Showing posts with label commercials. Show all posts
Showing posts with label commercials. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Silly Ads That Will Give You Aids

Silly Ads That Will Give You Aids

I know it's strange for me to talk shit about advertisements given the field that I work in. All that the productions that I work on are simply a reason for the viewer to sit there and watch commercials for products. That's the whole way I get paid. If the show doesn't generate the attention to attract the most eyes towards, then it gets canceled.

Even though you're sleeping on top of a pile of money at the end of the day, you have to wonder is it worth it for your own moral compass? How far is too far in terms of an ad? Are you even getting your message across with what you're trying to advertise for? Take for example this latest wave of AIDS awareness ads.



I know sex sells and believe me, I paused that video at least three times. I mean, did you see that side boobage? Can you blame a guy for that? But then you get to the end and it's Hitler. I did not need to see Hitler have sex. I've already seen him complain about James Cameron's Avatar and Trent Reznor rescheduling his last tours. The last thing I needed was to see him get all freaky and what not.



I'm not exactly sure what the message of the ad is. If you have sex with AIDS, you're having sex with Hitler? Ironically, it's Hitler's status as an intravenous drug-user, not as a mass murderer, that makes him a more likely AIDS carrier. Way to do your research, Aids prevention foundation. Besides that, no woman would find that silly mustache attractive. Not in a million years. Same goes with Stalin. Who is getting busy and down to the dirty work himself in this ad.



Hey, when a dude's gotta purge, a dude's gotta purge. Not to mention that the chick Stalin's nailing has got one really strange tit. What? Oh come on, this whole article has no class. Much like the ad campaign they're trying to run. I can only work with the material I get and this is crazy shit.

Moving on now, the real perplexing question is if the following was the greatest image to use for the person they decided to suggest it would be awful to have sex with. In it, it looks like AIDS is a grizzled old sea captain Hemingway. Is that the best



Hell, he sort of looks like the Dos Equis guy. "I don't always commit mass murder, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis.

These photoshops are just simply awful in every way possible. I decided to toss in another. The job isn't steller, but it's what it is for a quick tossed together photoshop. Gotta say, it's just as good as the rest.



Nah, we all know he's too stupid to ever get any from random girls. Not unless they're hardcore christians (though I'll reserve my taunting of that culture for another blog) But still, you get the point, this campaign really glosses over the point. Yeah, yeah. If you have AIDS you may as well be a mass murderer.

This next ad just makes me wonder why bother trying to break the equality line when it's clear that society isn't going to change. Check this out, Looks and cooking, there's nothing else worth examining or caring about in a woman. This girl has one other asset that makes her valuable - looks. That's how she'll make up for the lack of cooking knowledge or the willingness to learn how to scramble an egg.



This ad is false advertising for a couple of reasons. First off, Wonder Bras are just lies to both the women and her suitors.

Then you have the ad lying to women by showing a woman with an already full bust wearing the product. There's no way that the bra is creating that without there being some amount of boobs there to work with.

Then you have the final nail. There's really no excuse for not knowing how to cook basic stuff. Even if you're a complete screw up in the kitchen, you have to at least know how to bake. Didn't your parents give you an easy bake oven? Or at least a light bulb and some cookie dough to play with?

Monday, June 29, 2009

Ads I Do LIke - Jim Henson

Ads I Do Like - Jim Henson

If you've followed this blog, you'd seen that I hate a lot of ads. Being that I'm in the entertainment industry and the whole point of the productions that I'm working on is to simply sell advertising minutes, I think I should be less jaded about it.

Can you blame me? There's a lot of really shitty ads out there. When I first started writing, I would write copy and create stupid and otherwise unmarketable. But I thought they were silly. On a recent trip I discovered that Jim Henson, before going all muppets, did silly advertising in the same fashion. He has become even more my hero with the work that he did.

I present to you some of the best ads I have ever seen. Even if they're all old and outdated, I'd still buy the shit out of the products simply because of the way they took the creative marketing to sell them.

La Choy Dragon

God damn, that's funny shit.

RC Cola

dsadsad

Ideal Toys


Some Sausage


More la Choy Dragon!


Wilson Meats


Linit


C&P Telephone


Munchos ... Notice someone familiar in that?


Tastee Freez


And what a way to end this but with that awesome dragon again

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Fuck You, Commercials.

Fuck You, Commercials.

I was flipping through late night television the other day and came across this ad that has been running for a while now.



Thanks Duracell but next time do you think you could try to sell me batteries without indirectly threatening me with the death of my child?

Is using marketing practices like this acceptable? What can I blame for this so I know where to drive my truck full of fertilizer-bombs? Think about this shit. Even worse is that such a product as a "child locator" exists scares me. Paedophile panics really are becoming the popular way to keep people in line, can't use pogroms to deflect public anger? Well folks have you heard of kiddie fiddlers? THEY COULD BE ANYWHERE! THEY COULD BE ANYONE! Truly we must fight these paedophiles (and Muslims) if we are to live in a happy and safe society.

It doesn't end there. It seems that the best tool for selling anything is to scare people because they're already scared enough. You can scare people into buying basically anything.



Then again, perhaps people should see the world for what it is.. a scary ass place where you can die at any minute.



Yeah, now that was a great ad. Too bad the Smurfs did the same concept a while back



Though I guess you can win with it if you make it into something you really should fear... which is not landmines or bombs. It's aliens



Gotta say though, this one is just playing on the fears of working in a dangerous field around dangerous equipment.


She was just asking for it..

But not all stupid ads are horror filled. Some are just stupid because they're stupid. I know that's not very descriptive but just follow me on this one. Let's take a look at this ditty over at menards storage sheds.



Thanks for selling me cheap metal storage needs while there's a tornado warning going on. I was really lacking some metal pieces sticking out of my chest. Maybe with the money I save I can afford better CGI effects for my advertisement



Or.. Maybe not. Sometimes you just have to get jiggy with it



This is just a shitty commercial because it's so drastically different than how Miners actually look.



That ad makes me want to puke. I mean, it really has to be the worst commercial ever. Sure, you have hot chicks sweating up a storm. But listen to the message. Everything even the song is about company stores. I'm sure it offered no informative PSA about the strikes at Ludlow. Renewable energy my ass! I'm sure it offers an informative PSA about the strikes at Ludlow. Speaking of blowing smoke up your ass. Let's look at this Discover Card ad



I'm pretty sure the only way to live a happy and fulfilling life is through material wealth and massive credit card debt, what the fuck are they on about? Let's look at your past, Discover Card



Which is more of a commentary on the health care of our society. But speaking on keeping healthy.. Remember this Nike ad?



Besides having a hot chick run in a sports bra, I guess it did more to the effect of showing you that you should be able to run.. or you'll die. One step to getting healthy is to eat good food.. like these bars



BABIES!!

Here's another helpful hint in staying healthy... make sure your whites are white.



That one made me skid mark my pants.. I shit you not. And when I think of Tennessee Trash, this isn't the first thing I thought of...



Just consider the fact that there exist advertising agencies at all. Advertisement is a commodity, abstracted from what is being advertised. If advertising reflected an attempt to present consumers with information to make informed choices, there would be no reason that any large firm would feel the need to hire an ad agency instead of just making ads in house, since after all they are the most familiar with their products and should be in the best position to describe them. Just ask Cal and his Pussycat, spot.