A Truly Horror Picture Show

A Truly Horror Picture Show

Tonight Glee returns with what will be a very much talked about episode. Even more talked about than the stupid GQ cover that got a lot of media attention recently, is that Glee will be doing a tribute to something that isn't Britney Spears or Madonna. The show will tackle the tough issues of sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania...



I wonder if Schuester will take them all out to eat at Denny's in true fashion.

So I know what you're thinking is the next logical step for this... Well, if Glee is highlighting it, why the fuck not crank out a remake...

We still have to wait an entire week for Glee‘s much-blogged about Rocky Horror Picture Show episode, and considering the buzz surrounding the Gleeks take on the cult classic, it’s not surprising that there is now some interest in pursuing a feature-length remake. Deadline is reporting that Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy has met with Fox 2000 to discuss an updated version of Jim Sharman’s 1975 Frankenstein romp, which originally starred Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, and Barry Bostwick.

Murphy is known for writing and directing some of Glee‘s flashier, more elaborate episodes (like last season’s "The Power of Madonna" and the recent "Britney/Brittany.") To date, his feature-length directorial credits include Running With Scissors (2006) and this summer’s Eat Pray Love. Both were memoir adaptations, and both received lukewarm response from critics (as well as being targets of my wrath) but Murphy’s musical touch could be the perfect fit for a Rocky Horror reboot.

You know, as if the enduring success of RHPS has Anything to do with the actual movie itself. It's pretty much a given that unless you've seen it at a midnight screening in a theater packed with fellow freaks, you're really losing something in the translation.

Don't give me this bullshit about how "A good film needs to stand on its own merits as a film." Rocky Horror is not a great film. In fact, I doubt there's anyone who enjoys the film by itself outside of the midnight experience. It's a fun film to watch in a group and you'll be singing along with the songs, but it's just not a great film to watch by yourself.



As crisp and clear as the blu-ray is, it doesn't give you that feeling of eating food out of a chick's mouth, humping sex toys, tossing rice and yelling out BITCH every so often. So the idea of remaking this in a more acceptable PG-13 format would miss the whole point of the film.

But what are you going to do? Just say "Welp, it sounds like a shitty idea, but why the hell not?" They're going to have one hell of a time getting this made and don't get me started on replacing Tim Curry. He's pretty much irreplaceable. Maybe casting Eddie Izzard as Frank N. Furter would make a little sense and would make the pill easier to swallow on this whole matter.

I read one really good recommendation as to having John Krasinski play Brad, and well, I'm pretty sure that there's one one person that everyone will agree with on taking the role of Janet.... Damn it!



Yup, You can't go wrong with Eva Amurri. It's literally running in her blood!

Or perhaps the route to go is by getting someone the niche market loves... Joss Whedon, of course. I'm sure he'll have time right after doing The Avengers. Not to mention that two people who already worked for him have some pretty extensive Rocky Horror experience under their belt.



Then you have Giles, played by Anthony Stewart Head who just loves to sing Frankie's songs to just about anyone who is willing to listen to them. Take a look at this video.



Or you could click on this link to see Anthony Stewart Head dressed in drag on stage during VH1's tribute to Rocky Horror. And in that one he lets it all hang out. I mean, the dude REALLY REALLY REALLY Loves to dress in drag and play the role..

But hey, when you're this good and well past the level of some Glee geeks, you're able to take on a role like this without any problems, right?



But getting back to the issue at hand.. It's a 35 year old film where 32 of those years has been spent in constant play at midnight screenings. How do you really go about remaking a film with this much global following and not piss off a few folks?

We'll see after tonight if Glee's take on Rocky Horror generates enough attention to get folks to put on their finest tightest blackest little thing and go to the Nuart or any other small theater that will, per usual, be showing this come Saturday night.

Because they sure as hell wont know the story of Rocky Horror based on the extremely trimmed down version that is in the episode. Just a heads up, studio insight here.. Having Mercedes play Frank n furter just seems like a complete cop out. Though I guess with the Parent Television Council on their ass lately, I guess they have to take it easy and wash it all down.

Oh, and don't think this is by any means a valid method to devirginize yourself, you aren't getting off that easy. You gotta go through the ritual just like anyone else.

Internet - The Movie

Internet - The Movie

In the event that you're not familiar with this specific site, there's a new film out today about the creation of a social... media, I'd like to say, website called facebooked(?) Well, it's the tale of the post dot com bubble busted internet millionaires, and let me tell you, there wasn't many of those.

But any how, this film really made me read into the history of Facebook and wikipedia posted this article which is archived from the Harvard school newspaper. So in a sense, it's pretty cool to see things before they were famous. Seems like this creator, Zuckerberg was just as pompous of an ass when he was broke. You see, I'm trying to figure out how this up and coming director named David Fincher, you may know him from a small indie film called Fight Club, will tackle this comical fact happening..

While Zuckerberg promised that thefacebook.com would boast new features by the end of the week, he said that he did not create the website with the intention of generating revenue.

I guess it's only fitting that the one item that seems to create anti-social behavior, even while openly being for social interaction was created under all this assholery.

I have to admit, I never understood the whole relationship status thing. Yes, it's a great way to tell who's single and who you can attempt to hook up with, but it really does bring a new level of complication to the matter.



I mean, how many people are now relying on the whole "facebook official" bullshit to cement the fact that they are in a relationship. Oh and heaven forbid you don't actually put who you're in a relationship with. Then how will people know who's your S.O. in the event that they accidentally hit on them.

The really big one is when the relationship eventually ends. The moment you change your relationship status to single it's a given that you'll have one or two people give you a thumbs up and like that action. What the fuck?! What does that even mean? What does that even say about what they thought your relationship was like? While I'm sure it's not implied to be mean, it does hint towards the fact that maybe your friends thought your S.O. was a bitch/asshole.

Talk about taking sides and really involving the world in your every move and action. The now ex will see that people thought you two weren't a good couple after all with how many people like that. Talk about awkward.



But then I have to wonder if we're not going to far with this whole facebook and movies thing. Catfish came out just recently and I hated that movie. I mean, talk about boring shit! Not to even factor in that there's already a ton of internet things that made the crossover. Shit my dad says and Tosh.0 really just using the internet as a spawning ground for ideas. It's not like this concept is new, look at the others..

