The Men Who Slaughter Goats On Black Friday

The Men Who Slaughter Goats On Black Friday

I suppose I'm pretty anti-black friday. This mentality comes from the idea of wasting time and not really getting the best savings. Black Friday is all about dealing with large crowds for no real reason. I'm sure many of you look forward to trampling and killing your fellow man for a $29.99 DVD player (regular price $39.99), but I don't really think that's my style. Neither do I want to sacrifice to Shub-Niggurath, the black friday of the burbs with a thousand white young in order to get some of those "hot deals" that everyone is looking forward to.

Hell, my best deals come from the regular year round shopping that pop up every once in a while. I got UP and Monsters Inc. a few weeks back on Blu ray for a grand total of 98 cents for the pair. So you can see why I really don't go in for the Black Friday says. It's the mob mentality that puts me off. Also the stupidity.



I talked to a family that sat since 1pm Thanksgiving day with a tent set up at a Best Buy in order to be one of the first in lines for the sales. To me, thanksgiving should be spent with those special people in your life. Be it friends or families in a warm setting with good food and the ability to give thanks for being together... then again, I doubt you really can get that across while you're eating some beans out of a can next to a tent with freezing conditions outside of a Best Buy.

But to add to this is that the companies got shit for doing something that is not in the Christian "correct" Yup, God durn a-rabs interfering with mah christian tradition of trampling over epople for a LCD TV..

Best Buy Ad's Mention Of Muslim Holiday Irks Some Customers

A recent Best Buy ad (hat tip to CrunchGear) promoting the store's Black Friday sales includes a nod to the Muslim holiday Eid Al-Adha, which is celebrated that day.

Sounds rather innocent, doesn't it?

Instead of being praised for its inclusiveness, Best Buy is being attacked by some customers who have made their views known on the company's message board. Some consumers are particularly irked because the home electronics retailer recently announced that it will no longer put "Merry Christmas" in its flyers.

Conservative groups like the the American Family Association began attacking the retailer in 2006 after the chain said it would replace "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Holidays" in its ads. Best Buy, for its part, denies it has abandoned the C word altogether; it can be found on gift cards and online. The AFA has yet to comment on the ad.

The AFA has also called for a boycott of The Gap for its new holiday commercial which includes shout-outs to Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Solstice, in addition to Christmas.

But there seems to be a small and vocal group of Best Buy customers who don't appreciate the flyer. Some of the colorful customer responses on Best Buy's message board include (please note that these may not accurately reflect the nature of the holiday Eid Al-Adha):

"Makes sense. Stop saying Christmas because you dont want to be associated with Jesus, and instead associate yourself with goat sacrifice. Truly noble. I think ill go to Best Buy with a dead goat."

Or this response:

"Eid is not about "giving to the poor", etc. It is about sacrifice. I live in a Muslim country and the streets literally run with blood during this holiday. That is not an exaggeration. Yes, they give some of the meat to the poor...but it is all about sacrifice."

These are the same right wing nuts who bashed Obama for honoring Eid Al-Adha and totally ignored the fact that Bush also did the exact same thing. The funniest thing about this is that Eid Al-Adha is the commemoration of Ibrahim's (Abraham's) willingness to sacrifice his son for Allah. So it's a Christian and Jewish occasion as well, if not an outright festival. I mean, it is from the same scriptures, right?



Then there's those who are screaming bloody murder because it deals with slitting Goats throats and pouring the blood on the street. Isn't animal sacrifice part of Christian mythology as well? Not to mention that the day before Black Friday was god damn Thanksgiving. We did the same thing but only replaced Goats with Turkeys.

In all versions, Cain is a crop farmer and his younger brother Abel is a shepherd.[7] Cain is portrayed as sinful, committing the first murder by killing his brother,[8] after God[9] has rejected his offerings of produce but accepted the animal sacrifices brought by Abel.[10]

But it's a Muslamorabic name! Don't they know that if they won't let us commercialize their Holidays, people will never accept them. At least Best Buy stuck to their guns on this one you can see their strong defense at their use of the phrase on their message board.

Best Buy’s customers and employees around the world represent a variety of faiths and denominations. We respect that diversity and choose to greet our customers and employees in ways that reflect their traditions.

We do use the word “holiday” in some of our advertising because it is meant to be inclusive to everyone. However, just as we have in the past, we will also reference specific holidays such as Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa in our weekly ads, store signage and other advertising vehicles.

We encourage our employees to interact with customers naturally and wish them a Merry Christmas or share whatever greeting is appropriate for the holiday they are celebrating.

Looking at the Bestbuy forums makes me feel like I accidentally wandered into Freep. Then again... Why the fuck would anyone post on a bestbuy forum? It can't be to make friends. Not at all. Best Buy lied about my warranty.. No friends of mine! Hmm, sounds like a good chant. BEST BUY LIED! GOATS DIED!

