Three Wolf Moon Shirts Ain't Got Shit On Me!

Three Wolf Moon Shirts Ain't Got Shit On Me!

Fuck you Mom, I don't want to play Xbox360, I'm a Teen Wolf! You need to watch this.. I mean, really. Just watch it.



My gut reaction to the story can be put no other way than this following Sinfield gif.



First off, Learn how to fucking pronounce Clique properly, you fucking cocksuckers! I love how the news report tries to bring you into the story. "What were you in high school?" Yesss! Finally a chance to live my glory days again! Oh white people, stop being so silly.

I like how they mention that Gangsters are posers cause they tag on the walls cause they just want attention and shit. Yet these fools wear wolf tails because? All this is, is a strange mutation of furries.

But let's go down the list of cliques. We got the Cheerleaders, nerds, jocks and goths. Oh yeah, and now we need to include the fucking werewolves. Let's not fool ourselves. These kids are just goth kids with tails. They really need to try harder.



This has got to be the gayest pretense for teenagers to hook up that I've ever seen and I was a huge fucking nerd on the computer club who played Magic:TG when I was a teenager. But again, Gangs are posers and just want attention... right. I like how this news department, instead of reporting on the war or BP's massive oil spill, the news reports on teen werewolves. Clearly a good example that we're fucked as a nation.

These kids are going to kill themselves when they are 25. I was such a douche when I was young and I wanted to kill myself and I was, like, 1% as douchey as this group. They can't even admit that they're going for the whole Team Jacob bullshit of twilight. At least grow a pair and admit to the fact that this is some "hip" attempt to cash in on Twilight craze.


This group is cooler than those werewolf teenagers

Speaking of which, Twilight is like Soccer in that everybody runs around for two hours and nobody scores, then all the fans just say you don't get it. Though they do have rough vampire sex in the last book. Which almost kills bella. She doesn't remember it, cause you know.. HA HA, Robert Patterson sucks, but then when she becomes a vampire she does. Really makes you think.. About what, I have no fucking clue. Back to the freak show here.

I really can't wait till the controversy about the werewolf imprinting and wanting to fuck the baby comes about. That's when this Twilight craze will really seem silly(ier than it already is) The only time teen werewolvness has ever been cool was the 80's and even that shit is questionable.

I worked with the star of Teen Wolf 2 and he didn't have fond memories of that shit. So maybe we should just drink till we forget this shit ever happened.

By The Books Oral Sex

By The Books Oral Sex

In an effort to keep this streak of sexual related topics in this, the shortest month that has been taken over with love and affection, we move on to a news story that was from last week, but I felt the need to hold it back. I mean, I can't just blow my load and whip out all the news stories on the day they come out. I have to stretch them out some and make them last. Wouldn't want to run out of material too soon. Annnnnnnnnnd enough of the thinly laced euphemisms, here's the Oral Sex story;

After a parent complained about an elementary school student stumbling across "oral sex" in a classroom dictionary, Menifee Union School District officials decided to pull Merriam Webster's 10th edition from all school shelves earlier this week.

School officials will review the dictionary to decide if it should be permanently banned because of the "sexually graphic" entry, said district spokeswoman Betti Cadmus. The dictionaries were initially purchased a few years ago for fourth- and fifth-grade classrooms districtwide, according to a memo to the superintendent.

"It's just not age appropriate," said Cadmus, adding that this is the first time a book has been removed from classrooms throughout the district.

"It's hard to sit and read the dictionary, but we'll be looking to find other things of a graphic nature," Cadmus said. She explained that other dictionary entries defining human anatomy would probably not be cause for alarm.

Just so you're clear on what happened.. THEY TOOK AWAY THE GOD DAMN DICTIONARY BECAUSE IT HAD ORAL SEX IN IT! I think it's time I finally write that childrens book I always wanted to write. I'll make a killing selling "Words for Kool Kidz" with definitions of "wee wee" instead of penis.