Youtube the movie


Oh wait, that's just a parody of Facebook: The Movie. My bad. Do we need one for Twitter: The movie?

Twitter the movie


Okay, it's pretty clear that the idea is spreading around to just about any and everyone possible. Though you shouldn't be surprised. Facebook is a pretty popular website. Last week when Facebook whent down for a short time the world panicked

For a couple of hours you couldn't tell what your friends where doing, unless you had them linked on your twitter. And even then, they were just talking about how facebook was down and they didn't know what was up. Not even Myspace had that much addiction to it... Well, unless you like being bombarded with really shitty bands trying to get you to listen to them.

What can you say, this social media website has made a lasting impression with society. The trailer for the film alone hammers it home with the opening facebook photo montage. It shows how much impact the site has had on the social lives and interactions of young people. While it had a rather creepy voyeuristic edge to it, that was purely unintentional.



It's undeniable that despite the repeated warnings of privacy and security advocates, people continue to use Facebook as if no one by they, and their immediate circle of freinds will have access to the content. By showing the very personal details, photos and comments that people make on Facebook in the montage, the viewer becomes the voyeur and gains an understanding of just how much trust is placed on the people who run Facebook to not sell off all your personal information that is really worth a lot in today's market.

It was a pretty smart move on the trailers behalf to put that in there. It got us to think that we have an invested interest in seeing this story about young, petty and greedy creators of this site we all go on can relate to us in a more human way. It shows us that these people are very human, very flawed folks that have complete access to your life, and they seem completely uninterested in being ethical even to people they're friends with.

Really makes you think.

To be honest, I really didn't believe that this film could be anything more than total shit when I first heard about it being made. But the trailer made me want to go see it.. even if there was already a movie made about the entire internet...

See. Now that was funny.

And The Oscar Nomination Goes To....

And The Oscar Nomination Goes To....

So there I was awake at the butt crack of dawn getting ready for work and the Oscar nominations pop up. Yup yup. Not only that but Anne Hathaway is announcing them. I have to admit I have a bit of a crush on her. I mean, who wouldn't? So anyway, waking up to that sight wasn't half bad, if I do say so myself.



Moving on now, the Oscar nominations are really something to talk about.. sure, they're not as big as the actual Oscar telecast or anything, but it's a lot more interesting than hearing about the Grammy's and let's face it, the golden globes are just the mini version of it. So what are they? If you haven't found them in the many other media outlets that are going to be beating this into the ground, here you go along with my predictions and thoughts.


Best Picture
Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

Wow, there's some really interesting surprises mixed in there. That's a pretty decent list, nothing overtly out of place other than The Blind Side. Which I'm not sure how the fuck it got in there. Yeah, give Sandra a best actress nod, if you want. But the Blind Side isn't anything that isn't done weekly on Friday Night Lights weekly, only done a lot better.

Also it's pretty cool to see District 9 get some love. Peter Jackson must be thrilled since he got some luke warm reaction to Lovely Bones and he really supported Neil Blompkamp in making that film when everyone gave up on it. Not to mention that it's a first-time director getting a Best Picture nomination at the Oscars. That's really awesome. As awesome as seeing Sci-fi come back to the Oscars.

But this one is going to The Hurt Locker. You just have to remember the political landscape of the Oscar voters and let's face it, it's a really interesting and compelling film.



Actress, Supporting
Penelope Cruz, Nine
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Mo’Nique, Precious

This one is pretty simple. Precious is one of those movies that has Oscar written all over it. Urban struggle

Actor, Supporting
Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

I really didn't find this one compelling. It'll got to Christoph just for the sake that he's the best option there.



Actress
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabby Sidibe, Precious
Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia

This one is tough. I thought Meryl Streep was amazing as Julia Child. But it could go to Gabby Sidibe cause really, Precious was pretty intense and the general idea that the Blind Side had Sandra Bullock acting... well, like an actress, could give it to her.

Actor
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, An Education
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker

Jeff Bridges could win it next year for Tron 2.0, George Clooney was amazing in Up in the Air and it'll be a real tragedy. He deserves it like no other. Though I have to say I'm really happy for Colin Firth getting a nomination for such a great role. Not to sound a little light in the loafers, but I always do see him as Mr. Darcy, so it's nice to see such a challenging different performance from him instead of the typical role as the modern perfect gentleman.



Directing
James Cameron, Avatar
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
Lee Daniels, Precious
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air

It could also go to Quentin Taratino because he deserves it. Maybe not for IB, but he does. Kathryn getting my vote is just to rub it in Cameron's face as it's his ex-wife.

Original Screenplay
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
The Messenger
A Serious Man
Up

I'm giving it to A Serious Man cause I liked it.



Adapted Screenplay
District 9
An Education
In the Loop
Precious
Up in the Air

Again, Precious is going to get it because it's what Oscar does.

Foreign Film
Ajami (Israel)
Secreto Ojos (Argentina)
The Milk of Sorrow (Peru)
Un Prophete (France)
The White Ribbon (Germany)

Like you care why I choose this one. You probably haven't even heard of any of these films.


And I'm reminded of my girlfriend when I see this image.

Animated Film
Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Princess and the Frog
Secret of Kells
Up

While I know it won't win, it's so nice to see the Academy ignore the "Nope, Animation has it's own category" rule for once. Now if only they'd actually allow a comedy category sometime in the near future. I really want Up to win Best Score just because the movie's most emotional scenes wouldn't have been half as effective without it.

So there you have it. That's the Oscars in a nut shell.. one day later than it was announced. Yay me for my time delay in getting you valued information! Now you know my picks and you can prove that I know shit about how the folks in the academy vote for anything when the results come out in March.

Enjoy your hump day..

