Don't Try To Upfront It, Yo.

Don't Try To Upfront It, Yo

Well, with a name like WeirdTV, I think perhaps I should touch on strange shit or at the very least shit that happens on TV, right? Yeah. It has been a while since I even focused on that sort of stuff. Generally because I was busy working on some god awful sing-a-long lip singing production that will not be named due to potentials of lawsuits and nondisclosure agreements. But it's good to have a chance to talk about Television news.

Today I touch on the Upfronts. What are the Upfronts? The upfronts are where the Studio brings its new pilots in front of Executives and Advertisers, allowing marketers to buy commercial airtime "up front", or several months before the season begins. Upfronts typically occur during the third week of May, the last full week of that month's sweeps period.

Although a lot of news has dribbled out over the last few weeks, official announcements should be forthcoming for any existing shows left on the bubble, as well as a surprise announcement or two surrounding your favorite pilot. Ah yes, the wonderful world of pilots. I've helped write a failed one and then there's all the ones I did work on that never saw the light of day.

Since you're more than likely wondering what actually made it and what didn't, here's how your tv watching will shape up to be come fall.

CBS Schedule:

MONDAY

8:00-8:30 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
8:30-9:00 ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE
9:00-9:30 TWO AND A HALF MEN
9:30-10:00 THE BIG BANG THEORY
10:00-11:00 CSI: MIAMI

TUESDAY

8:00-9:00 NCIS
9:00-10:00 NCIS: LOS ANGELES
10:00-11:00 THE GOOD WIFE

WEDNESDAY

8:00-8:30 THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE
8:30-9:00 GARY UNMARRIED
9:00-10:00 CRIMINAL MINDS
10:00-11:00 CSI: NY

THURSDAY

8:00-9:00 SURVIVOR
9:00-10:00 CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION
10:00-11:00 THE MENTALIST

FRIDAY

8:00-9:00 GHOST WHISPERER
9:00-10:00 MEDIUM
10:00-11:00 NUMB3RS

SATURDAY

8:00-9:00 CRIMETIME SATURDAY
9:00-10:00 CRIMETIME SATURDAY
10:00-11:00 48 HOURS MYSTERY

SUNDAY

7:00-8:00 60 MINUTES
8:00-9:00 THE AMAZING RACE
9:00-10:00 THREE RIVERS
10:00-11:00 COLD CASE

Thrilling, right? Looks like Big Bang Theory is being nurtured to be Two and a Half's replacement as the comedy anchor of the night. Not much else to say besides this: NCIS:LA? Really? It looks like it's an NCIS night in there. I can't really say I care much about this line up. There's like two shows that I'll watch in there.

NBC Schedule:

MONDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Heroes”
9-10 p.m.–”TRAUMA”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

TUESDAY

8-10 p.m. - “The Biggest Loser” (two-hour edition)
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

WEDNESDAY

8-9 p.m. - “PARENTHOOD”
9-10 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

THURSDAY

8- 8:30 p.m. - “SNL WEEKEND UPDATE THURSDAY” (multi-episode run)
8:30-9 p.m. - “Parks and Recreation”
9- 9:30 p.m. - “The Office”
9:30-10 p.m. - “COMMUNITY” (moves to Thursdays 8-8:30 p.m. after multi-episode run “30 Rock” returns)
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

FRIDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Law & Order”
9-10 p.m. - “Southland”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

SATURDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Dateline NBC”
9-10 p.m. - “TRAUMA” (encore broadcast)
10-11 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY

7- 8:20 p.m. “Football Night in America”
8:20-11 p.m. “NBC Sunday Night Football”

NBC MID-SEASON 2010 SCHEDULE

(2010 WINTER OLYMPICS preempt regularly scheduled programming from February 12-28, 2010)
*New programs in UPPER CASE

MONDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Chuck” (season premiere)
9-10 p.m.–”DAY ONE”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

TUESDAY

8-9:30 p.m. - “The Biggest Loser” (90-minute edition)
9:30-10 p.m. - “100 QUESTIONS”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

