Work For The State? Might As Well Flip Burgers

Work For The State? Might As Well Flip Burgers

Cause hell, even In-n-Out workers make more than you do now. Then again, seven an a quarter - man I wish I was pullin down that kinda dough, you know. This is worth a good laugh, check out how Arnold just slashed salaries

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) -- Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger on Thursday ordered about 200,000 state workers to be paid the federal minimum wage this month because the state Legislature has not passed a budget.

Department of Personnel Administration Director Debbie Endsley sent the order in a letter to the state controller, who refused a similar order two years ago and may try to do the same thing this time. Most state employees will be paid the federal minimum of $7.25 per hour for the July pay period.

Schwarzenegger spokesman Aaron McLear said the change should be reflected in state employees' next paycheck. Workers will be paid in full retroactively once a budget is passed.

The Legislature has failed to take steps to close California's $19 billion budget deficit, even as the new fiscal year began Thursday.

Schwarzenegger's order does not affect a little more than 30,000 workers, including California Highway Patrol officers, who are in unions that recently negotiated new contracts with the administration. Those contracts included pay cuts and pension reforms that will save the state money.

Asked whether the Republican governor was sending a message to the unions that have not yet signed new contracts, McLear said no.

"We're sending a message to the controller to follow the law," he said.

Schwarzenegger made a similar order two years ago, but it never took affect because state Controller John Chiang refused to comply. The courts later sided with Schwarzenegger, but the matter is on appeal.

Jacob Roper, deputy press secretary for the controller, said Thursday that Chiang does not intend to follow the order, in part because the state's computerized payroll system cannot handle the change.

"This is uncharted waters here," Roper said. "No city, county or state has ever taken this action before."

Roper said the action could cost the state billions of dollars because the action would violate employment law.

Salaried managers who are not paid on an hourly basis would see their pay cut to $455 per week.

Oh boy, how that sweet retro pay will really help people after they have their utilities shut off or get evicted. One has to wonder what exactly happened to California. Then everyone will point out to that one that California has been fucked for a long time and even if we didn't elect our current Austrian body builder/action movie star to drive behind the wheel, we'd still be crashing into a brick wall because this state fucked itself a long time ago with the gipper.



Then again, by financially crippling state employees Arnold is circuitously smashing the state. Congrats Arnold, I support this decision in the most ironic of ways. I mean, let's get real (Cause the shit just got real, am I rite?) what was he suppose to do? Given that our state is in horrible debt and legally it's impossible to raise taxes.

This has really been something nearly 30 years in the making and it's good to see it finally starting to happen so people realize how fucking stupid Regan was. Let's flash back to Prop 13

Section 3. From and after the effective date of this article, any
changes in state taxes enacted for the purpose of increasing revenues
collected pursuant thereto whether by increased rates or changes in
methods of computation must be imposed by an Act passed by not less
than two-thirds of all members elected to each of the two houses of
the Legislature, except that no new ad valorem taxes on real
property, or sales or transaction taxes on the sales of real property
may be imposed.

Then 32 years pass by and people are surprised and left asking "WHY IS OUR STATE RUNNIG OUT OF MONEY?!? Stop spending! Stop fucking spending!!! America is awesome in the way that it refuses to do the one thing to save society, that thing being taxing the citizens who have it all. It really is honestly not Arnold's fault. The state doomed itself to this in a fit of fiscal conservatism 30 years ago and now we're finally realizing how stupid that was.

I mean, there's nothing Arnold can do about it. I mean, except for scaling back the prison system or revoking the executive order he signed that cut the car tax fee by 67% or actually working with the state assembly to get a fucking two-thirds majority approval on raising taxes. But here's the thing..

It's illegal for him to raise taxes by executive order
it's illegal for him to cut programs by executive order
it's illegal for him to sign an unbalanced budget
the legislature will never agree with him because it's gerrymandered as fuck

He tried fixing the last one with a ballot proposition when he first got into office but it got voted down because congressional democrats wanted to protect their gerrymandered as fuck seats and campaigned like hell against it -- so later Arnold struck a deal with Nancy Pelosi to let congressional districts be gerrymandered while fixing the state ones and that ballot proposition passed.



Unfortunately that took enough time that now we won't get new districts until next election after Arnold is termed out, so having a decent legislature will have to wait. So in the meantime it's either this or literally shut down programs. Since it's also illegal to borrow without authorization.

I mean, isn't it a legal requirement for this to happen when the state doesn't have any sort of budget? It's not like Arnold is trying to be a dick or anything. Hell, if anything, it's comical because by pushing this, he's also showing off that our shit is so old, we couldn't even try to fix it if we wanted to. There's essentially no way to actually implement this retroactive budget cause the paycheck system is run on donated macintosh computers from 1985

But just think of how worthless that job now feels. Salaried managers who are not paid on an hourly basis would see their pay cut to $455 per week. Think about it. California unemployment pays $450 a week max, tack on the $25 federal bonus and you come out ahead for NOT working and just getting fired. I think the option here is pretty obvious as to what to do.

Hell, you don't even have to get fired or anything. Because it's a wage reduction, you can still file for benefits. All the extra numbers of people filing would pretty much fuck everything over in our precious glass house economy.

Though, maybe it wont work after all. Unemployment benefits require state workers to process the paperwork and oh hey, what's this.. there's no more start workers because they all got their salaries slashed to $7.25. My plan just failed, oh well.



But anyhow, Controller Chiang is still stalling as much as possible and if the court order doesn't come down by the 21st, he won't comply and the workers will be good for august at least. The last time this almost happened banks said they'd give loans for state workers with accounts to keep them a float. Though if that failed, there's always suicide.

There's a record of California not doing the things necessary to keep us from sinking deeply into debt. Hell, they still won't comply with that federal order to release some number of nonviolent prisoners to relieve overcrowding. Arnold's actually taking it to the Supreme Court and unfortunately Clarence Thomas is still on the bench, the guy who thinks the 8th Amendment doesn't apply to prison conditions or inmate abuse and that 7-year-olds can be executed for stealing $50.

Just a little heads up here, this should come to no surprise but this is going to be entirely blamed on democrats and out-of-control spending, Chicago style politics, etc. pick your buzzword. If California had only listened to sensible conservative ideas, this wouldn't have ever happened.. What will Jerry Brown do to fix it all? Save us Meg! Save us from ourselves since you're clearly not in the pocket of anyone....