It's A Wonderful Life Should Die Hard With A Vengeance

It's A Wonderful Life Should Die Hard With A Vengeance

I'm going to admit it, I haven't sat through It's A Wonderful Life from start to end. I just can't. It's way too fucking boring and the message is just hammered in way too much for me to ever enjoy it in the slightest. Why we have decided that It's A Wonderful Life is the go to movie when it comes to Christmas, I do not know. Fuck the religion-supporting "it's a wonderful life", I want there to be a version that replaces Christmas with Holidays to really piss off the religious type. For my money that award of Christmas movie goes to Die Hard

Stay with me here. Die Hard is the ultimate in Christmas movies as it has it all. Let me just set the stage with the trailer alone;



Yes, it may lose some points for having a cop who is willing, if not eager to kill people as a hero. On the other hand it has RUN DMC's "Christmas in Hollis" as well as having Alan Rickman in it as the bad guy, I think it's not only the best Christmas movie, it's the best movie ever.

I may lose some credibility because I work next to the building featured in the film daily and I have connections with the production company that released the film, but all those things get null and voided once you see the film and realize how truly festive it really is. Not only that, how truly revolutionary it really is.



Yes, Die Hard is a pretty progressive. Don't believe me? If you forget the sequels and think of these little facts about the movie:

• the "terrorists" are white, and the cause of their terrorism isn't any cause for oppressed peoples - that's a front they admit to not giving a shit about. they're capitalists (thieves)
  
• the married woman is fine so long as nobody realizes she's married. it's when they discover she's married that she has real problems. also, the hero calls himself an asshole for forcing her to admit her marital status
  
• the hero gets along completely with all the brown people in the movie (except the token black techno-nerd - whom he doesn't kill - and the one unnamed yellow terrorist) and very few of the white people, all of whom he argues with at at least one point
  
• the more money a character has, the more likely he or she is to be dead or humiliated by the end of the movie
  
• the msm and corporate tools are not on the sides of the heroes and make their jobs harder
  
• the higher the rank of any law enforcer, the less likely he is to be a hero
  
• the hero would've been out of trouble within minutes if he weren't in a monstrous tower built as a monument to capitalism and greed
  
• the hero is a catholic who prays to god several times and never gets his wish unless he takes matters in his own hands

Yeah. how about you deal with that shit! Home alone may come to mind, but don't let that cute little kid fool you. Look what he grew up to be. And don't try to talk to me about Scrooged. It may be a great holiday film but Bill Murray in Scrooegd is JEW HOLLYWOOD and that's not very progressive at all.

The only thing that comes close to it is Gremlins which does a good job at warning us about the evils of capitalism. It's also a pretty good Christmas story true to the holiday as it's about annoying little snots ruining everyone else's good time with their mischief.

Tons of people die in Gremlins and it is pretty awesome considering it is a children's film. Also, Phoebe Cate's dad died in the chimney. Driving a snowplow into Futterman's house, abusing the bar Phoebe Cates worked, Cannon balling into the pool, burning people alive while watching snow white and sending that old crone on the rascal into the stratosphere. That is amazing for a Holiday film.



Gremlins 2 deserves its own post and a ton of credit for how anti-capitalist it is. Calmp Towers is basically everything that was wrong with the 80's all in one big, dumb building. I also had Tony Randall singing New York, New York. As much as I hate New York, I still give it props for that sort of thing.

Bad Santa should also have some mention as an awesome Holiday movie because it's about a complete loser who bucks the system and still gets ahead. That and it's pretty god damn funny. But if there's one thing that you need to do before the Holiday season is over, it's watch Die Hard

(500) Days Of Summer

(500) Days Of Summer

As summer is coming to a winding halt as we're now in August, perhaps it's time to talk about one of the best movies of not only this summer season, but of the year. (500) Days of Summer.

Perhaps I should come out and say that I'm on the company buck most times, but even though I'm a company man and this film is being released by Fox Searchlight, I have nothing to gain by promoting it and my interest to write this is simply because it's a great movie. But on a side note, Fox Searchlight has yet to give me a bad movie. They've got a great record and are the new Miramax. Check out the trailer by pressing play:



This film struck a chord with me. I mean, who won't it strike a chord with. Rest assured that if you've ever been "in love", you'll relate to one or both characters in this film. I suppose in my case it doesn't help that a lot of the places in the film are actual spots where I've taken the person I care for, the idea of the futility of the relationship really does come across.

The park bench that Tom sits at is right above Angel's Flight near the grand central market in Downtown. I love that location and the idea that I've passed it by to go up and play scrabble right above it to check out the same view of the city mixed in with the those oh so lovely parking structures just really had me relating to the character even more.



The Karaoke takes place at Red Wood. It's a Pirate themed bar. This is a bar where I've taken my Gal on one of our first dates. I still recall that night. Got a little token of that always in my mind. So yeah, this film, a film that makes L.A. one of it's major focuses, while it may strike those chords to everyone who had some emotional attachment to someone who may not have given them the same in return, the fact that it goes beyond that and relates on a specific note like that for me, maybe this film a bit more personal.

The film isn't a Romantic comedy. I'll be hesitant to call it that. It's an anti-romantic reality. Yes, it has some laughs here and there. While the film centers around Gordon-Levitt and his hopelessly in love emotions with a woman who doesn't believe in love, there's nothing in here that can be labeled a romantic comedy. It's quirky, funny and realistically portraying love from a guy's point of view that isn't often viewed from.



But guy or girl, the idea is that the film takes the viewpoint from the person who got side swiped by the news of a break up. It's the one who didn't see the writing on the wall till it was too late. The film has the same feeling that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind had. I would say that the film feels like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind tripped over Garden State and rolled down a hill. Don't worry, only the best parts of both films are showing by the time it got to the bottom of the hill.

Eternal Sunshine worked because it was about the futility of that type of relationship. You better enjoy the good times while they last. Eventually you'll be going through the cycles that the couple went through where you're repeating the same mistakes... which in reality aren't mistakes. They're just the two of you growing apart.



In both films you have the futility of expecting it to last forever and learning to enjoy the good times while they do last, then let go when it's time to move on. These messages will come out depending on how cynical you are, I suppose. But in either case you should take away the fact that the two of you have changed over time because of each other. Lessons learned about yourself because of this relationship.

That's the glass half full outlook on this. The relationship may be over, and unlike a typical romantic comedy, it's not going to be a stereotypical happy ending, you can still enjoy the time spent together. Remembering the good times as well as the bad. The film plays like a 20-something Annie Hall. The degeneration of a relationship and how we grow as a result of it. So there you go. Annie Hall and Eternal Sunshine with a slight twist of Garden State. Yup, it truly is an indie film.