I have to say that parents are terrible. How could you remove a book from an entire school district because ONE KID read the dictionary definition of oral sex? How do you know they even understood it? Lets look at what the Merriam Websters dictionary says about this word:

oral sex
Function: noun
Date: 1973
: oral stimulation of the genitals : cunnilingus, fellatio

The average fifth grader doesn't know what "oral" or "stimulation" or "genitals" means. But then again, they can just look up those words in the same book. So the problem grows exponentially from there as they learn meanings of more and more words. Dear god, what will we ever do if they learn those words? Clearly the only solution is to ban education in real Americ--ooooh yeah, wait. That's what they've shooting for some time now to achieve.. Clearly the only real solution is to ban all the words entirely.. Well, except for the words from our lord and savior, Jesus Christ!

It's a good thing that none of them have access to a bible. There's some pretty warped stuff in there that would give kids nightmares and confuse them to new levels altogether. I mean, Jesus had a hooker as a friend. What up with that. And I'm sure there's a lot about sodomy in there. On that subject, they should probably ban pencils as well. I have always said that those things looked pretty phallic. Just a note, kids. Remember to use them eraser side first. You really don't want to go to the nurses for that sort of thing..



Then again, who needs to stick pencils up their hoo-ha when you have sexually graphic text. That stuff is a major turn on, right? When i was in second grade i read the dictionary definition for orgasm and it had a black and white stencil of a woman with her mouth open and i got a boner so i can see where these parents are coming from really

How could anyone possibly think that Merriam webster is prime masturbation material. I mean, yeah, just smell those pages and you might be sporting a half stiffy, not to mention the stock they're using..... God damn, no wonder page 347 was always sticky. It was as if the book was asking for it. But seriously, how can this be even remotely possible;

Board member Randy Freeman, an elementary school teacher and parent to four daughters in Menifee schools said he supports the initial decision to ban the dictionary temporarily.

Freeman said it's "a prestigious dictionary that's used in the Riverside County spelling bee, but I also imagine there are words in there of concern."

How the fuck are educators just now waking up to the idea that kids might look up naughty words in the dictionary. How the fuck does no one know this happens and has happened for probably centuries and why does anyone actually care?



Do I have any teacher readers here? I know my gal is a potential teacher, so I suppose I could ask her in two years when she's one. My sister is one but I don't talk to her nearly enough to even begin to ask her questions about her job. I just need someone to explain why administrators like this always bend over backwards to please one dumbass parent? Would it be so hard to just blow them off? Or would that spark some kind of conflagration of crazed parents who normally don't give a shit what you tell them about little Timmy on Parent/Teacher night, but are for some reason suddenly concerned that there's a book teaching them what Oral sex means.

It's come to my attention that American Christians and the Taleban are remarkably similar, they should just stop fighting and make out already. It's like people would rather have their children not know what their penis is. Perhaps someone could invent a shroud that children would wear so that they may not glimpse their own genitals. Just imagine how wholesome they'll be if they never knew anything about sex!

I remember looking up swear words in the dictionary ALL.THE.TIME. when I was like 10. What I learned was really shocking, but not in the way that you may think. You see, I learned the true definition of the words. Such things as "Bitch", and you know what, it warped me for life. Mainly because a female dog is certainly not as insulting as what I thought those bullies were calling my mother. Maybe we should also ban calculators because you can spell BOOBS on it?



It's not like the dictionary has something really graphic or it insist that "in which the performer MUST swallow". I mean, you only really should swallow for people you care about, right? Maybe then I may have a problem with it, but to take the whole dictionary away is just fucking stupid.

Most of all, it's a good thing that the children these people have gallantly prevented them from looking up a specific term in the dictionary.. will no longer think about sex or sexual terminology and will consequently not get their information from far less reputable, accurate, and reliable sources like their equally clueless peers. It's not like they have any real form of sex ed in schools anymore. Parents have pretty much asked for all of their kids to get pulled out. Oddly enough, those same kids will believe that the pull out method is the best method in having sex.



How about they just put libido suppressants in the kids cafeteria milk so they can't get it up and be done with it already. Just cut out the middle man altogether. Give them enough medication to numb them from every possible feeling they could ever attempt to try to have. Then again, white people shouldn't breed anyway. They just pass along the white man's guilt. It's about high time we put an end to that vicious cycle. If you're not going to tell your kids about sex, you can at least given them the option to get a proper education it.