I think the long term outlook on all this can be summed up with one phrase; "Death is certain", because we can't raise taxes! Those multi-millionaires already pay too much!! We see now that Arnold was an awful choice for governor. Don't blame me, I voted for the Porno star!

No wait. I actually did vote for Arnold and am very proud of it. Did you see the other choices on the ballot? Porn star, shitty drug lawyer and Gary Coleman? Shit. Arnold was the best choice. Besides, let's face it - California's been fucked since Reagan anyway.

Even the 3rd District Court of Appeal doesn't give a fuck. They've upheld a 17-month old ruling allowing Governor Schwarzenegger to reduce state workers to minimum wage in the absence of a budget. The court, agreeing with a Sacramento Superior Court ruling, said State Controller John Chiang overstepped his authority by refusing to issue minimum-wage paychecks to state workers during the 2008 budget impasse.

And before you guys start asking if Arnold lowered his and the legislatures own compensation to min. wage, realize that Arnold doesn't take a paycheck. Though nice try, liberals. Let's just get on with it Arnold. Legalize it already. GET TO THE CHOOMA! We should just legalize weed, raise taxes. How hard is this? Well, I guess I don't know too well about how easy it is to get the weed legalized (Prop 19, yo!), but the taxes part is pretty hard, actually. Not helpful that Arnold said he had no intention of striking down Prop 13 as someone really has to.

I guess the reason California's woes are big news is only because it's a big ass state. Plenty of other states have similar or worse issues and many of those are far more systemic, such as the south for example. California's debt to GDP is actually quite good. Better than the national average. The problem is that in California it is illegal/impossible to fix it in any way.

In general, Red states tend to have better debt to GDP ratios than blue states. It's due to red states having fewer social services and their lower overall tax overhead attracts mega corporations.

I guess we're just going to ride this whole thing out. One really does hope that banks allow for loans. A lot of employees, if this does go through, will be seeing their next paycheck hit in the negatives since it's cumulative. But hey, Golden State, right? Wish they call could be Californian..

Where In the World is....

Where In the World is....

Osama Bin Laden? Yes, much like Carmen Sandiego, we're still looking for that pesky terrorist who plotted and called for the attacks on 9/11 (Hope you haven't forgotten about it) I mean, it's been almost ten years since the attacks. I'm not even sure what he looks like anymore. So in an effort to keep us all in the loop on how he looks like in case we see him at the local Whole Foods buying some blood oranges, the U.S. Government has given us a computer generated image of his new look.

WASHINGTON -- The U.S. State Department has updated its 1998 file photo of al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden, digitally altering it to account for a decade of age and possible changes in his facial hair.

There is a $25 million bounty on bin Laden's head for the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks and the 1998 U.S. embassy bombings in Tanzania and Kenya. Bin Laden is now 52. And he is believed to be hiding in the lawless Pakistan frontier bordering Afghanistan, though his exact whereabouts have been unknown since late 2001, when he and a small contingent of body guards walked out of the Tora Bora mountains, evading air strikes and U.S. special forces and Afghan militias,

The photos and bounty on bin Laden and 41 others wanted for terrorism are on the State Department's Web site,http://www.rewardsforjustice.net.

So, I bet you're wondering what Bin Laden looks like these days. Wonder no longer. Thanksf or the high tech do-hicky, here he is;



Well that settles that. Osama was really George Clooney's half muslim brother all along. I mean, look at that. Based on our advanced modeling technology, we have been able to accurately predict that Bin Laden has great hair, we're talking Clooney material here. Well, that settles it. osama was really george clooneys half muslim brother al along

Just look at the guy.. It's no wonder we can't catch him. Because we are spending time and resources making shitty conjectural photos. A trillion dollar budget and we can't even hire a good photoshopper? That image looks like it was made with the source engine from Half Life 2. I mean, that guy just looks like a grandpa that will take you out fishing and for ice cream.

If anything, that's just a product placement right there;
Just for men touch of gray let's in a little gray, allowing you to look like you know what you're doing... and till be able to do it.

Thanks for the updated pics, U.S. Government. I will keep my eyes open... Why can't we face it, the dude has to be dead. We need to get over this need for satisfaction in terms of justice being served. Hell, we can't even get the "Freedom Towers" built, so what luck do we have on ever getting over it without the blood of this man on our justice systems hands.

Is it that we're just looking for closure on this whole matter? Because he hasn't sprung any other attacks on us. So it's not like he's a threat. I'm not saying that we should just forget what he did, but let's be realistic here. We're not going to find this guy. I also have to wonder how does he get dialysis and still look like that? I mean, yeah, there's always his secret underground cave fort.



There's gotta be room for a dialysis machine in there. Plus you ave to remember that there is not one of those, there are many of those... as we were reminded all that time on those news outlets



He also probably has one disguised as a mobile weapons lab for when he used to visit Saddam. Seriously, how did we ever end up believing this crap? I think that the best part is that it take up the ENTIRE MOUNTAIN. No space goes unwasted. They should get TLC out there to see how they took Trading Spaces to school with that upgrade.

You'd figure the time and money and logistics required for this sort of job would be on par with building the great wall of China without anyone, you know, noticing what that big fucking construction project was. But I guess it's more palatable for Americans than the fact that the stinger missles are just in the mud hut equivalent of a garage.

That mountain fortress always makes me think of this Life in Hell comic strip.



Bush must have stopped looking for Osama because he knew the real threat was Hank Scorpio. I mean, it's not like we're going to ever find him. He's more than likely dead by now without any proper medical aid for his conditions that he has had in the tiny bits and pieces of information that we hear every now and then. In a hundred years it'll be some very special of whatever show is ripping off X-files at the time. Finding the missing terrorist that gave America a black eye all the way back in 2001. Not that they'll even remember what happened on that day, but those sci-fi geeks who never forgot will enjoy said episode.

But there's something else disturbing about that picture of updated Bin Laden. I feel like I've seen him before. I mean, he has a striking similarity to Spanish Politician Gaspar Llamazares. In fact, let's get his portrait up there side by side with Updated Bin Laden.



I mean, yeah. He's representing the United Left, a Communist Party, but I thought we were over the cold war and not trying to destroy communism anymore.. At least the FBI is fessing up to doing some tricky Photoshopping.

