A Truly Horror Picture Show

A Truly Horror Picture Show

Tonight Glee returns with what will be a very much talked about episode. Even more talked about than the stupid GQ cover that got a lot of media attention recently, is that Glee will be doing a tribute to something that isn't Britney Spears or Madonna. The show will tackle the tough issues of sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania...



I wonder if Schuester will take them all out to eat at Denny's in true fashion.

So I know what you're thinking is the next logical step for this... Well, if Glee is highlighting it, why the fuck not crank out a remake...

We still have to wait an entire week for Glee‘s much-blogged about Rocky Horror Picture Show episode, and considering the buzz surrounding the Gleeks take on the cult classic, it’s not surprising that there is now some interest in pursuing a feature-length remake. Deadline is reporting that Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy has met with Fox 2000 to discuss an updated version of Jim Sharman’s 1975 Frankenstein romp, which originally starred Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, and Barry Bostwick.

Murphy is known for writing and directing some of Glee‘s flashier, more elaborate episodes (like last season’s "The Power of Madonna" and the recent "Britney/Brittany.") To date, his feature-length directorial credits include Running With Scissors (2006) and this summer’s Eat Pray Love. Both were memoir adaptations, and both received lukewarm response from critics (as well as being targets of my wrath) but Murphy’s musical touch could be the perfect fit for a Rocky Horror reboot.

You know, as if the enduring success of RHPS has Anything to do with the actual movie itself. It's pretty much a given that unless you've seen it at a midnight screening in a theater packed with fellow freaks, you're really losing something in the translation.

Don't give me this bullshit about how "A good film needs to stand on its own merits as a film." Rocky Horror is not a great film. In fact, I doubt there's anyone who enjoys the film by itself outside of the midnight experience. It's a fun film to watch in a group and you'll be singing along with the songs, but it's just not a great film to watch by yourself.



As crisp and clear as the blu-ray is, it doesn't give you that feeling of eating food out of a chick's mouth, humping sex toys, tossing rice and yelling out BITCH every so often. So the idea of remaking this in a more acceptable PG-13 format would miss the whole point of the film.

But what are you going to do? Just say "Welp, it sounds like a shitty idea, but why the hell not?" They're going to have one hell of a time getting this made and don't get me started on replacing Tim Curry. He's pretty much irreplaceable. Maybe casting Eddie Izzard as Frank N. Furter would make a little sense and would make the pill easier to swallow on this whole matter.

I read one really good recommendation as to having John Krasinski play Brad, and well, I'm pretty sure that there's one one person that everyone will agree with on taking the role of Janet.... Damn it!



Yup, You can't go wrong with Eva Amurri. It's literally running in her blood!

Or perhaps the route to go is by getting someone the niche market loves... Joss Whedon, of course. I'm sure he'll have time right after doing The Avengers. Not to mention that two people who already worked for him have some pretty extensive Rocky Horror experience under their belt.



Then you have Giles, played by Anthony Stewart Head who just loves to sing Frankie's songs to just about anyone who is willing to listen to them. Take a look at this video.



Or you could click on this link to see Anthony Stewart Head dressed in drag on stage during VH1's tribute to Rocky Horror. And in that one he lets it all hang out. I mean, the dude REALLY REALLY REALLY Loves to dress in drag and play the role..

But hey, when you're this good and well past the level of some Glee geeks, you're able to take on a role like this without any problems, right?



But getting back to the issue at hand.. It's a 35 year old film where 32 of those years has been spent in constant play at midnight screenings. How do you really go about remaking a film with this much global following and not piss off a few folks?

We'll see after tonight if Glee's take on Rocky Horror generates enough attention to get folks to put on their finest tightest blackest little thing and go to the Nuart or any other small theater that will, per usual, be showing this come Saturday night.

Because they sure as hell wont know the story of Rocky Horror based on the extremely trimmed down version that is in the episode. Just a heads up, studio insight here.. Having Mercedes play Frank n furter just seems like a complete cop out. Though I guess with the Parent Television Council on their ass lately, I guess they have to take it easy and wash it all down.

Oh, and don't think this is by any means a valid method to devirginize yourself, you aren't getting off that easy. You gotta go through the ritual just like anyone else.

Calling Your Cable Provider

Calling Your Cable Provider

At the moment there is at least 3 million New Yorkers are without Fox programming because of a dispute with cable company Cablevision and Fox. While normally that would probably be a good thing to not have Fox news, the problem is that Fox News is still on the air there while the network's other stations are not.

This means that baseball playoffs and football games are being missed by those in the area. Which is comedy since the Yankees are currently playing (if you could call it that) and most New Yorkers can't watch the game.

Oh yeah, I guess they're potentially going to miss Glee next week when they do their take on the Rocky Horror Picture Show. And after day 5, things are still at a stalemate with the two as no one wants to do anything but talk.

But in the public space and in Washington, the spat created a storm, with more and more politicians weighing in. Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) today sent FCC chairman Julius Genachowski a copy of legislation he is drafting, which would mandate that retrans disputes be taken to a third party arbitrator and would put enough safe guards to prevent network blackouts in such disputes. In turn, Genachowski today issued his most sternly-worded statement on the issue yet, in which he said he called the CEOs of the two companies and urged them to negotiate in good faith and reach a deal, though he stopped short of getting the FCC to intervene as some have asked. "I am deeply troubled that Cablevision and Fox are spending more time attacking each other through ads and lobbyists than sitting down at the negotiating table," Genachowski said. "The time for petty gamesmanship is over."

It was classic that Fox and Cablevision respected Julius Genachowski's position enough to wait a good ten minutes before making statements accusing each other of hypocrisy and flip-flopping on the matter.

So who's at fault here? Fox claims that Cablevision hasn't paid them enough dough. Cablevision claims that Fox is asking for too much money. The Dolan family (who own Cablevision) are well known to be assholes. News Corp, besides providing my pay check, are assholes themselves and have pulled the same move with Dish Network. So in a sense, both companies are to blame and there's not much you can do about it.

It's getting heated though. Anyone who reads Deadline Hollywood's take on the matter will learn that Cablevision broadband subscribers Internet access to Fox programming on Hulu and Fox.com is also being blocked by Cablevision. So they're limiting what your options are and giving Fox the finger here.

Best of all is that in 2 weeks, this same scenario is what is going to happen with Dish subscribers, some of whom have already had a good chunk of programing cut from their package.

But much like in an episode of Battlestar Galactica, all this has happened before, all this will happen again. It did last year between Bright House and Fox. In the end, I believe it was Bright House who caved on the matter, so Fox is just going for the throat on this one and working its way around each of the providers when their renegotiation times comes around.

Eventually I see Fox winning and it's not because that's my bread and butter, but the simple fact is that people have options and they'll more than likely leave a cable company that doesn't provide them with all that they need or want. The provider just pays the amount and raises the subscriber rates to pay for the cost. It's your classic shake down.

So hang in there, New Yorkers. You'll be able to see your precious expensive Yankees lose to the Texas Rangers soon enough.

Massive Changes For Massive Dynamics

Massive Changes For Massive Dynamics
October 7 | Staff Writer Javier J.

New York - Only one week since the death, reading and executing of Massive Dynamics creator William Bell's last will, the New York News has learned that Dr. Walter Bishop has been left sole shareholder of the company stock and already questions are arising as to his ability to lead a 50 billion dollar company.