The film had a lot of moments that showed both the sweet side and the sour side of a relationship. Yet ordered it so that it all seemed real without ever losing the humor. You get to see, in jumping cuts, how somethings that were once cute end up being annoying and on someone's nerve.

I like how the reasons for the break up aren't ever really explored. Nor are the initial reasons or explanation on how they got together/Tom won her heart. It just leaves it at Summer gets tired of Tom... or just tired of the relationship with Tom. It's not that there's any one reason. No one cheats on the other and there isn't some magical force preventing this love that is meant to be. In actuality, the feelings between the two are just that, feelings. And in life feelings are very often fleeting.



While she was into him and liked him, she was never on the same page as him in terms of what they wanted out of the relationship. Through the relationship she did change in her own way and did learn that there was actually love out there. In the beginning of the time line, the year and a half earlier, she didn't believe in anything remotely in love. And while it didn't work out between Tom and Summer, she did open herself up to the possibility of feeling it when it approached.

I got to talk to the first time film director/long time music video director and he admitted that every scene in this film minus two of them actually happened to him. And on a side note, he sent the script to the real life Summer to read, and the first thing she said was that she found herself relating so much to Tom while reading it.Go figure.



On to Tom, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, is possibly one of the best young actors out there. After seeing his powerhouse performances in Mysterious Skin and Lookout, I'll watch anything he chooses to do. Wait a second, he's going to be Cobra Commander in the upcoming G.I. Joe flick. Can I take that statement back? He's got to have some balls to go from what has to be one of the best films of the year to what will be a fucking mess of a two hour toy commercial.

Then you have Zooey Deschanel who has an age-appropriate love interest?! Now I've seen it all. Though as cute as she is and as beautiful her eyes are, though from what I learned from THE HAPPENING is that even those beautiful eyes and quirky acting can save a bad movie. But what she makes up in the ability to save a bad movie, a skill that is not needed here, she does a wonderful job in bringing her voice. You see, Zooey has one hell of an amazing voice box as one half of the band SHE & HIM.



Then we get to the final character of the film. Los Angeles. You might not recognize it at first. I know it's easy to mistake for New York. This is why I've worked a lot on film productions in Downtown that were suppose to be set in New York. Downtown can fool you that way. I didn't realize that this film was going to be a film so in love with downtown Los Angeles. So that was a very nice surprise.

Like I said before, the Bench is a spot I've been to plenty of times before. I've walked down that pathway at the courthouse like he does. Though I don't recall ever dancing to Hall and Oates. Usually it's during Jury Duty. I have stood and admired a lot of the architecture, such as the Bradbury Building or the Dorothy Chandler. The love for LA was really the biggest thing that sealed the movie for me. It was nice to see downtown in a film that wasn't an action or cop movie.



My recommendation is to go see this film... Now. Even if it's not in wide release when you read this. Go find the local art house near you and watch this film. It's as good as Eternal Sunshine as well as realistic that it will touch on a nerve that you'll relate to the character. One of, if not THE best film of the year.

Iron Man: Enter Black Widow

Iron Man: Enter Black Widow

Iron Man 2 is currently wrapping up filming right now and this weeks Entertainment Weekly gives us a little insight. Of course, if you've been driving around anywhere in L.A, you'd more than likely have already seen some glimpse of this movie being filmed. If you were driving by the 405 the other week and saw a large green screen on the dam, then you were seeing them filming Iron Man.



Looks like it'll be at least grand in scale in terms of movies. I mean, I loved Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. was perfect for the role of Tony Stark. Recovering alcoholic and all! After that film, Jon Favreau could do no wrong. As you can see from the latest Entertainment Weekly, they seem to have a good footing on what they're doing for the sequel.

When Marvel Studios first announced the sequel, no one was sure what the movie would be about. Downey, director Jon Favreau, screenwriter Justin Theroux, and the rest of the creative team struck upon the idea of introducing two very different foes for Stark. On one side is Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell), a fast-talking weapons manufacturer who fancies himself the next Tony Stark; on the other, Vanko, who, while incarcerated in a Russian prison, creates his own battle-suit, which shoots devastating, whip-like beams. Hammer and Whiplash join forces to take down Downey’s character, Tony Stark. Rourke, for his part, wanted to instill some lightness into the role of the heavy. "I told Favreau, 'I don't want to just play him as a one-dimensional p----,'" he says. "He let me have a cockatoo, who I talk to and get drunk with while I’m making my suit."

Just as the deals were being hammered out, Terrence Howard -- who had played Stark’s best friend -- fell out of the sequel in a public salary dispute. The role was re-cast, with Don Cheadle stepping in. "We had to make some tough deals," says Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige. "When they got public, you go, 'That sucks. Okay, you want a peek behind the curtain? Here you are!'" Says Cheadle, "Terrence and I couldn’t be more different. We address it head-on in the movie in one exchange. We're not trying to fool people." (Cheadle admits he didn’t know much about Marvel’s superhero before the first movie came out: "I always thought Iron Man was a robot.")

But then, we get to the real meat and potatoes of the article. The point where my interest gets peaked! When they mention Scarlett Johansson. Holy hell, has it been since Ghost World that I had a crush on you? My, that's been a long time since that little indie comic film was released. Who would have known that the world would jump all over your.. um.. ok, I'll just say it.. Boooooooooobs. Seems like everyone is all up on her grill. Let's see what EW has to say about her role

Adding more flesh and blood to the new movie, Scarlett Johansson joined the cast as Stark’s mysterious new assistant, Natasha, who has an alter ego of her own, Black Widow. That introduction inevitably sparks romantic tension between Stark and former assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), who’s been promoted to CEO of Stark Industries. "The men want it to be, like, 'Ooh, the girls are fighting over Tony,' but it's not as standard as that," says Paltrow. "There's a weird male catfight fantasy. Downey agrees. He believes what differentiates the franchise from other superhero series can be summarized as follows: "We're horny. Not, like, can't-bring-your-kids horny, but just…horny."