FBI admits Photofit of Osama Bin Laden had Spanish features

A MOCKED-UP image of how Osama Bin Laden may look today has been withdrawn by the US State Department after the FBI admitted it was partly based on a photograph of a Spanish MP taken from the internet.

The Photofit image of an older, greying Al-Qaeda leader bore a striking resemblance to the left-wing politician Gaspar Llamazares, a member of Spain’s Communist party and a critic of the US “war on terror”. It turned out Llamazares’s grey hair, jaw line and forehead had been simply cut and pasted from an old campaign photograph by an FBI technician.

The FBI originally claimed it used “cutting edge” technology to come up with new images of terrorist suspects for the State Department’s Rewards for Justice website.

However, Ken Hoffman, an FBI spokesman, admitted yesterday that the agency had used a picture of Llamazares taken from Google Images to update the Photofit.

He told the Spanish newspaper El Mundo: “The forensic artist was unable to find suitable features among the reference photographs and obtained those features, in part, from a photograph he found on the internet.”

The US government had previously been using a 1998 photo of Bin Laden, including on a wanted poster that offered a reward of up to $25m (now worth £15m) for information leading to his capture or killing.

Llamazares, former leader of the United Left party, was elected to Spain’s parliament in 2000. He said he would no longer feel safe travelling to the United States. “I was surprised and angered because it’s the most shameless use of a real person to make up the image of a terrorist,” he said.

“It’s almost like out of a comedy, if it didn’t deal with matters as serious as Bin Laden and citizens’ security.”

Llamazares intends to ask the US government for an explanation and is considering legal action. He said he has “no similarity, physically or ideologically, to Bin Laden”.

They do share one trait: they are both 52.

Bin Laden, who is wanted for the 9/11 terrorist attacks and the 1998 US embassy bombings in Tanzania and Kenya, is believed to be hiding in the lawless Pakistan frontier region bordering Afghanistan.

His exact whereabouts have been unknown since late 2001, when he and some bodyguards slipped out of the Tora Bora mountains in Afghanistan, evading airstrikes, special forces and Afghan militias.

HA HA HA HAHAHA HA. Yup, that's the FBI alright. I have to say that the level of competence of the American intelligence community is unparalleled. This is just comically incompetent. Only in America, right? I still can't believe they tried to pass it off as some very powerful and expensive high-tech equipment that produced what amounted to being the crop and cut/paste tools.

I just have to ask why though. Why the fuck would they take the time to do this? I mean, it's not like having him on wanted posters at the Post office with an updated image will get us any closer to finding him. If he's still alive he's some where far off and away from anyone who gives a shit about American news reports. You know how we don't give a shit about world news, I bet this photo wont even make it on that "news around the world in 60 seconds" segment.

Then again, now that we claimed a Spanish politician is Osama, I guess it will make waves over seas.. Only waves of laughter on how ignorant us Americans are. I mean, his picture must be the first on some Google image search for "Middle aged" or "early 50's" or something and that's just how it got tagged by these high-tech geeks in Washington.



Just look at the average picture on the Rewards for Justice website. I mean, it's a fucking joke. Though I do think I found myself new picture fodder for if I ever decide to troll the online dating personals. Oh yes, baby. You're 85% matched to an updated Osama Bin Laden.

Then again, maybe the U.S. Government just learned something from Time magazine, who in 1985 predicted what Michael Jackson would look like in 2000..

The Ghost OF Capitalism Future - Dubai

The Ghost OF Capitalism Future - Dubai

As much as I'm a strong and powerful American supporter, I do still believe that Capitalism is not the best economic plan for longevity. I've made the example about Monopoly and how at first, you really enjoy buying up all the land you can with all the money you get tossed at you. But as the game goes on and it's clear that someone has the strong hold on a monopoly and starts building like crazy making you pay every time you pass by it, it starts to lose the fun factor.

So when the news came out that Dubai is dead broke... I can't help but be the bearer of bad news and say that this is a preview of tomorrow's Wall Street carnage. Yup, Dubai is pretty much broke as a joke...

Dubai's Request For Debt 'Standstill' Shakes World Markets

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates — Just a year after the global downturn derailed Dubai's explosive growth, the city is now so swamped in debt that it's asking for a six-month reprieve on paying its bills – causing a drop on world markets Thursday and raising questions about Dubai's reputation as a magnet for international investment.

The fallout came swiftly and was felt globally after Wednesday statement that Dubai's main development engine, Dubai World, would ask creditors for a "standstill" on paying back its $60 billion debt until at least May. The company's real estate arm, Nakheel – whose projects include the palm-shaped island in the Gulf – shoulders the bulk of money due to banks, investment houses and outside development contractors.

In total, the state-backed networks nicknamed Dubai Inc. are $80 billion in the red and the emirate needed a bailout earlier this year from its oil-rich neighbor Abu Dhabi, the capital of the United Arab Emirates.

Markets took the news badly – with the Dubai woes and the continued fall of the U.S. dollar giving investors twin worries. Dubai's move raised concerns about debt across the Gulf Region. Prices to insure debt from Abu Dhabi, Qatar, Saudi Arabia and Bahrain all rose by double-digit percentages Thursday, according to data from CMA DataVision.

In Europe, the FTSE 100, Germany's DAX and the CAC-40 in France opened sharply lower. Earlier in Asia, the Shanghai index sank 119.19 points, or 3.6 percent, in the biggest one-day fall since Aug. 31. Hong Kong's Hang Seng shed 1.8 percent to 22,210.41.

Wall Street was closed for the Thanksgiving holiday and most markets in the Middle East were silent because of a major Islamic feast.

"Dubai's standstill announcement ... was vague and it remains difficult to discern whether the call for a standstill will be voluntary," said a statement from the Eurasia Group, a Washington-based research group that assesses political and financial risk for foreign investors interested in Dubai.

"If it is not, Dubai World will be going into default and that will have more serious negative repercussions for Dubai's sovereign debt, Dubai World and market confidence in the UAE in general," the statement added.

Dubai became the Gulf's biggest credit crunch victim a year ago. But its ruler, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al-Maktoum, had continually dismissed concerns over the city-state's liquidity and claims it overreached during the good times.

When asked about the debt, he confidently assured reporters in a rare meeting two months ago that "we are all right" and "we are not worried," leaving details of a recovery plan – if such a plan exists – to everyone's guess.