They started circulating when he revealed the new direction that the company will be heading in the days to come. The first sign was when employees of the Chemistry department were given the task by Dr. Bishop of tackling improved LSD development and research.



The Agricultural Sciences division will soon begin a crash-course in development of a new and more potent cannabis product, project "Brown Betty", as it is called. Many have stated that this is Dr. Bishop personal mission and has had a hands on approach in teaching Massive Dynamic workers through the entire steps.

Another of Dr. Bishop's ideas is to get rid of the giant floating letters outside of the building. "There is no need to waste anti-gravity force fields on such self promotion of the buildings name and location." Bishop stated in a press release. "We already know it's in New York, what do you think? You woke up in Manhatan all of sudden?"



Employee and Department head Brandon McDonald was fine with the changes already made at the company commissary, where we he was eating one of Bishop's latest menu changes - Bacon Pudding. "I'm not all that shocked by the changes" McDonald stated, "But this bacon flavored pudding, now that's a surprise."

A bigger surprise is the rumors that have been circulating that CEO Nina Sharp was being replaced with a Mr. Papaya. When attempting to look into who this Papaya person was and find any work history or previous business experience, no files were found other than a note suggesting that he is the friendliest of all fruits.



Even though Massive Dynamic is a weapons testing, robotics, medical equipment, aeronautics, genetics and pharmaceuticals company, Walter Bishop has added one more item to the that list - diary farm. An entire floor has been devoted to the advancement of bovine studies. Specifically in the creation of a chocolate cow.

"I want Gene to be taken care of. How else is she going to start making chocolate milk?" Bishop told the NYNews. Along with that an on-site panda express expected to be added to provide constant satisfaction to Dr. Bishop's personal pet's food cravings.

"I would just like to say now that I would turn down any notion of being the Secretary, so just don't ask me." Bishop joked with reporters at the press conference.

"In his last message to me Belle told me not to be afraid to cross the line. And so that's why I say with certainly today that we're pushing the limits and seeing if Gene will be able to produce Strawberry milk as well."

Bishop finished by telling the press "Now if you'll excuse me, I have Ginger Ale to make."


More news:

Obama moves into new White house
Senate calls for hearings about federal departments
Copy of strange Back to the Future circulating Youtube
(October 7, 2010)

Fringed

Fringed

Yes, it's Monday and you actually made it through the day. I know, Mondays are one of those things that just have to exist. It's the bane of everyone's existance but how else are you going to get the week started? Besides, you get a special treat tonight... an old/new episode of Fringe. Oh, I know what you're going to say.. You watch Fringe now? Yes, it may come to a surprise to some, but I've gotten into it a bit over the last week or two.

For the longest time I didn't give Fringe a shot. I would watch one or two episodes, but considering it has a large subplot running through it, I wouldn't really pick up much other than the monster/illness of the week story. Don't get me wrong, it was some what interesting, but I wasn't ready... to love again.



You see, I was a huge X-files fan. I own the series and have seen them at least 2-3 times each. So why while it comes to no surprise that I would be interested in Fringe, I felt that it was a bit too much like the X-files. Not only that but it's J.J. Abrams and I have a love/hate relationship with his work. Then you have to pay attention to the J.J. Abrams shows for patterns. This makes the second JJ Abrams related show in which a shape shifter steals an important character's identity. Someone should comb through old felicity episodes for clues.

Besides that, let's put it this way, I invested a lot into the X-files. It was a love affair.. one could say it was my first adventure into love. The love of the paranormal. I was a susceptible youth. Wide eyed and full of awe at the idea that we weren't alone, that big brother was out there and that I wasn't going crazy in thinking those thoughts about the strange underbelly of our world..



This love took me along on a fling that lasted 7 good seasons.. But then it got ugly. 2 seasons more were just heart breaking and emotional destroying times that I regretted.. but yet still had feelings for this show. 2 films later and I can finally have some closure on the relationship. It taught me and was my role model for a healthy relationship... which is probably why I screw up most relationships. I mean, seriously Mulder and Scully. All those years and you're worse than liberachy with keeping your emotions to yourself. Only to later donate sperm to have a kid? No wonder Mulder is in Californiacation. All those years chasing aliens and his sister would automatically cause Mulder to become a sex addict.

But don't you get it? Maybe I wasn't ready for Fringe because I'm wasn't ready to love the paranormal investigation genre again. My heart's still tender... And then you want me to get in bed with J.J. Abrams? I think my rocky relationship between lost becoming a shambles but Star Trek being an enjoyable romp in the Trek universe has left me.... confused to put it mildly. Is J.J. just that abusive ____friend who will treat me like shit but I'll keep running back to him for more? Didn't I get done with that after X-files? Am I just repeating the same mistake over and over again? The truth is out there...



But I did it anyway. Mainly because it was recommended by the lady and well, I wanted something new to watch after going through various other comical series. So now with this new episode that is shown tonight, I can say that I'm all caught up with the story thus far. I suppose that means I get to maintain a high nerd count in my genes.

I do have to say though, the thing about "The X-files" was that the series always made sure to keep Mulder and Scully isolated, so that their reports could always be dismissed as kooky nonsense. This could have been done to keep the budget lower and not need massive city wide special effects, but it did keep the idea out there that creepy things were on the verge of discovery and powerful forces were bent on their suppression. Opposed to creepy things being discovered and everyone just essentially shrugging their shoulders.



It does take away some of the "oh wow" factor when something like the multiverse shows up from your comic tales to the television screen and the fantastic just happens to seem mundane for the characters. It's sort of like in Buffy and Angel when the apocalypse would happen ever other week and normal people just went about their business. Not saying there's anything wrong with it, it's just an observation.

That's not to say that I'm not shocked by the show. I mean, think about Walter alone. I still can't get over how insanely evil it is to steal your own kid from yourself like he did. Walter is so deceptively charming and adorable, but he had to know how what he did would affect the other Walter because he himself was going through the exact same thing. But I guess it's also incredibly childlike in the sense that it's selfish in a way that doesn't consider the consequences at all, and kind of embodies a love for and dedication to Peter that's admirable like other things about Walter are indefensible but also admirable.



But I'm sure stealing Peter really fucked up that alternate universe in a major way that we'll see in the remainder of this season. Just think about Universe-B Walter. It actually makes perfect sense on who is going to wreck shit up. Who else would have the motivation to be going through all of this trouble just to fuck up our universe? He wants his son back. Our Walter opened a hole in a universe to replace a kid he lost. Universe-B Walter is probably willing to do the same to get his kid back. Plus, he's proably out-of-his-mind angry so he wants to wreck some hell on our universe for that action. And from a storyline perspective, it personalizes things and keeps it more interesting. As opposed to "generic war between universes".

Just think about what the clues were from season 1. Walter casually mentioned that he built the plug that closes dimensional gateways "to keep anything from coming back through" which didn't mean anything at the time, but indicates that he was probably afraid of his Universe-B self following him back over. The Observer did say that there's more than one of everything. Back in St. Claire's, he did start hallucinating of a malicious version of himself. But really, it's a foregone conclusion because the dramatic potential (and possibly comedy potential) of another Walter is too great, especially when the actor doing it is as good as John Noble.


