Showing posts with label TERRIBLE PEOPLE ADS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TERRIBLE PEOPLE ADS. Show all posts

Friday, February 5, 2010

Superbowl Ads To Come... Focus on the Family

Superbowl Ads To Come... Focus on the Family

To be honest, I'm not much of a football fan and yet oddly enough I'm a huge Friday Night Lights fan and if you're not watching it, there's something wrong with you. Anyhow, without the knowledge on when the actual super bowl is, I suppose I'm talking out of my ass when it comes to the actual game. Good thing that no one actually cares about the game or the two teams playing it. We all realize that it's all about the ads that run through it.

The Super Bowl is so boring that one of the big reasons to watch it is the advertisement that runs through it. Just let that sink in for a minute. And if not for that, we all hope for some sort of train wreck in whatever Half Time show that is thrown together when you should be otherwise taking a piss or going on a beer run. Perhaps the super bowl would be better if it were just a regular football game without a 40 minute long halftime show by artists who have long since past their prime.



That's not to say that the advertisements are really any good. Super Bowl commercials are consistently awful and always have been. We've just been fooled into thinking that they're comical or outrageous enough to be talked about around the water cooler the next day. Well, if you still even have a god damn water cooler in your work place, you should have something to talk about on Monday as Focus on the Family is tossing up an ad...
In between the Dr Pepper, Doritos and Bud Light commercials airing during the Super Bowl on Feb. 7, one first-time advertiser will be pushing God's product line.
Focus on the Family will air a 30-second "life- and family-affirming" television spot, featuring University of Florida star quarterback Tim Tebow and his mother, Pam, during the coverage.

The Colorado Springs-based media ministry shot the ad with the Tebows on Tuesday in Orlando, Focus spokesman Gary Schneeberger said Friday. It is set to air before and again during the CBS broadcast of the football championship from Dolphin Stadium near Miami.

Tebow and his mother will share one of their many positive personal stories, Schneeberger said, but he wouldn't reveal which one. One contender is Pam Tebow's decision to carry her son to term despite a life-threatening pregnancy in the Philippines, where she and her husband, Bob, were serving as Christian missionaries.

The 2007 Heisman Trophy winner, also known for being home-schooled, winning an NCAA championship and wearing Bible-verse citations inscribed on his game-day eye black, agreed to appear in the ad because the issue of life is one he and his family feel strongly about, Schneeberger said.

Schneeberger wouldn't say how much it cost to make the ad or the price of air time. However, TNS Media Intelligence reported Monday that 30-second Super Bowl commercial slots, which will reach an estimated 100 million viewers, are selling for $2.5 million to $2.8 million, down from last year's record price on NBC of $3 million.

Declining donations at Focus on the Family have forced the ministry to eliminate more than 275 jobs in recent years. However, Schneeberger said, the money for the Super Bowl ad is not coming out of the ministry's general fund.
"Every cent for this ad was paid for by generous donors who specifically gave for this project because they are excited about this opportunity for Focus to show who we are and what we do," Schneeberger said.

Jim Daly, Focus on the Family president and chief executive, said in a statement that the Tebows' message about family comes at the right moment in the culture because "families need to be inspired."

"Tim and Pam share our respect for life and our passion for helping families thrive," Daly said. "Focus on the Family is about . . . strengthening families by empowering them with the tools they need to live lives rooted in morals and values."
So this ad, encouraging women NOT to abort even in the face of potentially deadly circumstances, is apparently not too controversial for CBS to run. On the other hand, CBS thought that this ad for the United Church of Christ was too controversial to run five years ago.



As you can read in this article from the Boston Globe
CBS and NBC both described the spot as too controversial. In a letter to the denomination, a CBS official said, ''Because this commercial touches on the exclusion of gay couples and other minority groups by other individuals and organizations, and the fact that the Executive Branch [the Bush Administration] has recently proposed a constitutional amendment to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, this spot is unacceptable for broadcast."
I could say that this is pretty darn unacceptable but I suppose I can understand it. Advertisement dollars are really low and the ads they would have at once denied, are the ones they'll be more than happy to take a dollar or two from them. Even at the cost of looking like they're favoring some anti-abortion stance. Or should I say "Pro-life", as if those who are open for free choice of a person to what they want to do with their body is "Anit-life".