Then, earlier this month, he told Dubai's critics to "shut up."

After months of denial that the economic downturn even touched the glitzy city-state, the Dubai government earlier this year showed signs of trying to deal with the financial fallout that has halted dozens of projects and touched off an exodus of expatriate workers.

After an expensive adventure in doing things the Western way, it's "going back to basics" for Dubai, Shakeel added.

But if this comes to you as a surprise, I really don't know what to tell you. Dubai has been broke for a while now, they've just been in denial. A couple of weeks back their was a report that more people were leaving the hell out of the place abandoning their Ferrari's in the airport parking lot as they fled from collectors. Their is the ability to have a debtors prison sure scares people. I wonder if you could get a sweet deal on one of those abandoned cars. I always wanted a gold/silver plated exotic car and right now I'm sure you can get a great deal on one.

But there's a difference between abandoned Ferrari's and the whole city/state going belly-up. Although it sure seemed inevitable. I guess the business model of building Jurassic park in real life doesn't seem so sound. I mean, they had an indoor ski resort... And world shaped islands. Wait, let's see how that 'The World' project is coming along. You know, all those islands that were carefully designed off the coast of Dubai so that they would be in the shape of the contine--


Ha! yeah.. needs a little work..

The World project is one of the dumbest things ever attempted by man. You dump rocks and sand in water long enough to build islands.. not only that, but islands that look like the world. It's like that one beer ad where they toss rocks into the ocean so they have an island to party on. I mean, who doesn't want their own island to buck the rules of... drinking in public? Hmm, I'm not sure what laws they would need to make their own exclusive island for.

I'm going to talk about the bigger fish that will fry because of this, but there's just so much ground to cover. I mean, first of all, this is going to suck for those migrant slav-workers, there. It really is just a Slave run Vegas near the ocean with a lot of tall buildings. And tall buildings for nothing.



It really is pretty sad that the only thing that Dubai gets deadlines for is its massive skyscrapers and financial debts. It's not like it's a haven for slavery, corruption, blatant human rights violations, or a massive sex trade or anything. Whenever I say that I would rather visit pretty much anywhere else in the world besides Dubai people never understand why.

Besides screwing over the slave market that has been going on there for the luxuriant rich, Dubai was a place for companies to put their money into hoping for some return. In fact, this is going to kill the shit loads of companies that bailed out Dubai not too long ago by investing in them. We'll finally ge to see which banks are holding all that debt that Dubai World will "pay back when it gets around to it", from what I've heard this weeks lucky winner is HSBC. How about other companies who loaned Dubai money and have zero chance of seeing it back:

The US public will be “outraged” by Citibank’s $8 billion loan to Dubai just six weeks after the bank was bailed out, US House of Representatives domestic policy subcommittee chair-man has said. Dennis Kucinich commented on the Dubai loan and other US banking investments as a congressional panel released a report that strongly questioned Citibank’s actions. The report, shown to 7DAYS, cites the Dubai loan as the largest of the “questionable transactions” by banks after the US government bailed them out. It notes that the loan to Dubai’s public sector came on December 14, just six weeks after the US government gave Citibank a $25 billion bail-out.

The report quotes Win Bischoof, then chairman of Citi, as saying the bank agreed to the Dubai loan because “we continue to place the Gulf region among our globally most significant markets”. The report also questions JP Morgan’s $1 billion investment in India and Bank of America’s $7 billion investment in China. “When the American people find that their tax dollars, which were supposed to be used to get us out of this financial crisis, are instead being used to ship jobs and investments overseas, there will be outrage,” Kucinich said. The report notes the loans were not illegal and that it is not known if they were directly funded by bail-out funds. A Citibank official was quoted at the time as saying the $8 billion came from the bank’s own funds and third party sources. The report was released as the committee prepares to question banking chiefs about their use of bail-out funds.

Keep dreaming, Kucinich. People wont be outraged unless Glenbeck tells them to and Citibank would be more successful if it was run by some sort of dog or maybe a hamster. Even though I wrote an article about a dog stealing a turkey showing how they are untrustworthy tricksters who steal turkeys, they would make better CEO's. They can't steal 40 billion turkey's. If a dog stole a turkey that would completely occupy its attention for at least an hour, so a dog CEO could only realistically steal 5,500 turkeys a year.



I guess the best investment magnets are the ones that have no actual value aside from being investment magnets. Much like the best magnets are really big strong ones that slam together so hard that they turn your fingers into mincemeat. So this turning into a piss poor investment really shouldn't shock anyone.

It really makes you wonder why the hell economists all over the world shocked by this? It was concluded last year when the shit hit the fan that Dubai was going to go even further tits up. At least now you can get an amazing deal on a partially finished 500 story desert igloo tower. I mean, what was even the point of that towering symbol of modern day Babylon? You can see all the waste of money from up here!



This just highlights how stupid it was to build all those super-skyscrapers. There is no density that required it. It's really a work of stupidity. I recall hearing all the Econ majors foaming at the mouth and jerking off to Dubai. I guess it was just a matter of not having enough free market. The market, it needs more freedom! Actually, what it needs are more bootstraps and strawmen. Ten years from now all those abandoned towers are going to make for some really awesome post-apocalyptic locations for movies made by the Chinese, or poor college kids.

It was a bourgeois wonderland. I mean, how could it not be with a full fucking indoor skiing. Why would you want to go skiing in a desert? I do not know. I guess they took the idea of the indoor water park from vegas and ran with it. Really though, it's not needed and it's just over abundance. I guess I can't feel bad for those people because they went to an oppressive, shit hole country hoping to get rich. Goodbye, modern day version of Babylon. I guess the only thing now is I have no place to see disgusting displays of opulence and wealth now.


I am Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look upon my Jurassic Park recreation, and despair.

I haven't even touched on the tip of the ice burg in terms of absurd pictures of wasteful spending. You can check this site out to see the amount of pointless shit they were making in this wonderland where they assumed you could just throw more money at and it'll start working.

You'll have to forgive me. I've reached this far into this piece and I have not shown any concern for Haliburtons new headquarters located in Dubai... What will become of that poor company?! Heaven forbid it now has to spend more money on relocating to somewhere that isn't going to become a ghost town. Karma seems to be a bitch.