WEDNESDAY

8-9 p.m. - “MERCY”
9-10 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

THURSDAY

8- 8:30 p.m. - “COMMUNITY”
8:30-9 p.m. - “Parks and Recreation”
9- 9:30 p.m. - “The Office”
9:30-10 p.m. - “30 Rock”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

FRIDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Law & Order”
9-10 p.m. - “Southland”
10-11 p.m. - “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

SATURDAY

8-9 p.m. - “Dateline NBC”
9-10 p.m. - “Southland” (encore broadcast)
10-11 p.m. - “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY

7-8 p.m. - “Dateline NBC”
8-9 p.m. - THE MARRIAGE REF
9-11 p.m. - “The Celebrity Apprentice” (season premiere; two-hour edition)

My Name Is Earl is shit canned. So is Medium. Medium is getting put on CBS, which is funny since they put it on next to Ghost Whisperer. And while Jennifer Love Hewitt over Patricia Arquette, you kinda have to appreciate the oddness of having the knock off version of one show next to the other.

My Name Is Earl, that's a sad state. I worked on that show. I enjoyed it. Sure, I haven't sat down and watched the last season, but seeing it go out like that because NBC doesn't make bank off the television production of it is sort of a shame. No worries, Fox, who does produce it, is shopping it around.

Also on the list is WAAAAAAAY too much Jay Leno. I'm looking forward to Conan taking over the Tonight Show though.


ABC's fall schedule:

MONDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars” (two hours)
10:00 p.m. “Castle”

TUESDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Shark Tank”
9:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show”
10:00 p.m. “The Forgotten”

WEDNESDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Hank”
8:30 p.m. “The Middle”
9:00 p.m. “Modern Family”
9:30 p.m. “Cougar Town”
10:00 p.m. “Eastwick”

THURSDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Flash Forward”
9:00 p.m. “Grey’s Anatomy”
10:00 p.m. “Private Practice”

FRIDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Supernanny”
9:00 p.m. “Ugly Betty”
10:00 p.m. “20/20”

SATURDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Saturday Night College Football”

SUNDAY:
7:00 p.m. “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
8:00 p.m. “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”
9:00 p.m. “Desperate Housewives”
10:00 p.m. “Brothers & Sisters”

Quite a bit of new shows, especially on Wednesday night. Castle gets a second season? Nathan finally gets a show into second season status? Well color me surprised. Good job, captain tightpants.

Sadly, ABC decided to pass on the U.S. version of No Heroics. Which is a British original and it was a pretty funny take on the whole heroes stuff. I doubt the U.S. version would ever keep in the gay sex jokes. though. Ohwell.

Then we get to Fox. Thank you for the paycheck, bend over so I can pucker up my lips..

FOX Fall 2009 PRIMETIME SCHEDULE:

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 HOUSE
9:00-10:00 LIE TO ME

TUESDAY
8:00-10:00 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Performance Show

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Results Show
9:00-10:00 GLEE

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 BONES
9:00-10:00 FRINGE

FRIDAY
8:00-8:30 BROTHERS
8:30-9:00 ‘TIL DEATH
9:00-10:00 DOLLHOUSE

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 COPS
8:30-9:00 COPS
9:00-10:00 AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
11:00-Midnight THE WANDA SYKES SHOW (working title)
Midnight-12:30 ANIMATION DOMINATION ENCORES

SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 THE OT (NFL post-game)
8:00-8:30 THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 THE CLEVELAND SHOW
9:00-9:30 FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 AMERICAN DAD

Here is the Fox 2010 Mid season Schedule:

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 HOUSE
9:00-10:00 24

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 AMERICAN IDOL Performance Show
9:00-10:00 PAST LIFE

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 AMERICAN IDOL Results Show
9:00-10:00 HUMAN TARGET (January) / GLEE (spring)

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 BONES
9:00-10:00 FRINGE

FRIDAY
8:00-8:30 BROTHERS
8:30-9:00 ‘TIL DEATH
9:00-10:00 DOLLHOUSE

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 COPS
8:30-9:00 COPS
9:00-10:00 AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
11:00 -Midnight THE WANDA SYKES SHOW (working title)
Midnight-12:30 ANIMATION DOMINATION ENCORES

SUNDAY
7:00-7:30 ANIMATION DOMINATION ENCORES
7:30-8:00 AMERICAN DAD
8:00-8:30 THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 SONS OF TUCSON
9:00-9:30 FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 THE CLEVELAND SHOW

A lot of interesting things to be seen from that. First off, did you see that Saturday night line up? America's Most Wanted is still on the air? WHAT THE FUCK? No, not that, silly. I'm talking about the midnight and later stuff. Looks like they're trying to tap into the Adult Swim crowd. Which is strange because they sell most of their shows to Cartoon Network's Adult Swim program line up.