I know, I know. I'm sure it comes as a surprise to no one but NFL fans are kinda conservative, so maybe it's just preaching to the converted. But if they want to run an ad about abortion, why don't they just do it during Oprah? It'll make more sense and it will be female friendly. How awkward has it been the last few years for the ads to be for Viagra or some other penis erection pill that they're trying to sell? I'm trying to watch a football game.. or at least the awful ads, not trying to see how to get my dick harder. Need advice for that? Look at the cheerleaders of each side's team. There you go. No pill involved.



Another thing that Focus on the Family will do is send books that ridicule and reproach the practice of using condoms to schools in South Africa. I hope this pregnancy thing is a gimmick and nothing more than a fad because giving birth sounds pretty disgusting. What is with the world and their need to breed and pump out babies?

Then again, this may seem like a pretty decent ad. Abortion should be stigmatized for whites considering depressed birthrates. I bet they don't run any ads during the World Cup which, by the way, is the most-watched sporting event n the world. The Super Bowl is a distant, distant second. Besides that, who the fuck who is watching the Super Bowl even gives a shit about College football star Tim Tebow.


What.a.douche!

Any team that drafts Tim Tebow is a shameful team, if I ever seen one. This will mark the one ad only time Tim Tebow will ever be on during a Super Bowl, no doubt about that. There's a high chance that these commercials backfire on Focus on the Family because everyone fucking hates Tim Tebow except for southern baptists from Florida.

Besides, I've gone this long into the discussion about that piece of shit and not mention this article about how he likes to cut small children's dicks?
Tebow, famous for his charity and missionary work, spent his spring break in The Philippines. What was he doing? Circumcizing children.

"The first time, it was nerve-racking," he said. "Hands were shaking a little bit. I mean, I'm cutting somebody. You can't do those kinds of things in the United States. But those people really needed the surgeries. We needed to help them."

Richard Moleno, a Florida graduate and aspiring doctor, said: "You could see he was really into it. He thought it was cool. I'd make a stitch, he'd cut a stitch. He got his hands a little wet in surgery."
Yup, that's right Southern Baptist, this guy likes snipping off foreskin. That alone should have him packing. Then again, I'm not sure how much time he has to Focus on the Family when he's focusing on his wife's Bikini;



Maybe it's just me, but I don't think that bikini really fits here well. She has a quasi-celebrity boyfriend, you think that she would be able to afford something that covers herself up a little more. Wouldn't want the young kids killing a human sperm by depositing it into a Kleenex. It's really going to be rough when she turns 40 and is walking around with those things smacking her in the knees.

It's as if the Christianity movement is not only fiddling while Rome burns, but they're also playing with a full Orchestra, "Onward Christian Soldiers" while the charred crossbeams fall around them. And while using the excuse that you have to make more babies seems like a perfectly logical justification to get his girlfriend to sleep with him, I simply have to wonder why anyone, including yourself, could possibly bring a child into the world in this age of post-peak energy decline.



You're simply asking for them to live through the suffering through a bad Mad Max sequel with Tina Turner. If not some incredible tax debts that we're going to leave them. You're pretty much giving the middle finger to any offspring you produce. But still, no excuse NOT to try to sleep with what appears to be the person attached to those tits that Tim Tebow is fucking dating.

Besides, isn't that the whole point of the media format. Sex sells. Those are often the more popular of the advertisements. I'm sure you'll get a lot more reaction if you saw Tim and his girlfriend practice this whole "pro-life" thing on screen. Till then, why don't they just shut up about the politics of all this and get to the sexuality filled adverts.



It's bad enough you're watching the game, stuffing your mouth full of chips and beer/soda in an attempt to avoid social interaction in a very strange socially active method. But to toss in what is the equal of a topic grenade into the middle of a football game, a show that already has two sides providing tension towards each other with fans of both teams bumping heads to see which team is better, is it all that smart of a move to bring up pro-life/pro-choice into the middle of this?

You're just asking for trouble in all sorts of levels there. Why can't the ads go back to the way they once where. Silly and mind numbing. Nothing there but something to pass the few moments while you took a piss before coming back to the game. It really is ironic that now if you want to take a piss, just do it during the game as you sure as hell don't want to miss a minute of the commercial break.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Fuck You, Commercials.

Fuck You, Commercials.

I was flipping through late night television the other day and came across this ad that has been running for a while now.



Thanks Duracell but next time do you think you could try to sell me batteries without indirectly threatening me with the death of my child?