But to add even more connections between the two, FRINGE is now filmed in Vancouver and it'l be interesting to see if they recreate shots in the actual locals of X-files episodes as they love to reference the old show. Just in the season opener you had a screen shot of an X-files episode in the background on a TV. Then you have the U.S. higher ups saying that the Fringe division was nothing more than a new name for that X titled department.

Just take a look at the picture above and the one below. Can you see where the picture in picture occurs? It doesn't take a team of paranormal activity detectives to figure out that they're at least tipping their hat to the old classic.



So maybe.. just maybe I am ready to love again. I don't know what these feelings are. A little excitement every time I see the show.. wanting to watch it till the wee hours in the morning? Surely these are all signs that this is an unhealthy relationship doomed to fail.. mainly because it's J.J. Abrams and it'll peter out by season 4, but I'll jump in.. I suppose. Don't hurt me, Fringe, I bruise easily.

Oh yeah. I didn't even touch on a Fringe worthy investigation. Why is it being shown on Monday night? It's a Thursday staple, right? Well, it seems that Fox is testing the waters to see if the lack luster enjoyment of Heroes can mean that moving Fringe on Monday as a lead in to 24 can be something that they can work off of. Which is odd because Monday night is already a pretty busy week night in terms of Television. Even odder is that this episode tonight is a left over from season 1. Production shooting laws meant that they had to produce one more episode than Fox was picking up for the season, so this one is going to feel very out of place. You better get the Fringe team on top of this one.

With that, let's take a moment to remember those that are no longer with us a season and a half later.. Yes, it's time to look back to the fallen characters of this show..


Goodbye Mr. Papaya. You truly are the friendliest of fruits.

Glee - In Real Life

Glee - In Real Life

Glee is one of those Fox shows that, even if you have Time Warner Cable, you'll still be able to watch since Time Warner and Fox settled their dispute. Besides that, it's one of those shows that has that soap opera feel but has the musical element that will make you feel not-so-gay if you happen to watch it with your girlfriend.

It seems that it has received such popularity that MTV is already trying to cash in on the fame, especially with the Real Life Glee


And if you're reading this, chances are you enjoyed or at least one episode of Glee. And as much as the show is entertaining with catchy music and characters you can cheer for, the problem seems to be, at least in MTV's mind, that it's not authentic. It's all an act, meant to entertain the viewer, of course.

So this MTV show is a prime example on how they saw the idea behind Glee, and decided to take it, and find the real story. The result: A TV show featuring real high school students, really performing and truly living to perform... And this will air on January 2nd at 6pm on MTV... and since they have no music videos to show, I'm pretty sure they'll show it at least a hundred times more during the week.

I guess the real appeal to this MTV show is that now with Glee on a winter break, they're trying to sucker in the viewers to watching this to get their Choir fix some place, because that's all Glee really is. This show aims to display the choir aspect of Glee without the scripting. But let's be real, I'm one to never trust MTV when it comes to "reality" shows.



An interesting aspect of the show is that it's part of MTV's "Made" program. It documents the lives of the members of the central sound, a show choir group based in Indianapolis. It includes scenes of rehearsals, performances, and what show choir members do in the time they're not with the choir.

I'm just wondering which one is the would-be-hot-except-for-the-huge-jew-nose character. because without that star talent on te show, you have nothing. So maybe if you're interested in hearing high schooler's sing Lady Gaga when they're not in the shower and out in public, this show may be for you.

Fox Vs Time Warner

Fox Vs Time Warner

Have you've ever watched a baseball game and hoped that BOTH teams lose? I get this feeling every time I see an Angels vs Yankees game. What can I say, I HATE the Yankees. They really are the worse team in the world. But even then, I have to deal with fucking asshole Angel fans a lot. So when I see that both teams are playing each other, I just hope that there's no winner and the stadium just blows up taking as many fans of both teams out with them.

This is how I'm feeling when I hear about the situation with Time Warner and Fox. As you may have noticed on the Television ads, if you have Time Warner Cable, it seems that Fox and Time Warner (a company owned by the same folks who own Warner Brothers, thus the WARNER) the two have been disputing over money and it has lead to the potential that come January 1st, you will not get any Fox stations on your Time Warner cable system.

In fact, fuck it. I'm not even going to host that ransom note image. I'm going to steal something from Time Warner's website. Ha ha, suck it Time Warner! (as I type this using a TW internet connection)



And Time Warner has sent this letter to it's users

Don’t Let Them Hold Your TV Hostage
At midnight New Year’s Eve, FOX has threatened to pull the plug on Time Warner Cable customers – withholding their programming unless we pay massive price increases.
We think they’re going too far – especially in today’s economy – and we’re glad you agree. Over 600,000 of you have gone to RollOverOrGetTough.com. And, the overwhelming response has been to ‘Get Tough.’ With your support, we’re standing up to the TV networks to hold down the cost of cable TV. We apologize in advance for any inconvenience and remind you to visit RollOverOrGetTough.com for the latest information on which channels may no longer be available as of January 1, 2010, as not all FOX programming is at risk in all areas. There you’ll also find a helpful guide to alternative sources for programming – so you can continue to watch many of your favorite shows.
Time Warner Cable is working hard to reach an agreement. We’ve offered FOX a reasonable price increase that protects our customers’ pocketbooks. But we are not giving in to excessive demands. Don’t let them hold your TV hostage. Click here to visit RollOverOrGetTough.com now or call 1-877-267-1844 to learn more. Together, we can hold the line on TV prices.

Oh, we shouldn't let them hold us hostage? Unlike Time Warner, who in my area, is the only cable provider around unless you go satellite and thus are the only ones that could potentially hold me hostage. Yeah.. You can burn in hell Time Warner. Your service is beyond shitty. I got a call from them the other night telling me that my billing policy has changed. Why or how? I have no idea. But then again, I don't have ANY other land line options in East L.A.

Nope, AT&T cuts off the service about a quarter mile from me and because of their monopoly, Time Warner is the only game in town. I would love to get AT&T and take advantage of their Steve-O TiVo knock off. But I can't. So please don't play a pity party on me about Fox expecting you to pay more for the shows they provide you to show on the cable line.

I called my Time Warner customer support line and asked them about this and they told me that they didn't want to pass increased costs on to the customer that the channels were asking. I then asked them if they would lower my monthly rates if they did stop carrying the channels. It makes sense, doesn't it? If Fox is charging them a lot already and they no longer carry Fox, they should have the saved amount from it. After a long silence and some mumbling, they of course said that they couldn't lower my rate. So really, Time Warner, are you going to stick to that excuse cause it's obviously full of shit.

Hell, if anything, I suppose I should be on Fox's side. If they get more money then they'll gladly be pushing for more productions which means that I have more gigs to jump on to and line my pocket with. So when your Fox channel goes off at Midnight, at least you now know why..

Fuck off Time Warner.

Jennifer's Body: Pro-Feminist Man-Eater Movie of the Year!

Jennifer's Body: Pro-Feminist Man-Eater Movie of the Year!

Oh great, yet another pop culture blog, more specifically one about a film that's by Fox. Am I going to lose my street creditability as being edgy by sounding like a total shill? I mean, I pimped out a lot of fox shows two days ago but don't worry, this one is all bashing and trashing, but most of all it's talking about the pro-feminist movement in the media! I'm sure the ladies will love this one.