American Dad is also getting the dredded 7:30 Sunday death slot. While it shows that it's the bottom of the totum pole, King of the hill survived a lot of years there. Still, doesn't show a lot of promise to a healthy future for that show.

Then you have dollhouse. Which is getting two comedies to lead into the Friday night slot. At least with Terminator, which was killed and WB doesn't give a shit about keeping alive somewhere else, it had a Sci-fi/Nerd appeal. Dollhouse also is booked for both parts of the season. Maybe Fox is really hopeful that they'll order more?

My vote for BEST IN SHOW goes to Jimmy Kimmel. Mr. Kimmel then took a verbal swing at his own network, reminding the audience that ABC had attempted to hire away Mr. Leno when his tenure ended at NBC’s “Tonight Show.” But, according Mr. Kimmel, NBC said it would not give up Mr. Leno, “even if we have to destroy our own network to keep him.

Jimmy Kimmel Said

Let's get real here. Let's get Dr. Phil-real here. These new fall shows? We're going to cancel about 90 percent of them. Maybe more.

Every year we lie to you and every year you come back for more. You don't need an upfront. You need therapy. We completely lie to you, and then you pass those lies onto your clients.

Next year on ‘Grey's Anatomy,' your product could kill Dr. Izzie. It just depends on how much you want to pay.

"I think all our shows are going to work this year. I really do. I don't, really."

"The important thing to remember is: who cares, it's not your money."

Kimmel also took a shot at NBC and Jay Leno, whom ABC once courted to possibly replace him when his contract with NBC expired, saying that they're "giving Jay's viewers exactly what they want. An early-bird special."

I'm sure ABC will return the favor once they are up for renewing his show. Still, it's a pretty honest thing to say. Wont change a thing, but honest.

So there you have it. A preview of your fall tivo setting lineup. Hope you enjoyed this boring trip into the actual TV world of a blog by Wierd TV...

BSG.... explained?

BSG... Explained?

It has been a couple of days since the last episode of Battlestar Galactica aired and thus ending a great series. I have sobered up, frakkin drank my sorrows some more and then got totally sober again to make sense of it all. It may not have been pretty. It may not have been a neat little bow to tie off the series, but it did make sense and the more I think about it, the more I'm happy with the way it ended. Even if I'm totally lacking any religious beliefs in my system.

I keep hearing that there's still a lot of confussion going around about this series, the last episode and how everything was pretty much answered. Perhaps I could make it a bit easier to follow. Perhaps not. It's worth a shot and I have nothing better to write about today as I'm still recovering from too much Italian food. Hey, forgettaboutit, eh!


One last ride

Let's break down the characters.
-Humans live on Kobol. They are normal humans. Well, as normal as one could be that keeps on saying Frak instead of FUCK.
-Cylons are robots created by man. They rise up and kill man. Often refered to as toasters because they make delicious eggos nice and warm.
-Skinjobs are cylons who are human in all ways but are robots.