Is using marketing practices like this acceptable? What can I blame for this so I know where to drive my truck full of fertilizer-bombs? Think about this shit. Even worse is that such a product as a "child locator" exists scares me. Paedophile panics really are becoming the popular way to keep people in line, can't use pogroms to deflect public anger? Well folks have you heard of kiddie fiddlers? THEY COULD BE ANYWHERE! THEY COULD BE ANYONE! Truly we must fight these paedophiles (and Muslims) if we are to live in a happy and safe society.

It doesn't end there. It seems that the best tool for selling anything is to scare people because they're already scared enough. You can scare people into buying basically anything.



Then again, perhaps people should see the world for what it is.. a scary ass place where you can die at any minute.



Yeah, now that was a great ad. Too bad the Smurfs did the same concept a while back



Though I guess you can win with it if you make it into something you really should fear... which is not landmines or bombs. It's aliens



Gotta say though, this one is just playing on the fears of working in a dangerous field around dangerous equipment.


She was just asking for it..

But not all stupid ads are horror filled. Some are just stupid because they're stupid. I know that's not very descriptive but just follow me on this one. Let's take a look at this ditty over at menards storage sheds.



Thanks for selling me cheap metal storage needs while there's a tornado warning going on. I was really lacking some metal pieces sticking out of my chest. Maybe with the money I save I can afford better CGI effects for my advertisement



Or.. Maybe not. Sometimes you just have to get jiggy with it



This is just a shitty commercial because it's so drastically different than how Miners actually look.



That ad makes me want to puke. I mean, it really has to be the worst commercial ever. Sure, you have hot chicks sweating up a storm. But listen to the message. Everything even the song is about company stores. I'm sure it offered no informative PSA about the strikes at Ludlow. Renewable energy my ass! I'm sure it offers an informative PSA about the strikes at Ludlow. Speaking of blowing smoke up your ass. Let's look at this Discover Card ad



I'm pretty sure the only way to live a happy and fulfilling life is through material wealth and massive credit card debt, what the fuck are they on about? Let's look at your past, Discover Card



Which is more of a commentary on the health care of our society. But speaking on keeping healthy.. Remember this Nike ad?



Besides having a hot chick run in a sports bra, I guess it did more to the effect of showing you that you should be able to run.. or you'll die. One step to getting healthy is to eat good food.. like these bars



BABIES!!

Here's another helpful hint in staying healthy... make sure your whites are white.



That one made me skid mark my pants.. I shit you not. And when I think of Tennessee Trash, this isn't the first thing I thought of...



Just consider the fact that there exist advertising agencies at all. Advertisement is a commodity, abstracted from what is being advertised. If advertising reflected an attempt to present consumers with information to make informed choices, there would be no reason that any large firm would feel the need to hire an ad agency instead of just making ads in house, since after all they are the most familiar with their products and should be in the best position to describe them. Just ask Cal and his Pussycat, spot.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Don't Try To Upfront It, Yo.

Don't Try To Upfront It, Yo

Well, with a name like WeirdTV, I think perhaps I should touch on strange shit or at the very least shit that happens on TV, right? Yeah. It has been a while since I even focused on that sort of stuff. Generally because I was busy working on some god awful sing-a-long lip singing production that will not be named due to potentials of lawsuits and nondisclosure agreements. But it's good to have a chance to talk about Television news.

Today I touch on the Upfronts. What are the Upfronts? The upfronts are where the Studio brings its new pilots in front of Executives and Advertisers, allowing marketers to buy commercial airtime "up front", or several months before the season begins. Upfronts typically occur during the third week of May, the last full week of that month's sweeps period.

Although a lot of news has dribbled out over the last few weeks, official announcements should be forthcoming for any existing shows left on the bubble, as well as a surprise announcement or two surrounding your favorite pilot. Ah yes, the wonderful world of pilots. I've helped write a failed one and then there's all the ones I did work on that never saw the light of day.

Since you're more than likely wondering what actually made it and what didn't, here's how your tv watching will shape up to be come fall.

