Haggis: Change I Can Believe In

Haggis: Change I Believe In

You know.. I didn't even realize this, but Haggis was actually banned in America since 1989. Well, not really Haggis in any form, just the more traditional Haggis with Sheep throat in it. I mean, when you have a meal made up of the extra body parts of the animal, not having the sheep's stomach or throat really make the difference. But it seems that Haggis is finally going to be un-outlawed in the United States.

The US government said it is planning to relax the ban on imported meats which prevents the sale of haggis.

The Scottish government said it was greatly encouraged by the move, which was also welcomed by haggis producers.

The ban was introduced in 1989 because of concerns about the safety of British meat during the BSE scare.

On the eve of Burns night, the US Department of Agriculture said new regulations were being drafted, in line with international standards.

'Greatly encouraged'

Imports of Scotland's iconic dish were banned by the US 21 years ago because it contains offal ingredients such as sheep lungs.

In the words of Scotland's bard Robert Burns in his Ode to a haggis, the US could be said to have looked down with "sneering, scornful view" on the "great chieftain o' the puddin'-race".

The dish is traditionally served with neeps and tatties on Burns night (25 January).

Scottish Rural Affairs Secretary Richard Lochhead said: "I am greatly encouraged to hear that the US authorities are planning a review of the unfair ban on haggis imports.

"We are in regular contact with the industry on this issue and believe that reversing the ban would deliver a vote of confidence in Scottish producers, and allow American consumers to sample our world renowned national dish.

"An increasing number of people at home and abroad are recognising the fact that the Saltire is a stamp of quality.

"It's time for the US authorities to deliver a Burns Night boost and recognise that Scottish haggis is outstanding quality produce."

Jo MacSween, co-director of Macsween Haggis, said it would come as good news to expats and tourists.

She said: "I'm very excited by this news.

"In my experience when I have encountered American tourists in Scotland they absolutely loved it.

"So they will be delighted that next time they come to visit they can not only take it back but hopefully manufacturers like us will actually start shipping it there too."

Ms MacSween said sales of haggis were no longer confined to the Burns Night season in January.

The company has also diversified into products such as haggis nachos, she said.

Yay! Haggis! I'm sure America is cheering as a sign of progress appears. Renewed hope thanks to the action for something that should have been done almost 20 years ago. And again, I honestly didn't even know that there was a ban on this shit so I never even knew that Haggis was forbidden fruit. If I did, I may have actually made it a long time ago.



It's just another clear sign of our cultural decline. What kind of nation considers itself FREE when you can't legally buy, by U.S. and many state and local laws purchase or take part in the sale or consumption of sheep stomachs and/or brains? Who declared that sheep lungs are dangerous for humans to eat while still maintaining the fact that McDonalds could legally sell "McRibs" ? Answer me that.

I mean, it was only two years ago that the Sc0ts were requesting that America lifted the ban on this.

The Scottish Government is considering asking the United States to rethink its ban on haggis imports.

Imports of Scotland's iconic dish were banned by the US in 1989 in the wake of the BSE scare because it contains offal ingredients such as sheep lungs.

Only an offal-free version of haggis is available in the US.

The move would be backed by renowned haggis maker Macsween, which believes the American market could be a very lucrative one.

I mean.. it's something even Sean Connary could enjoy.. right? Hmm, Guess not. I don't see the big stink over Haggis. I mean even with their ingredients well know, it's not really that bad. How many of you eat Hot Dogs on a daily basis? Yeah, that's what I thought. You should never talk shit about Haggis again unless you make it a point to never touch another pig's anus and meat by-product filled Hot Dog again.

There's certainly a disconnect between what we eat and our knowledge on how it's made. If we were to really know how most of our food was made, we wouldn't be so carefree about it. Hell, half the shit you see at the market is nothing more than a couple of chemicals piled together to sort of taste like what you expect it to taste like. All thanks to lovely chemicals. So the idea that America has this high moral ladder because they don't allow Sheep's throat to be sold seems really comical in retrospect.