Clearly as a comedy writer I'm not one to pick up on the subtle nature of films such as this, but Jennifer's Body is a feminist reversal of patriarchal horror films if I ever saw one. You see, the film clearly shows that the male gaze, which normally denies women human acknowledgment, relegating them to the status of objects, is countered when in this film, the male gaze is nothing more than an evolved predatory tactic to lure one of Jennifer's future prey into a trap by using nothing more than her sexualization. It's all college level Women's Studies 101, if I've ever seen it.


The film centers around some hot chick who eats boys and she's some olde fashioned demon or some shit. While it may be about giving women the power for a change, it's really nothing more than "Megan Fox uses sexuality to kill people." Jennifer's Body was a great movie.. when it was made over a decade ago when natasha henstridge was in it and they called it SPECIES. In Species the alien gal is evil 'cause she secretly wants aryan spacebabies. Megan Fox's character is just stereotypically slutty.

Did no one see Teeth? Teeth is a good movie about a girl biting dude's dicks off with her vagina. Teeth would have been a better movie if it wasn't about a girl biting dude's dicks off with her vag. It did feel like some of it was simply shock value to put asses into seats. It's like Jennifer's Body is the spawn between Species and Teeth fucking.



Instead of being a satire of patriarchal horror films, it's just plainly a patriarchal horror film with no redeeming qualities that Diablo Cody will be celebrated for by hipsters. So I suppose that's a win-win, right? No Oscar steals next year, baby! Then again, with the director of Aoen Flux behind the camera, I better not be doubting that underdog type finish for this film.

Megan Fox is what teenage kids made when they broke into the Disney nubile starlet factory over the weekend and started fucking with the settings. I mean, sure, Megan Fox is pretty hot. Yeah, she stands out from the ugly bitches that are usually in films. I just wish dudes got to pick the female leads in movies for once. Imagine what the world would be like if that were to happen? You would think that they'd take male interest in mind when casting female leads but they're so strict about acting ability, something that Megan Fox clearly has a lot of. I say who cares about acting ability if they have a nice rack and a tan. Am I right men?



You may remember that this movie had leaked pictures of Megan in a wet skin suit to shoot the more "racy" scenes. It is clearly an attempt to show how feminist they are by "accidentally" "leaking" some photos of the main star swimming "nude." Yup, pure feminism at its finest. If a women wants to swim nude and have photos leaked for hype, who are you to say she can't?

Has Megan Fox ever been good in any roe she's been cast in or does she just get cast because she's hot and they need the male teen audience to make lots of money on the piece of crap film they're shilling? I've only seen her in Transformers and she was terrible in it. I didn't bother seeing the second one because I valued my two hours (but not my three hours writing this blog) but it's not like she was the only bad thing about that film. Just about any not robot character was pretty bad and only had redeeming qualities in that Afro-robot with their jive talk and illiteracy and big cast iron blackbot lips. Oh what, he wasn't suppose to be black? MichaelBay, you fooled me again!


The sad part is that this film is exactly like Species but without nudity in it and set in High school. Why are you under age high schoolers even messing with this trash? Go to blockbuster (before they close[oh, topical!]) and just rent Species 1 or 2. You'll at least get to see tits in those films.

Is it sad that I honestly don't remember the last movie that was pro-feminist ideas? Silence of the Lambs comes to mind.. but not much else. Keep in mind that I'm half awake, half drunk (the nature of great writing) but I don't recall too many female empowerment films.



Revolutionary Road was pretty good, I guess. It was about how shitty being a woman in the 60's was. Is that feminist enough? She did die at the end making sure that she did what she wanted to her body, when she wanted. Though it resulted in her death via douche... Yeah, I guess it's not really a feminist movie.

I Love Lucy might be the most Pro-Feminist show ever to grace our television sets. Before I Love Lucy, Women characters were not asked to explain their actions but her husband Ricky Ricardo changed all that. It didn't need scary man-eating chicks with a desired vajajay to prove it.All she had was some 'splainin' to do.



I'm just wondering if the feminist horror movie genre can ever get back to the awesomeness that is Alien. Though I suppose it really wasn't as feminist as one would think. I mean, it was pretty pro-feminism through the movie but then it got to the point where she was alone in the escape pod with the alien and she had to strip down to her underwear and hide her pussy (Seriously, she had a cat. What did you think I meant?) to fight an alien. Why? Why did you need to degrade her to just some swimsuit model to show empowerment? Then again, maybe that scene isn't male gaze-y. It's just suppose to make her appear vulnerable so it's extra scary when you realize the alien is on the escape ship with her.

It may sound odd, but Mad Men is straight up all about female empowerment... 100% of the time. Hell, it has the most female writing staff on any television show. And while Don Draper may be jumping around from hussy to home wrecker, the fact remains that the female characters get the most character development.



Though the show does lead to moral questions. For example, the actress who plays Joan stuffs her butt and boobs for the role, which is very strange altogether because Christina Hendricks is already pretty curvy. But with this piece of information, what does that make me when I stare at her boobs?

To be honest, the most pro-feminist show on television right now has to be Tim and Eric, Awesome Show, Great Job! I'm not even joking. Take a look at it and you'll see that I'm so correct in this matter. A lot of stuff is pretty clever. The Cisco stuff especially. But I'm telling you, Pro-feminist like you never believe!



The sad part is that no matter how bad this movie is, it will be No.1 at the box office this weekend because of how much it's advertised and because Megan Fox's boobs are in it.. Diablo Cody's continued success as a writer insures her position as someone who will be heralded as "A Voice of our time"

Diablo Cody has a distinctive voice, yes that is true. While it may be easy for people to dismiss her because of words like "Freatarded" and exclamations like "Cheese and Fries!" But hey, that's just the way she rolls. And, yes, there are girls who speak that way. Why? I don't know. I just know I'll never date them.



Oh that Diablo Cody effect. United States of Tara was alright, at least the episodes she didn't write. "Honest to blog" is one of the worst phrases ever to grace the big screen. And by grace I mean Take a huge steaming shit in a paper bag and light it on fire. And if it wasn't for a majority of the awful "hip lingo" in Juno, I would have loved it even more. Ellen Page can come off as a bit too much when given that range. I don't blame her for Diablo Cody's shitty script work.



Perhaps this is a feminist movie. If that's the case I should change the spelling of Women in this post to the proper wymyn as they like it. Then again, the word wymyn is kind of sexy looking. Perhaps Zionist feminist have it all wrong in their attempt to kill the male gaze. If it wasn't for that, this film's eye candy wouldn't bring asses to the seats and make it the biggest film of the weekend.

In the end, this film has nothing to do with feminist and really is just a terrible movie under the guise of girl power that Hollywood was able to market from Megan Fox's body and Diablo Cody's witty use of words that no one ever has or will use in the history of mankind.. Especially not on a fucking hamburger phone.

Must See TV: Going Back To Philly/A Bone To Pick

Must See TV: Going Back To Philly/A Bone To Pick

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that we are finally getting the fall season of television back again. I have been working on some of the productions you will be seeing tonight as well as in the coming weeks of new episodes on the air.

