Saturday, June 30, 2018

Fucking Over Boomers By Not Fucking

Fucking Over Boomers By Not Fucking

The title is pretty crude, I know. But if you're new to this blog, let me fill you in. I dislike baby boomers. If the WWII generation was the greatest generation, the Baby Boomers that followed were the worst ones possible. In every potential way I want to say fuck baby boomers.

A new report shows that the inability of Millennials to want to have kids is going to have a very big repercussion towards the lamest generation and Boomers are going to have something more to bitch about Mellinnials about. Boomers will just complain that Millennials are so damn lazy and obsessed with Avocado toast, that they're just not having sex and generating more off spring that this whole pyramid scheme of a circle of life is.

Won't someone think of our real-estate values?

The reality is that most of my generation as well as Millennials can barely make enough to cover medical bills, rent or even food. You add in the fact that student loans are crushing a vast majority of them, it makes you wonder what's the point then.

So Fuck boomers. They have basically fucked society to the point it becomes an act of good conscience to not bring a child into this world. And now they're whining that it's going to mess with their real estate portfolios and potential retirement investments?

Go suck a dick, you assholes.

Okay, let me just throw it out there, I know many fine upstanding Boomers in this world. They're not all pieces of shit. But there's enough pieces of shit out there that I can safely say that they fucked themselves on this one. Their whole generation is a bunch of entitled narcissists that can go right on and fuck off.


Wages have been stagnant for about 45 years now, how do you expect anyone to afford the $14k a year that the average daycare cost. Let alone the luxuries of home buying for living - fuck as an investment. I just want to throw it out there, stop buying homes that you want to live in as an investment. Boomers came up with that concept of having a home as an investment rather than a place you can survive from the harsh mistress that is the weather.  But Boomers just eat up all that shit about Flip this House and other DIY television. I can't wait till the suburbs are just the new ghetto in the next decade since no one can afford to buy shit and it'll all be foreign investors.

So the complaint is that Millennials don't want to have kids. Let's face it - Kids are fucking expensive. I know those parents out there reading this are thinking that they wouldn't give up their child for the world. That's probably because you endured several years of having to literally wipe their shit off their ass, the floors and walls. So it's not so much unconditional love as it is Stockholm syndrome.

I kid. No, seriously, kids are expensive. Most of this generation will never even dream of owning a home on the way the jobs market is going. Let alone dream to be able to pay for the kid's education and upbringing for 18 years. Add in another 5 for when they move back home from that way too expensive college that gave them not much more job opportunity for. 

Boomers generally talk about generations after them being lazy. Yet they can't seem to grasp the idea that for their land of plenty generation, people just walked in to a company to ask about a job and were handed a full time gig with benefits. In today's climate you need to have a PhD in job hunting, a perfect resume for the position you pray to get and practiced interview and social skills. So yeah, I don't blame people for not wanting kids when they can barely even get a job that pays a living wage.

Shit, my generation won't even get to really retire thanks to these useless greedy assholes. The skinny of it is that if the boomers wanted grandkids so fucking badly, they'd actually support conditions that would encourage their kids to procreate. You know, like voting for nationalized healthcare and college forgiveness/free tuition programs. You can't expect a plant to grow if you're only yelling about how lazy it is and how back in your day plants watered themselves.

But, you know, they don't vote for any of that shit because they're self-absorbed assholes. Who don't really care about children and are more concerned on if they could sell their home to someone who doesn't have any use for a giant nuclear family setting house like that. For you see, we need the fresh, untainted blood of children to feed Na'thgl'rn. The Elder God of Capitalism. We better start having these babies so we can sacrifice them to our dark God of currency.

To be fair though, and giving Boomers some credit, when you think about it, it's really the goal of every generation to make life for the next generation that much more difficult. I think it's just practicing voluntary human extinction.

Sure, there's those that will wonder if it's really worth sitting around in your old age, childless, waiting to die knowing you wasted your chance to leave a legacy on earth and contribute in recirculating human DNA as a contribution to the future of your species just to have more time to travel, have brunches and be content? The answer is YES. You will be dead, so why the fuck would you care what happens to the next generation after yourself? I guess that's what causes this whole mess to begin with. That gut instinct of not giving a fuck.

In the end, there is literally nothing entitled fucking boomers won't blame on Millennials. At least I can sleep easy at night knowing that when boomers can't sell their big suburban homes to a millennial they'll just end up dying in the streets because they cannot afford the for-profit healthcare market they sure seem to fucking love.

Ultimately the lesson to be learned here is that your kids will not give a shit about you when you are old, you're better off just not creating the object of your destruction unless you happen to not have really solid pull out game and just hate money and don't mind an 18 year prison sentence.  

1 comment:

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