How about we just ban Potato pancakes? I mean, that's sort of what this 1989 mandate really did. You see, it's Burns Night.. er day. Yes, Burns Night. Today is actually a Holiday. So when you called in for work telling them you weren't coming in because of some obscure fake holiday, it was actually true.

What do you do on Burns night? Why you have a Burns supper, of course! It's a celebration of the life and poetry of the poet Robert Burns. He was the author of many Scots poems. So you're suppose to have supper on the poet's birthday. This is a common thing in Scotland and Northern Ireland. Since I have this fetish for red hair and that seems to be the mecca of this sort of hair condition, I suppose I know a little bit of Scottish Culture.



This tradition has gone back since the end of the 18th Century by Robert Burns' friends on the anniversary of his death. This supper is suppose to be a little informal and much like our thanksgiving is full of turkey, the Burns tradition is to have Scotch whisky and Haggis. You're also suppose to recite a lot of Burns' poetry.

So yay! I wonder if my local butcher shop will have sheep stomach and throat up for sale today. I want to celebrate Burns Nicht in style! Is there any more outdated and stupid bans we have going for food? Oh yeah.. Foie Gras. Fuck whomever thinks that it's hurting the animal. It's not.



So regardless if you're Scottish or not, it's going to be fun celebrating Burns Nicht. I mean, he was the national poet of Scotland who wrote such classics as Auld Lang Syne and Comin' Thro' the Rey, which if you want to get into facts was the poem that inspired J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye. And how can he not be a hero of mine in the method that he was a boozer and a womanizer? So much so that by the time he died of the elderly age of 37, he had fathered a total of 9 kids.

So with that folks, Happy Burns Night everyone!

Iron Man: Enter Black Widow

Iron Man: Enter Black Widow

Iron Man 2 is currently wrapping up filming right now and this weeks Entertainment Weekly gives us a little insight. Of course, if you've been driving around anywhere in L.A, you'd more than likely have already seen some glimpse of this movie being filmed. If you were driving by the 405 the other week and saw a large green screen on the dam, then you were seeing them filming Iron Man.



Looks like it'll be at least grand in scale in terms of movies. I mean, I loved Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. was perfect for the role of Tony Stark. Recovering alcoholic and all! After that film, Jon Favreau could do no wrong. As you can see from the latest Entertainment Weekly, they seem to have a good footing on what they're doing for the sequel.

When Marvel Studios first announced the sequel, no one was sure what the movie would be about. Downey, director Jon Favreau, screenwriter Justin Theroux, and the rest of the creative team struck upon the idea of introducing two very different foes for Stark. On one side is Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell), a fast-talking weapons manufacturer who fancies himself the next Tony Stark; on the other, Vanko, who, while incarcerated in a Russian prison, creates his own battle-suit, which shoots devastating, whip-like beams. Hammer and Whiplash join forces to take down Downey’s character, Tony Stark. Rourke, for his part, wanted to instill some lightness into the role of the heavy. "I told Favreau, 'I don't want to just play him as a one-dimensional p----,'" he says. "He let me have a cockatoo, who I talk to and get drunk with while I’m making my suit."

Just as the deals were being hammered out, Terrence Howard -- who had played Stark’s best friend -- fell out of the sequel in a public salary dispute. The role was re-cast, with Don Cheadle stepping in. "We had to make some tough deals," says Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige. "When they got public, you go, 'That sucks. Okay, you want a peek behind the curtain? Here you are!'" Says Cheadle, "Terrence and I couldn’t be more different. We address it head-on in the movie in one exchange. We're not trying to fool people." (Cheadle admits he didn’t know much about Marvel’s superhero before the first movie came out: "I always thought Iron Man was a robot.")

