Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Monkeying Around With In-N-Out

Monkeying Around With In-N-Out

Over the past week the internet went fairly crazy over the news that In-n-Out's not so secret menu had a new addition on it. A statement I can't really understand because the secret menu is nothing more than what In-N-Out normally does upon request of your order. So even though you say animal style, they would have sauteed the the onions for you anyway if you requested it like that.

In any case, the newest addition to the menu, according to many bloggers was Monkey Style. 

So the idea is you put animal style fries into a burger. So to break it down some more, you just order a burger animal style... and put fries in it. Yes. That's all there is to this secret concept. I'm pretty sure if you asked them to put fries on top of your burger, they probably would have done so. Or hell, here's a concept. Order the animal style fries and combine them at your table.

In the culinary discovery department, this isn't all that shocking or new. San Diego developed their special "California Burrito" by simply putting fries into an existing burrito and BAM, a new invention was created. I do have to wonder what the point of fries in a burger does to it in terms of flavor anyway. Considering that in a burrito, that fries add a starch and crunch that is a bit lacking. Burgers already have that crunch with lettuce.

But even so, it seems that a lot of people fell for this social media creation and in actuality, it wasn't anything more than smoke and mirrors and one big social media prank. So discovered by many including the folks at Food Beast:
Our particular quest to In-N-Out was fruitful, but we’ve heard that many cashiers aren’t familiar with Monkey Style, or simply shy away from creating it due to its possible disruptive nature to the back of the house.
Again, I'm pretty sure that people at In-N-Out just don't acknowledge it simply because the name sounds really stupid. But sure enough, folks were led like fools to this epic meal time like challenge.

I got news for you, Denny Boy Spitta. Your name alone makes you look like the biggest fool. Not just at In-N-Out. But also wanting to try this burger is justification enough that you are in fact, exactly what the In N Out confirmed for you.

In any event, I'm going to start the next fake In-N-Out secret menu craze. I call it the Gramps. You take your burger you order, the fries and put it in the vanilla shake and then you blend it altogether. Suck it down like a champ that you are and show America what you're made of. FUCK YEAH! This, of course, is to honor gramps and how without any teeth, he would be drinking his meal.

Or you could be a normal person and eat it like a fucking human being that doesn't need to shove all his food in processed form down your noise hole. I just don't fucking get it. In-N-Out is all about freshness. From the ingredients that make up your burger to the vanilla shake and the potatoes the fries are cut on site from. Why the fuck do you want to shove them all together and not savor them little by little opposed to just smashing fries on your burger and thumping your chest.

You fucking confuse me, America. Happy almost birthday.

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