Shocking News: Fewer Teenagers Are Believing Your Bullshit

Shocking News: Fewer Teenagers Are Believing Your Bullshit

It should come to no surprise that less and less teens are actually buying your load of bullshit when it comes to anti-drug ads. That's at least what the L.A Times is saying

The federal government's annual report of kids’ alcohol and drug abuse seems reassuring: Compared with earlier in the decade, use of hallucinogens was down in 2008, marijuana use was way down, and use of methamphetamines was way, way down.

But the researchers and public officials who crunch those numbers warned that some of the statistics gleaned from an annual survey of 46,000 American eighth-, 10th- and 12th-graders were worrisome.

Though drug and alcohol use seems to be declining or holding steady, there has been slippage in teen disapproval of such practices and perception of the risks, officials warned.

Take marijuana use, which had declined steadily among teens since the mid-1990s. This year, 19.4% of high school seniors said they had smoked marijuana at some point in the prior 30 days, as did 13.8% of 10th-graders and 5.8% of eighth-graders. The downward trend has stalled in the last two years, and kids' attitudes suggest a reversal may be ahead.

In 1991, 58% of eighth-graders said they thought occasional marijuana use was harmful. By last year, that number had fallen to 48%, and this year, to 45%.

In a Washington, D.C., news conference Monday, Gil Kerlikowske, the Obama administration's drug czar, called such numbers "a warning sign."

"When beliefs soften, drug use worsens," said Kerlikowske, whose office is expected to release its first policy initiatives to combat and treat drug abuse in February.

University of Michigan researcher Lloyd Johnston, who oversees the annual survey, said there was "serious softening" in the perceived risks of LSD, inhalants and the party drug Ecstasy -- a sign that "a new generation of kids are interested . . . in rediscovering these drugs, because they don't understand why they shouldn't be using them."

Johnston also flagged a phenomenon the survey has recently begun to track -- "extreme binge drinking," or the consumption of more than 10 drinks on a single occasion. Coming on the heels of the weekend death of South Pasadena's Aydin Salek, an 18-year-old suspected of having succumbed to alcohol poisoning, the survey's findings suggest that such high-risk drinking is not unusual among older teens.

Binge drinking, defined as consumption of five drinks or more in a row, has declined since peaking in 1983. But Johnston said there has been "not much decline" in numbers of extreme binge drinkers.

Among high school seniors, 11% said they had drunk 10 drinks or more in a row in the two weeks prior to the survey; 6% said they'd had 15 or more.

The survey also showed that U.S. adolescents continue to raid their parents' and friends' medicine chests. Use of prescription painkillers is at an all-time high: 10% of high-school seniors reported taking Vicodin for nonmedical reasons in the last year, and 5% reported taking OxyContin.

Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, which has commissioned the survey for 35 years, said at the news conference that teen use of prescription stimulant drugs is holding steady, with just over 7% of 10th- and 12th-graders reporting they had taken amphetamines -- drugs prescribed to many kids in treatment of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder -- for nonmedical reasons. Volkow said that in many cases, teens take these drugs before tests or study sessions as "cognitive enhancers."

Although fewer kids reported taking Ritalin, much of that decline was because kids had merely shifted to Adderall, a newer ADHD drug.

The officials said that youths report some confidence that prescription drugs are less harmful than street drugs.

In the survey's first accounting of where kids get drugs, it found that 66% who reported illicit drug use said they got the drugs from a friend or relative. Almost 19% said they got drugs with a doctor's prescription.

How long were they really expecting this little charade to last? The whole premise of the advertising campaign was to scare children by telling them lies. Did they think that these kids wouldn't grow up into adults and realize it's all a bunch of bullshit? It's like Santa Clause. Eventually the truth floats up to the surface.



Maybe I should underwrite a grant to get requiem for a dream shown in every kindergarten class in the country. I'm sure there will be plenty of people who support that action. But on the other hand, Kids these days, what with the internet and all, are legitimately much smarter than previous generations and this is evidenced through much better writing ability, critical thinking skills, and political awareness.