But then, we get to the real meat and potatoes of the article. The point where my interest gets peaked! When they mention Scarlett Johansson. Holy hell, has it been since Ghost World that I had a crush on you? My, that's been a long time since that little indie comic film was released. Who would have known that the world would jump all over your.. um.. ok, I'll just say it.. Boooooooooobs. Seems like everyone is all up on her grill. Let's see what EW has to say about her role

Adding more flesh and blood to the new movie, Scarlett Johansson joined the cast as Stark’s mysterious new assistant, Natasha, who has an alter ego of her own, Black Widow. That introduction inevitably sparks romantic tension between Stark and former assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), who’s been promoted to CEO of Stark Industries. "The men want it to be, like, 'Ooh, the girls are fighting over Tony,' but it's not as standard as that," says Paltrow. "There's a weird male catfight fantasy. Downey agrees. He believes what differentiates the franchise from other superhero series can be summarized as follows: "We're horny. Not, like, can't-bring-your-kids horny, but just…horny."

The question remains whether Iron Man 2 will soar like the first film or show signs of rust when it hits theaters. "People are going to be more critical," says Downey. "That’s their prerogative….In a way, there's no way to win, except to win. Big."

For more on Iron Man, as well as a first look at the hottest movies and TV shows heading to Comic-Con, pick up the new issue of Entertainment Weekly on stands Friday July 17.

As a comic nerd... and most of all, a guy who has a weakness for redheads.. and already had a weakness for Scarlett Johansson, I'm going to be weak at the knees here. Black Widow is one of those bad girls who just kicks ass and doesn't take names. Besides that, she's the love interest to Bucky Barnes, the new Captain America. A character that I can relate to given my years as a teenage fighting in World War II.



So who is this comic character? She's some russian spy who seems to always be triple and quadriple crossing someone or other. A person that really can't be trusted but is always one that you want near you because of her looks. Yes, it's superficial like that... Not to mention she can back it up when needs be. Though I suppose the most cheese cake to really come close to Scarlett in terms of looking exactly like Black Widow is from artist Frank Cho. But that's cause he loves a little meat on the bones of his drawings.



See, at first I was a little worried about Scarlett as Black Widow. Not because of her acting or anything. I typically don't think blondes are all that much special. But then you give her red hair? Jesus man, why don't you just give me a heart attack or something. Clearly some force of nature is trying to kill me! Curse you film industry! Wait, that's where I work. never mind that cursing. It's allllll good.



And speaking of the real life world of Scarlett, it's a little strange to think that Black Widow is with Hal Jordan. Oh how the worlds of marvel and dc have been blurred. Wait, did that make any sense to you non-comic nerds? You see, Ryan Reynolds is going to be Hal Jordan, one of my favorite characters in comics today. He's Green Lantern..



And as to why I wrote about Iron Man instead of the news that Ryan Reynolds getting the role of Hal Jordan? Well, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about Ryan getting the role of Hal. He's already Deadpool and Hannibal King. Does he need to be another comic book character? I can't hate the role because behind all his smart ass remarks, he does have the acting chops to handle it a bit more seriously. If you doubt me on that, go rent Adventureland. Not only is it a great movie but it also shows he can take the more serious tone while still being a cocky asshole.

The Irish Are Pathetic, Potato Eating Filth...

The Irish Are Pathetic, Potato Eating Filth...

But I love them anyway. I jest of course. If my morning in court is anything to show for my day, I really do need a drink. Perhaps one that is food colored green may be of help. But at the end of the day I had a rather good day. I split a shamrock shake and I got to work on an Irish themed show... be it in all it's pop singing glory. I also got to eat some corned beef. Can there be any better way to spend this festive day that celebrates


RACIST!

I have a sort of a love/hate relationship with St. Patty's day. On one hand the widespread caricaturing of Irish people as drunkard simpletons with funny accents is racist as all hell. On the other hand everyone dressing up in green and going out to get drunk seems to undermine the notion of st Patrick's day as a day to be proud of being Irish and therefore undermine related retarded nationalism so it could be a good thing.

Then again, the Irish people don't care about the racist caricature because they are by nature of their blood a strong people who aren't whiny pussies. Usually Irish lads and lasses are some of my favorite people. When you go through a devastating famine because you're lacking Fry material, you learn to become an upbeat person.


Aye, just how I like 'em... Red and pasty.

