Putting The Coke Back In Cola

Putting The Coke Back In Cola

It's a tough lesson, but when you finally realize that you can't put the genie back in the bottle and accept that as a fact, your life will get a whole lot easier. It's no surprise that at one point Coke actually was made with trace amounts of cocaine.. which of course comes from the coca plant.

But since discovering how powerful that drug is, not to mention expensive - they took it out. Now Coke is completely safe... right? Well, in Bolivia they are trying to put that genie back into the bottle.

Coca Colla hopes to create a buzz in Bolivia

By Andres Schipani
BBC News, La Paz, Bolivia

The beverage has a red-and-white label, tastes ultra-sweet, gives you a buzz and - says its producer - it keeps you awake.

But it is not the drink with similar effect and a similar name you might think it is.

An unlikely newcomer has made the world of soft drinks a little more crowded: Bolivia has started producing a new fizzy drink using the coca leaf.

It is called "Coca Colla" after the Colla people, the Andean tribes who cultivate coca in the areas bordering Bolivia, Chile and Argentina.

For some a matter of indigenous pride, for others another sign of Bolivia's growing anti-US feelings, this humble local initiative has set its sights on competing domestically with giants such as Coca-Cola and Red Bull.

The new "energy soft drink" is made by a private company, with a modest initial investment of a $1,000 (£650), but it is backed up by a government policy of industrialising the cultivation of the coca leaf.

The leaf is a key element in the Andean people's culture and economy. However, it is also cocaine's raw material.

That association with drugs is a motivating influence on the drink's creator Victor Ledezma.

"I want to get to the whole world with my coca-leaf-based drink," says Ledezma, a coca farmer from El Chapare region in central Bolivia.

"Coca has a lot of potential … this can change the image of Bolivia as being a drug-trafficking country," he believes.

According to Mr Ledezma, Bolivia's new ally, Iran, has already expressed an interest, having ordered two million bottles.

And some countries in the region, members of the left-wing Alba bloc - mainly Venezuela and Paraguay - are considering not only importing, but also financing Mr Ledezma's project.

"I've developed my own secret formula. I started making the drink at home, based on my beloved but otherwise reviled coca leaf and outsourcing the bottling process," Mr Ledezma says.

"Now we are building a plant in Santa Cruz and aiming to have investments for at least $1m. That's for a start. The whole world should know that coca, besides from its good taste, is good for body and the soul," Mr Ledezma adds.

Now I'm going to get my smug on for a second and just say that I seldom ever drink soda anymore If I do, it's like a rare instance and it has to be something that isn't Pepsi or Coke. There's too much crap in it and the calories seem like a waste on something so mundane. Let's be honest here. Is there any reason that having mild amounts of cocaine in a soda would be worse for you then the massive quantities of HFCS, guarana and caffeine found in most energy drinks like Red Bull and Volt?

It's pretty cool that Evo Morales himself is a coca grower. Just think about how much pure cocaine rules. This is cool because it shows people like drugs and hate American puritanical bullshit. Just think of the motto that could go along with it. Coca Colla - It's A Hell of a Drink! But really, this isn't really any different than what people already drink. One more thing for tourist to do in Bolivia now while they o on that tour where you can buy a shitload of dynamite and blow it up in the middle of nowhere.



On a serious note, Coca production could actually be made a harmless and useful part of the South American/North Andean economy. Not through soda alone, but why would that be a bad thing? Oh wait, I'm encouraging reasonable drug policy? Ha! Yeah it's already in tea. In Peru you can get yourself some coca tea. And no, you won't be addicted to tea afterwords.

Finding alternate profitable uses for coca would do more to decrease cocaine production than any policy the US has taken on the war on drugs in the last 30 years. Same goes for Afghanistan, finding alternate uses for poppies would be an infinitely better solution than literally destroying the livelihoods of rural farmers who would be 1000x more useful as stable and useful allies against the Taliban.

then again US still bans hemp, so yeah. That's not changing any time soon, right. If it wasn't for the pervasive influence of regressive Catholicism, you'd get a lot more of this and a lot less of "GM chicken causes the gay" from socialist latin American leaders.



A couple of days ago was the 25th anniversary of the introduction of New Coke. Just think of how much of a change it would be if Coke actually got in on this. Besides, how does coca cola get away with selling a product called coca cola that contains neither coca nor kola? Oh, what am I saying. Coca Cola still contains coca. The extract is however de-cocainized and the process overseen by the DEA. See, the Chemistry needs to be respected.

Fun Fact: The only reason that coca isn't a mainstay of acceptable western society like other plants from the new world is because coca plants couldn't survive the voyage back to Europe. I can't wait till Latin America and Asia figure out that they possess the perfect situations for growth and export of things every last country on Earth wants, and in return for it, all American can do is give you a pill to keep your boner longer.

Girls Will Be Girls

Girls Will Be Girls

I often hear people talk about how much better things where "back in the day" and I have to wonder if they're not just looking at their memories with rose tinted glasses. I mean, let's face it. Back then if you were colored you would have your own water fountain and if you were a woman you would have to fight for your right not to be barefoot and pregnant. Can't say those days were all peachy like The Wonder Years make them out to be.

Even dating was strange back then. Going Steady was the big commitment and till then it was socially acceptable to date multiple boys at the same time. In today's modern standards you'd be considered a cheap slut if you did the same thing. The only catch is once you go "steady", you had to remain steady with that one boy.