Dubai is a nice allegory for everything that is wrong with the world. It's basically Titanic 2.0. You know how in Sim City you make a really dense city as quickly as possible with tons of skyscrapers and you add tons of worthless landmarks and take out a bunch of loans to pay for all of it? That game strategy was really bad and usually never worked out. You didn't have to make a modern day Sim City situation to find that out.

I leave you with a video and these words from an article I found to be amazingly written about this place. Whoever runs this is my new favorite person. But let this be a reminder of what Capitalism holds for America's future.

England is deserted, Australia and New Zealand have merged, and the man who bought Ireland has killed himself.

They were designed to make Dubai the envy of the world: a series of paradise islands inhabited by celebrities and the super-rich reclaimed from the azure waters of the Arabian Gulf and shaped like a map of the Earth. It was called The World.

As millions of tonnes of rock were dumped into the sea for the foundations, timely leaks suggested that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were to buy Ethiopia, Sir Richard Branson was tipped to occupy England, while Rod Stewart would border him in Scotland.

Instead it has become the world’s most expensive shipping hazard, guarded by private security in fast boats and ringed by warning buoys to keep the curious away. A development that was meant to send Dubai’s star into the firmament of First World cities has been left to the mercy of the waves and the baking winds.

Mile after mile of breakwater built from boulders brought hundreds of miles by ship has been laid, but inside its man-made lagoon, work has completely stopped. The expected map of the world of 300 islands is instead a disjointed and desolate collection of sandy blots — a monumental folly just out of sight of Dubai’s shore.

Those who bought into what was the world’s most ambitious building project were not celebrities. Many were more ordinary investors who put down 70 per cent deposits, some of them Anglo-Indians. John O’Dolan, who fronted a consortium that bought Ireland in 2007 for $38 million (£27 million), committed suicide earlier this year. The others have little prospect of seeing a return. Now The World has stopped they can’t get off.

“The World has been cancelled. It doesn’t even look like the world. Basically there is one island that is maintained that is said to be owned by the Sheikh [Dubai’s ruler] and the rest looks like a pile of muck,” said one local property agent.

It is the starkest example of a financing crunch that faces the emirate but many other projects are also in jeopardy. In the United Arab Emirates (UAE), of which Dubai is a part, about $300 billion of building is on hold after prices began tumbling. Abu Dhabi, Dubai’s oil-rich neighbour, is helping to support it through the crisis, so far to the tune of about $10 billion. Another $10 billion is likely to follow soon, and more may follow.

Digital Conversion

Digital Conversion

If you can read this, you did not get a digital converter box for your computer monitor. Oh, what? You thought it was only for your tv? I'm sorry buddy, but all you get is this mocking body of text as well as a lot of images of static. It seems that you were not prepared for the digital conversion that all the media outlets have been warning you about for the last year or so.

In fact, I think this digital conversion is long over due. I mean, how long have I've been hearing about this shit? I recall back in about 2001 at NAB that everyone was going on and on about how we were going to be fully converted and the government would mandate the switchover. They would say that there was no way they could get everyone converted in time for 2006. Here we are in 2009 and they finally did it. Way to go technology.



It's funny that the television signals that we broadcast decades ago are still flying through the solar system. passing Pluto right now is some I Love Lucy episodes from back in the day. I guess if any alien life form has a dish they can pick up what we were watching a decade ago. Our analog signals are polluting the sky and will forever be floating around. But not anymore. We're going green. Our carbon footprint will no longer be a huge mass of stupid reality tv shows. Well, I guess it still will be. Just not as intrusive.

So why change over? Well, first of all, the digital signal can handle a lot more message/signals per bandwidth. So that means instead of a single channel 4, you can have about 9 signals in one broadcast signal. So you'll have 4.1, 4.2, 4.3, 4.4, 4.5 and so on all be their own channels providing different content. Pretty snazzy.



More importantly there is only so much bandwidth to go around. So using digital compacts the size of that signal down so that we can free up room for someone else to use it. The old signal that we used to use for broadcast signals are now going to go towards emergency channels and the like of that. So while you wont be able to pick up a television station through them, with the proper use of wires and tools, you'll be able to use them as a form of entertainment.

Now the real question is why aren't you ready for the switch over? This has been in the media for the last year or so in how they've been pimping it. They even pushed it back from the Feb. date because they said 6 million people weren't ready. Now the number is down to about 2-3 million people not being ready.



Did you guys not realize you can get a digital converter box for free at target by simply going to target with a government coupon? You know what. You people don't deserve to get tv. I mean, shit. If you have cable you don't even need one. So this only really effects those people to poor to have cable. And frankly, if you don't have cable, you're not missing much. Well, you're missing The Tonight Show with Conan, which I must say, is god damn funny beyond all belief.

Still, you should be left out in the dark. Way to not think ahead. Hope you enjoy your VHS tapes since you can't get a signal. Yeah, I said it. You more than likely don't even have a DVD player either. Maybe you're stuck on beta max. Then again, if you don't have any of that shit, you're more than likely not computer equiped and how else are you going to be reading this to begin with? You might as well be looking at static.

Cause I'm The Tax Man!

Cause I'm The Tax Man!

The downside to having your birthday before the 15th is that everyone is so wrapped up into figuring out the complex process of doing their taxes to even care. Let alone have any money to get you anything that doesn't come from the 99 cent store. Ok, let's be honest, I'm sure my birthday could be on FREE MONEY FOR EVERYONE DAY and I'll more than likely still not get a gift. That's how I roll, yo.

It doesn't help that the price of just about everything is going up. If you haven't noticed, your California sales tax went up from 8.25% to 9.25%

The $12.8 billion tax increase signed by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger comes in the throes of the worst recession in a generation. It will cost more than $300 for every man, woman and child in California - $1,200 taken from the discretionary spending of an average family of four - either in direct tax increases or in tax-driven price increases as businesses pass along their costs to consumers.

Set aside all the ideological arguments about taxes: simply as a practical matter, Gov. Schwarzenegger has just made the state's budget woes - and its economy - significantly worse.

On June 28, 1991, the California Assembly began debate on what was then the biggest tax increase in California's history: a $7 billion tax hike pushed by Gov. Pete Wilson that included increases in sales, income and vehicle taxes.

If there's a bright side to this, at least now coming up with a tip is going to be a little easier. And you queers who keep tipping only 10%, come on. I know times are tough but now all you have to do is double your tax and you have some basics to giving your waiter a livable tip.