The question remains whether Iron Man 2 will soar like the first film or show signs of rust when it hits theaters. "People are going to be more critical," says Downey. "That’s their prerogative….In a way, there's no way to win, except to win. Big."

For more on Iron Man, as well as a first look at the hottest movies and TV shows heading to Comic-Con, pick up the new issue of Entertainment Weekly on stands Friday July 17.

As a comic nerd... and most of all, a guy who has a weakness for redheads.. and already had a weakness for Scarlett Johansson, I'm going to be weak at the knees here. Black Widow is one of those bad girls who just kicks ass and doesn't take names. Besides that, she's the love interest to Bucky Barnes, the new Captain America. A character that I can relate to given my years as a teenage fighting in World War II.



So who is this comic character? She's some russian spy who seems to always be triple and quadriple crossing someone or other. A person that really can't be trusted but is always one that you want near you because of her looks. Yes, it's superficial like that... Not to mention she can back it up when needs be. Though I suppose the most cheese cake to really come close to Scarlett in terms of looking exactly like Black Widow is from artist Frank Cho. But that's cause he loves a little meat on the bones of his drawings.



See, at first I was a little worried about Scarlett as Black Widow. Not because of her acting or anything. I typically don't think blondes are all that much special. But then you give her red hair? Jesus man, why don't you just give me a heart attack or something. Clearly some force of nature is trying to kill me! Curse you film industry! Wait, that's where I work. never mind that cursing. It's allllll good.



And speaking of the real life world of Scarlett, it's a little strange to think that Black Widow is with Hal Jordan. Oh how the worlds of marvel and dc have been blurred. Wait, did that make any sense to you non-comic nerds? You see, Ryan Reynolds is going to be Hal Jordan, one of my favorite characters in comics today. He's Green Lantern..



And as to why I wrote about Iron Man instead of the news that Ryan Reynolds getting the role of Hal Jordan? Well, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about Ryan getting the role of Hal. He's already Deadpool and Hannibal King. Does he need to be another comic book character? I can't hate the role because behind all his smart ass remarks, he does have the acting chops to handle it a bit more seriously. If you doubt me on that, go rent Adventureland. Not only is it a great movie but it also shows he can take the more serious tone while still being a cocky asshole.

Hollywood is One Big Stooge

Hollywood is One Big Stooge

I caught wind about this train wreck of a project some months back that they were actually going to try to do a Three Stooges film. Not as a biopic but as a comedy.

MGM and the Farrelly brothers are closing in on their cast for "The Three Stooges."

Studio has set Sean Penn to play Larry, and negotiations are underway with Jim Carrey to play Curly, with the actor already making plans to gain 40 pounds to approximate the physical dimensions of Jerome "Curly" Howard.

The studio is zeroing in on Benicio Del Toro to play Moe.

The film is not a biopic, but rather a comedy built around the antics of the three characters that Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Howard played in the Columbia Pictures shorts.

The quest by the Peter and Bobby Farrelly to harness the project spans more than a decade and three studios. They first tried at Columbia, again at Warner Bros., and finally at MGM, where Worldwide Motion Picture Group chairman Mary Parent championed the cause and bought the WB-owned scripts and made a deal with Stooges rights holders C3.

Production will begin in early fall for a release sometime in 2010. The Farrellys, who wrote the script, are producing with their Conundrum partner Bradley Thomas, and Charlie Wessler.

C3 Entertainment principals Earl and Robert Benjamin will be executive producers.

Project will get underway after Penn completes the Asger Leth-directed Universal/Imagine Entertainment drama "Cartel." He hasn't done a comedy since the 1989 laffer "We're No Angels."

The Farrellys have long had their eyes on Del Toro to play Moe. Del Toro, who's coming off "Che," showed comic chops in the Guy Ritchie-directed "Snatch."

The surprise is the emergence of Carrey to play Curly. Howard established the character as a seminal physical comedian, from the first time he appeared in the first Stooges short in 1934 until he suffered a stroke on the set in 1946.

Yes, that's right. You read it correctly. And for those who don't actually read the news piece I post, Sean Penn is pinned to play Larry, Benecio Del Toro would play Moe and Jim Carrey would play Curly. What the hell?



I did not expect to see Che Guevara, Andy Kaufman, and Harvey Milk end up playing the Three Stooges. Then again, I've seen Gandhi piss into a bucket and have it used as a weapon so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.



Have the Farrelly Brothers had a good movie since Something About Mary? I love the Farrellys but how on earth did they get the clout to get this cast of Oscar winners and nominees to appear as the headlining trio in a pretty silly premised slapstick comedy? Their last projects have all pretty much been duds. This seems like a really odd choice.



I also don't understand going the pure comedy route rather than biopic. Frankly the physical antics of the stooges are pretty tired to me at this point. I feel like comedy has just evolved beyond eye-poking and pies to the face as the height of hilarity. I would've thought introducing the biographic element would allow a lot more depth into the story while still letting the filmmakers show the funny side of the actors.



A bit of positive news hit about this recently. It seems that Sean Penn is out of this.

LOS ANGELES – Sean Penn will not be one of "The Three Stooges" or join "Cartel."

A spokeswoman for the Oscar winner said he is dropping out of the films. Penn spokeswoman Mara Buxbaum did not specify a reason, but said if the start dates on the productions were to be postponed, Penn would remain involved.

Penn was slated to star as Larry in "Three Stooges" and as a man protecting his son in "Cartel."

So that's good, though like a hydra, when one head is removed, two more will take its place. Who knows what sort of worse situation we will get than spicoli being a stooge. Maybe Penn was the lesser of two evils in all this. And maybe the project will never get off the ground. One can hope.

Watching A Movie Backwards

Watching A Movie Backwards

When I worked at the now bankrupt Blockbuster, there was an old saying "Be Kind, Rewind" In many sense I took this motto to heart a little too much and once rewound a whole movie. The results of which showed me that you can get an entirely different meaning from a movie if only viewed in a rewind motion.

One of my favorite Dave Atell comedy bits was when he said: "I like watching 'Girls Gone Wild' backwards so it changes into 'Girls Who've Learned Their Lesson'. "Hey! I don't need to be a drunken skank!" In that same respect it's just a matter of seeing a story entirely different.

