Putting The Coke Back In Cola

Putting The Coke Back In Cola

It's a tough lesson, but when you finally realize that you can't put the genie back in the bottle and accept that as a fact, your life will get a whole lot easier. It's no surprise that at one point Coke actually was made with trace amounts of cocaine.. which of course comes from the coca plant.

But since discovering how powerful that drug is, not to mention expensive - they took it out. Now Coke is completely safe... right? Well, in Bolivia they are trying to put that genie back into the bottle.

Coca Colla hopes to create a buzz in Bolivia

By Andres Schipani
BBC News, La Paz, Bolivia

The beverage has a red-and-white label, tastes ultra-sweet, gives you a buzz and - says its producer - it keeps you awake.

But it is not the drink with similar effect and a similar name you might think it is.

An unlikely newcomer has made the world of soft drinks a little more crowded: Bolivia has started producing a new fizzy drink using the coca leaf.

It is called "Coca Colla" after the Colla people, the Andean tribes who cultivate coca in the areas bordering Bolivia, Chile and Argentina.

For some a matter of indigenous pride, for others another sign of Bolivia's growing anti-US feelings, this humble local initiative has set its sights on competing domestically with giants such as Coca-Cola and Red Bull.

The new "energy soft drink" is made by a private company, with a modest initial investment of a $1,000 (£650), but it is backed up by a government policy of industrialising the cultivation of the coca leaf.

The leaf is a key element in the Andean people's culture and economy. However, it is also cocaine's raw material.

That association with drugs is a motivating influence on the drink's creator Victor Ledezma.

"I want to get to the whole world with my coca-leaf-based drink," says Ledezma, a coca farmer from El Chapare region in central Bolivia.

"Coca has a lot of potential … this can change the image of Bolivia as being a drug-trafficking country," he believes.

According to Mr Ledezma, Bolivia's new ally, Iran, has already expressed an interest, having ordered two million bottles.

And some countries in the region, members of the left-wing Alba bloc - mainly Venezuela and Paraguay - are considering not only importing, but also financing Mr Ledezma's project.

"I've developed my own secret formula. I started making the drink at home, based on my beloved but otherwise reviled coca leaf and outsourcing the bottling process," Mr Ledezma says.

"Now we are building a plant in Santa Cruz and aiming to have investments for at least $1m. That's for a start. The whole world should know that coca, besides from its good taste, is good for body and the soul," Mr Ledezma adds.

Now I'm going to get my smug on for a second and just say that I seldom ever drink soda anymore If I do, it's like a rare instance and it has to be something that isn't Pepsi or Coke. There's too much crap in it and the calories seem like a waste on something so mundane. Let's be honest here. Is there any reason that having mild amounts of cocaine in a soda would be worse for you then the massive quantities of HFCS, guarana and caffeine found in most energy drinks like Red Bull and Volt?

It's pretty cool that Evo Morales himself is a coca grower. Just think about how much pure cocaine rules. This is cool because it shows people like drugs and hate American puritanical bullshit. Just think of the motto that could go along with it. Coca Colla - It's A Hell of a Drink! But really, this isn't really any different than what people already drink. One more thing for tourist to do in Bolivia now while they o on that tour where you can buy a shitload of dynamite and blow it up in the middle of nowhere.



On a serious note, Coca production could actually be made a harmless and useful part of the South American/North Andean economy. Not through soda alone, but why would that be a bad thing? Oh wait, I'm encouraging reasonable drug policy? Ha! Yeah it's already in tea. In Peru you can get yourself some coca tea. And no, you won't be addicted to tea afterwords.

Finding alternate profitable uses for coca would do more to decrease cocaine production than any policy the US has taken on the war on drugs in the last 30 years. Same goes for Afghanistan, finding alternate uses for poppies would be an infinitely better solution than literally destroying the livelihoods of rural farmers who would be 1000x more useful as stable and useful allies against the Taliban.

then again US still bans hemp, so yeah. That's not changing any time soon, right. If it wasn't for the pervasive influence of regressive Catholicism, you'd get a lot more of this and a lot less of "GM chicken causes the gay" from socialist latin American leaders.



A couple of days ago was the 25th anniversary of the introduction of New Coke. Just think of how much of a change it would be if Coke actually got in on this. Besides, how does coca cola get away with selling a product called coca cola that contains neither coca nor kola? Oh, what am I saying. Coca Cola still contains coca. The extract is however de-cocainized and the process overseen by the DEA. See, the Chemistry needs to be respected.

Fun Fact: The only reason that coca isn't a mainstay of acceptable western society like other plants from the new world is because coca plants couldn't survive the voyage back to Europe. I can't wait till Latin America and Asia figure out that they possess the perfect situations for growth and export of things every last country on Earth wants, and in return for it, all American can do is give you a pill to keep your boner longer.