Clearly tensions are running wild. It's not good to have uncle sam pick your pockets all year long in your paycheck, let alone have it come time for the bill to see if you've paid over what you should or if you still owe. It's a crap shoot and well, it generally sucks



But there's a revolution brewin', but it ain't tea that's on the stove. No sir, places all over the good ol' US of A are gonna show that a day in which you get money back from the Gubmint ain't good enough. No no, this is a day in which places all over the country are going to get out into gathering spots of mass consumerism and really stick it to Obama administration and hopes to achieve it's goal of...

uh...

stop paying taxes, I guess.

These folks are pretty silly to begin with. Who the fuck calls themselves Tea baggers? With a name like that you're just asking for no one to take you seriously. Taxes may suck, but after living my entire adult life in the Bush administration, this is the first time I am NOT ashamed of my country.



I can only imagine what these folks think like "I can't believe obama is going to raise my taxes from $323 to $341 - that's a whole $18 I could spend on a tax day t-shirt

RON PAUL 2012! "

Do these people realize that the taxes that we are paying this year were still Bush's plan. So I'm not sure where this hate for Obama is coming from. Oh yeah, morons. My bad. This is honestly one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. Let's protest Obama's tax cuts and raises that haven't even been implemented yet! How dare Obama not fix everything in three months. Change, my ass.

Even if you were going to harp on what Obama hasn't done and should focus on the shit Obama has personally done (not getting rid of warrantless wiretapping, allowing Republicans to barter about releasing Bush torture memos, not going far enough with stimulus and bank nationalization, etc) I'd be fine with these protests/things. It would be freedom of speech in some productive manner. This though, is pretty fuckin' stupid petty shit.


Pick up a history book, my dear. We've done far worse.

Here's a reminder folks that this is a protest over raising the top income tax bracket from 36% to 39%, a level that was in place just 8 short years ago, and a level far below what it was at for the vast majority of the 20th century, by a portion of the population who will almost entirely be outside of the affected tax bracket, and that this is unironically being touted as a similar justification for revolution as the conditions that sparked off the American revolution. In short, you protesters are fucking morons.

That's not even getting to the fact that this isn't even slightly original. Can't they come up with something original sounding? I get that they're pissed at the government, but it's a completely different issue from what was going on during the Boston Tea Party. Call it the Pork Party or at least be somewhat original, instead of trying to play on some odd nostalgia, attempting to turn modern-day neo-con mouthpieces into "patriots".

I suspect that many people tomorrow that will be protesting won't even know the historical background of the Boston Tea Party. Maybe I'll attend one of these with a cup of hot water. Free tea, yo. Better yet I'm going to disguise myself as an illegal alien and dump used general motors cars into the San Francisco Bay. At least that way it'll actually be accurate to the Boston tea party. That's what our founding fathers would've done. At least in the world of Glenn Beck.


I can see why the teabaggers want these days brought back; those striped stockings are SO slimming

I'm going to have some tea tomorrow. Probably Earl Grey. Don't think I'll be able to convince anyone to have a tea party with me though. But the mentality of thse fuckwads on taxes is the same on tea. Which is that no one in America gives a shit about tea. Which goes hand in hand with what they feel like towards their fellow American.
"I don't want to help everyone else if it costs me anything at all."
True patriotism right there.

I suppose since us democrats protested Bush nonstop for eight years, it's the republicans turn to have a day of fun cardboard sign making and poorly constructed chants. In the end, you should pay your god damn taxes though. Even if some of it is going to shitty bank bail out, there's still a lot of it going to road construction, social security and other medicare programs.


Sure, I wont steal the government. Perhaps some taxes should go to schools because a comma would change that completely.

This year I actually had someone else do my taxes. Something about a pile of freelance paychecks as well as my 20th century one really made it a confusing. Thankfully I got a call today that told me I'm getting a sizable refund. That's Hollywood accounting for you.

Perhaps with uncle Sam taking from your wallets, some interesting bit of news would be useful. Don't worry about your taxes because Robots Just Went Sentient.



Look at the cute little robot in the part!

F-Off F-22!

F Off F-22

A couple of days ago I wrote about the over price piece of shit F-22 While I like things that go BOMB! POW! and BLAMMM-O!, I don't find military spending to be all that grand. In fact, I don't like it considering the state that our nation is in. Fuck foreign terror, we're crumbling from the inside. Well, it looks like there's some glorious news today. If I don't mind stroking myself (it is my birthday after all) I have to say I'm an influential writer with this. Here's the news piece.

WASHINGTON - Defense Secretary Robert Gates is recommending cuts for high-tech weapons programs he calls wasteful or ill-suited for the low-tech tasks of fighting insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan.

On Monday, Gates announced plans to rearrange the huge Pentagon budget, some $534 billion for the coming year, to better address the wars the United States is fighting now and may fight in the future.

This means turning away from some expensive Cold War-era planes and ships — such as the $140 million-per-plane F-22 stealth fighter — that were designed to provide an edge against the Soviet Union and other former enemies.

It looks like we just saved our selves eighty bajillion dollars by not buying a plane that's so hyperadvanced it can't be used in war zones. It's like taking a atomic bomb to a knife fight. It's the Hummer H3 of fighter aircraft - it looks cool and it's technically an SUV capable of going off-road, but really it'll only work in ideal conditions and will seldom ever work the way you want it to.

I know what you're thinking "BUT MY LASER RAPTORS NOOOOO!!!!!" While it would be cool to have raptors with lasers, you're thinking of the wrong thing. It's not as cool as you think. At least not worth the price tag.

While I'm happy about this slash in the defense budget, what they really need to do is slash the whole defense budget by about 90% There is literally enough money there to fix the world, or at least get a good job started on it and we're blowing it all on the bigger.



Oh shit, I didn't even think of the ramifications of this.. Forget everything I just said, Please support the American industry, Obama. Don't do this to union workers at lockheead barstow local #356. Who will bailout the workers and their family?!? Won't anyone think of their children?

Oh, who am I kidding. We are just going to spend the exact same amount of money on robot warriors drones. I read they're also giving more money for missile defense which is way worse. With each half a million dollar missile you're just making a half a million kamikaze jet plane. All you're doing is building a highly advanced jet aircraft, and then you deliberately blow it up. It's pretty ridiculous on what we spend money on.