First off we have Bones. The show that Fox just seems to keep around because.. well because there's nothing else to show on Thursday night.. or whatever wacky night they seem to want to air it. It's always a toss up. It's the start of the 5th season and I know what you're thinking.. What is Bones? So for those of you who haven't seen it on Fox and fail to watch it on TNT, here it is in a nutshell.

The show tells the story of a series of case files, solved weekly, by an unlikely alliance between Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan's (Emily Deschanel) forensic anthropology team at the Jeffersonian Institution (a thinly veiled allusion to the Smithsonian Institution) and FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz). By examining the human remains of the murder victims, Dr. Brennan's team provides scientific expertise and an outsider's perspective to the world of criminal investigation to the FBI. In addition to the murder cases featured in each episode, the series explores the backgrounds and relationships of the major characters including the developing friendship and possibly romantic relationship between Brennan and Booth.

Now the romantic aspect of this show has been going on forever. It's one of those cases where they were going to finally get it on last season but the powers that be (fox executives) felt the need to ask the creative to push that back. Why? Well, they felt that without the sexual tension you, the viewers wouldn't have a reason to tune in.

As if watching it to see David Boreanaz not act like a brooding vampire and smile wasn't reason enough. You also have Emily Deschanel on the show and really is remarkably beautiful. Now for the pervs out there, I've held myself back from making a joke about her handling bones all day. So see, I'm behaving myself.



A little fun fact, Emily Deschanel is big sister to Zooey Deschanel. Clearly that family bloodline has the mysterious "Oh my god, so fucking hot" gene. And while I'm around the set a lot, the fact that teases me is that they have been trying, so very hard, to get Zooey to come on as a special guest star as Bone's causin on screen. Yes, that my friends, would make it a Dream Job.

Since I already broke the NDA and told you that, how about another nugget. The 100th episode (it's been 84 to air so far), they're thinking of doing a flash back episode (you know there wont be any advancing the sexual tension that way) and showing us how Booth and Brennan interacted on their first tag-team assignment. If you're a fan of the show, you'd know that whenever it's referenced, their first encounter with each other was not a pleasant one.

Then over on the cable network F/X we have the return of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia



Which.. well, if you're not familiar with the show, it's one of the most funniest things on TV. And if you have issues with watching a show because it may get canceled.. don't worry, this show has had episode orders to last another two seasons worth of shows. It's just that good.

What's the sum up of this sucker? It's about a bunch of self centered jerks who do everything for their own benefit and the comedy (of errors) that ensues in the process of it. It's great, you'll love it.. I don't need to sell you more on it other than to show you this clip.



And if that doesn't do it, then what the hell, man. What's wrong with you? You used to be cool... Where's your comedy funny bone at? Do I need to sell you with sex? Well, how about the fact that the cast of the show is always drinking. I mean.. ALWAYS. On the show, in interviews, on the set, hell, they're drunk right now. I'm sure of it. More than likely having a blast and do you know why? Because they know how to work.



I hope that experience makes it to the sequel to An Erotic Life. And before you ask, yes, that's Captain Mal's wife and Mad Men secretary Christina Hendricks. Clearly Dennis has his hands full..

So basically this blog post has been a complete shill since I work for the company that produces both of these and I have had a hand in both of these shows in the magical process of getting from creatives mind to your television set. Man, I'm a sell out, aren't I?

Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?

Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?

If you haven't seen (500) Days Of Summer, then what the hell is wrong with you? What are you waiting for? It wont be in your local indie movie theater for too long! I've already talked about this movie in previous blogs. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that I'm going to rave about this film.

One of the best things about it is the film chemistry between Joesph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. They're vowing to work together again and again like a modern day Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn or Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. If that's the case, then they're doing a good job at making it seem like they could be a off screen couple.

So where am I going with this? The proof in the pudding, as well as a music video for a song by She & Him. Which I oddly put in the last blog. But since this video is directed by Marc Webb and stars the two... well then, it's something special that I would suggest everyone watches.




That is all. Have a good weekend.

(500) Days Of Summer

(500) Days Of Summer

As summer is coming to a winding halt as we're now in August, perhaps it's time to talk about one of the best movies of not only this summer season, but of the year. (500) Days of Summer.

Perhaps I should come out and say that I'm on the company buck most times, but even though I'm a company man and this film is being released by Fox Searchlight, I have nothing to gain by promoting it and my interest to write this is simply because it's a great movie. But on a side note, Fox Searchlight has yet to give me a bad movie. They've got a great record and are the new Miramax. Check out the trailer by pressing play:



This film struck a chord with me. I mean, who won't it strike a chord with. Rest assured that if you've ever been "in love", you'll relate to one or both characters in this film. I suppose in my case it doesn't help that a lot of the places in the film are actual spots where I've taken the person I care for, the idea of the futility of the relationship really does come across.

The park bench that Tom sits at is right above Angel's Flight near the grand central market in Downtown. I love that location and the idea that I've passed it by to go up and play scrabble right above it to check out the same view of the city mixed in with the those oh so lovely parking structures just really had me relating to the character even more.



The Karaoke takes place at Red Wood. It's a Pirate themed bar. This is a bar where I've taken my Gal on one of our first dates. I still recall that night. Got a little token of that always in my mind. So yeah, this film, a film that makes L.A. one of it's major focuses, while it may strike those chords to everyone who had some emotional attachment to someone who may not have given them the same in return, the fact that it goes beyond that and relates on a specific note like that for me, maybe this film a bit more personal.

The film isn't a Romantic comedy. I'll be hesitant to call it that. It's an anti-romantic reality. Yes, it has some laughs here and there. While the film centers around Gordon-Levitt and his hopelessly in love emotions with a woman who doesn't believe in love, there's nothing in here that can be labeled a romantic comedy. It's quirky, funny and realistically portraying love from a guy's point of view that isn't often viewed from.



But guy or girl, the idea is that the film takes the viewpoint from the person who got side swiped by the news of a break up. It's the one who didn't see the writing on the wall till it was too late. The film has the same feeling that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind had. I would say that the film feels like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind tripped over Garden State and rolled down a hill. Don't worry, only the best parts of both films are showing by the time it got to the bottom of the hill.

Eternal Sunshine worked because it was about the futility of that type of relationship. You better enjoy the good times while they last. Eventually you'll be going through the cycles that the couple went through where you're repeating the same mistakes... which in reality aren't mistakes. They're just the two of you growing apart.



In both films you have the futility of expecting it to last forever and learning to enjoy the good times while they do last, then let go when it's time to move on. These messages will come out depending on how cynical you are, I suppose. But in either case you should take away the fact that the two of you have changed over time because of each other. Lessons learned about yourself because of this relationship.

That's the glass half full outlook on this. The relationship may be over, and unlike a typical romantic comedy, it's not going to be a stereotypical happy ending, you can still enjoy the time spent together. Remembering the good times as well as the bad. The film plays like a 20-something Annie Hall. The degeneration of a relationship and how we grow as a result of it. So there you go. Annie Hall and Eternal Sunshine with a slight twist of Garden State. Yup, it truly is an indie film.



The film had a lot of moments that showed both the sweet side and the sour side of a relationship. Yet ordered it so that it all seemed real without ever losing the humor. You get to see, in jumping cuts, how somethings that were once cute end up being annoying and on someone's nerve.