Summer Season Means Bad Diets

Summer Season Means Bad Diets

With memorial day out of the way and the issuing in of summer it means one thing. Wearing very little. Beaches, Bikini's, Babes and Booooooooobs! But before you put on that two piece there's a few things you have to remember.



The first is that a study shows that bikini's make you look like a piece of meat to guys.

Sexy women in bikinis really do inspire some men to see them as objects, according to a new study of male behavior. Brain scans revealed that when men are shown pictures of scantily clad women, the region of the brain associated with tool use lights up.

Men were also more likely to associate images of sexualized women with first-person action verbs such as "I push, I grasp, I handle," said lead researcher Susan Fiske, a psychologist at Princeton University.

And in a "shocking" finding, Fiske noted, some of the men studied showed no activity in the part of the brain that usually responds when a person ponders another's intentions.

This means that these men see women "as sexually inviting, but they are not thinking about their minds," Fiske said. "The lack of activation in this social cognition area is really odd, because it hardly ever happens."

Evolutionary psychologists have proposed that women tend to look for mates who have wealth and power, so some of Fiske's colleagues have suggested running a similar test where women are shown pictures of men next to expensive cars or other affluent symbols.

But Fiske doesn't think such an experiment would work the same way, because women usually react to men they desire by "interpreting their minds, thinking about what they're interested in, and then trying to please them," she said.

But don't let that stop you. I seriously wont be complaining. Wait, I'm taken. I shouldn't be looking at such things! Yes. that's right. NOT LOOKING! Yeah, that's right. Sheesh, I have eyes you know! Don't worry baby, you're number 1 to me.

Ok, moving on now since I'm sure I'm never getting laid again, with this piece of info it's no wonder that with summer here, people are going crazy for that last minute method to lose a couple of pounds. Whatever you do, do not try The Red Bull diet... It's not one of those diets you should try to follow.

A 23-year-old Auckland mother who lost 45kg in eight months by drinking nothing but energy drink Red Bull says she has ongoing health problems because of the diet.

Brooke Robertson told the Herald on Sunday she shrank from 105kg to 60kg drinking nothing but 10 to 14 cans a day, often accompanying them with nothing more than a handful of dry Honey Puffs.

Ms Robertson said she put on weight while carrying son Keir, now four, but did not make a conscious decision to go on a Red Bull diet.

"I just started drinking it. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating – I was exhausted," she said.

"I just continued to drink it because it's an appetite suppressant and I noticed I was losing weight so stuck with it."

Ms Robertson said she managed to keep her addiction secret from family and friends, and did not recover from it until after a two-week stay in hospital following a minor heart attack.

She said she has a heart murmur, gets severe pain and cramping in her stomach and bowel, and suffers anxiety attacks.

A Red Bull spokesman said there was "scientific evidence that caffeine is not addictive".

The drink was available in 148 countries "because health authorities across the world have concluded that Red Bull is safe to consume", he said.

I like how the article is predominantly focused on the diet aspects of the story, and not the fact that some nutcase drank nothing but Red Bull for 8 months. It's a terrible way to lose weight.. Well, I guess it gets results. Then again, she lost weight because she was taking in less calories than she was expending, althogh the quality of her diet was insufficient to nourish her over a significant period of time. Fascinating how that works.



What shocks me most about that article is that they're actually saying that Caffeine is NOT addictive. Can we tell tha tto the billions of coffee drinkers around the world? I know sure as well, as a former addicted junkie, that it's actually addicting.

Then again, if she wants to do this to herself, by all means knock yourself out. Just wait until she passes the massive kidney stones she's likely developed because of her ridiculous levels of Red Bull consumption. Or perhaps she'll just drop dead sooner or later. I knew a guy once who was perfectly healthy, 29, had a heart attack after drinking 4 or 5 a day for a few months.



I'm surprised she didn't get rickets or scurvy or beri beri or any other vitamin defficeincy that you get from drinking on ly soft drinks for 10 months. Maybe she would have done better with 10-14 glasses of prune juice per day. I wouldn't mind reading the headline to that. "World's Rawest Anus Can't get a break!"

I guess it just troubles me on what some people will do to have control. Someone driect this woman to weight watchers. At least that's healthy weight loss. Red Bull and all these ridiculous energy drinks that have taken over the gas station fridges taste so gross to me. I don't see why they are so popular. Red Bull looks a lot like fizzy piss. Want to stop drinking it? Pour it into a glass and look at it. The stuff looks nasty.