What about my own union brothers? I'm guessing that Transformers 2 will have to deal with their precious transformer being a now out of work plane. But it's not like they haven't been able to face the challenges as they come their way.

Many of the new Autobot cars supplied by General Motors were brightly colored to look distinctive on screen. The filmmakers made the new cars themselves because GM lacked the resources.

That's pretty sad that in a product placement film like Transformers, GM was in such poor shape that the studios had to make them.



Oh the wonders of modern combat. During the cold war there was plans for a plane called The Flying Crowbar

It was a US cold war technology nuclear powered missile that dropped off a bunch of nukes and then just circled around an enemy country contaminating the air. Dick move!

With all that said, I'm still going to be a complete nerd with fighter pilots and planes when the Green Lantern animated movie comes out.

Check out the trailer here

In my defense, Hal doesn't use government spending to fly, just a fancy green ring.

What Can You Buy, Fly Boy?

What Can You Buy, Fly Boy?

I'm a big Hal Jordan fan. I love me some Green Lantern. In saying that I should be some pilot nut, right? I guess. I drove by Edwards Air Base not to long ago on a night drive. It's been a while since I had one of those. Either way, It was a vast desert and I don't mean something with a lot of ice cream and some chocolate cream on top, that's a dessert.

A couple of weeks back an F-22 crashes near Edwards Base

WASHINGTON (CNN) — An Air Force F-22A fighter jet crashed Wednesday near Edwards Air Force Base in California, Air Force officials said.

The single-seater crashed about 10:30 a.m. (1:30 p.m. ET) for unknown reasons, the officials said.

The status of the pilot was unknown.

The fighter was on a test mission when it crashed about 35 miles northeast of Edwards AFB, where it was stationed, the Air Force said in a news release.

At $150 million apiece, the F-22A is the most expensive Air Force jet.

So they crashed a $150 million plane turning it into a $150 bon fire. That's a lot of money to burn up. Makes you wonder how much money from these planes ended up as salaries or bonuses for the executives of the makers



And what do you get for that $150 price tag? Well, you gt a lemon. That's what. This is the new plane, first one of its kind to crash like this. But perhaps it was doomed to fail from the get go considering they can't even fly in a war zone.

This F22 is the one that can't work in a war zone because of the interference from other units. Basically cell phones and microwaves as well as TV broadcast fuck its stealth and avionics packages up. Those radars on those warships? Yeah, those fuck it up as well. Basically, there's so much electronic shit going on in a modern theatre of war, on every usable frequency of the EM spectrum, that the F-22's sensitive gear can't really operate properly

In the attempt to go all stealth like they single out the jammers, but all that those are really doing are blocking nearby signals from cellphones or whatever by flooding particular frequencies. so, all you really need to do to foil a F-22 is create a ton of EM noise, which is pretty much a given in any warzone.


How much money is it going to cost to make
this a government dream come true.

So why even keep producing these things? Because they're bad ass, of course. Anything Michael Bay likes must always get military funding. The F-22 made its major Hollywood debut in the 2007 film Transformers as the form taken by the Decepticon character Starscream in addition to numerous USAF fighters that engaged during the initial and climactic battles. The movie crew was allowed to film actual Raptors in flight, unlike previous computer-generated appearances, because of the military's support of director Michael Bay. The Raptors were filmed at Edwards Air Force Base.

So it comes full circle. Thank you Michael Bay for keeping this stupid thing floating around. I wonder how long till the Republicans blame this on Obama's F-22 funding cut? Maybe the pilot is only a few crashes and one POW stint away from a run for presidency. That huge price tag has to include a lot of cash that goes to military equipment that gets accidentally destroyed, breaks or simply doesn't work to the standards of the air force.



I love military spending. Fuck schools and hospitals, research and social development. Fuck all sorts of projects that would actually help people and the country as a whole, gimme my goddamn planes with awesome bombs and guns and shit on them, fuck yeah! Pew pew pew! Let's go start a war or two with some brown people so we can see this shit in action, don't worry only the poor farm kids will die. Yeah, I know. Defense contractors support local industry and the unions. I've seen the second season of the wire. I get that, I just don't get the whole point of spending so much on shit that'll go BOOM!

The pilot in this crash died because of this. So I'm guessing it's shaping up to be a really bad year to be in a plane. Though I do plan on getting one soon. This bird has to fly or he's going to go insane. But clearly not insane to spend $150 million on a plane. In reality the last several actually cost $500 million each. For the sake of argument let's just go with the $150 price tag. It brings up a good point on what we could actually buy for $150 million.



What exactly could we get for that price tag?

We could have paid all those AIG bonuses!

Get myself a Dishwasher. Yes. They could fix my dishwaster. They should really just fix my god damn dishwasher.

Fuck it, I know no one likes washing dishes, we could fix millions of dishwashers with this.

A nice supply of noodles for when the collapse comes.

College education for everyone in the country for a year



Healthcare for everyone in an entire low population state like Wyoming or ND.

20 or 30 properly budgeted schools

Paying down the fucking deficit.

One really awesome birthday gift for me because it's coming up. Hint hint!

One really bad ass plane... no wait, this isn't what was on my shopping list. FOCUS FOCUS!!



A ton of PS3's and Xbox 360's to the starving children of Africa

We could make 150 slum dogs millionaires.

150 million slum dogs dollaires. Which would actually make some difference.

Make some more kickin' rad comic book movies.

Well at least that money wasn't spent on arts education or public transit. Fuck those infrastructure additions

American Economics Recession 101

Okay, I know what you're all thinking. Why would I write an article on the economy and the recession? What do I have to offer that isn't simply CNN's Business section poorly paraphrased, with curse words and meme references peppered throughout? If you came here expecting that, you'd be exactly right. But I know more about economic downturns than one might expect.

When I was a kid my grandpa used to tell us about how he lived through the Great Depression. It was a time of financial prosperity. My grandfather lived in a three story mansion and sampled the finest delicacies from all over the world. Of course, my grandpa was a noose salesman and the thirties were a boon for his industry. Sure, you could build your own noose, but nothing hangs 'em like a genuine Johnson Noose, 100% guaranteed to hold firm or your money back.

These things got our family through some tough times.