The chronology starts on Kobol:

- On Kobol, humans create robots, and eventually skinjobs.
- Humans and robots part ways, humans found colonies, skinjobs settle on real Earth
- Real Earth cylons create their own robot servants
- Real Earth cylons create resurrection
- Real Earth cylons get nuked by their robot servants, the final five escape and travel to the colonies by that whole resurrection they created.
- Meanwhile, colonials create new robot servants
- Robots rebel against colonials, first cylon war
- Final Five reach colonies, attempt to placate colonial robots by giving them resurrection and more skinjobs
- Thanks to Cavil, it doesn't work. Final five get their brains wiped and sent to live among the colonials
- Colonies get nuked by their robots with help from the new non-final-five skinjobs
- Colonial survivors, led by BSG, flee to real Earth, pursued by Cylons
- Colonial survivors find real Earth, but it is nuked
- The events of season 4.5 occur
- Colonials, final five, and new skinjob rebels find a new planet led by Kara Thrace
- They settle on this new planet, call it Earth, and interbreed with the population
- Modern humans evolve from these interbreedings

Compared to many other things in BSG this is pretty well-explained and by the last episode it was well covered and everything was resolved. I guess.



A lot has been asked about Starbuck. What the fuck was she? We saw her die at the end of season 3. She blew the frak up, right? How did she come back and what was she when she came back? Why the fuck did she vanish at the end? Well, the vanishing thing is easy to explain. I saw Penn and Teller explain it once. It's all forced camera perspective and mirrors. Apollo was probably in on it.

Perhaps it is easier if you nerds just pretend Kara was Gandolf of BSG. She was there to perform some duties. She died in the quest to find Earth but some higher power brought her back for the sole purpose of taking them to Earth. If you could swallow that pill in Lord of the Rings as to why Gandolf was alive and well and now wearing white for LOTR, why the fuck can't you swallow it for BSG? They pretty much said "God did it", just roll with the punches. She died and was brought back by whatever devine force they want to call God in the BSG world for a reason. She completed it and vanished into being dead again. Simple, really.


Sums up the ending, alright.

When it was all said and done, what about the ending? Was it just me or did they basically copy Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Let's break it down to see if I'm on to something here:

-Space fleet fleeing destruction of homeworld ends up in Africa hundreds of thousands of years ago
-A robot/cyborg guy is left to pilot the ship into the sun
-Implication that the space colonists are the true ancestors of mankind and that the native hominids are a dead end*
-One of the main guys decides to head off and explore some northern island

Just replace Jimi Hendrix with What a Wonderful World and we're all set. Not that I'm complaining. I loved Hitchhiker's Guide. So much that I read it every couple of months. Since I also love BSG, I guess it's a perfect pairing.

What about the religious stuff? Yeah, I'm a pretty strong atheist, so perhaps I didn't really dig the whole God stuff all that much. I'm not one of those anti-religious nuts. If you're going to be a show about god, well, I guess this was and I should have realized it a long time ago. Several times throughout the series Baltar asked, point blank, Head Six "What the fuck are you?" and she's always replied that she's an angel of God. So color me surprised that she was actually an angel of God.


BSG and Religion? WHY I NEVER!

It's not like this is news. Galactica and Mormonism have had a lot of connections... Hell, the original creator of the classic BSG was Mormon. Perhaps it was only a matter of time before it came out to light. Besides, Ron Moore really made Deep Space Nine into a total religious thing and the ending to this screams Star Trek: First Contact. But then again, perhaps I should stop with the nerd talk, right? Let's get on with more religion!

In Jewish-Christian-Muslim theology at least 3 people -all prophets - have vanished into thin air. it is a "normal" concept. That explains the little trick that Starbuck pulled. Over all, I don't mind Jesus in my tv. The bible would be much more entertaining if it was treated like a simple novel. Though it'll still be a terrible read.


Move over Slave Leia, this is the new nerd fantasy

How about the far fetched idea of dropping all of your technology and living among cave people as Lee Adama planned it out to be? Well, perhaps it's not that crazy to think about. I still imagine it was a tough sell to try to pass on all those people who traveled to Earth with the Galactica crew. I could picture that conversation:

"Okay, tell me the plan."

"Well, first thing we're going to do is shoot all our spaceships into the sun."

"Wait, what?"

"We're going native."

"Well, that's all well and good, but why can't we just leave the spaceships there in case we ever need them again?"

"Because we won't need them. We're going to make sure that all of our advanced technology goes with them."

"What?"

"That's right. We're going to give up all our technology and become farmers."

"...You realize I'm an astrophysicist. What the fuck do I know about farming?"

"You'll learn."

"Okay, okay, this sounds stupid, but I guess if we band together..."