I like how the reasons for the break up aren't ever really explored. Nor are the initial reasons or explanation on how they got together/Tom won her heart. It just leaves it at Summer gets tired of Tom... or just tired of the relationship with Tom. It's not that there's any one reason. No one cheats on the other and there isn't some magical force preventing this love that is meant to be. In actuality, the feelings between the two are just that, feelings. And in life feelings are very often fleeting.



While she was into him and liked him, she was never on the same page as him in terms of what they wanted out of the relationship. Through the relationship she did change in her own way and did learn that there was actually love out there. In the beginning of the time line, the year and a half earlier, she didn't believe in anything remotely in love. And while it didn't work out between Tom and Summer, she did open herself up to the possibility of feeling it when it approached.

I got to talk to the first time film director/long time music video director and he admitted that every scene in this film minus two of them actually happened to him. And on a side note, he sent the script to the real life Summer to read, and the first thing she said was that she found herself relating so much to Tom while reading it.Go figure.



On to Tom, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, is possibly one of the best young actors out there. After seeing his powerhouse performances in Mysterious Skin and Lookout, I'll watch anything he chooses to do. Wait a second, he's going to be Cobra Commander in the upcoming G.I. Joe flick. Can I take that statement back? He's got to have some balls to go from what has to be one of the best films of the year to what will be a fucking mess of a two hour toy commercial.

Then you have Zooey Deschanel who has an age-appropriate love interest?! Now I've seen it all. Though as cute as she is and as beautiful her eyes are, though from what I learned from THE HAPPENING is that even those beautiful eyes and quirky acting can save a bad movie. But what she makes up in the ability to save a bad movie, a skill that is not needed here, she does a wonderful job in bringing her voice. You see, Zooey has one hell of an amazing voice box as one half of the band SHE & HIM.



Then we get to the final character of the film. Los Angeles. You might not recognize it at first. I know it's easy to mistake for New York. This is why I've worked a lot on film productions in Downtown that were suppose to be set in New York. Downtown can fool you that way. I didn't realize that this film was going to be a film so in love with downtown Los Angeles. So that was a very nice surprise.

Like I said before, the Bench is a spot I've been to plenty of times before. I've walked down that pathway at the courthouse like he does. Though I don't recall ever dancing to Hall and Oates. Usually it's during Jury Duty. I have stood and admired a lot of the architecture, such as the Bradbury Building or the Dorothy Chandler. The love for LA was really the biggest thing that sealed the movie for me. It was nice to see downtown in a film that wasn't an action or cop movie.



My recommendation is to go see this film... Now. Even if it's not in wide release when you read this. Go find the local art house near you and watch this film. It's as good as Eternal Sunshine as well as realistic that it will touch on a nerve that you'll relate to the character. One of, if not THE best film of the year.

Autobots: Transform And Slow Your Roll

Autobots: Transform And Slow Your Roll

First off, if you waited in line on Tuesday night to watch this movie, go ahead and go kill yourself before you continue reading this piece. No, I'm serious. You went to a god damn midnight screening for this piece of shit? You're a worthless human being.

Anyway, remember how in the first Transformers movie they had wacky fat black character and Jazz was a black robot. Add in that he was the only one that got killed as well as all those hilarious Indian call center jokes? Well, Transformers 2 bumps it up a notch there, buddy. Because you know what a sequel mean. More of everything! Woooooo! And when you have Michael Bay in the mix, all bets are off. Let's turn that racism dial up to 11 and see what happens!



why does a robot need teeth?



best not to go full tard, man.

Transformers' Jive-Talking Robots Raise Race Issues
SANDY COHEN | June 24, 2009 12:57 PM EST | AP

LOS ANGELES — "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" introduces some 40 new mechanized characters of all shapes, sizes and even sexes _ but it's a pair of jive-talking 'bots that critics are singling out as more than just harmless comic relief.

Skids and Mudflap, twin robots disguised as compact Chevys, constantly brawl and bicker in rap-inspired street slang. They're forced to acknowledge that they can't read. One has a gold tooth.

As good guys, they fight alongside the Autobots and are intended to provide comic relief. But the traits they're ascribed raise the specter of stereotypes most notably seen when Jar Jar Binks, the clumsy, broken-English speaking alien from "Star Wars: Episode I _ The Phantom Menace," was criticized as a racial caricature.

sheeeit nigga we got dat all spark

Michael Bay had an interview with the Associated Press were he was made to defend himself against racial allegations. These charges steam from two of Bay's secondary robot characters, Mudflap and Skids. People seem to think that these two characters promote offensive racial stereotypes. Michael Bay does not disagree, he just doesn't see anything wrong with it.

These two robots have all the trimmings from enormous jug ears, bug eyes, and a enormous gold tooth sticking out of one of their faces to speaking in high pitched voices that remind you of Chris Tucker in Friday. Mudflap and Skids are voiced by Black actor Reno Wilson, and comedian and voice talent Tom Kenny. The dialog suggests that the two robots will start popping a cap in another robot.

"We're just putting more personality in," Bay told the Associated Press. "I don't know if it's stereotypes - they are robots, by the way. These are the voice actors. This is kind of the direction they were taking the characters and we went with it."

New York times critic Manohla Dargis wrote that the characters speak with "conspicuously cartoonish, so-called black voices that indicate that minstrelsy remains as much in fashion in Hollywood as when, well, Jar Jar Binks was set loose by George Lucas."

Michael Bay goes on to defend himself by stating: "I purely did it for kids, Young kids love these robots, because it makes it more accessible to them."

Outside of the movie theater where I was watching Away We Go... you know, something that shows movies can be good, I overheard the following from folks coming out of the transformers screening:

"them two nigger robots was the best part."

Then I heard them called Decepticoons and the Jiggabots. Totally classy. I guess when you see these robots in action, that really is the only reaction you can have. Want to see a snippet?


Yeah... way to go, Bay. Them there robots don't read much. How about a Hasidic robot who rads the Torah? Persian robot that transforms into a chariot and shoots Neda. Maybe an Italian robot that rapes female robots and is covered in a thin layer of grease.

Michael Bay is the worst filmmaker but is okay because it serves as a cultural litmus test exposing the dumb among us. The only tool useful for pointing out tools is Ed Hardy clothing. But movies this bad are cultural treasure troves that pack in all the worst elements of our society crystallized for entertainment value, like a rare geode that you crack open only to find that it's full of baby spiders.

Transformers 2 is 2 hours of US Military porn, Megan Fox being ludicrously hot, a Transforming SR-71 Blackbird , some forced funny lines and terrible acting from Shia Leboeuf, utterly mind-blowingly bad and undeterminded CGI. It is 2 hours of utter mindless entertainment. I suppose that appeals to some.



In the first movie that Even Stevens dude hit on Megan Fox by saying there was "More than meets the eye" to her. And they made a sequel based off that.. yeah.. I know.. it's a terrible terrible world.

But hey, since we're on Megan Fox (Hey now, who wouldn't want to be?) Let's talk a bit more about her. Remember, she claims to be a feminist:

How did you feel about being sexualized like that when you were 15?
I thought it was awesome. I was going to a Christian high school and I wasn’t a feminist yet. I hadn’t sat back and analyzed society yet. I was 15! I just did what I was told to do.