They ain't geniuses and they're still utterly embarrassing, but they're a damn lot smarter than kids before. Even the stats in this study show evidence of this. Kids know that drug use is not very harmful, and yet choose to not do drugs anyway. Where as kids in the past thought drug use to be more harmful and did comparatively more drugs. Kids are making informed choices and it's not because of the war on drugs.



Perhaps, just perhaps these stats show a more informed population. Kids are actually learning that drugs are not the devil and are still choosing not to use them as much. So it's sort of comical when they still consider occasional marijuana use "harmful". Back in my day, they'd bring in a cracked out hobo to scare the shit out of you. Nothing like a gently weeping man in the front of the classroom to scare kids off drugs, or in my case, make me hate cops.

To be honest, nobody has ever needed a cop to come to their class to inform them that maybe heroin and crack aren't great. All DARE did for me was bring psychedelics to my attention. They sounded pretty cool. And as it turns out they are pretty neat in the way they'll allow you to experience The Matrix. If you want to see how it feels, pop in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas or any other Terry Gilliam film and you're half way there.



I also had anti-gang education in addition to anti-drug education. Yeah, I was in that part of town. They told us that gangs often have initiation ceremonies wherein the members of the gang get to rape your mom. I don't doubt that has ever happened, but let's be real here. That's probably kind of rare. You can't pass that shit as completely real. Unless of course your kids are complete morons. Or your educators are also.

I remember watching an episode of Law and Order in the 9th grade and I kept asking the teacher if the cops could get away with it, like breaking open doors without warrants or throwing people on the ground that had voluntarily surrendered. All the teacher could tell me was that "yeah, of course. They caught the rapist after all." I'm not going to defend a rapist, hell I'm not even sure why I used it as an example, but I've seen the way that a cop works.. Not gonna happen that way.



I'm a little surprised that ten drinks is extreme binge drinking. I mean, I'm a fucking lush apparently. If there's no last call or if I'm at a friendly kick back and I have all the night to indulge myself, I'm at least knocking back 15. Shit, just the other week at an event I had at least 7 drinks and I was still way sober by the end of the night. Sober enough to drive home safely.

When you think about it. Of all the drugs one can abuse, pot is by far the most benign. It's really a case of one vice in exchange for another. Liquor abuse will make you slow and fat and destroy your kidneys. Amphetamine abuse fucks with your circulation and makes you a sweaty jittering mess. Hallucinogen abuse makes you lose touch with reality and yourself.



Pot abuse, on the other hand, makes you funny, charming, handsome and brave. That is if you're not one of those lazy pot heads. Fuck those douches. But the US government will never, ever, ever admit that illegal drugs are not harmful 100% of the time, because neither party wants to be seen as being soft on crime. They live in a bubble

"When beliefs soften, drug use worsens," said Kerlikowske, whose office is expected to release its first policy initiatives to combat and treat drug abuse in February.

This is literally the opposite of the truth. The best thing we could do for the war on drugs is not make drugs taboo so that kids get bored with them. Just like we did with prescription medication and yet people don't take prescription medication as a form of drug abuse. Did you know that prescription painkillers kill more people than heroin and AIDS combined? And that shit you can get with a doctors note over the counter.



Salvia can give you a much uglier, more frightening and uncomfortable version of the DMT experience and is legal to boot. So make some sense out of all that if you will. I know I can't. The worse part about Salvia is the way retarded head shops promote it as a sort of legal alternative to weed, which couldn't be further from the truth. See also "Purple sticky" brand Salvia. Why any news agency ever started reporting that it was a legal form of pot was beyond me. It's far from it and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who wants to simply skirt the law to get their high.

In my experience, eating mushrooms could have been probably my least favorite drug experience, its like chewing on a bunch of twigs. Though the pay out was pretty interesting. One thing an ex discovered was that if you ever have an relationship issues, taking ecstasy together would be a great way to fix any relationship problems and be completely open with each other. I'm just going to leave this topic off on that note.. Cause really, do I have to say anymore?

Girls Will Be Girls

Girls Will Be Girls

I often hear people talk about how much better things where "back in the day" and I have to wonder if they're not just looking at their memories with rose tinted glasses. I mean, let's face it. Back then if you were colored you would have your own water fountain and if you were a woman you would have to fight for your right not to be barefoot and pregnant. Can't say those days were all peachy like The Wonder Years make them out to be.