I don't seem to celebrate St. Patrick's day these days because it seems to be an excuse for everyone in the west to get drunk as hell and spend lots of money and I'd rather not be part of that. It really comes out to light how much it sucks when I go to the my regular 5pm happy hour, every bar is packed to the gills with white college students wearing Kelly tophats and boas. I think the real drunks are hurt by this holiday instead of praised.

What are the incentives to going to a bar on St. Patty's day anyway? You get the option of green beer. Which, while it's a nice novelty, a bottle of green food dye would take care of that for you. The bars are extremely packed and there is no happy hour or special deal. Why would their be? They know everyone will be out in full force getting their drink on anyway.


Aye, Irish Lass!

On to the Irish women. I'm a big fan of red hair. It's no damn secret. It's just what I like. Can you blame me? The typical idea of the Irish girl is always one that is hot. Well, let's crush some dreams. Only 10% of irish people have red hair. There are no 'gorgeous redheads' in ireland, only pasty freckly gingers. redheads are only cute when they have 20% "something else". You see, it's the mixture that helps. That's why this melting pot that we call America is so awesome. Full of mutts. God bless America for having some of the hottest women in the world (also some of the ugliest women in the world). go big or go home!

The typical American who has pride in their heritage on days like these are the type that will go around screaming on how they have Italian pride but then when you ask if their ancestors are from Sicily or the mainland of Italy, to which they look at you with a confused look asking what Sicily is. The same kind that can't speak a word of the language and have never visited nor ever plan to visit their land of origin.


I think he nagged at snakes... or something.

Then again, it's very easy to forget the real meaning of St. Patrick's day. What was it again? Some dude who really didn't like snakes and yelled at them till they ran away? Something like that, I believe it is. Perhaps he did so with some Irish spring soap. It's the one that cleanses you of all your snakes.. and sins.

Maybe the holiday is to celebrate such good music like the Dropkick Murphy's, Flogging Molly and some river dancing to round out the mix. I once dated a girl who was causins with someone from Flogging Molly. Can't say that connection ever helped me. At least helped me remember them for that whole thing. Talk about Irish pride.


Guinness for me
Guinness for you
you have a guinness
i'll have one too

When talking about Guinness you'll get a mixed reaction. Some people love it. Some people hate it. I don't think anyone can really say for certain unless they have a pint of it near to the source. American Guinness is a bit like watered down to the original. But no matter what you'll get the reaction that it's like eating a loaf of bread. That sort of alternative eating method happens when you put all your eggs into one basket of potatos.

In honor of St. Patty's day, let's have the good ol' Irish lad Conan O'Brien show us a thing or two about how to prepare for the holiday.

While I'm no Martha Stewart, I can try to make a mean Irish meal.

Watch here and I'll show you how to get some Corned Beef done. It's not just a meal for St. Patty's day. Corned beef is also a traditional meal for Easter. So if you haven't had your fill of it in the next few days of leftovers, get ready for it again on Easter.



Gather corned beef brisket, cabbage, chopped carrots, onions, taters and some Guinness.



Dice up the taters, carrots, spices (thyme) and some garlic cloves and toss it into a slow cooker



layer the cabbage in there



lay down that beautiful brisket..



Pour in three bottles of Guinness, add in water to completely cover the brisket



Ah yes, it should look something like this.. very strange and foamy.



let it cook on low for 8-10 hours. I think this is why it's the best meal for the Irish, you can get shit faced, pass out and then get up and drink again in the time span it takes to make this.



After that time you should have it look like this. The smell will be amazing.



Close up... oh yeah.. beautiful, don'tcah think?



take it out and let it cool slightly.



Cut across the grain and enjoy..



Perhaps in the form of a nice sandwich. To add to this whole thing, may I suggest you make a glaze for the brisket.

1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup water
1 cup Dijon Mustard
1/2 cup Bourbon

Heat the brown sugar, water. Add in the bourbon and the Dijon Mustard and simmer. The end result will be a very delicious treat for your corned beef.