What did your parents think?
My mom was with me! I was always übersexual, so she wasn’t shocked. I was always wearing the smallest clothes I could find. I would go to the mall like that — in a short, short skirt and a giant wedge heel. That’s what you do when you’re a teenage girl in a small town.

Do you think you’re good-looking?
Well, I’m clearly not ugly.

There have been a lot of comparisons between you and Angelina Jolie.
I think it’s a lack of creativity on the media’s part. Because I have tattoos and dark hair and I was in an action movie? That’s as far as the similarities extend. I’m not the next anyone.

You’ve said you’re afraid of her.
I was joking! She always seems otherworldly in her power and her confidence. I’m sure she has no idea who I am. But if I were her, I’d be like, ”Who the f— is this little bulls— brat who was in Transformers that’s going to be the next me?” I don’t want to meet her; I’d be embarrassed.

What’s the worst-case scenario [for your caeer in five years]?
Umm…that I’d be on The Hills?

I suppose I could link you to the full thing on Entertainment Weekly's site. I mean, the stuff that spew out of her mouth are hilarious. Here's another snippet.

EW: You've only done a couple of movies, so you're still mostly known as a sex symbol rather than an actress.

Fox: It doesn't bother me. I don't know why someone would complain about that. That just means that the bar has been set pretty low. People don't expect me to do anything that's worth watching. So I can only be an overachiever. I think all women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. That's what our purpose is in this business. You're merchandised, you're a product. You're sold and it's based on sex. I think women should be empowered by that, not degraded.

Here are some more choice quotes from the 23-year-old actress:

Megan Fox: I happened to be such an outrageous personality that people wanted to start writing about me because it was deemed controversial.

I think most people are extremely insecure. As far as girls go, I have a really badass personality. I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation. So I'm not afraid to speak, and I think that's what people read as this überconfidence. I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it.

Women seem to have an issue with you. Do you get that impression?

Sure, for the same reason they didn't like me in high school. I come across as confident and they assume that means that I think I'm hot shit. And that makes them feel bad about themselves and so they hate me.

You also said that when you go to Hollywood parties you feel like chum to these creepy older guys...

I notice them circling me and deciding what their plan of attack is going to be, and I think that's because I have this image of this little sex kitten — this oversexed wild child. So they think that I'm ready to throw down. And so everybody wants to try and, like, get in there. And I'm actually not that way at all.

tldr: überbrainless Megan Fox is shallow human garbage setting back gender roles by 5 decades. Don't believe me? Look at her quote from her days working on the set of Bad Boys

Megan Fox: I got paid extra because if you allow them (crew) to put water on you, you get paid extra. I got probably 600 dollars. "I thought it was awesome. I was going to a Christian high school and I wasn''t a feminist yet... I just did what I was told to do.

That was as an extra in Bad Boys 2. Michale Bay is her abuser. Just remember that the next time you see all the uber hot looking women in a Michael Bay film. They get paid extra to get hosed off.

So there you go. Transformers 2: Racism and Sexism. Then again, when did I become such a prude? It's just that if you've read those interviews you'll get a fine whiff of superficiality. She's a PG-13 pornstar who thinks actresses are empowered by only getting typecast into eye-candy sex roles. She's a self-described feminist who is clueless about feminism and is actually harming the feminist cause with her exclusive "total slut" roles in mass media (quotation hers), would lead me 2 believe she is at best willfully ignorant and at worst a greedy narcissist.

Mass media such as movies can have the power to change minds and attitudes. as for responsibility, any celebrity or public figure is viewed by millions of malleable minds, and their actions and attitudes can either maintain the status quo (Hollywood's White Patriarchy) or shift it toward a more egalitarian society. since we already know her next movie (she's a 16 year old "total slut" who has an orgy with a group of men) its safe to assume she prefers the patriarchy.

Hell, the fact that me, as a guy, would bring up how awful she sounds as a feminist when I've talked so much about the issue would show that she's pretty god damn awful when it comes to talking about all that. It's just a matter that why bother with this PG-13 porn with Linkon Park as the soundtrack when for the same shitty story, you're better off watching actual porn.

Don't Try To Upfront It, Yo.

Don't Try To Upfront It, Yo

Well, with a name like WeirdTV, I think perhaps I should touch on strange shit or at the very least shit that happens on TV, right? Yeah. It has been a while since I even focused on that sort of stuff. Generally because I was busy working on some god awful sing-a-long lip singing production that will not be named due to potentials of lawsuits and nondisclosure agreements. But it's good to have a chance to talk about Television news.

Today I touch on the Upfronts. What are the Upfronts? The upfronts are where the Studio brings its new pilots in front of Executives and Advertisers, allowing marketers to buy commercial airtime "up front", or several months before the season begins. Upfronts typically occur during the third week of May, the last full week of that month's sweeps period.

Although a lot of news has dribbled out over the last few weeks, official announcements should be forthcoming for any existing shows left on the bubble, as well as a surprise announcement or two surrounding your favorite pilot. Ah yes, the wonderful world of pilots. I've helped write a failed one and then there's all the ones I did work on that never saw the light of day.

Since you're more than likely wondering what actually made it and what didn't, here's how your tv watching will shape up to be come fall.

CBS Schedule:

MONDAY

8:00-8:30 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
8:30-9:00 ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE
9:00-9:30 TWO AND A HALF MEN
9:30-10:00 THE BIG BANG THEORY
10:00-11:00 CSI: MIAMI

TUESDAY

8:00-9:00 NCIS
9:00-10:00 NCIS: LOS ANGELES
10:00-11:00 THE GOOD WIFE

WEDNESDAY

8:00-8:30 THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE
8:30-9:00 GARY UNMARRIED
9:00-10:00 CRIMINAL MINDS
10:00-11:00 CSI: NY

THURSDAY

8:00-9:00 SURVIVOR
9:00-10:00 CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION
10:00-11:00 THE MENTALIST

FRIDAY

8:00-9:00 GHOST WHISPERER
9:00-10:00 MEDIUM
10:00-11:00 NUMB3RS

SATURDAY

8:00-9:00 CRIMETIME SATURDAY
9:00-10:00 CRIMETIME SATURDAY
10:00-11:00 48 HOURS MYSTERY

SUNDAY

7:00-8:00 60 MINUTES
8:00-9:00 THE AMAZING RACE
9:00-10:00 THREE RIVERS
10:00-11:00 COLD CASE

Thrilling, right? Looks like Big Bang Theory is being nurtured to be Two and a Half's replacement as the comedy anchor of the night. Not much else to say besides this: NCIS:LA? Really? It looks like it's an NCIS night in there. I can't really say I care much about this line up. There's like two shows that I'll watch in there.