The ending becomes the beginning and the beginning, well, it doesn't make much sense all the time. It does lead to interesting results. So let me take you down the road on how different some films would be if they were just viewed in reverse.

JAWS: If you watch it backwards, its a movie about a shark that was put together by a shot canister that starts throwing up people until they have to open a beach.

Star Wars: Darth Vader travels the galaxy curing men of their asthma.

Memento: It's about a guy who remembers things.


A film in normal motion

Requiem for a Dream: is an uplifting story about four people who overcome their drug addictions and whose lives spiral into control.

Reservoir dogs: A bunch of guys dressed in suits come back from the dead, wait in a warehouse for a long time, drop a bunch of diamonds off at a jewellers and then go have breakfast at a diner where they talk about Madonna's dick.

Fight Club: The space monkeys become a community service clan and clean up a lot of vandalism.


In this version you DO talk about fight club

Planet of the Apes: A guy hangs with some apes for a while, then leaves earth and comes back.

The Matrix: A bunch of crazy shit happens, and then Neo wakes up. Woah, what a dream.

Office Space: Peter donates a lot of money to Initech. In response, they hire his friends Samir and Michael.


Nice men fixing office supplies

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest: The Chief breaks into the institution and brings McMurphy to life with his magic pillow. McMurphy helps end the bad attitudes/rebellion against Nurse Ratchet, before being declared sane, and sent to a work farm.

Kill Bill: Uma Thurman resurrects a bunch of people before lapsing into a coma and wakes up in a wedding dress.

Evil Dead 2: An insane man gradually regains his sanity over the space of a night.


Look at the evil dead helping her out of the grave

Cloverfield: The US Army firebombs New York. A giant monster feels obligated to help put it back together. The protagonists have a party, and go to the fair.

Night of the Living Dead: It's a movie about dead people who come back to life.

The Wizard of Oz: Dorothy, a young girl from Kansas, uses some magical shoes to travel to another world. Suddenly, some water spilled on the ground rises up into the form of a wicked witch. Dorothy is scared and flees east to a city made entirely out of emerald, where she meets a wizard who tells her that she cannot return home until the wicked witch is dead. She also meets some traveling companions; the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodsman, and the Cowardly Lion. She sets off east as there is also a wicked witch in that direction. Along the way, the Cowardly Lion's nerves break down and he runs away. The Tin Woodsman rusts and Dorothy leaves him in a forest. The Scarecrow begins to annoy Dorothy with his unceasing chatter and she sticks him on a pole for birds to peck at. Finally, with only her faithful dog Toto left by her side, Dorothy finds the wicked witch, but the witch is already dead; a house has fallen on her. With the witch having been killed, Dorothy can now return home; she enters the house and a magical tornado transports her and Toto back to Kansas.


Just don't play Darkside of the Moon backwards while watching it. It's a mind trip

The Royal Tenenbaums: Luke Wilson, after receiving an infusion of magical blood through his wrists miraculously grows a ton of a hair and revitalizes his beard but unfortunately is too late to revitalize his career.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: a charming story about the only guy in the world who experiences time correctly, and eventually turns into a dwarf

The Ring: Little girl resurrects people from gruesome deaths before crawling backwards into their TVs.


Backwards it's God putting faces on a bunch of Nazis.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: An American archeologist, his girlfriend and their Asian kid take a lot of Indian kids to an underground temple to put them to work as slaves who are supposed to cover up gems in the ground. After meeting a very extravagant surgeon who's quite good at heart transplants, they jump up into an airplane in a raft. They then go to Shanghai and break up.

Saving Private Ryan: A unit of soldiers that has just dropped of a friendly soldier behind enemy lines travels hundreds of miles through occupied countryside to be able to retreat back to England.

Inland Empire: I still have no fucking idea what's going on.



The Princess Bride: A young boy is sick, but he is happy because his grandfather is coming to read him a book. However, as the story goes on, the boy gets less and less interested. At the end, the grandfather decides to be a dick and pinches the boy's cheek even though he knows the boy hates this. The boy can't wait for the grandfather to leave. He decides that he hates books and quickly goes back to playing video games.

Wall-e: A dangerously malfunctioning robot sabotages a spaceship's attempt to return to Earth, before traveling back to undo the decontamination efforts. What a dick.

The Big Lebowski: The Dude and Walter suck some ashes out of the ocean with a magic coffee can. Later on, they meet Donny who was asleep in a parking lot. Together, the three of them help some Germans up who had fallen down in front of a burning car. They celebrate by swinging a sword around! The Dude kicks a woman out of his apartment after having sex, and our three heroes spend a lot of time working at the local bowling alley helping set up pins and return bowling balls to their proper places.

Walter and The Dude leave a suburban home after Walter repairs a dented car with a baseball bat. The Dude gives his old dirty car away to the impound lot, only to get it back later finding it cleaned and repaired! He meets the woman from earlier, but strangely dosen't remember her. She has a job removing paint from large rolls of canvas.

The Dude and Walter narrowly avoid a car crash and manage to catch a bag that was thrown into their car window! The bag mysteriously contains Walter's underwear. At home, The Dude notices he suddenly has a rug he has never seen before and he decides has had enough of his new rug, and gives it to a wealthy man in a mansion. He replaces it with an older rug.

Later on while The Dude is relaxing at home, some helpful gentleman appear and help The Dude by removing some urine from his old rug with some sort of pants vacuum.

After some more helpful work down at the bowling alley, The Dude decides to erase a check and return some milk to the local supermarket.


That's just, like, your opinion, man.

And with that, I'm not sure what else can be said. Certainly not going to top the dude so I'll leave it at that. Ah, the wonders of the rewind button.

It's No Wonder, Woman!

It's No Wonder, Woman!

It's Saturday night and what would any self respecting nerd be doing other than watching some made for Sci-fi movie of the week, right? Not this night, my lack of friend! Tonight it's time to get your nerd on in the best way possible, COMIC BOOKS! Well, Comic book films.

DC comics has really been on top of their game lately with their animated features and they decided to release another one that takes torch and runs with it. Just recently they released a new Wonder Woman animated film onto DVD and Bluray.