The feelings of that era linger above us once again as a recession rears its ugly head. I'm not worried since I've inherited my family's line of rope, toaster, and 20th story window manufacturing plants. But for others the prospect of a recession means that the era of living beyond your means is at an end. For the first time in a long time Americans will simply have to live at their means.

Okay, so a recession isn't as bad as a Grape Depression, sure, but what is a recession? Has it started yet? Luckily for you I took exactly one economics course and suddenly I know everything there is to know about the economy.

But I didn't take microeconomics. That's small-time economics for losers. That's balance-your-checkbook-and-see-how-you-did-in-the-class-faux-stock-market-game shit. Ooo, you made a 23% return on your monopoly money, you get an A+! I took macroeconomics, where the big boys play. We're talking international currency supply and demand stock market shit. Ever hear of something called a Euro? Heh, I thought not.

With my superior knowledge of all things finance I have amassed a vast fortune of pogs and Pokemon cards. My brilliant investing and Dragon Ball hedge funds ensure that I never have to work another day in my life. Never bet against Goku. His charged spirit ball exploded in a blast of dividends and defeated the fiscally conservative Vegeta once and for all. That was the day I made my first million, but I threw half of it away on Gohan municipal bonds. Gohan sucks and was never as powerful as Goku. Never.

If you ask a bunch of economists whether or not we're in a recession they'll all have the same answer, "Get the hell off my property." The fact is that no one is really sure whether there is a recession or not. There may be signs of a recession. It may feel like the right kind of weather for a recession. But no one really knows for sure because while everybody on Wall St. talks big, very few of these guys are in it to win it.

There is nothing you can say in a political cartoon that you can't say in an unreadable 1,000+ word blog update.

The man who paid the cost to be the boss is Ben Bernanke, the King of the Federal Reserve. Let me tell you about this guy. This Bernanke is watched like a hawk and anything he says or does can influence the market in wild ways.

If Bernanke takes a dump in the morning and it smells a little worse than usual and has peanuts in it, the DOW will drop 300 points in a day. In fact, it did just that on Monday. Shouldn't have had PF Chang's over the weekend. If his dump clogs the toilet and he has to grab a fork to break it up so it'll go down the toilet the S&P 500 might land on the whammy spot. If Bernanke emerges from his nest and sees his shadow we might have eight more weeks of winter. Who the hell knows?

I make sure to watch all the financial channels like CNBC and Bloomberg so I know what's going on, during the commercials of Scooby Doo and Small Wonder of course. One thing I'm sick of is all the hyperbole spewed about this massive, devastating recession that will end civilization as we know it. "IT WAS A BLOODY DAY ON WALL ST. TODAY", I heard on one channel. You'd think they were holding cockfights in there or something.

I watch this show called Jim Cramer's Mad Money, the finance guy who is infinitely smarter than every other finance guy because he had the good sense to develop a gimmick, always give financial advice as if you're my dad. I swear to God I can't watch that show sometimes because I feel like he's going to jump out of the screen and slap the shit out of me and I get flashbacks to when I was a kid and I start seizuring in front of the television.

But anyway, Jim Cramer is so good at trading that they don't let him own stock. He has pretty much figured out the stock market. He's like that guy from Press Your Luck who figured out the sequence of the board and if he were allowed to trade he would singlehandedly bankrupt the country. At least that's what my friend Jimmy tells me. His dad is an economist and doesn't let me come over his house when he's home but I go over there anyway. His dad hates Jim Cramer and wants to beat him up so bad haha.

There are several factors that caused a recession, but it's mostly this subprime lending thing. Basically it went like this based on what I could piece together from Wikipedia and comical YOUTUBE videos.

Home Buyer: So you're saying I can own a home?
Mortgage Guy: Well, yes, but the rate can go up at any time so-
Home Buyer: HEY FRANCINE, WHERE YOU THINK WE SHOULD PUT THE PLASMA TV???

But it's kind of hard to lecture people while they are being evicted, so much of the blame falls on lenders with predatory business practices. I mean, yeah, they're predators, but that's their job. And it's not like these people couldn't read the fine print on the toilet.

I can't fault somebody for not reading the license agreement before they install World of Warcraft, Steam or sign up for a BangBros account, but we're talking about buying a house for Christ's sake, a purchase one should spend more than six minutes thinking about. But we'll finally be able to get a dog, honey! And a backyard, oh... it's our dream come true!

Here's some generic clipart for some generic content.

The presidential candidates won't blame home buyers who took loans they knew they couldn't repay. They got votes to harvest, damnitt. "Yes, yes it's those damn lenders, like cougars they are, stalking their prey, THE AMERICAN HOME BUYER. I propose a ban on taking advantage of dumb middle-class Americans." So that's that...

The only real way to know if a recession is here is to look at your portfolio and if there's no money left there is a recession and it stole all your cash. Make sure you look at your financial portfolio and not your art portfolio that every studio rejected before you gave up on your dreams and became an accountant and women won't even talk to you so you read The Game to try and become a pick up artist but when you tried to pick up on some chick she went home with the sensitive artist instead and you contemplated taking your own life. All accountants have gone through this and there are no exceptions.

There are other guidelines that help you determine whether or not a recession is here. For example, if you're climbing up a ladder and you hear something splatter, recession, recession. Another good sign is if you're walking down a hall and you feel something fall, recession, recession.

You can usually see signs of a recession all around you. When my accountant was driving in his Chevy and he felt something heavy, recession, recession. The other day the recession hit me while I was climbing a tree and it dribbled down my knee. Yeah... I love grade school rhymes about poop, you know it.

What's the best way to ride out the recession? Burn your money of course. If you can't have it, no one will. You could also send it all to me and I will invest it properly. Most traders talk about diversity, diversity, diversity, but my portfolio isn't a mixed-race marriage for God's sake. I want action, and there is nothing better than putting it all on red, or good and honest white-owned corporations like AIG and Lehman Brothers... oh wait. And once you do that you let it ride. I'm telling you, the best financial advice comes from Stormfront.org.

Don't worry, the government has cooked up an economic plan that rivals that of the death star. The goal is to take out 700 billion dollars and bail everyone out. So while you might have been smart enough not to get that loan, you will be paying for those who weren't in the form of taxes. You better get out there and try to apply for loan real quick, it's like free money. Here's to hoping they do what they do best, spend it on stupid shit. And by throwing money at the situation we're gonna fuck, that, recession, up!

God bless America.