Even dating was strange back then. Going Steady was the big commitment and till then it was socially acceptable to date multiple boys at the same time. In today's modern standards you'd be considered a cheap slut if you did the same thing. The only catch is once you go "steady", you had to remain steady with that one boy.


That sweater is painted on. What a tramp! Then again, that girl really likes to mount a lot of guys..... on her wall.

To all of you who feel the need to hearken back to those glory days of things that were better times... well, apparently all of you readers were previously unaware of the things that teenage girls in the 1960's did..... like douching with coca cola to prevent pregnancy. Girls have always had their fascinating mysteries.

Yes, that's right. They were douching with Coca Cola bottles. Back in the 1950s and 1960s, this method of parenthood prevention proved somewhat popular because not only was it cheap and universally available at a time when reliable birth control methods were hard to come by, but it also came in its own handy "shake and shoot" disposable applicator. After intercourse, the girl would uncap a warm Coke, put her thumb over the mouth of the bottle, shake up the beverage, then insert the neck of the bottle in her vagina and move her thumb out of the way. The warm well-shaken Coke became an effervescent spermicidal douche, with the traditional (at that time) six-ounce bottle providing what was deemed to be just the right amount for one application.

There's a good indicator of how far america has fallen in the past five decades: the traditional coke bottle used to be six ounces

And before you ask... or maybe you didn't, but I'll answer it for you. Yes it's true, Some of your moms and grandmas probably did that. Makes you question asking if grandma wants another coke during the next family barbecue, doesn't it? In fact if you have curly hair but your parents don't, it's probably because you came from carbonated sperm.

Goes to show you that even though you don't allow the children to take part of the grown up activities of abortions, they'll still find a creative way to do it. I just wonder how many children were born this way when the teenage soon-to-be-mother used Pepsi instead of Coke. I mean, it is the choice of the new generation, after all...

Ok, that was just in poor taste. It's not like today's youth are lining up and plugging up their girlfriends with compressed CO₂ cylinders and throwing the valve wide open. So on that regard, the kids are a bit more alright. Unless you count all that myspacing and twitter...

Getting Off On A Technicality

Getting Off On A Technicality

I keep hearing that relationship/romance blogging is where it's at these days when you want to get hits. Perhaps I should shake off the cob webs and get on with it that sort of writing again. Yeah, you may consider it whoring myself out, but I consider it selling out to the man. What? Don't look at me like that, as you'll read, everyone else is doing it. Why can't I?

American teenagers are so strange when it comes to sex as you can see from this epidemic big enough that a book could be written about it. .

There's an epidemic going on in schools today that has to be addressed. Lots of grown-ups are afraid to talk about it because it just seems too freaky. But I'm not one of them. If we want to get real with ourselves and our God we have to get real about sex. We can't keep on lying to ourselves as if that makes everything okay, because it doesn't. Why are more and more "technical virgins" having more and more sexual encounters? And what does God think about the "technical virgin" anyway? Is he all excited that you found a loophole? Is he happy you are having fun and doing what your body feels like doing? Let's take a logical look at sex and find out if we are going wrong, where we are going wrong, and how to get back on track.

There's a strange situation where people WANT to be virgins. Which confuses me because when I was young and in school, we would all lie about NOT being one. So the idea to be a technical virgin is foreign and confusing. Not to mention it also answers the question on if you're up for anal. Which I suppose saves everyone the awkward conversation.

Not to mention that if it's all for the loophole of getting into heaven or being a good religious follower.. don't you fail already? Whenever I try to find a loophole to get out of doing something it doesn't look all that good on paper for me. Loophole for getting out of paying taxes means I'm going to get boned by the I.R.S. The very idea of a loophole means you're trying to weasel your way out of a situation. If you don't want to be a virgin, then have sex. If you want the title then you're going to have to not give it up. Sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken.