What's that ol' Jessica Rabbit quote about being drawn that way?

If there ever was anything to show that cartoons are not only just for kids, it's this film. Within the first few minutes of the film you see a head being removed from its body in a tasteful manner that you could show your child... be it in a PG-13 manner. This leads the door to be wide open to all sorts of story telling that doesn't pander to the kids in the audience and adults can follow along.

This may be a straight to DVD but don't let that fool you. It has some great names doing voices here. Keri Russel brings Wonder Woman to life, Virginia Madsen plays her mother, Queen Hippolyta; Rosario Dawson is Wonder Woman's Amazon rival Artemis and Alfred Molina is Ares, the god of war. Which means he's been an Octopus like villain and a god. What are the odds. How could I forget the best voice in the cast, Nathan Fillion plays Steve Trevor. And may I say that he plays him very well.


Hal Jordan... Ooooh yeah.

When New Frontier came out on DVD I loved it. Not only did it translate a great Darwyn Cooke book, but David Boreanaz was the voice of Hal Jordan. I love me some Green Lantern. Superman can do anything but he'll always be an alien. Batman is awesome in every way, but he's no Hal Jordan.To have a guy I actually worked with and riffed on a set with voicing Hal Jordan... not only that but voicing him really good. That was a neat little piece of my nerd lyfe, yo! It also continues the line of Whedonverse persons taking part of the DC universe cartoons since Captain Mal is playing another Captain in this movie. What is it with Superheroes and fighter pilots?

Nathan Fillion in this role is perfect. Then again, he just plays himself through it. So it's nice to see captain tight-pants jump into the air again and have everything in the 'verse fall into place again. The story does feature some adult situation related humor in the mix and Fillion's delivery is spot on in how you would expect to hear it making it extremely comical in every possible. way. So those who grew up in the 70's on the show can also enjoy it with their little ones.


Ah, my childhood returns

Seeing Wonder Woman on the boob tube in animated form makes me think about her in live action again. Gee, it sure would be nice if Warner Brothers got off its ass and got a live action Wonder Woman production finally off the ground and rolling. They have all these franchise pictures under the same roof and can easily do a team up series and yet do nothing with it other than another Batman or Superman film.

Joss Whedon was attached on the project for a long time till he got shit canned. During that time there was a lot of rumors going around on who he would have cast as Buff... I mean wonder Woman. Being in the industry that I'm in it was funny to get my issue of Wizard, which is by all regards the worst nerd magazine possible, and see that it had wild speculations on who would be Wonder Woman. Being that I was able to cross paths with him I showed him the magazine and had a good laugh with about it with him. Ah, good times.


"Uh.... No. (But you're all very nice.) -Joss Whedon"

It's just a matter of time now before we get a good live action Wonder Woman film. It can be done. Linda Carter made an amazing Diana but it seems that she's more than willing and able to pass the torch on to whoever is next in wearing that outfit and bullet deflecting bracelets. As it seems she's more than happy to give that blessing since Linda Carter Approves of Dushku as Wonder Woman.

LYNDA CARTER has officially passed the WONDER WOMAN baton to actress ELIZA DUSHKU, insisting she'd make a great comic book heroine.

Carter, who played the iconic character on TV in the 1970s, insists the world needs a new Wonder Woman - and if reports suggesting director Joss Whedon is set to launch

a new franchise with Dushku are correct, the original star would be thrilled.

She tells WENN, "I've always liked Joss, and Eliza would make a great Wonder Woman." Carter has even offered her services to help groom the next Wonder Woman.

She adds, "People worry about, 'I really helped with this movie and I didn't get paid,' which I could care less about. People don't usually contact the original people to find things out because they're afraid of being sued claiming it was their idea. I hope if they make the movie it makes a bajillion (millions) dollars, which means they'll continue to make them."

While I wasn't alive when it first came out, Television of the day was constantly reairing itself and I recall seeing a lot of Linda Carter growing up. Hell, I own the DVDs. They were all sorts of cheesy. While not as campy as the Batman show, it was still funny to see her do the twirl to change costumes. And what a costume it was.

I'm not going to say I liked Wonder Woman simply because of a very revealing costume with all the right support, but it was easy on the eyes. Let me get this one thing out in the open. I don't like Wonder Woman because she's wearing next to nothing and has cleavage hanging out. That and a rope that hints on a little subtle S&M thing going on. No, that's not the only reason.


Like them... um... eyes. Yeah

I found Wonder Woman attractive more so because of her eyes. I think that's where the seeds were planted for my thing for eyes. You get someone who has Wonder Woman like eyes.. oh man, I'll melt... or just stare into them for a really long time in a creepy way... Yeah. I'm sure I don't mean to stare that close but I can't help it when I see really nice eyes.

Oh yes, and that costume.. can't forget to mention the costume. again.

So Linda gives the blessings to have Dollhouse actress and Buffy's Faith a chance? I guess she did do all that redemption stuff in Angel. But does she have the look to carry the Amazon Princess title? You tell me:

Her as Wonder Woman? I guess...

I'd say it's a good start. But then there's that jaded part of me already. Even though Wonder Woman hasn't graced the television screens besides TV Land for a couple of decades, we're still seeing the costume on the boob tube. While Eliza gets the blessing of Linda Carter, I think we've already seen the better replacement on Bones. Oddly enough, this Fox show has a Joss Whedon/DC Comics connection in it already. As mentioned earlier that Green Lantern was voiced by David Boreanaz, he was also Angel on... you guessed it, Angel.

But it's not him we're looking at for the outfit. That'll be strange and alarming. No, we're looking at Emily Deschanel, and really, did you need an excuse to? In the Halloween episode of the series she comes out sporting the Wonder Woman gear and she wears it well.


Her as Wonder Woman? YES PLEASE!

When asked about the costume and the episode on what it was like doing dramatic scenes while standing in a Wonder Woman costume she just said "You kind of forgets it. You kind of forget it after awhile, so it's not that weird. I'm used to being on sets with costume - this is just a different costume, you know? It's easy to forget what you look like but then you pass a mirror and you catch yourself. You shock yourself."