And as for health conditions, I don't get it. I once took Red Bull with Vodka. I didn't sleep for two days and my heart couldn't stop beating a mile a minute. Noooo thank you. I don't ever want to feel like I'm going to have my heart explode. I can't imagine drinking that shit nonstop for so many months.

So perhaps you should reconsider the crash diets, especially ones that are two steps above taking crack cocaine to lose the weight. I lean towards proper eating, a decent amount of working out and laying off the tasty after dinner treats that will add some junk to your trunk.

Energy Fuel Showdown Part 1

Energy Fuel Showdown Part 1

In the recent past I got on my soap box and ranted about how energy drinks think I'm a huge pussy. Hell, I even went away from those mean drinks and tried anti-energy. But then I got so lethargic that I pounded even more sugar filled drinks. I continued to do this grueling punishment of tasting them one by one for the sake of reviewing them. I like punishment.

I'm also on a constant quest in trying to get the most out of the 24 hours in my day. I don't have the time to be tired. Sleep? Ha! That's for the weak and the dead. I am neither one of these. While I do have a life time of staying awake I understand some of you are not filled with my ability to stay up late. To you normal humans that need to turn to taurines and guanines and caffeines and vita-meines B12 and B6. There's also Coffee, but for those of you who have tasted expresso from around the world, that may not be enough. With that said, here's the first round up of some common energy drinks.

All numbers are out of 10.

Redbull:

Taste: 3, Though it's an acquired taste, no aftertaste which is good.
Potency: 3, a couple hours at most, then a terrible crash.

This is the Coke of energy drinks. It's the most recognizable, good place to start because it gets you used to any terrible tasting energy drink. Great right before you have to drive home or take a big test because it will only last that long and you can chill (and then fall asleep) afterwards. But I have to warn you, mixing it with Vodka... holy shit, I really don't want to remember how my heart felt like it was going to explode.

NOS:

Taste: Blue, Red and Purple get 8
Potency: 6, hyper for first hour or two, alert and awake for several hours.

The first one I had kept me up all night, but it was early on in my Energy Drink-Punishment. Still pretty powerful. These were expensive as fuck. I have no idea why I went with all three. The blue did have a guava and mango taste. So it was pretty decent in that aspect.

Cocaine: A "legal alternative to the drug."

Taste: 0, burned my mouth, burned my throat, I'm not sure what it tastes like.
Potency: 10, had a little of it at 10pm, didn't sleep 'till 6am.

Extremely hard to find, I had to get it in a liquor mart in south central. Which I suppose is only fitting. I'm sure it tastes disgusting, but I couldn't tell because it burned my mouth, and then burned for a while afterwards. The can was also strangely flammable. I've heard tales of people drinking two or more cans and spending all night vomiting.

No Fear:

Taste: 1, like garbage, literally, even worst aftertaste.
Potency: 4, a couple hours at most, probably.

Tastes disgusting, like old vegetables, I barely had half a can because of this.

Full Throttle:

Taste: 6, bad taste, awesome aftertaste.
Potency: 7, decently strong, no all nighters, but some extra hours if you're tired.

Costs as much as a NOS, but more or less worth it.

Monster:

Taste: 9, like candy.
Potency: 1

Delicious, but I fell asleep while drinking it. If this is an energy drink then I am the king of France. It was simply not potent at all.

Rip It:

Taste: 10, like Smarties, amazing.
Potency: 5, enough for a 4 hour excursion with friends.

And cheap, the picture says $1.09, I've seen as low as $.89, most sell for $.99 though. Worth it.

Vault:

Taste: 8, if you like Mountain Dew.
Potency: 3

Tastes like a soda, kicks like a soda with a little extra caffeine. I would relate it to a Mt. Dew with a little extra kick. Only it's not marketed as Exxxxxxtreme as Mt. Dew is.

Rockstar:

Taste: 6, just like Redbull.
Potency: 3, as strong as Redbull.

As far as I'm concerned, this is a more expensive Redbull, tastes good, but not worth it. You aren't a Rockstar when drinking this, so stop trying to act like one.

Dr. DOGG:

Taste: 8, like Monster but only more cartoony
Potency: 4 nothing beyond the normal

Big Buzz had the annoying character on the can and really, I want energy, not a Saturday morning cartoon. The taste was pretty decent. A grapefruit mixed with lightning and a dash of awesomeness. Yes, they bottled awesome and it can be purchased in a can now.

So there you have it. I would like to say that my exposure to these terrible drinks were limited to just these but that would be wishful thinking. I drank more... a lot more energy drinks to review and I'll get to them later in sequel parts to this segment. Consider it the "What punishment have I gone through for your entertainment" portion of this blog.