Let's see what some of those posters are saying;

"Makes sense. Stop saying Christmas because you dont want to be associated with Jesus, and instead associate yourself with goat sacrifice. Truly noble. I think ill go to Best Buy with a dead goat."

You could with your oldest son if that makes you feel better. I have no doubt that associating yourself with goat sacrifice will capture the coveted 18-25 male market. I mean, they have been playing Modern Combat 2 for the last few weeks.

Perhaps next they should release a flyer that says "We declare Jihad on high prices!!!" I will be a Best Buy costumer then. Even if they have tried to offer/sell me an extended warranty on CD/DVD spindles I bought there before.

While a little surprised that Best Buy has their own forum, I found one for Chipotle.. and now 'm forever scarred to the plight of our nation. But it's nice to see all the Abrahamic religions getting along so well considering it's the same fucking fairytale three times except with slightly different names and outcomes. What sort of savage religion would hold up a blood sacrifice as some sort of positive thing? Good thing those Christians have Jesus instead!

But again, this is the day after fucking thanksgiving and Americans are tut-tuting about "goat sacrifice"? Maybe it's cause the goats died for nothing.. right? NOTHING AT ALL! They may have been eaten at some point, but that's entirely peripheral to the matter at hand. I wonder if everyone in America had to raise their own turkeys for thanksgiving, if the streets filled with blood, would we do anything different? Especially given the number of people who go hunting for sport.

You Know Who Gets My Goat?

You Know Who Gets My Goat?

Last year I took the time to give.. and give I did. In the form of unleashing bees on the poor souls of some backwards ass country that was highlighted on 24. It was my way to say FUCK YOU to poverty and to stamp out hunger... in the form giving unleashing the wrath of bees on the less fortunate through the Heifer International foundation. You buy an animal and they send it to the family so that they can support themselves on what it provides. Pick yourself up by your own bootstraps type of program.

I looked at it this way, I was paying $30 to help a family increase their crop yields and earn extra income through the magic of pollination. In reality I was paying $30 to prank the fuck out of some poor people by foisting a swarm of angry bees on them. It was a win/win situation if I ever saw one. To think, for only 0.08 cents a day, I was able to instill the fear of bees onto a child who already had enough to worry about.



I made the donation and slept a little easier that night. Mainly because I didn't have a box full of bees coming my way. Over the past year I received monthly magazines of WORLD ARK constantly hoping to hear that my bees unleashed uncountable amounts of horrors on their new owners. No luck.

Here we are again in the middle of the Christmas season and much like the idea of recycling is appealing in April, the idea of being charitable is on everyones mind. Namely Heifer International as I received an order form as to what sort of animal I want dump on a family this year.



The thought process was long and took some time. Last year I gave them bees. I can't give that again. Not only was it ineffective in instilling the fear of whatever coke bottle they call God, but you can't follow up bees with more bees. One must follow proper gift giving manners. Let's take a look at the other options as to what to give.

Llama - Llame. Whens the last time a llama even made the news.
Water Buffalo - This would only lead them to cutting off their wings and really, Africa is not ready for a Hooters any time soon.
Cow - After seeing how hamburgers create fatties here, I'd say it's a charity case to NOT give them one.
Flock of chicks - If it was a flock of seagulls, I'd gladly pay to send them to Africa.
Flock of ducks -Again, not seagulls.
Flock of geese - Since foire gras will be illegal in California, send them here before it's outlawed!
Trio of rabbits - I have this thing with rabbits. It's not Easter, it's Christmas. No rabbits!
Trees - Wait.. what? A tree as charity? Come on. I'm trying to give someone something that will help them. A tree seems so generic.
pig - It just doesn't seem like a good gift. It's like giving someone a meat log from the mall... only much less cooked.



So that rules out a lot of choices but leaves me wondering what exactly am I going to get these poor Africans. Then it hits me, if I can't unleash swarms of bees on people, I can at least play it off for a laugh and there we get the Goat. At the very least I can laugh with the witty remark that they're getting my goat.

Add in that Goats are wacky animals. They eat all kinds of shit that is just left around. Put anything in front of a goat and turn around for a minute. Bet you that when you look again that goat will be chewing on it. I once saw a goat eat a soda can only later to be milked. I'm not sure about you, but I don't want any added iron in my frosted flakes, thank you kindly.



In all truths, it's nice to help out some random strangers around the world who are willing to work for themselves but just need a little push. Bees may sound like a scary thing to you or I, but to them it could provide a quality of life that is not only filled with bee stings, but is now one where they can exchange and sell Honey. Goats, while eating everything in sight, can help maintain a field and provide milk and cheese products that can be sold at the market. In a world where most charities have very little of the money actually going towards the cause, it's nice to know that your money is being used wisely... in this case, used to actually get a family your donation.

On a final note, the charity mentioned in Mondays blog that put people in the torture position of playing Desert Bus gets some attention from one of the creators of the damned unreleased game as Penn speaks out on the matter.
CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO
Enjoy that extra insight on it.