"We're not going to band together, we're going to scatter ourselves across the globe."

"Wait, why?"

"To increase our chance of survival."

"Um, it seems to me our chance of survival would be best if we stuck together. How are we going to repopulate otherwise?

"We're going to frak the Neanderthals."

"What?"

"They're just like us."

"No they aren't, these are cavemen. We can't even speak to them for frak's sake."

"Practice your grunting and your pointing."

"This is just... well, you guys led us here, I guess it's for a good reason. So we're going to give up every technological advantage we've ever come up with and try to live like our tribal ancestors who had an average life expectancy of seventeen years. Why are we doing this?"

"We're pretty sure if we don't, this will all happen again."

"Wow, okay, I don't see how living like our prehistoric ancestors is going to keep the remnants of Cavil's fleet from tracking us down, but I guess..."

"I'm not talking about Cavil's fleet, I'm talking about our descendants. We had some visions, and we think that if we continue our technological ways, two thousand years from now our descendants will have another war against robots."

"...and if we do give it up?"

"We're reasonably certain we can push it back past a hundred and fifty thousand years."

"...Is it too late to side with Gaeta?"


You mean I'm going to be stuck 150,000,000 years in the past with that?(it's a machine after all) Sign me up.

Then again, the ending with them throwing away thousands of years of culture and technology actually made sense and was the whole point. They managed to forestall humanity's destruction by it's own creations for 150,000 years by doing so. They broke the cycle, and we still haven't managed to destroy our planet yet. But give us time, I'm sure we'll get it done with on our to do list.

We Can Be Heroes, Just For One Day... I Just Wouldn't Want To Be.

We Can Be Heroes, Just For One Day... I Just Wouldn't Want To Be.

A show is born to innocence. A show demonstrated it was good. Why then did it go so horribly wrong? Was it will? Was it destiny? Was it complete fucking incompetence? To fight evil, one must know evil; one must journey back through time and find that fork in the road, where Heroes turned one way and shows of lasting quality turned another.

You made me this way, Heroes. Ever since I watched season two, the most drawn-out, tedious, needlessly-slapstick-and-romance-enhanced torture session of my life, I've hungered for punishing entertainment experiences. I have come to feed on the anger and betrayal. That pain, I'm always so grateful for it now, because it's the only time I know I'm still human. But for all the wretched movies and music I've voluntarily inflicted on myself in the past year, nothing managed to sustain its horribleness for eleven hours. A numbness filled my mind with cotton and ice.

Finally, I've found a way to recreate, and perhaps even surpass, my initial agonies. I stored season three episodes in my DVR, where they undoubtedly tainted other recorded programs with their rotting putrescence, until I could no longer bear the cursed anticipation, then I subjected myself to a fourteen-hour marathon. I endured an evil twin, amnesia (again), more jittery quick cuts than the entire Saw franchise, and more variations on the phrase "How is this possible? You're dead!" than I could have imagined possible. As soon as the ordeal concluded, my eyes retreated behind a glazy film, and I started scribbling the revelations laid bare by this masochistic viewing approach.

A Goonies-related epiphany:
Angela Petrelli is a slight variation on Mama Fratelli's tale. Disappointed with the antics of her two favored sons, a sinister Italian matron unleashes a monster child who's been kept in captivity. Like the Fratelli mutant, Sylar turns out to be a misunderstood nice guy - at least for a few minutes. But remember, Sloth didn't stay tame forever, either. He became pretty goddamn brutal in his spinoff sequel The Hills Have Eyes.

New catch phrase that must end now:
Claire Bennett: "It ends here."
Peter Petrelli: "This ends now."
Noah Bennett: "This ends today."

Let the old catch phrase fucking die, already:
Hiro Nakamura: "Save the cheerleader!"
Nathan Petrelli: "Save ourselves, save the world."

Most accurate occupational depiction:
Freshly appointed Senator Nathan Petrelli, who manages to avoid any congressional votes, duties or appearances throughout the entire season.