CBS Schedule:

MONDAY

8:00-8:30 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
8:30-9:00 ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE
9:00-9:30 TWO AND A HALF MEN
9:30-10:00 THE BIG BANG THEORY
10:00-11:00 CSI: MIAMI

TUESDAY

8:00-9:00 NCIS
9:00-10:00 NCIS: LOS ANGELES
10:00-11:00 THE GOOD WIFE

WEDNESDAY

8:00-8:30 THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE
8:30-9:00 GARY UNMARRIED
9:00-10:00 CRIMINAL MINDS
10:00-11:00 CSI: NY

THURSDAY

8:00-9:00 SURVIVOR
9:00-10:00 CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION
10:00-11:00 THE MENTALIST

FRIDAY

8:00-9:00 GHOST WHISPERER
9:00-10:00 MEDIUM
10:00-11:00 NUMB3RS

SATURDAY

8:00-9:00 CRIMETIME SATURDAY
9:00-10:00 CRIMETIME SATURDAY
10:00-11:00 48 HOURS MYSTERY

SUNDAY

7:00-8:00 60 MINUTES
8:00-9:00 THE AMAZING RACE
9:00-10:00 THREE RIVERS
10:00-11:00 COLD CASE

Thrilling, right? Looks like Big Bang Theory is being nurtured to be Two and a Half's replacement as the comedy anchor of the night. Not much else to say besides this: NCIS:LA? Really? It looks like it's an NCIS night in there. I can't really say I care much about this line up. There's like two shows that I'll watch in there.

NBC Schedule:

MONDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Heroes”
9-10 p.m.–”TRAUMA”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

TUESDAY

8-10 p.m. - “The Biggest Loser” (two-hour edition)
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

WEDNESDAY

8-9 p.m. - “PARENTHOOD”
9-10 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

THURSDAY

8- 8:30 p.m. - “SNL WEEKEND UPDATE THURSDAY” (multi-episode run)
8:30-9 p.m. - “Parks and Recreation”
9- 9:30 p.m. - “The Office”
9:30-10 p.m. - “COMMUNITY” (moves to Thursdays 8-8:30 p.m. after multi-episode run “30 Rock” returns)
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

FRIDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Law & Order”
9-10 p.m. - “Southland”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

SATURDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Dateline NBC”
9-10 p.m. - “TRAUMA” (encore broadcast)
10-11 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY

7- 8:20 p.m. “Football Night in America”
8:20-11 p.m. “NBC Sunday Night Football”

NBC MID-SEASON 2010 SCHEDULE

(2010 WINTER OLYMPICS preempt regularly scheduled programming from February 12-28, 2010)
*New programs in UPPER CASE

MONDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Chuck” (season premiere)
9-10 p.m.–”DAY ONE”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

TUESDAY

8-9:30 p.m. - “The Biggest Loser” (90-minute edition)
9:30-10 p.m. - “100 QUESTIONS”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

WEDNESDAY

8-9 p.m. - “MERCY”
9-10 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

THURSDAY

8- 8:30 p.m. - “COMMUNITY”
8:30-9 p.m. - “Parks and Recreation”
9- 9:30 p.m. - “The Office”
9:30-10 p.m. - “30 Rock”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

FRIDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Law & Order”
9-10 p.m. - “Southland”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

SATURDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Dateline NBC”
9-10 p.m. - “Southland” (encore broadcast)
10-11 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY

7-8 p.m. - “Dateline NBC”
8-9 p.m. - THE MARRIAGE REF
9-11 p.m. - “The Celebrity Apprentice” (season premiere; two-hour edition)

My Name Is Earl is shit canned. So is Medium. Medium is getting put on CBS, which is funny since they put it on next to Ghost Whisperer. And while Jennifer Love Hewitt over Patricia Arquette, you kinda have to appreciate the oddness of having the knock off version of one show next to the other.

My Name Is Earl, that's a sad state. I worked on that show. I enjoyed it. Sure, I haven't sat down and watched the last season, but seeing it go out like that because NBC doesn't make bank off the television production of it is sort of a shame. No worries, Fox, who does produce it, is shopping it around.

Also on the list is WAAAAAAAY too much Jay Leno. I'm looking forward to Conan taking over the Tonight Show though.


ABC's fall schedule:

MONDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars” (two hours)
10:00 p.m. “Castle”

TUESDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Shark Tank”
9:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show”
10:00 p.m. “The Forgotten”

WEDNESDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Hank”
8:30 p.m. “The Middle”
9:00 p.m. “Modern Family”
9:30 p.m. “Cougar Town”
10:00 p.m. “Eastwick”

THURSDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Flash Forward”
9:00 p.m. “Grey’s Anatomy”
10:00 p.m. “Private Practice”

FRIDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Supernanny”
9:00 p.m. “Ugly Betty”
10:00 p.m. “20/20”

SATURDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Saturday Night College Football”

SUNDAY:
7:00 p.m. “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
8:00 p.m. “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”
9:00 p.m. “Desperate Housewives”
10:00 p.m. “Brothers & Sisters”

Quite a bit of new shows, especially on Wednesday night. Castle gets a second season? Nathan finally gets a show into second season status? Well color me surprised. Good job, captain tightpants.