Oh what a trooper. She took one for the team on that one. Besides, have you've seen Eliza act? While her stint on Buffy was ok being the wild card Faith, she doesn't have that much range in acting. Emily has some range. Sure, it's rooted in being an emotionless robotic anthropologist. But she can act.Oh yeah, she has really nice eyes as well.




So while I sit here and expect to see Wonder Woman again on a Saturday night, I can only recommend it so much before I insist that you view it. It's a great movie and while it does have a lot of adult humor in it, along with some serious fits of violence and zombie action, it's still a good story that should be fun for young and old.

Not to mention that Wonder Woman is the ultimate sign of feminism. Yup, that's right. A woman stuck on an island full of women and the first chance she has on the mainland, she's already complaining about the male gaze. Don't listen to me go on about how that outfit as well as Batgirl's costume is just something that... well... Ok, I said enough...



I'll just enjoy my Saturday night, thank you kindly! This movie, Emily's WW costume and Linda Carter get a thumbs up here. Eliza... well, we'll give her another couple of episodes of Dollhouse to make up our mind...

Who Watched The Watchmen

Who Watched The Watchmen?

Now that you watched the movie, enjoyed the Nite Owl Coffee! and get the joke that I've been beating into the ground about who watches the watchmen as well as doing things 35 minutes ago, we can move on to more serious humor. And by serious I mean jokes you'll more than likely get now that you've seen it.



Come Monday you'll see a slew of papers use the tag line "Who Watches The Watchmen" in all the many forms to report the box office numbers. Just remember who beat it into the ground first, folks.

Besides the amount of attention this book of an old era has gotten there's a lot more merchandise tie-in's to Watchmen to come. So you can show off to all your friends how much of a comic book nerd you are. Before all the fun and games, I'm sure Alan Moore would like to say something to you


Alan Moore:

I'm very disappointed in all of you for watching this filth. How dare they bend over and rape my masterpiece in such a fashion. I feel like Silk Spectre. I am so disappointed in you. You should all go out and read Lost Girls... because, seriously, that's like.. no wait, don't do that. It'll ruin your childhood. Go and read League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It's nothing like the film and a shit ton better. Don't make me strike you down with my snake god! He's almighty and powerful!

Don't worry. Alan Moore may be a little upset with you but he'll calm down with a nice book.


Little Lulu always calms him down


The man does make a good point though. It seems like Watchmen is all over the place. It was hard to drive anywhere in L.A. without getting flooded with the marketing of it. Does the world need comic book coffee? More than likely not. At least it stays true to the source material. That is it looks like cheesy 80's stuff.




Then you have the viral material for this. Check out this old MTV parody

Ah yes.. the memories of the 80's when MTV stopped showing videos.

Then there's the idea that comic books aren't just for kids. I suppose every comic nerd has been spearheading this idea for a long time now in order for folks to shut up about us reading "Real books".

There's a scene where the Comedian tries to rape Silk Spectre. It fails but it's later hammered home that the two of them worked it out and out of that produced a love child of our favorite New silk spectre. Oh yeah, super hero movies. I hope everyone takes their kids to this movie.

EVERYONE.

Nothing like trying to explain to little billy why that Blue Man group member is walking around with his huge blue penis waving around.


Just cause Sackboy is for kids doesn't mean Watchmen is...

And what better way to prove that this ISN'T for kids than to have a manga/anime out for it. Yes, that's right. The fine folks in Japan have been so kind as to put Watchmen into a Manga series. I suppose it makes sense to keep the Octapus in that version of it.



But like everything they touch, they have to make it cute. Even if it's being raped by some huge penis monster, it doesnt' matter as long as it's cute and has a chan at the end of the name. Then, and only then, can you call it something for kids. Here's the example of their calendar for this manga-chan watchmen.


I recognize everyone but December. I'm not sure if it's suppose to be Hollis or the child murderer. It could go both ways... I really don't know.

Then there has been the more weirder of watchmen material. I wrote once before about how the internet takes things and runs with them. Yeah, Watchmen is really showing that people do run. In most cases, I'd encourage these folks to run with a pair of scissors in their hands.


It is 12pm. Billy is about to throw the frisbee. Woof. It is 12:03pm. The last pleasurable yelp brought on by the belly scratch escapes my doggy lips, harf.

One thing's for sure, you better get that dog away from Rorschach.

If the movie doesn't grab your kids attention, you should be greatful. It's not for them. Again, it's not for them. This cartoon on the other hand, is made entirely for them. It's a kid friendly watchmen.

Watchmen Saturday Morning Cartoon.


Saturday Mornings with a bowl of cereal have never been so good.

But it's not all fun in animated form. Besides having the motion comics, Watchmen humor has come from the pages that are black and white with red all over. In many forms this was long before the idea of the film ever came to be. Well, at least this version. The production has been through hell for a long time.

Take a look at some of these funnies that are Something Awful's comical take on Watchmen comics.


You haven't had a good BJ till you've had one on Mars.

It just goes to show you that all comics can get the watchmen treatment.








You block head!

But besides all that, did you like the movie? Did you read the comic before or after? I want to know the thoughts of you folks. I have owned more than a long box full of watchmen trades in my day because they were so cheap and I would just give them out to comic readers. So it's interesting to see folks walk in blind to this comic book movie.



I think the main thing to take away from the film is that it's a 160 minute long trailer for the 200+ minute long DVD. Think of it like Lord of the Rings. Very long special editions that I personally can't wait for. And no, it's not because I want to see a giant blue penis in 1080i on a Blu ray disc.

Having read the comics, the film was like a Watchmen Pockets Guide. You can see hints at some of the cuts like the transition between Manhattan being attacked by the press and zapping himself to Mars. I just wonder what they left on the cutting room floor of the script writers. I really do miss having Rorschach jump out of the fridge.



For those of you who can't get enough and are looking to play an online game at looking at rorschach ink spots, here's you go. Knock yourself out on it.

All of this must be driving Alan Moore mad.. Then again, I'm sure he's just looking up new ways to ruin our childhood by writing Lost Girls Two... Who knows, really.

While it was a great movie, I'm sure there's going to be those who hate it and those who love it. I doubt there will be much middle ground. Ultimately, I'm sure Alan Moore is hoping this situation plays out like this