Worst introduction of a mystical black man:
Wandering shaman Usutu eventually gets to feed time-travelling imp Hiro hyena dung while spouting wise-elder quotes like "The future can only be the future for so long, then it becomes the present" and "Evil forces gather. The dark sun rises." First, though, he must crack a Britney Spears joke and deliver a product-placement quip ("No service here [in the African desert], you should've gone with Sprint"), as if he were devised as a comic foil for the two already-clownish characters with whom he briefly interacts before being beheaded.

Best unintentional reference to Hayden Panettierre's horrifying singing career:
Electric Elle, discussing Sylar's botched hanging: "Maybe his suicide was a wake up call."

Grace in the face of tragedy:
1) Angela Petrelli's not-at-all suspicious first words to the doctor after learning the husband she'd poisoned had died: "I'd like a cremation as soon as possible."

2) Tracy Strauss, twin sister of split-personality skank Niki Sanders, wears fashionable white and retarded oversized sunglasses to a press conference at which her husband, President Nathan Petrelli, laments the deaths of 200,000 people in a nuclear blast. On a related note, most of the zombie-eyed future sketches are vague, with unspecific locations and broadly rendered faces that, if used as police sketches, would place half the city under suspicion. However, the painting of this disaster considerately includes a "Welcome to Costa Verde" sign in front of the mushroom cloud.

Abstinence-inducing sex scenes (Not coincidentally, these were the only two sex scenes):

1) Wrong-headed scientist Mohinder says he needs to make useless twin Maya angry in order to stop her fatal Hershey's tears from flowing. He starts espousing idiotic theories and touching her inappropriately, but this turns out to be alarmingly unrelated. After injecting himself with super powers, Mohinder enjoys a brief stint as a sweaty shirtless douchebag, during which he rips off Maya's shirt during an unwatchable seduction. It's worth noting that Mohinder later crawls nakedly out of a gelatinous afterbirth cocoon.

2) Nathan saves Tracy from plunging to her death during a sub-Charmed flying sequence. Rewarding him with spectacle, she demonstrates the ability to freeze objects with her touch. Nathan observes "your hands aren't even cold," then kisses her immediately. Ladies, take note: Suicidal depression and frigidity are the ultimate turn-ons!

Files of the Forgotten:

Remember Monica Dawson, the little girl who inspired beleaguered New Orleans viewers to stand up and cheer with her inspiring ability to mimic what she saw on TV? Well, she died, I guess. But fear not, Katrina-ravaged metropolis, for I predict she will soon be available to inspire you and teach you how to live and love again! It seems Monica revived when a funeral-home worker watched an idiotic sci-fi soap opera that featured multiple resurrections.

Remember Caitlin, the uninteresting Irish lass with whom amnesiac Peter had an interminable tryst before leaving her stranded in a disease-infested futuristic dystopia? Apparently Peter doesn't. Neither do the shows writers. Eh, good fucking riddance.

Blue-Collar Comedy Villain:

Flint's power seems pretty lame (see, there's already someone who makes fire with their hands, but his flame burns blue). However, he serves another purpose - recruiting slack-jawed yokels to watch one of their own kick ass on that city-folks show with the Indian fella and his fancy science words. This balding hick drawls plenty of yee-haw punchlines ("you want him crispy or well-done?") Even when he attempts to rape a hostage, he's still providing redneck comic relief ("I hear Stockholm Syndrome is like Spanish Fly!")

Mohinder's Burden:
Mohinder's narration seems to exist outside continuity, as you might expect someone who's rapidly becoming a reptilian deathbringer to have a bit more of a panicked tone to his philosophical ramblings. However, they're actually Future Mohinder's punishment for killing two people, even though his victims were conveniently a wife-beater and a drug-dealer. He's been sentenced to babble incessantly, ignored by all who hear him.

There is good and there is evil. Right and wrong. Heroes and villains. We're a ship without a storm, the cold without the warm, the throw before the toss, the hand that writes and quickly moves away. We wait in silence for these times when sense can be made of this show's ludicrous plots, when meaningless characters come into focus. And if we have the strength to be endure absolutely anything, then what we find there, staring back at us, is our own reflection, bearing witness to the duality of life. And each one of us is capable of both the dark and the light, of good and evil, of either, of all.