Sadly, ABC decided to pass on the U.S. version of No Heroics. Which is a British original and it was a pretty funny take on the whole heroes stuff. I doubt the U.S. version would ever keep in the gay sex jokes. though. Ohwell.

Then we get to Fox. Thank you for the paycheck, bend over so I can pucker up my lips..

FOX Fall 2009 PRIMETIME SCHEDULE:

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 HOUSE
9:00-10:00 LIE TO ME

TUESDAY
8:00-10:00 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Performance Show

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Results Show
9:00-10:00 GLEE

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 BONES
9:00-10:00 FRINGE

FRIDAY
8:00-8:30 BROTHERS
8:30-9:00 ‘TIL DEATH
9:00-10:00 DOLLHOUSE

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 COPS
8:30-9:00 COPS
9:00-10:00 AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
11:00-Midnight THE WANDA SYKES SHOW (working title)
Midnight-12:30 ANIMATION DOMINATION ENCORES

SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 THE OT (NFL post-game)
8:00-8:30 THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 THE CLEVELAND SHOW
9:00-9:30 FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 AMERICAN DAD

Here is the Fox 2010 Mid season Schedule:

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 HOUSE
9:00-10:00 24

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 AMERICAN IDOL Performance Show
9:00-10:00 PAST LIFE

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 AMERICAN IDOL Results Show
9:00-10:00 HUMAN TARGET (January) / GLEE (spring)

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 BONES
9:00-10:00 FRINGE

FRIDAY
8:00-8:30 BROTHERS
8:30-9:00 ‘TIL DEATH
9:00-10:00 DOLLHOUSE

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 COPS
8:30-9:00 COPS
9:00-10:00 AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
11:00 -Midnight THE WANDA SYKES SHOW (working title)
Midnight-12:30 ANIMATION DOMINATION ENCORES

SUNDAY
7:00-7:30 ANIMATION DOMINATION ENCORES
7:30-8:00 AMERICAN DAD
8:00-8:30 THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 SONS OF TUCSON
9:00-9:30 FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 THE CLEVELAND SHOW

A lot of interesting things to be seen from that. First off, did you see that Saturday night line up? America's Most Wanted is still on the air? WHAT THE FUCK? No, not that, silly. I'm talking about the midnight and later stuff. Looks like they're trying to tap into the Adult Swim crowd. Which is strange because they sell most of their shows to Cartoon Network's Adult Swim program line up.

American Dad is also getting the dredded 7:30 Sunday death slot. While it shows that it's the bottom of the totum pole, King of the hill survived a lot of years there. Still, doesn't show a lot of promise to a healthy future for that show.

Then you have dollhouse. Which is getting two comedies to lead into the Friday night slot. At least with Terminator, which was killed and WB doesn't give a shit about keeping alive somewhere else, it had a Sci-fi/Nerd appeal. Dollhouse also is booked for both parts of the season. Maybe Fox is really hopeful that they'll order more?

My vote for BEST IN SHOW goes to Jimmy Kimmel. Mr. Kimmel then took a verbal swing at his own network, reminding the audience that ABC had attempted to hire away Mr. Leno when his tenure ended at NBC’s “Tonight Show.” But, according Mr. Kimmel, NBC said it would not give up Mr. Leno, “even if we have to destroy our own network to keep him.

Jimmy Kimmel Said

Let's get real here. Let's get Dr. Phil-real here. These new fall shows? We're going to cancel about 90 percent of them. Maybe more.

Every year we lie to you and every year you come back for more. You don't need an upfront. You need therapy. We completely lie to you, and then you pass those lies onto your clients.

Next year on ‘Grey's Anatomy,' your product could kill Dr. Izzie. It just depends on how much you want to pay.

"I think all our shows are going to work this year. I really do. I don't, really."

"The important thing to remember is: who cares, it's not your money."

Kimmel also took a shot at NBC and Jay Leno, whom ABC once courted to possibly replace him when his contract with NBC expired, saying that they're "giving Jay's viewers exactly what they want. An early-bird special."

I'm sure ABC will return the favor once they are up for renewing his show. Still, it's a pretty honest thing to say. Wont change a thing, but honest.

So there you have it. A preview of your fall tivo setting lineup. Hope you enjoyed this boring trip into the actual TV world of a blog by Wierd TV...