NBC Schedule:

MONDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Heroes”
9-10 p.m.–”TRAUMA”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

TUESDAY

8-10 p.m. - “The Biggest Loser” (two-hour edition)
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

WEDNESDAY

8-9 p.m. - “PARENTHOOD”
9-10 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

THURSDAY

8- 8:30 p.m. - “SNL WEEKEND UPDATE THURSDAY” (multi-episode run)
8:30-9 p.m. - “Parks and Recreation”
9- 9:30 p.m. - “The Office”
9:30-10 p.m. - “COMMUNITY” (moves to Thursdays 8-8:30 p.m. after multi-episode run “30 Rock” returns)
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

FRIDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Law & Order”
9-10 p.m. - “Southland”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

SATURDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Dateline NBC”
9-10 p.m. - “TRAUMA” (encore broadcast)
10-11 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY

7- 8:20 p.m. “Football Night in America”
8:20-11 p.m. “NBC Sunday Night Football”

NBC MID-SEASON 2010 SCHEDULE

(2010 WINTER OLYMPICS preempt regularly scheduled programming from February 12-28, 2010)
*New programs in UPPER CASE

MONDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Chuck” (season premiere)
9-10 p.m.–”DAY ONE”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

TUESDAY

8-9:30 p.m. - “The Biggest Loser” (90-minute edition)
9:30-10 p.m. - “100 QUESTIONS”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

WEDNESDAY

8-9 p.m. - “MERCY”
9-10 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

THURSDAY

8- 8:30 p.m. - “COMMUNITY”
8:30-9 p.m. - “Parks and Recreation”
9- 9:30 p.m. - “The Office”
9:30-10 p.m. - “30 Rock”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

FRIDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Law & Order”
9-10 p.m. - “Southland”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

SATURDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Dateline NBC”
9-10 p.m. - “Southland” (encore broadcast)
10-11 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY

7-8 p.m. - “Dateline NBC”
8-9 p.m. - THE MARRIAGE REF
9-11 p.m. - “The Celebrity Apprentice” (season premiere; two-hour edition)

My Name Is Earl is shit canned. So is Medium. Medium is getting put on CBS, which is funny since they put it on next to Ghost Whisperer. And while Jennifer Love Hewitt over Patricia Arquette, you kinda have to appreciate the oddness of having the knock off version of one show next to the other.

My Name Is Earl, that's a sad state. I worked on that show. I enjoyed it. Sure, I haven't sat down and watched the last season, but seeing it go out like that because NBC doesn't make bank off the television production of it is sort of a shame. No worries, Fox, who does produce it, is shopping it around.

Also on the list is WAAAAAAAY too much Jay Leno. I'm looking forward to Conan taking over the Tonight Show though.


ABC's fall schedule:

MONDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars” (two hours)
10:00 p.m. “Castle”

TUESDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Shark Tank”
9:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show”
10:00 p.m. “The Forgotten”

WEDNESDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Hank”
8:30 p.m. “The Middle”
9:00 p.m. “Modern Family”
9:30 p.m. “Cougar Town”
10:00 p.m. “Eastwick”

THURSDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Flash Forward”
9:00 p.m. “Grey’s Anatomy”
10:00 p.m. “Private Practice”

FRIDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Supernanny”
9:00 p.m. “Ugly Betty”
10:00 p.m. “20/20”

SATURDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Saturday Night College Football”

SUNDAY:
7:00 p.m. “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
8:00 p.m. “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”
9:00 p.m. “Desperate Housewives”
10:00 p.m. “Brothers & Sisters”

Quite a bit of new shows, especially on Wednesday night. Castle gets a second season? Nathan finally gets a show into second season status? Well color me surprised. Good job, captain tightpants.

Sadly, ABC decided to pass on the U.S. version of No Heroics. Which is a British original and it was a pretty funny take on the whole heroes stuff. I doubt the U.S. version would ever keep in the gay sex jokes. though. Ohwell.

Then we get to Fox. Thank you for the paycheck, bend over so I can pucker up my lips..

FOX Fall 2009 PRIMETIME SCHEDULE:

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 HOUSE
9:00-10:00 LIE TO ME

TUESDAY
8:00-10:00 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Performance Show

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Results Show
9:00-10:00 GLEE

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 BONES
9:00-10:00 FRINGE

FRIDAY
8:00-8:30 BROTHERS
8:30-9:00 ‘TIL DEATH
9:00-10:00 DOLLHOUSE

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 COPS
8:30-9:00 COPS
9:00-10:00 AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
11:00-Midnight THE WANDA SYKES SHOW (working title)
Midnight-12:30 ANIMATION DOMINATION ENCORES

SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 THE OT (NFL post-game)
8:00-8:30 THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 THE CLEVELAND SHOW
9:00-9:30 FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 AMERICAN DAD

Here is the Fox 2010 Mid season Schedule:

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 HOUSE
9:00-10:00 24

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 AMERICAN IDOL Performance Show
9:00-10:00 PAST LIFE

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 AMERICAN IDOL Results Show
9:00-10:00 HUMAN TARGET (January) / GLEE (spring)

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 BONES
9:00-10:00 FRINGE

FRIDAY
8:00-8:30 BROTHERS
8:30-9:00 ‘TIL DEATH
9:00-10:00 DOLLHOUSE

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 COPS
8:30-9:00 COPS
9:00-10:00 AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
11:00 -Midnight THE WANDA SYKES SHOW (working title)
Midnight-12:30 ANIMATION DOMINATION ENCORES

SUNDAY
7:00-7:30 ANIMATION DOMINATION ENCORES
7:30-8:00 AMERICAN DAD
8:00-8:30 THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 SONS OF TUCSON
9:00-9:30 FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 THE CLEVELAND SHOW

A lot of interesting things to be seen from that. First off, did you see that Saturday night line up? America's Most Wanted is still on the air? WHAT THE FUCK? No, not that, silly. I'm talking about the midnight and later stuff. Looks like they're trying to tap into the Adult Swim crowd. Which is strange because they sell most of their shows to Cartoon Network's Adult Swim program line up.

American Dad is also getting the dredded 7:30 Sunday death slot. While it shows that it's the bottom of the totum pole, King of the hill survived a lot of years there. Still, doesn't show a lot of promise to a healthy future for that show.

Then you have dollhouse. Which is getting two comedies to lead into the Friday night slot. At least with Terminator, which was killed and WB doesn't give a shit about keeping alive somewhere else, it had a Sci-fi/Nerd appeal. Dollhouse also is booked for both parts of the season. Maybe Fox is really hopeful that they'll order more?

My vote for BEST IN SHOW goes to Jimmy Kimmel. Mr. Kimmel then took a verbal swing at his own network, reminding the audience that ABC had attempted to hire away Mr. Leno when his tenure ended at NBC’s “Tonight Show.” But, according Mr. Kimmel, NBC said it would not give up Mr. Leno, “even if we have to destroy our own network to keep him.

Jimmy Kimmel Said

Let's get real here. Let's get Dr. Phil-real here. These new fall shows? We're going to cancel about 90 percent of them. Maybe more.

Every year we lie to you and every year you come back for more. You don't need an upfront. You need therapy. We completely lie to you, and then you pass those lies onto your clients.

Next year on ‘Grey's Anatomy,' your product could kill Dr. Izzie. It just depends on how much you want to pay.

"I think all our shows are going to work this year. I really do. I don't, really."

"The important thing to remember is: who cares, it's not your money."

Kimmel also took a shot at NBC and Jay Leno, whom ABC once courted to possibly replace him when his contract with NBC expired, saying that they're "giving Jay's viewers exactly what they want. An early-bird special."

I'm sure ABC will return the favor once they are up for renewing his show. Still, it's a pretty honest thing to say. Wont change a thing, but honest.

So there you have it. A preview of your fall tivo setting lineup. Hope you enjoyed this boring trip into the actual TV world of a blog by Wierd TV...