I'm also a little confused on how these kids got to this point. When I was young I had ability to talk to women. Perhaps Aladdin's subliminal message that "Good teenagers take off their clothes" really did work. You evil bastards at Disney. Why couldn't you have released that film earlier? Perhaps I need some guidance.. a book, perhaps? Oh look, if only I had a 9 year old come to my rescue and teach me the pick up artist ways


I would be willing to bet that I've slept with at least 2 more women than him

Why look, a 9 year old writes a book on how to talk to girls. Color me shocked. Not that he wrote a book, kids these days are very talented. But that he actually talks to girls. When I was 9 I wouldn't touch a girl in fear that I would get a dreaded case of the cooties and not be able to play for a week. But let's see what his story is all about:

He's only 9, but this pint-sized pickup artist already knows plenty about pleasing the ladies.

So much, in fact, that Alec Greven's dating primer, "How to Talk to Girls" - which began as a handwritten, $3 pamphlet sold at his school book fair - hit the shelves nationwide last week.

The fourth-grader from Castle Rock, Colo., advises Lothario wannabes to stop showing off, go easy on the compliments to avoid looking desperate - and be wary of "pretty girls."

"It is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewelry," he writes in Chapter Three.

"Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil."

Oh how misogyny is so cute these days. I would say that if you're picking up a book written by a 9 year old on how to talk to women, you're already looking pretty desperate. I suppose I should just say how cute this is, but it's leading up to more of those stupid PUA techniques and the world doesn't need more of that shit. It may be cute and all, but this should be common sense. Saying Hi to someone shouldn't be a pick up trick. It' a simple matter of saying hello to someone.

I wrote a lot of stupid shit when I was a kid. Hell, my friend wrote a ten part epic long story based on a Star Wars Tie-Fighter toy I lent him. And this was in High school. I don't see him nor I getting a book deal out of it. The twist here is that the kids parents had pull and got him the book deal. Way to go Mom and Pop, you just turned your son into VH1's Mystery Jr. I'm sure he'll be missing out in high school on all those technical virgins because they're hip to his game and see that he treats women like cars.


How can you look at this douche and not laugh?

After all these PUA technique bullshit taught by both the young and old, I'm sure you're going to need to get checked out before too long. What with the health industry in the position it's in and most of you without any health care, you'll need some help with that. Aren't you in luck since you can simply ask for a Planned Parenthood Gift Card for Christmas.

Gift Certificates for Birth control? Foes say bah!

At the planned Parenthood of Indiana, 'tis the season of giving health care and contraception. But it's a sentiment that opponents of abortion and artificial birth control say denigrates the holiday season. The network of 35 clinics across the state announced it is offering holiday vouchers for basic health car services "or the recipient's choice of birth control method."

The organization decided to offer the vouchers because so many people are uninsured or are putting off health care because of prohibitive costs, said Betty Cockrum, president and CEO of Planned Parenthood of Indiana. Nearly 800,000 Indiana residents don't have health insurance, she said. Planned Parenthood's annual exams for women, which include Pap tests and breast exams, typically cost $58. The vouchers can be used for the exams, but also for insurance copays and for medication.

Opponents of abortion said Planned Parenthood was making a "mockery" of the holiday season. "The tragedy is that almost 6,000 fewer children will be celebrating a first Christmas this year because they were aborted in Planned Parenthood's Indiana clinics," said Mike Fichter, president and CEO of Indiana Right to Life.

Planned Parenthood of Indiana operates abortion clinics in Indianapolis, Merrillville and Bloomington. "They deserve coal in their stocking, not money for lethal gift certificates," said Sister Diane Carollo, director of the Office for Pro-Life Ministry for the Catholic Archdiocese of Indianapolis. But Cockrum said the vouchers were about giving basic health care, and potentially lifesaving care.

Birth control, it's the gift that keeps on giving.. I know what I'm taking to the white elephant exchange at work. When it comes to practical gifts, I suppose this one is up there. It's certainly no tube socks or a sweater made by your grandmother. After unwrapping a lot of packages, I suppose getting tested would be high on the priority list. ZING! Who needs a Best Buy gift card for DVDs when you can just get a pap smear? Even those technical virgins still have to worry about VD and I don't mean Valentines Day. All in all, people are going to have sex.. or not have sex. I'm not really sure anymore. Perhaps by giving them a key to getting checked out and staying on top of their health, it may actually encourage responsibility. I'm willing to bet it's a better gift than a fruit cake.