of the shower and toilet.

The police described Horikawa as looking neat and clean. She was charged with trespassing.

So before you start wishing for death to come to Uncle Bob, perhaps you should take a look at the people you're around and realize that they're a whole lot better knowing that at some point when the Holidays are over, they'll be gone. Unlike strange unwelcomed, unknown house guest that live in your cupboard and crawl space.