That sweater is painted on. What a tramp! Then again, that girl really likes to mount a lot of guys..... on her wall.

To all of you who feel the need to hearken back to those glory days of things that were better times... well, apparently all of you readers were previously unaware of the things that teenage girls in the 1960's did..... like douching with coca cola to prevent pregnancy. Girls have always had their fascinating mysteries.

Yes, that's right. They were douching with Coca Cola bottles. Back in the 1950s and 1960s, this method of parenthood prevention proved somewhat popular because not only was it cheap and universally available at a time when reliable birth control methods were hard to come by, but it also came in its own handy "shake and shoot" disposable applicator. After intercourse, the girl would uncap a warm Coke, put her thumb over the mouth of the bottle, shake up the beverage, then insert the neck of the bottle in her vagina and move her thumb out of the way. The warm well-shaken Coke became an effervescent spermicidal douche, with the traditional (at that time) six-ounce bottle providing what was deemed to be just the right amount for one application.

There's a good indicator of how far america has fallen in the past five decades: the traditional coke bottle used to be six ounces

And before you ask... or maybe you didn't, but I'll answer it for you. Yes it's true, Some of your moms and grandmas probably did that. Makes you question asking if grandma wants another coke during the next family barbecue, doesn't it? In fact if you have curly hair but your parents don't, it's probably because you came from carbonated sperm.

Goes to show you that even though you don't allow the children to take part of the grown up activities of abortions, they'll still find a creative way to do it. I just wonder how many children were born this way when the teenage soon-to-be-mother used Pepsi instead of Coke. I mean, it is the choice of the new generation, after all...

Ok, that was just in poor taste. It's not like today's youth are lining up and plugging up their girlfriends with compressed CO₂ cylinders and throwing the valve wide open. So on that regard, the kids are a bit more alright. Unless you count all that myspacing and twitter...

30 Dates Of Nights: 2

30 Dates Of Nights: 2

The L.A. Times released this article about eight dates under $25 in Los Angeles. While I was a bit surprised that I had already done a couple from that list without knowing it was such a normal date thing to do, I wasn't happy that they would only offer up eight ideas. So I went ahead and I challenged myself to come up with my own amount of cheap but entertaining dates to go on.

Some of these were ones I planned, others are ones I did with a bit of a hindsight twist after doing them and then there's those that are just plain out there ideas. Since it's been two days since the first was posted, I figured that this wont be a daily thing. Much like showing up on time, I'm sure I'll fail if I stated that. But I'll try to do this daily.


Soda Pop And BBQ That Hits The Spot.

It's very simple. You don't have to get her drunk on every trip out. Sure it helps make you sound far more interesting than you really are, but what happens when the hangover is over? Stick with some Pop/Cola/Coke/Soda.. whatever you call it, it's something that takes you back to when you were a kid. Not to mention that it's rather tasty. Perhaps it'll be a way to keep the romance from fizzling. I stopped drinking soda in general. I personally make it a treat when I do get it. Something special. You may guzzle it down like no ones business but even this place will make that carbonated drink special.

Start the date off by making your way to Galco's Soda Pop Shop in the Highland Park/Eagle Rock. This is one of California's Gold and a walk through their produce section that is nothing but seldom seen, but delicious candies and you'll know you and your date will be feeling like kids again.

The store offers nothing but the good stuff. Soda, Candy and Beer (in case you just give up on sobrity) with a deli counter for sandwiches and a feeling once you walk in like you're in a 50's grocers. Again, this place offers the best selection of soda possible. If there's a drink you haven't been able to find or if you're daring to try something new and tasty, this is the place for you. You can also find out what your date's taste is like from what they choose.



The gems here are the original flavor Dr. Pepper and Coke made with pure cane sugar. Most of the sodas here are made with pure cane sugar and you can taste the difference. Forget that corn syrup stuff, that really just makes a soda taste boring. Other strange flavors include ones of different flowers, cucumbers and if you never tasted sarsaparilla, do so. You'll know what grandpa is ranting about. Cause they sure don't make a good one anywhere in the city.

The idea here is to get yourself and your date a total of six or seven sodas to split. Be a little daring while also sticking to stuff you'll like. Prices range between a buck to two for each bottle and you can buy singles or a six pack at a time. There's cold versions of most of the more popular sodas. Shouldn't cost you more than $10. Get your soda and after walking through the shop commenting on the different sodas head on out.

After you've blown however much you were going to blow on sugar water, make your way over the little hump of a hill and onto Colorado Blvd. where you will find The Oinkster



There the two of you can share a pulled pork sandwich and some fries. I don't mean just any pulled pork sandwich. This is one really really tasty pulled pork sandwich. The place has outdoor seating and a real hip/cool factor to it. If you're not into swine they have other BBQ related items. Some pastrami or a burger and you're good to go.

Combine that with the sodas you just bought and that should hold your stomachs well enough for the time being. Don't drink all those sodas just yet, make some room for the amazing Ube Milkshake. But watch out, your date will more than likely NOT want to share much of it with you. If that happens, don't worry. It doesn't mean that they don't like you, it's just that it's really really REALLY good.

There you have it. You should have something interesting to talk about from the two locations there and plenty of enjoyment for your bellies to make that date something to remember.

Cost:
Oinkster - $10-15
Galco's - $10
Price range = $20-25

Previously on 30 Dates Of Nights:
1. Bonfire At The Beach